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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Featured! Yes! Congrats, fuzzy.
WOOT!!! IT'S HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is one of my favorite FO:E stories, gald to see it brought to FIMFiction.
hey people, please tell me - how much is dark that story compare to... um... well, for example, original FoE and PH?
hey now i can read it on FIM!
Oh Murky you are soooooo fucked right now.
good chapter
1314020 In FOE the highs weren't too high, nor the lows too low. It was kinda grey... like Lil'Pip. PH the highs are blinding and the darkness crushing, but it's very alive, much in the way that Blackjack is white, black and red. M#7 is dark and gloomy, freedom is broken and chained; what life exists is sickly or poisoned, much like Murky Number Seven's dull green coat.
In terms of darkness, PH wins through sheer graphic horror, but it's M#7 that will set your soul howling against the injustice of it all.
Whoa...
Well fuzzy see you on clouds ville. As always an emotional roller coaster ansd I wanted to share my praise. That ending was phenomenal.
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Thanks very much, sah. I'll see you on there. :)
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huh, I swear I somewhere saw this opinion about grey FoE and black-n-white PH, perhaps in PH thread
anyway, thanks for the answer, I suppose I'll start reading Murky #7 when I'm done with last PH chapter
Haven't even read chapter one yet, though I can already guess as to what his Cutie Mark really means: Breaking free. It's not just shackles, but open shackles. That can only mean that either his special talent is breaking free, or helping others do so.
Another wonderfully powerful chapter!
As always, the light points in the chapter really help break up the tension and prevents it from getting too overwhelmingly oppressive. Even little things like pointing out the absurdity of having ladders in a pony built society (something I also touched on in an upcoming chapter of Souls), helps remind the reader that this is still a world of silly cartoon ponies, no mater how messed up it's gotten. The best line of the entire chapter has to be “Mhm...yeah, I'd like him on top, so I can get something inside me too.” Fuzzy must love teasing the Murky/Protege shippers.
Having Murky, and everything around him, so strongly affect by the new of Pip's actions at Arbu reinforced the thought I had about this story since chapter 4. No mater how bleak and bad things get, I know from reading FOE that things will get better, Murky just needs to survive until then.
-In a day or so the real news of Arbu will get out.
-In 10 days the Goddess will be killed and the lack of alicorns will throw Fillydelphia into chaos (hopefully in Murk's favor).
-in 20 days the big battle at Fillydelphia will take place and Murky, if he wasn't already, would be free (if he's not blow up by Celestia Prime).
(Pretty certain on these dates after making a time line for Wings)
Considering all that Murky's overcome so far (it's been 2 weeks since Pip escaped), I have hope that the little pegasus can survive 3 more weeks, and that hope stops this story from getting too depressing to read at times.
Also, I'm SO glad this is on FimFic! Now I can read it anywhere I go on my 3DS and easily comment on chapters. Huge thanks to Doctor Whooves for making it happen!
Wow. Just, wow.
Can't wait to see where it's going from this point. Great work, Fuzzy.
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My pleasure, mate. I'm just happy to help.
That Perk lost part really got to me.
Good to see this featured.
1316962 Yeah, I definitely borrowed the original grey/black analogy, but I can't remember where I found it (probably was the PH thread). I'm definitely partial to PH and MN7 over original FOE though.
it took me all day; bit i finished the third chapter...
Wow...this was really depressing. Sixty Minutes in Hell was by far the most suspenseful and emotionally charged chapter, but the end of this chapter felt harder to read for me than any part of this fic so far. I think it might have something to do with all the references to the original Fallout: Equestria...at the end of the chapter I was feeling horrible for Murky and Littlepip simultaneously, two characters I care a lot about.
Uh, by the way, everything I just said about feeling horrible? That's a very good thing. Keep up the awesomeness!
Now...sorry for how petty this is going to sound...the one thing in this chapter that did, unfortunately, continuously pull me from the story was the constant mis-capitalization of Littlepip's name. My OCDness has been bugged by it in every other chapter too, but this chapter uses her name a lot more than usual, so I got distracted by it a lot more than usual. Again, sorry for the pettiness, but do you mind not spelling her name LittlePip anymore? Because honestly every time I see it it distracts me and pulls me from the mood of the story.
ANYWAY, this chapter was fantastic, and keep up the great work!
Edit: I just remembered a small criticism of mine. I know an arm wrestle must be one the hardest things in the world to write dramatically about, but how things went down was still really ridiculous: Brimstone is winning! No, wait, Shackles is winning because he's done playing around and is now using his true strength. No, wait, Brimstone is winning because he's done playing around and is now using his true strength. No, wait, Shackles is winning because he's done playing around and is now using his true strength. No, wait, Brimstone has won because he's done playing around and finally used his true strength.
It kind of reminded me of the never-ending “power levels” the characters kept on reaching in Dragon Ball Z.
