The Cute Mark Scare! Threat Vs. Threat #2! Arrested!
The detective awakened on his friend, the deputy back; it was strange, the last thing he remembers was being neatened by his old friend; he already accepted his fate at that moment; he was going to die from a friend; guess that’s why you shouldn’t trust anypony; same goes for friends.
“What happened?”
The detective yawning as he got up from the ground; he turned his head around to spot he was in the middle of Ponyville; he assumed the deputy brought them there by running because he was out of breath when he awoke. He got up; it felt cold and breezy out; the sound of the wind was mocking them of their defeat. The detective was a little puzzled for a couple of seconds; finally getting his wits back.
“We failed didn’t we?”
The deputy frowned; honestly is the best policy. They did indeed failed, but altogether they felt like they did more better than the other stations did. The new question emerges; how do you stop a monster like that?
“Indeed, you should’ve let me shoot him in the head while the chance was around; it wouldn’t have killed him-!?”
If anything goes into the skull and penetrates the brain; you most likely die; wherein the head did he think he was going to shoot him?
“Perhaps...? I think he was going to teleport and heal at the last second; his reaction time is no joke; so that possibility was high; plus he stilled had confidence on his face like he had a plan; if you would’ve shot; using phycology; I think he would’ve killed you without hesitation?”
The detective regretfully explained to his friend why he stopped him from shooting the assassin; even tho Comber looked vulnerable; he wasn’t, trust me. The detective thought about the station and what to tell them; they obviously can’t tell them about the legendary assassin; he’ll most likely massacre them; up close he didn’t seem capable of murdering an entire station, but on his records, he did more than one station. It’s sad to see a town so cold and empty; because of an assassin; the deputy saw a house burned to the ground; he wondered who did that; Comber didn’t do that; he walked over to it; the detective hearing him walk away and also turned to the direction; he was curious too. He caught p with the deputy; standing by his left side as they look into the ashes; this family had four participates in it; they most likely escaped; well, that’s what the depth thought until the detective hatched a spell from its discovering egg; he was able to piece the scenery back together before it went down.
“You think your old friend responsible for this?”
The deputy asked in disbelief; Comber told him he only kills marked targets and not innocent; plus, he wouldn’t have burned down the houses; there’s no reason for an assassin to do that; also Comber uses a knife to assassinate his victim; not a fire; it’s definitely not Comber; does this mean the true killer is still lurking around. The detective notices another house not too far from here burned to the ground; he shook his head; who’s heinous enough to commit such offenses?
“There’s more than one home burned to as she Commer.”
The deputy pointed a hoof at the next burned home; the same killer is more than cause for that also; the true question is which home burned to ash first; how many more victims died in that home to add to this one?
The detective analysis of ashes in way back cases was very hoofy in this case; it would let him know which burned first. The detective made his way to burned home; almost parallel to this home; the deputy followed of course. The next home smelled worse than the other one; the reason is unclear; the detective searched around the exterior of the home to identify it; maybe it has a sign stating the residence of the house? The deputy picked up a golden safe that was still in the ashes; it was buried under a great pile of ashes; the deputy’s stomach turned when he realized he was probably rooting through the ashes of the residents that live here. The detective knew who home this was; as he made his way back; he pieced it all together; the number of ashes compared to the last home; the sign starting with an R in its identification name; the rest was burned; making it unrecognizable.
“Find any clues yet?”
The deputy asked his friend/co-worker. He knew he did; he found a clue that may also help with identification; it would break the vault open. The detective’s eyes widened when he saw a sparking yellow light; he turned to the shine; finding the now revealed gold safe; this was the crowbar to the identification.
“From the clues, I can conclude this was Rich’s residence. This means it’s most likely not an assassin because they are the richest and would hire them; it was a full-on slaughter.”
---
“That was a great idea fake sleeping to throw Granny Smith off guard; she even took a nap!”
Scootaloo joyed about. They saw Ponyville in an open capsule state; they kinda like the peace it had; they didn’t like how their friends were being looked away; they traveled so far from Sweet Apple Anchors, they were on the west side of Ponyville; this means they are by monstrous threats. They totally forgot why Ponyville was under their beds with their doors looked; some ignored the reason to stay inside, and they died. They just wanted to see what Ponyville is like empty; it’s not pretty; it’s pretty depressing.
“I have a bad feeling about this; the reason we were told must be a lie right?”
