Nerds Being Silly
A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake
Excerpt 2: Nerds Being Silly
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen any “medicine” with that shade of green,” Moon Dancer quipped as Tom presented Flim and Flam’s Tonic.
“Yeah, well, our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to find out what’s this stuff made of. Doesn’t matter if it looks like liquefied grass or not,” Tom pointed out.
“Spike, could you grab my Bunsen burner and a few beakers and stands?” Twilight requested of the dragonling.
“Aye, aye, Twilight!” Spike replied eagerly and went down to the basement to grab the equipment.
“Well, first things first. Over the lips, past the gums, look out stomach, here it comes!” Tom took a swig of the concoction before either of the mares could stop him. Twilight and Tom both paused as the taste washed over his tongue.
“Is it really that simple?” Tom asked bewildered.
“Flim and Flam wouldn’t put any more effort into this than strictly necessary. It might just be that simple,” Twilight pointed out.
“Moon Dancer, take a sip of this and tell us if we’re crazy,” Tom offered her the bottle.
“I can already tell you’re crazy just because you drank an unknown mixture,” Moon Dancer deadpanned, but took a sip anyway, “Is that just…apple juice and beet leaves?”
“That’s what I thought too! I mean, we’ll still have to test it for any additives, but it tastes like just squeezed apple juice and beet leaves,” Tom exclaimed.
“I don’t think it has any additives, except maybe some vitamin supplements. You forget, Tom, pony taste is a lot stronger than what you’ve told me human taste is like. Most of what you people put in your food wouldn’t fly in Equestria,” Twilight observed.
“How to know you’ve been in a pony body too long: you forget what things taste like as a human,” Tom sulked.
Spike came back up the stairs and after a small amount of testing they discovered it was indeed just apple juice and beet leaves. Not a single extra ingredient was added.
“You know, I’m almost impressed by the sheer audacity the Flim Flam Brothers have. Trying to sell such common items as a cure-all that all of Equuis has been looking for since the dawn of time,” Moon Dancer remarked.
“I suppose we should just tell AJ what’s in it and be done with it,” Twilight sighed.
“You know, maybe this is just my inner pyro talking, but it’d be a shame to put the Bunsen burner and stuff away after we just brought it up here,” Tom commented casually.
“What are you suggesting?” Moon Dancer asked.
“Well, I don’t know about you girls, but chemistry has always been one of my favorite fields of science. What say you we “improve” Flim and Flam’s little drink?” Tom proposed.
“Sure, what the heck? I’m game,” Twilight shrugged.
“I mean, it wouldn’t be hard, but when you say ‘improve’ what do you mean?” Moon Dancer questioned.
“We start with a base of apple juice and beet leaves. Then we just throw whatever we feel like into the pot, see if anything happens,” Tom replied.
“You just want to see something blow up, don’t you?” Spike accused.
“I will neither confirm nor deny any accusations of that nature,” Tom answered with a smirk.
It was a simple matter to pull out a large cauldron and apply a proper heating cantrip to it so soon it was half full of simmering apple juice and beet leaves. The group spent the time it took for the liquid to reach a simmer gathering other ingredients. They also gathered gas masks, just in case they got too exuberant in their fun.
“So, do we just throw everything in, or what?” Spike asked.
“Silly Spike, we’ve gotta put things in one by one or it’s gonna spill everywhere. Now, what should we put in first?” Tom inquired.
“I vote we put in the carrot juice first,” Twilight opined.
“Why?” Moon Dancer asked.
“I mean, if we’re just here to have fun anyway, why not start with the carrot juice?” Twilight asked.
“She has a point Moon Dancer,” Tom remarked as he poured in the carrot juice.
“OK, if we’re abandoning all rhyme and reason, then throw in some sulfur next!” Moon Dancer insisted and Tom added it to the pot.
“Goat’s milk!”
“Potassium!”
“Spike, add a handful of bay leaves!”
“Molasses!”
“Sulfuric acid!”
“Oats!”
“Are you two just hungry?” Moon Dancer asked with arched eyebrow as Tom poured in a few cups of oats.
“Maybe,” Both admitted before Twilight started giggling.
“Didn’t your mothers ever tell you not to do science on an empty stomach?” Moon Dancer teased.
