> A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake
>  by The Dimension Traveler
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> A Meeting of Minds
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 1: A Meeting of Minds


My head hurt, my mouth felt like sandpaper, and I felt sick to my stomach. If I didn’t drink, I would’ve sworn I was hungover.

“Dammit, Flu season was 3 months ago…and that’s not my voice,” My eyes snapped open, only to close again as my headache intensified. I then opened my eyes slowly, but was only willing to reach a squint. I found myself staring at a wooden ceiling. Not remotely helpful in discerning where I was nor why my voice suddenly sounded like a girl’s. Therefore, I tried braving sitting up, only to find my appendages didn’t have much in the way of hands. Upon noticing this, my discomfort was pushed aside and looked at myself in a conveniently place mirror. A mirror sitting at one of the points of a pentagram.

“WHY AM I A PURPLE PONY!? No, better question, why am I sitting in a pentagram?”

“Owwww, that could’ve gone better,” A voice groaned…a voice that sounded exactly like the one I was currently using.

“I’m already hallucinating, what’s hearing voices to the list of my newfound mental illness?” I said.

“Um, you’re not crazy. At least, I don’t think you are,” The voice said.

“You’ll forgive me if I don’t take much comfort from a voice in my head,” I deadpanned.

“Actually, it’s my head. I was trying to perform a summoning ritual I found in the Castle of the Two Pony Sisters. Unfortunately, something went wrong and here we are; you in an unfamiliar body and I unable to do much more than communicate with you,” The voice explained

“So I’m not crazy. Because you were trying to summon God knows what, I’VE BEEN DRAGGED ACROSS TIME AND SPACE LIKE AN ELDRITCH DEMON!” I yelled.

“Well…you don’t have to yell,” The voice said meekly.

“Alright, assuming I haven’t simply gone nutty as a fruitcake, is there any way I can get home?” I asked, already fearing that I wouldn’t like what I was about to hear. 

“I don’t know. I wish I could tell you otherwise, but I don’t know. I don’t know what went wrong in the first place. I don’t know how we’ve been connected. I know about as much as you do, I’m afraid,” The voice said apologetically, “My name’s Twilight Sparkle, by the way.”

To be honest, I wanted to be mad at her. I would’ve liked nothing more than to be furious with the mare named Twilight Sparkle, but I couldn’t muster up the feeling. She hadn’t meant to do this and it was dumb, bad luck that I wound up inhabiting her body. Besides, she was being inconvenienced by this whole thing too.

“Well, Twilight Sparkle, though I wish it were under better circumstances, I’m as pleased to meet you as the situation allows. My name is Tom Williams,” I told the now named voice. She giggled a bit before responding.

“Pleased to make your acquaintance Tom,” She replied

“So, how are we gonna do this? I highly doubt any of your friends, family, and so on will fail to notice that you have suddenly lost all fine motor control and have gained a new personality overnight. That’s not even going into any significant cultural differences there are between my home and here. Come to it, I’m not even that good at maintaining social norms back home,” I said.

“And I doubt you have any experience with our kind of magic. Is there any chance you know how to fly?” Twilight asked.

“I know exactly nothing about magic, as I don’t have it back home. As far as flying, I did not have wings, so I don’t know how to fly either,” I answered.

“So the idea of you passing as me until we figure this out is sunk…I am going to be in so much trouble when Princess Celestia hears about this,” Twilight groaned

“Presuming this Princess doesn’t just chuck us in the loony bin,” I remarked

“Not. Helpful.” Twilight growled

“So, how are we gonna..?” My question was interrupted by someone else calling out.

“Twilight, are you OK down there?” 

“That’s Spike, it must be morning already. I guess it’s time to face the music,” Twilight sighed. 

“Uh, Spike? Can you come down here?” I called up the stairs. I wasn’t quite willing to brave the stairs. I didn’t want my first act piloting Twilight’s body to be to land us in the hospital. 

To my surprise, it wasn’t another pony that came down the stairs, but what seemed to me to be a reptile of some kind. He was purple and green, reminding me vaguely of Barney the Dinosaur. As Spike descended the steps, he looked down at where I was sitting and arched an eyebrow…eyeridge? Whatever it’s supposed to be called and folded his arms. 

“Again Twilight?” He asked in a very put upon voice. 

“Again? What do you mean ‘again’?” I demanded. Although my initial impressions of Twilight were favorable, if she got her jollies off from interdimensional kidnappings, I was going to be very upset. 

“I may neglect certain, silly little things,” Twilight demurred. 

“Twilight, this is the third time this month you’ve gone experimenting on new spells without any supervision…” Spike groaned. From the sound of it, this was a common argument.

“I can’t help it if I get an idea in the middle of the night. I don’t want to wake anypony,” Twilight grumbled, but it sounded an awful lot like an excuse to me.

“Before this continues any further, I would like to make something perfectly clear,” I said.

“And what would that be?” Spike wondered.

“I am not, in fact, Twilight Sparkle. Twilight’s little satanic ritual summoned me and now I coinhabit her body.” Unsurprisingly, Spike bolted back up the stairs screaming about demons.

“Should I try and go upstairs and explain better?” I wondered.

“You’re going to have to get used to moving my body eventually,” Twilight said by way of answering. “And besides, Spike’s probably already hit the panic button, so I imagine all my friends and maybe the princesses are going to be showing up momentarily.”

What I really wanted at that moment was hands so I could rub the bridge of my nose to stave off the oncoming headache. Instead I just sighed and began toddling my way up the stairs, all the while being intimately aware there were no guardrails to prevent an untimely death by falling. So it was that I was on my/Twilight’s belly when I finally escaped the laboratory/basement/lair of arcane evil and found myself face to hoof with a pair of golden horseshoes. I looked upwards and saw a surprisingly intimidating white pony princess. It didn’t help that Twilight was blubbering about how she was going to be banished and then imprisoned in the place she was banished to and other such doomsday predictions.

“Hi?” I said meekly, putting on my most winning smile.

“Where is my student?” From a less dignified being, I would have called it a snarl. From Celestia, it was merely a promise of much pain and suffering if the question was not answering in a satisfactory manner. I gulped and we both tried to think up a way to explain what was going on without winding up a smear on the floor. Unfortunately neither of us seemed to be coping well with the pressure. Fortunately we didn’t have to as suddenly we were pinned to the wall on the far side of the room.

“WHERE’S TWILIGHT, YOU FILTHY TARTARUS SPAWN?!” A blue Pegasus, Rainbow Dash according to Twilight, screamed at me. 

“FIRST, MY EARS! SECOND, I’M NOT A DEMON! THIRD, WHY ARE WE YELLING?!” I shouted back.

“If you’re not a demon, then why are you possessing or replacing Twilight?!” It was a good question and fortunately Rainbow had turned down the volume a bit. 

“If you let me down, I can try to explain. Mind you, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me yet. I just know the bare bones basics. I just hope one of you knows the local technobabble,” Rainbow, still staring deep into my eyes as if to detect deception, let me down a moment later. I landed hard and fell flat on my stomach when I didn’t trust my new legs to catch me.

“This is becoming a depressingly familiar position…” I sighed as I looked up again and saw I had an audience. Fortunately I had Twilight to give me a running commentary on who’s who. 

I shakily stood up, bracing myself against the wall Rainbow had pinned me to.

“Tis like watching a newborn foal,” Princess Luna, who according to Twilight had some minor issues with volume control, muttered loud enough for everyone to hear. I felt myself blush in embarrassment. Rainbow’s snickering didn’t help matters either.

“If you’re done poking fun at me, I believe I have something important to say,” I harrumphed.

“We apologize,” Luna said. I accepted the apology and pointed in the direction of the basement/laboratory/lair of arcane evil.

“I’m Tom Williams, and I woke up a little while ago in Twilight’s body. She’s still here with me and we can communicate, but we can’t figure out how to switch control, or even if we can. The stuff Twilight used is still down there in the position it was. You’ll probably get more out of it than I could explain verbally,” I did my best to figure out what Twilight was technobabbling about, but she was talking too fast for me to even begin to try and repeat what she was saying. 

Celestia decided to go first, in case of a trap I presume, but soon called for the rest of us. I managed to get to the door after tripping over those hooves only four times. I considered it progress, despite Twilight’s cringing being an almost physical force. Rainbow looked like she wanted to say something, but had the common decency to keep her yap shut. 

“My, this spellform looks rather familiar, wouldn’t you say, Luna?” Celestia remarked, gesturing to the array with a wing from the bottom of the stairs. Her face was a mask of careful neutrality. 

“We hast no idea what thou art speaking of,” Luna summarily denied, but her poker face could use a little work. Anyone with eyes could see she was sweating bullets. 

“But I found the book with that spell in Luna’s old chambers,” Twilight told me and I relayed the information. Luna’s face scrunched up as though she had tasted something very sour.

“This is the spell array I designed when summoning the Nightmare,” Luna admitted, “Although, it would seem a critical piece is missing.”

“Luna designed it? I thought it was one of Starswirl’s works!” I dutifully echoed Twilight’s thoughts, even if I had no idea who this Starswirl was. Luna looked a little miffed.

“I was the Element of Magic before you,” Luna pouted.

“Really?” Multiple voices chorused in surprise.

“Of course, when my Sister and I wielded the Elements, it was I who held Magic, Loyalty, and Honesty. Celestia, of course, bore Generosity, Kindness, and Laughter,” Luna explained.

“Wait, you said something was missing?” I prompted.

“Ah, yes, there is supposed to be a final outer ring, which would have served to mark a target of the spell. The results without it are before us,” Luna answered. 

“Ah’m guessin’ the original target was the Nightmare?” Applejack asked. Luna flinched, but confirmed it. 

“As troublesome as this situation is, at least Twilight didn’t summon another Nightmare. I dare say we had quite enough of that a few weeks ago,” Rarity remarked. 

“I don’t know exactly what you’re talking about, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say you can’t just reverse the polarity and send me home?” I was afraid to ask, but Twilight and I needed an answer.

“I didn’t foresee a need to banish the Nightmare, who I believed to be a friend at the time, so there was no such element incorporated into the spell. Even if there was, with no idea from whence you came, sending you back to the correct place, time, and even body are so astronomical as to not even bear thinking about,” Luna explained.

My already unsteady legs failed and I fell to the floor. The reality of my situation sinking in and despair threatened to engulf me. I was stuck. I was stuck in a strange place, in a strange female body, and strange ponies. The world went blurry and my breaths grew short. Twilight was whispering words of comfort, but that was all she could do. Just as a full panic attack was about to engulf me, I felt a pair of wings attached to a sky blue blur wrap around me. The other ponies in the room quickly followed and I found myself in a group hug. 

“Why..? You don’t even know me…” I gasped between sobs. 

“Oh, um, well, we’d like to,” Fluttershy said.

“You and Twi are probably gonna be stuck like this for a while. No way would I leave either of you hanging!” Rainbow exclaimed. 

“I’m sure we’ll be super duper bestest friends in no time!” Pinkie chirped. Surrounded by so many ponies who I didn’t even know offering me support unconditionally, I was humbled. 

“You can try to find better friends, but I doubt you’d find them,” Twilight’s voice contained a warm pride. I was soon able to pull myself together.

“Thanks,” I said softly, as much as I wanted the hug to continue, there were things that needed to get done. “Now it’s time for a stiff upper lip.”

“Twilight’s recent ascension to Princesshood also complicates matters,” Celestia remarked.

“Wait, what? Princess?” I was taken by surprise.

“Uh, did I forget to mention that? Whoops…” Twilight giggled awkwardly. 

“I’m sure the populace will be thrilled to hear their newest princess has been body snatched,” I wasn’t looking forward to any angry mobs.

“Perhaps it would be prudent if we kept that bit of information to ourselves,” Celestia suggested.

“How? I can’t even walk without tripping over myself,” I protested.

“We could sign you up for physical therapy, it would-”

“I’ll do it!” Rainbow suddenly interrupted Celestia, “I was already teaching Twi how to fly, so no pony will think it’s weird if she’s spending time with me and I already know what’s going on. Everypony wins!” 

“I don’t see why not, unless you have any objection?” Celestia asked me.

“She’s already seen me make a fool of myself, so what’s a little more embarrassment?” I replied, “Also, while I’m thinking about it, are Twilight and I going to have any issues from sharing the same body?”

“Before Twilight’s ascension I would have been concerned for a number of reasons, but as she is now an Alicorn, I can confidently say, with my own experience with the Nightmare, that no such issues should arise,” Luna replied

“We’ll also need to inform Twilight’s family. Then, in two week’s time, there’s the royal summit in the Crystal Empire,” Celestia informed me.

“I’ll try not to sign us all into servitude,” I deadpanned. And so, that was how the story of my stay in Equestria began.
> The New Normal
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 2: The New Normal


Tom looked around as he and the rest of his newfound friends exited the library Twilight Sparkle called home. 

“My sister and I must return to Canterlot, but we will see you soon. I wish you the best of luck,” Celestia said as she and Luna boarded a chariot.

“I, too, wish you well,” Luna waved as the chariot took off. The eight left behind watched as they vanished in the distance.

“Well, no time like the present! We can’t have you stumbling around like a drunk,” Rainbow chirped and started dragging Tom and Twilight away.

“Wait! Where are we going?!” Tom squawked, his wings popping open of their own accord. 

“Whitetail Woods, it’s a nice out of the way place where we can whip you into shape!” Rainbow told him happily. 

“I suddenly feel like a lamb being sent to the slaughter,” Tom protested mildly, but that was the extent of his resistance. He recognized the importance of, as Celestia had called it, physical therapy. 

“I hope you’re prepared to regret breathing, because I’m pretty sure Dash’s ‘training’ is just an excuse to be sadistic to a poor bookworm,” Twilight complained, but the smirk in her voice made it clear to Tom she was mostly joking. The fact she wasn’t going to have to endure the exercise probably also helped to put her in a jovial mode. 

“You know, I may have been a theater nerd, but I happened to like PE. However, that was before I was forcefully transplanted into a soft, lazy geek,” Tom shot back. Dash looked questioningly at Tom, “Talking to Twilight.”

“Oh, cool,” Dash said and continued shoving Tom and Twilight along.

“Did you just call me a GEEK?! How dare you?! I am Queen of Nerds and the Lady of Dweebs, thank you very much. Never degrade me by calling me a geek again!” Twilight said in her most pompous tones.

“What about the Dame of Dorks?” Tom teased.

“That’s even worse than geek…” Twilight fake growled. 

“I thought geek and dork are the same thing?” Rainbow asked.

“Geeks are obsessed and intelligent. Dweebs are intelligent and socially inept. Dorks are socially inept and obsessed. Nerds are the perfect harmony of intelligent, socially inept, and obsessed,” Tom explained. Dash favored him with a flat look.

“You guys are weird,” Rainbow said flatly, “Anyway; we’re here, so it’s time to get you walking right!”

The rest of the day passed in a blur for Tom. It was a painful, sweaty blur, from which Rainbow prevented any escape. However, at the end of it, Tom had mastered the basic ability to walk without falling over his own hooves. He could also somewhat competently get up in the air with those annoying wings, but getting down without causing injury and devastation around him was still beyond Tom’s grasp. 

“Whaddaya want from me? I used to only have four limbs!” Tom moaned as he extracted himself from his latest crater. 

“That excuse didn’t fly with Twilight and it won’t work for you! Back up in the air!” Dash barked.

“No. I’m tired, hungry, and I’m going to be completely useless in the morning. I haven’t eaten all day! I’m going to find something to eat,” Tom put his foot down. Dash opened her mouth to say something, but the monstrous growl that came from her own stomach stopped her. 

“Food sounds good,” She said meekly. 

“So what do you ponies eat? I’m going to presume herbivorous, but do you eat grass and stuff?” Tom asked.

“Nopony eats grass unless they’re desperate. Most ponies eat fruits, vegetables, hay, eggs, and flowers for meals, but some eat fish, like me, or other meats,” Rainbow answered.

“Please don’t eat meat. Fish is fine, but meat…ugh,” Twilight shuddered, “I’ve eaten meat, usually with the Griffon diplomats, but it was so rare it might as well be raw and that kinda ruined it for me.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to live without bacon,” Tom joked.

“We have something better: haybacon!” Rainbow declared.

“Blasphemer, there is nothing better than bacon,” Tom said in disbelief.

“Well, I know what we’re getting to eat. There’s a diner in town that serves breakfast all day and they have the best haybacon. We can get a doggy bag and take it home so you don’t embarrass yourself,” Rainbow teased.

“Might as well use the opportunity to try magic,” Twilight chimed in helpfully.

So it was that Tom found himself staring down a slice of haybacon while Twilight was rambling on in his mind about proper telekinetic techniques. 

“Staring at it isn’t going to get it eaten, unless you want me to eat it for you,” Rainbow drawled.

“Fine, all I’ve got to do is trust in the Force. Should be simple, right?” Tom asked rhetorically and, following Twilight’s instruction, felt out for the slice of haybacon with magic. He was so surprised when a magenta aura sprang to life around the haybacon that he nearly dropped it. He maintained his focus, however, and slowly, steadily brought the haybacon to his mouth.

“So?” Dash prompted.

“One that was a lot easier than I was afraid it was going to be. Two, I hate you for being right about haybacon being amazing. Three, quit hogging the rest of the food!” With that Tom began to eat properly, moving things about with magic with little issue.

“Of course telekinesis wasn’t a hard task; even newborn foals can do it. It’s the most basic expression of magic every unicorn can do. It’s only when you start getting into actual spells that things get more complicated. You have to manage the power to flow ratios, the spell form, the mana gating, your corona, and Clover’s thaums equivalency theorem, among other things,” Twilight lectured, but Tom mostly tuned her out for the sake of eating.

Several minutes later, Tom noticed Rainbow Dash was staring at him. 

“What?” He asked.

“Oh, I was just noticing how you’re a much clearer eater than Twi,” Rainbow answered.

“Huh?” Tom was understandably confused.

“Well, Twi is the messiest eater I know. I never knew it was possible for a full grown mare to wear more of a hayburger than she actually ate until I met Twilight. I guess it kinda just hits it home how, even when I’m seeing her face, you’re not Twi,” Rainbow explained herself. 

“I am not that bad!” Twilight protested the insult, which Tom relayed. Rainbow snorted in amusement.

“You totally are! Every time you ate a hayburger it was like watching a slasher movie! Bits of hayburger gore flying everywhere! Do you even remember the state you left The Hay Burger in when we took you there the day after your ascension? You ate fifty burgers and the staff started handing out ponchos for the ‘splash zone’! You stuck your face in and just started mauling them! Do I need to continue?” Dash quirked her eyebrow.

“I think she’s sufficiently whipped,” Tom assured Rainbow. Twilight’s howls of anguish and piteous moans in the back of his mind were proof enough of that. 

“Element of Loyalty my plot,” Twilight finally sulked. Tom wisely chose not to relay that. 

Tom and Rainbow soon finished their meal and Tom was looking forward to bed.

“If tomorrow is going to be anything like today, I’m going to need to get some sleep,” Tom said.

“No need to worry about that. Tomorrow is strictly light stretches for you. We wouldn’t want to overwork your muscles to the point of self injury, after all,” Rainbow casually dismissed his concerns.

“There is a God,” Tom breathed in relief.

“Huh?” Rainbow was confused.

“Human saying, don’t worry about it,” Tom waved the question away. 

Rainbow left soon thereafter and Tom wandered up to Twilight’s room, where Spike was already asleep. Tom flopped on the bed, but it didn’t take him long to figure out that he wouldn’t be joining Spike in dreamland anytime soon. Twilight, somehow, was asleep while Tom tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable position, but the unfamiliarity of Twilight’s body combined with those pesky wings popping of their own accord made that an impossible feat. So Tom did what he usually did when he found himself with a case of insomnia. He slipped quietly out of the library and took a moonlight stroll.

“Twilight?” Tom had been wandering aimlessly when he heard a familiar voice. His attention snapped back into focus and he spotted Rarity poking her head out a door and a cat escaping out into the evening.

“Er, I’m Tom, remember?” Tom reminded her.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, please forgive me darling, it had completely slipped my mind. I was just letting Opal out for the night when I spotted you. Come in, I’m no stranger to sleepless nights and you seem like you could use a nice cup of tea,” Rarity opened the door and beckoned Tom in. He hesitated for only a moment before allowing himself to be lead inside the Carousel Boutique. 

“Any requests?” Rarity asked as she levitated a teapot towards her stove.

“I’ll trust your judgment,” Tom replied. 

“I just got a box of passion flower tea in from the Flower Triplets that I think will do wonders for you,” Choice made, Rarity pulled down the blend and started to prepare it, “So, what brought about this nighttime wandering?”

“Even when I was young, walking around in the dead of night brought me some measure of peace when I couldn’t sleep. Just feeling the world at rest around me, it helped. It’s also helping me get a feel for the town, but that’s not what you’re asking, is it?” Tom shook his head ruefully.

“No, it isn’t,” Rarity agreed while passing a cup of tea. Tom drank it, but didn’t really register the taste. 

“Mostly it’s being in Twilight’s body. Everything feels so different that I can’t find a comfortable position to lie in. The fur, the tail, the wings, the horn, and so on, it’s all so different from what I’m used to, and that’s not even mentioning the difference in plumbing, as it were. But I would be lying if I said that was the only thing keeping me up,” Tom sighed.

“I can’t even imagine everything you must be dealing with, not the least of which is your friends and family from where you came from,” Rarity said sympathetically.

“I’m probably never going to see them again. I wonder what they think happened to me. Did I just vanish without a trace and a manhunt turned up nothing? Did my body just go catatonic while my consciousness wound up here? I’ll never know and it doesn’t help to dwell on it, but…” Tom trailed off.

“But you can’t help it, at least for now. As much as I want to tell you to not give up hope, even with my limited knowledge of spellcraft, I know that’s optimistic to the point of ludicrousness,” Rarity’s words were like ripping off a band-aid: painful, but necessary.

“My life, as I knew it, is over,” Tom could feel his eyes start to water, “I was in my final year for my Master’s degree. I wanted to be a history teacher specializing in mythology. Now it’s meaningless.”

“Did you have a significant other?” Rarity asked suddenly.

“No, my college workload didn’t really leave room for that kind of relationship,” Tom answered. 

“Well, I’m sure as soon as we get this situation with you and Twilight sorted we’ll find you someone. And maybe we can even get Twilight to start dating!” Rarity seemed so enthralled with the idea that Tom couldn’t help but start laughing.

“That’s exactly what I need, someone to play matchmaker for me,” Tom snarked, “Hey, maybe me and Twilight could date each other?”

“The two of you being pulled together by extraordinary circumstances and finding romance? EEEE! That’s so romantic!” Rarity squealed.

“Don’t think for an instant I don’t know what you’re up to!” Tom grumbled.

“Is it working, darling?” Rarity fluttered her eyelashes.

“Yes, and it’s annoying me!” Tom harrumphed and Rarity giggled. 

“Even in the darkest times, there’s light somewhere, if you care to look,” Rarity said sagely.

“Yeah,” Tom agreed before yawning, “Thanks for the tea and the friendly ear. I think I can manage to catch some Zs now.”

“You are quite welcome. Now off to bed with you, it’s late and well past your bed time, I’m sure,” Rarity joked.

“Goodnight, Rarity,” Tom did his level best to ignore the white mare’s humor, but his trembling lips gave him away.

Tom soon found his way back to the library treehouse and wearily climbed up the steps to Twilight’s room before falling into bed and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. That night was filled with sweet dreams, courtesy of a certain moon princess.
> A Cosmic Joke
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 3: A Cosmic Joke


The train pulled out of the station after disgorging its passengers into the Crystal Empire. True to its name, there were crystals everywhere. Even the ponies were crystallized!

“At least the scenery will be nice to look at after I’ve inevitably done something to mess up this summit,” Tom quipped deprecatingly.

“Ah reckon with an attitude like that yer already halfway there,” Applejack snarked. 

“If all else fails, smile and wave, darling,” Rarity’s comment elicited a snort of amusement from Tom, “Also, I couldn’t help but notice you’re not wearing Twilight’s crown. Did you forget it in Ponyville? Please tell me you didn’t!”

“It’s in the bag. You think someone with Twilight’s level of OCD would let me forget anything? I’m not wearing it because it’s Twilight’s crown and she doesn’t want to wear it because she says she feels self-conscious with that thing on,” Tom answered.

“My first real act of Princesshood was trapping you in my body, so I think I’m a little justified,” Twilight said. 

“There’s no need to worry! You’ve got all of us here! There’s no way we’d let something bad happen, we’re way too awesome for that!” Rainbow crowed. A small smile came over Tom’s lips.

“Your moral support is deeply appreciated by both of us. I, for one, would probably be in itty bitty emotional pieces if it weren’t for you girls,” Tom said sincerely.

“You’re very welcome,” Fluttershy demurred. 

“It would be a lot harder to have fun if you were in pieces, believe me, I know!” Pinkie chirped. Before anyone could respond, the doors to the castle opened and fanfare played to announce their arrival. 

“Welcome, everypony, I am glad you could all make it,” Celestia greeted the group, with Luna and Cadence by her side. Cadence seemed on the verge of saying something, but couldn’t bring herself to do so. Just as the awkwardness was reaching critical mass, Tom decided he had had enough.

“Look, Cadence, if you wanna say hi to Twilight, you can go ahead and ignore me. I promise I won’t get hurt feelings. I imagine it’s pretty damn unsettling to see Twilight’s face but with her not in the driver’s seat,” Tom said.

“I’m sorry, I just- only Twilight could manage to get herself into a situation like this,” Cadence said in exasperation.

“Honestly, going from what I’ve heard and what she’s told me, I’m only somewhat surprised it hasn’t happened sooner,” Tom replied.

“Hey!” Twilight protested when Cadence giggled.

“I know, right? Whenever I’d babysit for Twilight I had to make sure she was actually asleep and not reading or experimenting. The one time I forgot she managed to make herself plaid.”

“I meant to do that!” Twilight complained mulishly. Tom was not convinced. In the two weeks Tom had been in Equestria, he had quickly learned that Twilight had a certain reckless streak when it came to SCIENCE and/or Magic. Nothing in his mind cemented this fact more than the mirror pool incident. If flinging around magic with a chance to doom the real Pinkie wasn’t reckless, Tom didn’t know what was.

“I am glad to see you getting along, but the day grows old and you are all no doubt tired from your long train trip. There is much to discuss, but it can wait. I propose we all head off to bed,” Celestia suggested. Bed sounded nice to all involved, and each was lead to private guest chambers.

“I wonder what this summit is going to be about,” Spike mused as he readied his bed.

“I haven’t the foggiest. All I know is I get to spend the day pretending to be Twilight Sparkle,” Tom grumbled as he fished the Element of Magic crown from the bags. He placed it on his head.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be right here to coach you,” Twilight assured him, “I still think that crown looks silly on me.”

“Well it’s a good thing you won’t be wearing it then,” Tom snarked as he placed it on the dresser. Spike had learned to recognize when Tom and Twilight were conversing between themselves and to ignore it. 

“Go to bed, you two. I don’t want to be kept up all night because of your talking,” Spike said around a yawn as he curled into his blankets. Tom complied and after a few false starts, the three were all asleep.

As the night wore on, all seemed peaceful, until a shadowy figure appeared from seemingly nowhere, nimbly dodging guards and making a beeline for the room Spike, Tom, and Twilight were sleeping in. The door wasn’t locked, so the intruder had no issue slipping inside and soon spotted the prize: The Element of Magic. In haste, the Element brushed against a lamp, and nearly shattered, but was caught in a greenish-blue magical aura just in time. The lamp was set back in place and a fake Element of Magic took the place of the real one.

The intruder nearly made a clean getaway, but Spike shifted in his sleep, causing his tail to trip up the intruder, awakening the occupants of the room.

“Huh? What?” Spike asked blearily.

“The crown!” Tom exclaimed, spotting it sticking out from the intruder’s saddlebags. The chase was on! Tom and the intruder thundered down the hall, awakening the rest of the castle.

“Stop in the name of the law!” Tom shouted after the intruder, having always wanted to use that line. Using the hard gained skills of magic Twilight had pounded mercilessly into his head; Tom summoned the necessary mana to teleport in front of the intruder. Unfortunately, the intruder was capable of the same trick and teleported behind him, leaving the cloak behind to blind Tom as it flew into his face. That didn’t slow him down for long, and thanks to Rainbow’s training, he soon managed to catch up with the thief. 

“Give it back!” Tom shouted as both he and the thief barreled into a room with a large mirror in it. The thief tripped over Tom as he tried to draw even with her and the Element of Magic was sent flying into the mirror, but instead of the mirror shattering, the Element of Magic passed through it. 

“What did she do?!” Twilight was aghast. 

“Sorry it had to be this way,” The thief sneered, “Princess.” She teleported to the mirror and walked through. Tom made to follow, but AJ’s cooler head saw it coming and bit down on his tail. 

“Let me go!” Tom demanded.

“No way!” Applejack said around a mouthful of tail.

“I need to go after her into a magical portal I know nothing about… on second thought we should get Celestia,” 

“Ah’m glad you came to yer senses,” AJ drawled as she let go of Tom’s tail. They met Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Shining Armor in the hallway. 

“What happened? We heard a commotion,” Celestia asked and the theft was explained. When the thief’s description was related to them, Celestia and Cadence both frowned. 

“From the sounds of it, the thief was a former student of mine by the name of Sunset Shimmer. She was my student before I took on Twilight. However, her ambition turned her cruel and dishonest when she didn’t see the results she wanted quickly enough. I will not pretend I was completely faultless. With Luna’s return close at hoof, I was looking for the one who could save her, or destroy her as necessary. I believe the phrase is ‘do as I say, not as I do’. I lectured her on humility and forming friendships, while encouraging her perfectionist tendencies and isolationism with my actions in hopes that Sunset could be made into an Element Barer. Instead, I failed her as completely as one pony can fail another,” Celestia’s gaze grew distance, reliving past memories. 

“Sunset was a young orphan when Auntie Celestia took her on as her student,” Cadence added on.

“Sounds like there’s a whole, long story you’d like to get off your chest, but we don’t exactly have time to be sitting around,” Tom said bluntly.

“You’re right, of course,” Celestia snapped back to the present, “You will need to follow Sunset in order to retrieve the Element of Magic. Even I do not know what exactly lies beyond that mirror.”

“Starswirl used to have a number of similar mirrors that served as portals to other worlds, but I understand that many of them were destroyed over the course of my banishment,” Luna explained, “This one in particular is only open for three days once every thirty moons, or about two and a half years by modern reckoning. It was once kept in Canterlot, but when Cadence took over the Crystal Empire, we had it sent here for safe keeping.”

“Enough exposition, let’s get going!” Rainbow, ever a mare of action, shouted in exasperation.

“Only Twilight and Tom may go through. The balance of our worlds could be put at great risk if all of you were to go,” Celestia curtailed any attempts for the rest of the ponies to join Twilight and Tom.

“First big event in magical pony land and it’s a solo job. Somehow that seems to be keeping in line with my recent string of luck,” Tom bemoaned his situation, but placed Twilight’s saddlebags on his back, “I’m ready.”

“Then good luck, to both of you,” Celestia said and a chorus of well wishes sprang up from the other occupants of the room.

“Allons-y!” Tom exclaimed as he jumped into the mirror portal. Spike, unable to stand the idea of Twilight and Tom being sent off on their own, dove into the portal after them before anyone could stop him.

The portal was a swirl of color and noise that completely disoriented dragon, pony, and human in the pony’s body equally. So much so that none even noticed their bodies changing as they progressed through the portal before they were thrown out the other side. 

“Uh, Tom? Twilight?” Spike’s voice centered Tom’s focus as he opened his eyes.

“Spike, you weren’t supposed to come along and why are you a dog?” Tom started to become more aware of the situation.

“I have no idea, but more importantly, I have no idea what you are!” Spike shouted. Tom instinctually patted himself down with his hands, only to realize that he had hands again. Then he looked down at himself.

“Well, this just got infinitely more awkward,” Tom said while fighting down a blush.

“What? Why?” Spike asked.

“I’m a human, although I’ve never seen anyone with this shade of skin. What makes it really awkward is that I seem to be Twilight as a human teenage girl, when I was a twenty three year old man,” Tom let out a hearty sigh. 

“It could be worse!” Twilight tried to bravely point out.

“How?” Tom was almost afraid to ask.

“You could have been naked; you told me humans have a nudity taboo, right?” Twilight was determined to look at the bright side.

“I don’t think ‘awkward’ even begins to cover it, dude,” Spike drawled.

“Whatever…” Tom picked himself up and brushed of the skirt he was now wearing, “Let’s just get the Element and go back to where I’m at least a female of a different species.” 

As Tom started walking towards what seemed to be a school, he found himself happy to be able to walk on two legs again, even if it was hampered somewhat by the different center of gravity and weird boots. The school was infiltrated with no problem, Tom presumed it was a weekend, with how quiet everything was, but that was quickly disproven when the bell rang and suddenly the hallway was flooded with students.

“Looks like we’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto,” Tom muttered to himself as he gazed over the sea of humanity that was just as colorful as the ponies back in Equestria. 

“I don’t know how you could live in a world with such a limited color palette,” Twilight remarked.

“I don’t know how you can live in a world that looks like a Crayola factory puked on it,” Tom shot back. 

“Touché,” Twilight conceded. Tom, who had survived high school, managed to slip through the crowd without getting jostled too much and made it to a lower traffic area. 

“So where are we going to find the crown?” Spike wondered.

“Given the portal tossed us out here, I’m hoping Sunset is still in the area. If time moves at the same speed in both worlds, then Sunset’s been here at least two and a half years, if not more. She knows the lay of the land, but I’m also hoping she’s had some kind of impact around here. If we don’t find her here, we could probably find a phone book or a police station,” Tom laid out the beginnings of his plans.

So they wandered aimlessly around the school, Twilight getting weirded out every time they ran across someone who had a pony counterpart she knew. Tom was not so easily distracted. Eventually, the search paid off when they heard Fluttershy’s voice and it sounded like she was being bullied.

“No one bullies our Fluttershy!” Twilight nearly growled and Tom was of a similar mind. To their luck, the bully happened to be Sunset Shimmer.

“You shouldn’t pick up things that don’t belong to you!” Sunset shouted.

“It doesn’t really belong to you either,” Fluttershy muttered, but not quietly enough for Sunset to miss it.

“EXCUSE ME?!” Sunset roared and slammed her hands into a locker, completely trapping and cowing Fluttershy. At this point Spike was actually growling. It only got worse as Sunset started degrading Fluttershy. Tom wasn’t about to stand for it.

“Leave her alone!” Tom called out. Sunset spun around, her eyes narrowing as she looked over to see who had interrupted her.

“What did you say?” Students fled in abject terror as Tom and Sunset marched towards each other, fire in their eyes.

“I said leave her alone. You have no right to talk to her like that,” Tom’s calm tone belied his boiling rage. Tom and Sunset got in each other’s faces. Sunset tried to get Tom to look down by putting her hand under his chin, but he just grabbed her arm.

“Let go of me,” Sunset seethed. Tom acquiesced and Sunset stepped away, “You think you’re tough? Just you wait. I own this school and I can make your life hell.” With that Sunset stalked away.

“I can’t believe you stood up to Sunset Shimmer like that,” Fluttershy said in awe.

“I couldn’t in good conscious just do nothing,” Tom said.

“Well, it’s just; no one has ever stood up to Sunset before,” Fluttershy told him.

“I plan to do a whole lot more standing, if that’s alright with you,” Tom replied.

“Just be careful. I don’t think I’ve seen you around here before, are you a new transfer student?” Fluttershy asked. Tom didn’t want to lie to Fluttershy, but given the circumstances, with Sunset clearly being a student herself, Tom needed an in. 

“Yeah, today’s my first day, but I can’t seem to find the principal’s office. My name’s Twilight Sparkle,” Tom lied. 

“My name’s Fluttershy,” Fluttershy introduced herself.

“Nice to meet you Flutter-” Tom was cut off when Fluttershy caught sight of Spike.

“Oh my goodness, who’s this sweet little guy?” Fluttershy started gushing over Spike.

“You know, this seems awfully familiar. This parallel reality thing is really starting to get to me,” Twilight complained.

“That’s Spike,” Tom ignored Twilight and answered Fluttershy’s question instead, “He’s my dog.” Fluttershy then offered Spike a dog treat, which, after the first bite, he greedily scarfed down.

“Wouldn’t you just give anything to know what they’re really thinking?” Fluttershy asked.

“Pet me, Feed me, Love me, Play with me, not necessarily in that order,” Tom snarked and Fluttershy giggled. 

“I think it’s lovely how simple and straightforward dogs are,” She cooed. 

“Sunset said Fluttershy picked something up, ask her what it was,” Twilight prompted Tom, who asked.

“It was a crown,” Fluttershy answered, “The one we use for the Fall Formal princess, but Sunset Shimmer seems to think she owns it.”

“We need to know if that’s the Element!” Twilight exclaimed. 

“Really, you guys have an actual crown for the prom queen? That’s pretty amazing,” Tom remarked.

“Well, it’s not a real crown, but it’s a pretty well made fake. It even has real amethyst in a starburst at the center!” Fluttershy explained. 

“So what happened to it after you found it?” Tom questioned.

“I handed it back to Principal Celestia for safe keeping,” Fluttershy answered.

“Principal Celestia?” Twilight parroted, “This place keeps getting weirder and weirder.”

“That reminds me; you said you were looking for the principal’s office. Let me show you the way,” Fluttershy offered and Tom accepted the help, “Also, pets aren’t really allowed on school grounds, so you might want to hide him in your backpack. That’s what I do.” Fluttershy then opened up her backpack to reveal a bunny, cat, and bird.

“Thanks for the advice,” Tom said and ushered Spike into the backpack the portal had provided him with. The school bell than rang and Fluttershy said goodbye before dashing off to class. 

“How are we going to get the crown back if these people have it?” Spike asked when the coast was clear.

“If it has a real amethyst like Fluttershy said it’s probably locked up tight, which means we can’t just casually take it back. I also doubt anyone would believe our story about it being a magic item. The only way I can think of getting it is legitimately, but I’m not a student here,” Tom didn’t see any options.

“Who says we’re not a student here?” Twilight suddenly spoke up. Tom quickly caught on.

“We convince the principal that I’m a transfer student and I can compete…I suddenly feel like I’m in danger of losing my man card. A guy shouldn’t have to compete to win as prom queen, dammit!” Tom whined.

“You don’t look much like a guy to me,” Spike quipped. If looks could kill, Spike would have found himself taking a very sudden dirt nap. Tom took a breath to calm himself and knocked on the door to the principal’s office.

“Come in!” Celestia’s voice carried through the door and Tom let himself in, “What can I do for you?”

“Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle, and I just moved here, and I’m looking to transfer here,” Tom lied.

“Ah, just in time for the Fall Formal. I’ll just need you to sign a few forms and take a few papers home to your parents for them to sign, but we can get you into classes today,” Principal Celestia said as she searched for the necessary paperwork.

“That sounds great, thank you!” Tom was a picture of gratitude, then he spotted pictures of Sunset in what seemed to be her moment of victory at previous Fall Formals, “Seems like that girl is pretty popular, if she’s been crowned prom queen every year.”

“Popular isn’t exactly the word I would use…” Principal Celestia trailed off, “But here at Canterlot High the prom queen is called The Fall Formal Princess. We feel it flows better, so it stuck.”

“Can anyone run?” Tom asked.

“Thinking of throwing your hat into the ring?” Celestia questioned as Tom signed the papers she had placed before him.

“I don’t think I’ll win, but I think it might be fun to try,” Tom replied and Celestia smiled.

“I think we could use more of that attitude in our Fall Formals, all you have to do is let the committee head know you want to participate and she’ll put your name on the ballet,” Celestia explained, “Now, I’ll need those papers signed and back in my office by the end of the week, alright?” 

“Understood, Principal Celestia,” Tom responded.

“Good, now here is a schedule for you. Lunch period will begin shortly, so you’re free to go, and if you ever need anything, my door is always open,” With that Tom was herded out the door, which closed shut behind him.

Soon thereafter, Tom made his way to the cafeteria and was fortunate enough to spot Fluttershy’s pink hair in the crowd. He slipped his way into line next to her.

“Hello again, Fluttershy,” Tom greeted.

“Hello, Twilight,” Fluttershy returned.

“I know we haven’t known each other long, but I was wondering if I could ask a favor.” Tom asked hopefully.

“You stood up to Sunset for me; of course I’ll help you if I can,” Fluttershy said as she picked up a bowl of apple slices.

“I’ve decided to run for Princess of the Fall Formal and-” Tom was cut off by Fluttershy gasping and dropping the bowl of fruit, which landed on Tom.

“Oh, I’m sorry, it’s just, running for Fall Formal Princess is a really bad idea, and Sunset already has it out for you. Running would be suicidal! Sunset Shimmer wants to be Princess and what Sunset wants Sunset gets!” Fluttershy explained as she used napkins to clean up the fruit juice off Tom’s clothes, “If you don’t believe me, ask the girl who ran against Sunset in the Spring Fling.”

“I still want to try,” Tom said, unconcerned with Sunset’s vengeance.

“I don’t think you understand. Sunset has an iron grip on this school and to win, you’d have to convince the whole school to vote for you over her. The athletes, fashionistas, drama kids, the eco kids, the techies, the rockers, and so on,” Fluttershy laid out the facts for Tom, but he was still determined to see his candidacy through.

“Why is everypony separated this way?” Twilight wondered.

“The usual high school cliques… I find it somewhat depressing to see every high school has the same groups,” Tom mused aloud for Twilight’s benefit.

“That’s just the way it works, but everyone knows not to cross Sunset Shimmer,” Fluttershy said as they sat down at a table.

“Even so, I want to go through with this. Do you know where I can find the committee head?” Tom asked.

“You’ll probably find her in the gym,” Fluttershy answered. So Tom quickly finished his lunch and headed off to find the gym. When he found it, he opened the door and looked around.

“Hello?” He called out as he walked into the gym proper.

“INCOMING!” Someone yelled and suddenly Tom found himself assaulted by streamers. When the attack was over, Tom unburied himself and soon spotted a familiar tuft of cotton candy pink hair.

“I should have known, if it’s a party, Pinkie is involved somehow,” Twilight giggled.

“Are you the head of the Fall Formal Planning Committee? Fluttershy said I could find you here,” Tom said.

“Fluttershy, huh? Don’t let that shy bit fool you, she can be a real meanie! I’m Pinkie Pie, by the way!”

“Fluttershy? Mean? Any alternate reality where that’s the case would have to be way more messed up than this one,” Twilight quipped. Tom shared her skepticism. 

“A little late to be signing up, isn’t it?” Pinkie asked.

“I’m new here,” Tom explained.

“Really? I thought I didn’t recognize you…but now that I look at you, do you have a twin sister who lives in the city who has a dog named Spike who looks exactly like your dog?” Pinkie interrogated Tom.

“She must mean my counterpart in this reality,” Twilight speculated.

“I can neither confirm nor deny any accusations of that nature,” Tom answered. 

“I thought so,” Pinkie acted as if that were the most normal answer in the world. Pinkie then dug a clipboard and pen out of her hair and had Tom sign on it. He very nearly signed his own name, but caught himself and put down Twilight Sparkle instead. 

Once that was completed, a newcomer arrived.

“Somebody order a dozen cases of fizzy apple cider?” The unmistakable southern drawl of Applejack called out across the gym.

“Oh, me! I did!” Pinkie called out as Applejack and Big Mac carried in the drinks. Pinkie bouncing up and down like a rabbit on speed the whole time and looking suspiciously love struck at Big Mac, in Tom’s opinion. Then AJ caught sight of Tom.

“Don’t I know you?” She said.

“Do you?” Tom suddenly felt nervous.

“Yeah, you’re the new girl who gave Sunset Shimmer the what for!” Applejack exclaimed as she popped the cap on one of the cider bottles and chugged it.

“Twilight Sparkle here is going to run against Sunset for Princess of the Fall Formal,” Pinkie casually mentioned, causing AJ to do a spit take. Pinkie, meanwhile, was somehow flying with just a single balloon filled with her breath, but Tom had quickly learned the survival skill of ‘it’s Pinkie Pie, don’t question it’.

“Ah’d think twice about that,” Applejack warned, “She may come up to ya all nice like, but she ain’t nothin’ but a snake.” 

“I appreciate your concern, but I’m not terribly afraid of a high school girl,” Tom remarked.

“Oh, trust me, you will be. You will be…” Applejack gazed off into the middle distance briefly before shuddering, “About the only girl you can trust less is Rainbow Dash.”

“Really now?” Tom asked.

“She’s the captain of just about every sports team here at Canterlot High. She’s the queen of the athletes, in more ways than one, according to the rumors,” Pinkie blithely expositioned. 

“She’s also the captain of sayin’ she’ll do somethin’ and then turnin’ around and not showin’ up,” Applejack grumbled.

“Thanks for the warning, Applejack, I appreciate it,” Tom put as much false sincerity into his voice as he could muster. Something smelled fishy to both him and Twilight. 

“Hey, how did you know my name?” Applejack asked.

“I, uh, didn’t you say?” Tom coughed out weakly.

“Nope,” Big Mac answered helpfully. Tom knew a lost cause when he saw one and quickly abandoned ship.

“That one is trying to hide a secret, but I am totally on to her!” Pinkie declared as the doors swung shut behind the retreating Tom and Spike, “She’s psychic!”

“Uh huh, if you say so,” Applejack was experienced enough with Pinkie’s antics to just let it roll off her back. Just then the door on the opposite side of the gym burst open, reveling Sunset Shimmer and her goons, Snips and Snails. 

“This place looks terrible! There needs to be more streamers and fewer balloons!” Sunset barked as she popped a few of the offending balloons. She then stalked over to the refreshments.

“Fizzy apple cider? Ugh, this is my coronation, not some country hoedown!” Sunset said in disgust while holding a bottle of said beverage away from her in contempt. 

“Well now, it ain’t necessarily going to be your coronation this time around!” Applejack couldn’t keep herself from sneering at the spoiled brat before her. 

“Is that so?!” Sunset got in Applejack’s face, “You country folk really aren’t that bright.” Sunset sneered to match AJ’s own as she slid Applejack’s Stetson over her face, “Must be why the other students say such awful things about you.” Applejack was so mad her face had turned red and steam was streaming from the inside of her hat. 

“Obviously I’m going to win, I’m running unopposed,” Sunset smirked.

“Not this time, the new girl, Twilight Sparkle, just signed up!” Pinkie chirped. 

“WHAT?! Where is she?” Pinkie and AJ glanced at each other. Was it just them, or was Sunset acting more like a Saturday Cartoon villain every day?

Meanwhile, Tom, having made good his escape as far as he knew, took to wandering around the school to try and familiarize himself with the population. However, his aimless walking soon took him to a badly run down hallway that seemed to him to be a back alley pulled from a film noir. It was poorly lit as to be almost pitch black and a broken locker was creaking along its hinges. 

“I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you sooner,” Sunset’s voice called out from behind Tom, “I should have known Princess Celestia would send her prize student after my crown along with her little dog too. I’ll make this real simple for you, either you go right back through that portal now, or you’ll go back a broken wreck.” Suddenly an idea sprang into Tom’s mind. He started laughing.

“Oh, Sunset, you honestly think you can intimidate me? That’s adorable,” Tom then advanced on Sunset. She stepped backwards, only to find herself against the lockers, “And that’s not the only adorable thing about you.” Tom purred while hungrily eying Sunset’s form. 

“What are you doing?!” Sunset demanded.

“You don’t get it, I’m an Alicorn. I’m everything you could have been but weren’t, because you let your ambition and impatience get the better of you. I could snuff you out like a candle. But I won’t, because Princess Celestia is yet stronger than me and she wouldn’t like it if I killed you,” Tom murmured just loud enough for Sunset to hear. Sunset went pale.

“You- you’re bluffing!” Sunset stammered, but Tom’s smile with far too many teeth made that already shaky assertion fall apart. 

“Am I, Sunset Shimmer? However, it doesn’t have to be this way,” Suddenly Tom closed the remaining distance between them, stopping just before full body contact, his lips ghosting over hers, a smoldering look in his eyes, “We could be great together, Sunset. You’re driven, intelligent, and attractive. I fancy myself an intellect as well, but I know how to toe the line around Celestia. Follow me and you could have everything you ever wanted and more. All you have to do is say ‘yes’.”

Tom made to close what little distance remained between them, but Sunset’s fight or flight response kicked in and she shoved Tom away before running like a bat out of hell. The hallway was dead silent for a few moments after Sunset’s departure. 

“WHAT WAS THAT?!” Twilight and Spike both shouted.

“I told you I was a theater nerd. I was in drama club every year since middle school and I was part of my college’s theater troupe. I like to think I know how to act just a little bit. Let me tell you, it was a whole lot easier being in a human body for that, because pony body language is a completely different beast, pardon the pun,” Spike just remained in open mouthed shock while Tom could sense Twilight’s mix of exasperation and grudgingly impressed. For his part, Tom was rather pleased with himself, if his smug expression was anything to go by.

“Still, I wonder why she stole the Element to begin with, I mean, she already seems to rule the school,” Twilight pondered. 

“Who knows? It’s probably for the best if we recover the crown before she has a chance to enact whatever evil scheme she has and go back to Equestria, never knowing for sure what she might have planned,” Tom opined.

“Well, yeah, but to do that, we need to figure out how you’re gonna win this thing,” Spike said.

“The sad thing about being a theater nerd is that my ilk was never looked at for prom king or queens, no matter what certain movies might lead you to believe,” Tom sighed, “I haven’t a clue as to how to unite the cliques against Sunset.”

“When in doubt, find a library!” Twilight suggested and so they found themselves staring at what passed for the Canterlot High newspaper’s website. It didn’t help matters that the human versions of the CMC were blasting music at full volume. 

“Well, there’s one clique that we don’t have to worry about, because it doesn’t exist!” Tom muttered. The newspaper page was utterly devoid of anything beyond regular school announcements. Twilight convinced Tom to start looking through the books, mostly because she was thirsty for new literary discoveries, but Tom couldn’t think of anything better to do, so he humored her for the rest of the day. 

It was a good thing he did, because just as the library was about to close, they stumbled upon a yearbook with a very interesting photo. It showed the human versions of Pinkie, AJ, RD, Fluttershy, and Rarity sitting together as friends. 

“The library is closing in five minutes,” The announcement came over the intercom and suddenly Twilight and Tom realized they hadn’t thought about sleeping arrangements. Fortunately for both of them, Spike had found an out of the way corner of the library where they could camp out. Once there, Tom brought the picture to Spike’s attention.

“I don’t think it’s crazy to think that Sunset had something to do with their friendship breaking up,” Twilight mused and Tom was of a similar mindset. The human counterparts of their pony friends behaved very similar to the pony versions, yet to each they had talked to had accused others of very out of character things. Fluttershy being mean or Rainbow backing out on a promise with no explanation was the examples given so far. 

The next morning, something seemed afoot as Tom exited the library. Every student looked at him and started whispering or giggling. Before he could try and figure out what was going on, he was snatched out of the hallway. When he got his bearings, he saw that Rarity was the one who had pulled him into an empty classroom. After a quick flurry of activity, she threw a disguise on him.

“There, now no one will recognize you!” Rarity sounded proud of herself.

“Why wouldn’t I want anyone to recognize me?” Tom asked, understandably confused.

“And I supposed we’ll need a disguise for your dog, as well,” Rarity mused, completely ignoring Tom, “Which is too bad, he really is so adorable. You know, with a little work, I think I can make him look like a rabbit instead.” Spike, who had been eating up Rarity’s attention, drooped when she said she wanted to make him a rabbit.

“There you are, Twilight!” Applejack burst into the room, followed by Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie.

“So much for the disguise!” Rarity pouted. 

“I like your new look!” Pinkie exclaimed as she entered the room.

“I do have an eye for these sorts of things, not that you seem to care,” Rarity sniffed,

“WHAT?!” Pinkie squawked. 

“Why do you think she doesn’t care?” Tom was feeling more and more lost, but decided to drop the subject when it looked like Pinkie was about to blow her top.

“Would any of you care to tell me what the hell is going on here?!” Tom finally shouted.

“Oh, she hasn’t seen it yet,” Fluttershy murmured. Pinkie then pulled out a laptop, pulled up YouTube, and showed Tom, Twilight, and Spike a video. It was a recording of the time Tom spent in the library along with Sunset dramatically narrating over him absentmindedly doing things like the rubber pencil trick and chewing on said pencil with filters placed over it. 