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There is a reasoning behind 'LittlePip' vs Littlepip, I've just not really wanted to outright state it and spoil people finding the reason out for themselves either by logic or with time. All I'd advise is taking a look at where Kkat initially used the spelling I do. It may give a clue. ;)
As for the hoof wrestling, it was more mind games than it was a sudden "I have more strength than that." They were both seeking to humiliate the other by showing them up rather than simply win, hence the deliberate 'step by step' manner until one of them had exhausted their reserves...then the true winner would dump in. Brimstone was just better at hiding it.
Now as always, I'd like to state that I'm not saying your criticisms are wrong, I don't see the point in "defending" a story when the criticism is already made! So I do look at your comment and take it all on board and acknowledge it, so please don't think I'm just discounting or "correcting" you. I'm just offering what my thoughtline and reasonings are, in the hope it may give a little context. :)
Thanks ever so much for your comments, Unknownlight, I'm really glad your that emotionally invested in the characters to feel for them like that (both Littlepip and Murky)!
1324143 Wait...there's a plot-relevant reason for the LittlePip/Littlepip thing? Interesting. Hmm, well, Kkat only used LittlePip in the prologue and Chapter 1, which both took place in Stable 2. After leaving the stable, her name turned into Littlepip, so...maybe it has something to do with that? I dunno.
And yes, I know that they were both trying to humiliate each other in the arm wrestle, but when I was reading it it still all seemed kinda ridiculous how many layers of humiliation they both had, so...yeah.
You're welcome, and thank you! ()
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Glad and excited to see the story posted here on FiMFic, Fuzzy. I'll still be leaving my reviews on Cloudsville as well, though.
Also, it's official - Murky Number Seven is the most grimdark thing I've ever read.
My poor soul feels crushed.
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The comment above only made me realise I somehow missed this point.
I absolutely know that Pyrelight wasn't actually a massive beast. It's more in Murky's perspective that he, in his entire life, has NEVER seen anything like Pyrelight before, after for the first time having truly opened his eyes.
To him, even a large bird with a massive aura would seem gigantic. It's more about Pyrelight's presence than her mass to little Murky. :)
My favourite fic finally making it's way onto Fimfic, day has been made!
Sweet Celestia! How did I go this long without realizing this was on here!?
1350303
Not a massive time, just a couple weeks or so. :)
I must say I absolutely love this story
Now that I have finally caught up with the story I can begin studying for my test
which is tomorrow...
I hope ur happy
1365172
Oh man, sorry! Seriously, good luck on your test!
I just found out this story was on Fimfiction. Wish I had known earlier, it's not that I dislike reading Gdocs, just most of the stories, particularly the Fallout: Equestria related ones are on this site. Plus you can leave comments here, which I enjoy leaving.
So down to business, well there isn't much more I can really add, I already posted my thoughts about this chapter on your page on DA Fuzzy. I suppose all I can add is that I liked Glimmerlight in this chapter, she really seems to be going downhill emotionally, Cadueceus's death, remembering her past and now learning about her parents deaths is really going to push Glimmerlight's temptations to use Memory Orbs.
Glimmerlight is in essence, bad at coping and change. She can't deal with grief or guilt knowing that she could potentially become like the rest of the vile masses of Fillydelphia or an empty husk going day to day just living.
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It's oddly satisfying being able to round out Glimmer's character a bit more now. Glad it's really beginning to eek its way in now and allow people to see the more complex side of her. I wanted her to be an absolute force of good to offset the depression filled beginning. Now that it's past, it's time for her to begin her own story and character development.
Glad you finally put this story up here, I'm really not a fan of Gdocs. I just like the format on this site a lot more. This is one of my favorite FO:E stories, even though it tends to depress the hell out of me. So many sad stories all swirling about each other. You'd think that if he had an idea of what was going on in the metro, even Red Eye would have a hard time justifying it. Poor Caddy, poor Sunny, poor Unity, poor everybody dammit
The characters are all really well developed, making it even harder to deal with all the terrible things that happen to them. This story makes me feel like there's just never going to be an up turn until the very end, if even then. Murky never thinking about the fact his cutie mark is OPEN shackles is a plot device I sense you are going to use ferociously at some point, but I still get the terrible feeling he's going to die at the end of this.
Keep writing, I love your work, and now that I've favorited this I won't have to dig through EQD posts to find out when you've updated this comment is all over the place, I shouldn't stay up for 60 hours, my brain gets all mushy.
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But staying up for 60+ hours is all part of the fun! :p
Really though, thanks so much for letting me though. Even if I personally prefer GDocs, I realised my own preferenes are, if anything, the minority. So I brought it here just to give options. I've not regretted it, the comment and ratings thing has been awesome to work with and communicate to you guys.
