Rocky Relations
A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake
Chapter 29: Rocky Relations
“Welcome back,” Moon Dancer greeted as Tom and Twilight entered Golden Oaks for the first time in days. Tom slumped down onto the ground.
“It’s good to be back. Merciful Hades, if I had to spend another minute in Canterlot I might’ve just lost my mind,” Tom complained.
“That bad huh?” Spike asked as he went about his daily chores.
“Everyone except Fancy Pants and Celestia were treating the whole thing as a life or death matter. Didn’t matter what I had to say on the matter. It’s not like Twilight was half of the supposed couple or anything. For the sake of my continued sanity I finally just made a press statement with Celestia’s help and got out,” Tom confessed.
“For you to have continued sanity, you need to have had it in the first place,” Twilight snarked. She had been getting increasingly snarky as their stay in Canterlot progressed. Tom presumed it was because she was back to being trapped the whole time. With that in mind Tom summoned the body double.
“So, we had a bit of an event while you two were gone,” Moon Dancer revealed.
“Oh? Tell us please,” Twilight requested.
So Moon Dancer told them all about the Breezies and how they had tried to take advantage of Fluttershy. Spike also felt compelled to tell them that he was the one who had accidentally knocked the leaf into the Breezies’ path. They also learned that the Breezies had sworn loyalty to the Changelings.
“So not only was there a mass crossing of cute beings through Ponyville that we missed, but we also missed political intrigue and the chance to roast them alive for abusing Fluttershy’s kindness? Man, you guys get all the fun,” Tom couldn’t keep a straight face while he said all that. Twilight just rolled her eyes.
“So, now that you’re back, what’s on the agenda?” Moon Dancer asked.
“I think in a day or two we’ll be ready to start preliminary testing on that cloning spell. That should be when the next letter from Dr. Cell arrives,” Twilight answered. Dr. Stem Cell had been immensely helpful with sharing his research over the past few weeks.
“Everyone quick, I need all hooves on deck! Sugar Cube Corner, NOW!” Suddenly Pinkie came bursting in through the door. She snatched up Spike and was out the door before anyone could stop her.
“Well, let’s go rescue Spike from whatever fresh madness awaits,” Tom said while rising from his position on the floor. Moon Dancer followed and they met all the usual suspects heading to Sugar Cube Corner as well.
“Anyone have any idea what’s got Pinkie even more hyper than usual?” Chrysalis asked as they stood outside the door to Sugar Cube.
Before anyone had the chance to answer, Pinkie threw open the door and threw everyone inside. There they found mountains of what seemed to be rock candy in various colors and Spike was already munching on some.
“I’m glad you all could make it! I need help taste testing this rock candy!” Pinkie explained.
“Pinkie, dear, this much candy seems excessive, even for you,” Rarity commented. Pinkie smiled sheepishly.
“Well…I did kinda go a little overboard. One of my sisters, Maud, is visiting and she loves rock candy, so I wanted to make the perfect batch for her,” Pinkie told the group.
“Shoot, if it’s fer family, then I don’t mind helpin’ out,” Applejack said as she took a bit of rock candy and started eating it.
“I agree with Applejack, if it’s for family, why didn’t you just say so?” Chrysalis too took to the candies, followed by Pharynx who would later insist that he had only done so on his Queen’s orders, not that she had given any.
Half an hour later and everyone was feeling pretty sick of rock candy.
“Everyone ready for more?” Pinkie asked as she carted in a bin full of more rock candy.
“My teeth hurt,” Rainbow complained followed by groans of agreement from several others. Even Tom, who had stuck to only one or two pieces of each flavor, was feeling slightly queasy.
“Don’t you have to go pick up yer sister at the station about now anyway?” Applejack asked.
“But we’ve only finished 4/5ths of all the flavors and we have to find the perfect one for Maud so I can make enough of that flavor!” Pinkie shouted before hastily downing the bin she had just brought in.