Sweetie Belle exclaimed; Ponyville wasn’t doing this for fun; this fog spooked them; the Mane 6 was nowhere to be found; they thought they were the seekers; they thought the entire village was playing a child-like game called hide and seek; this was so inaccurate.
“I reckon they are all playing hide and seek, or has my big sis says; hide the Barrel; not roll out the seek.”
The two friends were confused by Apple Blooms’s last sentence but realized the first sentence was hide and seek. She may have a point? They saw smoke from a distance; they walked towards it; not realizing what to behold under the ash clouds.
“Do you think it’s a big fire?”
This made no sense to the other friends. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were unaware of the danger they’re in; they have been spotted by the murderous killer; he already rushed to their location; he was 150 hoof steps away from him; he closed the gap as his bloodlust increased; so did his speed; he would get them in no time; Sweetie Belle heard the hoof steps coming closer and closer; she tried to remain calm, but decided to warn her friends who were now aware of the that incoming to them; they all turned towards the sound and what they saw made their little hearts drop; this wasn’t such a great idea; maybe he’s going to show them how to chop down a tree? They tried to think of other possibilities he was running towards them like that; maybe he wants to be friends? Maybe he sees the actual murder and is coming to save them? They didn’t think it was a murder; they thought it was a kidnapper. They yelled at the top of their lungs; they screaming only be unheard by the hibernating ponies; however, it wasn’t unheard by the ponies outside.
---
“Ahahah! Help!”
The detective’s ears peaked up and turned around him; he had just discovered what Rich’s we’re massacre in this blaze; it was Diamond Tiara and her Father, Filthy Rich. He put the samples in his bag; turning towards the yelling; it sounded like fillies; his heart dropped when he saw the murderous killer with a hatchet drawn and ready to decapitate; they deputy already heard and ran to them; he wouldn’t make it in time; he stopped and pleaded for his friend to teleport them there now.
“I’m sorry! I would but I can’t; my magic is all gone!”
The detective panic replied; he was going to make this killer pay if he so long harms those fillies; they did nothing to deserve this. The pair knew it was useless to run to the rescue; they didn’t give up; they needed to keep these fillies away from harm. The killer wasn’t that far from them; he was right behind their tails; swinging his hatchet furiously at them; he lost lots of prey, but these he will catch; burn and cook; the thought was yummy.
“You will now... Die!”
The detective trapped; he wasn’t completely healed from his old friend; the deputy stopped to lift him; they can’t save them; the deputy wished he could shoot him, but Comber took all the ammunition and destroyed it. Apple loom fell on her face; the killer with his hatchet drew was ready for the kill; he swung it down; causing the authorities to turn from such a hearts heinous scenery; the yelling stopped as Apple Bloom opened her eyes and saw the hatchet being held back by a knife; one that’s not from around here and is owned by a black colt in a red cape; he heard the screaming and sensed the huge bloodlust being released from the killer; it was sufficient to stop a heart; he needs to be locked away for good. The colt punched the killer in the bottom neck fast; knocking him away with his hatchet that was being held onto by all strength; he won’t lose to this colt again. When the deputy and detective opened their eyes; they saw Apple Bloom running towards her friends; they turned to the killer and their hearts dropped; Comber is here!?
“Come on!”
The detective ran to the scene; being followed by the deputy; they both were now closer to see the two colts; this is some type of cruel punishment right? They are working together?
“Hahaha! I will murder you and those fillies with pleasure!”
Toom said with insanity in his tone; it was clear to the authorities who the true threat was here; Comber really isn’t a threat if he doesn’t have a target and this killer does it for pleasure. Comber put his knife back in his bag; he turned to the killer with an angry disbelief face; how could anypony kill fillies for pleasure?
“You obviously haven’t learned your lesson, have you?”
Comber said throwing his cape and bag aside. The detective saw this as an opportunity to examine the knife more closely; but thought about spells that let ponies protect their belongings and decided it would be a waste to attempt that without his magic; he informed the deputy about this because he knew he was going to ask. Toom charged Comber with his hatchet and swung the hatchet as hard as possible missing Comber on the three shots he took; one was up; the second one was horizontal and the last one was vertical; hitting the ground with lots of force. The Crusaders ran back to Sweet Apple Anchors; where they will confess everything to Granny Smith. The authorities had an objective and it was these two right here. Maybe they will injure each other and leave an opening for them to arrest them both? Comber saw an opening and strikes the killer in the jaw; spin kicking him in the face; this was caught by Toom who was angry and grabbed him by the hoof and quickly slammed him to the ground; Comber mouth opened with pain; Toom ripped his hatchet from the ground and slammed it down at Comber who rolled out of the way; Combed grabbed his weapon from the bag with magic; quickly grasping it in his hoofs. Toom swung at Comber again and tried again before Comber kicked him in the joint; knocking him to on one hoof; quickly recovering and striking Comber with lots of force; kicking him away;
(”How did this killer get so-!”)