I'm so glad the characters have invested that much for you. I really work hard to give them equal importance to their own stories and to the overarching plot of a little slave in Filly, so to hear people enjoy Sunny, Unity and especially Caduceus (who I wish I'd had another chapter to flesh out) is a real joy. I'll keep working to try to keep the emotions going, for both good and bad, as best I can. The pressure is high after so many people speaking...but frankly I'm loving the challenge of knowing people are holding it to high standards.
You make me has emotions
in the story bro
Today in school we were asked to name someone that inspired us. I said Murky Number Seven because he fights the odds, knows his dream and every step of the way we're all rooting for him. So... thank you for inspiring me
Writing to you here, cuz I don't know where else I could)It took about 18 hours in total to get this battle saddle in more or less working condition, but I've got outline ready. I think I'll color it by tomorrow. Too bad thing like this take about a week to figure out how to draw it.
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Oh wow, I hope it didn't give too much trouble, it is a very subtle design on him after all. Thanks so much for taking so much effort though, I can't wait to see it!
'kay, it's ready and it's over here. I hope I got it right.
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Left a bigger comment on Devart, but. Wow! That's wonderful! Thank you ^^
I've only read the first two chapters, and I mean this in the nicest possible way, but wow, was this story intended to be interpreted as some kind of a Charles Dickens crossover? Not that it's a bad thing, but it does feature a helpless protagonist who seems to suffer endlessly in a story that critiques of the socioeconomic conditions of his surroundings.
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Hahaha, you know you actually cross on an interesting point. Oliver was definitely not outwith the element of inspiration in my head. It is after all the classic tale of such a thing and I'd be a maniac and a downright liar if I said that it didn't hold a large sway in my life and inspiration.
Although I wouldn't say it's TOO much a deliberate effort. Perhaps some of the atmosphere and feel of it. "Where Is Love?" from the musical is a great scene of which I often channel in my mind for writing Murky.
Good spot. The classics are truly where we may learn from and move upwards from.
1435340
Pretty much right, but it all depends on the person. You can tell them to bring folks in alive, but you don't know if they will or not. Murky's view (and instruction) on it, comes from the worse rumours.
God damn it, Murky...
Interesting read as always.
Grammar time:
Seems like two sentences spliced together.
This chapter was such an emotional rollercoaster I could barely handle it. Brimstone beating Shackles in the hoofwrestling match was probably the single most satisfying scene in this entire story so far. But the end of this was so soul crushing, it hurt me physically.
I'm not sure if I should curse you or thank you for this... but what I DO know is that this is a very good story.
Damn it, Murky, hang in there!
How hard would Fallout be if you could actually LOSE Perks, huh?
And nopony congratulates Calamity on taking down Brim? Woo!
Suddenly, a siren began to wail, signalling the alert warning.
You are a wonderful (evil) genius! This chapter was done well to avoid getting too dark. And, don't get me started on the emotions you put me through. That ending, how could you let Murky be taken by him, especially after Arbu and Glimmer? I love this story and I will finish, but can Murky get a little break.
Bucklyn Cross happened before Arbu, not after.
"Going around behind the runway, still littered with old sky chariots lashed to cracking bones, " - . . . Does this mean he kept banging his shins on Sky Chariots? I'm not sure what sentence is saying.
Missing words and other corrections;
"I could barely even struggle while my limbs burned and full of small splinters " *and were?
"Why something as simple as a legend to belief in could be torn away from my very soul like it had " - *believe in
"trying to fight some dread realisation" - dreadED realiZation
"I found that the service stairway led to a door in the side of one a tunnel." - one tunnel
"the closest tunnel to the Ministry was one the same side as my stairwell " - on the same side
"trudging onward on the commands that they had been giving " - *given
"Caduceus didn't die to be forgotten piece by piece until he was nothing but a series of series of chosen moments!" "series of" is written twice
"We stay out the way." - out of the way
"ten feet up and list from the fires of the barrels below." - lit from the fires
Other than all that, a compelling roller coaster of a chapter that makes me think about the very subject of having heroes, especially in the wasteland. Wasteland heroes tend to have a morally dangerous job, resulting in them being morally gray anti-heroes rather than white knights; they do good, bad and questionable. What separates them is that they still do things that show ideals are attainable, Every hero dies, some to bullets and some to corruption. It's okay to be inspired by the good a hero strives for and accomplishes while acknowledging that they are also not perfect. It's the ideals that they fought for and remind us of that matter.
That's all aside from the fact that we as readers know that DJ Pon-3 only has the consequences of these events, and has know idea why they actually happened and just as if not more importantly, how much remorse Littlepip and Calamity feel about having gone too far.
O SHIIIIIT
So much to take in...
The feels cannot be contained!
For anyone who has played Dawn of War as the Chaos faction, the above phrase aught to remind you of the cultists unit, which in turn aught to lead you to the thought that Chainlink Shackles is a Chaos Lord.
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I was looking for a different picture, but then Pinkie wanted me to post this, I guess
twentypercentcooler.net/data/sample/29/5e/295e498ae62ca9b984629cb68f6e9e02.jpg?1324731047