“Pinkie, she’s your sister. I’m sure she’ll love whatever you bring her,” Twilight comforted the slightly panicked mare, “And I’m pretty sure you have more than enough of whatever flavor Maud takes a liking to. She’s only staying for a week, right?”
“It’s not just for Maud, silly, I’m making candy for all of us!” Pinkie chirped happily. A great groan rose up from the entire group. Even Coco voiced her displeasure. Pinkie then went on to explain the Pie family tradition of making rock candy necklaces for super close friends. Somehow no one was surprised to learn the Pie family recipe for rock candy included real rocks.
“How do you eat them if the secret ingredient is rocks?” Rainbow asked.
“They’re not just any type of rock; they’re a special rock that Maud discovered!” Pinkie explained.
“What kind of rock are they?” Fluttershy asked.
“I can’t tell you that, it’s a secret!” Pinkie said before patting Fluttershy on the head. Geology had never been Tom’s thing, but now he had to admit to some curiosity over those rocks too, “Now that Maud is off to get her Roctorate in Rock Science, this may be our last chance to trade rock candy necklaces for a really long time!”
“Roctorate?” Tom asked blankly.
“Tia and a few geologists thought they were being clever,” Luna replied.
“I can’t wait for you all to meet her! I’m sure my Ponyville friends and my best sister friend are going to become bestest friends!” Pinkie cried while bouncing around.
“I suddenly feel jinxed. Does anyone else feel jinxed?” Moon Dancer snarked. Pinkie then started extolling the virtues of her sister, listing off reasons why they’d all get along swimmingly.
“Well, if our merry band of misfits can get along, I doubt there’s anything that’d stop Maud from being a part of it,” Rainbow quipped.
“Shouldn’t the train be arriving right about now?” Coco asked quietly. Pinkie’s eyes bugged out and she bolted away at top speed.
“So, should we do something to greet her? Go to the train station or make a poor imitation of a ‘welcome to Ponyville’ party?” Twilight wondered.
“I reckon I have an idea,” Applejack then laid out her plan of having a massive picnic. No one had any objections, so they all dispersed to collect food and drinks before reconvening near the lake. Rarity was last to arrive, wearing a hat studded in what appeared to be large chunks of clear quartz.
“What’s with the hat?” Rainbow asked.
“Once must always make a fashionable first impression,” Rarity sighed, “But I couldn’t think of anything related to rocks on such short notice. I could’ve have used gems, of course, but I wasn’t sure how that would come across, so I settled for quartz.” As she said this, a piece of quartz fell off her hat and into a basket of muffins Applejack had brought. Before Rarity could attempt to fix her hat, Pinkie Pie appeared.
“We’re here!” How Pinkie had learned of their location was a mystery, but one did not dwell on the mysteries of the Pie. Pinkie pronked towards her friends.
“Where’s Maud?” Twilight asked.
“She’s right behind me!” Pinkie promised and everyone gathered to wait for Maud. Eventually Maud crested the hill, but when Pinkie said Maud wasn’t as fast as she was, she hadn’t been kidding. Maud’s pace was a slow, steady walk, the exact opposite of her sister’s energetic pronking. When she finally reached the group, she bent down to sniff at a rock before declaring it a sedimentary rock.
“You can tell that just from smell?” Tom was reasonably impressed. If he didn’t have a reference book next to him, he couldn’t tell the difference between the three kinds of rock.
“I love rocks,” Maud declared in her monotone voice, as if that explained everything. Considering she was sisters with Pinkie that might just be the case.
“Oh look, the Pies have been doubled,” Luna quipped. The Elements all displayed varying levels of mirth at that. The rest just assumed it was an inside joke.
“Right, let’s all introduce ourselves,” Twilight suggested, “How about in order of age?” So introductions started with Luna and ended with Spike.
“Pleased to meet you all,” Maud said once they were finished.
“Hey, do you study just rocks or do you study gems too?” Spike asked.