“This is what has everyone so worked up? Good God, you people must have absolutely nothing else to gossip about! I chewed a pencil, oh the horror. Aren’t teenagers supposed to be talking about who fucked who and which football player is dating which cheerleader this particular week?” 

“You don’t understand,” Fluttershy said sadly, “Sunset posted this video. Her word is law. If she says to ridicule you, then that’s what people are going to do.”

“Not to sound like a tired cliché, but if Sunset told you to jump off a bridge..?” Tom trailed off, everyone knew the saying. Fluttershy then offered her support, but that somehow set off a domino effect that led to AJ, Pinkie, Rarity, and Fluttershy all bickering with one another. There was only so much Tom could take, and he soon hit his limit.

“ENOUGH, ALL OF YOU!” Tom finally shouted over their arguments. The others fell silent, “Look at yourselves; you used to be friends, if this picture is to be believed.” Tom showed them the picture in the yearbook, “Now you’re snapping at each other like a pack of starving wolves.”

“I remember that picture. It was taken at the Freshman Fair,” Applejack said wistfully. 

“I think Sunset Shimmer has been sabotaging your friendship,” Tom announced, which got the others talking about the perceived slights and they all soon realized that some outside party had been pretending to be members of their group and had sent lies around to make them think they had been slighted. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that someone was Sunset Shimmer.

“Isn’t the power of open lines of dialogue an amazing thing?” Tom asked rhetorically. In that spirit, AJ tracked down Rainbow and cleared the air between them. Rainbow then came over to speak to Tom.

“So you’re looking to dethrone Sunset and be the Fall Formal Princess, eh?” She asked as she looked over Tom. 

“That’s the plan,” Tom confirmed.

“Gotta say, I’d really love to see that happen. I’ll totally help you out, all you gotta do is beat me in a game of one on one,” Rainbow challenged. The rules were simple. Whoever made it to five goals first would win. Tom tried, bless him he tried, but Rainbow Dash was a born and bred athlete. Against a weekend warrior like Tom, who was in the body of a soft nerd named Twilight Sparkle, Dash completely cleaned up. At the end, Tom wound up sprawled out on the ground, panting heavily.

“Curse you Twilight, and your lack of physical education!” Tom whisper shouted so no one would hear him except Twilight. 

“I stand by my decisions,” Twilight said impudently.

“So how can I help you beat Sunset?” Rainbow asked as she helped Tom to his feet.

“But I lost.” Tom said.

“Well duh, I’m awesome. But I’m not going to help just anyone. You gotta have heart and determination, which you proved to me you have in spades. Even when I was crushing you, you didn’t give up. That says a lot in my book,” Rainbow explained. 

The group gathered at the human version of the Sugar Cube Corner to talk strategy and to get something to eat. 

“Alright girls, the Formal is tomorrow night and we need a plan and we need it fast,” Applejack took the lead, “Right now folks only know Twilight from the video Sunset posted. We need to get them to see her differently.”

“I’ve got it!” Rarity suddenly screamed, drawing the attention of everyone in the store, and probably the city block. She then unveiled her plan. During their freshman year, wearing fake pony ears and tails were a way to show school spirit. Rarity wanted to use them in order to rally school spirit around Tom and Twilight. 

“It’s a lot better than anything I can think of, which is exactly nothing. Let’s do it!” Tom threw his support in behind the plan and so did the rest of the group. 

The next day at lunch, Tom was inducted into his first Heartsong. It was very weird to him, having the lyrics and choreographed dance suddenly downloaded into his head and hearing Twilight’s voice coming out touched up for the singing, but Twilight assured him it was normal and to just roll with it. Soon the whole school was sucked into the Heartsong. 

After lunch, suddenly everyone was wearing ears and tails, but the smile on Sunset’s face put everyone ill at ease. Everyone soon learned what the smile was about. Sunset and her lackeys had ruined Pinkie’s preparations for the Fall Formal and she was looking to frame Tom for the misdeeds. 

So that was how Tom found himself under interrogation for the crime of vandalism of school property by Vice Principal Luna. 

“I’m innocent!” Tom protested.

“This is clearly you in the photographs, isn’t it?” Luna asked. Tom looked at the photos, then back at the vice principal.

“Are you serious? Did you even LOOK at these things? She literally cut out photos of me and pasted them onto other pictures! You can even see the edges of the cut!” While he was talking, he worked to peel off the pasted images, “Didn’t even use Photoshop…” 

When he finished, the picture that was underneath clearly showed Snips and Snails trashing the gym. 

“I don’t suppose you want me to fetch you a drink to help wash down that slice of humble pie, would you Vice Principal Luna?” Tom asked, only the slightest hint of venom in his voice. 

“No, I deserve it for taking anything Sunset Shimmer says at face value…” Luna seemed somewhat disgusted with herself, which eased Tom’s ire. Luna then told him how the Fall Formal would have to be delayed until the next night due to the damages. 

“Tomorrow night will be too late! The portal will have closed!” Twilight shrieked. Tom ran all the way to Carousel Boutique where he found the others waiting.

“The Fall Formal isn’t happening tonight!” He announced.

“WHAT?!” Pinkie screamed.

“The damage to Pinkie’s preparations was too great,” Tom explained.

“WHAT?!” Pinkie screamed again.

“But the Fall Formal has to happen tonight,” Tom said. Pinkie tried to scream a third time, but AJ threw her hand over the pink one’s mouth. 

“Why is it so important that it happen tonight?” Applejack asked.

“Well, you see,” Tom started to explain, but Pinkie broke free.

“You’re from an alternate world where you’re a pony princess there and the crown actually has a magical element embedded in it that helps power up others magical elements and without it they don’t work anymore and you need them to help protect your magical world and if you don’t get the crown tonight you’ll be stuck in this world and you won’t be able to get back for, like, a really really really long time!” Pinkie could truly be frightening. Spike’s and Tom’s jaws dropped and Twilight did the best she could, given her circumstances. 

“Yeah…I’m pretty sure that isn’t the reason,” Rainbow Dash said reasonably. 

“Nope, she’s pretty much spot on,” Spike recovered from his shock first and let the cat, or the dog as the case may be, out of the bag.

“He can talk?!” Rarity exclaimed.

“Oh yeah, and back where I come from, I’m not even a dog! I’m a ferocious fire breathing dragon!” Spike exaggerated, but Tom was still rebooting his brain, so he couldn’t call Spike out on it. Naturally, when confronted with a talking animal, Fluttershy shoved everyone out of her way to get close to him.

“This. Is. So. Amazing!” She gasped as she got down on her hands and knees, “Tell me, what are you thinking?!”

“I sure could use a scratch behind the old ears,” He said as he sauntered up to Rarity. She was also still rebooting her brain, “Maybe later.”

“Don’t question it, it’s Pinkie Pie! Don’t question it, it’s Pinkie Pie! Don’t question it, it’s Pinkie Pie! Don’t question it, it’s Pinkie Pie! GODDAMNIT, how did you know?!” Tom finally snapped. 

“Just a hunch,” Pinkie shrugged. Tom looked like he was about to blow a gasket, so Applejack intervened. 

“Wait a minute; let me get this straight, you’re a pony?” She asked.

“I was. Right now I’m human because the portal between our worlds apparently has a transmogrification spell to help fit in with the locals,” Tom answered.

“You’re a princess?” Rarity asked in a daze.

“You’re from another world?” Fluttershy asked before Tom could answer Rarity’s question.

“Yes,” Tom answered Fluttershy, and he wasn’t even stretching the truth. If they assumed he was answering Rarity as well, he wasn’t going to correct their misconceptions. 

“That. Is. AWESOME!” Rainbow shouted. Eventually they calmed down and decided to head over to the school to try and fix what Sunset’s goons had broken. 

“Well, it’s not going to be easy, but we’ve got to try,” Tom said and soon found himself caught up in another Heartsong. During the course of which, more and more students started pouring in to help the cleanup efforts. 

“You know, it’s amazing how productive these Heartsong things are. Also somewhat violating, but I’d rather not dwell on that,” Tom remarked.

“Heartsongs aren’t violating! They’re uplifting and motivating! Have you done anything you didn’t want to do during them?” Twilight demanded.

“Well, no, but I think in this case we’ll just agree to disagree,” Tom said and Twilight decided to let the issue drop for the moment.

Through their efforts, the Fall Formal was back on schedule, but unknown to the rest of the school, Sunset Shimmer and her goons had been lurking in a supply closet the whole time. 

“Next time I tell you to make a mess of things, try and show a little restraint! I need this Formal to happen tonight just as much as she does,” With these ominous words she watched as the rest of the school cast their votes for Fall Formal Princess.

Later that evening, back at the Carousel Boutique, the group prepared for the Formal, which meant changing clothes. So it was that Tom found himself standing in the changing booth with the dress Rarity had made for him, feeling intensely self-conscious and embarrassed. 

“Just change already. It’s not like I care if you see a human version of me naked. It’s your society with the nudity taboo, not mine,” Twilight said as if she hadn’t a care in the world.

“If you ever wind up in a stallion’s body and have to look at his dick, be sure to tell me how absolutely not awkward that is, taboo or no. Also, you have a human counterpart and I’m 100% sure she wouldn’t appreciate having a random guy seeing her naked.” Twilight had the decency to be abashed and Tom steeled himself. 

The first step would be undressing. He knew enough from the time he had lost a bet and had to play a Shakespearian role in the traditional way, that is, dressed as a woman, to know the mechanics of getting undressed, but it was either his imagination, or there was a draft that blew over the now exposed skin in ways he really didn’t want to think about. He caught sight of himself naked in a full body mirror, but quickly turned away and grabbed the dress. He was eternally grateful that Rarity had taken into consideration that Twilight had never worn human clothing and had thus built a bra into the dress itself. So he slipped on the dress and the panties Rarity had provided to go with the dress and made his first public appearance. 

Tom forced himself to act all cheerful and giggly, but he was quickly growing emotionally exhausted. Pretending to be something you’re not for hours will always take a toll, but of course the toll will vary for how hard you’re trying to fool your audience and how out of character it is for you. Tom was pretending to be a happy, giggling teenage girl and no one could be allowed to doubt that visage. Not when he, Twilight, and Spike needed that crown so badly. 

The night wore on and finally, mercifully, Celestia came on stage and announced the winner of the Fall Formal was Twilight Sparkle. Just as Tom accepted the crown, however, Snips and Snails kidnapped Spike.

“HELP!” He shouted as Snips and Snails hustled him out the door. Tom bolted after them and the rest of his friends were close behind. They followed Snips and Snails to the courtyard, where the portal was. Sunset Shimmer was there also, holding a sledgehammer. 

“Don’t you dare harm a single hair on his head!” Tom snarled.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, I’m not a monster,” Sunset said and ordered her goons to let Spike go, “It’s simple, give me the crown now, or I smash the portal and you never get to go home.”

“A question for you, wouldn’t the sledgehammer just go flying through the portal?” Tom asked.

“I was somewhat hoping you wouldn’t realize that, but it doesn’t particularly matter,” Sunset said and she suddenly sprinted at Tom. Caught off guard, he didn’t defend himself or dodge. He fell with Sunset and the crown went flying. Thus began a dangerous game of keep away, which ended when Sunset managed to place the Element of Magic upon her own head, causing it to activate. 

“More power, more power than I could ever imagine,” The more Tom listened to her, the more she sounded like Gollum to him. Then the Element burst with magical energy, rising Sunset up, but the look on her face was one of immense pain, before the magic surged and Sunset was transformed into what could only be described as a demoness. 

“The Element of Magic is the One Ring, got it,” Tom muttered to himself as Demon Sunset transformed Snips and Snails into demons as well. She then reveled her plans as she made mind controlled slaves of the rest of the school. She was going to use her newfound powers along with her slaves to conquer Equestria. Given she could probably also mind control the ponies on the other side of the portal, Tom didn’t think it was a bad plan. 

“You do realize you’re not going to win, don’t you?” Tom asked.

“Oh, please, what do you think you can do to stop me?” Sunset taunted, “I have magic, and you don’t!”

“Did you think I was bluffing when we talked earlier?” Demon Sunset flinched slightly at the memory of that conversation. 

“She may not have magic, but she has us!” Dash, ever the loyal one, was first to step up in defiance of Sunset. The group linked hands and stared down Demon Sunset. She laughed at them and threw a plasma ball at the group, assured of her victory. When the smoke settled to reveal a magenta shield surrounding them, Demon Sunset was shocked. Tom was playing it up for all he was worth, ignoring his heart pounding like a jackhammer and Twilight’s repeated ‘thank goodness’. 

“Yo, Sunset, the words ‘magic is friendship’ mean anything to you?” He taunted, “It works the other way around too, and friendship is magic!” With that declaration, the Element of Magic responded with a beam of magic shot straight at the group. They were each transformed into pony hybrids.

“You may be wearing the crown, but it is still an Element of Harmony. It still responds to the values which it represents. That’s why you could never win. You have no friendship in your heart,” Tom and Twilight said together. With hands linked the group floated into the air and called down a rainbow laser upon the demoness. When the light show was over, the masses were freed of the mind control, Snips and Snails were no longer demons, and Sunset was back as a human, deep in a crater. Tom signaled the others to stay back and slid down into the crater.

“You ok there, Sunset?” She was trembling like a drug addict going through withdrawal, but clearly alive.

“I was so wrong…so very, very wrong,” Sunset murmured.

“You know, I know a story that seems very applicable to this situation and it happens to be one of my favorites. I’d like to tell it to you,” Hearing no objections, he continued.

“This is a story about a young man named Alma. Alma’s father was a prophet and leader of the church, but Alma was a prideful and rebellious young man. He bullied and cheated and harassed members of the church and led many astray. His father prayed to God that Alma would turn away from his sins. In answer to these prayers, God sent an angel to speak with Alma. Alma was so shocked that he collapsed. While in that state, he relived every sin and saw every person he had led astray and made to see them for the iniquity they were. He repented and after two days and two nights, he was restored. After that, he spent the rest of his days serving the Lord and repairing what he had done. That’s an abridged version, of course, but the parallels are pretty plain to see,” Tom finished the story.

“Yeah, I’m the foolish sinner who was so sure she was right, until an angel came around and smacked some sense into me,” Sunset let out a self-deprecating bark of laughter. 

“Well, that just means soon we’ll get to the part where you get your happily ever after. You’ll do good things and everyone will love you and you’ll realize that the love and adoration you always wanted only comes from being a good person and so on and so forth,” Tom paraphrased Twilight’s input.

“I don’t know about that. I did a lot of awful things,” Sunset pulled her legs into her chest.

“Well, from where I’m sitting, you’ve got a couple of options. One: you could come back with me to Equestria,” Tom suggested. Sunset got an apprehensive look on her face, “If you’re afraid of Celestia, don’t be. I’m sure she’ll forgive you if you apologize.”

“I feel like I should be able to somewhat forgive myself before asking Celestia to forgive me. That will probably be a long time coming,” Sunset grimaced. 

“Your call, but I do think the sooner you two talk, the happier both of you will be. Anyway, your next best bet is to stick around here and make amends. I bet the others would be willing to teach you all about friendship if I ask,” Tom said.

“Thanks, Twilight, you’re sweet,” Sunset said before pecking Tom on the cheek. He felt himself blushing.

“You do realize I was acting in the hallway, right?” He asked nervously.

“Yeah, I figured it out right after I got over that heart attack you gave me. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t sexy as all hell,” Sunset purred. 

“Uh, portal closing gotta go!” Tom climbed out of the crater to his waiting friends. 

“So?” Rainbow prompted.

“She has tasted the rainbow,” RD rolled her eyes at the bad joke, “She has now seen the error of her ways and converted to the side of good, but she’s going to need you all to show her the way forward.”

Tom collected the Element of Magic and with one final group hug, made for the portal.

“Well, aren’t you a smooth operator?” Twilight teased.

“I’m not interested in any seventeen year old girl,” Tom groused.

“She’s twenty five,” Twilight corrected.

“What?! How do you know that?” Tom demanded.

“Well, it’s an educated guess, based on the extrapolation of my age against her time as Princess Celestia’s student and her time spent here. I mean, back home, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow are all twenty one, Applejack and Rarity are twenty, and I’m the youngest at nineteen. Going off what you’ve told me, this body is approximately seventeen and going off the pictures from Principal Celestia’s office, Sunset got sent here in a fourteen year old body. I honestly have no idea why there are these age fluctuations, but there you go,” Before Tom could respond, he stepped into the portal and was whisked away in the riot of color and noise. 

“Tom! Twilight! Spike!” The room erupted as Tom came through the portal with Spike hot on his heels.

“We’re safe and successful,” Tom assured them.

“What about Sunset Shimmer?” Celestia asked.

“We hit her in the face with the rainbow laser and she saw the error of her ways. However, she’s not ready to come back yet. She wants to find some peace with herself first,” Tom reported, “She may also have a crush on me, I’m not sure.” He immediately regretted bringing it up.

“TELL ME EVERYTHING!” Rarity demanded. 

“Easy girl, I’m seventy percent sure she was just teasing me,” Tom tried to ward off the white unicorn, but she would not be denied. She eventually extracted every excruciating detail from Tom.

Given Tom and Twilight had missed the Summit due to unforeseen circumstances, there was no reason for the Bearers to stay in the Crystal Empire for longer than it was necessary to say goodbye to Shining Armor and Cadence. However, before the train arrived at the station, Shining Armor pulled Tom aside.

“Listen, I’m just a dumb guard who married way better than he deserved,” Shining Armor began, “So I don’t get everything that’s going on with you and Twily, but I do know that neither of you wanted this and you’re both stuck like this. So, I guess what I want to say is, please take care of my baby sister. She’s the only one I have.”

Tom briefly considered making a lighthearted remark, but he saw the look in Shining Armor’s eyes. The look of a big brother deeply worried about a younger sibling. A look his own brother had given him what seemed like a lifetime ago.

“I’m not in the habit of making promises I can’t keep, so I can’t promise you I can keep her safe without fail. I will promise you that I will do everything in my power to keep her safe for as long as I’m stuck in her body. Even if it requires more of me than I am able to give,” Tom replied. The two looked each other in the eyes, before Shining Armor nodded once. He was trained as a soldier. He understood. 

The train pulled into the station and final goodbyes were said as the Bearers boarded the train. In short order the passengers were all boarded and the train pulled out of the station.

“Tom, I would never expect you to…you know…” Twilight tried to skirt around the subject.

“I know,” Was all Tom would say on the subject. Twilight tried to bring it up a few more times on the train ride, but was steadfastly ignored. As far as Tom was concerned, there was nothing else to say. There was simply a promise with an older brother who was justifiably concerned for his younger sister. 

“What was your family like?” Twilight, fed up with being stonewalled, decided to try something else when they arrived back in Ponyville. Twilight’s use of past tense stung Tom more than he cared to admit. 

“We were a normal middle income suburban family. There was my mom, my dad, and older brother. My older brother, Joseph, was five years older than me and he joined up with the military at nineteen. Last I heard he was going into training to become part of a Special Forces group known as the Navy SEALs. My mom was a homemaker and my dad supported us with his job as an accountant. We were pretty much boringly average, but we were happy. The worst part of all this is not knowing what they think happened to me or how much they’re worrying.” The words spilled out of Tom’s mouth without his consent, but once they started he couldn’t stop them. 

“I’m sorry,” Twilight whispered morosely.

“Don’t,” Tom ordered, “Don’t apologize. If you start apologizing, I’m going to start crying and carrying on and we’ll be up all night. The only thing you’re guilty of is messing around with magic you didn’t fully understand. Everything else is just unfortunate circumstances.”

“I suppose…” Twilight didn’t sound convinced to Tom, but he wasn’t of a mind to force the issue. He was deeply exhausted, so after lazily throwing the suitcase he had brought into a corner, he fell onto Twilight’s bed and was asleep instantly.

Spike looked on, wanting to help in some way, but not knowing what to do. Well, that wasn’t entirely accurate. There was one thing he could do. He pulled out Twilight’s blanket and draped it over them.

“Goodnight, Tom, Twilight, pleasant dreams,” He whispered before curling up in his basket and likewise falling asleep. 

As the inhabitants of Golden Oaks Library slept peacefully, something began stirring. An ancient thing that even its creator had all but forgotten about, soon it would rise up to fulfill its purpose.
> Discord's Folly
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, A Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 4: Discord's Folly


“How did I let Celestia talk me into this?” Tom complained.

“Because you’re pretending to be me and I’d do just about anything for Princess Celestia,” Twilight remarked.

“Quit your bellyaching, it’s not going to be that bad,” Rainbow assured Tom.

The object of this conversation was an aerial performance Celestia had planned on getting Twilight to do for the Summer Sun Celebration. Tom had gleaned that it was one part Summer Solstice and two parts Nightmare Moon’s defeat. Since he was now piloting Twilight’s body this meant the responsibility fell to him to make sure Equestria’s newest princess didn’t make a complete fool of herself before the entire populace. 

“Y’all could be doin’ worse. S’far as I can see ya just need to not land where anypony can see ya,” Applejack encouraged. 

“Flying from point A to point B is one thing. Aerial acrobatics is a whole other story!” Tom snapped.

“Sounds like somebody is afraid,” Pinkie taunted. 

“I’m not five, Pinkie, nor am I Marty McFly. Calling me chicken isn’t enough to get a rise out of me,” Tom said coolly. 

“Nuts! I was sure that would work!” Pinkie frowned to herself. 

“Look, Tom, you’re getting inside your own head, psyching yourself out. Just relax and everything will be fine,” Rainbow assured with her usual self-confidence. 

“Easy for you to say, you’ve always had wings,” Tom grumbled. 

“Really, darling, we’re your friends, would we steer you wrong?” Rarity asked. 

“Not intentionally,” Tom said impudently. Rarity shot him a look. 

“I believe in you,” Fluttershy opined softly. 

“Well, that does it. If Fluttershy believes in me, there must be something to this insanity,” Tom acceded.

“We knew you’d come around eventually,” Rarity smiled, “It’s just a shame we won’t be here to see it. If only Mayor Mare didn’t need us in Ponyville so desperately.”

“I’ll be sure to let you sign my cast afterwards,” Tom snarked. 

“That’s my bones you’re so flippantly talking about breaking!” Twilight protested.

“And you won’t feel a thing, so your complaining rights are revoked,” Tom declared. 

Before the conversation could continue, a clock tower began to chime the hour.

“Oh my, is it that time already?” Fluttershy said.

“Looks like we’d better get goin’” Applejack remarked. Tom, Twilight, and Spike followed the other Element Bearers to the train station for a final farewell. 

“See you all soon, and don’t be strangers,” Tom bid. Before Tom could realize what was about to happen, he was wrapped up in a group hug.

“We could never ever be strangers! We’re bestest of friends!” Pinkie assured him.

“We’ll see you all again in a few days,” Fluttershy reminded.

“I know, but I’ll still miss you, especially on the Summer Sun Celebration,” Twilight said sadly. Tom passed the message along.

“Don’t you worry about it! Your auntie Pinkie Pie will take lots and lots of pictures and tell you everything so it’ll be just like the three of you were really there with us!” Pinkie promised. 

“We both appreciate it,” Tom replied. The warning whistle for the train blew and final goodbyes were said before the other Bearers boarded the train and departed. Once they were out of sight, Tom let out a hearty sigh.

“Well, time to face Twilight’s adoring public.”

“Come on, dude, it can’t be that bad,” Spike said.

“You can’t address me like that,” Tom reminded Spike, “I’m Twilight, Princess of Friendship and Rainbow Lasers.”

“I don’t remember being dubbed Princess of Rainbow Lasers,” Twilight snarked. 

“Trust me, it’s in there. You should always read the fine print. Now, no more distractions, let’s go,” Tom said.

Tom didn’t have to fake the embarrassment during the walk from the train station back to the castle. Ponies taking note and bowing to him, some of which Twilight recognized. Both pony and human feared the face they were forced to share would ignite from how heavy the blushing was. 

“You know, we’re far enough ahead of schedule that we could have gone with them. The Celebration isn’t for a couple of days,” Spike pointed out once they had arrived back at Twilight’s Tower. 

“To what end? We’d just be dragging out the goodbyes and they have their own duties to attend to. We’d just get underfoot. Also, as Twilight is fond of reminding me, anything could go wrong between today and the Celebration, doubly so if we should visit Ponyville. Her current favorite doomsday scenario is the train exploding in marvelous fashion while on the way back to Canterlot,” Tom replied.

“Really? That’s a bit excessive, even for you, Twilight,” Spike chided.

“I know, but I can’t help it!” Twilight whined. 

“Sounds like somepony could use a bit of a break,” Celestia remarked as she entered the door to Twilight’s Tower.

“Afternoon, Princess,” Tom greeted. 

“And a good afternoon to you as well, Tom,” Celestia returned. Twilight prompted Tom to bow, but all he gave was a tilt of the head, much to her frustration.

“So what brings you?” Tom asked.

“I wanted to thank all of you and Twilight for your hard work. Thanks to you, I may finally be able to enjoy a Summer Sun Celebration,” Celestia replied.

“What?” Twilight and Tom were equally confused.

“For my subjects, the Summer Sun Celebration was primarily a celebration of my defeat of Nightmare Moon, my sister Luna,” Celestia explained, “Every year it was a reminder of what I’d done to her. Now, I hope to enjoy it with her.” 

A memory of one of Twilight’s past escapades came to the forefront of Tom’s mind.

“I can’t imagine Nightmare Night ranks among your favorite holidays either,” He remarked.

“Yes and no,” Celestia admitted, “On the one hoof, Nightmare Night was all about demonizing what Luna had become. On the other, it created a chasm between the reality of her fall and the fiction of the old mare’s tale. Given the choice between real life monster and foal-hood boogey mare, I saw the latter as preferable.”

“Er, letter for Princess Twilight,” A nervous looking Pegasus stallion chose that time to come flying in. Tom grasped it in a telekinetic field and thanked him before he departed.

“May I?” Tom asked.

“Of course,” Celestia said and that was all the permission he needed to open it up. Confetti and streamers exploded out of the envelope, “Letter from Ponyville?”

“What could have possibly given that away?” Tom drawled, a smile threatening to break out. 

“I shall leave you to it then,” With that, Celestia departed. However, as she made her way back to her own quarters, she didn’t see a single black vine creep its way towards her until it was too late.

The next day, Tom awoke to a very odd sight. The sun and moon were both hanging proudly in the sky, the sun occupying the left half and the moon on the right half.

“Twilight, was there an eclipse today?” Tom asked.

“No, there wasn’t. I think something’s very wrong,” Twilight answered.

“Well, I think when Artemis and Apollo are trying to tango like that, ‘very wrong’ may be an understatement,” Tom snarked.

“Do you think one of the Princesses got sick or something?” Spike wondered.

“Let’s go see,” Tom said and so they went in hunt of the Princesses. Unfortunately, their hunt was sidetracked by the civilians massing at the palace for answers.

“Princess Twilight will know what’s going on!” One of the crowd exclaimed and suddenly Tom found himself besieged by ponies. Fortunately the Royal Guard showed up soon after to perform crowd control and inform Tom, Twilight, and Spike of the current situation.

“Princesses Luna and Celestia have gone missing!” The guard who had fetched them out of the crowd informed them.

“Were there any ransom notes in either of their rooms?” Tom asked.

“No, Princess. We haven’t turned up anything of the sort. Both just vanished without a trace. We can’t even find any signs of a struggled,” The guard reported, “We await your command, Princess Twilight.”

“I saw Princess Celestia myself late yesterday afternoon. Establish a search grid spanning Canterlot to Ponyville. Those are the only two settled zones in a hundred miles. If they aren’t somewhere in that area, we can only assume their kidnappers were numerous enough and skilled enough to form a teleport chain, in which case they could be anywhere on Equus. Let’s hope that isn’t the case.”

“Yes, ma’am!” The guard saluted and went off to deliver the orders. 

“I couldn’t have done it better myself,” Twilight said, “Actually, I probably would have panicked, so, better than me, actually.”

“You’ve led the Bearers for a year now, I don’t think you’d crack under pressure like that,” Tom remarked. Before Twilight could reply, the doors burst open, admitting a different guard.

“News from Ponyville!” He shouted, “The Everfree Forest appears to be, well, invading!” 

“Our friends!” Twilight exclaimed, “Get the Element of Magic and let’s go!”

Tom bolted as fast as he could to Twilight’s Tower to collect the crown with the Element in it. Once he had placed it on his head, he pulled Spike onto his back and, using everything Rainbow had taught him, made full speed for Ponyville. 

“What the hell is wrong with these clouds?!” Tom shouted as he approached Ponyville. All across the sky were black clouds with spines poking out. They also seemed to move however they pleased as Tom had to suddenly dodge out of the way more than once, leaving Spike a bit motion sick.

“I don’t know, but can you take it easy?! I think I’m gonna be sick…” Spike groaned.

“If you puke on me, you’ll never hear the end of it!” Tom threatened. Fortunately, a few moments later they spotted Golden Oaks Library. Wary of one of his spectacular crash landings, he instead teleported inside, which seemed like a good idea in his head, but in practice he forgot that teleportation carries over momentum. The result was Spike and Tom pancaked on the wall of the library. 

“Oh, thank goodness you’re here!” Rarity exclaimed as Tom and Spike peeled themselves off the wall. 

“Sweet ground, sweet ground!” Spike chanted as he kissed the floor.

“Oh, don’t be such a drama queen,” Tom grumbled, “My flying isn’t that bad. It’s just the landings…”

“Your landings deserve a spot on the Whinness Book of World Records,” Spike snarked. 

“I don’t know if either of you have noticed, but the Everfree Forest is just the teeny tiniest bit out of control!” Pinkie exclaimed. Just then her tail started twitching, so she ducked. A split second later a large black vine burst through a window and slammed into Rarity. 

“Would you happen to know anything about what’s going on, Twilight?” Fluttershy asked.

“I’ve never seen anything like these vines before,” Twilight admitted, which Tom relayed. 

“The good news doesn’t stop there. The reason the sky is split between Night and Day is because Luna and Celestia have both vanished without a trace,” Tom revealed to the other Element Bearers. He felt the group gasp was warranted; it was some really bad news, after all. Fortunately, the Elements of Harmony had remained untouched in the mess and so each Bearer donned their respective Element. 

“Got any idea where we need to point these bad boys at?” AJ asked. As it turned out, Twilight did have a suspicion, so the Bearers gathered outside. Twilight fed Tom the spellform, which he then channeled through the Element of Magic, which caused the other Elements to activate. When all was said and done, a being Tom had never seen before in a tub was summoned.

“Find you’ve got the music in you~” The being was singing before he noticed he had an audience. 

“Now, Twilight, you know Princess Celestia said you were to give me a heads up before you summon me with that little spell she gave you,” The being chastised.

“Umm, Hi,” Was all Tom could think of saying while Twilight was snarling something about Discord.

“Hold on a moment,” Discord muttered, “What’s this? Twilight’s body is under new management?” 

“You know, your voice sounds really familiar, but I can’t seem to place it,” Tom said by way of answering. Discord then snapped his fingers and a Starfleet uniform appeared on him.

“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about,” He demurred. Meanwhile Tom’s eyes threatened to engulf the rest of his head.

“Now I suppose the real question is, are you Q or is Q you? Or are you both John de Lancie?” Tom mused and Discord allowed himself a chuckle.

“I do believe we’ll get along just fine, now then, introducing one’s self is something friends do, correct? Well then, I am Discord, Lord of Chaos!” Fireworks forming Discord’s name appeared in the air.

“My name is Tom Williams,” Tom introduced himself to the draconequus, “Now that that is taken care of, would you happen to know what’s going on around here? Twilight seems to think you might, if the way she wants to place all the world’s ills at your feet is any indication.”

“I do not!” Twilight protested, “He’s not responsible for…quesadillas…”

“You’re not helping your case, Twilight,” Tom quipped. 

“Well, as much as this place is better for the renovations, I’m afraid I can’t take credit,” Discord said as he started painting the landscape, “I’m reformed, after all.”

“Yeah, right! This has your cloven hooves all over it!” Rainbow barked. 

“Excuse me, but I only have one cloven hoof,” Discord corrected, as said limb detached itself to give Rainbow a swift kick in the rear.

“Well, if you didn’t do it, would you at least happen to know of a way to put things back to normal?” Tom asked.

“What kind of draconequus do you take me for? Chaos is my thing,” Discord said before pulling a deck of cards from nowhere and showing Tom a joker that had his face on it, “Putting things back to ‘normal’ would go against my mission statement.” The joker said.

“Fair enough,” Tom acceded. A thought struck him. “Could you at least put things in a chaotic state that we can handle on our own?” Discord looked at Tom with a measuring gaze.

“You ask good questions. Not at all like the Purple Book Horse. She’s so wrapped up in her own checklists I’m afraid they might choke her one of these days,” Discord mused.

“Is that a threat?” Rainbow snarled.

“Merely an observation, really, you need to learn not to take things so personally,” Discord drawled. Before Rainbow could make a rebuttal, a lone Zebra pulling a cart made her way out of the Everfree.

“Zecora!” The group exclaimed and rushed to see if their friend needed any assistance. She was carrying what seemed to be all her worldly possessions with her.

“From the Everfree, I’ve had to flee. It has grown too wild, even for me,” Zecora rhymed.

“And here I was hoping she’d at least have some idea what was going on with these plants,” Twilight sighed. 

“So just to be clear, ya’ll have no idea what’s up with these consarned weeds?” Applejack asked.

“I’m afraid it’s a mystery to me as well, but I may have something that could help, when combined with a spell. I dare not use it myself, the results would be tragic. It only responds to Alicorn magic.” Zecora then pulled out a flask of purple liquid.

“Well, that’s convenient, ‘cause we’ve got one Alicorn right here!” Pinkie exclaimed. 

“Princess Twilight, you can turn the potion from purple to white, then maybe you will find out why the sky is torn between day and night. 

“I’m not exactly thrilled about quaffing strange liquids, but if you say it’ll help, Zecora, I trust you,” Tom said warily.

“As much as I wish it were not true, anything but Dark Magic will turn the potion from purple to blue,” Zecora warned. 

“Thus rendering it worthless, I presume. Ok,” Tom sighed.

“Are you sure about this, Tom? I know I’ve cast Dark Magic before and I didn’t feel clean for weeks. There’s no telling what it could do to you!” Twilight protested, but by way of answering, Tom charged up the spell and turned the potion from purple to white. Zecora gave an encouraging smile as Tom picked up the flask in his magic and chugged the potion. Tom stopped drinking after about half the potion for a breath of air.

“So, do I need to drink the whole thing or-” His question was cut off by the potion activating.

“Uh, where are we?” Twilight asked as she looked around.

“I’d like to know that too,” Twilight’s head snapped to the side, realizing she had control just as she spotted a human male standing next to her.

“Tom, is that you?!” She squawked.

“Yeah, it would seem so,” Tom shrugged.

“This is amazing! You’re you again and I’ve got my body back!” Twilight cheered.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. What’s one of the things Dark Magic is best at?” Tom asked Twilight.

“Illusion- oh, this is all in our head…” Twilight deflated.

“Hey, don’t look so down. You’ll make me think you don’t like sharing headspace with me,” Tom teased to try and lighten the mood. Twilight offered him a weak smile.

“I can safely say there’s no one I’d rather be stuck with, even if you are a lunatic sometimes,” Tom snorted with amusement, but before the two could continue their conversation-

“Not another step!” The commanding voice of Princess Luna burst across the room as she stepped out from behind the thrones in the room. 

“Well, this outta be good,” Tom quipped.

“Didst thou really think We’d sit idly by whilst they all basked in thy precious light?” Luna spat, looking past where Twilight and Tom were standing. The two looked in the direction of her gaze and spotted Princess Celestia. Luna climbed up into the balcony to continue her tirade.

“There canst only be one Princess in Equestria and that Princess SHALL BE ME!” With that declaration, Luna slammed down her forelegs and shattered the balcony and the window directly behind it. Sunlight poured into the room, before Luna raised the moon to cover the sun. 

Suddenly the shadows grew longer and darker than even the sudden nightfall could explain and Luna started to clutch at her head as if griped by a terribly headache. Directly thereafter, she started thrashing about like she was in the throes of a seizure.

“No… stop…” Luna moaned piteously.

“LUNA!” Twilight shouted in concern, but Tom placed a hand on her shoulder.

“This is a vision of the past, I’m guessing. You can’t help what’s already happened,” Tom said softly.

“Next time we see Luna, we’re giving her a hug, royal decorum be hanged,” Twilight decided. 

“Your wish is my command, O Princess,” Tom teased as Luna was engulfed in the shadows, signifying when Nightmare Moon took over. The Nightmare laughed madly over her new conquest and as if testing out her new power, shot laser beams all over the place, causing some of the roof to come crashing down. Tom and Twilight got out of the way instinctually. Celestia stepped forward.

“Luna, thou must lower thy moon, it is thine duty! I shall not fight you!” Celestia declared.

“Luna? Nay, I am Nightmare Moon! I have but one Royal Duty now, to destroy you!" Nightmare Moon attacked, but Celestia dodged and flew out of the hole in the roof. Nightmare Moon and Twilight followed on wing. After a moment of consideration, Tom was able to follow as well.

“I thought you didn’t fly?” Twilight asked as she kept one eye on the battling sisters.

“It’s in our head, anything goes,” Tom shrugged. After a few minutes of Nightmare Moon chasing after Celestia, one of her bolts of magic struck true, and Celestia fell back into the throne room.

“I know it’s in the past, but I don’t like watching Luna being forced to hurt Celestia…” Twilight said sadly. 

“At least we can take comfort in that we know how this story ends. Celestia rallies the Elements, sticks Nightmare and Luna on the moon for a thousand years, and then you and the rest of the Bearers came along and freed Luna,” Tom pointed out. Twilight took a steadying breath. 

“You’re right. I can take comfort in that. Although, I’d be feeling a whole lot better if I knew how this was related to Celestia’s and Luna’s vanishing in the present,” Twilight complained.

“Well, let’s just watch. Maybe a clue will present itself. Or maybe we’re on a wild goose chase,” Tom shrugged. Twilight stole another glance at her unconscious mentor.

“Gee, with an optimist like you around, who needs a Pinkie Pie?” Twilight drawled.

“Your sarcasm is noted, Twilight,” Tom returned as Celestia roused herself. Celestia then summoned the Elements from a hidden compartment under the floor. The white Alicorn pulled all six Elements into an orbit around her and they started spinning with astonishing speed, giving off an almost blinding light. 

As Twilight and Tom knew she must, Celestia rose to meet her corrupted sister and successfully banished her to the moon. Once that happened, the vision ended and Tom and Twilight were brought back to the present, where they found everyone staring at them.

“Do I have something on my face?” Tom asked.

“Ah, no, darling, you were just mumbling to yourself, quite a bit actually. We were a little bit worried,” Rarity explained. 

“I, for one, found it delightful!” Discord proclaimed from his spot on one of the invading vines, “Sort of a one pony theater, if you will.”

“Thank you, I did study the acting arts, after all,” Tom didn’t know why Twilight and the others had such an issue with Discord. He was a touch abrasive, sure, but otherwise Tom found him delightful. Or maybe that was just his love for De Lancie’s work as Q blinding him. 

“Did you see whose plot we need to kick or a way to fix this mess?!” Dash questioned. 

“W- I saw a vision of the past, but it didn’t enlighten me on how to deal with the present,” Tom reported. Zecora suggested another swig of the potion.

“Are you sure about this?” Spike asked hesitantly.

“It didn’t hurt me last time, so we might as well try. It’s our only lead,” Tom shrugged and drank down the potion. Before the potion could take effect, Discord popped in with a camera.

“Oh, I do so hope she breaks into a dance routine this time!” He crowed.

Twilight suddenly found herself in a land of checkerboard hills and flying fish. She looked around and saw Luna, Celestia, and Discord, but no Tom.

“Tom? Tom?! Are you here? Can you hear me?!” She got no answer. Panic started to well up inside her. Before it could consumer her, she put her hoof to her chest and did the breathing exercise Cadence taught her. 

“Right, watch the vision and hopefully find something out and then once it’s done hopefully Tom and I will be back in my body,” Deciding on that course of action, Twilight watched as Luna and Celestia confronted Discord with the Elements of Harmony. She noted that both Alicorns were in rough shape, with scrapes and bruises littered across their bodies. That was odd to Twilight, as from what Celestia had told her directly after her ascension to Alicornhood herself, Alicorns enjoyed a powerful natural healing ability. Even barring that, Celestia and Luna had to know some healing spells. So what was with the shoddy appearance? Were they trying to get Discord to underestimate them? 

Twilight didn’t think that was likely. Discord didn’t take anything seriously, as highlighted when he offered the two Alicorns snacks while laughing like a happy drunk. Even when confronted with the Elements, Discord was treating it like a big joke. He was laughing even as he turned to stone.

Instead of the vision ending there as it had last time, the vision changed to Celestia and Luna walking up to a crystal tree. 

“The Tree of Harmony…” Luna whispered in awe. 

“The Tree of Harmony?” Twilight repeated. She inspected the Tree and saw Celestia’s, Luna’s, and bizarrely her own Cutie Mark emblazoned upon it. Twilight watched quietly as Celestia and Luna harvested the Elements of Harmony from the Tree, as if they were fruit. 

The Elements hovered in the air for a moment, causing Celestia and Luna to grow worried, but soon after Magic, Loyalty, and Honest floated down to Luna, circling her gently as Laughter, Kindness, and Generosity did the same for her sister. The Elements glowed, bathing their new Bearers in a soft light before placing themselves in their saddlebags. 

“We may finally be able to defeat Discord and save all of Equuis!” Luna exclaimed happily. 

“Let us go, Sister. We must defeat Discord as swiftly as we are able,” Celestia prompted and the vision ended.

“That was…interesting,” Twilight heard her voice say.

“TOM! Where were you?! I was so worried the potion had done something to you!” Twilight felt relief flood her. Tom’s eyes flicked to Zecora.

“I think the potion showed us different visions,” Tom whispered so only Twilight could hear him, “We’ll talk later.” 

Twilight took the chance to briefly summarize what she had seen in her visions.

“So, what’d you find out?” Spike asked.

“I still don’t know where the Princesses are, but I have a good idea on how to get a handle on this vine problem. Apparently there’s this thing in the Everfree called the Tree of Harmony, it’s where the Elements originally came from. If something’s happened to it that might explain why the Everfree has suddenly turned wild. Well, more wild than usual. 

“How come we’ve never heard of this Tree of Harmony before?” Rainbow asked, “It sounds kinda important.”

“Just another question to ask Luna and Celestia when we find them,” Tom decided. 

“Uh, that begs the question, how are we gonna get into tha Forest to find that there Tree?” Applejack wondered. 

“Discord, would you make us a path through the Forest? It can be as winding and twisting as you like, even with a troubling serpentine suggestion if it suits you. We just need to not be harassed by those vines. Pretty please with hot sauce on top?” Tom asked. 

“Wellll…since you asked so nicely I’ll see to it the vines are reasonably distracted. If you run into anything other than the vines, well, that’s just bad luck. I will, however, take you up on that serpentine suggestion.” Discord replied with a hiss before snapping his fingers and slithering away. 

“Well, no time like the present. Zecora, you stay here for your own safety. We’ll take care of the Tree,” Tom declared and the eight were off into the Everfree.

“It feels like just yesterday we were all coming in here to find the Elements. Except for Tom, of course,” Rarity mused. 

“You mean the time I tried to go after the Elements all alone and you girls stuck with me despite my prickly attitude?” Twilight snarked and Tom repeated. 

“It was well worth putting up with your sass to get to the wonderful mare underneath,” Rarity assured her.

“Now, what did the visions show you, Tom?” Twilight asked.

“Not as much as yours did, but apparently Luna and Chrysalis were best friends or something before Luna met The Nightmare,” Tom reported.

“WHAT?!” The whole group shouted.

“That’s not even the worse part. Apparently Celestia told Luna that a plague had wiped out all the Changelings. The heartbreak Luna suffered is what caused The Nightmare to get its claws into Luna in the first place.” Tom continued.

“But that’s- but why-” Twilight was flabbergasted. She couldn’t even properly form a complete sentence. Why would her loving, caring mentor do something like that to her own sister?

“Uh, does Princess Luna know the Changelings and Chrysalis are still alive an’ kickin’?”

“Princess Luna did sleep through the whole invasion and I don’t think I’ve really heard anyone talk about it after Shining Armor and Princess Cadence banished the Changelings with their magic…” Rarity pointed out.

“But why would Celestia do something like that?! If Chrysalis and Luna were friends why did she attack Canterlot? None of this makes any sense!” Twilight fumed. 

“Right, there’s no use speculating until we find and ask the Princesses ourselves,” Tom decided. On that troubling note, the group continued on in silence. 

Soon their path brought them to a swamp of some kind with stones making a seemingly easy way across. Tom jumped onto the first of the rocks, only for it to turn out to be some kind of rock alligator monster.

“A cragodile! Run for your lives!” Rarity screamed and everyone bolted. It was really just bad luck that saw Twilight, Tom, and Spike pinned against a tree with the monster bearing down on them. 

“You wanna eat something? Eat this!” Tom shouted and fired a burst of magic into the creature’s maw. That stunned it just long enough for Tom to get airborne with Spike and zip over its head. The snapping jaws definitely got some tail hairs, which only spurred Twilight and Tom’s adrenaline burst to new heights. 

They caught back up with the others, with the cragodile hot on their heels. Fortunately the others hadn’t been idle. They had managed to gather up some of the vines to make lassos and with Applejack’s expert guidance, managed to hogtie the monster.

“That won’t hold this critter fer long, but I reckon we’ll be long gone by the time it gets loose,” Applejack observed. Deciding to put as much distance between them and it, the eight of them beat a hasty retreat. 

“Yah know, just ‘cuz we got lucky this time, doesn’t mean the next big monster ain’t gonna take a bite outta ya. Tom, maybe you and Twilight should go back to Ponyville, sit this one out,” Applejack said with concern.

“Why?” Tom asked with a frown.

“Well, Twi is a Princess now an’ everything. With Princess Celestia and Princess Luna missin’ and Cadence ruling the Crystal Empire, Twi’s the only leader Equestria’s got. If somethin’ were to happen to ya’ll there’s no tellin’ what kinda panic there’d be,” Applejack explained herself. Tom could feel Twilight wilting under Applejack’s logic.

“Maybe she’s right, maybe we had better go back to Ponyville.” Twilight said morosely.

“No, and here’s why,” Tom held up a hoof to forestall any arguments, “Firstly, I’ve always been a proponent of leading from the front, but that’s just personal opinion and doesn’t really have any bearing on this. Secondly, you don’t know what you’ll face when you get to the Tree. What if it requires the Elements to defeat? We all need to be there. Thirdly, along that same vein, if you run into a magical problem you’ll need Twilight to deal with it. No offence to Rarity, but she hasn’t spent her whole life studying just about everything Magic.”

“None taken, darling,” Rarity assured. Tom nodded in thanks.

“Fourthly, Twilight doesn’t know how to move the sun and moon. That means I don’t know how to move the sun and moon. Which means so long as Celestia and Luna are missing, we’re all up a creek without a paddle, regardless of where Twilight and I are. As much as I find Discord to be fun, I wouldn’t trust him to move the sun and moon in the ways they need to be moved. Kinda goes against his mission statement and all that.”

“I… ya’ll bring up some pretty good points,” Applejack acceded. 

“Now, Applejack’s points aren’t without merit either,” Rarity pointed out, “Even if we do save the Tree, that doesn’t mean we’ll find Celestia and Luna immediately after. You and Twilight are needed to lead just in case.”

“If I could be in two places at the same time, I’d agree with you one hundred percent. However, from the sound of it, this Tree of Harmony is the only reason why the Everfree hasn’t overrun Equestria a long time ago. If it is that powerful, there’s no telling what else the Tree is responsible for. It might even directly power the Elements. It is too important to let fall, so it takes top priority. I promise you, the instant we save the tree, if we haven’t found Celestia and Luna, I’ll fly top speed back to Canterlot and start ruling while you girls search for them. How does that sound?” Tom asked.

“As long as you have given it due consideration, that’s all I ask,” Rarity replied and the group got back on their way.

“I’m glad you’re here Tom. I probably would’ve folded like a house of cards,” Twilight chuckled sheepishly. Tom shrugged.

“There’s no absolute right answer here. Rarity and Applejack are right to be concerned, just as I am right to think this mission takes priority. Part of being an actor is understanding how your character thinks and feels and conveying that to your audience. That’s why I wanted to become a history teacher in the first place. I saw understanding and conveying the real life thoughts and actions of leaders and heroes and such to be a natural extension of my acting. My point is I’ve come to know a lot of different points of view and I’ve learned that it is exceptionally rare for there ever to be an absolute right answer. If you had gone back to Ponyville at our friend’s request, that would be because it was your right answer. There is no shame in it.”

“Sounds like you’ve been reading too many philosophy books,” Twilight teased. 

“Twilight Sparkle accusing someone of reading too much? Will wonders ever cease?” The two shared a chuckle over that. 

Eventually the group made it to the Castle of the Two Pony Sisters with no sign of the Tree of Harmony, but Applejack’s sharp eyes caught a glow in the crevice, so they decided to investigate. Sure enough, they found the Tree, but it was covered in black vines and appeared sickly to the point of near death. Fluttershy said as much.

“Well let’s save that Tree!” Applejack cried and both she and Rainbow charged the vines, only to be rebuffed. 

“Maybe we should just skip to the part where we blast the vines with the Elements?” Tom suggested. 

“Wait! If the Elements were originally part of the Tree, then what good would blasting it do? Especially if the Tree powers the Elements… I think we need to give the Elements back to the Tree,” Twilight suggested. Tom relayed this. 

“How are we supposed to protect Equestria without the Elements?!” Dash protested. 

“How are we supposed to control Discord if we can’t use the Elements to turn him back into stone?” Rarity pointed out.

“I don’t think healthy friendships are built on threats of petrification,” Tom said dryly. To their credit, the others looked slightly abashed.

“Be that as it may, Discord is too powerful to be left to his own devices,” Rarity replied.

“If Discord is half what his first impression suggests, he will be much happier if you don’t try and control him and happy near omnipotent beings are more likely to play along with mortals than simply play with them, if you catch my drift. He has claimed to be reformed and trying the friendship thing. The least we can do is take him at his word and return the sentiment. Suspicion and distrust will poison friendship and likely lead to Discord turning on you,” Tom said plainly.

“I dunno…” Rainbow still wasn’t entirely sold.

“Just think of him as a recovering alcoholic. He’ll have withdraws and bad days and may even wind up back in the bottle. But if you really want to be his friends, then we should try and help keep him clean, as it were, and forgive him his faults. As it goes back in my world ‘forgive not seven times, but seventy times seven’.” Tom recited.

“All right, I guess that makes sense. You sure are full of good advice sometimes,” Rainbow commented.

“I am a student of history. Those who do not learn from mistakes are doomed to repeat them and Humanity has a lot of mistakes to learn from. Anyway, we should probably do as Twilight suggested and turn these Elements over to the Tree.”

With that, the plan was agreed upon and Tom hovered up into the air, collecting all six Elements to return to the tree. The vines, seeming to sense something was afoot, all attacked Tom and Twilight as one, too many for Tom to slice through with magic. 

“I really hope this works!” Tom cried as the vines enveloped him and the Elements returned to their place in the Tree. Just as the vines completely engulfed them, the Tree thrummed with arcane power and a pulse of Harmony Magic spread across the land, destroying the vines in its wake. Even better, Luna and Celestia had been held captive by the vines and were free upon the destruction of the vines.

“Princesses!” The group cried. 

“We know it must have been difficult to relinquish the Elements. You all showed great bravery today,” Celestia complimented them.

“Yeah, well, Twilight and I both have a whole lot of questions for you, Celestia, and I don’t think anyone is gonna be particularly happy by the end of it. However, that can wait until you two put your heavenly bodies back in order,” Celestia looked at Tom curiously and Luna seemed downright baffled. 

Before anything else could be done or said, the Tree started to glow and Twilight felt something odd within herself, almost as if a spark had been ignited. Then a flower grew out of the tree and within the flower was a locked box.

“Well, this is unexpected,” Twilight deadpanned. 

“Do either of you know what this is?” Tom asked the Princesses.

“No, the Tree still holds a great many mysteries even today. We don’t even know where to begin looking for keys or what could possibly be inside,” Luna admitted, “But, there are six locks and thus six keys. Perhaps a key each for each Bearer, er, former Bearer?” 