“I thought that was never shop on an empty stomach?” Tom snarked as he threw in some crushed white peppercorns.
“To be fair, I think a lot of things are done less optimally when hungry,” Twilight commented as she directed Spike to add tomato juice.
“After this, we eat!” Tom announced as he added red food coloring.
“You know, I don’t think we’re getting into the spirit of this experiment,” Twilight said with a thoughtful look.
“What do you suggest?” Tom wondered as he added some mayo.
“Does your world have Frankenstein?” Twilight asked with a growing grin.
“Oh, I like where this is going,” Moon Dancer snarked.
“There is indeed a novel by that name back on Earth. So we go full Dr. Frankenstein?” Tom was almost vibrating with excitement.
“IGOR, FETCH US THE SUGAR, SPICE, AND EVERYTHING NICE!” Twilight shouted by way of answering.
“At once, my master!” Moon Dancer snickered in a terrible accent.
“Igor 2, fetch us the butterfly wings!” Tom ordered.
“Does this mean my brain is gonna get transplanted into the monster?” Spike asked.
“Dragon parts are sure to be valuable,” Twilight mused.
“MUHAHAH! IGOR, FETCH ME THE SALTPETER!” Tom laughed evilly.
“YES, MY MASTER!” Moon Dancer cried out.
“THOSE FOOLS WILL RUE THE DAY THEY CALLED ME MAD!” Twilight crowed.
“Nope,” The trio turned just in time to see Applejack slam the door shut. They all broke down laughing after that.
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lol... break between books i take it? fair... liked the chapter btw. :D
10329372
Yeah, there are just a couple of things that didn't fit into the story proper that are either funny or help flesh out the characters. So I'm throwing them in as excerpts as the fancy strikes me. I'm stuck between trying to force myself to take a break between books to keep from burning out and still wanting to write. This is my compromise.
you having fun writing the things you didnet think would fit at first? it seems you are having fun? continue having fun you have earned it!
10329378
if it works. lol
maybe write your ideas down, instead of writing actual chapters? or outlines at least? compromise a bit with yourself. breaks aren't a bad thing though...
Well, it was funny, now let's see if any of them dare to drink the 'potion'
I gotta ask, Tom and Twilight have already confirmed that they're not romantically interested in each other. Would the bond between them be more akin to brother and sister?
I'm hoping Tom becomes a male Twilight Sparkle aka Dusk Shine in the sequel ; Twilight did express an interest in a twin
10329437
Tom and Twilight's relationship is very much like that of siblings.
As for the question of Tom's masculinity...
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/405/493/146.jpg_large
Truer words were seldom spoken.
I always doubted the veracity of the "shopping while hungry" maxim, until I went to the store thirsty one day and came home with four gallons of fruit juice.
10329563
For me it was when I went grocery shopping for my parents and I had to skip breakfast because I overslept. (shocking given my usual insomnia). So I wound up with waaaaay more food than they could eat before it went bad.
Lol
Wow
10329446
I don't see that angle too often. Twilight & male human OCs tend to have either a friendly or romantic bond, so a sibling bond between them seems to be on the uncommon side.
...Wasn't this the creation of the Powerpuff Girls? Sugar, spice, "everything nice", and Chemical X?
Though I don't know how "everything nice" resulted in the green one being aggressive and violent, compared to her nicer sisters...
10334881
Actually 'sugar, spice, and everything nice' was part of a nursery rhyme that first featured in 1820. The nursery rhyme itself is actually titled "What are Little Boys Made of"
What are little boys made of?
What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails
And puppy-dogs' tails
That's what little boys are made of
What are little girls made of?
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice
And everything nice [or "all things nice"]
That's what little girls are made of
Personally, I always felt that it was mental genders that mattered for that rule (though He wouldn't make a mistake of having someone born into the "wrong" physical gender). Means that the Doctor example would be unaffected, as would any cases where gender changing (willing or otherwise) was involved. Monogender would be trickier to explain though... Maybe there, mental gender is still a thing, just not immediately identifiable by biology? IDK.
P.S. How is there no "shrug" emoticon to choose from? This would've been the perfect time to use it!
This chapter reminds me of the South Park episode with "Butters' Creamy Goo"
Randy: swigs creamy goo "This is cum"
10407219
I don't watch South Park, so I can't comment either way.