“Rocks are my passion, but gems are nice too,” Maud answered.
“Glad ya’ll could make it ‘afore you headed off to school. Pinkie really cares about ya and it means the world to her that yer here,” Applejack told the elder Pie sister. A small smile graced her normally stoic visage.
“Pinkie is wonderful,” Even through her monotone the love she felt for her sister was clear. One didn’t need to be a Changeling to see that.
“Hey everyone, let’s have at that picnic! I’m so glad everyone’s getting along!” Pinkie cheered as she scooped up a muffin and started chowing down. Everyone else joined her to start eating. Maud almost instantly found the quartz Rarity had accidentally dropped into the muffin basket and took a large bite out of it.
“Oh, are you OK?!” Fluttershy was first to exclaim. Maud continued to chew the quartz, utterly unconcerned. She swallowed before replying.
“I love rocks,” Everyone had enough experience with Pinkie that, to be honest, they may have been more shocked if Maud had been completely ordinary.
“So, Maud, what do you do for fun?” Rainbow asked. Maud reached into a pocket and pulled out a small rock.
“This is my pet rock, Boulder, we play camouflage, which is like hide and seek, but way more intense,” Fluttershy seemed a little weirded out by the pet rock for some reason, but Luna thought that reaction was a bit silly. She herself had had a pet rock when she was just a filly. It brought back memories of simpler times. What didn’t bring back memories of simpler times was the game of camouflage.
It was a basic game on the surface. Maud would hide Boulder in a field of rocks and everyone else would have to find him. Actually finding him was extremely difficult. The Changelings had refused to help, saying that their ability to find a rock suffused with love in a field of regular rocks would defeat the purpose.
However, the Changelings were able to help in a different way: by serving as inspiration to Luna, Twilight, Moon Dancer, and Tom. Together they were able to devise a way to scan each rock for latent psyonic energy. It still took them all plus Rarity fifteen minutes to find Boulder but, instead of a task of hours of fruitless search, it was an easily manageable task.
“You found him,” It was hard to tell, but Maud seemed mildly surprised.
The picnic finished amiably about an hour later and everyone returned to their homes. The next few days were quite interesting, as Pinkie wanted Maud to have some one on one time with her friends. Unfortunately, not everyone was able to do so. Chrysalis had finally given into the inevitable and was making plans to visit the Crystal Empire. Luna was going along as equal parts body guard and babysitter. So while they prepared for that, they didn’t have the time to spend with Maud.
Fluttershy was able to enjoy some tea with her, alongside Thorax, who had been visiting at the time. Thorax was able to admit to himself that he found Maud odd and disconcerting, but she was nice enough, he supposed. Even if she was obsessed with rocks. Although, that got Thorax wondering what it would be like to take up a hobby for himself.
Applejack’s time with Maud was best described as ‘messy’. She was in the middle of getting ready for cider season next month and Maud had somehow taken peel to mean smash with a rock. When asked, Maud had just said that the insides were now out, so there shouldn’t be a problem. Applejack decided to move her to applesauce duty after that.
Twilight, Tom, Spike, and Moon Dancer were all treated to Maud’s long list of poetry. Some found it more enjoyable than others, but they were all willing to listen. Tom probably got the most enjoyment out of it. He enjoyed literature of all kinds and Shel Silverstein was probably one of his favorite poets, even if he was accused of being a hipster for it more than once.
Poor Rarity had probably the worst time dealing with Maud. Their fashion senses were simply incompatible. Coco had to suppress some giggles watching Rarity nearly tear her mane out over Maud taking a liking to a dish rag. Coco personally found Maud’s fashion sense…refreshing. It was utterly devoid of the pretenses that plagued a lot of the fashion industry. Even Coco and Rarity weren’t immune to it. Maud didn’t have no fashion sense, as Rarity was probably thinking to herself at that moment. The cloth Maud had chosen matched her coat and eyes fairly well, even if it was just a dish rag.