“I do believe you are right, sister. I trust when the time is right, you will be able to find those keys. For now, Luna and I must sort out the sun and moon and assure our little ponies that we are safe,” Celestia left the cave to do just that, followed by her younger sister. 

Tom, Twilight, and the others all walked back to Ponyville unmolested by monsters and were greeted by Discord summoning streamers and balloons and banners in their honor.

“Well done ladies and gentlemen, you are truly a credit to your cause! How did you save the day this time? Blast the monster with those necklaces of yours?” Discord poofed and reappeared as a mini mountain climber, climbing Tom’s horn. “Where are those delightful Elements anyway?”

“I would be deeply surprised if you didn’t have an inkling already, Discord. You must have felt the blast of Harmony Magic from the Tree,” Tom replied.

“Oh, poo, spoil all my fun, why don’t you?” Discord pouted. 

“You’ll also be pleased to know I had a chat with the girls and they seem to be more on board with accepting your friendship,” Tom added. Discord’s eyes literally popped out of his head. He picked them up and rubbed them off before replacing them.

“What, really?” He surveyed the pony’s faces.

“Yeah, Tom can be really convincing when he wants to be,” Rainbow said with a shrug.

“He did put things in a light we hadn’t considered before we restored the Elements to the Tree,” Rarity admitted. Discord seemed confused.

“What light would that be? Red? Blue? Maybe plaid?” Spotlights of each color shone on Discord as he listed them.

“The light of you being a recovering addict,” Tom said bluntly. That seemed to stop Discord cold. 

“I- I am not an addict!” Discord pouted petulantly. 

“Then why didn’t you remove those vines of yours back when you first became reformed?” Tom asked.

“I forgot about them. They were supposed to bloom hundreds of years ago, but- wait, how did you know they were mine?” 

“You just told me,” Tom smirked. 

“It really wasn’t hard to guess something so suffused in Chaos Magic had something to do with you,” Twilight added. 

“Well aren’t you two just so clever,” Discord sulked, “Fine, you win this round. As reward, I’ll even help clean up Ponyville for your precious Summer Sun Celebration or whatever it is.”

“Discord, friendship isn’t about winning rounds,” Surprisingly, it was Fluttershy who spoke up, “Even in more competitive friendships like AJ and Dashie, it’s about bringing out the best in each other, not who wins how many times.” Discord seemed to soften a bit.

“Well, if you say it Fluttershy, it must be true. I suppose I still have a lot to learn about this friendship thing,” Discord sighed.

“That’s why we’re gonna be here to help you, silly!” Pinkie exclaimed and got nods and noises of agreement from the others. Discord looked to be genuinely touched. 

Several hours later and everyone was in Canterlot, ready for Celestia to raise the sun. Tom and Twilight had decided to postpone their Q&A with Celestia and Luna until after the rising of the sun. Neither particularly wanted to rain on the festivities for the sisters, but both agreed it needed to be done sooner rather than later. 

Celestia and Luna walked up onto the dais and Celestia began her speech.

“Citizens of Equestria, it is no longer with a heavy heart, but with great joy that I raise the summer sun. For this celebration now represents, not the defeat of Nightmare Moon, but the return of my sister, Princess Luna!” With that, Luna rose into the air and set the moon beyond the horizon. With that completed, Celestia took to the air as well and the sun was lifted into the sky. 

“That’s our que!” Twilight reminded Tom.

“Oh, right,” Tom flared his wings and took off, using a corona of magic to simulate the visual aspects of Rainbow Dash’s sonic rainboom. The sister princesses touched down and Tom landed on the dais only a split second later, somehow managing to not botch the landing in spectacular fashion, for which he privately congratulated himself.
> A Great Rift
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 5: A Great Rift



“You wanted to speak with us, Tom, Twilight?” It was about six hours after Celestia had raise the sun for the Summer Sun Celebration and the princesses had completed their duty of socializing with the nobles. They had all retired to Celestia’s personal chambers.

“Yeah…you both might want to sit or lie down. This isn’t going to be pleasant for anyone involved,” Taking his own advice Tom sat down. 

“Please, don’t be so ominous, Sir Tom. Tell us plainly what is bothering yourself and Twilight,” Luna requested. Tom took a steadying breath before opening his mouth.

“Celestia, why did you lie to Luna about the Changelings?” Whatever the sisters had been expecting, it hadn’t been that. Celestia’s legs seemed to give out and she fell on her plot. 

“Sister, what does he mean, lied to me about the Changelings?” Luna’s voice carried a dangerous edge. Tom waited a beat for Celestia to answer before answering himself.

“Chrysalis and the Changelings are alive. Maybe not alive and well, but certainly alive. They attacked Canterlot during Cadence’s and Shining Armor’s wedding a couple of months ago.” Tom reported. Luna rounded on her sister.

“You told me they were dead,” Luna hissed, “You told me you had personally gone to their hive and a terrible sickness had wiped them all out. YOU LOOKED ME IN THE EYES AND TOLD ME MY BEST FRIEND WAS DEAD!”

“Luna, I-”

“Don’t ‘Luna’ me,” Luna snapped. She turned back to Tom and Twilight, “What did Chrysalis look like when you saw her?” 

“She was as tall as Celestia, with insectoid wings, black carapace. Her horn was very crooked and she had some kind of crown on her head. Her mane and tail were a greenish blue. Her legs, wings, mane, and tail all had holes in them,” Twilight replied and Tom repeated. Luna was nodding along until they mentioned the holes. Then her face turned horrified.

“Are you sure about the holes?!” Luna asked desperately.

“Quite sure, some were big enough to fit a baseball through,” Twilight answered. Luna slumped down like a puppet with her strings cut.

“Stars above, even when I first met her she wasn’t that starved…” Luna murmured.

“Starved?” Tom asked.

“Yes, where on a starving pony you would see their ribcage and hips most prominently, a starving Changeling will develop holes in their carapace. The more starved of love they are, the more numerous and greater the size of the holes,” Luna explained miserably. Tom could sense Twilight wanted to ask more about how that worked, but decided it could wait until later. 

“So she attacked the wedding out of starvation fueled desperation?” Tom asked.

“That sounds to be the case. If Chrysalis were in that bad a shape, I can only imagine she must be giving every scrap of love she can muster to her children. Even if her biology seems to be comparable to an Alicorn’s she won’t be able to avoid dying of starvation forever,” Luna suddenly shot up, “I have to find her! I already though I’d lost her once, I can’t bare it a second time!”

“Luna, wait-” What Celestia wanted Luna to wait for was lost as the Moon Princess sent an absolutely bone chilling glare at her sister. Luna then imperiously marched out the door.

“Why Celestia?” Twilight sounded like a kid who just found out their parents didn’t love each other anymore. 

“Yeah, I’d like to know that too,” Tom said to Twilight before turning to the Sun Princess, “What could possibly justify hurting your sister like that?” Celestia’s face crumpled like a paper bag.

“There is no excuse. I saw how the Changelings fed and it frightened me. I saw how close Luna and Chrysalis were despite only knowing each other for a few short weeks. At the time I justified it to myself as a kindness to force Luna and Chrysalis apart, for I thought that the Changeling Queen was a mortal and she would inevitably leave Luna in death. I pretended a short heartbreak over an even shorter friendship would be best for Luna.”

“Well then maybe you should’ve made sure Chrysalis and the Changelings were really dead, instead of just sealing them away,” Tom said harshly.

“TOM!” Twilight protested. Celestia let out a humorless laugh.

“I could not bring myself to actually do the deed. That had always been Luna’s job. I simply didn’t have the stomach for outright murder, so I settled for sealing them away and ignoring the fact that I was dooming them to death of starvation, or at least I thought I was. When Chrysalis reveled herself at the wedding, I was so scared. I thought a literal ghost of my past had come back to haunt me. I panicked. I teleported away to place a sleep spell on Luna so she wouldn’t wake up. I then put on the mask of my station and confronted Chrysalis. In the end, it was shockingly easy to manipulate the conversation away from the fact that she and I knew each other. Although, I wonder how much of that I can attribute to my own skill and how much to Chrysalis being on the edge of delirium from starvation.”

If Twilight had been in control, she would have been weeping. As it was, Tom could sense the feeling of betrayal permeating her. He stood and turned towards the door.

“I think I’m gonna go find Luna. I’ve just about had my fill of you, Celestia.” Celestia flinched as though he had physically struck her, but didn’t say anything as the pair left her chambers.





“Luna!” Tom called out to the Moon Princess when he found her in the maid quarters, of all places. 

“Sir Tom, Twilight, what can I-?” Her question was cut off as Tom rocketed forward to hug the larger pony. 

“Twilight and I both agree you needed a hug pretty badly,” Tom said by way of explanation. Luna was tense for a moment, before relaxing into the hug.

“Thank you, it is much appreciated. Now, tell me, how did you discover my sister’s deception?” Luna asked. 

“While we were looking for you both after the vines got you, we wound up taking a potion that let us see visions of the past. We both saw the night you were banished to the moon, Twilight saw you defeating Discord and harvesting the Elements from the Tree. I saw snippets of your friendship with Chrysalis and Celestia’s imprisonment of the Changelings and her lying to you about it,” Tom answered. 

“Was it a purple elixir that turned white upon exposure to Dark Magic?” Luna inquired.

“You know of it?” Twilight and Tom asked.

“Indeed, that particular potion was made about a decade after my sister and I took the throne. I remember the pony who invented it being so pleased with himself, thinking he had found a way to recover what had been lost during the reign of Discord. Unfortunately, as you both no doubt discovered, the potion requires an Alicorn to use Dark Magic for it to even activate. Once it does, it only shows you small moments of Destiny altering events. The one time I did partake of it, I witnessed a truly glorious clash between Titans what I can only guess were eons before the pony races came about,” Luna reminisced.

“That’s fascinating!” Twilight exclaimed. 

“So, now that you know Chrysalis is out there, what’s your plan?” Tom questioned.

“You caught me in the middle of preparing my things for a trip to the Badlands. That is where the Hive of old was located and if she is not there, then it is at least a place to begin my search. However, if she is not there, then there is no telling how long I may be gone or what adversities I may face. Even if I do find her straightway, much of my magic and energy will be spent making sure she does not die of starvation on the spot. As such, I would ask a favor of you both.” Luna requested.

“Of course we’ll help if we’re able!” Twilight exclaimed and Tom echoed her sentiment. Luna smiled at them.

“Truly, you are both honest friends and stalwart companions. I will teach you how to raise and lower my moon. I pray it does not come to that, but it would put my mind at ease to know someone is capable of the duty if I am unable. Celestia could do it, of course, but I’d rather not have her touching my moon at the moment.”

“I’d say that’s pretty understandable,” Tom remarked.

“Are you sure we can do this?” Twilight asked and Tom passed along.

“You are an Alicorn with a special talent for Magic. You may not find it moves with the ease for which it moves for me, but you will certainly be able to coax it along,” Luna assured them.

“I’m sorry it’s come to this. I know this whole mess would have come out eventually, but a nagging part of me can’t help feel like it’s my fault you and Celestia are fighting. It’s only been a year since you came back and now I’m forcing you apart again,” Tom murmured. 

“Nay, Sir Tom, Celestia and I grew up together. We have hurt each other before and I have no doubt we will do so again. For all that my sister has tried to pretend otherwise in recent times, we are not good ponies. I shall forgive her, in time,” Luna sighed.

“That doesn’t make it right!” Twilight exclaimed. Tom agreed with a nod of his head.

“No, it does not. However, my sister and I are the rulers of Equestria and tied to the sun and moon besides. We cannot let petty squabbles consume us,” Luna replied wearily.

“Attempted murder of an entire species and lying to you about your best friend being dead is ‘petty’?” Tom asked in disbelief. Luna let out a bark of laughter.

“We have both done worse when we were first forming Equestria. Tia would raze enemy farms and entrenchments with the fury of her sun. I would use the Dream Realm to plant terrible nightmares in the minds of their leaders. For those who resisted even after that, I was typically called on to assassinate them. Together we slew every Windigo that threatened our ponies. I am fairly confident that we wiped them all out, although I have been wrong before, I will admit. Windigos are a tricky sort, after all. I oft times find it hard to believe the Elements would ever accept us, even when it has already happened. Though perhaps they merely accepted us as delivery mares until they could unite with their true Bearers...”

“But there’s no mention of that in any of the history books!” Twilight protested. Tom repeated her with an amused smirk on his face.

“And none of the history books so much as mentioned myself to begin with,” Luna rebutted, “Celestia has a remarkable gift for scrubbing the history books clean of any blood. Sir Tom, you don’t seem terribly surprised.”

“One thing my history professor taught me was anything taught in school history would be sanitized for ‘our protection’. I learned a fair bit about how brutal forging a new country could be from my own research. Also, I’m not a pony who has idolized Celestia since before I could talk. You both are just abnormally powerful ponies to me,” Tom replied with a shrug. 

“You should count yourself blessed to have been under the tutelage of such an open scholar,” Luna remarked. 

“Yeah, Professor Weinhart was one of my favorites,” Tom said nostalgically. 

“Oh! We did not mean-” Tom held up a hoof to forestall Luna.

“I know. I’ve gotta get over the fact I’m never going home sooner or later. Can’t have everyone walking on eggshells about my past forever,” Tom chided.

“That is a good mindset to have, I suppose. But I do not think it is coming from the healthiest of places. Mayhap I can help you and Twilight in the Dream Realm?” Luna inquired.

“NO! No, I mean, I’m sure you have a lot of ponies to help and you have to go find Chrysalis,” Luna’s arched eyebrow and Twilight’s damning silence told Tom it was time to get while the getting was good, “I’m going to go find our friends!” 

Unfortunately, no matter how fast he ran, Twilight’s judgmental silence was still in the back of his mind. Eventually Tom got fed up from not finding any of the other Bearers and Twilight’s silence.

“What do you want from me?!” He finally shouted.

“I want you to go to my mom so she can schedule an appointment with my psychologist,” Twilight replied blandly.

“I do not need to see a psychologist!” Tom said indignantly.

“So you’ve been forcefully transplanted into an alien of the opposite sex with no way to get home and you are in absolutely no psychological distress. Right…pull my horn,” Twilight’s sarcasm could cleave mountains, “Even besides; I feel the need to talk to her. I’m getting cabin fever something awful. Being trapped in your own head can be terribly claustrophobic sometimes.”

“I… well… fine,” Tom could stonewall for days if she had only said she was concerned for him. Bringing her own well being into the picture caused any resistance to crumble like a flaming tower of matchsticks. 

“Good, I’ll lead you to my house,” Twilight sounded happy, so that was something at least. Ten minutes later, the pair arrived at Twilight’s house. Tom knocked on the door at waited for but a moment.

“Coming!” A female voice called out from inside.

“That’s Mom,” Twilight noted just before the door opened. 

“Twilight!” Tom was wrapped in a bone crushing hug by the older mare.

“Um, actually-”

“It’s so nice of you to visit your parents Twilight,” Twilight’s mother, Twilight Velvet, greeted in a slightly strained tone. 

“That’s odd, Mom knows what’s going on so why is she-” Twilight’s question was cut off by another cry.

“Twilight?!” Poking her head around a corner, a mint green Unicorn appeared. 

“Lyra?” Tom recognized her from Ponyville, but hadn’t actually met the mare face to face. 

“Hey, it’s been forever since I’ve seen you! Well, not forever forever. I see you all the time in Ponyville! We just haven’t, you know, talked. Oh, I know, I should go get the rest of our friends! We can meet up at Doughnut Joe’s!” Like a bolt, Lyra zipped out of the Sparkle house without Tom or Twilight being able to utter a word. 

“You’re friends with Lyra?” Tom asked.

“‘Our’ friends?” Twilight sounded equally mystified. 

“She didn’t tell you? If it weren’t for Lyra, Twinkleshine, Minuette, Lemon Hearts, and Moon Dancer she wouldn’t have ever left that dusty old tower of hers. Honestly I wish they would’ve been able to drag her outside more often, but no use crying over spilt milk,” Twilight Velvet shrugged, “Now, what brings you two over to visit a lonely old mare like myself?”

“Mom, you’re not that old, you’re only thirty nine,” Twilight said in a put upon voice, “Now, what was Lyra doing here?” Tom relayed the message as Velvet ushered them into the sitting room.

“Oh, Lyra is such a sweet girl; she usually turns up for a cup of tea every time she’s in Canterlot. She even brings her fillyfriend Bon-Bon- oh, whoops, I mean ‘best friend’,” Velvet chuckled at the younger generation’s silliness. In her opinion, anyone with eyes could tell they were made for each other. 

“Oh my Stars, I can’t believe I forgot about all my friends in Canterlot! I’m such a terrible pony!” Twilight moaned.

“I do believe we are getting off track. Why would a mare’s only daughter ever want to visit this old spinster. Unless it was your idea, Tom?” Velvet asked.

“You can’t be a spinster, Mom, you’re married to Dad. You’re an editor, you should know this!” Twilight grumbled. Tom passed this along just to see the fireworks. 

“My dear, wonderful, beautiful daughter…I can always sign you up for my next barrel riding trip,” Velvet threatened.

“I think Twilight is sufficiently whipped,” Tom said, ignoring Twilight’s begging for forgiveness, “The reason we’re here is because Twilight wants you to book us an appointment with her psychologist.” Whatever Velvet had expected, it wasn’t that.

“I thought you hated Dr. Mind, Twily.”

“I don’t hate her…” Twilight demurred. 

“Wait, so you saying you wanted to talk to her about cabin fever was just a trap? We haven’t even known each other for a month and you’re already playing me like a fiddle,” Tom griped. Twilight winced.

“I was not ‘playing’ you.”

“Right, well, I suppose that ship has already sailed. Now, let’s talk about you being friends with Lyra and a whole group of other ponies whom you’ve apparently forgotten,” Tom was maybe feeling a touch vindictive. 

“I can’t believe I’m such a terrible pony! One day I just up and left and never looked back. Lyra was there in Ponyville almost the entire time, but I just ignored her!” Twilight lamented.

“I’m just going to warm up some tea,” Velvet remarked before popping back into the kitchen.

“To be fair to you, you had a lot on your plate at any given time. You’ve only told me about a fraction of your misadventures, but if there’s any consistency to them, they’ve been very distracting,” Tom played devil’s advocate.

“That doesn’t excuse what I’ve done! I’m supposed to be the Princess of Friendship! How could I be such a terrible friend?!” Twilight was quickly working herself into a fine tizzy.

“Or that could just mean you’ve grown as a person and are now someone worthy of the title ‘Princess of Friendship’. Also, people grow apart all the time. As you said, Lyra was in Ponyville almost the entire time. It’s not like she or those others reached out to you either,” Tom tried to point out.

“We didn’t just ‘grow apart’, I abandoned them! I took a story in a book of old mare’s tales way too seriously and then poof! Off I went, never to see them again! I didn't even remember their names! If I really am a better pony than I was, then at the very least I have to apologize to them!” Twilight insisted as her mother placed a cup of tea before them. Tom nodded gratefully before taking a sip.

“Well, you got me there. If that’s the case, we should probably head over to this Doughnut Joe’s and meet up with them. With any luck we’ll run into at least one of the other Bearers, er, former Bearers.” 

“Just remember to come back from time to time to visit your poor, decrepit mother, Twilight. Your father misses you too. He really wants to meet your Special Somepony~” Velvet teased. 

“Moooooooooooom!” Twilight groaned. 

“I’ll be sure to have Twilight fit more time into her schedule for her doddering parents,” Tom smirked.

“TOM!” Twilight’s outrage just caused him to snicker. 

“That’s all I ask, dear. Now you should get going. Wouldn’t want to miss Twily’s big reunion tour,” Velvet joked, “I’ll send word through Spike as to when your appointment will be.”

“Thanks for the tea, Original Twilight. See you later and Twilight says ‘bye’ too,” With that, they were out the door, leaving Twilight Velvet alone again.

“Oh Twilight,” The horrible words of a mother fearful for her daughter seemed to echo in the empty house. All she could do was put on a brave front and be a source of comfort for her child and her unwilling companion. Maybe, in the end, that was all any mother could do.
> Tragedy Averted
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 6: Tragedy Averted


Tom was following Twilight’s directions to Doughnut Joe’s when he turned a corner and literally ran into Fluttershy. Fortunately neither was moving faster than a steady walk. 

“Whoops, sorry Fluttershy,” Tom apologized.

“No, it’s my fault, I wasn’t paying attention,” Fluttershy apologized in return. Tom smiled fondly.

“Let’s just say it’s both our faults and leave it at that, alright?” Tom asked and Fluttershy nodded in agreement.

“Howdy Tom, Twilight,” Applejack, who had been behind Fluttershy, greeted.

“Hey Applejack. Say, I was heading over to Doughnut Joe’s to meet some of Twilight’s old friends. Apparently she forgot all about them after she moved to Ponyville. And before you say anything, yes, the idea that Twilight had friends before Ponyville is as strange to me as it is to you,” Tom snickered.

“Really Tom? That was such low hanging fruit,” Twilight almost managed to sound disappointed in him. Applejack just rolled her eyes good naturedly.

“Anyway, would you two be willing to come with us?” Tom inquired. The two mares looked at each other for a moment.

“I ain’t got nothin’ better to do,” Applejack replied.

“If they’re friends of Twilight, they should be alright…” Fluttershy answered demurely. 

A few minutes later, the quartet walked into Doughnut Joe’s. Tom didn’t even have to scan the area to spot Twilight’s old friends.

“TWILIGHT, OVER HERE!” A light blue unicorn mare all but screamed. She was waving her hoof around like a crazy person trying to get Tom’s attention, and boy did she get it. 

“I think that’s Minuette. How on Equuis could I forget somepony so loud?” Twilight sounded exasperated, but Tom was pretty sure that was mostly directed at herself. Tom, Applejack, Twilight, and Fluttershy slid into the booth that had been selected.

“Hello, Minuette, it’s been awhile,” Tom greeted, “I hope you all don’t mind, but I brought some of my friends from Ponyville.”

“Of course not,” A lemon yellow mare waved it off.

“Lemon Hearts,” Twilight supplied.

“Thanks Lemon Heart,” Tom replied.

“Especially if those friends are the Elements of Harmony!” Minuette exclaimed, “I told all my friends at work that I used to be friends with you, Twilight, but nopony believed me!”

“Imagine that,” Lyra chuckled.

“I don’t wanna hear it from you, miss humans-are-real,” Minuette said sourly. Before Lyra could protest Minuette continued, “Would you mind if I took a picture? I want to prove I’m not just telling tales.”

“Minuette, we were friends, you don’t really have to ask to take a simple picture,” Tom said with a shrug. 

“I just thought I’d ask, what with reporters probably hounding you at all hours,” Minuette responded as she dug out a camera to snap a few quick pictures.

“Not really. Everyone in Ponyville already knows me so the local reporters don’t bother me and since Celestia knows I like my privacy, it wouldn’t surprise me to know she has out of town reporters on a leash of some kind.” Point of fact, Celestia had told Twilight the day after her ascension that she’d keep the reporters away if Twilight wanted. Naturally the new Alicorn had taken her up on the offer. 

“Yeah, come to think of it, I can’t think of a time the reporters bothered you while you were just Princess Celestia’s protégé either,” An ivory mare, who Twilight informed Tom was Twinkleshine, spoke up for the first time. 

“So how’d ya’ll meet Twilight anyway?” Applejack asked. 

“Well, we all went to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, so we met when we were about six or seven,” Lyra answered. 

“Yeah, those were some crazy times. Twilight and Moon Dancer were always wanting to try some new magic they had learned and we were the guinea pigs in chief,” Lemon Hearts giggled. 

“Oh dear, I hope you didn’t get hurt,” Fluttershy worried.

“Nah, those two were good enough to undo just about anything they did. Besides, it was pretty fun more often than not,” Twinkleshine reminisced and the other three made noises of agreement.

“I wonder where Moon Dancer is.” Twilight pondered. 

“So was Moon Dancer not able to make it? I know this was on pretty short notice and all,” Tom said. Twilight’s Canterlot friends shared a look that set Tom ill at ease. 

“Soon after you left, Twilight, Moon Dancer started hanging out with us less and less often,” Lemon Hearts confessed.

“I’ve been in Ponyville most of the time, so I don’t know if this counts for much, but I haven’t heard from Moon Dancer in weeks, maybe longer,” Lyra added. A pit started forming in Tom’s stomach. When the others confirmed they hadn’t heard from Moon Dancer in a similar length of time, both Tom and Twilight started to get very worried.

“Where is Moon Dancer currently living? Sounds like she could use some visitors,” Tom kept his voice light. What he really wanted to do was demand they take him to Moon Dancer immediately. Too many tragedies of history and crime dramas painted a horrible picture in his mind. Modern Equestria seemed a happier place than Earth, but as Luna had pointed out, a lot of that was Celestia’s censoring. 

“Sounds like a good idea! Let’s go!” Minuette cheered. The bill was paid and the group was out the door. Once they were underway Applejack and Tom fell to the back of the group.

“Are ya gonna tell them?” Applejack asked quietly.

“Maybe later, when I can get Luna or Celestia to vouch I’m not insane,” Tom replied. Something in his voice must have tipped AJ off.

“I take it yer meeting with the Princesses didn’t go well?” She questioned.

“I only got to ask one question,” Tom sighed.

“About the Changelings?” Applejack guessed.

“Right in one. Luna looked mad enough to send Celestia to the sun without the help of the Elements. She’s going off to the Badlands after she teaches me and Twilight how to move the moon,” Tom answered.

“Probably fer the best she gets some space if she’s half as mad as ya’ll think she is,” Applejack observed. 

“I agree, but right now my focus is on Moon Dancer,” Tom reveled. Applejack cocked her head in questioning, “Slowly withdrawing from friends until no one has seen you for weeks or even months is usually a bad sign where I’m from.” 

“Bad signs fer what?” Applejack seemed honestly oblivious and Tom didn’t want to ruin that. It had been bad enough when he had forgotten to moderate for Twilight and she hadn’t been satisfied until she knew every grim detail about Humanity’s past and current society. 

“I won’t tell you, because if I’m wrong I don’t want my paranoia to trouble you,” Tom said wearily. Applejack gave him a searching gaze, but ultimately decided to leave it alone, for which Tom was very grateful. 

After what seemed like an eternity to Tom, but was really only a couple of minutes, the group arrived at Moon Dancer’s house. The lawn was overgrown, the mailbox was stuffed with letters, and the whole house looked to be in a state of disrepair. The pit in Tom’s stomach seemed to grow ever deeper. 

“Please be alright, Moon Dancer,” Twilight prayed. Tom steeled his nerves and walked forward to knock on the door. Each second that ticked by with no response was agony to Tom.

“Maybe she isn’t home?” Lyra suggested. Tom knocked again with more urgency, accidentally breaking the door in the process. A few moments later an eye peered out of the new hole.

“Go away!” A female voice barked.

“Moon Dancer, is that you?” Tom asked.

“Who else would it be?” Moon Dancer asked testily. 

“Oh thank the Stars,” Twilight breathed a sigh of relief, but Tom wasn’t satisfied yet. Just because the absolute worse possibility hadn’t come to pass, that didn’t mean Moon Dancer was hale and hearty. 

“Moon Dancer, please let us in, it’s your friends,” Tom said pleasantly.

“I can see that. Go away!” Moon Dancer barked again. 

“Moon Dancer, are you taking care of yourself?” Tom asked softly.

“What do you care, Sparkle?” Moon Dancer all but snarled. The mares behind Tom seemed to be growing confused, but he ignored them.

“We can play this game all day Moon Dancer. I’m not leaving until you let us in,” Tom was entirely willing to be stubborn as Moon Dancer was. The door flew open, its hinges nearly flying off.

“I will have you arrested for trespassing!” Moon Dancer threatened. Tom took in her appearance. Long, unwashed tail, unkempt mane held up by a scrunchie, thick dark sweater that hid her forelegs entirely in summertime, and glasses held together by tape.

“I’d like to see you try and have a princess arrested,” Tom said mildly, fluffing his wings, “I could make it a royal order for you to let us in.”

“GO AWAY! Leave me alone! That’s what you’re best at anyway,” Moon Dancer sneered. Twilight recoiled, but Tom was unaffected.

“Roll up your sleeves Moon Dancer,” Tom ordered softly. Moon Dancer’s pupils shrank to pinpricks in panic and surprise. Fear seized her heart.

“NO!” Moon Dancer was on the edge of hyperventilating. She wanted to turn and run back into her house, but her legs wouldn’t obey her commands. 

“I’m sure you have nothing to hide. Just roll up your sleeves and you never have to see this mad mare again,” Tom offered. This was not the reaction of someone with nothing to hide. 

“You know…” Moon Dancer’s voice was barely audible. The terror in those two words caused both Twilight’s and Tom’s hearts to break. 

“I suspect. I won’t know and can’t help unless you show me,” Slowly, carefully, Tom hugged the trembling mare.

“I care about you, Moon Dancer. I know I’ve done a horrible, horrible job showing it over the last year. I abandoned you, walked out of your life without a second thought…but you are one of my first friends. I will care about you no matter what, so please, show me,” Twilight felt a sorrow she had never felt before. Tom didn’t have to pretend to cry as he repeated Twilight’s words. Tom released the hug and slowly, with a face burning with shame, Moon Dancer rolled up her sleeves.

The assembled mares gasped at what they saw, but Tom retained his composure, for Moon Dancer’s sake. Her eyes were glued solely on him. Moon Dancer’s forelegs were a mess. Cuts in every direction, of every length and depth crisscrossed her flesh. Most were in various stages of scabbing, but a few were still fresh enough to bleed. 

Tom took a deep breath as he listened to Twilight’s input before speaking.

“Moon Dancer, I’m going to give you two options, both of which involve you coming with me to Ponyville. Option one is I check you in to the psychiatric ward of Ponyville General Hospital. I can’t let you live alone when you’re clearly a threat to yourself. Option two I give against my better judgment. Option two is you live with me in Ponyville. However, if I find you keep hurting yourself while living with me, it’s straight to the psychiatric ward. Understood?”

“I understand,” Moon Dancer said meekly, “I…I don’t want…I can’t…please don’t put me with the crazy ponies. I don’t know if I-”

“No thinking along those lines,” Tom ordered, cutting off Moon Dancer. He had a fair idea what she was about to say.

“OK,” Moon Dancer bowed her head. It was all Tom could do to not slump tiredly.

“I have things I need to do, royal matters. I don’t anticipate it’ll take more than two hours. That should hopefully give you time to pack. We’ll meet at the station at moonrise to catch the last train to Ponyville,” Tom turned to Applejack, “Applejack, stay with her. Help her pack and make sure she stays safe.”

“Of course,” Applejack replied and Tom was extremely grateful for her levelheadedness. 

“I’ll stay too,” Fluttershy volunteered, somewhat surprising Tom and Twilight. It was a reminder that beneath her usual timid exterior, the former Bearer of Kindness was made of some stern stuff. 

“We’re staying too!” Minuette and Lyra shouted at the same time, both offered a weak smile.

“We haven’t been the best friends, but we are still friends,” Lemon Hearts said firmly and Twinkleshine nodded in agreement. Moon Dancer was too overcome with emotion to form words.

“Thank you, all of you,” Tom said sincerely. 

“Don’t mention it, it’s what friends do. Now, ya’ll go on and get. That royal business of yours won’t keep forever,” Applejack quipped.

“Alright, I’m going,” Tom acquiesced and after a quick hug with Moon Dancer, headed towards the palace.



 

Luna’s horn was alight as she talked.

“Focus on my magic, follow it from my horn to its connection with my moon. Once you find it, try and tie your magic to the moon in likewise manner,” Luna guided. Tom nodded and closed his eyes. Banishing images of Moon Dancer’s wounds, he forced his attention on Luna’s magic. It was smooth and calm and cool like the night she shepherded. He allowed himself a moment to savor its feeling before doing as Luna had told him and following the current of mana.

Tom had lost track of time since finding Luna, but he supposed it had been over an hour of exercises lead by Twilight and Luna in Magic before they had reached this point. He put this from his mind as he felt the soft power of the moon through Luna’s connection. Copying Luna, he poured mana into establishing a link between himself and the moon. It resisted, but only for a moment as Luna pushed more of her own mana through her link with the celestial body. 

“You have done well, now all that is left is for you to move my moon. I doubt Celestia will complain overmuch if the moon is raised ten minutes early,” Luna mused. Tom’s eyes snapped open.

“Ten minutes?! I told my friends I’d be at the station by moonrise!” Tom exclaimed.

“I doubt your friends will hold it against you if you are a little late. However, I know something has been bothering you since you came to me. Please, speak your mind and unburden yourself young ones,” Luna offered.

“Long story short, one of Twilight’s old friends was hurting themselves and likely suicidally depressed. We’re bringing her to Ponyville, hopefully to help her recover. I don’t want my first act of that to be me being late,” Tom explained. 

“I am sorry to hear that. Would that I could visit every dream and soothe every heart, but alas, there is but one of me and so very many dreamers,” Luna lamented with a shake of her head, “Go to her. I trust if the need ever arises you know enough to take care of my moon. I will raise it on time.”

“Thank you, Luna,” Both Twilight and Tom said before rushing out the door. A quick teleport later and the pair were at the station. To only mild surprise, all of their friends were already at the platform. 

“Twilight!” Everyone exclaimed.

“Hello, everyone, I’m glad to see both my new and old friends getting along,” Twilight said, which Tom repeated with a smile. 

“Ya’ll get yer business taken care of?” Applejack asked.

“I did, thank you for asking,” Tom replied. 

“Yep, these last couple o’ days sure has been eventful, but I’ll be glad to go back to the farm and relax for a spell,” Applejack said honestly. 

“I don’t blame you,” Tom agreed with Applejack’s desire for some peace.

“Now, Twilight, darling, why is your friend coming to live with you? I’ve asked the others, but they’ve been tight lipped,” Rarity inquired.

“I don’t want to be rude, but it really is none of your business, Rarity. I’ve already had to oust the problem to AJ, Fluttershy, and my old friends. Moon Dancer deserves some privacy. Just suffice to say Moon Dancer had a problem and I offered to help,” Tom said with a note of finality.

“I understand, darling, I shan’t bring it up again,” Rarity replied respectfully. Rainbow had been curious as well, but decided if Rarity wasn’t going to dig into it, she wouldn’t either. 

Soon thereafter, goodbyes were said, luggage packed away, and the train was underway for Ponyville. Once everyone was comfortably seated in an empty car, Tom spoke.

“Moon Dancer, since you’re going to be staying with me, there are certain things you should know.”

“Like what?” Moon Dancer asked curiously. Tom noted she must have bathed sometime during her lesson with Luna, for her mane and tail didn’t look quite as bad as they had earlier.

“There’s really no way I can think of to say it myself, so if you could explain, Pinkie?” Tom requested.

“Sure thing! Well, about a month ago Twilight found a super duper old spell in Luna and Celestia’s old castle out in the Everfree Forest. Twilight, being the Element of Magic, absolutely knew she had to try out any spell she didn’t know, regardless of consequences! That’s how things are discovered, after all, like mint chocolate chip!” Pinkie exposited.

“I knew it was a summoning spell,” Twilight mumbled mulishly. 

“Anyway, the spell turned out to be a summoning spell…a summoning spell that drew a consciousness into oneself. But Twilight messed a few things up,” Pinkie paused for dramatic effect.

“I didn’t mess up! The page with the rest of the instructions was missing!” Twilight complained indignantly. 

“So instead of a spirit being drawn into Twilight and them being in equal control, Twilight summoned a Soul and the magic caused that Soul to usurp control of Twilight’s body completely! Luckily that Soul wasn’t a meany-pants like Nightmare Moon, but just a regular guy named Tom, who’s a Human. Say ‘hello’ Tom!” Pinkie instructed.

“Hello Tom,” Tom dutifully replied. Pinkie snorted in amusement and even Rainbow chuckled despite herself. Moon Dancer looked back and forth between Tom and Pinkie.

“So you’re saying you aren’t Twilight, but an alien- excuse me, a Human controlling her body?” Moon Dancer asked skeptically.

“That is exactly what we’re saying. Twilight is still here and can talk to me. Twilight meant what she said about being sorry for being a terrible friend and I mean it when I say I want to be your friend and that we both care about you,” Tom answered.

“And you wanted to put me in the psych ward,” Moon Dancer gazed heavenward, “But somehow, that sounds exactly crazy enough to be believable.”

“I’m sure someone like Pinkie could make something like this up if they tried, but I’m not that creative,” Tom quipped. 

“Lyra is gonna lose it when she finds out,” Moon Dancer warned. 

“Knowing my luck, it’s inevitable she’ll find out somehow. First order of business tomorrow is beginning construction of an anti-Lyra bunker,” Tom deadpanned. 

Before they knew it, the train pulled into the Ponyville station. The group disembarked, bid each other good night, and went their separate ways. A few minutes later, Spike, Tom, Twilight, and Moon Dancer arrived at Golden Oaks Library. 

“You live in a library? If I had known that I would’ve come a long time ago,” Moon Dancer joked. 

“Twilight is head librarian too. Due to unfortunate circumstances, she’s had to ‘hire’ me as junior under librarian,” Tom joked back.

“Do I want to know who the regular librarian is?” Moon Dancer asked.

“That’d be me!” Spike said proudly. 

“And Twilight’s pet owl, Owlowiscious is the junior librarian,” Tom reported.

“Really, Twilight? Owlowiscious?” Moon Dancer tried to keep the smirk off her face. Only Twilight had such a gift for names.

“It’s a cute name!” Twilight pouted as Tom showed Moon Dancer to the guest room.

“Right, before we head off to bed, a few ground rules. Breakfast is at 7, usually cooked by Spike. Everyone washes their own dishes. If you choose to stay in your room, Spike and I are going to conduct random visits. I won’t tell him why unless you agree to it. Otherwise, if you leave the library, you have to be accompanied by someone else at all times. Your curfew is 10 PM unless otherwise cleared by myself and Twilight or in case of emergency. I will also be conducting periodic inspections to both make sure your cuts are healing properly and you aren’t making new ones. Does that sound good?” Tom inquired.

“Yeah, that sounds reasonable. I, uh, thanks for not just throwing me in the loony bin and have done with it,” Moon Dancer said.

“Thank Twilight, not me. We wouldn’t have left you to rot in the psych ward, but she’s the one who convinced me to let you stay with us,” Tom said with a shrug. 

“I see…thank you Twilight,” Moon Dancer said gratefully. 

“She says ‘you’re welcome’,” Tom said before yawning, “Goodnight, Moon Dancer,”

“Goodnight Tom, Twilight,” The pair left the room for their own bedroom, leaving Moon Dancer alone. She contemplated how things had ended up like this, but shook her head to clear it of looming dark thoughts. She decided she could unpack later; it was late, after all. So she climbed into her new bed, set her glasses on the bedside table, and allowed herself to drift to sleep.
> The Appointment
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 7: The Appointment



“I will be leaving immediately after I raise the moon. I have already purchased accommodations here in Ponyville for when I return, hopefully with Chrysalis, so you needn’t worry about that. I will first be stopping by my old castle. Clearly I should have cleaned it out long ago to prevent enterprising young Alicorns from casting spells they ought not,” Luna’s words carried a light teasing.

“I’m sure Twilight will contain her disappointment,” Tom snarked. 

“Quite,” Luna’s face was a perfect royal mask, but her eyes danced with merriment.

“Anyway, we should probably get going ourselves. At top speed, we should just make it to our appointment with Dr. Mind,” Tom noted, glancing at the clock on the wall of the library.

“Then do not let me hold you both any longer. Safe journey,” Luna bid. Tom and Twilight said their own farewells before exiting the library and taking to the skies.

It had been three days since the Summer Sun Celebration and everyone was getting used to yet another shake up in the usual routine. Luna had somehow disguised her leaving as a diplomatic mission to the Dragons and Celestia had gone along with it. Neither Tom nor Twilight knew if it was just Celestia being prudent or if it was an effort to make some small amends.

As far as Moon Dancer was concerned, she had spent her first day almost exclusively in Golden Oaks, reading. On the morning of the second day, Fluttershy had taken it upon herself to invite Moon Dancer to her house. Tom, Spike, and Twilight were all slightly mystified by the aura of peace that Moon Dancer seemed to have gained from Fluttershy’s presence. Tom had briefly wondered if there had been some kind of recreational drug involved, but quickly dismissed the idea. Moon Dancer was simply relaxed, not stoned.

As much as Tom knew it was important to be nonjudgmental with those who self-harmed or were suicidal, he was also aware that he couldn’t quite keep his disapproval out of his tone whenever he spoke to her about it. If hanging around Fluttershy helped her, then both he and Twilight were fully supportive. 

Half an hour after they left, they arrived in Canterlot, managing to land outside Dr. Mind’s office with only a minor face plant. That was progress in Tom’s book. 

“Twilight, come in, Dr. Mind has been expecting you! She’ll be with you in just a moment,” Dr. Mind’s secretary, Neat Quills, greeted as they walked in the door. A Pegasus mare of gray coat and two toned blue mane, Neat Quills’ cutie mark was three quills neatly lined next to each other. Tom nodded in understanding and quietly sat in the waiting room.

Both Twilight and Tom would be lying if they said they weren’t nervous. They would be further liars if they claimed that the other’s nervousness wasn’t influencing their own. Actually being in the office was causing Tom to start fidgeting with anxiety. They both knew there was no reason to be apprehensive, yet apprehensive they were.

“Twilight, you can come back now,” Neat Quills called out a mere minute later. Tom stood and was lead down a hallway to a thick wooden door. Neat Quills knocked on the door once before opening it. With an encouraging smile, Neat Quills ushered Tom and Twilight inside and closed the door behind them. 

They were brought face to face with a middle aged Earth Pony mare with a soothing forest green coat and plain black mane. She was sitting in a comfortable looking chair, but Tom could still see her cutie mark, a metronome. The room itself was painted in a calm beige color and there were knickknacks, books, and even a few stuffed animals on shelves. 

“Hello Tom pleased to meet you. I am Dr. Calm Mind. Twilight, it’s nice to see you again,” Dr. Calm Mind greeted. 

“Ah, so you know?” Tom asked.

“Yes, Twilight’s mother and Princess Celestia thought it would be prudent if I had a heads up,” Dr. Mind responded.

“That’s good, don’t want to spend the whole session trying to convince you I’m not crazy,” Tom breathed a sigh of relief he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in.

“No need to worry about that. Twilight’s mother thought it wise to book a double session and you’re my last appointment, so we can take as long as we need,” Dr. Mind explained.

“Oh boy,” Twilight groaned. Tom promptly ignored her. 

“First things first, tell me a bit about yourself, Tom. It could be anything that springs to mind; your home life, your aspirations, anything at all,” Dr. Mind instructed. Tom pursed his lips as he took a moment to contemplate how to answer. He ultimately decided to start with the basics.

“My full name is Tom Jacob Williams. I am a twenty three year old male Human. I grew up in Bangor, Maine in a country called the United States of America with a disappointing lack of monsters,” Tom began.

“‘A disappointing lack of monsters’?” Dr. Mind questioned.

“Sorry, bad joke. There was a horror fiction writer who set a lot of his stories in Maine,” Tom explained, “Anyway, I grew up in a loving home with my Mom, my Dad, and my older brother Joseph. I did good in school, enjoyed acting, and was on my way to becoming a history teacher before Twilight’s magical mishap.” 

“So you still consider yourself male?” This question completely wrong footed Tom.

“Here we go,” Twilight sighed.

“Uh, yes?” Dr. Mind wrote something in her notepad. 

“Have you noticed yourself doing things that you wouldn’t have done before coming into contact with Twilight?” Tom quickly reviewed his behavior of the last month.

“I don’t think so…” Tom replied hesitantly. As the words left his mouth, he suddenly wasn’t so sure. Would he have pretended to seduce Sunset like he did? Would he have tried so hard to get the former Bearers, sans Fluttershy, to be friends with Discord? Would he have concerned himself with the business of the Princesses? Would he have cared enough about what happened to Moon Dancer to demand she come to Ponyville? Was being in close contact to Twilight altering his behavior? The thought sent a chill down his spine. 

“Tom, relax, she’s just trying to get inside your head,” Twilight sounded confident. Tom wished he could share in that confidence. 

“If I know Twilight, she’s still denying she finds anyone physically attractive. How about you, Tom? Has anyone caught your eye?’  

“Oh Stars, make it stop,” Twilight begged. 

“Twilight?” Tom was slightly concerned from her tone.

“I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON CELESTIA!” 

“I never said you do,” Dr. Mind said patiently, as if she could hear Twilight’s outburst.

“I was a biped primate. Quadruped equines aren’t my thing,” Tom decided to say, “Are you sure Twilight isn’t just asexual?” He immediately regretted the question.

“Quite sure,” Dr. Mind replied and Tom could sense a story there, but chose not to poke the bear. Twilight was already steamed enough.

“As you inhabit Twilight’s body, I expect some of her tastes to rub off on you. You now inhabit the body of a completely different order of being. That’s even disregarding any mental bleeding from sharing the same brain,” It made sense to Tom, but that didn’t mean he liked it. If he couldn’t go home, then getting his own body suddenly shot up on his list of priorities. Luna had said there shouldn’t be any worry in that regard, but Twilight had also done the summoning ritual improperly. There was no telling what kind of side effects could rear their ugly heads.

“So, what, you expect me to start self identifying as a mare and chasing tail that Twilight would find attractive?” Tom asked.

“I don’t expect anything. There are a scarce few cases of possession like this and every case is unique. I’m merely going over all possibilities to make sure you are prepared for any eventuality and of sound mind,” Dr. Mind explained. Twilight grumbled something unflattering. 

“Twilight!” Tom exclaimed.

“It’s quite alright, I’m used to it. Twilight has done her level best to scare me off since she was a filly. If she hasn’t succeeded yet, then I doubt she will,” Dr. Mind assured Tom, “Now, next question, do you resent Twilight, Tom?”

“No,” Tom answered immediately, “Twilight made a mistake, that’s all. The rest is just bad luck.”

“Good. Same question to you, Twilight, do you resent Tom?” Dr. Mind inquired.

“What? No! It’s my fault we’re stuck like this, why would I resent him?” Twilight was confused. Tom repeated her answer.

“Feelings are seldom logical. You could resent him for taking your body, being forced to use him as a go between for any contact with your friends. Even if in your head you know you shouldn’t, you might resent each other,” Dr. Mind pointed out reasonably. 

“She’s not wrong, but I don’t resent you. If I resent anyone, it’s myself for getting us in this mess in the first place,” Twilight stated plainly. 

“Resenting yourself probably isn’t the best thing either,” Tom remarked. 

“Tom is right, Twilight. Resentment can quickly turn to hatred. Focus on your emotions, accept them for what they are, and then let them go. Hiding them away to fester is harmful. This applies to you as well, Tom. Search your feelings, tell us what you really feel,” Dr. Mind urged. 

Tom closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He took the time to reflect on his time in Equestria. He looked back on how close he was to losing it on his first day, revisiting the panic, the fear, the sorrow, the confusion of being in a completely new, female body. It would be one thing if Twilight and Tom had simply swapped bodies or if the spell had somehow crafted him a new one, even if it was in Twilight’s image, but that wasn’t the case. 

Showering that first time had been miserable. Come to it, showering was still a miserable experience for Tom. He’d just gotten better at ignoring that feeling. Tom knowing that part of taking care of his borrowed body was keeping it clean and Twilight being all understanding about Tom, a male, needing to take care of a female body with all that entailed. 

It wasn’t like he could ‘explore’, for lack of a better word, or otherwise try and get truly familiar with this body. That would involve violating Twilight’s privacy so thoroughly and in such a despicable manner that even if he did go through with it in some bout of madness, he’d never be able to live with himself. 

Tom gathered his thoughts and relayed them to Dr. Mind. She scribbled something down on her notepad. 

“Have you been aroused since inhabiting Twilight’s body?” Dr. Mind asked. Twilight cringed at the question, but Tom was slowly getting used to Dr. Mind’s style of questioning.

“Only a little bit, here and there. The only time I think I’ve been truly horny in Twilight’s body was on my third night here. I was moving around in bed, trying to find a comfortable position and I moved in a way I shouldn’t have and the sheets rubbed me the wrong way, if you catch my drift. Poor Spike must have thought I was having a heart attack from the noise I made as I dashed to the bathroom for a very cold shower,” Tom reminisced.

“Is that what happened? I had wondered why I woke to you screaming like a banshee,” Twilight commented, “I had assumed it was just a bad dream.”

“Tell me about your friends from your old world,” Dr. Mind requested. A flitter of pain crossed Tom’s heart. Heeding Dr. Mind’s advice, he grabbed it, accepted it for what it was, and let it pass.

“Most of my close friends were in my theater troupe. There was Daniel, who couldn’t take anything seriously to save his life. Jessica, she acted with us sometimes, but she was mostly our manager, balancing the books and getting us performances. Huey, he was a method actor if there ever was one. He drove us wild sometimes, but he never let it consume him. Herald, he came from old money, but he was never snobbish about it. He was the one who got us off the ground from just playing about on our campus stage to actually being a troupe. Melody was our costume designer…she would’ve loved Rarity. Finally, there was Cain. He was quiet in day to day, but on stage his voice was powerful and he was able to command attention even when he was stage whispering. There were others, of course, but those six were the ones I was closest with.”

“Were you romantically involved with any of them?” Dr. Mind asked.

“No. I’m straight, so I had no interest in any of the guys. Jessica was dating a guy from out of town, who I met maybe twice and Melody was firmly batting for the other team. I’d make a joke, but I don’t think Melody would be interested in a pony body any more than I am,” Tom quipped. 

“It’s good that you can take this with some amusement. Laughter is the best medicine, after all,” Dr. Mind remarked.

“Yeah, I’d also probably be in a lot worse spot if it weren’t for our friends,” Tom said fondly.

“Speaking of the Bearers, Twilight, would you mind telling me how you met?” Dr. Mind inquired. 

So Twilight, through Tom, retold the story of the night a year ago when she had been sent to oversee the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration in Ponyville. How she had met the soon-to-be Bearers, was quite cold to them, and how the Nightmare had caused them to all band together to enter the Everfree. 

“I don’t know when exactly it was, but when I confronted Nightmare Moon, I realized that those five mares were something special. We were then able to call on the Elements and saved Luna from Nightmare Moon,” Twilight finished her tale. 

“I would like to meet those who brought such a great change on you, Twilight. Something to think about for our next couple of sessions, but for now, I think we’ll leave it here,” Dr. Mind said gently. Tom glanced at the clock and was shocked to see it was already ten minutes past the allotted two hours. 

“Whoops, looks like we lost track of time,” Tom said sheepishly.

“That’s quite alright. I’d like to see you both back here in two weeks time. You can schedule your next appointment with Neat Quills before you leave. It was nice to meet you Tom and nice to see you again Twilight,” Dr. Mind bid them farewell.

Tom and Twilight said goodbye, made their next appointment, and were soon flying at a semi-leisurely pace back to Ponyville. Tom was still mulling over what had been said.

“You don’t have to worry overmuch about what Dr. Mind said, she’s always like that,” Twilight spoke into the silence.

“I feel like I have to worry,” Tom finally said, “What if you are affecting me? What if I’m affecting you? I know Luna said there wouldn’t be any bleeding of our personalities, but what if she was wrong? I’ve already lost my home, my friends and family, my body…what more can I lose before I stop being me?”

“I don’t know how to answer that,” Twilight replied sadly.

“Could you make me my own body?” Tom asked.

“I can think of a few ways to create a golem or automaton, but none would be sophisticated enough to house a Soul, not to mention your mind. The only other thing I can think of would be using a cadaver, but that would be highly illegal, morally questionable, and only serve you a couple of months at best,” Twilight answered.

“Maybe you won’t have to do anything. Discord, can I have a moment of your time?” Tom asked the air. With a horrible ‘shloorp’ sound, a portal opened in the air and out came Discord.

“Of course, I always have time for friends who ask nicely. What can I do for you, Plus One?” Twilight was deeply surprised that Discord would just answer a call like that, but the more she thought on it, the more it made a twisted kind of sense.

“Could you make me my own body? It doesn’t have to be human, or even male, but just a body I can call my own,” Tom tried hard to keep the begging out of his voice. The conversation with Dr. Mind weighed heavily on his mind.