Comber ducked and evade the flying hatchet; phew... That could’ve been a decapitation if it landed. It hit into a home; almost hitting a pony inside sleeping; he slept through the racket; none of the others would’ve. His room was cozy; with a warm fire right next to him with a chimney; wooden tables in the room and a sound to put you asleep with ease.
“Think we should act?”
The deputy asked; thinking the time is best now.
“No, not yet; you know we can’t arrest Comber right? If this goes the way I think; Comber knocking him unconscious; we can arrest him.”
The detective said; keeping his eyes on the battle at the front of their faces.
Comber knocked one hoof to its side and strikes him in the face; Toom wasn’t stunned by this and attacked again; hitting Comber in the nose; Comber blinked from this; his teeth biting together; he had enough and Dodge the next attacked and struck him very hard in the face; he flew to the ground; Comber jumping and stomping on his stomach with lots of force; giving the killer a mouth full of blood. Comber started to walk away when Toom got up and swallowed his blood; it tasted good and ran to his hatchet and grabbed it; he was going to kill this cocky colt. Toom charged at Comber who turned his eyes to the back of his head; this killer doesn’t learn; Comber focus all of his strength in one hoof; he waited for the right moment; dodging the hit with perfect evasion; in slow motion; he hit the colt in the right side of his jaw; the force caused a gust of wind to explode around them; kicking him next; causing him to fly into a stand unconscious. The deputy and detective came out of hiding and saw Comber already looking at them. Comber teleported closer to them looking at them narrowly; it would seem he is going to kill them; but this thought went up in flames when Comber grabbed his bag and his knife; putting them back to their original positions. He put the cape on himself and decided to speak to them.
“I’m not here to cause problems; I knew you were there at the beginning of the battle; it wasn’t that hard, but you should know he’s more of a threat than I am to this town.”
Comber explains with a prideful stance. Comber was right about that. Why did he saved those fillies though; was it to prove he’s not evil to them?
“You saved those filled Comber; why did you do that?”
Comber expression became less intense; he knew they wouldn’t believe the truth, but the shot is worth it.
“I did it because they are young and are not in the wrong; I can’t let an innocent pony die around; especially a filly.”
The deputy didn’t believe a single word that came out of his mouth; the detective I b the other hand did; he remembered when Comber saved that handicapped student at lunchtime; he fought a whole table of bullies; sending them to the hospital; he was suspended for a week and a half; it was only four days after the cameras recorded Comber heroic actions.
“You’re lying you, faker!”
The deputy yelled at the assassin; believing him to be a deceiver; he tricked the Mane 4; he fooled the residents of this village; but not them.
“My friend; he’s not lying.”
Pushing the deputy’s hoof pointing at Comber in anger away. Comber smiled at them; realizing the detective knew him in high school; he defended the victims of bullying; he was mercilessly a judge to those who bully; you’re here to learn and get an education; not make others suffer. The deputy thought his friend was going to join his old friend and remove him as a friend; this thought was shredded as Comber dropped his smile.
“He’s not lying; you know how?”
The deputy asked; finally about to be revealed about the detective’s high school life.
“I knew him in high school friend.”
This was a huge surprise to the deputy; how come he never told him about this huh? Was their friendship still alive? Or is it dead?
“Was he a bad student?”
The deputy rudely asked. He really doesn’t like Comber for some reason? He would’ve gotten those fillies murdered if he didn’t show up. Maybe he felt guilty? Conner was interested to hear the detective’s answer to that question also; was he a bad student in personality or grades or both?
“He wasn’t dumb; obviously you can see that. He was a colt who handle the bullies when they got physical with the victim; especially that one time when a bully was picking on a handicapped pony; if Comber wants he could tell you?”
Comber smirked; the smirk fading away fast as it came. So why were they out here anyway? I’m sure they’ll ask the same question Comber would ask?