Rainbow Dash had no idea what she was getting herself into when she was challenged by Maud to a rock throwing contest. She just picked up the biggest rock she thought she could handle, and hurled it using all the might her wings could give her. She was pretty impressed with herself up until Maud threw her rock, which was twice the size and went so far beyond the horizon that all that was left to tell it had landed at all was a mushroom cloud of all things far off in the distance. Rainbow still didn’t know how a rock that size created a shockwave big enough to cause a tidal wave in the small lake they had been throwing by, but the evidence was dripping off of her.
“I guess you win this one, Maud,” Rainbow congratulated.
“I’m not really into ‘winning’,” Suddenly up was down, left was right, and public speaking was afraid of Fluttershy. How could someone not like winning?! It went against everything Rainbow knew to be true! After that, Rainbow just wandered off in a daze of incomprehension.
Later Pinkie gathered up the group, sans Chrysalis and Luna, and told them it was time to make the best friend rock necklaces. Everyone got kind of uncomfortable at that. Pinkie may play dumb sometimes, but she could be very observant.
“What’s wrong everyone? Aren’t you excited to make the best friend rock necklaces?!” Pinkie asked excitedly. No one really wanted to burst Pinkie’s bubble, so AJ shoved Tom to the front.
“Some friend you are!” Tom hissed back at AJ before facing Pinkie, “Now, Maud is a nice enough mare, don’t get it twisted. However, I don’t think any of us are at the ‘best friend’ stage yet. I’m certainly not. We’ve only known each other for a few days and barely three hours in total. The only thing I know about her is she likes rocks and she likes making poetry about rocks. I hate to say it, but not every friendship is built on such shallow grounds. Some take more time and more experience with each other,” Tom cringed inside as he watched Pinkie deflate a little more with every word. At the end, her mane had gone flat and she withdrew into Sugar Cube Corner.
“Well, that was awful,” Twilight remarked.
“I feel like I just kicked Fluttershy’s puppy,” Tom groaned before turning to give the stink eye to Applejack, “I am not impressed with that little stunt you pulled, AJ.”
“Someone had to do it,” Applejack pointed out.
“You could have asked!” Tom insisted.
“Would you have done it?” Applejack asked.
“That is a strong maybe. Doesn’t change the fact of what you did,” Tom continued to glare daggers at AJ.
“Alright, Ah’m sorry,” Applejack apologized. That freed up the group to continue feeling bad about not living up to Pinkie’s expectations with no distractions.
“Maybe we should’ve pretended we were best friends with Maud?” Fluttershy suggested.
“That would’ve blown up in our faces real quick,” Moon Dancer remarked, “Deceptions like that require everyone be on board and I don’t think Maud would’ve gone along with it.”
“Quite right, darling. I think in this case honesty is the best policy, even if it hurts,” Rarity agreed. Tom thought it was fine and dandy of them to be talking about honesty now after he had been the one force to break the bad news, but he let it go. Then there was a knock on the door.
“Still a public library!” Tom shouted at the door, but he opened it nonetheless and there stood Pinkie, looking happy as ever.
“I’ve come up with just the thing to bring everyone closer together!” Pinkie exclaimed and she pronked around the library. Every one of them suddenly got a sinking feeling. They followed Pinkie anyway and soon discovered the crazy mare had built some kind of obstacle course.
“I call it the PinkieRainbowSpikeRariCocoTwiAppleTomFlutterDancerMaud Fun Time!” Pinkie explained.
“And that isn’t a mouthful,” Spike snarked.
“It combines everyone’s interests into one giant activity that we can all enjoy together and it will totally bring all of my bestest friends together as bestestest friends!” Pinkie cheered at her great idea, “You’ll need these.” Pinkie pointed to what looked to be safety equipment.