“Tired of Twilight’s DCO? I can’t say that I blame you, it must be awful boring to have to shack up with such an ‘orderly’ mind,” Discord teased, but Twilight refused to rise to the bait.

“No, but I am afraid of the possibility that our personalities could bleed together, hence the request,” Tom said seriously.

“Well, as much as I hate to admit it, I can’t help you,” He summoned an old oil lamp and began to rub it, smoke pouring out to create another Discord, “Near unlimited power I may have, but it is chaos power. With your Souls bound so tightly together, it’s near certainty that if I tried to extract you, one or both of you would wind up more scrambled then the average bear. It’s such a shame too, I had such a wonderful body in mind for you, and it would’ve fit like a glove.” Discord sighed wistfully. 

“Right, trying to figure it out the old fashioned way it is. Thank you for your time, Discord,” Tom said gratefully. 

“Think nothing of it, and hey, chin up. You have Twilight “I eat books for breakfast” Sparkle and don’t think I didn’t notice that new girl you brought home. You’ll have to introduce me sometime. I’m sure you’ll figure it out sooner or later. For now, I must bid you a flamboyant farewell. I’ve managed to snag a place of my own and it still needs decorating!” With a sudden explosion, Discord vanished to wherever his new home was. 

“Don’t worry Tom; Discord is right about one thing. With me and Moon Dancer on the case, we’re sure to figure something out,” Twilight tried to comfort Tom. 

“Yeah, no use stressing out about it,” Tom agreed. He let loose one final sigh. They were closing in on Ponyville and Tom was under the impression that Moon Dancer would relish the chance to flex her intellectual prowess.
> Adventure's Call
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, A Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 8: Adventure's Call


It had been a day since the appointment with Dr. Mind. As Tom had predicted, Moon Dancer had jumped on the problem with zeal. She and Twilight had been shooting proofs, theorems, and various spells at each other for hours. One would suggest an idea and the other would soon rebuff it. Case in point:

“What about reversing Quick Wit’s Melding of the Minds spell?” Moon Dancer asked.

“That only projects a sympathetic version of the caster’s mind into the subject. It wasn’t designed to move actual Minds,” Twilight countered, “What about Sir Harmonica’s Theory of Spirit Manipulation?”

“Tom isn’t a spirit, he’s a Soul. That’s like apples and oranges, Twilight. Even if we could modify the theory for application to a Soul, that’s straying uncomfortably close to Necromancy,” Moon Dancer sighed. This whole conversation had been mostly over Tom’s head, so he was content to just echo Twilight’s thoughts to Moon Dancer. The main sticking point the two had run into was moving Tom’s Soul out of Twilight’s body. They hadn’t even considered how to make a suitable receptacle for his Soul if they could get it out of her body yet. 

A deep scan had revealed that Discord had been correct when he had said Tom’s and Twilight’s Souls were entangled. Any “basic” form of Soul manipulation was designed with unattached Souls, mostly of the dead, in mind. Naturally Necromancy was a highly regulated school of Magic. Not quite totally illegal, the moral implications kept most from practicing it in the first place and those that did so anyway were required to take years of ethics classes in addition to their magical studies. Even studying Necromancy on a technical level, without the intent to cast spells, required a license that was subject to review every other year. Twilight had such a license, but if she wanted to try and cast any spells that would require upgrading that license and that could take upwards of a year. Of course, it would be helpful if Twilight and Moon Dancer could agree on a spell to cast in the first place.

Despite the frustrations of both mares, not being able to find or create a suitable spell, Tom could still sense they were both enjoying themselves immensely. It was the strange satisfaction of having an intellectual equal going over a tough to crack problem in a field you were passionate in. Even if they had been trading failed suggestions all morning, both were struggling to keep a smile from their lips. 

“Could we use the Mirror Pool?” Tom suggested, “You did say it splits a Soul when it makes a copy. Maybe it’ll just take my Soul wholesale and put it in the copy.”

“The Mirror Pool?!” Moon Dancer spluttered in shock. 

“Absolutely not,” Twilight immediately vetoed, “Even if it did just take from your Soul and didn’t create some kind of amalgamation of both our Souls, it wouldn’t take your whole Soul. It would take just enough for some echo of sapience and that construct would be compelled to copy itself over and over, further drawing from the original Soul. The only reason it didn’t destroy Pinkie was her Element of Laughter protected her.”

“The Mirror Pool is real?!” Moon Dancer exclaimed.

“Yeah, Pinkie found it a few months back,” Tom answered.

“Although, speaking of the Mirror Pool, that gives me an idea,” Twilight fed Tom a spellform and he cast it. The result was an illusory Twilight Sparkle.

“Testing, testing, 1 2 3,” If Moon Dancer was surprised to hear Twilight’s voice coming from the illusion, she didn’t show it.

“Lady Subterfuge’s Body Double spell combined with Loud Mouth’s Thought to Voice spell?” 

“Correct! It’s a shame I can’t get any sensory information from this illusion, but it should save Tom having to repeat everything I say,” To Tom, it was like having an echo in his head. He could hear Twilight’s thoughts in his head, but also with his ears. It was mildly disorienting. 

“How long can Tom maintain the spell? The Body Double is pretty mana intensive,” Moon Dancer noted.

“I estimate about an hour before needing to rest. Less if he has to use a notice-me-not on top of it,” Twilight shrugged. 

“I always forget how ridiculous your Mana Font is,” Moon Dancer shook her head. 

“It’s only gotten bigger since I became an Alicorn. To be honest, if I were casting it, I could probably maintain it for two hours, but Tom still has a lot of inefficiencies in his casting. Ah, that isn’t to say what you’re doing is unimpressive, just that you’re still relatively inexperienced,” Twilight backpedaled. Tom rolled his eyes.

“You were literally chosen to represent Magic itself. I think I’ll get over it if I’m not quite a match for you,” Tom said dryly. Twilight chuckled sheepishly.

Twilight and Moon Dancer continued going back and forth with suggestions, with obscure books being pulled from the shelves intermittently to double check some fact or other. This went on for another half hour before Tom’s ear flicked to the side.

“Do you hear that?” Before either mare could answer, the door to the library burst open.

“TWILIGHT, SAY IT AIN’T SO!” Rainbow Dash begged, looking teary eyed, “Why the heck are there two of you?”

“One is just an illusion I’m maintaining,” Tom replied.

“And what do you want me to tell you isn’t so?” Twilight asked.

“The next Daring Do book getting pushed back TWO MONTHS!” Dash sounded on the edge of hysterics. 

“I’m afraid that’s correct, Rainbow. I got word of it a couple of days ago from my Mom,” Twilight replied.

“Why would your mom know?” Rainbow was confused.

“Didn’t I tell you she’s the editor for the Daring Do books? I could’ve sworn I did…” Twilight frowned to herself. 

“No. You’ve never told me anything like that. Kinda like how you never told anyone you had a brother. Or that you were babysat by a princess. Or that you had friends in Canterlot. Or-”

“Alright, alright, I get it! I’m terrible at sharing personal information,” Twilight pouted. Moon Dancer was struggling to keep a smirk off her face. 

“Don’t feel too bad, Rainbow Dash. I didn’t know she had a brother for years, until he came to pick her up from school one day,” The smirk was now in full bloom. 

“Can we go back to Daring Do being delayed?” Twilight groaned. 

“Oh yeah. We gotta do something!” Rainbow shouted.

“Do what? Books get delayed all the time for any number of reasons,” Twilight pointed out reasonably. 

“Hey, you said your mom edits for A.K. Yearling; does she know where she lives?” Rainbow questioned. 

“I’m sure she has an idea. She has to know where to send her corrections and suggestions. Why?” Twilight asked suspiciously.

“Well, maybe we can help A.K. Yearling with whatever it is that’s keeping her from finishing the next Daring Do book!” Rainbow suggested.

“No. That would be a gross violation of her privacy,” Twilight denied.

“Come on, Twilight, what’s the worst that can happen? We turn up at her door and she tells us to go away? What if she does want our help? We could witness greatness as it happens!” Rainbow said with awe. 

Tom personally didn’t see what the big deal was. He had read the Daring Do books at Twilight’s behest, and while he thought they were good for what they were, he preferred high fantasy or sci-fi to an Indiana Jones like series. However, he was also aware how rabid a fanbase could be and Rainbow clearly filled the ‘rabid’ category. Wisely, he kept his thoughts to himself.

“That is a surprisingly logical argument from you, Rainbow,” Twilight remarked.

“Hey!” Rainbow could tell when she was being given a backhanded compliment.

“However, I’m sure if A.K. Yearling wanted help, she is perfectly capable of hiring it on her own,” Twilight said resolutely.

“What kind of help could measure up to me and an Alicorn? A.K. Yearling deserves the best!” Rainbow insisted.

“I think we should go,” Tom threw in his two cents.

“Tom?!” Twilight was taken off guard.

“Look, we both know Dashie is gonna figure out a way to find A.K. Yearling with or without us. She may be a jock, but she isn’t dumb. At least if we go with her, we can try and curb her enthusiasm. As she said, the worst that can happen is A.K. Yearling tells us to piss off and that’s the end of it,” Tom reasoned. Twilight mulled it over for a minute.

“Oh, fine, I guess you’re right. I’ll write Mom and ask for an address,” Twilight sighed in defeat. 

That was how, a day later, Tom, Twilight, Moon Dancer, and Rainbow wound up outside a severely beaten up looking cottage. They had used a teleport chain to get there as quickly as they had.

“Looks like someone either threw quite the wild party or there was a heck of a struggle,” Tom noted.

“Why would anyone ransack a writer’s house like this? It’s not like Yearling comes from old money or would have tons of valuables at her house,” Moon Dancer wondered.

“No sense standing around wondering right now. Yearling could be hurt,” Twilight pointed out. The door fell off its hinges as Rainbow knocked.

“Hello? Ms. Yearling, are you here?” Rainbow called out. Somehow the inside of the cottage looked even worse than the outside. Books strewn everywhere, tables and chairs destroyed, the whole nine yards. 

“Ms. Yearling, if you can hear us, please say something!” Tom shouted into the house, but received no reply.  They cautiously entered the cottage.

“I’ll check upstairs,” Rainbow flew off to do just that. Tom and Moon Dancer looked over the ground floor. It wasn’t a big cottage, so it took but a moment. A.K. Yearling was nowhere to be found.

“At least there’s no blood,” Tom said lightly.

“That still begs the question of where A.K. Yearling is,” Moon Dancer said.

“She’s right here,” A female voice growled, the quartet turned to see A.K. Yearling herself standing in the doorway, “What in Tartarus happened here?!”

“A.K. Yearling..?” Rainbow was in full fangirl mode. 

“It was like this when we got here,” Tom responded.

“We were worried you had been hurt, so came inside to look for you,” Moon Dancer added. 

“Wait a minute, aren’t you Velvet’s kid? Twilight Sparkle?” A.K. Yearling asked.

“Yes ma’am,” Tom lied. 

“I didn’t think Velvet’d sic her kid on me for being late with the manuscript. Especially not the kid who’s also a princess,” Yearling deadpanned. Yearling shook her head and began rummaging around the mess, clearly looking for something. “Have to say, never thought her little ‘Twi Pie’ would wind up a princess.”

“‘Twi Pie’?” Rainbow Dash looked like she had just hit blackmail gold. 

“Oops, did I say that out loud?” Yearling was totally unrepentant, “Ah ha! Found it!” 

Yearling pulled a book out from under some rubble, fiddled with a locking mechanism, and pulled out some kind of golden ring from the hollowed out book.

“Er, I know this is probably a bad time, but is there anything we can do to, you know, help you get your next book finished?” Rainbow asked hopefully. Yearling favored her with a level glare.

“I told Velvet and I’ll tell you, it’ll be done when I’m done! Sweet Celestia, I get put behind just a little because of some unforeseen circumstances and suddenly everyone from the Princesses down wants answers,” Yearling grumbled. 

“We’re sorry, we’ll be going now,” Tom apologized. He had to shove Rainbow out the door, but they did technically leave. 

“I told you A.K. Yearling wanted privacy,” Twilight reprimanded Rainbow. 

“Yeah, yeah, you were right,” Rainbow sighed.

“Uh, I think the ponies who ransacked Ms. Yearling’s house are back,” Moon Dancer pointed to the roof of the cottage, where seven ponies were slipping in the window.

“That’s not good,” Tom said unnecessarily. They bolted back to the door, only to find Yearling already fighting the invaders after shedding her disguise.

“A.K. Yearling is Daring Do?!” Rainbow and Twilight shouted in shock. 

“Don’t just stand there, help her!” Tom called out has he joined the fray with bolts of magic. Rainbow Dash, not one to be outdone, charged in as well.

“I- uh- but- I didn’t sign up for this!” Moon Dancer complained, but ultimately assisted with spells from as far a distance to the actual brawl as she could manage. 

If the cottage was banged up before, it was on its last legs now. Wooden support pillars were groaning ominously, but none of the combatants paid it any mind. They were all focused on the ring. It changed ownership every few seconds, being pulled this way and that by hoof, wing, and magic. 

Eventually, Daring, who had the ring at the moment, was sucker punched by a burly Earth Pony while she was fighting an enemy unicorn for control of the ring. The unicorn, surprised by the sudden lack of resistance, didn’t compensate and the ring flew into the doorway. Tom spotted it flying and teleported to it, picking it up. Before he could do anything else, he was hit hard in the head from behind.

Tom’s vision swam and a kick to his legs brought him down. The ring was plucked from his grasp. He then felt his left wing being pulled out before it was stepped on with a sickening crunch.

“AHHHHHHHHHH!” Tom screamed in pain. It wasn’t the worst pain he had ever felt, but that was little comfort.

“Twilight!” Rainbow and Moon Dancer cried out.

“Cabelleron, you son of a bitch!” Daring snarled, “She has nothing to do with this!”

“She got in the way of what I want. She is lucky I don’t lower myself to killing. Although, it would be fascinating to find out if Alicorns are as immortal as legends suggest…” Dr. Cabelleron shrugged, “Something for later. I have what I want. Come along, men.”

With that, Dr. Cabelleron’s forces withdrew. Rainbow clearly wanted to go after them, but chose staying by Tom and Twilight’s side instead. Those two weren’t the only ones banged up, as Daring was moving about with a noticeable limp in her right foreleg. 

“Oh, Celestia, I’m so sorry, if I had only-” Moon Dancer started babbling.

“None of that,” Tom ordered through gritted teeth as Daring fashioned splints for both herself and Tom, “Cabelleron’s the lowlife who fought dirty and broke my wing. You performed admirably for that being your first real fight.”

“Twilight’s right. We were outnumbered and playing defense. They also didn’t care about who got hurt. Now we just have to get the ring before Ahuizotl gets it from Cabelleron and his hold on the Fortress of Talacon becomes permanent for eight centuries. Then I can give it to Celestia like I was hired to do in the first place,” Daring explained.

“Celestia knows Daring Do?!” Twilight was shocked.

“Does my Mom know you’re Daring Do?” Tom asked.

“We can talk while we walk,” Daring said as she exited her cottage by wing, “And I sure hope so. We went to school together and she’s the one who came up with the name A.K. Yearling in the first place.”

“So Mom and Princess Celestia both know Daring Do is a real pony and neither told me. I want to be angry at them, but at the same time, secret identity, so whatever,” Twilight sighed. 

“Celestia hired you?” Rainbow asked.

“Sure, most of my adventures have been on Celestia’s behest. Writing is nice and all, and extra bits are never a bad thing, but these jobs from Celestia are what really pay the bills,” Daring answered. 

“I feel like my childhood is being ruthlessly crushed,” Rainbow moaned piteously.

“Rainbow, you didn’t even know the books existed a year ago,” Both Twilight and Tom deadpanned. Daring snickered.

“Welcome to the real world, kiddo,” She said mercilessly. 

“So, I’m guessing that ring was the last of the Rings of Scorchero Ahuizotl needs to break the Radiant Shield of Razdon?” Twilight asked and Tom passed along.

“Exactly…I guess I shouldn’t be surprised Velvet’s kid has read my books. Before you ask, yes, they’re all accurate retellings of my adventures, just with some civilian names changed and dates moved around,” Daring preempted Twilight’s next question. 

“So, what’s the plan? Are we gonna swoop in and swipe back the ring before they can do anything about it? Are we gonna wait until cover of night and sneakily take it while they’re all asleep? Ohmygosh, this is so cool!” Rainbow was full on fangasaming. 

“Take a breath before you hurt yourself, filly,” Daring chided, “Anyway, if I know Cabelleron, he’s going to take the Ring straight to Ahuizotl, no stops or breaks. He’s a cruel taskmaster. Although, I have to wonder what Ahuizotl offered the rat bastard.”

“Doesn’t Ahuizotl still have the Dark Prince’s Crown from book two? The one that’s powered by the evil intentions of a pony’s Heart?” Rainbow asked.

“Hmm, something useless to Ahuizotl, but in Cabelleron’s hooves could cause a lot of trouble…yeah, that sounds way too likely. I’d hate to see what kind of damage Cabelleron could do with it,” Daring shuddered.

“All the more reason to stop him before he gets that far,” Tom said simply. 

Day faded into night and night gave way to day as the group tirelessly followed Cabelleron’s trail. Eventually it ended at the Temple of Talacon. Thanks to an invisibility spell Moon Dancer knew, slipping inside was no problem, but what they saw nearly cause them to panic. The last ring was about to be put in position with Ahuizotl and Cabelleron watching on eagerly.

“I want my Crown, Ahuizotl,” Cabelleron said in his oily voice.

“Yes, yes, after the ceremony is completed, then you’ll have your precious Crown,” Ahuizotl waved him off. 

Thinking fast, Dash flew at top speed at the ring. Fortunately, Dash’s top speed was quite considerable, and she was able to grab the ring before any of the cult of ponies could stop her. 

“WHO DARES?!” Ahuizotl bellowed. 

“I’ve foiled you so many times, is it really any surprise?” Daring Do mocked as Moon Dancer dropped the invisibility spell. 

“Daring Do, I should have known you and your little friends would appear as an annoyance once again. What are you standing around for?!” Ahuizotl barked at the cult, “GET THEM!”

Unlike when Cabelleron’s goons had ambushed them, Tom, Twilight, and Moon Dancer had been preparing for this confrontation. Together, they were able to muster dozens of incorporeal illusions to baffle their enemies. 

“Earn your keep, Cabelleron!” Ahuizotl ordered as he joined the fray, trying to find the real ring. Cabelleron did as he was told, although none of his henchmen seemed to be around. 

While they were all distracted by illusions, Daring and Rainbow tried to take down all the rings. Daring had informed them beforehand that if all the rings were removed, the temple would be destroyed and thus unable to fulfill its curse. Unfortunately, that was easier said than done. The rings were almost solid gold, so they were quite heavy in their own right and with Daring’s sprained foreleg, she could only help Rainbow lift so much. Add on the fact that the rings were resistant to Unicorn magic, well; Rainbow and Daring were only able to remove half of the smaller rings before they were spotted. 

“Shit, we gotta take out these rings while we have the chance!” Daring swore as a spear came uncomfortably close to skewering her. Tom and Moon Dancer were also quickly running out of steam from maintaining so many illusions. 

“Tom, I have a crazy idea, but it might just work. Drop the illusions and if both you and Moon Dancer focus all your mana on the rings, it might overcome their natural resistance. If we’re lucky, they might even melt,” Twilight suggested. Tom relayed the plan to the rest of the team. Tom personally didn't like the number of mights and maybes in the plan, but couldn't see an alternative. Not with his wing still busted and thus unable to help Daring and Dash lift the rings. 

“Daring and I will fly interference. Don’t take too long, even with our combined awesomeness, I’m not sure how long we can hold them,” Dash offered.  

“I don’t know how much help I’ll be, but I’m willing to try,” Moon Dancer’s heart was beating loudly in her ears. How did Twilight and the others do this on a regular basis? But she kept a grip on herself and took a steadying breath. 

“OK, on my mark. Three, two, one, NOW!” All the illusions vanished. Daring and Rainbow plowed into the still confused ponies without remorse. Meanwhile Moon Dancer and Tom were pouring every thaum of mana they still possessed into the rings. Both their horns were glowing near white. Moon Dancer achieved a full second corona, an impressive feat for any Unicorn, and Tom was straddling the line between three and four coronas with the extra power Alicornhood offered. Sparks of wasted energy flew off both horns as the rings slowly, ever so slowly began to lift off the ground.

“Must I do everything?!” Ahuizotl yelled in frustration as he charged the two casters. Thankfully, Rainbow Dash was faster. Making a snap decision, she flew up into the sky through the skylight and flew for all she was worth downwards, into Ahuizotl’s path, achieving a Sonic Rainboom in the process. 

Several things happened at once when the Rainboom went off. Moon Dancer and Tom both received a sudden power boost, sending Moon Dancer to a full third corona and Tom to five. The rings all instantaneously melted. Ahuizotl, Cabelleron, and their goons were sent flying by Rainbow’s impact. Finally the Temple of Talacon began to collapse and so did Tom and Moon Dancer.

“We’ve gotta get outta here!” Daring shouted over the falling rubble, “Everyone RUN!”

Those with their wits still about them after the Rainboom either fled to save their own hides or helped unconscious comrades escape the crumbling temple. Rainbow and Daring took their unconscious friends and flew out the skylight. Only Ahuizotl remained in the temple, cursing Daring Do’s name and lamenting all that he had lost as the temple fell around him.





Tom awoke to a splitting headache in an unfamiliar bed.

“Oh boy, I remember how this story ends. Am I in another new body?” Tom winced as he spoke.

“No, I’m afraid you’re still inhabiting Twilight’s body,” A gentle voice responded. Tom cracked open an eye and saw Celestia sitting at his bedside. 

“What happened? Last thing I remember is Rainbow doing a Rainboom,” Tom whispered so as to not aggravate his headache.

“The Rings of Scorchero are destroyed thanks to the five of you and the Temple of Talacon is nothing more than rubble now. You and Moon Dancer have both been out cold for two days from magical exhaustion. She awoke a couple of hours ago, so I knew you wouldn’t be far behind. Equestria, and indeed Equuis as a whole, owe you all a debt of gratitude for what you have done,” Celestia said.

“I’m sensing a ‘but’ here and I think I know what it is. This whole adventure is strictly ‘off the books’ except for what Daring publishes under the guise of fiction, right?” Tom asked.

“That is correct. Only a select few ponies know Daring is a real pony at all and she’s always been paid directly from my personal finances to avoid creating a paper trail. It wouldn’t do for it to become public knowledge that some of the things she’s collected for me actually exist,” Celestia explained. 

“A select few ponies like my Mom,” Twilight groused, but didn’t say anything further. 

“So where are we anyway?” Tom finally asked.

“We’re in the hospital wing of the Royal Palace. Twilight has been here often enough from magical mishaps,” Celestia teased, “Some things never change.”

“I haven’t needed to stay in the hospital wing since I was sixteen!” Twilight protested as Tom tested his left wing. It was good as new.

“So when are we free to go? I imagine our Ponyville friends are wondering where we disappeared to,” Tom mused. 

“They’ve been told that the four of you went on a top secret mission for the Crown. I leave it up to your discretion if you tell them anything more,” Celestia informed them.

“Rainbow’ll need to tell someone or she’ll explode. The rest of the former Bearers can certainly be trusted to keep their mouths shut,” Tom said with a shrug. 

“I quite agree with you. For now, I must take my leave. I’ve been away from the court long enough and I’m sure the doctor would like to check you over for a few hours to make sure you’re both recovering properly,” With that, Celestia left and the doctor entered the room to begin a seemingly endless battery of tests.





Luna had been flying for nearly three days straight. The only reason she hadn’t just teleported to the Hive was that her memories of it were fuzzy at best and she didn’t want to risk teleporting into a rock. That was unpleasant and messy even for an Alicorn. But finally, her goal was in sight. 

Luna pushed her tired wings for more speed and was soon outside the entrance to the Hive. It looked slightly different to what she remembered. A thousand years ago, it had been more of a beehive shape, whereas now it looked more akin to the stretching spires of Canterlot Castle. Seeing no living soul around, Luna entered the Hive.

Under normal circumstances, Luna would have cast a scanning spell to see if anything were alive in the Hive, but the monolith that prevented all but Changeling magic from working in and around the Hive seemed to still be working. Luna felt a pang in her heart. Chrysalis had once made an exception for her in the monolith’s workings, but that looked to no longer be the case. 

“Hello? Are any Changelings still dwelling here?” Luna called out. She resisted the urge to use the Canterlot Royal Voice. While that would certainly make sure anything still living in the Hive would know she was there, she knew the Changeling’s more sensitive hearing would definitely not appreciate it.

Suddenly her ears perked up, was it her imagination or had she just heard the skittering of Changelings? She heedlessly bolted forward, her former weariness forgotten. She chased the sound, ignoring everything else, until it found her entering the throne room, home of the monolith. It was dark as the blackest night that deep in the Hive, but Luna was the night itself and had no trouble seeing the spindly, clearly starving figure on the throne.

“Chrysalis.”
> Reunion
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 9: Reunion


“Luna,” If Chrysalis’ voice was a bit cold, Luna didn’t notice, “What are you-”

Luna burst forward, wrapping her old friend in a bear hug. The feeling of Chrysalis’ chitinous carapace affirming to Luna that her friend was, in fact, real. The moon goddess was on the verge of tears. She never wanted to let go of Chrysalis again.

“What the blazes are you doing?!” Chrysalis shouted. Luna pulled away just far enough to look the Changeling Queen in the eyes.

“It’s called a ‘hug’, Chrissy. Surely neither of us have been gone long enough to forget what a hug is,” Luna teased. She pulled Chrysalis close again, “I thought you were dead.”

“You thought I was dead? What do you mean ‘neither of us have been gone long enough’? Hold on a moment, I must be missing something,” Chrysalis was baffled and her voice betrayed that fact. Luna reluctantly let Chrysalis go and explained everything. Celestia’s sealing the Changelings, her lie to Luna, her banishment of Luna to the moon, and her deception in the wake of the wedding.

“That lying, conniving, backstabbing BITCH!” Chrysalis roared at the end of Luna’s tale. 

“Believe me, Chrissy, I am just as mad at my sister as you are. That can wait, however. I can see your trembling isn’t entirely from rage. Here, eat,” Luna softly ordered, sending a stream of Love infused magic from her horn. Chrysalis turned it away.

“I must feed my children first,” Chrysalis said softly. Luna wanted to argue, to point out that if Chrysalis wasted away of starvation, her children would be lost without her leadership. But Luna was familiar enough with Chrysalis to know she would be stubborn about it to the end.

“Then summon them all here. I will feed the whole Hive if I must,” Luna said resolutely.

“Absolutely not, even for an Alicorn that is too much, Lulu,” Chrysalis protested.

“You underestimate the strength of my will. I won’t be able to move my moon tonight if I do so, that much is true. However, I had foreseen this possibility and left those in Equestria with the knowledge to move my moon for me if it was so needed. Please, summon your children here so that they, and you, may have a full belly, at least for tonight,” Luna pleaded. 

“I can see I won’t be able to dissuade you…very well,” Over the course of the next minute, several hundred Changelings made their way into the throne room at their Queen’s request. Once all were gathered, Luna opened up her considerable font of magic, passed it through a filter of Love for the Changeling Queen and her people, and sent it out towards the waiting Changelings. 

Greedily, all Changelings present supped of Luna’s Love. One by one, each Changeling had their fill for the first time in living memory and one by one they each slipped into sleep. When all were filled and all were asleep, save Chrysalis, Luna closed her Font. It was nearly empty and a lesser being would be laid out for magical exhaustion. As it was, Luna was more exhausted than she could remember being since being purged of the Nightmare. 

“Stars, I had forgotten what it was like to not be hungry. Thank you, Lulu. Once again, you have proven yourself a true friend. I must find a way to repay you one day,” Chrysalis said gratefully.

“If you must repay me, then tell me of your failed assault on my adoptive niece’s wedding,” Luna requested as she lay down. Chrysalis cringed.

“That was not my finest hour.”

“I had gathered as much, but I want to hear it all from the source,” Luna replied.

“Very well…the seal Celestia placed on us had only broken a few weeks before. We were still acclimating to the modern world and I was half crazed from starvation. When I heard a new Alicorn had appeared, an Alicorn of Love no less, I knew I had to have her. Surely an Alicorn of Love could more than feed the entire Hive, I thought,” Chrysalis regaled.

“But-”

“Yes, I know, Love must be for something. Love for home and hearth, Love for family, Love for a mate, and so on. Unless we somehow incited Stockholm syndrome in Cadence, she would no doubt have very little Love to share with us. In any case, my fevered mind decided that a wedding for said Alicorn would be a feast for myself and my children. So I personally kidnapped Cadence, hid her in the old mines under Canterlot, and took her place.”

“And the note warning Celestia that someone would attack the wedding?” Luna asked.

“I thought that it would draw ponies closer to their loved ones. Surprisingly, that was the only part of that mad plan that actually worked. We were only able to harvest precious little Love from the ponies huddling with their loved ones, but any little bit was better than none. Anyway, as I pretended to be Cadence, I ran afoul of the Bearers of Harmony and Twilight Sparkle in particular. I had ignored even the most basic step of infiltration: knowing the one you imitated. By some miracle, I was able to keep it together long enough to actually get to the wedding ceremony. That was where my plan completely lost the plot,” Chrysalis chuckled ruefully.

“Sending the whole of the Swarm at Captain Armor’s shield spell?” Luna asked.

“Yes. Forget quietly whisking away Shining and Cadence during their honeymoon! Why have two lovebirds in my clutches producing a small but steady stream of Love for each other when I could send all of Canterlot into fear and anger! Progenitor, I still don’t remember what possessed me to think that was a good idea. I’m actually thankful to the two of them for that Love shield they produced. It sent enough of a shock to my system that I snapped out of my insanity. I painted myself as a perfect evil villain. Since then I’ve had my children mostly remain in the Hive or to the civilizations south of us. No need to risk Celestia resealing us, I figured,” Chrysalis confessed.

“Yes, according to my sister, seeing you again gave her quite the surprise,” Luna confided.

“Good!” Chrysalis exclaimed, “I’d like to shock her for real next time!”

“I think I have an idea for just that,” Luna grinned conspiratorially.

“Oh? Do tell, Lulu,” Chrysalis requested.

“Come with me to Ponyville!” Luna offered.

“Where the Bearers all live? Ha-ha, no thank you,” Chrysalis rejected the idea.

“The Bearers are all aware of my sister’s deceptions. They would welcome you with open arms,” Luna cajoled. 

“Even if the Bearers accept me, what of the rest of Ponyville?” Chrysalis asked.

“They are an adaptable lot. They may be wary of you and your children for a time, but I am confident they will ultimately accept you,” Luna replied. Chrysalis turned the offer over in her head.

“I…suppose we could do worse than setting up in Ponyville. However, you have to promise to run interference with Cadence and Shining if those two come for my head,” Chrysalis nearly begged, but Queens do not beg.

“I will be living in Ponyville for a while. I don’t think I shall be able to stomach being in near contact with my sister for some decades at least. If Cadence and Armor come after you, they shall have to quite literally go through me first,” Luna promised. 

“Good. Then I suppose I should tell my children to begin getting ready once they all wake up. Should we teleport ahead or arrive with the Swarm, do you think?” Chrysalis pondered.

“Teleport ahead. We don’t want to cause any undue panic by suddenly turning up with the entire Swarm and no warning,” Luna counseled. 

“Yes, that’s probably wise,” Chrysalis agreed.

“Also, before we arrive in Ponyville, you should probably know that Twilight was experimenting with some of my old spells about a month ago. The results being that she is now trapped in her own head and another Soul, named Tom, is in control. Tom has proven to be a mostly affable sort, but I thought it best for you to know ahead of time anyway,” Luna explained.

“That is…interesting,” Chrysalis said honestly. What else could be said about the situation before she met the pair and could examine the results of Twilight’s experimentation herself? Luna let out a yawn. It was contagious and Chrysalis yawned soon after.

“What say you to following your children’s lead and turning in for the night?” Luna asked drowsily. 

“That sounds excellent. Good night, Lulu,” Chrysalis bid as she lay down to sleep. The cold stone of the floor of the throne room did little to deter her as her full stomach kept her warm.

“Good night, Chrissy,” Luna returned and soon both old friends were fast asleep.
> Ponyville Forward Operations Base
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 10: Ponyville Forward Operations Base


With a ‘pop’ of magical discharge, Luna and Chrysalis, the latter of who was in disguise as a nondescript gray Unicorn mare, appeared at the outskirts of Ponyville. Chrysalis moved with a tense nervousness as the pair walked into Ponyville proper on their way to Golden Oaks Library. The townsfolk, who were used to Royalty in general and growing used to Luna in particular, did little more than wave in greeting along with the occasional bow. 

Luna smiled to herself. There was a time when she would have demanded they stand on formality, but that time was long past. It had only served to distance her from subjects and potential friends when all she really wanted was companionship. As she and Chrysalis continued walking, suddenly Chrysalis spoke up.

“I’m suddenly not sure this is a good idea, I can always-” Chrysalis was cut off by Luna moving a feather over her friend’s mouth.

“Peace, Chrissy, they are all ponies, not vicious manticores. Those of Ponyville are quick to forget past transgressions and faster to welcome you into their community, I speak from personal experience. There are also a few who can be a touch melodramatic, so I think you’ll fit right in,” Luna poked fun at the disguised Changeling. Chrysalis let out a ‘humph’.

“I am not melodramatic,” She pouted. Luna just giggled and said nothing. 

Soon the duo was standing outside Golden Oaks and Luna knocked on the door. A unicorn mare Chrysalis didn’t recognize opened the door.

“Oh, Princess Luna! And, uh…” The mare trailed off.

“Chrysalis,” The Changeling Queen supplied.

“Right,” A look of not quite placed recognition crossed her face. How out of the loop was this mare to not know that Chrysalis was the name of the crazed Changeling Queen who invaded Canterlot? “Come in, I’ll go wake Twilight.”

“You may speak plainly, Moon Dancer. Chrysalis knows of Tom and Twilight’s predicament. Why are they sleeping this late in the day?” Luna asked.

“They just got back from Canterlot late last night,” The purple dragonling, Spike, if Chrysalis’ memory served, answered from up on a ladder, “It was apparently an exhausting stay.”

Before more questions could be asked, the Alicorn in question came stumbling down the stairs, seemingly still half asleep.

“Luna, I love you, but you really couldn’t have picked a worse time,” Twilight, or was that Tom? Complained. 

“I apologize to both of you, but I found her!” Chrysalis took this as her que to resume her natural shape. 

“Nice to meet you, your Majesty,” Tom’s voice carried a slightly sarcastic tone that caused Luna to arch an eyebrow.

“Sir Tom, you appear to be in quite an irritable mood. Pray tell what has you in such state. If it is just our rousing you from your slumber, please return to sleep with our apologies,” Luna said. Tom let out a long sigh.

“No, I’m sorry. For one thing, I need to be up anyway or I’ll never get to sleep tonight. It’s just…” Tom trailed off, trying to find the right words, “Twilight and I were in Canterlot because our most recent misadventure. Twilight’s parents insisted we stay a couple of days, which wasn’t a problem. Twi’s folks are great. Celestia is why I’m such a sour grape. She insisted on meeting us in the most public places and all but groveling to try and get Twilight to forgive her. To do that, she talked right through me like I wasn’t even there. Didn’t so much as acknowledge me the whole time we were staying with Twilight’s parents, even when we were out of the public eye. It was damn annoying is what it was. I couldn’t say anything either, because in public I had to pretend everything is fine because nobody knows about your fight and thus why Twilight is so put out with Sunbutt.”

“That sounds unfortunately like something my sister would do. She was attempting to make a power play with you while trying to curry Twilight’s favor. I can think of a few reasons why she felt the need to do so and I’m sure between the two of you, you also have a fair idea,” Luna sounded most displeased with her pain in the plot sister. As if she wasn’t already peeved at her enough already.

“Right, so I hope you can understand when I say the only ‘royal’ thing I’m of a mind to deal with right now is a royal ice cream sundae,” Tom concluded.

“Aye, my sister can be most ungraceful when dealing with surprise. It is why she works so hard at the chess master visage. If she already knows how all the pieces will move, then nothing can surprise her and thus throw her off balance,” Luna explained.

“And she was Laughter?” Tom asked.

“Humor is subjective and thus Laughter is the most variable of the Elements. Although to be frank, I quite prefer Pinkie Pie’s Laughter to that of my sister,” Luna confided.

“Sounds like we could start up an ‘I hate Celestia’ club,” Chrysalis snarked. 

“We could overthrow Celestia’s evil, selfish ass and install Luna as leader of our glorious new Lunar Republic! Viva La Revolution!” Tom looked like he was going to say something else, but paused.

“Yes, Twilight, I know it wouldn’t be a republic if we installed Luna as the goddess-empress of it. I did grow up in a democratic republic. But ‘Lunar Republic’ sounds nice and sometimes sounding nice is more important than the technical accuracy.” Luna just rolled her eyes.

“We aren’t overthrowing evil despots today. Even those as evil and despotic as my sister,” Luna said with a small smile.

“Aww,” Chrysalis and Tom chorused. 

“You people are crazy,” Moon Dancer remarked, though not without affection.

“You get used to it,” Spike said with a shrug. 

“So what are we doing today? I assume you didn’t just wake me to say ‘hi’ to your gal pal,” Tom quipped.

“Indeed, I wish to introduce Chrysalis to the other Elements properly. You should probably also fetch the mayor. Chrissy and I intend to bring the whole Changeling Swarm to Ponyville. I further intend to gift them with some land on the edge of the Everfree with which to construct a new Hive,” Luna announced her plans. Tom let out a low whistle.

“Sunbutt isn’t gonna like that,” He remarked. 

“If Celestia wishes to challenge my granting of land, as is my right as Princess, then she may take it up with me directly. I shall make that land sovereign land of the Changelings if need be,” Luna stated firmly.

“Lulu, you don’t have to do that, just the grant of land is more than enough,” Chrysalis protested.

“I will only do it if Celestia escalates the matter, but I am fully prepared to do so. After what she’s done, she can certainly give up a little land to make amends,” Luna replied.

“I’ll go fetch the Elements and Mayor Mare then. Actually, before I go, would either of you two have an idea for how to disentangle my Soul from Twilight’s so I can get a body of my own? I admit part of it is me being paranoid about our personalities bleeding over, but it’d also be nice just to have my own body and for Twilight to reclaim ownership of hers,” Another pause, “Twilight says Changelings are a hive mind? Maybe you can throw me in one of the drones, at least temporarily?

Chrysalis couldn’t help it, she burst out laughing. That old myth was still around? Luna knocked her upside the head with a wing.

“Don’t laugh at them, Chrissy, it isn’t that funny,” Luna chastised.

“It is entirely that funny,” Chrysalis disagreed, “I even know where that old rumor came from!” At this point, Tom was blinking owlishly at the pair.

“I take it this means Changelings don’t have a hive mind?” He asked for clarification.

“No, Changelings don’t have a collective consciousness. Every Changeling, from the lowest drone on up is a full individual. What we do have, however, is a collective subconsciousness. As Queen, only I am able to access this subconscious nebula of unregistered thoughts and emotions and I’ve yet to find a good use for it except knowing that my children can’t lie to me or if they are unduly troubled by something. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help,” Chrysalis said sincerely.

“I think I might have a solution, as far as the disentanglement of your Souls is concerned,” Luna said with some confidence, “There is an old semi-necromantic ritual that was used to fuse Souls back before the reign of Discord."

“Why would anyone make such a ritual?!” Tom exclaimed in surprise.

“Ah, that requires a bit of a story. To put it as simply as I am able…Before the reign of Discord, there were a whole host of terrible monsters that made the Windigos look like tame kittens. If there is one good thing that came of his reign, he didn’t like competition or things that would break his ‘toys’. So he exterminated a great many of these horrors. One such horror was monsters known as devoratores,” Luna reminisced.

“Devourers?” Tom asked.

“Aye, I believe that is what they would be called in the modern tongue. They devoured one thing almost exclusively: The Souls of those less than a year old. They would occasionally go after those a bit older, but that was their primary diet. They cared not for race or species. Pony, Griffon, Hippogriff, Beastman, every sapient species has a Soul and every child that had yet to see their first birthday was at risk,” Luna told them.

“That’s…that’s terrible,” Tom whispered.

“They were not called ‘horrors’ because they were cute and cuddly,” Luna replied dryly, “In some instances, the monsters were discovered in the midst of their feeding and chased off before they could consume the entire Soul. Unfortunately, for ones so young, even losing a tiny portion of their Soul would be catastrophic, often leading to death shortly thereafter. Eventually, the sapient races of Equuis decided enough was enough and convened a great council of their greatest minds to combat the threat. One of the results of that council is the ritual I speak of. It was designed for an older member of the attacked one’s family, usually a dead one, but not always, to offer a piece of their own Soul to fuse to and heal the young one’s Soul. The ritual itself was a resounding success. Where before the mortality rate of those rescued in the midst of an attack was nearly 100%, it fell to 20%. The only reason it was not lower was because of the one drawback to the ritual. It could only be preformed safely on the Winter Solstice. Any other day of the year and there was a very real risk that the ritual could go wrong and corrupt both Souls. I am certain I can reverse the ritual to be used to extract your Soul from Twilight, Tom, but I am almost as certain that it must be performed on the Winter Solstice.”

“Well, that’s not too bad. The Winter Solstice is in six months. I was honestly afraid it’d be something like ‘you can only do this once every thirteen years and, whoops, you just missed your chance’.” Tom confessed.

“Most spells and rituals like this are on a yearly timeframe. Those that require such a specific placement of celestial bodies are few and far between and usually high specialized besides. Even the spell the Nightmare used to break us free of the moon, one that took a thousand year cycle, could only serve that one function,” Luna assured him.

“It’s good to have that weight off our mind, at least. Now Twilight, Moon Dancer, and I can all focus on making a receptacle for my Soul when it does get removed, unless you have a suggestion for that too?” Tom asked hopefully.

“Unfortunately not, dolls and golems of my time were nothing compared to the modern era and even still there is not a fitting creation for placing a Soul in,” Luna answered. Tom’s ear drooped a little. 

“Figured I’d ask just in case…I’ll be right back with the Elements and Mayor Mare,” Tom promised as he exited the library. 

“I’m glad bedtime is still hours away. I don’t think I’m going to get much sleep after hearing all that,” Spike quipped from where he was dusting a bookshelf.

“Agreed,” Moon Dancer said with a shiver. Monsters that ate Souls, even if they were extinct, were easy nightmare fuel. 

“Sometimes I forget how ancient you are, Lulu,” Chrysalis teased. 

“I am only two millennia older than you, Chrissy,” Luna tried to sound petulant, but her quivering lips gave away her mirth. 

Soon enough, Tom returned with the promised entourage of mares behind him. 

“Hiya, Queen Chrysalis! I know we’ve met before, but we didn’t really meet meet, so hi, I’m Pinkie Pie! I know you were evil and crazy before, but we get that a lot around here, so welcome to Ponyville, Equestria’s capital for reforming villains!” Pinkie Pie was just as energetic as Chrysalis remembered, but she was now in a much better state of mind to enjoy it and Pinkie’s Love of Life. 

“‘Equestria’s capital for reforming villains’?” Luna asked with an arched eyebrow.

“I disavow any knowledge of making such a claim for Ponyville,” Mayor Mare deadpanned.

“Well, it only makes sense! We have Luna, we have Discord, we have Trixie who knocks about every few weeks, but is too afraid to actually come into town, we have the Doctor, and we have Twilight!” Pinkie listed off.

“Twilight?” Luna sounded confused and so was Chrysalis. Rainbow Dash then let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like ‘want-it need-it spell’. Luna seemed to understand in any event, because she shot a smirk in Twilight’s direction.

“Twilight would like to register that she was under extreme duress when that happened,” Tom announced.

“Like I said, evil and crazy,” Pinkie retorted casually, “Doesn’t have to be in that order.”

“You actually used the want-it need-it spell?” Moon Dancer sounded surprised. Tom focused for a moment and an illusory clone of Twilight appeared.

“I was under extreme duress! I wasn’t thinking clearly!” Twilight protested the slings and arrows leveled against her. 

“Yeah, the ‘extreme duress’ of thinking you might disappoint Celestia if you were a little late with a friendship report,” Rainbow Dash called out. Twilight looked pained, but couldn’t actually refute the Pegasus.

“Um, pleased to meet you, your Majesty,” The other Pegasus in the room, Fluttershy, finally greeted Chrysalis. Unlike when Tom had used the words earlier, Fluttershy was utterly sincere and adorable besides. 

“I’m pleased to finally be able to make your proper acquaintance as well, Fluttershy,” Chrysalis returned Fluttershy’s greeting. The shy Pegasus smiled and every maternal instinct she had demanded that she protect that smile at all costs. 

“Now, what’s this I hear about an influx of about four hundred new citizens?” Mayor Mare asked.

“Yes, Luna has already offered us land just outside the Everfree, so you won’t need to worry about building housing, but please let me know if there’s anything else you need for our integration,” Chrysalis responded. Mayor Mare suddenly grew a surprisingly predatory grin for a largely herbivorous species.

“I’ve been after the Royal Treasury about expanding Ponyville’s infrastructure for years now. Now with a group of four hundred strong moving in along with two princesses and a queen, they can’t deny me any longer!” She started laughing to herself like the evil despot Chrysalis like to think of Celestia as and pronked out the door, happy as a clam. 

“Did I mention the crazy? Ponyville has a lot of it,” Pinkie Pie said as if she weren’t one of, if not the, queen of crazy herself. Chrysalis couldn’t help but laugh. If absolutely nothing else, things promised to never be boring in Ponyville.

“Ah, Tom, Twilight, a word, if you please,” Chrysalis pulled the two out of conversation with Rainbow, Spike, and Moon Dancer.

“What can we do you for?” Tom asked. Twilight’s illusionary body reacted immediately by trying to smack him upside the head with a wing, but as it was only an illusion, the wing passed right through. Tom smirked.

“Forgive him, he’s not usually this much of a jerk,” Twilight complained while shooting her body double a glare.

“It’s fine, Twilight. I’ve raised many children; I can deal with a little lip,” Chrysalis placated the Alicorn.

“Uh oh, I’m about to get scolded by mama bug,” Tom’s smile told her it was all in good fun.

“Anyway, I heard from Luna that you two are directly responsible for our reunion, and for that you have my deepest gratitude. Before she came to me, I had thought she had betrayed me and left me and my children to rot after Celestia sealed us away. If it weren’t for you, that notion may have poisoned me forever more. It’s not impossible to imagine it would have eventually led to my destruction,” The pair was now looking distinctly awkward. It was rather cute in Chrysalis’ opinion.

“We didn’t go looking for the truth or anything. We just wound up drinking a potion that showed us visions of the past. One of those visions just happened to be what happened to you,” Tom said with an uncomfortable shrug. It was so precious how neither of them seemed able to take honest gratitude.

“We might not have done anything at all if we didn’t guess that Luna had no idea you were still alive,” Twilight added. 

“Be that as it may, your actions still led directly to this happy day. My hive is not as strong as it once was, but it will grow with time now that we are moving to Ponyville. You both will always have the assistance of the Changelings for as long as I am Queen, which hopefully will be a very long time indeed. I believe I already know where we can start, assisting you with your quest to create a suitable housing for Tom’s Soul after the Winter Solstice,” Chrysalis stated. She smiled patiently as the two stumbled over their words before both finally took a deep breath.

“Thank you for your consideration. I’m sure your help will be very, er…helpful,” Tom finished lamely. Chrysalis chuckled.

“A Changeling Queen always repays her debts and I do believe ours is a debt I will never be able to settle. I do not think that is a bad thing at all.”
> Loyalty Steps Up
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, A Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 11: Loyalty Steps Up


It had been a little over a week since the Changelings had started to earnestly move into Ponyville. Their new Hive was well on its way to completion and honestly everyone in Ponyville was pretty happy with the situation. Everyone except Celestia, that is, who had left scorch marks along Main Street after getting into a shouting match with her younger sister. 

In the end, all it had taken was one icy glare from Twilight to send the alabaster Alicorn scampering back to Canterlot. Rainbow Dash mused on how odd it was how these things worked out. As little as two months ago, it would have been impossible to imagine Twilight even entertaining a negative thought about Celestia. Yet here they were, in a world where Daring Do was a real pony and Twilight quite possibly hated her old mentor’s guts. Celestia was so lucky none of the Canterlot nobility paid any attention to what happened down in Ponyville.

Come to think of it, maybe that was why Celestia allowed herself to get into the shouting match with Luna in the first place? A chance to let off some steam? Well, Rainbow didn’t care. She’d thrown in her lot with Twilight, Tom, and Luna and Rainbow was nothing if not Loyal to her chosen cause.

Speaking of chosen causes, one such cause is what brought her to the still in progress Changeling Hive. She had decided to whip up a team for the Equestrian Games after Mayor Mare had mentioned to her that, with the influx of Changelings, Ponyville was now eligible to send a team to compete. 

Rainbow Dash, as weather manager, had a fair idea of the abilities of all the Pegasai in Ponyville, because every one of them came together for when it was time to funnel water to Cloudsdale. The Changelings, on the other hoof, were unknowns, untapped potential. So Rainbow was there to tap that potential.

“Ah, Rainbow, what brings you on this fine day?” Chrysalis called out when Rainbow entered earshot. Rainbow touched down next to the Changeling Queen.

“Well, with all you Changelings coming to town, Ponyville can field a team for the Equestrian Games,” Rainbow explained, “I’ve come to scout for talent for the team.”

“Wouldn’t the Equestrian Games be Pony only?” Chrysalis asked.

“Nope, anyone can participate so long as they’re a citizen of Equestria and has a connection to the town they’re representing. Like me, for example, I could be on Ponyville’s team because I live here, or I could be on Cloudsdale’s team since I was born there and my folks still live there. Since Luna granted you guys full citizenship and you’re technically inside Ponyville’s limits, you all can be part of Ponyville’s team.” Rainbow said with a smile.

“I see…well I can think of a few soldiers off the top of my head that would probably enjoy the competition. However, there is one in particular I’d like you to take under your wing, if you can,” Chrysalis requested.

“Really? Who?” Rainbow asked curiously.

“His name is Pharynx. He’s not a problem child, in the traditional sense. He’s ferociously loyal to me and his hatching brother Thorax, but he’s a bit rough around the edges. If it doesn’t involve training, trying to toughen up his brother, or a direct order, he isn’t interested. Should anyone interrupt any of those three things, he gets angry and aggressive. I’m hoping giving him some harmless fun, something that has an end goal in mind, will help him start to relax a little,” Chrysalis confessed. 

Rainbow considered for a minute. Honestly this Pharynx sounded kinda like Gilda. Both had a very narrow view of what was important and got angry when that thing was interrupted. If there was one thing Rainbow considered her greatest failure, it was not chasing down the Griffon and trying to make it right with her. It was her one absolute failing as Loyalty. She had tried to justify it to herself a dozen different ways; she was still new to her Element, Gilda was being an abrasive jerk, Gilda didn’t try hard enough, so on and so forth. Each excuse had rung hollow.

Rainbow Dash might not be as book smart as Twilight or Moon Dancer or heck, even Tom, but she wasn’t dumb. She knew when she was a filly and she had gone to flight school that some of her classmates had come from abusive homes. Some days they’d be just like any other colt or filly and other days they’d be Fire and Brimstone, wanting everyone and everything around them to feel as awful as they did. 

Rainbow hadn’t come from an abusive home, far from it. Her parents spent virtually every waking moment letting her know how much they loved her. Outwardly she may claim to hate it, but in her Heart of Hearts, she was more grateful to them than words could express. They also hadn’t raised a blind filly. Rainbow had realized from a young age that if her parents loved her this much, then there must be others who didn’t get as much love.

When Rainbow had met Gilda, she knew the Griffon had been abused. Gilda had been angry, standoffish, and afraid of touch. Never mind the fact that she was a Griffon dumped in a Pegasus flight school. Rainbow foolishly thought that her friendship with Gilda had somehow healed all of the Griffon’s emotional wounds.

Then Gilda came to Ponyville on a Fire and Brimstone day seeking comfort from her best friend and Rainbow had run her out of town for it. Rainbow wanted someone to buck her in the face with a Rainboom every time she thought about it.

Pharynx had been abused too. Not by Chrysalis, Rainbow had only known the Changeling Queen for about a week, but already she knew Chrysalis’ love for her children was deep and true. No, as much as Dash hated to think it, Pharynx had been abused by Celestia. Because of Celestia he had been on the edge of starving to death. Rainbow didn’t know how close to that edge he had come, but anything other than three square meals was too close in Rainbow’s book. 