“Indeed I did. Do you plan to arrest me; I should say attempt; just boosting your confidence.”
The deputy really hated this colt; his ego is too large for such nasty offenses.
“You’ll pay one day; but today isn’t that day!”
Comber smiled with a question in his head: when?
“When do you think I will be arrested; you seriously hypnotizing yourself if you think you or any other authority in this peace-loving town can do it?”
Comber stuck the fuse with water; causing a class C fire.
“You will if the whole station gained up to arrest you!”
The deputy knew he was lying to himself; he just needed to yell something back at this monster.
“Try it.”
This was it for the deputy; Comber clam, the cocky attitude was enough to make anyone very angry and now prepare for the explosion.
“You are a monster who enjoys the suffering of others!”
Comber wanted to laugh at the deputy but knew he would get angrier and possibly make a dumb decision in this town. He responded with a normal tone and face.
“I think you mixed me up with that colt in those bushes?”
The deputy got angrier; he calmed down and decided to spill the beans on the situation he’s in; he needs to know the guilt he made this town feel.
“Why did you kill Fluttershy and the Pies!?”
Comber smirked; making the depot step closer to him; he will attempt to arrest him if he says another ignorant thing to them.
“I didn’t... You are full of accusations.”
The deputy and detective knew he was lying; his knife is the complete evidence for the crimes. It like you stole the filter from a vacuum cleaner and had it in your home; you claim you had it from your old one, but it fits the one that was stolen; this was the last brand of that vacuum cleaner; so how do you have that and not the cleaner? You are also known to be a thief.
“My old dear friend, you are guilty of those crimes and you know it; truly you do believe you are not guilty right?”
Comber got annoyed by the detective but decided to respond with a similar answer; one that is heard too many times.
“You are guilty of false accusations; you can’t convict me with no evidence; this really doesn’t matter; you’ll get the same answer every time friend.”
Comber replied with a grin; the deputy had enough he killed them and now he must know who they were; what importance were they; how they helped the citizens of Ponyville out.
“It’s time for you to know what damage you are done you monster! Fluttershy was a kind Pegasus who wouldn’t harm even a monster; instead, she’ll tame it; teach it better; raise it. She helped fillies get their talents in animal care; she was too one of them! The Pies made rocks for fillies! You’re a cruel, monster for killing them!”
The deputy had to take in a breath; before looking at an unfazed colt who knows he did wrong by the look he gives next, but won’t admit it. They had their reasons to die; a client doesn’t pay that amount of bits to put a target on their heads. Conner turned away from making his way to the graveyard; his horn illuminated and caused a bright flash; making him disappear. The deputy calmed down; as he the detective suggested a coffee; the reason he didn’t tell the deputy to stop is that he knew his soul wouldn’t be content without letting Comber know about his wrongs.
(”Oh Celestia! Wait!”)
The detective reminded the deputy of Toom; they walked over to where his body was and it was still breathing; he was still alive and needed to be arrested quick; the deputy grabbed his faucet from his hoof and gave it to the detective who will examine this tool. He put the unconscious insane murderous colt on his back; with a quick gaze at the sky and then at the detective; he looked at the detective who put the hatchet in his bag; he was happy to have additional work; most colts wouldn’t be. They both decided to head to the coffee shop after putting the killer behind bars; he’ll need help from the other detective to count the amount of victims slaughter; he knows he can do it; he can do anything. They made their way to the station; as fast as possible; they still had bruises; but if anything, they could blame it on this colt. The station can not know about Comber; they are needed; I think they would just make the town be under high alert and shut down; due to his record. They will be there soon.
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.... Well you fix this fic a lot don't you? But again, still too edgy and that assassin can count as a "Mary-Sue" if you keep writting like this.
P/S: don't delete comment because it make you eat more tomatoes. I know one author like that and he quit because these tomatoes
Why does this story have so many dislikes? I mean, it can't be that bad, right? ...Right?
10844616
Sorry it is very bad. I can tell you why?
10844627
Please do. I’m most curious.
10844695
While I read all of the chapter. The author just focus on the main 6 but not pay any attention to the assassin. That make me have 5 Wh- questions about this assassin. And if the author still don't explain this assassin, I marked him as a "Mary sue"
10840123
Are they haters or people who are seeing problems with the product that you’re not?