“What are we even supposed to do?” Rainbow asked. So Pinkie geared up and showed them all the parts that were supposed to represent what each of them loved. Moon Dancer wasn’t the only one who thought it was a bit shallow to reduce their interests into a singular thing or activity, but she wasn’t of a mind to say it out loud.
“Pinkie, what’s that last one?” Twilight asked, pointing to a very dangerous looking pile of rocks. Actually, it looked like they were about to avalanche any moment.
“It’s a rock slide of course! For Maud,” Pinkie answered happily, “First you climb then you slide!”
“I feel like we should stop her before she gets hurt,” Applejack muttered.
“I agree with you, but what are we gonna do? Tie her to a chair until Maud leaves? Have you tried stopping Pinkie from doing something she wants to do?” Rainbow asked. Rainbow had tried once and swore never again. They all just had to pray that Pinkie knew what she was doing and that the rock slide wasn’t half as dangerous as it looked.
No sooner than the words were out of Rainbow’s mouth than Pinkie got her hoof stuck in the rocks and her struggling to free herself caused an avalanche. The largest boulder at the top came plummeting straight down at Pinkie.
Before Tom or Moon Dancer could so much as finish crafting a teleportation matrix to save Pinkie, Maud had moved at super pony speed to reach Pinkie and smash the boulder into dust with her bare hooves! To say the rest were dumbfounded would be an understatement. Maud then freed Pinkie by easily smashing the rock trapping her and carrying her down the rock pile.
“Pinkie, what were you thinking?!” Maud asked her voice full of worry for her younger sister as she hugged the pink party pony.
“I guess I wasn’t…” Pinkie said ashamedly.
“I know how important it is to you that your friends become my friends, but these things happen in their own time and sometimes it doesn’t happen at all. You can’t always fix everything with a harebrained scheme. Will I become friends with your friends? Maybe, but trying to force it is only going to hurt those chances. Do you understand?” Maud looked into her sister’s eyes.
“I understand,” Pinkie said morosely.
“Good. Now, do you want me to go back to the rock farm? I don’t want to cause you any undue stress,” Maud said gently.
“NO! Please don’t go. I don’t know when I’m going to see you again,” Pinkie was on the verge of tears.
“Silly Pinkie, you’ll see me over winter break,” Maud promised.
“But what if you get a coltfriend and want to spend the holidays with him? What if you have an end of term assignment and can’t come home? What if-” Maud stuffed a hoof in Pinkie’s mouth.
“Pinkie, I promise you, I will do everything in my power to see you during winter break. I’ll stay the last couple of days, but if I hear you scheming something to force your friends and me together, I’ll leave immediately, got it?” Pinkie nodded her head vigorously.
The last two days of Maud’s stay in Ponyville passed uneventfully. No monster attacks, no friendship problems, just two sisters spending a little bit of time together.
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10317504
or just have flat out lost any intrest at all
One Punch Man music starts playing.
Well, she still have one.
10318377
Is the moon Luna's pet rock? Has she simply stopped calling it that? Or maybe Luna is the moon's pet pony... All these hard hitting questions and more at 11!
10318407
Nah, the first one died of old age, unfortunately. She haven't really considered moon her pet rock either up until she stuck in it for a millennia. While she liked her moon a lot before that now she loves it. Unlike with Nightmare Moon which wasn't a great conversationalist or even a pleasant person to talk to, Luna could freely pour her heart out at her moon.
And Celestia help Discord if he ever decide to turn it into a cheese even for a moment.
10317244
I'm just imagining the therapist being out of the loop for recent events and assuming that Tom is just trying to run from therapy and lying about Tirek
*Tidal.
Well, Discord can. Tirek did too, as did Chrysalis and her changelings - twice. Oh, and Trixie, along with Starlight.
Something about hypnosis, a cage, a bubble, being overcome by sheer numbers, off-screen capture-and-replacing, pointer-moving-mouth-to-trash, and cutie-mark removal?