Chrysalis must have tried her best to offset the abuse with her love, and in many cases it had worked, if the happy Changelings she had seen buzzing around Ponyville recently were anything to go by. But if Rainbow were to read between the lines of what Chrysalis had told her about Pharynx, then she could guess he had passed up at least some love to give it to Thorax. He had shut himself away, hardened himself, to give his brother as much of a chance as he could in that bleak circumstance.

But that begged a question, if Chrysalis loved her children so, then why hadn’t she used that love to feed her children? Rainbow would check with Luna or Twilight later, but she had a hunch that Changelings couldn’t feed on the love of other Changelings. That somehow made the tragedy all the greater. A whole ocean’s worth of love, and Chrysalis couldn’t use it to help her children. 

Rainbow was getting off topic. Her mind snapped back to the present. She had failed Gilda. She wouldn’t fail Pharynx. It was that simple. 

“I’ll do it, I’ll take Pharynx under my wing,” Rainbow finally replied. A full smile bloomed on the face of the Changeling Queen. 

“Thank you, Rainbow Dash. This means more to me then I can express. I’ll call him now. Pharynx, come here please!” Chrysalis’ voice barely rose at all, but a Changeling on the other side of the Hive came buzzing towards them. Rainbow took stock of him as he approached. He was shorter than most other Changelings, if Rainbow was any judge, and he looked a little thinner. He wasn’t quite runty looking, but it was a close thing. What really got Rainbow’s attention were the holes on his carapace. They weren’t quite as bad as Chrysalis’ currently were, but he took a solid second place. Even after a week in Ponyville, there was still a lot of work to be done reversing the years of malnutrition. Pharynx landed in front of them and bowed deeply with his eyes closed.

“You summoned me, Mother?” He asked in a raspy, throaty voice. Chrysalis let out a small sigh.

“Really, Pharynx, you don’t have to greet me like that. You are not one of my personal guard and we’re in private besides,” Chrysalis admonished. Pharynx’s purple eyes snapped open, glaring at Rainbow, “Rainbow Dash is a friend. More to the point, until the end of the Equestrian Games, I am appointing her as your superior officer.”

“WHAT?! But-” Pharynx forcibly silenced himself before speaking again, “As you command, Mother.”

“Pharynx, please, I just want you to have a little fun. Who knows, you might enjoy it or even learn something,” Chrysalis said pleadingly.

“Permission to speak freely?” Chrysalis looked pained.

“All my children may always speak their mind to me,” She answered.

“I will not enjoy this exercise in pointlessness and I will not learn anything from this soft pony,” Pharynx spat the last word like a curse. Rainbow took a breath to even out her temper.

“Hey, Chrysalis-”

“That’s QUEEN Chrysalis to you,” Pharynx snarled. Rainbow ignored his outburst.

“What do you say to me making a wager with Pharynx here?”

“Go on,” Chrysalis requested.

“How about me and Pharynx have a race? We’ll fly from Town Hall and back. If I win, Pharynx will listen to me as his commanding officer. If I lose, then Pharynx is free to do whatever he pleases,” Rainbow laid out her plan.

“That sounds acceptable to me. What say you, Pharynx?” Chrysalis asked.

“I won’t lose to some pathetic pony. You’ve already wasted my time; why not waste a little more to prove Changeling superiority?” Pharynx sneered. Rainbow had to resist the urge to smile patronizingly at the arrogant Changeling. 

“Very well, the terms are agreed upon. Please line yourselves up to the edge of this platform. On my mark. Three. Two. One. Go!” Chrysalis started the race and Rainbow was off like a shot. Even if she was sure she would win, she wouldn’t take it easy on the Changeling. She needed to make a point. So she barreled through the air at just sub-Rainboom speeds. She had learned not to Rainboom too close to town a long time ago. 

Rainbow reached Town Hall and made as sharp a turn as wind resistance would allow and zoomed back the way she came. She even briefly saw the shocked face of Pharynx on her return trip. 

A couple of minutes after Rainbow had landed back on the platform, Pharynx completed his lap. As much as Rainbow wanted to gloat, she would control herself. 

“You cheated!” Pharynx sounded for the entire world like a petulant child.

“No, I didn’t. Hi, I’m Rainbow Dash, fastest pony alive. The only pony to pull off the Sonic Rainboom in hundreds of years. Also, I’m now your commanding officer. If you don’t like it, then you shouldn’t have agreed to the race,” Rainbow said simply.

“You- I- Mother!” 

“I watched the whole race. Rainbow succeeded on her own talents. If Rainbow were truly going all out, you would have lost even harder. You made your bed, Pharynx, now you must lie in it,” Sometimes showing love meant showing tough love. Pharynx fell like a house of cards.

“I understand,” Pharynx murmured. 

“Good. Your training starts tomorrow at 8 am. Get a good night’s sleep and as much love as you need, because you’re going to need it. In three day’s time, I will be vetting candidates for the Ponyville team going to the Equestrian Games. You will be among those candidates and you will pass or I’m gonna train you so hard your wings fall off. Am I understood?” Rainbow barked.

“Yes ma’am,” Pharynx responded.

“Good. Dismissed!” Pharynx buzzed away as fast as his wings would carry him. 

“I hope we are doing the right thing,” Chrysalis muttered.

“Don’t worry about it. First Pharynx needs to see there’s more than one kind of big fish in the pond. Then we’ll get him to actually respect me. After that, then comes the friend making. It’s foolproof!” Rainbow exclaimed.

“I wish I had your confidence,” Chrysalis said wistfully. 

“Not everyone can be Rainbow Dash,” Dash teased playfully. Chrysalis shape shifted into a copy of the chromatic mare.

“I beg to differ,” Chrysalis said with a smirk that looked right at home on Rainbow’s muzzle.

“Oh yeah? I’d like to see you try and Sonic Rainboom, even with my wings,” Rainbow challenged. Chrysalis returned to her natural form.

“I yield. I don’t have your years of experience or training,” Chrysalis gave up.

“At least you know when you’re licked. Anyway, I need to get home. I have to dig out some old manuals for Pharynx’s training tomorrow. See you later, Chrysalis!” Rainbow said as she prepared to take off.

“I will see you later as well,” Chrysalis agreed and Rainbow flew off to her home. The future was still uncertain, but it would be better than the past.
> A Kindness for a Kindness
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 12: A Kindness for a Kindness


Fluttershy looked up at the sky from her spot by the lake. It had been a few days since Rainbow had taken Pharynx and Dashie was in the middle of vetting Pegasai and Changelings for the upcoming Equestrian Games. Somehow her friend had convinced Fluttershy that she was worthy to be on the team, citing her flying performance back when Discord had originally broken free of his petrification and again when she had helped harvest rainwater from the very lake she was sitting at. 

Fluttershy knew Rainbow meant well and she certainly wasn’t as afraid of public events as she had once been, but Fluttershy was almost certain that someone else would be a better candidate. 

Normally Fluttershy would’ve talked something like this over with Rarity, but the ivory Unicorn was extremely busy preparing for Fashion Week in Manehatten. Fluttershy had offered to help, of course, but Rarity had insisted that she would not burden her friends overmuch except in emergency. Even if Fluttershy didn’t think doing something as small as making sure all the stitching was done correctly was a burden…

Actually, come to think of it, Fluttershy hadn’t really seen any of the Elements sans Rainbow for nearly a week. Rarity had locked herself in her boutique, Twilight was with Tom shut away in her library, Pinkie had said something about going home to visit family, and Applejack was finishing the seasonal harvest in preparation of going to Manehatten with Rarity next week.

All in all, it left Fluttershy feeling slightly lonely. She knew she shouldn’t feel that way with all her animal friends around, but sometimes even an introvert longed for the companionship of her peers. 

“Hello, do you mind if I sit here?” Fluttershy turned to see a Changeling. She hadn’t learned to recognize them by sight or sound yet, except Chrysalis. Honestly she felt a little bit bad about that. 

“Of course not, feel free to sit wherever you like,” Fluttershy said gently.

“Thank you. I’m Thorax,” The Changeling introduced himself.

“Oh, Pharynx’s brother!” Fluttershy exclaimed in recognition. 

“I’m flattered that the Element of Kindness knows of me,” Thorax said humbly, “I’m here to watch my brother.”

“Pharynx has been doing well. I think he really wants to impress Rainbow,” Fluttershy reported. Thorax let out a thoughtful ‘hmm’. 

“I don’t know if he wants to necessarily impress Loyalty,” Thorax didn’t elaborate more than that and Fluttershy didn’t push him for answers, “So, what brings you here, Fluttershy?”

“Rainbow wants me on the team. I just don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Fluttershy confided. For some reason, she found Thorax easy to talk to. 

“I’m sure she just wants what’s best for you. My brother is much the same with me, even if he hasn’t yet realized I’m not a grub anymore and we’re no longer alone in the world,” If Thorax was at all bitter about it, he hid it well.

“Even if it is what’s best for me, I don’t want to be a detriment to the team. I’m sure Ponyville as a whole is looking forward to having their very own team in the Games. I just know I’ll hold them back,” Fluttershy worried. 

“This might be presumptuous of me to say, but I don’t think Rainbow Dash would try and get you involved in this if she didn’t think you were the best one for the job. She probably knows how you feel, after all. Even if she doesn’t know, then you should talk to her about it. Worrying about it on the sidelines until it all explodes in your faces won’t do any good,” Thorax said in a subdued voice.

Fluttershy was suddenly reminded of the time she had agreed to be a model. She and Rarity hadn’t talked it out until it had almost ruined their friendship. Fluttershy didn’t want that to happen again.

“I think you’re right, Thorax. I have to talk to Rainbow. Thank you,” Fluttershy thanked the Changeling before flying up to Rainbow, “Rainbow, can I have a moment, please?”

“Sure thing, Flutters, just a sec,” Rainbow turned to her recruits, “Two laps around the lake to cool off. I think I have what I need, so I’ll tell you if you made the cut tomorrow.”

The gathered Pegasai seemed exhausted, but grateful to be free as they slowly made their way around the lake. Fluttershy and Rainbow moved to a shady tree to talk in private.

“So, what’s up Fluttershy?” Rainbow asked. Fluttershy took a moment to gather her thoughts before speaking.

“I’m afraid you’re just putting me on the team because we’re friends and I don’t want that, because I know I’m not as good as Cloud Kicker, or Blossomforth, or Thunderlane, or even Derpy. I’d just bring the team down,” Fluttershy confessed.

“Well, yeah, you being my friend is part of the reason I picked you,” Rainbow said honestly and Fluttershy’s heart dropped, “But, it’s because I’m your friend that I know just how much potential you have. You may not be as fast as me, face it, who is? But so what? You proved to be one of the most steady fliers I know when you put your mind to it. That can’t be underestimated when some of the events include long distance flying and endurance. Am I hoping it’ll give you a confidence boost? Yes. Am I doing it at the detriment of the team? Absolutely not. I have faith in you Flutters. I’m sure I could think of some other way to help your confidence if I really wanted to. The fact that you’re one of the best I can think of for the team is why you’re on it, not some plot to raise your self-esteem, even if it is a nice side effect.”

“Oh, Dashie!” Fluttershy was overcome with emotion, so she did the only thing she could think of, wrapping her oldest friend in a hug.

“I didn’t realize it was eating at you so much, sorry about that,” Rainbow apologized. 

“I’m just glad we were able to talk about it before something silly happened,” Fluttershy felt as if a massive weight had been taken from her shoulders. 

“Knowing our luck, it would have been something wildly out of proportion and we’d try to fix it without the other knowing and only making it worse,” Rainbow joked.

“Ending with the team being disqualified or something,” Fluttershy agreed, “So, who is going to be on the team besides me?”

“I’m gonna sleep on it, but I’m pretty sure I’m gonna stick with Cloud Kicker, Pharynx, Derpy, me, you, and Pincer,” Rainbow answered.

“Pincer?” Fluttershy was unfamiliar with that name.

“I don’t think that’s his real name and he’s a Changeling. It’s just every Changeling I’ve heard talking to him calls him Pincer. Might have to ask Chrysalis, the team registration requires full, real names.”

“I wouldn’t think you’d let Derpy on the team,” Fluttershy noted.

“She may be a one pony disaster area, but damn if she can’t turn on a dime. She’ll be perfect for the acrobatic events,” Rainbow answered confidently.

“Well, I look forward to working with all of you,” And to her own surprise, Fluttershy meant it.
> Repenting
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 13: Repenting


The day was coming to a close. Day Court was finished. Celestia was looking at pictures of Twilight Sparkle as a foal like a mother with a bad case of empty nest syndrome. 

“Raven, where did I go wrong? She left me. Just like Sunset left me. Everyone leaves me,” Celestia moaned piteously.

If most could hear their immortal goddess-princess throwing such a pity party, they’d be shocked and appalled. Raven and her ancestors had literally written books for their decedents on the Sun Princess’ many moods and how to deal with them. 

“Princess, Twilight hasn’t left you-”

“She has! She ran off to Ponyville with Luna and now she hates me!” Celestia cried.

“Princess, she doesn’t hate you. You raised her as surely as her own mother. Tell me, if one of your little ponies had been behaving how you’ve been behaving these past few weeks, what would you tell them?” Raven asked. Celestia’s ears pinned against her skull.

“Have I really been that awful?”

“You tell me, you’re the one who’s been acting like Twilight ran off with a bad colt you don’t approve of. Neither Twilight nor Tom deserve that,” Raven stated plainly.

“I never told you about Tom,” Celestia was confused.

“Who is the de facto head of S.M.I.L.E?” Raven questioned with a raised eyebrow. Raven had taken on that role since the previous head stepped down five years ago.

“I need to take a census of who is in charge of what organization,” Celestia said tiredly.

“You’re getting off topic, Princess. I’m fairly certain Tom and Twilight have no romantic intentions for each other. Stop treating him like he’s taking your baby girl,” Raven said firmly. 

“I’ve been ruling alone too long. I seem to have forgotten that I can be wrong,” Celestia sighed, “I thought things could go back to the way they were before Luna’s banishment. I willfully ignored that the way things were before was what drove Luna to the Nightmare in the first place. Now I’m repeating the same mistakes with Twilight. I’m ignoring her while telling her I know what’s best for her. Did you know I didn’t even ask if she wanted to be a princess?"

“Princess?” Raven prompted. That was a little surprising to hear.

“Yes, I just assumed she’d be happy to do it for me. I wonder if I wasn’t just selfishly trying to keep her near me, needing me while I taught her statecraft. Oh, she would’ve become an Alicorn regardless; she earned that of her own merits. I was the one who forced her into princesshood. Does Twilight even want to be a princess or is she merely doing it because I expect it of her?"

“Princess, I think you should apologize. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Actually, it’s probably better if it isn’t fancy. Twilight will forgive you certainly. She has grown into a bright, kind young mare and she loves you. Luna will forgive you as well, in time. You are family, after all. Chrysalis will take a lot of work; you have done a great wrong to her. However, from what reports I’ve received from Agent Sweetie Drops, her love for her children is what drives her above all else. Chrysalis will not hold a grudge if it means hurting her children. That just leaves Tom and Sunset, really. I do not know enough about Tom to make a claim either way, but I did know Sunset and I have heard of her attempts to change. If you want my advice, Princess, seek forgiveness from Sunset first. It is something you both need,” Raven stated.

“As always, your counsel is wise, Raven Inkwell. Please, cancel my appointments for the next several days. I have many apologies to make,” Celestia decided.

“As you wish, Princess. Would you like me to accompany you?” Raven asked.

“Hmm, yes, I believe you should. If my recent track record is any indication, I may need someone there to keep me from putting my hoof in my mouth,” Celestia stood up, already planning what needed to be done for her trip.





“This is quite odd, Princess,” Raven observed as she looked at her new hands, “I thought this mirror was only active once every few years?”

“Starswirl was a paranoid old coot. He built backdoors into many of his creations. I will say it is not strictly wise to use this particular backdoor. The reason the mirror only opens naturally when it does is to minimize bleeding between our two worlds. Forcing it open could cause more of a rift then can be easily, naturally repaired. However, for Sunset, it is worth the risk,” Celestia explained, “I imagine Luna or Twilight could think up a way to improve the mirror and let it be active always, but such things have never been my specialty.”

“You’re also not currently on speaking terms with either of them,” Raven pointed out.

“Something I hope to rectify quickly,” Celestia said sadly.

“Not too quickly. These things take their own time,” Raven reminded. 

“You are right. Now, if Tom and Twilight’s recounting of this school is correct, their school day should be just about finished,” Sure enough, the school bell rang a moment later, freeing a teenaged mass of humanity from the shackles of the learning institution. 

Celestia scanned the crowd, soon spotting shock of red and yellow hair. Unable to control herself, Celestia cut through the crowd. They parted like dirt before the plow. There was Sunset, surrounded by this world’s versions of the Elements sans Twilight. 

“Principal Celestia?” Sunset asked, not sure why her principal was looking at her like she hadn’t seen her before. Celestia moved forward and wrapped Sunset in a hug.

“Oh, Sunset Shimmer,” Celestia murmured to a very confused former Unicorn. Raven decided to take pity on the girl.

“Greetings, Sunset, it has been awhile,” Raven greeted.

“Raven Inkwell?” Sunset’s confusion persisted for a moment more before her eyes bugged out, “Princess?! How?! But the mirror!”

“Perhaps we should move this to a more private venue?” Raven suggested.

“You can use my place!” Rarity offered without missing a beat. Celestia reluctantly pulled away from her former student.

“Thank you for your generous offer, I accept.”

“Think nothing of it, er, Princess,” Rarity giggled nervously.

So it was that Rarity led everyone to her boutique and corralled the rest of her friends away to give Sunset, Raven, and Celestia some privacy.

“Well, I, uh, I can safely say I was not expecting to see you when I woke up this morning!” Sunset offered a winning smile to try and offset the fact that her heart was beating at 100 miles a minute. Celestia took a moment to think of what she wanted to say.

“I have recently been made aware of my own failings very acutely. In an attempt to hold on to those closest to me, I have driven them away. It took an outside perspective to help me see that my actions were not befitting the Pony I wish to be,” Celestia finally said.

“Princess…” Sunset wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

“I find it needful to make amends to those I have wronged and I fear I have wronged you more seriously than most, Sunset,” Celestia admitted, “I had to offer you an apology face to face.”

“No! I’m the one who should be apologizing! I was rude, cruel, basically an unholy terror in every way imaginable!” Sunset protested.

“No, you were a product of the lackluster upbringing I gave you. That you have learned to overcome it speaks more highly of you than you seem to believe. When I adopted you all those years ago, I agreed to be your teacher and maternal figure. I was only an acceptable teacher to you and an utter failure as a mother. Instead of giving you the time you deserved, I was always too busy with some duty or another.” Celestia sounded disgusted with herself. 

“Our only interactions were as teacher and student and even then, instead of nurturing your natural curiosity, explaining to you the reasons why certain things were restricted or banned, I simply said ‘because I said so’ or lied to your face. Is it any wonder why you became secretive, angry, distrustful, and the rest? Even when you were a filly, you gave your trust so rarely. You gave it to me and I abused it so thoroughly that I wouldn’t have been surprised if you never trusted again as long as you lived,” Tears were starting to roll down both Celestia’s and Sunset’s faces, “Do you remember the only time you called me ‘mom’?”

“Of course I remember. You were dealing with some nobles and I came into the room and asked you if you’d play with me. Your look of embarrassment said it all,” Sunset answered.

“Oh Stars, did you think I was embarrassed of you? No, I was embarrassed because I had been talking with foreign dignitaries about sensitive subjects. I was afraid you had overheard us and they would rake me over the coals for my lack of security. I could never be embarrassed of you, Sunset, even when you were at your worst,” Celestia let out a weak laugh, “This only proves my point. What kind of mother would I have to be for my daughter to think I was embarrassed of her? I failed you, Sunset, as a teacher, as a princess, as a friend, and as a mother.”

Sunset tried to tame her emotions, but it was a losing battle. Soon, she was crying in earnest and jumped at Celestia to hug her.

“I’ll only forgive you if you forgive me for being such a brat and running away,” Sunset whispered.

“There is nothing to forgive.” And both broke down completely. Neither noticed Raven slip from the room.





“Are you sure you won’t come back to Equestria with us, Sunset?” Celestia asked.

“Yeah, I’ve kinda started building a life here and I want to see it through,” It was later that evening. After the two mares had cried out, they had just spent some time catching up and talking about recent events in both their lives, “Besides, I still have that book you gave me so we can keep in touch.”

“You still have that old thing?” Celestia was surprised. She had been sure Sunset had disposed of it after not answering her messages.

“Yeah…I, uh, read everything you wrote. I was just too stubborn to reply. Sorry about that,” Sunset apologized. 

“It’s fine, Sunset. I’m just glad I will have a way to contact you until I can convince Twilight or Luna to make the portal permanent,” Celestia had absolute confidence in her sister’s and former student’s abilities. 

“Well, don’t let me keep you. You have others you need to apologize to, ones that actually deserve it,” Sunset remarked.

“Don’t say that, Sunset,” Celestia pleaded, “You very richly deserve my apologies.”

“Let’s just agree we both had our heads up our plots, OK?” Sunset asked.

“That still sounds like you are being overly generous to myself, but I will agree nonetheless,” Sunset just rolled her eyes. 

“Just do it before you develop a martyr complex,” She snarked.

“I will do my best to keep that from happening,” Raven assured Sunset.

“Oh, yeah, before you leave…sorry you had to deal with me being a brat so much, Raven,” Sunset said remorsefully.

“It is already forgotten,” Raven said simply, “I believe that concludes our immediate business. Shall we be going, Princess?”

Celestia snapped up Sunset in one last quick hug.

“Now we can go,” Celestia turned towards the portal.

“Bye Raven, bye…Mom…” Celestia would cherish that moment for the rest of her life.





Celestia knocked on the door of Golden Oaks Library with Raven behind her. The door opened promptly, reveling Tom and Twilight. Tom let out a put upon sigh.

“Come in,” He ordered. Once both mares were inside, he conjured up the body double for Twilight, “So, what do you want?” Celestia hated the impassive look she was getting from Twilight.

“I came to apologize, to both of you. I-”

“You’re forgiven,” Celestia was completely wrong footed.

“I- but- what?” She hadn’t expected that.

“I was only upset for a day or two after we left Canterlot. I do want to know why you were so appallingly rude, but I suspect you were going to explain yourself anyway. Now I’m only put out with you on Luna’s and Chrysalis’ behalf,” Tom explained, “Also my granddad taught me to never hold a grudge, so I don’t.”

“I…Twilight?” Celestia was almost afraid of what she would say. Twilight’s expression melted into a melancholy look.

“Celestia, I was never mad at you about the Changelings. Immensely disappointed, yes, but not mad. I will admit that whole circus you put on while we were staying with my parents did make me angry. I forgive you too, but I still want to know your motivations,” Twilight said softly. It was at the same time better than Celestia had feared and worse than she could have imagined. Hearing Twilight say she was disappointed in her was fantastically painful.

“I was afraid Tom was taking you away from me, Twilight,” Celestia decided brutal honesty was called for. Twilight was confused.

“Taking me away? Taking me where? I’m still right here!” Twilight was frustrated, but Tom understood. His eyes shot skyward as if asking for strength.

“What on earth gave you that impression? If, and this is a very big if, I were to go after any of the Elements, it’d be Fluttershy. Beyond that it’d probably be Sunset if I absolutely had to pick.

“Fluttershy and Sunset?” Celestia couldn’t think of two more opposed personalities.

“I am a man of conflicting taste,” Tom readily admitted. Twilight was slowly catching on. 

“Wait, are you saying you thought Tom and I were in a relationship? Celestia, I’m asexual and not interested in romance besides!” Twilight protested.

“No you’re not,” Tom disagreed.

“Yes I am, I think I know me better than you do,” Twilight deadpanned.

“You talk in your sleep,” Twilight’s illusory jaw snapped shut with an audible click, “I don’t know how that works when we’re sharing the same brain, but it does.”

“You say nothing,” Twilight growled in her most threatening the voice. The result was actually quite adorable.

“My lips are sealed. I will never divulge what you want to do to-” Twilight drowned him out with a yell.

“As fascinating as this is, I do believe you are all getting off topic,” Raven interrupted.

“You’re absolutely right. Celestia, you don’t have to worry about losing Twilight unless you literally start burning libraries,” Tom stated.

“Hey!” Twilight protested the jab.

“As you can see, she’s in compete denial about anything romantic and I don’t suspect that’ll change any time soon,” He continued as if Twilight hadn’t spoken.

“Romance is nothing but trouble,” Twilight said sourly. 

“Whatever you say, Sparkle,” Tom said airily, “Celestia, next time you wanna pull out a shotgun, check to make sure your kid is actually dating first. It’ll save on bullets and heartache.”

“You are right. I acted on a foolish notion based on paranoia,” Celestia accepted the chastisement, “I was so afraid of losing someone close to me I wound up pushing them away myself.”

“As long as you understand, I’ve already accepted your apology. Now, I do believe Luna and Chrysalis should be at Luna’s new place at this hour. I have no idea how receptive they’ll be to an apology, but you should try.” Tom said.

“I had already intended to do so. If you would lead the way?” Celestia requested. 

“So what was that shouting match in town about? You two were speaking some language I didn’t recognize,” Twilight asked.

“It was a dead language from before Discord’s reign. We often use it when discussing matters we want to be sure absolutely no one can overhear. I…I basically ordered her to come home with me. It devolved from there,” Tom, Twilight, and even Raven were giving her unimpressed looks. 

“Wasn’t it treating her like a lesser princess that played a big part in the Nightmare? I’m surprised Luna left it at shouting. She would’ve been completely justified in bucking you to the sun,” Tom remarked.

“I know. I thought I could play the responsible older sister card,” Celestia sighed, “In all my years, that has worked only three times. Yet I keep playing it like a fool.”

“One of the definitions of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results,” Twilight said mildly, but Celestia cringed as though she had screamed. Mercifully, they arrived at Luna’s new house. Celestia knocked on the door and Chrysalis answered.

“If you’re here to tell Luna to go back to Canterlot, you can turn right back around,” Chrysalis ordered.

“I’m not. I’m here to apologize to both of you,” Celestia answered.

“Lulu, your sister has finally flipped her lid! She’s saying she’s sorry!” Chrysalis called into the house. Luna appeared at the door shortly after.

“Sister, if this is some kind of trick…” Luna trailed off menacingly. 

“No trick. Raven helped point out I was being a terrible Pony, so I’m sorry,” Celestia said simply. Chrysalis and Luna shared a look, communicating silently.

“I am tempted to ask for twelve labors to prove your penance, but I shall forego that. I will not lie to you and say we forgive you this day. We shall forgive you, in time. For now, the pain is still too fresh,” Luna finally said.

“I understand and that is enough,” Celestia was sad, but unsurprised. She had known getting Luna and Chrysalis to forgive her in the immediate future was a long shot. 

“If that is all, Sister?” Luna asked. 

“Yes, that is all,” And Luna closed the door.





It was late in the night and Luna’s moon was high in the sky. Celestia was catching up on the notices she had missed over the last couple days.

“Your tea, Princess,” Raven placed a cup of chamomile tea on Celestia’s table. Celestia’s gazed flicked to it.

“I was feeling something more akin to deerjeeling tea,” Celestia confessed.

“No black teas before bed. You know how you are. And you will be going to bed shortly. We arrived back a day sooner than expected. There will be time in the morning to play catch up,” Raven instructed, already plucking scattered papers with her magic and straightening them out. 

“I suppose you are right. Raven, what would I ever do without you?” Celestia wondered.

“The thought is so horrifying that it bears not thinking about,” Raven replied in a perfectly serious voice. Celestia chuckled.

“That is true enough. Without you, I wouldn’t have been able to repair the bridges I have and both my sister and Chrysalis would probably not even consider forgiving me for decades, if not centuries!” Celestia moved herself onto her bed, “Thank you, Raven.”

“I only live to serve,” Raven Inkwell said, then turned out the lights.
> Generosity's Gift
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 14: Generosity's Gift


Manehatten, the sights, the sounds, the people, the promise of an award winning musical…Rarity had done her level best to make sure their stay was perfect.

Rarity had found it no surprise that Tom and Fluttershy were chomping at the bit to see Hinny of the Hills, but that even Rainbow Dash was excited brought a thrill to her heart. Of course, Hinny of the Hills was being touted as the best Bridleway Play of the last decade. 

“So, RD, what’s got you so wound up about this musical?” Applejack asked on the way to their hotel.

“I’m allowed to like more than just flying,” Rainbow sulked, “But you are kinda right. I’d normally never go for a musical. Ponies just bursting into song at the drop of a hat, who does that?”

Rarity didn’t miss Tom whipping his head around to stare at Rainbow in incredulity just as Rarity herself felt a Heartsong coming on. It took them all around Manehatten, from Times Square to the Statue of Harmony. All the while Rarity sang about the splendors of Manehatten and the chance to do generous works for all the ponies within while spreading some generosity of her own.

When the Heartsong concluded, they had somehow wound up on the opposite side of town with only ten minutes before entries for Fashion Week closed. Rarity almost panicked, but Tom plucked her up with his magic before she could run off.

“Teleporting will be faster than trying to hail a cab. We can pop back to the hotel to grab your dresses. Do you know where the registration is?” Tom asked.

“Yes, I memorized it so I didn’t get lost,” Rarity replied.

“Then after we get the dresses, I’ll feed you the spellform and power so we can use your knowledge of the location to arrive,” Tom instructed. 

“Are you sure you can-?” But Tom had already popped them away, back to the hotel. Rarity dashed inside. To her surprise, the bellhop she had tipped earlier was already waiting with her dresses.

“What? How?” Rarity spluttered.

“It’s our job to know our guest’s needs before they do,” The bellhop said with a smile.

“Oh, bless your heart!” Rarity exclaimed before taking her dresses and giving the dear stallion a very large tip. She then dashed outside and met back up with her friends. Tom wasted no time in igniting his horn and bringing the tip to Rarity’s.

“Focus on our destination and your desire to be there,” Tom guided gently. Rarity did so and was soon rewarded with a satisfying ‘pop’ sound as they arrived at their destination. Tom leaned up against a nearby wall, seeming slightly out of breath.

“Oh Tom, you were magnificent, thank you-”

“Register now, compliment me later,” Tom ordered. Rarity nodded and rushed into the building. She managed to register and get on stage with two minutes to spare. Really, she’d have to do something extra nice for Tom for his efforts. It could have been a nightmare without his help.

Rarity greeted her competitors and in short order, Prim Hemline, the organizer of that year’s Fashion Week, came on stage. Hemline shot an unimpressed glare at Rarity, for which she could only assume was because of her near tardiness. Thankfully, Hemline said nothing. 

“Once we are finished here, you are to set up backstage in order to prepare for your run through appointment,” Hemline stalked up to Rarity, “You will be going last. We keep a tight schedule here, so try to be on time by more than the skin of your teeth. Tomorrow is the contest to see which one of you gets to stay to meet top designers all across the city. The rest of you will go home early, isn’t that a shame? Dismissed.”

Hemline left and the other competitors calmly filtered backstage to take care of their own designs, all except one. 

“I’m so glad you made it, Rarity!” A pale pink Earth Pony mare called out.

“Me too, if it weren’t for my friends, why, it doesn’t bear thinking about!” Rarity shuttered dramatically. 

“Don’t you remember me? Suri Polomare from the Ponyville knitting league?” Recognition sparked in Rarity’s brain.

“Oh, darling, it’s been years since I last saw you! One day you just up and left Ponyville! How are you?” Rarity asked.

“I’m doing well. I move here to Manehatten to try my luck in the big leagues. I’ve yet to make that big break, but I’m hoping this year’s Fashion Week will be just the thing I need!” Suri exclaimed. She then rushed up to hug Rarity, “It’s so good to see you! And now here we are, competing, it’s like it was meant to be, right?”

“It does have a certain dramatic ring to it,” Rarity admitted, “Well, good luck, Suri.”

“Oh, I don’t need luck,” Suri waved her off, “Would you like some help with your things?”

“Oh, that would be wonderful, but you needn’t put yourself out on my account,” Rarity demurred.

“No trouble at all,” Suri returned and it was settled. They moved Rarity’s designs backstage to her private room. 

“My, your collection is gorgeous!” Suri gushed when Rarity unveiled her dresses. Rarity blushed with the praise.

“Oh, I’m sure your collection is equally lovely, if not even more,” Rarity said bashfully. 

“It’s alright, but nothing like this! Take my culottes, they are just dying for the right accent, but for the life of me I just can’t think of anything,” Suri bemoaned, “But actually…this fabric, just a touch for an accent…would you mind if I borrowed a swatch?”

“Not at all, I brought plenty extra in case one of the judges wanted a more up close look at the fabric. I can certainly spare some for an old friend,” Rarity levitated some of her fabric to Suri, “Now, not to be rude, but I still have so much work to do, so if-”

Rarity looked around the room, but Suri had vanished without a trace. Rarity just shrugged it off. Suri was sure to be busy with her own ensemble, after all. 

The next day Rarity immensely regretted her act of generosity. She had arrived early, only to find Suri had plagiarized her designs wholesale with the fabric Rarity had given yesterday. The worst part was Rarity knew she didn’t have proof to show the designs and fabrics were hers in the first place. That didn’t mean she was going to take it lying down.

“You stole my fabrics and designs!” Rarity snarled at the conniving mare. 

“I didn’t steal you fabrics, you gave it to me yesterday, remember?” Suri said with a taunting grin.

“I gave it to you for accents! Not your whole collection! And the designs you stole?” Rarity tried to keep her temper under control.

“It’s not stealing, it’s ‘inspiration’,” Suri sneered.

“How did you sew up an entire wardrobe in one night with my fabric anyway?! How could you possibly be so fast?!” Rarity did not scream, but it was a near thing.

“Fast? Ha! Coco Pommel here took practically forever. She was so slow I was nearly disqualified,” Suri waved a hoof at her crème colored assistant.

“Well, I wanted to make sure you’d win, so I took a little extra time to-”

“Quiet!” Suri cut off Coco, “I pay an assistant to sew and get coffee, not talk.”

“So not only are you a thief, but you abuse your assistants as well? Truly, you disgust me,” Rarity growled.

“I’m, uh, I’m not abused, re-”

“I said quiet!” Suri barked again and Coco cringed in fear. Rarity knew she wouldn’t win this battle, so she left to get reinforcements. By the time she returned to the hotel room they were all sharing, Rarity was trembling and crying with rage. 

“Rarity, what’s wrong?” Rainbow Dash, first to notice her come in, asked. All other heads turned to her.

“I met Suri Polomare, that’s what’s wrong! I gave her some of my fabric that I made and she turned around and used it to copy my whole ensemble! She went first so now it looks like I’m copying her! As if that wasn’t bad enough, she treats her assistant, who I am sure worked all through the night with no sleep, like dirt! My generosity has ruined me and brought misfortune on a poor, innocent mare!” Rarity cried out. That was all she could take. She started weeping in earnest. 

She was so distraught she didn’t noticed Moon Dancer, Tom, and Twilight talking back and forth between themselves.

“Rarity, what you brought to Fashion Week can’t be all of your designs, right?” Twilight asked. Rarity sniffled a little.

“I suppose I have a few prototypes I could push forward for this emergency,” Rarity admitted.

“Then you aren’t sunk yet,” Tom said with certainty.

“But how am I supposed to create them all by the deadline?!” Rarity shouted.

“None of us are seamstresses, but fortunately, Moon Dancer, Tom, and I have found a few sympathetic mind spells in the course of our studies. With Tom and Moon Dancer using those spells, you’ll have three times the ability to multitask and enough mana to do it all!” Twilight was pretty pleased with herself.

“You all can go on ahead, enjoy Manehatten,” Tom waved the other Elements and Spike. 

“Yeah, no. I wouldn’t be a very good friend if I didn’t at least offer to help when Rarity’s in trouble,” Rainbow said firmly and the rest agreed.

“Your offer is appreciated, but as Twilight pointed out, none of you are seamstresses. You’d likely only slow me down,” Rarity said apologetically. 

“However,” Tom interrupted, “If you want to help no matter what, then maybe you could look over Suri for any slipups or see if that assistant Rarity mentioned needs help.”

“Coco Pommel,” Rarity supplied, “Suri treated her like filth to be wiped off her horseshoe. She said she wasn’t being abused, but anyone with eyes could see she was terrified of Suri and dangerously thin besides.”

“Right, sounds like everyone has their marching orders, let’s get down to business,” Moon Dancer said and everyone started on their assigned tasks.

The next day, the new dresses were finished and the others had returned with their report.

“That Suri is slipperier than a snake with suntan lotion,” Applejack said with a sour look on her face.

“We wouldn’t have been able to find anything if it weren’t for Spike,” Fluttershy added. Normally the praise would have gotten Spike to puff out his chest, but what he had seen was still weighing on his mind.

“I was looking around Suri’s studio when I found Coco about to eat dinner. It was just a hayburger, some fries, and a salad. Then Suri came storming in, saw Coco with the hayburger in hoof, and knocked it away from her. She kept telling Coco she was fat and useless and ugly. Suri told Coco that she was lucky to be working for her and how Coco would be nothing without her. It was awful…” Spike balled his hands into tight fists.

“Oh, I’m sorry you had to see that, Spikey-wikey,” Rarity cooed and snuggled the young dragon. 

“Well, we definitely have to get Coco away from Suri, if absolutely nothing else,” Twilight said, her calm tone belying how much she would love to have Suri arrested on the spot. 

“We have time to deal with that, as cold as that sounds. Right now, Rarity has a competition to win,” Tom stated.

“But what if I do win? What would Suri do to poor Coco if she lost? I can’t stomach the thought,” Rarity worried.

“If you do win, we keep a camera on Suri. That should get us proof of abuse and land her in jail for a long time to come,” Tom didn’t like it, but he was choosing to be stone cold practical, “Hopefully it doesn’t come to that and we can convince Coco that she is being abused and she deserves better treatment and to be rid of Suri.”

“Actually, I have an idea for that…” Twilight began.





The fashion show was underway and Coco was backstage in the waiting room reserved for Suri. She could barely stand upright, but she pushed past it and the way darkness was playing at the edges of her vision. She had to at least try and be thin and beautiful, even if it was impossible for a fat, ugly mare like her. If that meant skipping a few meals, then so be it. 

There was a knock on the door and Coco’s heart skipped a beat. Had she lost track of time? Was the show over? Had Suri lost?! Coco’s trembling now had nothing to do with her empty stomach. The door opened and Coco was sure she had to be hallucinating. Not one, not two, but three princesses walked in the room. Rarity came in too, but Coco didn’t notice that. Hallucination or not, Coco threw herself to the floor.

“Rise, my little pony. Please, it is just about lunch time, why don’t you join us?” Princess Celestia levitated a basket into the room. The basket opened and a heavenly smell rose from within. Coco had to keep from drooling. She dry swallowed.

“I…I can’t!” Coco shut her eyes, sure she was about to be smote. 

“Why ever not?” If Coco had to guess, it was Princess Luna who asked. 

“Suri said I wasn’t allowed to eat until after the show and I don’t want to get fatter than I already am,” Coco answered sadly.

“Sister, mayhap standards have changed since my banishment, but Miss Pommel here seems quite thin,” Princess Luna commented.

“Average healthy weight for an Earth Pony Mare is 95 kilograms,” Princess Twilight reported, “Do you know your weight, Coco?”

“85 kilograms,” Coco whispered.

“Then why do you believe you’re fat? Coco, 10 kilograms underweight is dangerous!” That was Rarity in a pleading voice. Coco opened her eyes. 

“I’m fat and ugly and I can’t do anything right!” Coco screamed, “I have to listen to Suri because she’s the only one who will take me!”

“No one said anything about Suri,” Princess Twilight said quietly. Before anyone could say anything further, a voice shouted from the hallway.

“I lost! How could Rarity beat me? Coco, you stupid bitch!” It was Suri. Coco collapsed in on herself. It didn’t matter that three princesses and Rarity were there and would surely protect her. Years of ingrained responses sent Coco fleeing to the nearest corner to shiver in fear.

“I’m going to-” Suri walked in the door to find three very angry princesses and an even angrier winner of Fashion Week.

“Suri Polomare, I believe you, the police chief, and I need to have a discussion,” Princess Celestia said in her most imperious voice. 

“What? No! Whatever Coco told you is a lie! I found her, took her in, taught her everything she knows and this is how she repays me?! Arrest her, not me!” Suri blustered.

“Coco Pommel hasn’t accused you of anything,” Princess Luna said, affecting a disinterested tone. The fire in her eyes told a different story.

“I did,” Rarity spoke up, “I told my friend Twilight that you had stolen my fabrics and designs. She brought it to the attention of the other princesses. However, making threats against another is quite a serious matter.”

“Indeed, such intimidation is certainly punishable by law. Even if Coco refuses to testify against you directly, theft and terrorizing as witnessed by all four of us will guarantee you serve jail time. Make it easy on yourself, come along quietly, and there may be some leniency,” Princess Luna stated. 

Suri knew that she wouldn’t be able to worm her way out of it, so she heeded Princess Luna and allowed herself to be taken away by Princess Celestia. 

“Coco, it’s alright, dear. You never have to see that awful mare again,” Rarity cautiously drew closer to Coco, who was still shivering. 

“But- but what’ll I do? Suri was all I had! I can’t do anything! I’ll lose my job, my apartment, everything!” Coco was just this side of hyperventilating. 

“Coco, listen to me, I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to sew another stitch in your life. I can offer you a place to stay with me in Ponyville. If you insist on working, well, I imagine now that I’ve won Fashion Week I’ll have plenty of orders to take care of,” Rarity offered.

“I can’t. I’ll just make everything worse for you,” Coco moaned.

“I will be the judge of that. Suri did say that you were the one who put together the entire ensemble she stole and in one night to boot! You are certainly a capable seamstress. If you accept my offer, then I want to see what you can really do when you’re not being hounded and starved half to death. There are ponies that care about you Coco; you are a beautiful and talented mare. Never forget that.” Coco couldn’t take it anymore; she threw herself into Rarity’s embrace and sobbed her heart out.



 

Coco cried herself to sleep and reluctantly Rarity had left her in the care of Twilight and Luna while she had accepted her prize as quickly as it was possible to do politely. Afterward, they had roused Coco for long enough to get her to tell them where her apartment was and helped her pack what she needed. Before they left, Coco gave something to Rarity, a spool of rainbow thread.

“I know it’s not much, but I used a spool of thread just like that when I discovered my Special Talent while sewing a dress for one of my older cousins. I hope you like it,” Coco said nervously.

“Coco, I love it. Thank you very much,” Rarity knew she would treasure that spool always.

Currently, they were all on a late night train bound for Ponyville. Everyone was asleep except Rarity, Tom, and Twilight.

“I do believe I hate Suri and will never be able to forgive her,” Rarity confessed, “I could overlook her stealing from me, even if it was a terribly underhoofed thing to do, but what she did to Coco…” Rarity shook her head in anger.

“Forgiveness must come from a place of sincerity or it is pointless,” Tom shrugged, “Seeing Coco look like an abused puppy…I might just agree with you Rarity.”

“How terrible must I be, to be able to forgive Discord after all that he has done, but not Suri for what is comparatively minor?” Rarity wondered.

“Discord is trying to be a better person. The only thing Suri is sorry for is getting caught. I’m not going to say one is more worthy of forgiveness than the other, but I will say it is entirely understandable why we are able to forgive one and not the other, even if the scope of their sins are vastly different. We are not perfect, and expecting perfection from yourself will only lead to heartache,” Tom counseled.

“I suppose you are right. I am also sorry you all missed Hinny of the Hills. I know you in particular were looking forward to it,” Rarity apologized.

“There will be repeat performances and other musicals. If I were really that worked up about it, I probably can find the time to swing by Canterlot when they take it there. Helping Coco, on the other hand, is a performance that can’t be repeated, is the only one of its kind, and will change the life of a pony forever for the better. I’d say that’s a worthy trade and I’m sure the others would agree,” Tom said confidently.

“My, did you always have such a way with words?” Rarity teased.

“I’ve been known to have my moments; part of being an actor is an eloquent delivery, after all,” Tom replied with a smirk. 

“I will admit, I was surprised when Princess Celestia showed up alongside Luna,” Rarity commented.

“Celestia and Luna haven’t exactly made up, but they aren’t about to start yelling at each other in dead languages now either,” Tom confided. 

“That’s good to hear,” Rarity’s eyes drifted to Coco’s sleeping form, “I hope I can do right by her.”

“I’d say you’re doing a pretty good job. You’ve offered her work, a place to live and perhaps more importantly, friendship,” Twilight spoke up for the first time in the conversation. 

“To think I cursed my generosity! I nearly let Suri make me doubt one of the very cores of who I am, my Element! I am glad it is still intact enough to offer that generosity to one who so richly deserves it,” Rarity said warmly.

“We won’t reach Ponyville till morning, so let’s try and get some sleep like the others, yeah?” Twilight suggested and soon the trio joined their friends in dreamland.
> Song of Courage
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


 A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 15: Song of Courage


A few days ago, somehow, probably Luna, Chrysalis had heard of Coco Pommel’s situation. So there she was, in all her glory, to greet the whole crew as they disembarked from the train. As soon as she spotted the crème colored mare, Chrysalis pounced on her and wrapped her in a hug.

“There there, dear child, nothing shall harm you so long as I have anything to say about it,” And that was that. Chrysalis had practically adopted Coco on the spot. 

Coco, for her part, had been surprised. That was only natural when a Changeling easily twice, if not thrice, the size of yourself jumped you and declared you her adoptive child. She had heard of the Changelings, of course. Who hadn’t? But if their Queen was any indication, then the hysterics back in Manehatten were full of it. 

If Tom were to guess, it was news that Coco had been forcefully starved that invoked such a strong reaction in Chrysalis. He had to admit, there was something touching about watching Chrysalis showering Coco in affection. Tom looked forward to watching Coco bloom under the attentive care of the Changeling Queen. 

As far as He, Twilight, and Moon Dancer were concerned, it was back to the books after a pleasant vacation. Even with Luna’s solution to the situation with his and Twilight’s Souls, which she had reported was done and it did indeed require the Winter Solstice, they still needed something to put his Soul into.

That was why the day found Tom, Twilight, Luna, Moon Dancer, Fluttershy, Chrysalis, and Coco in the library. Coco had been inducted into the secret yesterday. She didn’t claim to understand it all, but figured weirdness just followed the Elements around. An impression reinforced by the occasional appearance of Discord. 

“How about the Mirror Pool? Is that thing still around?” Chrysalis wondered. 

“Already discussed and discarded,” Tom replied.

“Actually, that reminds me. There was an article in last month’s Transfiguration Today. It mentioned an experiment with cloning. I haven’t read it thoroughly, but that sounds promising,” Moon Dancer spoke up.

“Tom and I read that article too. All the tests ended in failure. The cloned body couldn’t survive the magic needed to sustain it past the initial gestation period. They were torn apart by the magic used to create them,” Twilight reported.

“None of those test bodies were Alicorns,” Chrysalis pointed out. Heads turned to her, “What? I read.”

“I suppose not, but none of the trials were on sapient subjects. What if the cloned Alicorn has a Mind or Soul of its own?” Twilight asked.

“That’s even assuming an Alicorn body would accept my Soul. Alicorns are made, not born. We don’t know if whatever force creates Alicorns would be happy with me inhabiting an Alicorn body it didn’t approve of,” Tom added.

“It hasn’t done anything to you so far. Anyway, we won’t know what will work or not for certain except on the Winter Solstice. It isn’t like we can call on volunteers and mess around with their Souls before the Solstice. Tom inhabiting an Alicorn body is our best bet. He’s already grown accustomed to it and there’s no telling what effects inhabiting Twilight’s body for so long could be doing to him. It’s just a bonus he’s been learning statecraft alongside Twilight,” Moon Dancer argued.

“We would not force Tom to become a Princess, er, Prince. Being an Alicorn does not require one to be Royalty,” Luna pointed out. Twilight wanted to say something sarcastic, but refrained. 

“I might end up being a mare anyway. If we do go the Alicorn clone body route, it’d be best to minimize unknown variables,” If he were being honest, Tom wanted to throw up just from bringing up that fact, but he contained himself. 

“I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a twin,” Twilight snarked and Tom glared at her. 

“At absolute worse, we can always move your Soul around from container to container after the ritual. The ritual is only needed to unbind the two of you, after all,” Luna reminded them, “I will not pretend it will be pleasant, but it should be doable.”

“Then we’ll write the people behind the experiment and see if we can’t get them to divulge their secrets,” Tom stated.

Before anything more could be said on the subject, the door to the library burst open.

“Fluttershy! Disaster! Twilight! Help!” Rarity shouted hysterically.

“Rarity, calm down and tell us what’s wrong, then we can help,” Twilight said soothingly. Rarity took a deep breath.

“The Ponytones were supposed to perform today for Fluttershy’s animal fundraiser, but Big Mac went and lost his voice in a turkey call contest! You have to do something!” Rarity cried.

So Tom, Twilight, Moon Dancer, and Fluttershy followed Rarity to Big Mac. A quick examination told them all they needed to know.

“I can certainly heal his vocal cords, but he’d still need to rest them or risk doing permanent damage,” Tom admitted. 

“Isn’t there some other way?!” Rarity demanded.

“We could use Loud Mouth’s thought to voice spell…” Moon Dancer trailed off.

“I’m sensing a ‘but’, darling,” Rarity sighed.

“It wasn’t designed with singing in mind. Replicating speech is easy enough, but a singing voice is so much more complicated,” Moon Dancer answered.

“It would be possible to create a bass voice similar to Big Mac’s to cover someone else’s voice, but all the spells I can think of for that either have a delay or worse, an echo,” Twilight frowned. 

“Could you change someone’s vocal chords to do it?” Rarity asked.

“Transfiguration on that level is extremely dangerous. One wrong move could cause the subject to lose their voice entirely. However, speaking of transfiguration, why not get a Changeling to shape shift into Big Mac?” Tom suggested.

“That might just be the best idea. I’ll have to track down a Changeling willing and teach them our songs, but-”

“Wait!” Fluttershy exclaimed, “I’ll take over for Big Mac!” Everyone looked at Fluttershy in confusion.

“Fluttershy, dear, while I don’t doubt you have a wonderful singing voice, this isn’t a Heartsong and you aren’t a bass,” Rarity said reasonably.

“I- uh- well…I can use poison joke,” Fluttershy confessed.

“I thought you hated what the poison joke did to your voice?” Twilight asked in confusion. 

“That was when I thought it was permanent. After I found out there was a cure, well, I’ve been using it every so often with Zecora’s help,” Fluttershy stared at the ground, “It’s just, it’s nice sometimes, hearing that big, booming, powerful voice coming from my mouth. It makes me feel just as powerful. Some days I’ll just go deep into the Everfree and talk or yell or shout or whatever in that voice.”

“That’s um, is that safe?” Tom questioned.

“Zecora’s assured me it’s perfectly safe and I trust her. I also need to get more used to performing in front of others if I’m going to compete in the Games. So, the Ponytones get the singer they need, the animals get a performance for the fundraiser, and I get some confidence practice. Everyone wins,” Fluttershy said with a small smile.

“If you’re sure about this, Fluttershy, then I see no reason to say no,” Rarity finally decided, “I’ll go call an emergency practice session with Toe Tapper and Torch Song.”

That night, almost all of Ponyville was in attendance. The Ponytones were local celebrities, after all. Maybe not on the level of Princesses and Elements, but still quite popular. Chrysalis and Luna were also there. They had caught wind of the change of plans and wanted to support the timid Pegasus. If Tom teasingly called it a date, well, a few bolts of magic were enough to send him scampering.

“That’s a lot of people,” Fluttershy said with a nervous gulp.

“And there will be more at the Games,” Rarity reminded. Fluttershy took a steadying breath.

“You’re right,” She agreed and downed the poison joke. Zecora’s brew worked almost immediately and Fluttershy spoke again in a commanding bass, “I’m ready.”

The Ponytones took the stage. Fluttershy felt some panic welling up in her from all the eyes on her, but Rarity blew a note and it subsided as Fluttershy opened her mouth. The singing and music easily carried her away. All her worries seemed a distant memory as song after song wrapped around her heart and was vocalized in all its glory.