10844695
Oh wait your "the Lost Elements" is an overrated fic too. ( Sorry to say this)
10844718
I can’t please everyone, so I won’t bother to try.
Whatever I write, I at least take comfort in respecting and preserving the original message of the source material. It’s the best any Mlp fan can strive for.
10844728
strive for writting something about the 7th Elements is superior than other Elements right?
10844941
I don’t recall ever entertaining that notion in my work, though I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s a common cliche in other stories that pursue the 7th element trope.
10844946
Yep. And..*sign*many of the 7th Elements is a freaking fixfic. And you know fixfic will lead another problem right?
10844968
Fixfics need to be handled carefully. They shouldn’t be simply used as soapboxes.
10844990
I rather write ALT not fixfic. All of fixfic I read be like.... Let see:
Step 1 : "draw" an OC: can be any species, specific OC is better
Step 2: give the OC have 7th Elements and make it more specific than others
Step 3: "kill" Spike the dragon.
step 4: enjoy the life.
Easy right? Especially "kill" Spike the dragon is the easiest part. That why they all garbarge.
10844994
.....seriously?
10844999
Yep. I never tell joke with the topic like this. And I surpised that these kind of fic is written a lot in these days
10845000
Too many writers on this site just aren’t that good to begin with. Or they just don’t know better.
10845003
Or they just wanna influences the stories. Oh my god( if I follow any religion), 7th Elements is ok IF they not more important than other. But "kill" a main character is not ok now.
10845004
Exactly. The 7th Element trope easily falls under Sturgeon’s Law with most using it for its own sake without considering the context on how it would mesh with the original set.
10845005
Wanna some example? I will give you an overrated fixfic and a "ratio shutdown" fic
10845010
What even is that second one?
10845290
Ah I will give you example :
Overrated :https://www.fimfiction.net/story/7112/a-new-hero
Bad fic but rating is shutdown
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/191317/blaze-the-pony-tale
10845306
The cover arts alone feel like a warning sign.
10845314
Aye. I have to buy a lot of canned beer to calm the hell down while reading it.
10845314
I give you this for entertainment if you got raged out.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/201778/rage-reviews/thread/183779/rage-review-of-a-new-hero-chapters-1-65-updated-12-3-2015
10845329
Oh dear... Not that I disagree with the guy, but he could've done without the butchered Old English shtick.
10845351
I'm good because he act like Luna on that review. And you know act like Luna quite hard right?
10845351
Hey I'm give you a gift :3
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/201778/rage-reviews/thread/92948/rage-review-the-lost-element
10845814
I’m aware of it. The fact that it has less than 20 comments while the former has more than 7 pages worth probably says more about what The Lost Element is like today than it was when the last comment was made in 2014. I’ve improved since then and even gone back to revise and edit the first two volumes as best as I could. 2014 was not when my skills were at their best and I certainly respect any criticisms over the earliest developments. I could have done better had I written them today.
10845856
All right. I'm just messing with you :). Anyway, how you feel about that two fics that I give you?
10845916
I’m hesitant to read them, honestly.
10845928
Well, I talk to the authors of second fic but ... He the thing is not so good while he is trying to "kill" Spike but he denied.Maybe he is " killing" that dragon without notice what is he doing.
P/S: he write that fic in 4 -5 years ( idk though), some investment because I see art in there.(damn I wish I have money). But still.... Shit
10845290
I just saw these comments; Jesus they piled up without me knowing; thanks for your feedback. The assassin will be more revealed in later chapters; the mane 6 are the protagonist of this story; the antagonist is the two black colts. In the end, let me know what you think?
10844489
Mary Sue; Jesus' mother?
10844489
I won't quit because of tomatoes friend. I do like your respect you give, some people aren't this way and just advise for the story to be taken down; which won't happen.
10844713
What problems can they see? Sure spelling mistakes or grammer errors. But the owner is working hard to fix those errors. All im saying it dosent desrve all the hate its getting for no reason.
10856209
I believe hate my friend. It's on all my stories that are different; one made to be humorous. I honestly believe hate.
10856217
*Death when finish writting a chapter* you are very tough right? But can you please change the cover. It litterally black blank for the reader
10856209
I definitely believe its nothing more then hate. If not, what is wrong with this story to get so much dislikes?
10856239
Listen, man, experience matters when master not how long; I respect people who writes stories that long, 8 1/2 years, Jesus, but don't use you have more experience to get the upper hand man, only valued when mastered.