Autism? She's quite knowledgeable, doesn't express emotions well, isn't exactly sociable, sometimes misses obvious hints, is obsessed with a single interest...doesn't bother to ask why somepony would be interested in a cutie-mark-stealing rock, just points them towards a sample anyway...
10318442
...The guy managed to bat away Sombra's magical blasts extremely casually, and managed to bring the King back from the "dead" (little girl show, so "death"?). He's the only one shown to be able to warp reality - sure, he's vulnerable to Harmony and magic-suckers and anti-magic fields, but not much else.
Considering Luna doesn't have direct access to Harmony anymore, and the only magic-sucker is an imprisoned villain, she'd have to ask Chrysalis for a certain rock sample in order to have a chance against Discord.
10319112
“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”
Believe me, in this particular case she won't need Chrysalis' help to kick his sorry arse all the way to the moon and back reality warper or not. XD
10319284
I've never liked that saying, since it implies women getting irrationally, violently angry is acceptable; them wreaking vengeance on those who "wronged" them (which can be entirely subjective) is normal and justified. Er, no. Angry outbursts are never acceptable, and neither is seeking vengeance.
If a woman's angry, they shouldn't take it out on anyone, not even the person who angered them - that's not productive, helpful, or appealing. No; go spend that anger bashing up a pillow, or knocking a punching bag around, or jogging, or whatever, then go calmly talk to the "wrongdoer" - it might be that the other person might not have realised they angered her.
The fact that there's no equivalent male phrase is quite telling, in my eyes; it's as if it's okay to scorn men, and they can't get angry and get away with it, especially towards a woman (that'd be "abusive" and "sexist" and "patriarchy"), whereas it's not okay to scorn women, it's okay for them to get angry, even towards men (because "girl power" and "breaking social norms" - they've been broken for decades - and "only men can be abusive").
In short, that phrase is awful. Anything supporting or "justifying" female violence/aggression and henpecking and other male-victimising behaviour is horrendous and sickening.
10319338
Well, you probably right. I personally think women are more inclined to act on their feelings, though. That is purely due to their physiology which cause them to experience mood swings for various physiological reasons like periods or pregnancy. Of course it's on average and there are certain exceptions for both genders. However, poking a finger at this flaw like this is probably not right. There are major perks to their physiology too, which men are unfortunately lacking. Nature is quite unfair.
Besides, after chasing him for a bit Luna will just tell certain shy pegasus on this his stunt. The last thing Discord want is to disappoint her.
10319087
Why yes, yes it is
10319094
Aye, Maud could be on the Autistic Spectrum, It's not strange for someone to have both Schizoid and Autism. It's also easy for the two to be misdiagnosed as each other unless you're looking for clear signs of one or the other. The reason my therapist was able to diagnose me with Schizoid was because I specifically asked to be tested for Autism. The group of tests she gave me ruled out Autism but was almost 100% positive for Schizoid.
10319794
Please don't fight. I don't want my comments section to become the grounds of the next Holy War.
I liked this chapter, and agree with your feelings on the episode. Also please do a sequel after this one
10320290
I am planning on doing a sequel, but I don't know how often it will update. With this story I have a clear end in mind and have had that endpoint since I first started writing it many years ago. The sequel is significantly more nebulous. Will I go all the way to The Last Problem? Well, it probably won't get that far. My plans have things diverging so heavily from canon that The Last Problem won't happen at all, even if we go that far down the timeline. We'll just see where the sequel decides to go.
THE OMNI-SHIP HAS BEEN SUMMONED!!!1!!1!!!!,!!1
any one imagined Luna saying in the RCV: Oh look, the Pies have been doubled
And then everyone got diabetes.
Ah, yes, everyone important will be there next chapter. And Shining.
10736588
Diabeetus
But the lesson of we are friends because we all care about pinkie was stupid. If wasn't for that they wouldn't even get along. And I admit that Maud might be harder for folks who are use to more emotional people than Maud but they definitely should have put some effort in. But friendship like growing things sometimes takes time.