Fluttershy had always enjoyed singing in private, with no one around but her animals. Now she was awakened to a whole new sort of joy as the singing of herself and the Ponytones brought happiness to all of Ponyville. Her song was her armor and her gift; it protected her from her fears and gave smiles to those around her. 

After it was all over and almost everyone had left, Fluttershy couldn’t help but cry.

“Fluttershy, darling, what’s wrong?” Rarity asked concerned.

“These are tears of happiness, Rarity. I never thought I’d be able to do something like this, but here I am,” Fluttershy replied.

“Bravo, bravo! You were outstanding, Fluttershy!” Those that were still around turned to see the Lord of Chaos suddenly appear in their midst.

“Oh, Discord, when did you get here?” Fluttershy wondered.

“I’ve been around~” He said airily, “I couldn’t very well miss the first performance of my very first friend, now could I? I never thought my poison joke could be used to such wonderful effect!”

“I had suspected, but it’s nice to know you were the one responsible for poison joke,” Twilight commented.

“Yes, one of my earlier experiments, it was certainly able to do its job, but it was also terribly, horribly predictable. You could pick just about anyone off the street and know in ten minutes what poison joke would do to them,” Discord shrugged, “I’d considered it a failure, but hearing it was able to get Fluttershy to sing like this, maybe it wasn’t such a failure after all.”

“Ah, Discord, while we have you here, we’ve found a way to split my Soul from Twilight’s. Would you be able to make me a vessel when the time comes?” Tom requested.

“I can try, but I make no promises. My magic is Chaos and follows no rule except sometimes the Rule of Funny and even I don’t always know what it would consider funny. One of the problems of being an Avatar of Chaos and not just Chaos itself, I’m told,” Discord remarked while donning a blue arrow tattoo and robes. 

“Well, your efforts are greatly appreciated,” Tom said sincerely.

“And your gratitude is most welcome. Tea at the usual time, Fluttershy?” Discord asked.

“You know it,” Fluttershy replied with a smile. 

Over the next week, Fluttershy would sing often with the Ponytones, in between practicing with Dash and the others. Most of it was with her poison joke voice, but once Big Mac was recovered, she sometimes used her natural voice. Every time she sang, she fell more in love with it. She didn’t know how that was possible, but it was true nonetheless.
> Unexpected Boon
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


“OK, please, start from the top. I just know I didn’t hear you right,” Tom was pretty sure he had heard just fine. He was just praying that wasn’t the case.

“Alright, well, you see, it all started this mornin’,” Applejack began.





Applejack was as excited as she’d ever been. It was almost time for the year’s largest harvest! She had gotten up before dawn, she’d been so excited. As the sun climbed into the sky and the rooster crowed, Applejack let out a holler. 

She marched through the orchard, looking for the perfect tree to start bucking. Then, she found it. Applejack wasted no time in turning around and landing the kick to free the apples. As they rained down around her, her heart soared. She reached out to catch one, only for it to splat against her hooves in a way no apple should splat.

“What the heck is goin’ on?!” Applejack exclaimed. She looked up into the tree and spotted them. The vampire fruit bats had returned. 

Applejack wasted no time gathering anyone and everyone she thought could help.





“So why didn’t you wake me?” Tom asked irritably.

“Tom, we all agreed you needed your sleep. You and Twilight did spend all of last night experimenting,” Luna pointed out reasonably.

“If you had woken me, we wouldn’t be dealing with this!” Tom barked crossly.

“If you’ll let me continue?” Applejack asked.





Everyone, except Tom and Twilight, was gathered around the barn.

“Dame Applejack, what was so urgent as to require all of us?” Luna wondered as she stifled a yawn.

“The very existence of Sweet Apple Acres is at stake! Vampire fruit bats are attacking!” Applejack yelled hysterically.

“Vampire fruit bats? That’s what this is all about? They’re a minor pest at worse,” Moon Dancer said dismissively. Applejack turned on her.

“Y’all weren’t around last time vampire fruit bats ravaged Sweet Apple Acres. It was back when my Granny was just a filly. There was an apple shortage for the whole winter! I still have nightmares from the stories she’s told me about that winter…” Applejack broke off with a shudder.

“And we’ve come a long way since then. There are easy ways to deal with vampire fruit bats,” Moon Dancer deadpanned.





“What part of this is an 'easy way to deal with vampire fruit bats’?!” Tom shouted accusingly.

“Quit yer hissy fit Tom, I’m gettin’ there,” Applejack assured.





“Oh yeah? What ways would this be?” Applejack asked grumpily.

“We could section the vampire fruit bats away in their own area of the orchard until they’re ready to move on,” Fluttershy suggested, “You’d even get strong new trees out of it.”

“No way! They’ve already eaten too many apples as it is! Besides, I can’t let them at my prize winnin’ apple!” Applejack unveiled a staggeringly huge apple, “This here is our entry into the Appleoosa State Fair’s produce competition. I can’t risk it.”

“That is a heck of an apple, in all connotations,” Chrysalis chuckled and was bopped upside the head by Luna’s wing. 

“I might be able to talk them into leaving it alone?” Fluttershy offered. 

“Would ya?” Applejack asked hopefully. Fluttershy flew off to talk to the vampire fruit bats. She returned with less than great news.

“I’m sorry; I’ve never spoken to a vampire fruit bat before. It’ll be a little while before I learn their language properly. I think they’ve agreed to leave your prize apple alone, but I’m not sure…” Fluttershy trailed off. 

“Not sure isn’t good enough, not when my baby is on the line!” Applejack said angrily.

“Relax Applejack, I might be able to help Fluttershy with her linguistics problem,” Moon Dancer said in an attempt to placate her.

“I have an idea too!” Chrysalis chimed in. Unicorn and Changeling put their heads together, talking over their ideas.

“I think this is more likely to work if Chrysalis casts it. Fluttershy, if you’re willing?” Moon Dancer asked.

“I’m willing to try if it means getting to understand more animals,” Fluttershy replied and Chrysalis wasted no time in casting the spell.





“And the results are before us,” Tom remarked, giving stink eye to both Changeling Queen and Moon Dancer. 

“We didn’t mean to turn her into a vampire pony!” Chrysalis protested.

“The spell was only supposed to give her more sympathetic tendencies with the vampire fruit bats!” Moon Dancer concurred.

“Hard to get more ‘sympathetic’ than turning her into a pony/bat hybrid,” Twilight snarked. 

“I don’t know, I think it’s kinda neat,” Fluttershy opined from a branch she was hanging on before giving into temptation and snatching an apple with her new tongue and slurping it dry.

“Yeah, I’m with Flutters, this is kinda cool!” Rainbow Dash agreed. 

“Those are mah apples yer slurpin’,” said Applejack testily.

“I convinced the vampire fruit bats to stay in their area of the orchard and to leave your special apple alone. I think I deserve some sort of reward,” Fluttershy said before casually taking another apple. Applejack let out a growl, but didn’t contest the point. One Flutterbat wasn’t gonna be able to eat her whole orchard. 

“I’m gonna leave this whole thing to you magic types to figure out. I’m behind on the harvest as it is,” Applejack gave up and wandered off to help her family harvest.

“So, does either of you two brainiacs have any idea how to reverse this?” Tom asked, despite already having a fair idea as to the answer. 

“Not as such…” Chrysalis replied demurely.

“No,” Moon Dancer replied bluntly. 

“Twilight?” Tom asked hopefully.

“We could probably force her back into a Pony body, but without knowing exactly what the spell did, we could do some pretty serious damage,” Twilight answered. 

“Her magic has mutated into something not dissimilar to my own Thestrals. I believe once her magic has settled from the transformation, I may be able to reverse it,” Luna took pity on the Changeling Queen and Unicorn and offered a solution. 

“How long will that take?” Rainbow asked.

“Shouldn’t be more than an hour now,” Luna assured. 

“Oh, that’s a bit of a shame. I feel stronger, my senses are sharper, and I’m sure I can fly faster like this,” Fluttershy sighed in disappointment.

“I am sorry, Fluttershy, but due to the accidental nature of this transformation, it is best to reverse it as quickly as possible in case there are any nasty side effects that have yet to manifest,” Luna sounded genuinely sorry. 

“Once this is all over, I’m going back to bed!” Tom declared.

“First you’re grouchy about us not waking you up, and now you’re grouchy about being awake! Make up your mind!” Pinkie shouted. 

“I’m perfectly capable of being grouchy about multiple things at the same time,” Tom deadpanned. 

“I can attest to that!” Twilight chirped, earning an eye roll from Tom. 

The rest of the hour was spent with most of the group playing Old Maid. Fluttershy and Rainbow were getting in as much play time with Flutterbat as they could. 

“Fluttershy, the hour is up, please come here!” Luna called out.

“Oh, alright,” Fluttershy said sadly. She landed before the moon goddess.

“I will do this as gently as possible,” Luna promised as her horn ignited. Tendrils of Magic swirled around Fluttershy, completely obscuring her from view. It lasted for five seconds, but when it was over, Fluttershy was still Flutterbat.

“Huh?” Was the general consensus. Then Fluttershy reverted to normal. Then back to Flutterbat. She went back and forth a few more times, to the growing shock of her audience. Finally she stopped at Fluttershy with a huge grin on her face.

“I can feel it!” She cheered.

“WHAT?!” The group collectively cried. Luna inspected Fluttershy a bit closer.

“I don’t believe it. She’s completely internalized the transformation. I thought only Changelings could do that,” Luna said in awe.

“Really?” Chrysalis was intrigued and she too inspected Fluttershy, “Well I’ll be a Sea Pony’s aunt.”

“Nope,” Tom decided he had seen enough, “Wake me up no earlier than noon tomorrow. I don’t have the energy to deal with this madness right now.” With that, he marched off. 

“Poor Tom, all this stress can’t be good for him,” Fluttershy said as if she wasn’t a major contributor to that stress at that moment. 

“Maybe we can throw him a party to get him to unwind!” Pinkie suggested.

“You can try, but if you don’t want him to conspire with Twilight in a plot to get rid of all your Pink, I wouldn’t wake him before he wakes up himself,” Moon Dancer warned. 

“Party postponed,” Pinkie took the warning seriously. She liked her Pink just where it was, thank you very much.

“So, will it hurt Fluttershy if we leave her like this?” Rainbow asked.

“Like I said, she’s internalized the transformation. It could no more hurt her than her ability to talk to animals. Pony magic is very particular about what sort of things it lets attach to itself in this manner,” Luna replied. Rainbow and Fluttershy were immediately dancing about with each other in celebration. 

“Well, if nothing else, I think I shall enjoy the challenge of creating dresses for this new form. Oh, and Fluttershy, congratulations. I can see how happy this makes you,” With that, Rarity headed back into town to open her boutique with Coco following close behind after her own words of congratulations. 

“Come on, Flutters, let’s show the rest of the team how awesome this is!” Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flew off the farm as well. That just left Luna, Chrysalis, and Moon Dancer.

“Well, that was a thing that happened. I’m going to head back to the library now,” Moon Dancer made to trot off.

“Not so fast, Moon Dancer. I’d like a word with you. Chrissy, I can see you trying to sneak off as well,” Both knew when they were licked and came to sit before the lunar diarch, “What you did today, while done with good intentions, was still irresponsible. We are all fortunate it turned out as well as it did, but it was still somewhat unwise to cast an untested spell variant.”

“We got her permission first,” Moon Dancer muttered.

“I know, which is the only reason neither of you will be punished and I didn't stop you in the first place. You're all fully capable of exercising good judgement. When I heard you discussing the spell, I didn't think anything could go particularly wrong, so I let it happen. I'm still not sure how a spell designed to affect only the mind wound up transforming Fluttershy so, but I digress. I just want you to bear it in mind for the future,” Luna said gently. 

“We will,” Both chorused and Luna rolled her eyes. 

“Go on, get out of here. I don’t think even the two of you can manage more than one major magical catastrophe in a day,” Luna teased. Deciding to take the opportunity presented, Unicorn and Changeling Queen teleported out of the orchard. 

“How Tia makes this look so easy, I’ll never know,” Luna sighed to herself, “I suppose the thousand extra years helps, the old nag.”

Luna snickered and flew back into Ponyville proper to take care of her own business for the day
> Family Bonds
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 17: Family Bonds


Trixie had returned to the outskirts of Ponyville again, as had been her habit every couple of weeks since the mess with the Alicorn Amulet. She didn’t know why she kept coming back, but something inside bid her to do so. In her private thoughts, Trixie suspected it was because she wanted to apologize for terrorizing the town, but lacked the courage to go through with it. 

“Nice day today, isn’t it?”

“It’s not bad,” Trixie agreed before registering someone was taking to her, “Sparkle!”

“Hello, Trixie,” Her arch nemesis greeted cordially. Trixie tensed herself, ready to throw a smoke bomb and run.

“What do you want?” Trixie asked warily.

“According to Pinkie, you’ve been hovering around Ponyville every so often. Yet you haven’t actually entered town. Why?” The purple one asked.

“Trixie does not have to explain herself to you, Sparkle,” Trixie grumbled.

“Would you like to come into town for a bite to eat?” Sparkle offered.

“Why would Trixie go anywhere with you?” Truthfully, Trixie was feeling slightly peckish. She just knew going into Ponyville itself was a bad idea. Something of her thoughts must have shown on her face.

“Trixie, no one is gonna run you out of town for the Alicorn Amulet thing. It was barely a four on the scale of things Ponyville has had to put up with. Everyone’s already moved past it,” Sparkle promised.

“How does Trixie know she can trust you?” Trixie squinted her eyes at Sparkle, as if to detect falsehoods. 

“If it makes you feel better, you’ll be the personal guest of a princess. No one would dare start trouble with me vouching for you,” Sparkle promised. Trixie turned it over in her head. She did have business in Ponyville and the protection of a princess was a big deal. Even if that princess was Sparkle.

“Fine, but if Trixie gets taken by a lynch mob, she will never forgive you!” Trixie threatened.

“If they haven’t run Discord out of town yet, I don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Sparkle replied with a smile.

“Discord? As in…?” Trixie was almost afraid to finish that sentence. Anyone with even a passing familiarity with History knew who Discord was.

“Lord of Chaos, yes, that Discord. Don’t worry; he’s a big softy these days. Even if he, Rainbow, and Pinkie teamed up to prank the whole town last week…took a whole day to get the taste of coriander out of my mouth…” Sparkle muttered to herself. 

“Trixie will accompany you…just please keep any ancient and powerful villains away from Trixie,” Trixie requested.

“They’re all ancient, powerful, and reformed villains here in Ponyville,” Sparkle promised.

“Let us go before Trixie’s common sense catches up with her,” Trixie said with a shake of her head and began walking into town with Sparkle right behind. Not long after they had entered town, a voice called out.

“Well if it ain’t Trixie!” The orange one, Applejack, called out and marched right up to Trixie. Well, she was there to make amends, might as well start with this one, “I have somethin’ I’ve been fixin’ to say to you fer quite some time now.”

“Say your piece, Trixie is ready,” She was trusting Sparkle would keep things from getting out of hoof.

“I’m sorry,” Trixie’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Pardon?”  Trixie couldn’t believe her ears.

“When ya’ll come into town the first time, I acted like what you were doin’ was somehow less makin’ an honest livin’ than what I do on the farm. If mah Ma were still around, she’d have tanned mah hide, full grown mare or not,” Applejack said with a rueful smile.

“Well…Trixie wasn’t exactly graceful with her dealing of your heckling. Trixie went too far. For that, and for what she did with the Alicorn Amulet, Trixie is greatly and powerfully apologetic,” Trixie replied.

“Well, shoot, I reckon we’re square. I don’t think anyone holds the Alicorn Amulet thing against you anyway. We here in Ponyville have a bad history with mind control an’ the like,” A mischievous smile grew on the mare’s face, “Ask Twilight to tell ya about the want-it need-it incident.”

“Sparkle actually used the want-it need-it spell?!” That was very surprising news indeed.

“Right, before this goes any further, there’s something you should know, Trixie. I’m not Twilight,” Before Trixie could look at Sparkle like the crazy pony she sounded like, she popped a body double into existence.

“Hi Trixie,” The double greeted.

“And ponies say Trixie has multiple personalities…” Trixie said with a raised eyebrow.

“Twilight was messing with a spell. She thought it was the whole thing, but she was missing a few key components,”

“Luna’s writing was awful! I had to run her notes through a translation spell to even read it right and it was written in old Equuish, which isn’t that hard to read,” The double complained.

“Trixie could never get past all the thee and thou,” Trixie remarked.

“Anyway, she wound up jamming my Soul into her body. My name is Tom,” The supposed body snatcher greeted.

“Trixie still isn’t sure you haven’t just gone crazy, but if something that crazy were to happen to anyone, Trixie supposes it would be Sparkle,” Trixie admitted. 

“Well, see the three of you later, I’ve gotta set up the stall for the lunch rush,” Applejack waved goodbye as she continued on her way.

“Well, that’s one down, two more to go,” Sparkle noted. 

“Trixie supposes that wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been,” Trixie reluctantly said.

“Well, I don’t know exactly where Rainbow is, but I would guess out by the lake. That would make the closest one Rarity at her boutique,” Tom observed.

“Rarity? The marshmallow Unicorn?” Trixie asked.

“Don’t let her hear you call her a marshmallow. It wouldn’t be pretty,” Tom warned, “I speak from hard won personal experience.”

“Duly noted,” Trixie was here to set things right, not reignite trouble. The three of them walked over to a fancy looking two story building. Tom knocked on the door. It was quickly opened by a crème colored Earth Pony mare.

“Oh, hello Twilight, Tom. Who’s this you have with you?” She asked.

“Trixie is the great and powerful Trixie! I have come to request forgiveness from the one they call Rarity!” Trixie exclaimed. 

“Er, alright, I’ll go get Rarity,” She replied after blinking owlishly a few times, “She’s in her inspiration room, it should only be a moment.”

Sure enough, only a few moments later, Rarity came down the stairs. 

“Oh, it’s you,” Rarity sounded displeased when she saw Trixie. Something about her gaze made Trixie nervous. 

“Um, if you’d just hear Trixie out…” Trixie said hesitantly.

“I’m listening,” Rarity made a ‘go on’ motion.

“Trixie wishes to make amends for what she did to your mane…and it isn’t a rat’s nest,” Rarity’s eyes seemed to bore holes into her very Soul. It was a distinctly uncomfortable feeling. Just as Trixie was about to reach for a smoke bomb, Rarity spoke.

“You will make it up to me by being a model for me,” Rarity’s tone brokered no argument, “I expect you to stay in Ponyville for at least two weeks and then for you to stop by every time you come to Ponyville for tea and cookies. Am I clear?”

“Yes ma’am,” Trixie said without thinking about it. Rarity’s whole demeanor changed from icy to warm.

“Very good! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I was right in the middle of something when you called. I’d like to get back to it before I forget. Ta ta!” With that, Rarity headed back up the stairs.

“What did Trixie just agree to?” Trixie wondered.

“Many hours of pseudo-torture along with all the tea and cookies you could ever want,” Tom deadpanned.

“Oh, hush you. Posing for Rarity isn’t that bad,” Sparkle rebuked.

“We’ll just have to agree to disagree. Now, come on, we’ve got one last stop and then lunch. See you later, Coco,” Tom bid farewell.

“Bye, Coco,” Sparkle echoed.

“Goodbye, Twilight, Tom. It was nice to meet you Miss Trixie,” Coco said pleasantly.

“Please, just call Trixie Trixie. If you absolutely must, then ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie’ will do,” Trixie said.

“As you wish, Trixie,” Coco replied without missing a beat. 

“Well…goodbye, Coco,” Trixie said awkwardly and exited the boutique. 

Trixie followed Tom and Twilight to the lake Tom had mentioned and sure enough, there was a rainbow blur flying about along with a few other Pegasai and Changelings. 

“HEY, RD, you got a minute?!” Tom shouted to the heavens. Rainbow must have heard him, because she banked hard and landed before them.

“Oh, hey, Trixie. Tom and Twilight finally managed to corner you?” Rainbow asked.

“You don’t seem particularly surprised,” Sparkle noted.

“Yeah, I’ve known Trixie’s been hanging around Ponyville for a couple of months now,” Rainbow reveled.

“You knew Trixie was here?!” Trixie didn’t know how to feel about that.

“I figured you’d either puck up the courage or Tom and Twilight would ambush you sooner or later,” Rainbow said with a shrug. 

“Well, seeing as you haven’t tried to run Trixie off, Trixie assumes you have no hard feelings. However, Trixie will still humbly and sincerely apologize,” Trixie felt a load she hadn’t realized she’d been carrying come off as she apologized to the last of her victims. 

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I’ve had people heckling me before, I should’ve known better. Besides, I was being extra arrogant, even for me. I deserved to get knocked down a peg,” Rainbow accepted her apology.

“Is our little Dashie finally becoming self aware?” Tom asked in a stage whisper.

“I think so, oh I’m so proud of her,” Sparkle adopted the tone of an overly proud mother.

“Ha ha, you two. Twilight, I think you’ve been spending too much time around Tom,” Rainbow quipped.

“Wooooow, Rainbow with the absolute savagery!” Tom pretended to clutch at his chest as though wounded.

“Believe me, if I could get some alone time, I’d take it,” Sparkle said with a straight face.

“Assaulted on all sides!” Trixie couldn’t help but snicker.

“Alright, as fun as this is, I gotta get back to practice. See you later!” Rainbow took off back to the sky. Trixie then felt her stomach growl.

“That sounds like a call for lunch if I’ve ever heard one,” Sparkle remarked. The trio quickly found a small restaurant and ordered their food.

“So, Trixie, from what Twilight tells me, you know quite the assortment of tricks. Did you come up with all of them yourself or did someone teach you?” Tom asked as they waited for their food.

“Most of Trixie’s performance is self-taught. She did learn a few things from Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns before she ran away though,” Tom and Twilight shared a look, “Oh, it’s nothing like that. Trixie’s parents love her very much. They still send Trixie letters.”

“Then why’d you run away?” Twilight asked.

“All Trixie wanted was to be a performer like her father. She became frustrated with the class work and impatient with her father not teaching her his tricks. So one day she simply skipped town and never looked back,” Trixie grew a melancholy look, “Trixie…I apparently have a sister now. A Pegasus, if you can believe it. Mom and Dad were so surprised, but everypony is of mixed heritage now, except some nobles and bigots. Whoops, Trixie was being redundant.”

“Trixie, not all nobles are bigots and not all bigots are nobles,” Sparkle said with a roll of her eyes. The food arrived at that moment.

“Fine, take the one thing more precious than Trixie’s magic: her witty quips!” Trixie exclaimed melodramatically before taking a bite of her daisy sandwich.

“What a ham,” Came a teasing male voice. Suddenly the Dread Lord Discord appeared, sitting on a chair perched at a 32 degree angle, if Trixie was any judge. She squeaked out an ‘eep’!

“You’re one to talk,” Tom snarked.

“Tom, I believe there’s an expression, something about a pot and a kettle.” Sparkle added her two cents. 

“I agree,” Tom nodded his head.

“I was talking about you and Discord,” Sparkle corrected

“Oh,” Tom seemed a bit put out by this.

“I’ll have you know I approach each situation with exactly the right amount of dramatics. I use only the best Boston Butt, after all,” Discord retorted before dunking what looked like a pickle in a cup of what seemed to be black tea of some kind and eating it. 

“Discord, that’s disgusting,” Sparkle complained, but she was ignored.

“So, you’re Trixie! I must say, that little stunt with the Alicorn Amulet was most amusing. Now, however, you’re part of the Reformed Villains Club of Ponyville!” What looked like a swarm of bumblebees formed the letters RVCP above him, “And what an illustrious club it is! Among our members are greats such as myself, Princess Moonbutt, and Queen Bug Horse! Even Purple Smart here is an honorary member!”

“Trixie takes it that has something to do with the want-it need-it spell?” Discord hadn’t turned her inside out yet, so she took that as a win.

“Yeah, Twilight used the spell on a doll. The whole town went absolutely berserk over it,” Tom supplied.

“Trixie doesn’t know if she should be impressed or terrified that Sparkle managed to make it strong enough to cover all of Ponyville,” Trixie remarked. 

“And that was before she became an Alicorn!” Discord added helpfully. 

“Terrified it is,” Trixie deadpanned. 

“You cast one want-it need-it and you’re marked for life,” Sparkle lamented. 

“And Alicorns have very long lives,” Tom said with a smirk.

“Yes, I’m sure you’ll never let me forget the misguided misadventures of my youth,” Sparkle sighed.

“I wouldn’t call them ‘misguided’. They were wonderful chaos, after all,” Discord argued.

“That makes me feel so much better,” Sparkle said with a half lidded glare at the Lord of Chaos. 

“Always happy to help!” And just as suddenly as he had appeared, Discord wrapped himself up like a scroll, set himself on fire, and vanished. 

“Trixie suddenly feels like she needs a nap,” Trixie complained.

“Discord can have that effect,” Sparkle quipped. 

“So, Trixie has been wondering something. Why hasn’t the town freaked out over there being two Sparkles?” Trixie asked.

“We’ve spread the rumor that this is just a control exercise. As far as the layperson is aware, Twilight is just splitting her focus to talk from two places at once,” Tom explained.

“And it isn’t even entirely a lie. Having Tom maintain this spell is good for his control and endurance,” Sparkle noted. 

“Don’t think we don’t know you’re trying to move the conversation away from your family. Discord may have delayed us, but we’re tenacious problem solvers,” Tom had discovered her clever ruse.

“What is Trixie supposed to do? Walk up to the house, knock on the door, and say ‘Daddy, Trixie is home!’?” Trixie grumbled.

“That sounds like an excellent idea,” Sparkle said to Trixie’s surprise.

“What? No! That is a terrible idea! Trixie has been gone for nearly a decade!” Trixie protested. 

“All the more reason to stop putting it off. The longer you wait, the harder it’s gonna be. What if something happens to them? Or to you? Do you really want the last thing you remember of each other to be the last thing you said to them before you left?” Tom questioned. 

Trixie remember the argument she had had with her father before she left. Well, maybe calling it an argument was overstating it a bit. Trixie had asked again for her father to teach her his tricks, he had refused once again, she had told him she hated him and ran to her room. She had packed what little she could carry and fled out her window into the night.

“No…I don’t want that.” Trixie admitted quietly. 

“Then go to them,” Tom instructed.

“Do you want us to go with you?” Sparkle asked kindly.

“Yes, to keep Trixie from chickening out,” Trixie hated how weak her voice sounded to her own ears. 

“Then we should go tomorrow. Where do your parents live?” Tom asked.

“Tomorrow?! But Trixie isn’t ready!” Trixie protested. 

“No sense in delaying it,” Sparkle said simply and Trixie knew she was right.

“Trixie’s parents moved to Canterlot after she was accepted to CSGU. They never moved back to Las Pegasus because…they wanted Trixie to always be able to find her way home,” Trixie tried not to cry, but a few traitorous tears escaped anyway. 





Trixie wanted to run, to hide, to be anywhere other than where she was. Why had she agreed to this? Even as she contemplated dropping a smoke bomb, she knew Tom would somehow drag her back. If not that, her own guilty conscious would inevitably draw her back to Canterlot, dithering about until someone noticed her and told her family where she was. Deciding to take the plunge, she knocked on the door.

“Well, no one’s home! Let’s go!” Trixie was about to turn around to the surely skeptical face of Tom when the door opened and a small magenta Pegasus with a dark blue mane appeared in the doorway. Trixie knew it was her younger sister, Firefly. She hadn’t even gotten her Cutie Mark yet. The sisters stared at each other for almost a full minute. Then Firefly screamed.

“YOU’RE REAL! Mom and Dad said I had a big sister, but I never saw you and there were only old pictures so I didn’t know if they were making it up and-” The filly ran her mouth at a thousand mile an hour. 

“Firefly, who’s at the door?” Came a soft female voice from within the house. 

“Trixie’s back, Mom!” The sound of something shattering followed that announcement. Showcase came charging into the entranceway. Just as her youngest had said, there was her eldest daughter. 

“Hi, Mom,” Trixie said thickly. Suddenly Trixie found herself getting the life squeezed out of her by her mother.

“Oh, my baby girl, you’re back,” She wept into her daughter’s shoulder. Trixie returned the hug and started crying too. 

“What happened? I heard something breaking,” A cultured sounding Trottingham voice called out.

“Honey, Trixie’s home!” Showcase shouted back. Jackpot came racing down the stairs, almost falling down. 

“Trixie!” Jackpot wasted no time in joining his wife hugging their daughter. Firefly, not wanting to be left out, joined in as well.

“I’m so sorry, Daddy, I don’t hate you!” Trixie blubbered. 

“I know, sweetheart, I know,” Jackpot whispered hoarsely. 

None of the family noticed Tom slipping away. His work was done. The prodigal daughter had returned home. The world was just a little bit brighter than it had been that morning.
> A Day Out
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 18: A Day Out



It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the temperature was warm, but not hot, and the sky was clear. The day found Rarity and Coco Pommel out doing some grocery shopping. Sweetie Belle had tried her hoof at cooking again. Lunch had naturally been a mess.

While on the way to Carrot Top’s stall, Rarity took a moment to notice the Changeling Hive. It was due to be complete any day now and with their new home all but finished, more Changelings were spending more time in Ponyville itself. 

It was still odd to her, sometimes, to see both Changelings in their natural form and in various Pony shapes. As a point of courtesy, so the average Pony could tell who was a Changeling in disguise, none of the Changelings made Cutie Marks for themselves. Privately, Rarity wasn’t sure that was the best solution or that it was even a problem that required a solution at all. 

Of course, shape shifter etiquette wasn’t something she had taught herself growing up, so maybe the Changelings saw it differently. Maybe her thoughts on the matter were inconsequential. Still, she couldn’t help but think it a shame that the Changelings weren’t allowed to express themselves fully by creating Cutie Marks for themselves if they so wanted one.

A lack of creative expression certainly hadn’t been a problem for Coco, who had no issue creating a truly magnificent prototype dress design for Chrysalis. Coco had used some of Rarity’s original material, dyed it a sea green, and turned it into a lovely, gossamer evening gown for the Changeling Queen. Chrysalis’ reaction still caused Rarity to smile, even days later. 

Hmm, now there was an idea. Making a dress that would survive Changeling shape shifting. She’d probably have to consult Twilight, Moon Dancer, and Chrysalis herself to find out how exactly the shape shifting worked, but Rarity was nothing if not creative. That could come later, for now there was a pantry to restock.

“Coco, dear, is there anything you’d like to eat?” Rarity asked kindly.

“Oh, um, no, I’m sure whatever you get will be great,” Coco replied and Rarity had to quash a feeling of frustration. Coco was naturally such a sweetheart, but the abuse she had suffered made her a worse doormat than even Fluttershy could be back before the Elements had come together. Rarity and Chrysalis were both doing their best to rekindle her self-confidence, but it was slow going and Rarity felt a renewed spike of loathing for Suri. It was still a challenge to get her to eat proper meals some days. 

How Rarity wished she could take even a fraction of Rainbow Dash’s self-confidence and ego and gift it to Coco. But that way laid madness. Honestly, Rarity was just glad Coco was eating at all and still had the will to create and sew. Rarity admired that core of strength that remained unbroken despite her trials. 

If only Rarity could get Coco to divulge some of her favorite meals! If anyone on the whole of Equuis deserved pampering, it was Coco. Actually…

“Coco, after we return home and put away the groceries, would you accompany me to the spa?” True, her weekly spa appointment with Fluttershy was tomorrow, but Rarity was sure the Spa Twins wouldn’t mind a walk in. 

“I wouldn’t want to be a bother,” Coco answered softly. Rarity turned to Coco and guided Coco’s eyes to her own with a hoof under the chin.

“Coco, you will never be a bother. Chrysalis, myself, and everyone else wants you around because we simply adore you. That’s all that needs to be said on the matter,” Rarity told her with finality. 

“I know that in my head. You all have been so wonderful to me. I just…a voice is whispering that the other shoe is going to drop. That something will happen to this perfect life in this perfect place. Sometimes it even says it’ll be my fault when it happens. I hate that my Heart expects betrayal when you all have been nothing but kind to me,” Coco confessed in a terrified whisper.

“Three things you should know, Coco. Ponyville has been through Tartarus and back, yet we’re all still here. I don’t see that changing any time soon. Second, as I said before, we all love you and there’s nothing you can do to change that. Finally, I may not be as powerful as Alicorn Princesses and Changeling Queens, but I will protect you if needs be. Be that from the monster of the week, or those insidious whispers in your mind,” Rarity promised. Coco couldn’t control herself; she flung herself at Rarity for a hug, tears streaming down her face.

“Thank you,” Coco said wetly.

“Think nothing of it. I only speak the truth. Now, let’s finish the shopping so I can get you to the Spa Twins. I promise you, you’ve never felt true bliss until you’ve let Lotus and Aloe work away all your stress,” Rarity’s offer did sound tempting.

So that’s what they did. A half hour later, the pair was inside the Ponyville Spa and Beauty Salon. They weren’t the only ones there, as a shockingly rainbow colored mane attested. 

“Why, Rainbow, what brings you here?” Rarity asked. Rainbow turned to them and she could almost feel the eye roll as a physical force.

“Yeah, yeah, Rainbow Dash isn’t supposed to like the spa but comes here anyway. Get some new material. The qualifiers at Rainbow Falls are only a week away and I need my wings in top condition. Aloe is a goddess tier wing massager. You do the math. I’m also here to book an appointment for the whole team just before we leave.” Rainbow reported. 

“You’re right, that joke has gotten old. I’m sure you’ll do something silly soon and I’ll have new material,” Rarity ribbed the Pegasus. 

“So long as you’re actually making an effort to make the joke funny,” Rainbow teased back. 

“Miss Rainbow, I’m ready for your appointment,” Aloe came into the room, “Miss Rarity, what brings you here today?”

“I have a bit of an emergency,” Rarity nudged Coco, “This one needs pampering, stat.”

In the time Coco had been in Ponyville, she had already gotten a reputation as the sweetest thing since sugar. There were also more than a few different rumors on why she was so withdrawn and staying with Rarity. If she needed a spa day, Aloe was more than happy to help.

“I believe Lotus is just finishing with a customer and her next appointment was canceled. I’ll go fetch her. Miss Rainbow, come with me so I can get you prepared for your massage,” Aloe requested and both she and Rainbow disappeared into the facility.

Coco started fidgeting slightly as soon as they had left, but Lotus appeared before it could get too bad.

“Aloe has told me that my favorite customer and her friend are in dire straits. Come, I will have you sorted in no time!” Lotus beckoned them on. 

The next hour and a half was pure bliss, as it always was with the talents of the Spa Twins. Coco came out the other side more relaxed than she thought possible. Was this how Pegasai felt after sleeping on a cloud? Her muscles felt pleasantly wobbly and her face had never felt so clean. She didn’t care if she had a silly smile on her face, she just felt good. 

“Once again, you have proven to be the best in the business,” Rarity complimented as she paid for their stay while Coco was still in a haze of pleasure.

“I wouldn’t say the best but it does help that both my sister and I love what we do,” She grew a wide grin as she gazed upon Coco, “The face of a perfectly happy customer is what we both live for. I’m sure you understand, Miss Rarity, being a business mare yourself.”

“You are quite right. There’s nothing like seeing someone find that perfect suit or dress,” Rarity sighed wistfully. She then turned to her companion, “Come along, Coco, I should start preparing dinner soon. Hopefully we’ll get home before Sweetie gets it in her head to try cooking again.”

And so the day came to a close. A Unicorn and an Earth Pony lay down to sleep. The bond between them slightly deeper than it had been the day before. The Earth Pony found she could draw a bit more comfort from the wonderful friends around her and the Unicorn was content with this small step of progress.
> A New Perspective
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 19: A New Perspective


Twilight and Tom were at Ponyville Station waiting for Cadence’s arrival. Twilight had been looking forward to this for two weeks. It was finally a chance for her and Cadence to catch up when the fate of Equestria didn’t hang in the balance. What better low stress way to spend the day than visiting the traveling Star Swirl the Bearded museum? Just so long as she kept Cadence and Chrysalis apart, nothing could go wrong!

The others had been there earlier to say goodbye to Fluttershy as she went off to study the Breezies. Rainbow Dash had ordered her team to take the weekend off to relax, so Fluttershy had taken the golden opportunity. Now it was just Tom and Twilight, as the others all had things they needed to do. Although, there was one notable absence…Tom thought it strange that Discord hadn’t showed up to wish Fluttershy well on her journey.

Tom put those thoughts from his mind as Cadence’s train pulled up to the station. Soon, Cadence disembarked with a Crystal Pony guard and a Pegasus guard. Cadence grew a huge smile upon seeing the pair.

“Your Highness,” Cadence bowed to Twilight, getting a raised eyebrow from both, but they were willing to play along.

“Your Highness,” Twilight greeted in return

“Your Majesty,” Tom was barely able to keep the teasing tone out of his voice. Both turned to him, “What? Cadence is technically Empress of the Crystal Empire, thus making the correct form of address ‘Majesty’.” Tom hadn’t read all those Shakespearian plays for nothing.

“Huh, I hadn’t actually thought of that,” Cadence admitted.

“Tom, you can’t explain the joke, you’ll only ruin it,” Ah, there was Discord. 

“I’m surprised you weren’t here earlier when Fluttershy left,” Twilight voiced Tom’s thoughts.

“Don’t tell anyone this, but I just can’t stand goodbyes. I know she’ll only be gone for two days, but it already feels like a lifetime,” Discord sighed melodramatically, “Er, would you mind it too terribly if I spent the day in your company?”

“We did have plans with Cadence, but I don’t mind you tagging along. What say the two of you?” Tom asked.

“So long as you behave yourself around the artifacts,” Twilight agreed somewhat reluctantly.

“If you both are OK with it, I don’t see why I shouldn’t be,” Cadence put in and Discord seemed overjoyed.

“Oh, thank you, I’ll mind my manners! I’ll even share with you a few things I know about the sour old coot and his merry band!” Discord promised as they began heading to the museum.

“Star Swirl had friends? I thought the whole reason he couldn’t complete his final spell was because he didn’t have friends. His journals don’t make mention of them either,” Twilight noted.

“Well, I suppose ‘friend’ might be a strong word for someone who could barely stand social interaction…much like how a certain Unicorn used to be,” Discord teased, “But ultimately he never completed that spell because he was never meant to become an Alicorn. Wasn’t made of the right stuff for Alicornhood, if I had to guess. Although, standards do seem to be shifting, what with two Alicorns being made within a couple decades of each other.” 

“Discord…” Twilight didn’t sound impressed.

“It is not a slight against either of you, merely me noting how odd it is for two unrelated Ponies to Ascend in such close proximity to each other. Sunbutt and Moonbutt were made Alicorns out of necessity and sisters besides,” Discord remarked.

“Necessary?” Tom asked curiously.

“Yes, to move the sun and moon. I certainly wasn’t going to keep doing it forever and the Unicorns could barely muster enough power to do it at all,” Discord noted.

“You used to move the sun and moon? I thought you were the one who made them still in the sky to begin with!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Don’t blame me if you don’t get any sleep tonight,” Discord warned, “I did not cause the sun, moon, and Equuis itself to stop their heavenly dance. As you may have noticed, my thing is Chaos. What could be worse than completely rendering something inert and killing all life on the planet besides? No, it was not I who did it.”

“Then who did?” Cadence was almost afraid to ask.

“When Ponies were still banging rocks together in caves, a great and terrible being obsessed with Order came into our star system. I do not know if it stopped the sun and moon out of boredom, some malicious intent, or if it even had a motive outside of imposing Order on all it came across,” Discord regaled them.

“But couldn’t you have stopped it?” Twilight asked. Discord couldn’t help but chuckle at her naiveté, 

“I may seem all powerful to mortal comprehension, but as much as I hate to admit it, I am but a small fish in a very big pond. After that being left our star system, I only dared to exert my power to move the sun and moon to prevent Equuis from becoming a dead world. Some millennia later, the Tree of Harmony and I came to an agreement. I won’t bore you with the exact details, but we agreed to work together to hide Equuis from most of Creation,” Discord reveled, “It was those millennia of hiding and suppressing myself that lead to my stint as ruler of Equuis. I had gone quite stir crazy, not that that is much of an excuse.”

“Then what were those vines of yours supposed to do?” Tom asked.

“Oh, if you think they were going to kill the Tree, you are very much mistaken. They would have only weakened its foothold in the mortal realm, that crystalline eyesore it uses,” Discord replied.

“Wait, back up, there are things more powerful than you, Discord?” Twilight asked in alarm.

“Yes, things from far-flung worlds and lurking in the depths of the inky void, many beings make me look like a small child. I am only as old as Equuis, after all, which isn’t all that old in the grand scheme of things. Come to it, if one of you Alicorns fully gave yourselves over to that which you represent, you’d at least match my power,” Discord said nonchalantly.

“What?!” The three exclaimed.

“Oh yes. Though your mortal minds are still intact, all four of you, plus Tom, are wreathed in the trappings of goddesshood. It is possible to teach you how to keep your mortal minds while embracing that from which you draw power, but I’m afraid I don’t know how. The Tree and I are Spirits. Greater Spirits, but Spirits nonetheless and have always been as we are from the moment we were created,” Discord said apologetically. 

“So let me get this straight. You and the Tree are working together to protect Equuis and Alicorns are able to use power matching yours at the cost of their minds. There are also beings of untold power lurking beyond the stars. Am I missing anything?” Twilight questioned.

“No, that is a rather succinct summary. If I do say so myself, the Tree and I have done quite a decent job thus far. The only slipup was that incident with the Nightmare,” Discord patted himself on the back.

“I almost don’t want to know, but how was the Nightmare related to keeping Equuis safe from otherworldly threats?” Twilight inquired.

“The Nightmare was an offspring of a Being Tom would know as Nyarlathotep. Of course, I don’t know if it still uses that name. It has been over a thousand years since I’ve had any sort of contact with the ‘outside world’ as it were,” Discord ignored Tom’s look of absolute horror. 

“THEY’RE REAL?!” He finally screeched. Twilight and Cadence looked at him in concern.

“Quite real, although most of that circle of Beings are quite content to mind their own business. On the whole they find mortals dreadfully boring, especially when they could be terrorizing each other,” Discord assured him. 

“Suddenly that training sounds like a wonderful idea,” Tom said, bareing a more than passing resemblance to Twilight when she had panicked over not having a lesson done in time. 

“As I said, I can’t help you. You’d need to find a friendly god or goddess to train you. I’m persona non grata with most of them and good luck getting the Tree to help you. If you’re lucky, it might be some time this century even if it does agree to help.” Discord said with a sigh.

“Come on, everyone; let’s go threaten to chop down a Tree until it agrees to help us right now!” Tom shouted, followed by a hysterical giggling. Discord snapped his claws and cold water poured onto the panicked Human. The shock caused Twilight’s illusion to flicker for a second. 

“Feeling better?” Discord asked dryly.

“I’m fine! I’m fine,” Tom was breathing deeply and heavily, but the mania had left his eyes. 

“Good, even if the Tree did call out to some of her buddies, you still need to be taught, blerg, manners. Some of them do stand on formality and there’s a hierarchy to these things,” Discord seemed repulsed by the very idea of manners, but he was willing to put up with them for friends. 

“There’s a hierarchy? Does that mean there’s someone in charge we can speak with?” Twilight asked hopefully.

“Tom, feel free to field that question,” Discord said.

“What? Why?” Tom asked in confusion.

“I’m not allowed to incite a Religion or any kind of cult. One of my agreements with the Tree. Can you imagine how messy it would’ve gotten if the old me had worshippers?” Discord asked rhetorically and all three could imagine it wouldn’t have been pretty. 

“Well…I believe that there is one God,” Tom started.

“I can neither confirm nor deny,” Discord quickly stated. Tom rolled his eyes.

“He is referenced multiple times as the ‘God of Gods’ in scripture I had thought it was meant to be taken literally, but I didn’t realize how literally before coming to Equestria. I don’t know if it’s actually possible to speak to Him ourselves, like face to face. He usually only appears directly to His Prophets. I do know He answers prayer, though often in subtle ways you don’t expect,” Tom explained.

“Well, what’s his name? Maybe we can ask for an audience?” Twilight questioned.

“He doesn’t really have a name in Scripture. An ancient culture called Him Jehovah, and that’s technically the name He chose for us to refer to Him as, but it’s generally considered more proper to refer to Him as God, Heavenly Father, or The Lord High God. Oh, if you do decide to address Him, it is proper to do so in the name of Jesus Christ. God has three aspects: God the Father, God the Son aka Jesus Christ, and God the Holy Ghost. So you entreaty the Father in the name of the Son,” Tom explained. 

“That’s interesting. Strange, but interesting,” Twilight remarked.

“How do you think I felt when I found out I was inhabiting the body of a goddess?” Tom deadpanned.

“Fair point,” Twilight acceded.

“Don’t think I don’t realize why you put me up to this, Discord,” Tom groused.

“You give me too much credit. You and I both know Twilight wouldn’t rest until she had answers to her question and as I said, I can’t talk Religion. I can only speak of truths already known and observable facts in this matter,” Discord looked like he was about to say something else, but cut himself off. 

“Maybe you should be the one to pray, Tom, as you’re already a devotee?” Cadence suggested. 

“Oh, I’d love to hear an actual prayer from a real Religion!” Twilight exclaimed. 

“I- fine, but not in public. Most people already think Twilight’s crazy enough,” Tom sighed.

“Let’s head back to the library then. No one should be there,” Twilight noted.

“And then we can play some nice, relaxing, mundane board games,” Tom was looking forward to something that would distract him from what he had learned.

The group returned to the library and it was indeed empty. 

“Close your eyes and bow your heads,” Tom instructed quietly. Once they had done so he began.

“Dear Heavenly Father, we thank thee for providing for us and keeping us safe. We know all our trials are meant to bring us closer to you and are thankful for them. Please bless us that in our times of need, we will know the course of action you wish for us to take. We ask that you help our endeavors succeed, that we may have a portion of thy strength to see us through this current problem. Let us be filled with thy spirit, for we know all things are possible in you. In the Name of Jesus Christ, amen.”

Tom was filled with a feeling of serenity he had every time he prayed. He hadn’t realized how much he missed it. Twilight and Cadence hesitantly echoed the amen, but Discord repeated the word solidly. Tom looked at Discord in surprise. 

“What? Just because I can’t talk about Religion doesn’t mean I don’t have my own thoughts on the matter and can’t be respectful of other’s views,” Discord pretended to be offended.

“I would’ve thought you hated organized anything, never mind Religion,” Tom observed.

“In all things there must be opposites. Just because I am an Avatar of Chaos doesn’t mean it’s impossible for me to appreciate a little Order. Why do you think I keep my body mostly the same and not appear as whatever takes my fancy?” Discord defended himself. 

“That is something I hadn’t considered,” Tom admitted.

“So what now?” Cadence asked.

“Right now we play board games. In the long term, we continue with our plan to convince the Tree to reach out to her friends. If that plan needs to be amended or thrown away entirely, we’ll know somehow,” Tom replied. 

“You sound confident,” Cadence noted.

“I am confident,” Tom said with a nod.

“I’d love to learn more about your Religion. A whole new mode of thinking and devotion to one Supreme Being! It’s fascinating just thinking about it,” Twilight gushed.

“I’m not sure I’d be the best teacher. I don’t have all the scriptures memorized-”

“There’s a spell that can help,” Twilight interrupted and Tom glared at her, “Sorry.”

“Even if we had all the scriptures, I’ve had several, ah, heated arguments with my Sunday School teachers over my personal interpretation of scripture. I don’t think I’m worthy to teach anyone something so important,” Tom confessed. 

“Well, let’s read your scriptures together and I can decide for myself if I agree with your interpretation,” Twilight said reasonably. 

“Isn’t that how these things are supposed to work in the first place?” Discord asked as if he didn’t already know.

“I suppose you’re right. But I insist on board games first. After Discord spent the day blowing my mind, and not in a good way, I need something frivolous to focus on,” Tom stated. So they spent the rest of the day before Cadence had to leave playing board games.
> The Betrayal of Loyalty
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 20: The Betrayal of Loyalty


The day was almost here. Rainbow’s heart was thundering in her chest with anticipation, even if the qualifiers didn’t start for two days. She had the best damn team she could ask for and they would show all of Equestria at Rainbow Falls!

She knew the Rainbow Falls events were only for the Pegasus qualifiers, but she was sure Tom, backed up by Twilight, could solo any of the unicorn trials and Applejack, Big Mac, and Bon-Bon were sure to clean up in the Earth Pony events. Was it cheap to bring along an Alicorn to the Games? Maybe, but there was no rule against it and without Tom and Twilight, Ponyville didn’t have enough Unicorns to compete. It was nice of the Elements to all come cheer her team on. It was just a shame the rest of the usual suspects had business to attend to.

Rainbow was just thankful there was no rule forbidding Ponies from running multiple events. As much as Dash was more or less friends with all the Pegasai of Ponyville, she didn’t want to imagine Bulk Biceps trying to compete in any of the Pegasus events. He would’ve been much more suited to Earth Pony events if the Games allowed such a thing. But now Dash was just distracting herself with pointless thoughts. 

As she saw to her team setting up, who should show up but the Wonderbolts, who were flying for Cloudsdale. 

“Hello, Rainbow,” Captain Spitfire greeted amiably.

“Nice to see there’ll be some real competition,” Soarin quipped.

“We may not beat you, but you’ll be in for one heck of a challenge,” Rainbow stated confidently.

“Those Changelings of yours any good at flying?” Fleetfoot asked.

“Us Changelings can be just as fast as any of you Ponies,” Pharynx said coolly.

“Except Rainbow,” Pincer quipped.

“Except Rainbow,” Pharynx agreed. 

“I wouldn’t underestimate the Changelings if I were you, Fleetfoot,” Rainbow warned, “Like they said, they can be just as fast and their insectoid wings give them a good edge in general directional mobility.”

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to see it firsthoof,” Fleetfoot remarked, “See you in the air in two day’s time.”

“We have to get back to practice, catch you later, Dash,” At Spitfire’s signal, the rest of the Wonderbolts took to the air. 

“So cool…” Rainbow couldn’t help but sigh. Then she turned her attention back to her team.

“OK, Cloud Kicker, Fluttershy, and Pharynx, you’ll all be part of the first event, the relay race. I’ll be handling the 50 and 100 meter sprints alongside Cloud Kicker. Derpy, you and Fluttershy are on the acrobatics team. Fluttershy, you and Pincer will be handling the endurance flying. Pharynx, Pincer, and I will finish it off with the 2 mile race. You all know your assignments and we’ve all been working our flanks off preparing for them. I don’t expect us to place first in every event, but I do expect us to make the cut of top four overall. No matter what happens though, I’m proud of all of you. AM I UNDERSTOOD?!”

“YES MA’AM RAINBOW DASH!” Her team shouted back and her heart swelled with pride. 

An hour later, Rainbow called a break. She guided her team over to the Cloudsdale encampment.

“As expected of the Wonderbolts, they are working seamlessly together. See them up there? I know you’re all capable of matching that level flying prowess. I know they’re considered the best flyers in Equestria and my personal heroes, but we’ve got more heart than all of them put together! However, that doesn’t mean we’re not capable of still learning a thing or two. You guys get me?” Rainbow asked.

“Rainbow Dash comparing us to the Wonderbolts? Who’s this soppy mare and what’d you do to the boss?” Cloud Kicker teased. 

“Alright, Kicker, you want soppy? Up in the air and give me ten laps!” Rainbow barked. Cloud went happily, laughing all the while, “I swear, that mare…”

Rainbow turned her attention back to the Cloudsdale group just in time to catch Soarin eating a face full of dirt. Rainbow zipped over to him.

“Yo, are you OK?!” Rainbow asked worriedly as the other Wonderbolts and her team caught up with her.

“I think- ack! Nope, I think I busted my wing,” Soarin moaned as his wing hung limply from his side. He was soon carted off to the medical facility that had been set up. 

“Hopefully it’s just a sprain and he’ll be fine in time for the competition,” Spitfire sighed.

“But if it isn’t, then we won’t be able to get another Wonderbolt to replace him…” Fleetfoot groaned.

“We can’t let Cloudsdale down like that! There’s gotta be something we can do!” Spitfire exclaimed. Then both she and Fleetfoot looked at Rainbow, “Hey, Dash, you were born in Cloudsdale, weren’t you?”

“We could really use a practice buddy while Soarin is on the mend. If it turns out he’s down for the long term, well, as a born Cloudsdale Pegasus, you could fly with us!” Fleetfoot said excitedly. 

“You should do it, Dashie,” Fluttershy spoke up, “It’s always been your dream to fly with the Wonderbolts, even if it is only in practice.”

“We can handle ourselves for a couple of hours and I’ll do my best not to break anything,” Derpy said good naturedly. 

“I’ll keep these riffraff in line, Rainbow Dash, ma’am,” Pharynx promised. 

“Alright, I’ll practice with you until Soarin is better,” Rainbow tried to play it cool, but secretly she was over the moon. 

The next day she was feeling significantly worse. Spitfire had just told her the news. Soarin wasn’t going to be in any shape to fly for the competition. 

“Rainbow, we need you. Cloudsdale needs you. We only brought three Wonderbolts because at most the events only require three Ponies. You brought a full complement of six. They can afford to lose you, we can’t,” Spitfire had begged. 

Rainbow didn’t know what to do. On the one hoof, she had a commitment to her friends and Ponyville to see them through. On the other, Cloudsdale, where she was born and raised, needed her. She couldn’t just abandon either one! That went against her very nature! 

Indecision ate away at her until finally she snapped and did something drastic. She pretended to injure herself. Was it the best solution? No, it still left Cloudsdale without a flyer. But Rainbow wasn’t thinking very clearly. 

Tom and Twilight had seen through the act instantly. Rainbow was very possibly a worse liar than Applejack. When the Elements and the Ponyville team had visited Dash in the medical facility, it turned out Rainbow was sharing a room with Soarin. As they were exiting the room, that was when Tom and Twilight had learned something very interesting.

“Captain Spitfire, a word, if you please,” Tom led Spitfire to a secluded corner to talk, “So, why did you tell Rainbow that Soarin was unable to fly when he was never injured in the first place?” 

“Well- I- uh-” Spitfire stuttered. 

“The truth, Captain, or I’ll be very…displeased,” Tom nearly growled. Spitfire sighed in defeat.

“The truth is gonna require a bit of a story. Just know all we’ve done has been under orders,” Spitfire began.

“Orders? Who can order around the Captain of the Wonderbolts?” Tom asked.

“I’ll get to that. So, this story starts a few years back. I had just been promoted to Captain and in the course of my duties, I sorted the applications to the Wonderbolts. When I read Rainbow’s application, the enthusiasm she had for the ‘Bolts shone like the sun itself. Even if she was half the flyer she is, I would have still taken her into basic training in a heartbeat. That passion is something precious. Unfortunately, it wasn’t up to me,” Spitfire said bitterly.

“I thought you are the one who accepts new recruits?” Tom asked.

“Nope, I only do the initial screening. Even if the Wonderbolts isn’t technically a military organization anymore, there’s still a rank above me: General. It’s the general who gets the final say on who gets into the Wonderbolts. When the general read Rainbow’s application, he denied it so fast your head would spin. At the time, I had no idea why. It would be about a year and a half and several more applications from Rainbow, each holding that same passion, before I got answers,” Spitfire’s face turned stormy.

“I take it those answers weren’t satisfying?” Tom knew the answer just from the look on her face.

“Damn straight they weren’t! General Wind Rider, that’s his name, had somehow found out Rainbow had done a Sonic Rainboom as a filly and that’s why he was denying her!” Spitfire snarled.

“What kind of backwards logic is that? I would think the Wonderbolts would be frothing at the mouth to induct someone who performed the Rainboom at such a young age!” Spitfire just laughed hollowly.

“As Wind Rider’s gotten older, he’s become more and more obsessed with making sure his flying records stand, and I quote, ‘forever’. He knows the instant Rainbow joins the Wonderbolts she’ll smash his records without breaking a sweat,” Spitfire said angrily.

“You do realize that’s abuse of power and will see him stripped of his position, correct?” Tom checked.

“I know. That’s why we were doing what we were here at Rainbow Falls. Wind Rider ordered us to stage Soarin getting hurt in order to lure Dash into joining the Cloudsdale team. I’m guessing he planned to use the scandal of Dash choosing us over her friends to ruin her. Pitting her loyalty to her friends against her loyalty to the place where her parents live and she grew up along with making her think that without her Cloudsdale couldn’t compete…it’s despicable is what it is,” Spitfire growled softly.

“So why are you telling me this now instead of telling someone when you first learned of Wind Rider’s corruption?” Tom asked at Twilight’s behest.

“Wind Rider is my great uncle,” Spitfire confessed, “But I just…I can’t keep covering for him. I’m willing to do a lot for family, but he’s officially crossed the line.”

Tom closed his eyes and listened to Twilight’s input on the matter before speaking.

“Regardless of if it’s a little late; I thank you for telling me the truth about Wind Rider. I’ll get in contact with the proper Ponies and have him removed. You do realize you will suffer some sanctions for your complicity, correct?” Tom asked gently.

“I know. I hoped Wind Rider would go back to how I remember him being as a filly. More fool me, I guess. I’m willing to take any punishment you deem necessary, Princess. Just leave Fleetfoot and Soarin out of it, they were just following orders,” Spitfire requested. 

“Your concern for those that serve under you does you credit and will be noted when a punishment is ultimately decided. For now, I have the unenviable job of telling Rainbow that her heroes tried to betray her,” Tom suddenly felt very weary. 

“No, I’ll tell her face to face. I owe her that much and so much more,” Spitfire decided her face filled with resolve. They returned to the room where Rainbow and Soarin were staying.

“Captain! I’d stand and salute, but, uh-“

“Drop the act, Soarin. I’ve spilled the beans to Princess Sparkle,” Spitfire told him. 

“What do you mean, ‘drop the act’?” Rainbow was confused. 

“I was never hurt in the first place,” Soarin admitted, looking anywhere but at Rainbow.

“WHAT?!” Rainbow shouted.

“You can drop the act too, Rainbow. No one bought the wounded puppy act anyway,” Tom said and Rainbow grimaced. Both Pegasai took off their fake bandages. 

“So does anyone want to tell me why Soarin was pretending to be hurt?” Rainbow questioned. 

“Soarin, go find Fleetfoot, tell her the jig is up,” Spitfire ordered Soarin and he was happy to leave before Rainbow learned the truth.

Spitfire explained everything to Rainbow. She hated herself as she watched Rainbow’s expression turn from confused to heartbroken. Maybe if she had done something sooner, the blow wouldn’t have hit as hard, but she could play the ‘maybe’ game all day. She had done what she had done and now she had to live with it. 

“I wouldn’t blame you if you decide you don’t want to be a ‘Bolt. We don’t deserve somepony like you,” Spitfire finished sadly.

“No, you don’t,” Rainbow agreed with equal sadness, “But Wind Rider is getting kicked out, and so I will still join the Wonderbolts. I’ll become the general and make sure as long as I have something to say about it, something like this will never happen again!”

The fiery conviction of Rainbow’s words left Spitfire speechless. She just sat there for a moment, mouth open in surprise.

“I look forward to seeing that, Rainbow Dash,” Spitfire said when she finally found her voice. On an impulse, she removed her captain’s badge and gave it over to Rainbow, “You deserve this far more than I ever will. One day, it’ll even be official.”



When all was said and done, Team Ponyville had tied for first place with Team Cloudsdale. No one had been shocked when Ponyville’s celebrations lasted deep into the night. When they returned home they were hailed as heroes. Rainbow was still hurt by the Wonderbolt’s betrayal, but she could and would use that hurt to propel her. From adversity greatness is born.
> Just Another Day
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 21: Just Another Day


Spitfire was a mare on a mission. She had been offered a surprising amount of leniency if she helped with the arrest of Wind Rider. Spitfire suspected Princess Sparkle had something to do with it, even if privately she felt she deserved a harsher punishment. She was flanked by two guards as she came to a stop outside Wind Rider’s office. She opened the door and walked in without even knocking.

“Spits? What’s going on?” Wind Rider asked from behind his desk.

“There he is, officers,” Spitfire said quietly. The pair moved to flank Wind Rider.

“Wind Rider, you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to talk to a lawyer and have him or her present with you while you are being questioned. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed to represent you before any questioning if you wish. You can decide at any time to exercise these rights and not answer any questions or make any statements. Do you understand these rights as I have explained them to you? Having these rights in mind, do you wish to talk to us now?” One of the officers read out the Mareanda Rights with a cool professionalism, even as Wind Rider protested his arrest.

“Arrest on what charges?!” Wind Rider demanded.

“Abuse of authority and conspiracy to commit defamation of character,” The other guard answered in a clipped tone. 

“I would never do such a thing, there must be some mistake!” Wind Rider protested.

“Sir, we are only executing a warrant for your arrest. You will be questioned down at the station pending a trial to determine your guilt."

“You can’t do this to me! I’m the General of the Wonderbolts! I AM THE WONDERBOLTS! I will have your badge for this! Get your hooves off me!” Wind Rider made the mistake of trying to free himself from the guards. They had a firm grip on before, but his sudden flopping about like a fish ended when Wind Rider’s hoof solidly thwacked one of the guards in the face. The other guard instantly had Wind Rider pinned on the ground.

“Your resisting arrest will be noted and you’ll be lucky to dodge assault charges,” Spitfire could see in his eyes he was angry, but his tone belied none of it. His partner used no more force to keep Wind Rider pinned than needed. Spitfire personally wouldn’t have minded if they roughed the bastard up a bit, but she knew that wasn’t exactly legal. 

The guards cuffed him, restrained his wings, and frog marched Wind Rider out to the carriage they had arrived in. Spitfire watched as they forced him into the cell built into the back and didn’t look away until they were out of her eyesight. Spitfire knew she shouldn’t feel bad for him, so why was she crying?



Pinkie Pie was on a mission. Honestly, she was ashamed of herself for not getting to it sooner. As she stalked her way towards Golden Oaks Library, Pinkie had only one goal in mind: Find out Tom’s birthday!

He had already been living here for two months! She couldn’t throw him the Welcome to Ponyville party he deserved, what with him being mostly a secret at the time, but how could she be so negligent as to forget to ask his birthday?! As a Premiere Party Planner, she was mortally offended by her own actions! If only she could get Discord to teach her how to make copies of herself, so she could declare an honor duel on Pinkie Pie. 

Pinkie entered the library with her usual level of exuberance, streamers and all.

“TOM!” She shouted.

“WHAT?!” Tom shouted back, not even looking up from whatever book he was reading. She slithered up to him.

“I was wondering if you’d tell me your birthday~” Pinkie said with a smile.

“Dang it,” Moon Dancer lamented.

“I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later,” Tom sighed. Twilight was just smirking like the cat that caught the canary.

“What? What’s wrong?” Pinkie asked.

“We had a bet going on how long it would take you to actually remember I’m not Twilight long enough to ask for my birthday. Twilight was closest, so she gets the pot,” Tom grumbled. 

“And what a pot it is! Thanks Pinkie!” Twilight chirped. 

“Um, you’re welcome, Twilight! Sorry for your loss, Tom and Moon Dancer…So, about that birthday..?” Pinkie asked hesitantly.

“January 9th 1997. Not that I expect that means much to you,” Tom sighed. The names of Equestrian months were similar to those back home, but Pony-fied and the New Year started in their equivalent of March with the Winter Wrap Up. 

“Oh, so you’re a Capricorn born in the Year of the Rat, huh? I get you; I’ll have a super party ready for you to make up for your lackluster Welcome to Ponyville!” Tom favored her with a flat look.

“I really shouldn’t be surprised. I really, truly shouldn’t. Yet somehow, I am,” Tom sighed heavily. Pinkie just smiled at him and pronked out the door.

“Capricorn? Year of the Rat?” Twilight asked curiously.

“I’ve told you the stars back home don’t move at all. So all the constellations are permanent and cycle through the night sky on a yearly basis. Some of these constellations are called the Zodiac and are given special significance in relation to which one is intersecting with the Celestial Equator. They’re supposed to have the ability to foretell the general demeanor of a child born under that sign and general guidelines for their path in life. Capricorn is one of the Zodiac Signs,” Tom explained. Moon Dancer was listening in on the conversation as well.

“‘Supposed to’? What do you think of them personally, Tom?” Twilight asked.

“I’ve gone back and forth over my life. My current thoughts are, while we may not have Princess Luna to move the stars, they were set in place purposefully, so I can’t imagine them being utterly pointless. I just think some people give the Zodiac way too much credit and reverence. Sure, I’ve met more than a few fellow Capricorns and it can be downright spooky how similar our thought processes can be sometimes, but I haven't exactly gathered a large enough sample size to determine anything.” Tom replied.

“And the Year of the Rat?” Moon Dancer questioned.

“As with the Zodiac, it is supposed to predict one’s nature. However, that’s somewhat of a more modern spin. The original myth the Chinese Zodiac, which is what the Year of the Rat is part of, states the original purpose of it was to give the people of ancient China a way by which to determine the year of their birth. As for the myth itself, the most common version states that a great ruler called upon twelve animals to come to him to celebrate something or other. The order in which they arrived was the order in which they would appear in the new calendar. The specifics of the myth differ from region to region, some of which indicate the animals were fighting each other and were told to settle their differences through a race, but each animal displayed a character trait that would later be associated with those born in the year of that animal. For this example, The Rat was first to arrive or win the race by way of clever thinking and in some tellings, a few dirty tricks. So children born in the Year of the Rat are supposed to be quick witted,” Tom lectured.

“That’s pretty interesting,” Twilight remarked as Moon Dancer jotted down notes.

“The Chinese Zodiac I put zero stock in. As I said, the original myth and purpose of the Chinese Zodiac was simply a way to tell years apart. The personality bit came later. Truthfully, there is some evidence that suggests that even before the Chinese Zodiac was developed, Chinese astronomers kept track of the years by using the twelve year orbit of a planet called Jupiter in my home solar system. That’s why there are twelve animals in the myth: Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Sheep, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, and Pig.” Tom continued.

“Huh, did anyone on Equuis go through so much trouble to keep track of the years before Discord’s reign?” Twilight idly wondered.

“Maybe we can ask him later, on the very big assumption he even paid attention to such things,” Moon Dancer suggested.

“I’m glad my degree isn’t going totally to waste,” Tom snarked. 

“I’m sure you would’ve made a wonderful teacher to anyone who passed through your classroom,” Twilight assured him.

“Once this is all over, I think I’ll study for a teaching license here in Equestria. Even if people will be begging me for attention regardless of if I accept the offer of royalty or not, I still want to teach,” Tom confessed.

“Well, you’ll have plenty of free advertising. ‘First non-royal Alicorn offers to teach the foals’! The papers will eat it up,” Moon Dancer wisely left any gender pronouns out of her teasing.
> Party Prep
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 22: Party Prep


The day was overcast and there was a downpour scheduled for later that day, but that did little to dampen Pinkie Pie’s spirits. She had things to do and people to see before the day was out! Rainbow Dash’s Birthday/Anniversary Bash was tomorrow! She had to make sure everything was perfect! That meant starting with the music!

So that’s why Pinkie was approaching a cottage on the outskirts of town. It was a modest affair, but seemingly split down the middle by two different colors of stone. Even the door was painted to be split down the middle. Pinkie could feel the wubs even from a few meters out. Knowing Vinyl was probably working, Pinkie just let herself in.

“Hey Vinyl!” Pinkie tried to call out over the music, “Vinyl! VINYL SCRATCH!”

It was no use. Vinyl had her eyes closed, headphones on, and was securely in her own little world. This called for drastic measures! So Pinkie slinked up beside Vinyl and pulled one side of her headphones off.

“Hey there, pretty filly,” Pinkie whispered directly into Vinyl’s ear in the must sultry voice she could muster. Her reward was Vinyl nearly jumping out of her skin.

“SHIT! Pinkie, don’t do that!” The white Unicorn swore.

“I did call you three times and told you I’d be showing up around now,” Pinkie pointed out. Vinyl shot a glance at a hanging clock.

“Oh…well, my bad, I guess,” Vinyl said as she rubbed at the ear Pinkie had whispered into. 

“So, do you know what you’ll be playing?” Pinkie asked intently.

“Yeah, you actually caught me finishing up the last track. Everything’s gonna be perfect Pinkster! Octy’s even gonna be in town for once,” Vinyl said happily.

“Aww, yeah, OctiScratch together again!” Pinkie cheered. 

“Before I forget, Twilight and I have something special planned for later on in the party. Twilight wanted me to give you a heads up,” Vinyl informed Pinkie.

“Really? What are you planning?” Pinkie asked curiously.

“Can’t tell, top secret stuff. You’ll appreciate it more if you don’t know ahead of time anyway,” Vinyl promised. Now Pinkie was really curious. If Vinyl said Twilight that meant Tom was plotting something. Well, Pinkie supposed that there was an outside chance he was helping Twilight with some nefarious plan. If she wasn’t as busy as she was, she’d hunt him down and squeeze him for answers. 

“Alright, I’ll trust that you two aren’t planning to give rise to Midnight Sparkle or something during Dashie’s party. I’ve got places to be, so tell Octavia I said hello when you see her!” Pinkie said happily. 

“If Twilight can become the Princess of Friendship, then I will become Princess of Wubs! The Dubstep shall last forever!” Vinyl vowed melodramatically, “See you later, Pinks.”

Pinkie couldn’t help but giggle as she left Vinyl’s and Octavia’s shared home. Vinyl was always fun and after Octavia had forgiven her for the Triple G, Octavia had proven to have a sense of humor as well. Why the pair had moved to Ponyville in the first place was still a topic of debate among the local gossips. All Pinkie knew was that Vinyl placed the ‘blame’ on Octavia and Octavia did likewise. Pinkie, for her part, after getting to know both mares, suspected they both were secretly hoping to be embroiled in one of Ponyville’s famous adventures.

Next on her list was the Flower Triplets. They, of course, were in charge of the flower arrangements for the event. Pinkie didn’t think a visit with them was strictly necessary, but knowing their habit of freaking out over every little thing, Pinkie would feel better knowing they were on track.

“Pinkie, The Horror! The Horror!” Roseluck shouted as soon as she spotted the party mare.

“I’m not that ugly, am I?” Pinkie teased.

“What? No, you’re lovely as ever. What I’m talking about is we ordered the purple roses and they gave us PINK!” Lily Valley slumped to the ground in a faux faint as Roseluck finished her sentence.

“Give me one of them,” Pinkie requested. It was always strange to be the sensible one in the room. Daisy hoofed one of the offending roses to Pinkie and she ate it. 

“See? It’s the worst possible thing!” Daisy wailed. Pinkie swallowed.

“It’ll be fine. I haven’t bought the decorations yet. I can still get ones that match better with pink than purple. The taste isn’t too different, I doubt Dashie will even notice,” Pinkie assured the sisters. 

“Are you sure?” Lily asked, not daring to hope.

“Sure I’m sure!” Pinkie chirped, “I’m always sure when it comes to planning parties, you three know that.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” Roseluck sighed.

“Anything else I should know about?” Pinkie prompted.

“The daisy arrangements were slightly wilted, but Amethyst will be able to fix that right up,” Once again it struck Pinkie as odd what caused the Flower Triplets to panic and what they took like champs. 

“Well, I still have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep. See you three later!” Pinkie bid the trio farewell.

“Bye Pinkie!” The three chorused and Pinkie walked away.

Next up on her list was the catering, which was being handled jointly by Sugar Cube Corner and Bon Bon *coughAgentSweetieDropscough*.  Since Pinkie worked and lived at Sugar Cube Corner, she already knew their preparations were ready. So all she had to do was stop by Bon Bon’s place. Pinkie walked in and saw Lyra was manning the counters.

“Hey, Lyra, where’s your better half?” Pinkie asked innocently.

“She’s not my marefriend!” Lyra instantly replied.

“I never said anything about marefriends,” Pinkie knew she shouldn’t but it was just so easy to tease the two of them, “But, I mean, I didn’t know “just best friends” these days had se-” Suddenly she found Lyra’s hoof in her mouth. The mint green Unicorn was glaring at her. Pinkie thought it was worth it.

“Bonnie’s in the back. Comment again on how we spend our free time together and I’ll light your tail on fire,” Lyra threatened.

“Oh, Lyra, what would Bonnie say if she heard you talking dirty to me~?” If Lyra had gone through with even half of her threats Pinkie wouldn’t have a hair left on her body. 

“She’d say to stop tormenting the poor filly,” Commented Bon Bon, who had appeared in the doorway. 

“Me? Tormenting Lyra? I’m not into that kind of play, but if you’re offering…” Pinkie waggled her eyebrows. Bon Bon blushed prettily. 

“For the love of Celestia, why is it only us you can’t stop making lewd comments around?! You’re not like this around Vinyl and Octavia,” Bonnie whined. 

“Comparing yourselves to one of Ponyville’s top power couples? Is there something you’re hiding? Eh, I just do it because you make it so easy and even Laughter sometimes just wants junk food,” Pinkie shrugged. 

“Okay…everything will be ready by tomorrow. I trust that will be all? I’m not of a mind to deal with The Pink One for much longer,” Unlike Lyra, Pinkie knew Bon Bon could and would take something she cared about: Bonnie’s spectacular confections. Bonnie had done so in the past and it had been torturous. So she headed out the door with all due haste, catching sight of Lyra and Bonnie nuzzling each other through the storefront window.

“‘Just friends’, riiiiiiiight,” Pinkie snickered to herself. Lyra and Bonnie’s “just best friends cuddling” was the worst kept secret in Ponyville. Who they were trying to fool, she doubted even Discord knew. In any event, there was one last stop to make and if she hurried, she’d just beat the scheduled cloudburst. 

Soon, Pinkie was outside the Changeling Hive and quickly tracked down Pharynx. 

“I want to let you know I’m thankful for you offering the services of you and your brothers for crowd control tomorrow. I don’t think we’ll need it, it is Ponyville, but the gesture is nice,” Pinkie told him.

“Of course, it’s Rainbow Dash’s birthday. Anything less would be criminal,” Pinkie strongly suspected the Changeling was crushing on RD. Whether he realized his feelings or had the courage to act on them were different matters entirely. Pinkie thought it was adorable, but chose not to bring it up with Pharynx. Getting two tsunderes together was a monumental task in and of itself. No need to make it worse with teasing. 

They exchanged a few more pleasantries, talking about Pharynx’s training and her plans for the party itself before Pinkie excused herself. She wanted to get home before the rain started and had a Party Canon to recalibrate besides. Tomorrow was going to be AMAZING!
> A Party, a Pony, and a Prank
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 23: A Party, a Pony, and a Prank


The day was finally upon them. Rainbow Dash’s Birthaversary! Pinkie couldn’t contain herself. She burst into a Heartsong as she got the last of the supplies needed and started the final setup of the party. Vinyl and Octavia were standing by with their instruments of choice, Bonnie and Lyra had delivered the goods and were currently totally not making out behind Sugar Cube Corner, and the Flower Triplets were positively serene. 

If the Changelings thought Ponyville was full of love before, it had nothing on the sheer outpouring of neighborly love and support that united the whole of Ponyville for Rainbow. Pinkie just loved it when a party plan came together. 

“Rainbow Dash, I hereby swear to you that this will be the best Birthaversary in the history of all of Equuis! So mote it be, as your pink party planner!” Pinkie swore.

“Somehow hearing Pinkie invoke ritual phrases isn’t making me tremble in barely realized existential fear. I must be getting far too used to Ponyville,” Tom snarked. 

“There are worse fates,” Twilight couldn’t keep a smile off her own face.

“I really appreciate what you’re doing Pinkie,” Rainbow said earnestly.

“There’s no party like a Pinkie party!” Pinkie and Rainbow cheered together. 

“And they will never forget…never,” Pinkie started cackling like a super villain. It spoke volumes that no one felt the need to comment on it, “So, who wants to help me put the finishing touches out before the party?”

“I will,” An unknown voice called out. All heads snapped towards the speaker. He was dressed like a desperado from an old Wild West flick and had a party horn in his mouth. 

“Who are you, stranger?” Pinkie asked.

“Name’s Cheese Sandwich,” Cheese replied and Tom’s ears flickered at the familiar sounding voice. Was that..? Did Cheese sound exactly like “Weird Al” Yankovic? Just when he thought he was getting used to Equestria’s bizarreness, “I plan parties.”

“What an amazing coincidence! I’m Pinkie Pie and I plan parties too! In fact, I’m planning a party right now!” Pinkie chirped. 

“Oh, it’s no coincidence, my little pony,” Cheese assured, “My Cheesy Sense was a tingling.” Twilight suddenly developed an eye twitch. 

“Not another one,” She groaned quietly. 

“Deep breaths, Twilight. No need to freak out again,” Fluttershy comforted her friend. Twilight wanted to make a snide remark about how Tom was in control of her lungs and thus she couldn’t take a deep breath, but thought better of it. Fluttershy didn't deserve that. Twilight had survived Pinkie thus far. A visitor of a similar inclination wasn’t going to hurt anything. After all, Pinkie and Discord were able to coexist without all of spacetime collapsing around their ears. 

“Hey, you have a Cheesy Sense? What a serendipitous happenstance, I have a Pinkie Sense!” Pinkie cheered. 

“Yes. I sensed you did,” Cheese said mysteriously. The eye twitch intensified. 

“Well, he certainly has the mysterious stranger bit down pat,” Rarity remarked. 

“I am the premier party pony in all of Equestria,” Cheese claimed, “If there’s a party in need, there I’ll be! Be it wingding, hoedown, hootenanny, or shindig, I’m your pony.”

“A pair of possibly perfect pony party planners in Ponyville? What could be better?!” Pinkie squealed. 

“I dunno, the party is today…would you even have time to help out?” Rainbow asked.

“Time is no constraint for one such as I. Say the word and I’ll make this party perfect,” Cheese promised. 

“Alright, Cheese, you talk a good game. Let’s see if you can put your money where your mouth is!” Rainbow challenged.

“I’ve never worked with another party pony! This’ll be great!” Pinkie exclaimed. 

“Oh, it won’t be great…It’ll be fandabulrific!” Cheese threw off his desperado outfit and broke into a song about how he had come to be a party planner. 

It wasn’t a Heartsong, but somehow everyone got caught up in Cheese’s excitement anyway. The only one who suddenly seemed less excited was Pinkie Pie. 

“Pinkie’s parties are fun and sweet and everything, but with you here Cheese, this party is gonna be-”

“Epic?” Cheese suggested.

“Yeah! No offense, Pinks,” Rainbow said quickly. 

“Oh, none taken,” Pinkie said as she quickly hid her tears. Once everyone had moved along, Pinkie sadly walked away. 

About half an hour later the party prep was well underway, but a certain pink mare had been missing. Everyone was concerned for her, so Tom and Twilight were elected to go find her. It wasn’t like Pinkie to miss out on a party. 

It didn’t take much searching for the pair to find Pinkie pretending to be watering flowers outside of Sugar Cube Corner.

“Pinkie, aren’t you going to help with the party?” Twilight asked.

“That’s OK! Cheese obviously has what it takes to do it all by himself! After all, he’s doing everything in just a few short hours! I couldn’t do something like that!” Pinkie said with clearly forced cheer.

“Pinkie, you do realize he’s just building on your groundwork, yeah? Most of everything was already in place. He’s just adding some personal touches,” Tom pointed out.

“It’s fine! Everything is fine! You don’t need a boring mare like me holding Cheese down!” Tom and Twilight shared a look. 

“Pinkie, we can both tell everything is not fine,” Twilight started.

“I’d like to think between me and Twilight, mostly Twilight, that we know you well enough to be able to tell when something is wrong. Come on Pinks, spill,” Tom almost begged.

“Rainbow has made her choice clear. I just want her to have the best Birthaversary ever. If she thinks she can find that with Cheese, then that’s fine,” Pinkie said, despite her watering eyes. If things were less serious, Tom would’ve probably made a crack about Pinkie sounding like she was losing Dash as a lover. But things were serious so he restrained himself. 

“Pinkie, you do know that if you asked, Rainbow would drop Cheese in a heartbeat,” Twilight said softly.

“I don’t want to abuse our friendship like that. I just…oh, look at the time! I have a dentist appointment at the doctor’s office! See you two later!” Pinkie zipped off.

With her escape from Tom and Twilight made good, Pinkie stopped to consider. What would she do if she didn’t have parties anymore? Cheese clearly had a monopoly on the things, so she would have to find something else to do with herself. 

Pinkie spent a couple of hours wandering around town, trying her hoof at different things. None of them felt right. Defeated, she returned home. There she saw the pictures on the wall. All of her past parties, starting from the very first with her family when she was just a filly. Suddenly a fire lit in her belly.

She was Pinkamena Diane Pie! Parties were her life and Soul! Making people happy was her creed and her joy! She wouldn’t give it up without a heck of a fight! She donned her battle gear and walked out the door, intent on confronting Cheese Sandwich. 

“Freeze Cheese!” Pinkie shouted upon spotting her rival party planner, “I challenge you TO A GOOF OFF!” Everyone gasped in the appropriate manner, even if none of them were quite sure what a Goof Off was. 

“I’ve been the best in the business for a long time, Pinkie. Are you sure you want to challenge me to a Goof Off?” Cheese challenged.

“Your days of tyranny are over, Cheese Sandwich! I will be crowned the new Queen of Parties!” Pinkie exclaimed. 

“We’ll just see about that. The stakes?” Cheese asked.

“The winner will be dubbed the Super Duper Ultimate Equestria Level Party Planner and headline the Rainbow Dash Birthaversary!” Pinkie shouted.

“And the loser?” Twilight asked.

“Doesn’t,” Pinkie growled. Everyone gasped again, “So, are you in Cheese? Or are you…boneless?” 

“Nobody calls me boneless! Right, Boneless?” Cheese asked of his rubber chicken companion. 

“Then the Goof Off is on for High Noon!” Pinkie declared.

“Pinkie, Noon was three hours ago,” Applejack pointed out. 

“Oh, well make it 3:10 then!” And so the stage was set. Ten minutes later, everyone was gathered in Town Square to watch the Goof Off.

“Why is Pinkie even challenging Cheese to a Goof Off in the first place?” Rainbow quietly asked Tom and Twilight after Tom had read out the rules. Both looked at her.

“I guess she seems to think you’ve abandoned her in favor of Cheese,” Tom shrugged.

“What? Why would she…oh…oh no. I’ve gotta-” But it was too late. The Goof Off had begun and suddenly Reality was breaking in ways that made Discord seem sensible. Giant wheels of cheese were rolling every which way, Pinkie was blowing square bubbles, and somehow Boneless was dancing about without anyone or anything touching it. 

Then Cheese crossed a line and started singing one of Pinkie’s Heartsongs. Pinkie took great offense to that. Suddenly Rainbow was getting blasted about by progressively bigger party cannons that were being aimed at the opposing Goofs. Somehow or another Rainbow wound up dunked in the biggest fish tank she had ever seen. She still had to clear things up with Pinkie!

“STOP!” Pinkie suddenly bellowed, “The Goof Off is off!” Privately Rainbow was relieved. She didn’t know how much more she could take. 

“But I haven’t declared a winner,” Rainbow Dash said out loud. 

“You don’t have to. I forfeit. Cheese Sandwich wins,” Pinkie said sadly.

“Wait!” Rainbow shouted, “Pinkie, this whole thing is my fault! I didn’t…what I mean to say is…ARGH; you know I put my hoof in my mouth sometimes! What I meant before when I was talking about your parties was that I thought having Cheese help you would add an extra zing. I didn’t mean I wanted to replace you with Cheese or something silly like that! You throw the best parties, everyone in Ponyville knows that! You’re the Element of Laughter! I’d have to be crazier than Discord to want to replace you!”

“You…you mean it?” Pinkie asked hesitantly.

“Yes I mean it, you silly filly!” Rainbow exclaimed before pulling one of her best friends in for a hug. 

“Rainbow Dash is right,” Cheese spoke up, “I never meant to make you feel inferior or unwanted. I was just so excited to work with the Pinkie Pie I kinda let myself get carried away. For that, I am truly sorry. Truthfully, you’re the one who inspired me to become a party planner all those years ago when I saw you throwing a party right here in Ponyville.”

“See, Pinkie? Everyone loves you! Now, what do you two say to working together like we should’ve been this whole time?” Rainbow asked with a smile.

“That sounds-”

“Absolutely perfect,” Pinkie and Cheese said together. 

Two hours later and the Party of the Century was finally underway. It was everything anyone could ever hope for and so much more. There was singing, dancing, games, a rollercoaster, a giant punch bowl to swim in. just about anything you could imagine. 

Cheese, in keeping with his ‘mysterious stranger’ motif, had gifted Pinkie with Boneless before walking off into the sunset after Rainbow had thanked him for his part in making it the best Birthaversary ever. Everyone was sad to see him go, but his calling was as a traveling party pony. He would just be unhappy if he were forced to stay in one place. 

That didn’t mean the party was over when Cheese left, oh no. People were still having fun as day turned into twilight and into early evening. Then Tom got up on stage.

“Attention everyone! I know present time was thirty minutes ago, but there is one last thing I have to give Rainbow. It is something that doesn’t come in a box or bag. It cannot be bought or sold, but that doesn’t diminish its value. It honestly has been long overdue in the giving. I can think of no better way to give this gift than through song. Hit it Vinyl!”

Tom and Vinyl both lit up their horns and an unfamiliar melody started playing. Then Tom opened his mouth and started to sing. 

Rainbow was sure this couldn’t be happening. She had to have fallen asleep in the punch bowl or something. She had to be feverish! There was no way Tom…or maybe Twilight had put him up to this? That might be worse. There was no way they were singing a love song to her! Then the ukulele cut off and Tom flew up to where Rainbow was flapping slack jawed. He looked her straight in the eyes.

“We love you, Dashie~” Tom's voice was subdued yet flirty and he was blushing prettily. The look in his eyes was hesitant and hopeful at the same time. Rainbow’s flight response kicked in and she was suddenly gone. 

She didn’t hear Vinyl or Tom start to crack up. She didn’t see them wiping tears of laughter from their eyes. 

“Dude, how did you do that with a straight face?! I had to duck under my turntables half way!” Vinyl said through her laughter.

“Vinyl…” Octavia growled at her marefriend. 

“Don’t be too hard on her, I put her up to it,” Tom tried to defend his partner in crime, but the huge smirk on his face sort of defeated his attempts. 

“And what exactly brought this about, hm?” Rarity asked. 

“Rainbow decided it would be a good idea to tease certain people about their lack of love life for days on end. As if she’s one to talk, the filthy hypocrite. Anyway, we decided that Rainbow deserved a little bit of…revenge.” Tom couldn’t stop himself. He broke off into a full blown Mad Scientist Laugh. 

“And Twilight went along with it?” Applejack asked in a hushed tone. Tom snorted.

“Twilight’s the one who suggested we get back at Dash by flirting with her. I just graduated it to a full blown prank with Vinyl’s help using a song I remembered from back home,” Tom replied happily. 

“Well, I can’t exactly say I condone such behavior, but if Rainbow was really making such a pest of herself, then I think I can let this one slide,” Rarity finally decided. 

"Do you usually remember sappy love songs?" Moon Dancer teased.

"You'd be surprised by the sheer volume and variety of songs and music I have cataloged in my brain. Listening to a playlist of music while reading Shakespeare and other plays was one of my favorite pastimes as a teenager," Tom said lightly. One of the many things he missed about Earth was Pandora. 

“That was a top tier prank, you two! Vinyl was right when she said I'd appreciate it more in the dark! But you do realize you might’ve just started a prank war with Dashie, right?” Pinkie asked.

“I trust Dash to have enough of a self-preservation instinct to not get into a prank war with an Alicorn and a sufficiently motivated Human. If, however, she doesn’t have such an instinct, well, Twilight and I have…contingencies,” More of the Mad Scientist Laugh. It was a good day to be alive!
> Mental Shadows
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess and a Mistake


Chapter 24: Mental Shadows


“I hate you,” Rainbow sulked. It was the morning after Rainbow’s Birthaversary. Sometime between the prank and now, Rainbow had realized she had, in fact, been pranked. Rainbow was making her displeasure known by pouting up a storm. Tom thought it looked adorable. 

“If lies make you happy,” Rainbow somehow started pouting even more. Tom was sure she was about to hit critical pouting mass. Actually, knowing how crazy Equuis was, that might actually be a real thing. Or at the very least, Discord could probably make it a thing.

However, before he could give voice to his thoughts, Moon Dancer came stumbling down the stairs. Tom caught one look at her face and knew something was very wrong. Moon Dancer had clearly been crying and she looked so very, very lost. 

“Tom, Twilight, I- I-,” She couldn’t even finish her sentence.

“Moon Dancer, what’s wrong?” Spike asked with great concern.

“Rainbow, take Spike and go get breakfast at Sugar Cube,” Tom ordered.

“What? No! Moon Dancer needs help, I’m not gonna-”

“Rainbow, please,” Twilight begged, “The best way you can help Moon Dancer is by letting Tom and I take care of her. To do that, we need to talk about some sensitive things.”

“Alright. Come on Spike,” Rainbow chose to trust her friends and snatched up Spike to take him out for breakfast. Once they were gone, Tom and Twilight moved to comfort Moon Dancer.

“Moon Dancer, tell us what’s wrong,” Twilight requested softly. Moon Dancer was trembling and she didn’t answer right away. Tom and Twilight were patient with her and eventually she spoke.

“I woke up this morning and I was feeling pretty bad. It wasn’t a sick feeling, just, like I didn’t want to get out of bed. I forced myself to get up and went to the bathroom. I was just brushing my teeth when I- when I- I wanted to stab myself in the eye with my toothbrush!” Moon Dancer lost what little composure she had. She started trembling violently and tears flowed freely. Tom pulled her in for a hug.

“We’re proud of you for coming to us with this,” Twilight whispered gently.

“But why? I was doing better!” Moon Dancer wailed.

“Yes, you’ve been on the upswing since coming to live with us, but as much as I hate to say it, that doesn’t mean you’re cured. You’re still going to have bad days. You know you can come to us with anything, right? It doesn’t matter if it’s the dead of night or whatever. If you need us, we’ll be there for you,” Tom promised.

“You should just have me committed. I’m not safe and you can’t watch me 24/7,” Moon Dancer sadly stated.

“Is that what you really want, Moon Dancer?” Twilight asked seriously. 

“You didn’t actually try to stab yourself, right? How strong was the thought to do so?” Tom questioned.

“The thought of being committed still scares me,” Moon Dancer confessed, “It was just a passing thought, but it scared me so badly.”

“Then we won’t commit you unless that’s what you really want,” Twilight told her, “We can’t involuntarily commit you unless you actually try to commit suicide or threaten to do so, as you still have the capability of consent.”

“Can I…can I talk it over with Fluttershy?” Moon Dancer asked. 

“Of course,” Tom said simply, “Do you want something to eat first, or do you want to go now?”

“I don’t think I can stomach food right now,” Moon Dancer admitted.

So the trio walked out to Fluttershy’s house, a comforting wing over Moon Dancer’s back the whole way. They found Fluttershy going through her usual morning routine of getting her animals fed. Fluttershy spotted them as they walked up to her cottage. 

“Good morning,” She called out, “What brings you here this early?” As Fluttershy flew over to greet them, she noticed how miserable Moon Dancer looked. 

“Moon Dancer had a scare this morning. She’s thinking about committing herself, but wanted to talk with you first,” Twilight informed her. 

“Come inside, I’ll prepare some tea,” Fluttershy opened her door and started getting the tea ready as soon as she entered her kitchen. Her guests sat down on her couch.

“Do you want to talk to Fluttershy alone, or do you want us to stay with you?” Tom asked Moon Dancer. Moon Dancer thought it over for a minute before answering.

“I want you here. If I do decide to be committed, I want you to come with me when I do it,” Moon Dancer finally replied. Fluttershy set down the tea and sat in an open chair.

“Now, first things first, tell me what happened,” Fluttershy requested. So Moon Dancer repeated what she had told Tom and Twilight. Fluttershy considered for a moment.

“I can understand why that would be scary and why you’d want to be committed after that. What’s so scary about being committed?” Fluttershy asked calmly, “It might be the best thing for you.”

“I don’t want to lose my privacy. I don’t want to lose my freedom. I don’t want strangers staring at me constantly, judging me. I feel like if I get committed, that’d be admitting I’m…broken,” Moon Dancer’s word just tumbled out of her mouth, “But I’m afraid of what I’d do if I’m not committed."

“You haven’t done anything yet, besides cutting yourself and you’ve stopped doing that.” Fluttershy reminded.

“But what if next time it’s more than just a passing thought? What if I can’t stop myself?” Moon Dancer said softly.

“I think you’re stronger than you seem,” Tom spoke up, “And braver than you believe. I may have confronted you about it, but you were the one strong enough to stop cutting. You’ve never once tried to go behind our backs and you haven’t had a relapse.”

“How do you know that?! You know I can cast illusions, yet you’ve never cast a reveling spell on me!” Moon Dancer suddenly shouted.

“Have you still been cutting?” Tom asked patiently.

“No…” Moon Dancer deflated.

“I haven’t cast reveling spells on you because I believe trusting you is important. I’ll trust you until you prove you’re unworthy of that trust, which you haven’t. If you decide commitment is the best choice, then I’ll trust you on that too,” Tom told her, "If knowing you're safe and can't hurt yourself is what you need, then get committed. We won't think less of you."

“I agree with Tom. Trust is a pillar of any relationship. We both trust you enough to make your own right answer,” Tom’s eyes flicked to Twilight, but otherwise did nothing. If she wanted to use his words to help Moon Dancer, that was fine with him.

“I know when my animals are feeling a little blue, a familiar safe place helps them. Have you been generally happier since coming to Ponyville?” Fluttershy asked.

“Of course! I know everyone around me cares about me. I’ve reconnected with my old school friends. Almost every day, something fun and crazy is happening. My research is actually being used to help someone instead of just learning for its own sake. I’m honestly surprised by how good that makes me feel,” Moon Dancer said with a small smile. 

“So maybe staying in that loving environment will help you more than getting committed,” Fluttershy suggested. Moon Dancer let out a sigh.

“Maybe all it comes down to is what I value more: my safety or my friends and freedom,” Moon Dancer said softly.

“I don’t think that’s a good way of viewing it,” Tom opined, “Your friends want you alive and happy. If being committed helps that, then we’ll be behind you 100%. If being out here, getting wrapped up in our insanity helps that, then we’ll support you in that choice too.” Moon Dancer slumped a bit in her seat. 

“I don’t know what to do,” Moon Dancer moaned. 

“There’s no perfect answer, Moon Dancer,” Fluttershy admitted, “Some will argue it is irresponsible of us not to be doing our best to convince you to be committed and that your safety is paramount. Others think that being committed is giving up and that being committed at all is unacceptable and if we try to convince you to be committed then we’re deciding that you aren’t worth the effort. None of that matters. All that matters is what you, personally, think of the matter.”

“The difference between surviving and living?” Moon Dancer asked.

“If that’s how you want to view it,” Fluttershy commented neutrally. 

“You could also talk to a psychiatrist. They might be able to prescribe you something that helps,” Twilight suggested. 

“The idea of my mood being controlled by a little pill…I don’t like it,” Moon Dancer said with a shake of her head.

“If you commit yourself, you’ll more than likely be forced to take drugs anyway,” Tom noted, “Given that you’ve stopped cutting and haven’t actively tried to commit suicide, I’d presume they’d only give you a mood stabilizer and an antidepressant. Maybe only the antidepressant, I’m not a psychiatrist so I can’t say.”

“I think you should talk to a professional regardless. They know more about this than any of us,” Twilight added. 

“I can put you in contact with my therapist, Dr. Thoughts, if you like. He can also recommend a psychiatrist to you,” Fluttershy offered. 

“I think that might be my best option right now. I’ll talk to Dr. Thoughts and a psychiatrist. If they can help, then I won’t commit myself. If they can’t, then I will,” Moon Dancer decided. Choice made, Moon Dancer felt the tension in her Heart ease a bit. She was still afraid of what the future would hold, but she knew that with her friends, she could face it.
> The Crusader's Lesson
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 25: The Crusader's Lesson


It was looking to be a quiet day in Ponyville, for once. It was almost half past noon and the Crusaders were due to come in for their ‘Twilight Time’ any minute. Tom was of the opinion that the Crusaders would make short work of any hope for a quiet day, but knew the time Twilight spent teaching the three fillies was important to her. Suddenly the door opened.

“Hello Twilight and Tom!” Applebloom called out as she and the other two Crusaders walked in. The trio had been inducted into the secret last week. Tom had realized that once he had his own body, there’d be no hiding his existence. So he decided to treat revealing the secret like one would temper an egg mixture, slowly and in little batches. Hopefully that would kill any panic…in Ponyville at least. 

“Hello girls, you’re right on time!” Twilight said pleasantly.

“Hello, you three,” Tom greeted before returning to his book. Giving the illusion Twilight used the ability to see and hear had been a recent breakthrough, but it meant that Twilight could teach directly instead of having to do it through Tom. Unfortunately, while they had been able to make it corporeal as well, it took so much mana that even with Tom’s improving stamina and technique it still drained him to the point of passing out within ten minutes. Both Twilight and Tom had agreed it would be for emergency use only.

To Tom’s eternal surprise, the worse that had happened during Twilight Time was Applebloom’s potion going slightly awry. The plant that had supposed to be growing was now hamming it up with a coughing fit.

“I think I know what happened here,” Twilight smiled, “You added a sprig of peppermint and only half the honeydew seeds, right?”

“How did ya know?!” Applebloom asked in surprise. 

“I did the exact same thing when I first tried to brew that potion. I thought the peppermint would help speed the growth and that taking away half the honeydew seeds would make the growth more pronounced. Instead the peppermint caused it to grow a limited respiratory system because the honeydew seeds that I did add weren’t enough to keep the whole potion from destabilizing. This is an important lesson. Sometimes the book author knows exactly what they’re talking about. You should leave the experimentation until you’re a bit more experienced in potion making,” Twilight explained. 

“Ah’ll remember that fer next time,” Applebloom promised.

Soon thereafter Twilight Time was finished for the week. Nothing earth shattering happened in the next week. The worst that happened was a swarm of parasprites tried to invade the town, but after what had happened the last time the town was prepared. Twilight and Amethyst had worked together to place down an anti-parasprite ward at the request of the Mayor following the reconstruction efforts. So Pinkie had had plenty of time to gather the instruments she needed to drive them away before they could breach the ward. 

When Twilight Time rolled around again, there was a knock on the door. The Crusaders normally came right in and Golden Oaks was a public library, so who would be knocking? Tom went to investigate. 

There he found the Crusaders and two young fillies he and Twilight had seen around town on occasion, but didn’t actually know the names of. The two fillies screamed in excitement and darted towards Tom. 

“Princess Twilight!” They shouted and instantly the mask was on.

“It’s really her!” the pink one exclaimed.

“Oh my gosh, I don’t believe it!” The other cried. Both were bouncing up and down with enough energy to put Pinkie to shame. 

“Hello, girls, pleased to meet you. May I have your names?” Tom asked politely. 

“I’m Diamond Tiara and this is Silver Spoon. Princess Twilight, it is such an honor to meet you!” Diamond said while bowing slightly, “Oh my gosh, who dyes your tail?” Tom hadn’t known dyeing of tails was even a thing in Equestria.

“No one dyes their tail except the children of the super wealthy,” Twilight helpfully input. The illusion spell hadn’t been active at the moment, so only Tom heard her. 

“Are those books in there?! What a bold design choice!” Diamond declared.

“You do realize this is a public library?” Tom couldn’t hold back that bit of snark. The two fillies ignored him as they walked inside. Tom turned to the Crusaders with a raised eyebrow in askance. 

“They really wanted to come, so we thought Twilight wouldn’t mind too much,” Sweetie Belle said quickly.

“I’d rather Twilight Time just be between us. I’m all for helping as many as I can, but unless you’re willing to vouch for their trustworthiness, teaching would fall to Tom again and it was supposed to be my responsibility in the first place,” Twilight told the trio, which Tom repeated.

“I also don’t like how much they’re brown nosing. Makes me think they’re up to something,” Tom added. 

“Ah never understood that ‘brown nosing’ phrase. What does it mean?” Applebloom asked. 

“It means someone who spends so much time bowing and scraping that they have their nose in the dirt all the time, thus brown nosing. It’s usually used to describe someone who’s just being overly polite to butter someone up,” Tom answered after a quick moment to think.

“Nice save,” Twilight giggled. 

“Oh, Ah guess that makes sense,” Under most circumstances, Tom would’ve been happy to tell them the real context, but he didn’t want Applejack coming to tan his hide for teaching ‘Bloom something so crude. Sweetie Belle seemed to buy the answer too, but Scootaloo was looking at him with a skeptical expression. Tom silently willed her to not say anything and mercifully she didn’t. 

“Anyway, I wouldn’t really trust Diamond and Silver, so we’ll keep this to just the three of us,” Sweetie promised. 

“Alright then, shall we continue from where we left off last week? Who wants to go first?” Tom asked.

“Uh, shouldn’t they go first? They are the guests, after all!” Tom noted Sweetie’s slightly panicked tone. He didn’t want to make any assumptions, but when the equation was 2 + 2 there were only so many answers. 

“Are you afraid of making a mistake? Does that mean you’re crushing on one of them?” All three Crusaders made disgusted faces, “Or you’re afraid they’ll get material to bully you with?”

“Um, maybe that last one,” Scootaloo admitted. 

“We brought them to Twilight Time because we thought they might bully us less if we let them come,” Sweetie confessed.

“Not a bad idea on the surface, but if you give in to the bullies once, they’ll expect you to do it again and again until you’re just someone they can walk all over. Now, do you want me to send them away or will you let them stay?”

The three Crusaders huddle together to discuss the matter. It only took them a minute to come to a decision. 

“We’ll let them stay. S’not like they’ll say anythin’ they haven’t said before,” Applebloom said glumly.

Once Twilight Time was over, Tom resolved to go speak to their school teacher, Ms. Cheerilee. It was only a matter of heading over to the schoolhouse, where the mare seemed to be grading papers.

“Ms. Cheerilee, could I have a minute of your time?” Tom asked. Cheerilee looked up, startled.

“Oh, Princess Twilight, you gave me a fright. What can I do for you?” Cheerilee asked.

“Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo have told me they’re being bullied by Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara. Is there anything that might be done about that?” Tom inquired. Cheerilee grew a sour look on her face.

“If only I could. Diamond and Silver are very careful to do any bullying when I’m otherwise distracted, so I can’t pin anything on them. I’ve given them both detentions numerous times, but that’s all I can do unless one of the Crusaders comes directly to me to complain. Even if I could catch the pair in the act, they could likely squirm their way out of real trouble because Diamond’s mother is on the school board,” Cheerilee said with a pronounced frown.

“Maybe you could hire a teacher’s assistant to keep a closer eye on them?” Tom suggested.

“Ha! I don’t mean to laugh, Princess, but the school budget is tight enough as it is. That isn’t even considering the influx of Changeling students that are sure to come in next year. I’ve already put in a petition for an increased budget, but bureaucracy is gumming up the works, as usual,” Cheerilee sounded tired and frustrated. She loved teaching, but could definitely do without the red tape. 

“I’m sorry to hear that. Even if we can’t do anything about the bullying at the moment, I can see what I can do to get you the budget you need. A good education is extremely important,” On this Twilight and Tom were of one mind. 

“That would be very much appreciated, Princess,” Cheerilee said gratefully. Tom said farewell and left the schoolhouse feeling distinctly dissatisfied.

The next day the Crusaders invited Tom and Twilight out for lunch, to thank them for their teaching. Tom felt kinda bad for Twilight, as she couldn’t eat. She just stared longingly at the food. 

“Thank you for inviting us here,” Tom said to try and distract everyone.

“I’m glad you three did so, I’m so honored,” Twilight revealed.

“You are?” Sweetie asked in confusion.

“When you first asked me to help you develop new skills, I thought that working with young students so devoted to the joy of learning purely for its own sake-” Tom interrupted her with a bark of laughter, “What?”

“Not everyone is you or Moon Dancer, Twi. Some actually learn for the sake of doing something with it,” Tom looked knowingly at the Crusaders, who all looked abashed. 

“But learning is a joy,” Twilight pouted.

“Now you’re just being thick on purpose,” Tom rolled his eyes while Twilight giggled. 

“Twilight!” Suddenly the Pink One appeared, “I haven’t seen you here in forever and a half!” 

“I know…” Twilight returned to looking forlornly at the food she wasn’t able to eat. 

“Hey, what’s going on out there?” Pinkie pointed a hoof to the window behind Tom and Twilight. They turned around, but saw nothing, “Huh, never mind, they’re gone.”

Pinkie claimed to see them again just as Tom and Twilight turned back around, but vanished once more when they turned back to the window. Pinkie just shrugged it off and walked away. Tom, who was a bit more genre savvy, quickly cast an extrasensory spell. Sure enough, it seemed like all of Cheerilee’s students were lurking outside, taking pictures and whatnot. 

“Why do I get the strange feeling you three are behind the flash mob behind me?” Tom asked patiently. 

“I’ve been living in Ponyville for over a year and have been a princess for almost three months. Why are they so interested in me now?” Twilight idly wondered. 

“They’re kids and you’ve somehow become a fad. It’s probably best not to question it,” Tom advised. 

“To tell tha truth, Diamond and Silver kinda spread it around that we were getting one on one time with you. Suddenly everypony wanted a piece o’ the pie and they thought we could give it to them. So Sweetie thought that if we could let them take pictures and stuff, they’d calm down a mite,” Applebloom admitted. 

“Unfortunately, most of the time giving a mob a taste of what they want only excites them further. Let’s see if I can’t head this off before it becomes a real problem,” Tom sighed and stood up to confront the swarm of fillies and colts. 

“Princess Twilight!” The mob called out as he exited the doors of the Hayburger.

“Alright, I’m going to make a few things perfectly clear. One, I’m still the same Twilight Sparkle that’s lived and worked as the librarian for the last year. I know most of you have checked out books at least once in that time. Don’t think I’ve forgotten what you did to the book you borrowed, Button Mash,” There was a light chuckling through the crowd, “Two, I do not appreciate being stalked, just the same as anyone else. If you have something to say, come say it to me directly. If you want to take a picture of me, do the same. I’m not opposed to taking pictures if asked and done in a respectful way. Three, I take the time out of my week specifically to teach Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, and Scootaloo. It’s not that I don’t want to teach anyone else, but I simply don’t have the time to do so and even the time I set aside for the Crusaders is often interrupted or postponed or even canceled. I hope you can understand.”

Slowly, the crowd dispersed with moans and groans of disappointment. Once they were all gone, the Crusaders exited the Hayburger. They all had contrite looks on their faces.

“We’re super sorry,” Sweetie apologized.

“That was really cool how you handled them all so easily,” Scootaloo complimented.

“It’s fine. As for taking care of the mob, well, any live performer will tell you, from magicians to singers to actors, that the ability to read a crowd is very important. Reading a group of school children was no great task. I just needed to be firm with them,” Tom replied. Tom reconstructed Twilight’s illusion

“We’d understand if ya’ll don’t wanna teach us anymore,” Applebloom said sadly.

“Nonsense, what happened wasn’t your fault. It just got out of hoof. Trying to do something nice for your classmates isn’t something to be ashamed of,” Twilight said gently. 

“We weren’t as all-al-altrustick as all that,” Sweetie struggled with the word.

“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘altruistic’. Also, I would have been very surprised if there was no outside motivation from the three of you,” Tom corrected. 

“The way they looked at us when they thought we could get them in with Twilight…we were popular for once, instead of ‘just those blank flanks’,” Scootaloo kicked at the dirt in frustration. 

“So much fer that,” Applebloom huffed. 

“As someone who spent most of her school years in a book and someone who spent most of his time on the stage, we’re not really in a place to comment about popularity,” Twilight confessed.

“Other than to say it’s the bane of all things good,” Tom grumbled.

“Hush you,” Twilight rebuked, “What we can say is that you shouldn’t let promises of fleeting popularity pressure you into making bad choices. Popularity is a fickle thing, best to not make long term plans around it. Instead make plans with your friends and those who care about you. It will certainly be more rewarding in the long run.”

“We will, Twilight,” The trio chorused.

“Thanks for not being mad at us,” Scootaloo said gratefully.

“If we got mad over every little thing, we’d be very angry people. No harm was done. You may have noticed, but I’m a big proponent of forgiveness. Use the past to learn for the future, but do not dwell on it in the present is something my grandfather used to say. Learning from mistakes is more important than not making any at all,” Tom lectured.

“Ah guess that makes sense,” Applebloom replied after thinking it over for a moment.

“Good, now I believe that we left a meal back inside and I for one am eager to finish it in peace,” Tom and Twilight turned back into the Hayburger, followed by the Crusaders. The rest of the meal was happily undisturbed by rabid fans.
> Family Issues
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 26: Family Issues


It was approaching noon and Tom and Twilight were alone in the library. Spike was with Rarity collecting gems again and Moon Dancer had elected to go to her first appointment with her psychiatrist with Fluttershy by her side. Tom knew Twilight was a little put out by that decision, but she knew this was hard enough for Moon Dancer as it was. If she felt she needed Fluttershy’s Kindness then that was all there was to it. Tom had also reminded Twilight that Moon Dancer would be perfectly able to discuss the appointment after she came back, which soothed her somewhat.

They were reading, as was the norm, when there came a knock at the door.

“Seriously, this place is a public library, why is everyone knocking on the door?” Tom complained mildly. He got up and opened the door to find Lyra and Bon Bon standing there.

“Tom, Twilight, you gotta help us!” Lyra begged. Tom froze like a deer in the headlights.

“Tom is a rock. Why are you asking a rock for help?” He tried to play it off. It didn’t work. Must’ve rolled a critical failure on his charisma check or something.

“Drop the act, Tommy boy, we’ve known about you for quite a while,” Bon Bon told him.

“Wait, if Lyra knew there was a human within walking distance, how come she hasn’t been breaking down our door?” Twilight asked.

“Hey, I have some self-control! And Bonnie made me…but mostly self-control!” Lyra protested.

“Alright, come in. What do you two need help with, exactly?” Tom asked warily.

“My parents are making me come home for a day and they want Bonnie to come too,” Lyra explained.

“I don’t hear a problem in that, unless you don’t want them meeting the girlfriend. Scared your dad is gonna scare her off?” Tom teased. 

“I’m afraid he’ll do a whole lot worse than that,” Lyra muttered. 

“Lyra’s parents aren’t exactly the most…open minded of ponies,” Bon Bon revealed.

“I thought you ponies didn’t do homophobia?” Tom asked. 

“It’s rare, but it does still exist, unfortunately,” Twilight sighed. 

“That’s not the part I’m really worried about. My parents are aware that I’m gay. They aren’t thrilled about it, but they haven’t kicked me out of the family yet. If they learn that me and Bonnie are actually dating, that’ll probably change in a hurry,” Lyra worried.

“So your parents are afflicted by not one, but two of the dumbest prejudices to ever blight a mortal mind?” Tom asked for clarity.

“I’ve never heard homophobia and tribalism referred to like that before. Now I wish I had heard it sooner,” Lyra snickered. 

“‘Two of the dumbest prejudices to ever blight a mortal mind’?” Twilight asked, clearly also amused. 

“Racism, uh, tribalism in this case, is dumb because no one can help the way they were born. Depending on your school of thought, the same applies to being gay,” Tom groaned.

“Humans are so worried about people being gay that there are schools of thought about it?” Lyra asked.

“Yes. I’ve never claimed that Humanity is the brightest bunch. So, there is two- excuse me, three main schools of thought. First being that people are just born gay. Second is that being gay is a choice. Third is that it’s just a mental disorder,” 

“A MENTAL DISORDER?!” Bon Bon was outraged.

“Don’t shoot the messenger! I’m not the idiot who thinks that! I personally don’t care if it’s choice or something you’re born with. Just let people love how they wanna love. It’s not like the world is gonna burn to the ground just because one girl wants to make out with another girl or two dudes wanna sword play. I’ve already devoted enough brain cells to the stupidity that is homophobia. So, how exactly are me and Twilight gonna help? We can’t arrest people for being idiots unless it evolves into a hate crime,” Tom said wearily. 

“Well, I think they might be on to me and Bonnie, which is why I want you two to come with us to visit my parents,” Lyra began explaining.

“If you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend, the answer is no. That plan never ends well for anyone involved,” Tom said flatly. 

“No! Nothing like that…I’m just hoping that me bringing an Alicorn Princess home will distract my folks,” Lyra laid out her plan. In Tom’s opinion it wasn’t a good plan.

“I really should just tell you that Twilight and I have things that we need to do over the next few days and shouldn’t be upending them for some harebrained scheme. It’s true too...yet at the same time I feel a strange desire to hoodwink a pair of idiots. You do realize that your parents will find out you and Bonnie are shacking up sooner or later, yes? I hope you aren’t planning to get married, because that’s a surefire way of them finding out,” Both mares flinched. 

“Maybe they’ll die in a tragic accident?” Bonnie facehoofed. 

“Lyra, love, you just said that in front of a PRINCESS!” Bon Bon growled. 

“I didn’t hear a thing,” Tom said innocently. 

“Tom!” Twilight rebuked. 

“If you want my advice, take them for all they’re worth before you announce any marriage plants. If they want to disown you over someone who a blind man could see is the love of your life, then they deserve it,” Tom said dispassionately. Twilight looked like she wanted to protest, but couldn’t bring herself to. Cadence was her sister-in-law, after all. She had impressed upon Twilight from a young age just how important Love is. If someone was getting in the way of Love for such petty reasons, then she couldn’t bring herself to feel sorry for them if Lyra did as Tom suggested. 

“Does that mean you’ll help?” Lyra asked hopefully.

“I am sure I am dooming myself to at least a few days of extreme annoyance, but as I told Trixie, we are tenacious problem solvers. Just give me a couple of hours to get everything in order and we’ll leave at your earliest convenience,” Tom was sure this was going to come back to haunt him somehow.

That was how Tom, Twilight, Lyra, and Bonnie wound up on a train bound for Canterlot. On the way Twilight decided to strike up a private conversation with Tom.

“I would’ve thought you’d have at least a little problem with those who are gay. ‘Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth’ and all that,” Twilight observed.

“Are you trying to tell me there isn’t a spell that would let Lyra get pregnant with Bon Bon’s child or vice versa?” Tom questioned.

“There is and that’s not what I’m asking. I know Humans didn’t have any such spell and prejudices tend to be hard to shake. So, why?” Twilight asked again. Tom let out a heavy sigh.

“It’s my own personal crisis of faith. Why did God create more than one sex? At the very least, allow easy transition between the two. Maybe have everyone reproduce asexually? Whatever, my point is that the concept of sexes plural has done very little other than cause trouble. My best guess is that it’s some kind of test, but it’s the only trial I have a real issue with. I’m not going to have a problem with anyone over any topic related to sex except for rape, sexism, and sexually abusing children. There are other, pretty specific things that might grind my gears, but those three are a good general catch all. Can we talk about something else? I’ve gone over this particular train of thought more times than I care to remember with my bishop,” Tom requested. Twilight could sense this was really distressing to Tom.

“Of course,” She acquiesced. So the pair talked about nothing of consequence while Lyra and Bonnie got in some last minute snuggling. Seemingly all too soon, the train pulled into the Canterlot station.

“So, has Twilight been to your house, Lyra?” Tom asked as they exited the station.

“Absolutely not, I wanted to keep my friends, thank you very much,” Lyra scowled, “One of the only reasons I was grateful they never showed up to pick me up from school.”

“Wait, the mare who picked you up every day wasn’t your mother?” Twilight asked and Tom repeated. The body double might fly in Ponyville, but it wouldn’t in Canterlot. Lyra sighed.

“You’ll see when we get there,” Lyra grumbled. Soon the group stood before a four story townhouse, “Home sweet home.”

The group walked up to the door and Lyra rang the bell. A moment later, a Pegasus in a maid uniform opened the door. Her coat was pale brown and mane was half forest green and half pink. Her uniform hid her Cutie Mark.

“Welcome back, Miss Lyra,” She greeted with a curtsy, “The master and mistress are waiting to receive you in the drawing room.”

“Thank you, Feather Duster,” Lyra said stiffly before heading further into the house. Bonnie, Tom, and Twilight followed closely behind.

“I guess the mare who picked Lyra up every day was a maid or bodyguard or something…I didn’t know she came from money,” Twilight noted. 

“And your family were minor nobles even before you became Celestia’s student, Shining married Cadence, and you ascended,” Tom pointed out in a hushed whisper. 

“Fair enough,” Twilight acceded, “I never went to any of those high society things except the Grand Galloping Gala once or twice. I couldn’t tell you who is “important” here in Canterlot.”

Lyra and Bonnie had pulled ahead while Tom was distracted by Twilight. So he heard Lyra’s parents before he entered the drawing room. He chose to hang back a moment and listen.

“Lyra, welcome home,” A cultured female voice greeted.

“Mother, Father,” Lyra greeted tightly. Tom didn’t need to see her to tell she was standing ramrod straight. 

“Lyra, there is no need to be so stiff with us. We’re your parents,” A gruff male voice lightly rebuked, “And you must be Bon Bon, the candy maker, yes? I am Tenor Strings and this is my wife, Harp Serenade.”

Tom resisted the urge to growl at the imperious voice Tenor used with Bonnie. Even if Tom and Twilight hadn’t been warned, they still wouldn’t have been thrilled with Tenor’s tone. 

“You’re the one who our daughter has been staying with while in Ponyville, yes?” Harp asked.

“Yes ma’am,” Bonnie replied politely. She knew how to bow and scrape with the best of them. 

“It is good of…friends…to help each other out,” If Lyra didn’t already think her parents were on to her, she knew now.

“Lyra has been most helpful in watching my shop while I practice my craft,” Trust Bonnie to keep a cool head. Lyra felt a surge of affection for her marefriend, but was careful to let none of it show on her face. Tom chose that moment to step into the drawing room.

“Sorry, I just got distracted by the art in the hallway. Pre-Unicornia work?” Tom asked casually. Tom was grateful for the scholar that shared headspace with him. Twilight made his excuse sound plausible. 

“Silly Twilight, always with your heads in the clouds,” Lyra chided, a smile on her face. 

“Princess?!” Tenor exclaimed in shock.

“You did say to bring friends, so I brought Twilight too, who’s my friend,” Lyra kept any smugness she was feeling out of her voice. It was good to see her parents off kilter for once. 

“Lyra, honey, you never told us you were friends with a princess,” Harp sounded equally as shocked as her husband. Lyra clamped down on the desire to make a sarcastic remark. 

“It never came up,” She replied mildly. Tenor shot his daughter a look. 

“Princess, we avail our hospitality to you,” Tenor said graciously. 

“Thank you, Tenor Strings. I humbly accept,” Tom politely bowed his head. 

“Dear, the hour grows late and Dinner is about to be served. Shall we retire to the dining room?” Harp suggested. 

“Excellent idea!” With that, Tenor led the group to the dining room. There, Lyra’s parents were not so subtle about sitting Lyra next to Tom and Bonnie on the other side of the table. Tom got a sudden sinking feeling.

“So, how did you meet our daughter, Princess Twilight?” Harp asked once everyone was seated. 

“We live together in Ponyville,” Tom instantly regretted his choice of words as soon as they were out of his mouth. Lyra’s parents shared a look, “I first met her at Celestia’s School and we became friends there. We dropped out of contact for a year, but I recently reconnected with her.” Somehow Tom felt like he was digging his grave deeper. 

“Yes, Tom, shoot your mouth off a little more. By the end of this they’ll think you’re Lyra’s marefriend regardless of what you said about not wanting to make them think that,” Twilight felt a sadistic glee similar to when she triumphed over Shining in the Sibling Supreme. Was it wrong of her? Maybe. Did that stop her? Not a chance. 

“Oh? Tell us more about your time at CSGU. Lyra never told us anything at all,” Harp said and Tom could almost feel Lyra biting on her tongue next to him. 

“We were in the same class together, we practiced magic together...”

“She came over to my house a few times for group projects,” Twilight added unhelpfully. 

“Oh yes, I seem to recall the help telling us once or twice that Lyra had gone to the Sparkle’s home for schoolwork,” Of all the times for her parents to remember something about her life, it had to be now. Lyra choked back a groan. At least they weren’t asking about Bonnie! Small comfort that it was. 

“Would you say you and Lyra are particularly close, Princess?” Tenor asked in what Tom was sure he thought was a subtle manner. Tom knew he had to answer carefully. If they weren’t close, then why was he invited to meet the parents? If they were, then it was fuel to the two Unicorns’s shipping plans. 

“Lyra is one of my first friends,” If he were Twilight, then that would be true. Hopefully it was enough of a neutral answer. 

“Lyra, dear, why not tell us more?” Harp requested. 

“Well, you already know Twilight was Princess Celestia’s personal student when she was younger. She was top of the class, right beside Moon Dancer, and is most of the reason my grades were as good as they were,” Lyra replied blandly.

“So you spent a lot of time studying with the Princess?” Hope prodded.

“I suppose,” Lyra did not like this line of questioning, “She wasn’t a princess back then, obviously.”

Fortunately, before her parents could continue, the food arrived. The main course was pasta in alfredo sauce. Twilight was grateful she wasn’t in control of her mouth at the moment. She knew she was a messy eater, but unless she devoted way too much focus on the act of eating, she couldn’t seem to help herself. 

Dinner passed in blessed silence. Lyra doing an excellent job of avoiding her parent’s eyes and Bonnie practicing her hiding in plain sight skills. Tom took from their cue and just kept his mouth shut. Though the looks Bonnie were receiving made staying quiet most difficult. Once everyone had eaten Tenor stood up.

“Why don’t we retire to the sitting room? I want to hear more of what Lyra and Princess Twilight have been up to,” Tenor announced.

“Actually, Father, it was a long train ride and we’re all exhausted. We should head to bed so we can start fresh in the morning,” Lyra knew it was a gamble, but prayed Tenor would agree. He thought it over for a moment.

“Very well, perhaps you are right. We shall all head off to bed,” Tenor decided.

“We only have one guest bedroom,” Harp pointed out.

“Indeed. Princess, I hate to ask, but would you mind sharing a room with Lyra?” Tenor asked.

“Of course not, Lyra and I are friends, after all,” Tom had a hunch as to what Lyra was scheming. One of the maids was called upon and a bed was quickly made for Tom and Twilight. Once everyone was in their own rooms, Lyra turned to Tom.

“We’re breaking out of here at the break of dawn. First train back to Ponyville,” Lyra let the mask drop. Her eyes were seething with rage, “I don’t care who they are, no one treats my Bonnie like that.”

“Far be it from me to stop you. You gonna tell them about you and Bonnie or are we just gonna vanish like thieves in the night?” Tom asked. 

“I’ll write them a letter once we’re back to Ponyville and I empty my savings account. No need to do anything too rash. They can’t disown me if I disown them first,” Tom didn’t feel the need to comment on that particular bit of logic. 

“I’ll pass the plan along to Bonnie,” Tom said and teleported into the other mare’s room.

“Gee, can’t you at least knock?” Bon Bon teased, “So, when’s the marriage?”

“I am so sorry Bon Bon. I opened my dumb mouth and Lyra’s parents just ran with it,” Tom felt the need to apologize.

“Forget about it. No sense worrying what people like that think. Besides, I think you’d make a cute couple~” 

“Oy vey,” Tom grumbled, “Lyra wants us all to break out of here at dawn and make for the first train to Ponyville. Sound good to you?" 

“That suits me just fine. I’m already missing snuggling with Lyra too much,” Tom nodded in understanding before teleporting back to the room he and Twilight shared with Lyra.

“It’s nice Bonnie can joke about it,” Twilight commented.

“Bonnie’s on board with the plan. I’d suggest we all teleport out. Easier to dodge any early risers and staff,” Tom pointed out. Lyra nodded in agreement. 

So that’s how it was just as false dawn broke Lyra, Tom, Twilight, and Bonnie were already on the move for the station. They didn’t expect anyone to actually chase them down, but they didn’t feel like taking the risk either. The group boarded the early-early train and soon was safely on their way to Ponyville. Lyra and Bonnie wasted no time in basking in each other’s presence as soon as the train started moving. 





Two days had passed since the encounter with Lyra’s parents and Tom had all but put it from his mind. A new day was dawning and Tom opened the door to the library to retrieve the newspapers Twilight was subscribed to. Only to find Rarity on the doorstop trying to steal them away.

“Rarity, what are you doing?” Tom wasn’t nearly awake enough to deal with whatever madness the fashionista was attempting.

“Why, Tom, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Rarity said with a flutter of her eyelashes.

“I can see the newspapers floating behind your back,” Tom deadpanned.

“Uh, well, I just really wanted today’s coupons!” Rarity giggled nervously.

“It’s Friday. The coupons don’t come out until Sunday and I doubt you’ve shopped with coupons in your entire life,” Tom was willing to play this game.

“I have so used coupons!” Rarity huffed indignantly. 

“Rarity, whatever it is that you’re trying to keep me from seeing, I’ll see sooner or later anyway. Let’s just save us all some hassle and give me the papers,” Tom requested. Rarity drooped and gave over the papers. It didn’t take Tom too long to discover what Rarity was trying to hide.


The Ponyville Gazette



Local Unicorn Seduces Princess Twilight?



 



The Canterlot Times



Are Lyra Heartstrings and Princess Twilight Sparkle Dating?!


Really, there was only one response to something like this.

“SON OF A B-”
> Schadenfreude
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 27: Schadenfreude


Once Tom had finished cursing like a sailor, he read the rest of the articles. After which he cursed some more. It didn’t help. But he felt a bit better. 

“Was all that strictly necessary?” Rarity asked with an arched eyebrow. 

“I’d say something about attempted good deeds going horribly awry, but then I remember Suri. So never mind,” Tom was somewhat put out that he couldn’t use his witty remarks on Rarity. 

“So, what are you going to do?” Rarity inquired.

“Right now I’m going to find Lyra and Bon Bon and hope they aren’t upset with me over these articles,” Tom replied.

“Why on Equuis would they be upset with you?” Rarity was baffled.

“I don’t know, but better not to risk it and have this turn into even more of a mess,” With that Tom levitated a bagel out of the kitchen and stuffed it in his mouth before marching towards Bonnie’s sweet shop. He really should’ve teleported. 

“You know, Sir Tom, usually it is the royalty who pick up consorts, not the commoners who make consorts of royalty,” Luna and Chrysalis had spotted Tom and were making no efforts to hide their mirth.

“You know, if you want some tips on pleasing two mares at once, I’m sure I could help you,” Chrysalis offered. Tom knew better than to engage and encourage them. That did little to help Twilight laughing like a loon in his head. Schadenfreude is a powerful thing indeed. Or maybe Twilight just liked to laugh at him. He was seriously considering either possibility. 

“Tom, you sly dog, Lyra and Bon Bon? Because you know those two are a package deal~” Rainbow appeared and waggled her eyebrows at Tom. 

“Yes, I was just on my way to ravish my two gorgeous new girlfriends. Did everyone read the papers and just decide to harass me on the way to Bonnie’s shop?” Tom didn’t pout. If anyone claimed otherwise they were a filthy liar.

“Um, well…”

“Et tu Fluttershy?” He turned to see even the mild mannered Pegasus with a small smile on her lips. 

“You know no one in Ponyville is going to take those articles seriously. Bonnie and Lyra have only had eyes for each other almost since the day they met,” Fluttershy said slightly apologetically. 

“That doesn’t explain why everyone feels the need to poke fun at me,” OK, this time Tom was pouting. 

“Because no one can take the idea of Lyra dating anyone other than Bonnie seriously? I’m sure once those two poke their heads out of the shop, they’re gonna get some earfuls too,” Rainbow waved it off. 

“Right, well, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go see the mares in question,” Tom trotted off, leaving both Pegasai behind. Fortunately, he didn’t run into anyone else at that early hour. He arrived and knocked on the door.

“Come in!” Came the voice of Lyra. Tom entered and knew he was in trouble as soon as he saw the matching smirks on Lyra and Bonnie’s faces. 

“Well, Tom, me and Lyra have talked it over,” Bonnie began.

“And we’ve come to a decision,” Lyra was struggling against a bad case of the giggles.

“We’ll let you be our concubine,” The two said together. 

“I try and do something nice and this is what I get for it? That’s gratitude for you!” Honestly Tom couldn’t be too mad. If this were happening to anyone else, he’d most certainly be cracking jokes with the rest of them.

“So, our sexy Alicorn consort, what brings you here?” Bonnie asked.

“Well, I was going to ask if you’d seen the papers, but clearly you have. So I move to my next question: Lyra, if your parents turned up dead, say tomorrow, how would you feel?” Tom asked in a serious tone of voice.

“I wouldn’t lose sleep over it,” Lyra replied readily.

“Honestly you two! No plots to murder before breakfast!” Bonnie rebuked.

“What good is it being trapped in the body of a princess if I can’t hire covert assassins to slay those who displease me?” Tom asked rhetorically.

“You mean besides the sexy adorkableness of Twilight’s body?” Lyra responded.

“LYRA!” Twilight squawked in embarrassment.

“Twilight approves of your appreciation of her body,” Tom reported.

“TOM!” Tom was utterly unrepentant. If she wanted to laugh at him, turnabout was only fair play. 

“The sad thing about all this is that I can’t have anyone sued for libel because they were smart enough to phrase everything as questions and speculation. Even their conveniently “unnamed source” who somehow knew Twilight and Lyra had spent the night together,” Tom sighed.

“I’m going to kill my mother. “Unnamed source” my plot,” Lyra growled. 

“I’m sorely tempted to ask Celestia to send some fools to the sun, but she’s probably laughing at this whole thing as we speak,” Strictly speaking Tom didn’t even know if Celestia actually had the power to banish anyone to the sun or moon without the aid of the Elements. 

“Hey, maybe we can convince Luna to send them all a plague of nightmares?” Lyra suggested.

“I don’t think there’s enough moon pies and dark chocolate in Equestria to accomplish that feat,” Bonnie quipped as she started preparing breakfast. 

“We could always try and bribe her with sexual favors. Make it two outta four Alicorns,” Lyra snarked.

“But if we did that then we’d have to go after the complete set and no offense to your brother, Twilight, but both of us find the idea of bedding a stallion icky at the best of times. I’m sure Tom is of a similar mindset,” Bonnie remarked.

“I will admit to a man crush on David Bowie back in his heyday, but otherwise I’m pretty much exclusively a heterosexual male,” Tom confirmed. 

“Or a lesbian, going off your current body,” Lyra ‘helpfully’ pointed out. 

“That is a can of worms I have no desire in opening,” Tom said flatly.

“What about you, Twilight? Any special fillies or colts on your mind?” Bonnie asked. 

“No,” Twilight answered shortly. 

“Twilight has vivid fantasies of pinning Luna to a wall and having her way with the Princess of the Night,” Tom lied. Even if she did have such fantasies, he wouldn’t know.

“Tom, when we get our own bodies, I will kick your plot from here to Canterlot and back,” Twilight swore darkly. 

“You might have to fight Chrysalis for her,” Lyra observed.

“Given she was offering to give me tips on how to handle a threesome, I don’t think she’d mind sharing overmuch,” Tom reveled with a shit eating grin.

“I’m surrounded by perverts!” Twilight groaned. If she wanted to laugh at Tom all the way from Golden Oaks to here, then she could go without the ability to defend herself to Lyra and Bonnie. 

“Do you think we should count it if we get a Changeling to shape shift into Cadence and Celestia or would that only be like, half credit?” Bonnie wondered as she poured waffle batter into the iron. 

“Definitely partial credit, half the fun would be knowing we got to lay all four. Or all five, once the Winter Solstice comes around,” Lyra shrugged as if it were the only natural response. 

“I’m not even going to ask how you know about our plans for the Winter Solstice,” Tom decided.

“Good choice,” Lyra and Bonnie said at the same time.

“Although I guess, being a princess, you do have the clearance to know…” Bonnie trailed off. 

“What? That you’re part of a secret government agency that reports directly to Celestia? Twilight figured that out a long time ago,” Tom enjoyed the surprised looks on both mares’ faces. 

“How?!” Bonnie demanded.

“A void in a magical detection array is just as noticeable as an active alert, if you know what to look for. I didn’t graduate top of my class for nothing. Once I knew who it was that was poking around my house, it was a simple matter to find out you were a secret agent. Being Celestia's prized student has its perks Sweetie Drops~," Twilight said smugly and Tom passed it along. Deciding Twilight had been deprived enough, he summoned the body double.

“Well, looks like the boys down at the labs are gonna have a new project,” Bonnie sighed. 

“If they thought they were going to dupe the Element of Magic with a magic trick, then you need better scientists,” Tom snarked. 

“Why’d you even have a magical detection array up?” Lyra asked.

“Force of habit mostly. My brother wanted to make sure I was as safe as possible, so drilled some basic home protection spells into me,” Twilight replied. 

“That sounds like Armor alright,” Bonnie quipped. 

“Well, as entertaining as this has been, I should probably make plans to head back to Canterlot. Just because no one in Ponyville is gonna believe the newspaper doesn’t mean Canterlot isn’t in a holy riot right about now,” Tom was not looking forward to putting out those fires.

“At least stay for breakfast,” Bonnie entreated, “What kind of marefriends would we be if we sent you off on an empty stomach?”

So it was that Tom ate breakfast with Bonnie and Lyra before heading off to Canterlot at top speed. He had a bad feeling it was going to be a long next few days.
> Breezie Listening
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 28: Breezie Listening


The day was upon them. The Breezies would be passing through Ponyville on their way back home and it was up to the Pegasai and specifically Fluttershy to see them through safely. It was only a pity Tom and Twilight weren’t here. They were still up in Canterlot dealing with the fallout of those articles. 

“What I don’t understand is why the Breezies need the Pegasai to make a breeze for them,” Mr. Cake commented as he placed down a tray of cupcakes for the festivities. 

“The Breezies’ innate magic is activated by the breeze, hence the name. They carry pollen from the world at large to their home to pollinate the crops of their home, because the usual pollinators are too big. In order to keep the pollen fresh on their long journey, they need the use of their magic, thus the breeze,” Fluttershy explained, “Their home is actually a pocket dimension folded into the very Magic of Equuis itself and the portal only opens once a year. Once they reach Ponyville, they’ll only have two days to make it home before the portal closes.”

“You sure do know a lot about them, Fluttershy,” Mr. Cake complimented.

“I can see why we need to focus on not scaring the little things; how far out is their portal from here?” Mrs. Cake asked. 

“They should make it with about six hours to spare, should everything go according to plan,” Fluttershy replied. Then Rarity walked into the Town Square and Fluttershy suddenly got a foreboding feeling.

“Fluttershy, darling, when will the Breezies be arriving?” Rarity asked in her very bright purple sequin…cape? Fluttershy couldn’t see it well enough to tell if it was a cape or a cloak. 

“Er, Rarity, about what you’re wearing…?” Fluttershy hesitated to ask.

“There’s too much purple, isn’t there? I knew it!” Rarity grumbled.

“I don’t think that’s what she’s sayin’ Rares,” Applejack drawled.

“You’re gonna blind all the Breezies with that getup! Come to it, you’re blinding all of us with it!” Rainbow complained. Rarity looked down at herself.

“I…I suppose it is a bit too glittery,” She then removed the purple cloak, only to reveal an even brighter garment underneath.

“My eyes!” Was the cry of more than one suddenly blinded Pony or Changeling.

“I’ll just go get changed, won’t be a tick!” Rarity bolted for her boutique and Fluttershy let out a sigh of relief. Barely fifteen seconds later Rainbow spotted the Breezies inbound for Ponyville.

“Ladies and gentlecolts, it is my pleasure to present to you, the Breezies!” Mayor Mare exclaimed in a stage whisper. Fluttershy settled in to watch the Breezies float by in all their adorableness. Then everything went horribly wrong when a stray leaf drifted into the path of the Breezies and knocked several of them off course. 

Fluttershy, surprising herself, flew into action immediately. She caught a Breezie that was tumbling away from the rest of the separated group and quickly collected the rest of the Breezies who had been disrupted by the leaf. Once they were all firmly gripping onto her, she brought them to a tree stump to disembark. 

“Tank ye fer yer help. Ah, yeh can oonderstand our language, canne ya lass?” A blue Breezie with a pink mane that nearly matched Pinkie Pie’s in fluffiness asked.

“Yes, a few weeks ago I spent some time with Breezies learning your language,” Fluttershy replied proudly. He then switched to Equestrian from his native dialect.

“You must be so proud,” He complimented with a thick accent.

“You speak Equestrian?” Fluttershy asked in surprise.

“I can, this lot can only understand ye,” The Breezie glared at the others, “Ye’d think with us doin’ so much business with yeh Ponyfolk they’d at least be bothered tah learn a few basic sentences! But nah, this lot be too lazy fer that.” The Breezies behind him started shouting in anger.

“Oh, well, it isn’t always that easy to learn a second language,” Fluttershy said gently.

“Ah’m not sayin’ it is, but when yer very life could depend on it, yeh canne least put a little effort inta it. If Ah didn’t speak Equestrian and you didn’t speak Breezie, canne ye imagine the trouble we’d be in? I shudder ta think!” Truthfully Fluttershy thought he had a point. As she had just recently learned with the Vampire Fruit Bats, lack of communication could be disastrous. Fluttershy was just glad the whole thing worked out in the end.

“Dame Fluttershy, that was most impressive!” The others had caught up to her.

“Heck yeah, you leapt into action like it was nothing!” Rainbow cheered, “Er, sorry for not being able to fix the breeze in time.”

“It was hardly your fault a rogue leaf flew into their flight path,” Chrysalis remarked.

“It was my fault! I’m the one who knocked the leaf loose! It was all meeee!” Spike wailed. Before Fluttershy could say anything to comfort him, however, the Breezie spoke up.

“Yer Majesty, cannit really be you?!” Suddenly all the Breezies were bowing, “We had thought ye lost tah us!”

“Chrissy?” Luna voiced the question they all had.

“Oh, well, the Breezies swore fealty to myself and the Changelings some fifteen hundred years ago. I would’ve thought they had all forgotten me and moved on by this point,” Chrysalis directed that last sentence at the Breezie, politely curious.

“Aye, as a society we’ve moved on, but we all remember tha old ways, yer Majesty! We havennt fergotten tah old covenants,” The Breezie exclaimed.

“I’m quite pleased to hear this. Tell me, what is your name?” Chrysalis inquired.

“I am Seabreeze, of House Windrider!” Seabreeze happily introduced himself.

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance, but for now, you all may rise. You have important matters to attend to before the portal closes,” Chrysalis reminded.

“Aye, right yeh are yer Majesty. Oi, how fast canne get another breeze agoin’?” Seabreeze asked of the Pegasai. Before anyone could answer Fluttershy was swarmed by Breezies with a dozen different complains of still being out of sorts after being knocked about by that leaf.

“Maybe an hour of rest is in order? You should still get there in plenty of time,” Fluttershy suggested. Seabreeze didn’t seem a fan of this idea.

“We may be small, but we arrent as weak as all tha’,” He grumbled, but was clearly overruled by his fellow Breezies. So they all adjourned to Fluttershy’s cottage to eat and relax a bit before the final leg of their journey. 

An hour later and Fluttershy was sure they were well taken care of in that time. She was also fairly sure they were ready to move on, judging by how they were freely flapping about her cottage. When Fluttershy suggested it was time to go, the Breezies gathered around her in an instant and begged her to let them stay a little longer.

“You really should get going. Your portal home won’t stay open forever,” Fluttershy pointed out. At the same time, she felt uneasy forcing the Breezies from her home.

“Yeh buncha soppin’ pussies! Not only are yeh embarrasin’ us in front o’ Queen Chrysalis ‘erself, but yer takin’ advantage of a sweet mare’s kindness! ‘Ow a buncha fookin’ cowards an’ charlatans like you lot got picked fer pollen dooty is beyond me!” Seabreeze sounded disgusted with his fellow Breezies. It was probably for the best that he said all that in his native tongue. 

“I suppose if you really want to stay another half hour won’t hurt anything,” Fluttershy caved in.

“We need ta go now! There’s no tellin’ what awaits us! Wha’ if we run inta another leaf?! I hate bein’ so powerless an’ that our magic only works with a breeze! Wha’ I wouldn’t give ta be a Pegasus, master o’ the skies! But Ah’m not! Ah’m a Breezie who needs ta get ‘ome, with tha pollen, just like you lot!” Seabreeze cried.

“Would it be so bad if we stayed with Miss Fluttershy?” That was the wrong thing to say. Seabreeze flew over to the offender and grabbed her by the collar.

“We. Need. To. Get. That. Pollen. HOME!” He roared, “Or does yer selfish ass not care iffen half tha village starves ta death because yer cowardly ass couldnta stand tha thought of a little danger?!”

“But Seabreeze, we’re sick!” Another Breezie complained and started fake coughing. The rest soon joined in. Fluttershy took care of animals for a living, one of whom was Angel Bunny. She wasn’t deceived for a heartbeat. 

“If you’re really so sick, then I should examine you,” Fluttershy offered, “After all, I need to know what medicine you need.”

“Yes, let her examine you,” Contempt oozed from every pore of Seabreeze’s body. Fluttershy would be lying if the thought of serving them all fresh squeezed lemon juice as ‘medicine’ didn’t cross her mind. She knew Breezies couldn’t stand anything bitter or sour. However, she had spent enough time with Discord to learn sometimes Kindness required a firm hoof. 

She picked up one of the ‘coughing’ Breezies and placed him on a table. She got a pen light and magnifying glass and told the Breezie to open his mouth. He reluctantly did as told and Fluttershy found nothing wrong, as she knew she would. 

“You all have to go home. Even if you didn’t have pollen you needed to deliver, Equestria isn’t meant for you. If a single leaf can knock you off balance, what about a rainstorm or frogs or any host of things that would be dangerous to you? I extended my kindness to you because I thought you needed it. I can see now that my kindness hasn’t helped you at all. It’s put you all in danger of missing your chance to go home. You have to leave and that’s final,” Fluttershy’s Heart wavered as the Breezies begged and pleaded, but she remained firm in her decision.

Thankfully, Fluttershy’s forceful eviction had come soon enough that the breeze could be moderated for their fewer numbers without risking them not making it in time. As the Pegasai were readying the breeze Seabreeze turned to Fluttershy.

“Thank ye fer helpin’ this lot get their rears in gear. I canne wait to see me wife and child again,” Seabreeze said wistfully as he thought of his family, “I wanne you to have somethin’.” Seabreeze dug into his pocket and produced a small picture. 

“Your family?” Fluttershy asked as she looked at it.

“Aye, they are truly the most important thing in tha world ta me. I know that if me wife were here, she’d want me ta give ye somethin’ in thanks. This is all Ah have on me, but Ah’d be honored if ye accept it,” Seabreeze gave the picture to Fluttershy. It showed Seabreeze, his wife, and a newborn child.

“I’ll be honored to accept. Now, I think the breeze is ready. Goodbye Seabreeze and safe journey!” Fluttershy bid Seabreeze farewell as he and the other Breezies drifted off. Seabreeze turned and shouted one final goodbye before being carried away out of sight.
> Rocky Relations
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 29: Rocky Relations


“Welcome back,” Moon Dancer greeted as Tom and Twilight entered Golden Oaks for the first time in days. Tom slumped down onto the ground.

“It’s good to be back. Merciful Hades, if I had to spend another minute in Canterlot I might’ve just lost my mind,” Tom complained. 

“That bad huh?” Spike asked as he went about his daily chores.

“Everyone except Fancy Pants and Celestia were treating the whole thing as a life or death matter. Didn’t matter what I had to say on the matter. It’s not like Twilight was half of the supposed couple or anything. For the sake of my continued sanity I finally just made a press statement with Celestia’s help and got out,” Tom confessed.

“For you to have continued sanity, you need to have had it in the first place,” Twilight snarked. She had been getting increasingly snarky as their stay in Canterlot progressed. Tom presumed it was because she was back to being trapped the whole time. With that in mind Tom summoned the body double. 

“So, we had a bit of an event while you two were gone,” Moon Dancer revealed. 

“Oh? Tell us please,” Twilight requested.

So Moon Dancer told them all about the Breezies and how they had tried to take advantage of Fluttershy. Spike also felt compelled to tell them that he was the one who had accidentally knocked the leaf into the Breezies’ path. They also learned that the Breezies had sworn loyalty to the Changelings.

“So not only was there a mass crossing of cute beings through Ponyville that we missed, but we also missed political intrigue and the chance to roast them alive for abusing Fluttershy’s kindness? Man, you guys get all the fun,” Tom couldn’t keep a straight face while he said all that. Twilight just rolled her eyes. 

“So, now that you’re back, what’s on the agenda?” Moon Dancer asked.

“I think in a day or two we’ll be ready to start preliminary testing on that cloning spell. That should be when the next letter from Dr. Cell arrives,” Twilight answered. Dr. Stem Cell had been immensely helpful with sharing his research over the past few weeks. 

“Everyone quick, I need all hooves on deck! Sugar Cube Corner, NOW!” Suddenly Pinkie came bursting in through the door. She snatched up Spike and was out the door before anyone could stop her.

“Well, let’s go rescue Spike from whatever fresh madness awaits,” Tom said while rising from his position on the floor. Moon Dancer followed and they met all the usual suspects heading to Sugar Cube Corner as well.

“Anyone have any idea what’s got Pinkie even more hyper than usual?” Chrysalis asked as they stood outside the door to Sugar Cube. 

Before anyone had the chance to answer, Pinkie threw open the door and threw everyone inside. There they found mountains of what seemed to be rock candy in various colors and Spike was already munching on some.

“I’m glad you all could make it! I need help taste testing this rock candy!” Pinkie explained.

“Pinkie, dear, this much candy seems excessive, even for you,” Rarity commented. Pinkie smiled sheepishly.

“Well…I did kinda go a little overboard. One of my sisters, Maud, is visiting and she loves rock candy, so I wanted to make the perfect batch for her,” Pinkie told the group.

“Shoot, if it’s fer family, then I don’t mind helpin’ out,” Applejack said as she took a bit of rock candy and started eating it.

“I agree with Applejack, if it’s for family, why didn’t you just say so?” Chrysalis too took to the candies, followed by Pharynx who would later insist that he had only done so on his Queen’s orders, not that she had given any. 

Half an hour later and everyone was feeling pretty sick of rock candy. 

“Everyone ready for more?” Pinkie asked as she carted in a bin full of more rock candy.

“My teeth hurt,” Rainbow complained followed by groans of agreement from several others. Even Tom, who had stuck to only one or two pieces of each flavor, was feeling slightly queasy. 

“Don’t you have to go pick up yer sister at the station about now anyway?” Applejack asked.

“But we’ve only finished 4/5ths of all the flavors and we have to find the perfect one for Maud so I can make enough of that flavor!” Pinkie shouted before hastily downing the bin she had just brought in.

“Pinkie, she’s your sister. I’m sure she’ll love whatever you bring her,” Twilight comforted the slightly panicked mare, “And I’m pretty sure you have more than enough of whatever flavor Maud takes a liking to. She’s only staying for a week, right?”

“It’s not just for Maud, silly, I’m making candy for all of us!” Pinkie chirped happily. A great groan rose up from the entire group. Even Coco voiced her displeasure. Pinkie then went on to explain the Pie family tradition of making rock candy necklaces for super close friends. Somehow no one was surprised to learn the Pie family recipe for rock candy included real rocks. 

“How do you eat them if the secret ingredient is rocks?” Rainbow asked.

“They’re not just any type of rock; they’re a special rock that Maud discovered!” Pinkie explained. 

“What kind of rock are they?” Fluttershy asked.

“I can’t tell you that, it’s a secret!” Pinkie said before patting Fluttershy on the head. Geology had never been Tom’s thing, but now he had to admit to some curiosity over those rocks too, “Now that Maud is off to get her Roctorate in Rock Science, this may be our last chance to trade rock candy necklaces for a really long time!”

“Roctorate?” Tom asked blankly.

“Tia and a few geologists thought they were being clever,” Luna replied. 

“I can’t wait for you all to meet her! I’m sure my Ponyville friends and my best sister friend are going to become bestest friends!” Pinkie cried while bouncing around. 

“I suddenly feel jinxed. Does anyone else feel jinxed?” Moon Dancer snarked. Pinkie then started extolling the virtues of her sister, listing off reasons why they’d all get along swimmingly. 

“Well, if our merry band of misfits can get along, I doubt there’s anything that’d stop Maud from being a part of it,” Rainbow quipped. 

“Shouldn’t the train be arriving right about now?” Coco asked quietly. Pinkie’s eyes bugged out and she bolted away at top speed. 

“So, should we do something to greet her? Go to the train station or make a poor imitation of a ‘welcome to Ponyville’ party?” Twilight wondered.

“I reckon I have an idea,” Applejack then laid out her plan of having a massive picnic. No one had any objections, so they all dispersed to collect food and drinks before reconvening near the lake. Rarity was last to arrive, wearing a hat studded in what appeared to be large chunks of clear quartz. 

“What’s with the hat?” Rainbow asked.

“Once must always make a fashionable first impression,” Rarity sighed, “But I couldn’t think of anything related to rocks on such short notice. I could’ve have used gems, of course, but I wasn’t sure how that would come across, so I settled for quartz.” As she said this, a piece of quartz fell off her hat and into a basket of muffins Applejack had brought. Before Rarity could attempt to fix her hat, Pinkie Pie appeared.

“We’re here!” How Pinkie had learned of their location was a mystery, but one did not dwell on the mysteries of the Pie. Pinkie pronked towards her friends.

“Where’s Maud?” Twilight asked.

“She’s right behind me!” Pinkie promised and everyone gathered to wait for Maud. Eventually Maud crested the hill, but when Pinkie said Maud wasn’t as fast as she was, she hadn’t been kidding. Maud’s pace was a slow, steady walk, the exact opposite of her sister’s energetic pronking. When she finally reached the group, she bent down to sniff at a rock before declaring it a sedimentary rock.

“You can tell that just from smell?” Tom was reasonably impressed. If he didn’t have a reference book next to him, he couldn’t tell the difference between the three kinds of rock. 

“I love rocks,” Maud declared in her monotone voice, as if that explained everything. Considering she was sisters with Pinkie that might just be the case. 

“Oh look, the Pies have been doubled,” Luna quipped. The Elements all displayed varying levels of mirth at that. The rest just assumed it was an inside joke. 

“Right, let’s all introduce ourselves,” Twilight suggested, “How about in order of age?” So introductions started with Luna and ended with Spike. 

“Pleased to meet you all,” Maud said once they were finished.

“Hey, do you study just rocks or do you study gems too?” Spike asked.

“Rocks are my passion, but gems are nice too,” Maud answered. 

“Glad ya’ll could make it ‘afore you headed off to school. Pinkie really cares about ya and it means the world to her that yer here,” Applejack told the elder Pie sister. A small smile graced her normally stoic visage.

“Pinkie is wonderful,” Even through her monotone the love she felt for her sister was clear. One didn’t need to be a Changeling to see that. 

“Hey everyone, let’s have at that picnic! I’m so glad everyone’s getting along!” Pinkie cheered as she scooped up a muffin and started chowing down. Everyone else joined her to start eating. Maud almost instantly found the quartz Rarity had accidentally dropped into the muffin basket and took a large bite out of it.

“Oh, are you OK?!” Fluttershy was first to exclaim. Maud continued to chew the quartz, utterly unconcerned. She swallowed before replying.

“I love rocks,” Everyone had enough experience with Pinkie that, to be honest, they may have been more shocked if Maud had been completely ordinary. 

“So, Maud, what do you do for fun?” Rainbow asked. Maud reached into a pocket and pulled out a small rock.

“This is my pet rock, Boulder, we play camouflage, which is like hide and seek, but way more intense,” Fluttershy seemed a little weirded out by the pet rock for some reason, but Luna thought that reaction was a bit silly. She herself had had a pet rock when she was just a filly. It brought back memories of simpler times. What didn’t bring back memories of simpler times was the game of camouflage. 

It was a basic game on the surface. Maud would hide Boulder in a field of rocks and everyone else would have to find him. Actually finding him was extremely difficult. The Changelings had refused to help, saying that their ability to find a rock suffused with love in a field of regular rocks would defeat the purpose. 

However, the Changelings were able to help in a different way: by serving as inspiration to Luna, Twilight, Moon Dancer, and Tom. Together they were able to devise a way to scan each rock for latent psyonic energy. It still took them all plus Rarity fifteen minutes to find Boulder but, instead of a task of hours of fruitless search, it was an easily manageable task. 

“You found him,” It was hard to tell, but Maud seemed mildly surprised. 

The picnic finished amiably about an hour later and everyone returned to their homes. The next few days were quite interesting, as Pinkie wanted Maud to have some one on one time with her friends. Unfortunately, not everyone was able to do so. Chrysalis had finally given into the inevitable and was making plans to visit the Crystal Empire. Luna was going along as equal parts body guard and babysitter. So while they prepared for that, they didn’t have the time to spend with Maud. 

Fluttershy was able to enjoy some tea with her, alongside Thorax, who had been visiting at the time. Thorax was able to admit to himself that he found Maud odd and disconcerting, but she was nice enough, he supposed. Even if she was obsessed with rocks. Although, that got Thorax wondering what it would be like to take up a hobby for himself.

Applejack’s time with Maud was best described as ‘messy’. She was in the middle of getting ready for cider season next month and Maud had somehow taken peel to mean smash with a rock. When asked, Maud had just said that the insides were now out, so there shouldn’t be a problem. Applejack decided to move her to applesauce duty after that. 

Twilight, Tom, Spike, and Moon Dancer were all treated to Maud’s long list of poetry. Some found it more enjoyable than others, but they were all willing to listen. Tom probably got the most enjoyment out of it. He enjoyed literature of all kinds and Shel Silverstein was probably one of his favorite poets, even if he was accused of being a hipster for it more than once. 

Poor Rarity had probably the worst time dealing with Maud. Their fashion senses were simply incompatible. Coco had to suppress some giggles watching Rarity nearly tear her mane out over Maud taking a liking to a dish rag. Coco personally found Maud’s fashion sense…refreshing. It was utterly devoid of the pretenses that plagued a lot of the fashion industry. Even Coco and Rarity weren’t immune to it. Maud didn’t have no fashion sense, as Rarity was probably thinking to herself at that moment. The cloth Maud had chosen matched her coat and eyes fairly well, even if it was just a dish rag. 

Rainbow Dash had no idea what she was getting herself into when she was challenged by Maud to a rock throwing contest. She just picked up the biggest rock she thought she could handle, and hurled it using all the might her wings could give her. She was pretty impressed with herself up until Maud threw her rock, which was twice the size and went so far beyond the horizon that all that was left to tell it had landed at all was a mushroom cloud of all things far off in the distance. Rainbow still didn’t know how a rock that size created a shockwave big enough to cause a tidal wave in the small lake they had been throwing by, but the evidence was dripping off of her.

“I guess you win this one, Maud,” Rainbow congratulated. 

“I’m not really into ‘winning’,” Suddenly up was down, left was right, and public speaking was afraid of Fluttershy. How could someone not like winning?! It went against everything Rainbow knew to be true! After that, Rainbow just wandered off in a daze of incomprehension. 

Later Pinkie gathered up the group, sans Chrysalis and Luna, and told them it was time to make the best friend rock necklaces. Everyone got kind of uncomfortable at that. Pinkie may play dumb sometimes, but she could be very observant.

“What’s wrong everyone? Aren’t you excited to make the best friend rock necklaces?!” Pinkie asked excitedly. No one really wanted to burst Pinkie’s bubble, so AJ shoved Tom to the front.

“Some friend you are!” Tom hissed back at AJ before facing Pinkie, “Now, Maud is a nice enough mare, don’t get it twisted. However, I don’t think any of us are at the ‘best friend’ stage yet. I’m certainly not. We’ve only known each other for a few days and barely three hours in total. The only thing I know about her is she likes rocks and she likes making poetry about rocks. I hate to say it, but not every friendship is built on such shallow grounds. Some take more time and more experience with each other,” Tom cringed inside as he watched Pinkie deflate a little more with every word. At the end, her mane had gone flat and she withdrew into Sugar Cube Corner.

“Well, that was awful,” Twilight remarked.

“I feel like I just kicked Fluttershy’s puppy,” Tom groaned before turning to give the stink eye to Applejack, “I am not impressed with that little stunt you pulled, AJ.”

“Someone had to do it,” Applejack pointed out.

“You could have asked!” Tom insisted.

“Would you have done it?” Applejack asked.

“That is a strong maybe. Doesn’t change the fact of what you did,” Tom continued to glare daggers at AJ.

“Alright, Ah’m sorry,” Applejack apologized. That freed up the group to continue feeling bad about not living up to Pinkie’s expectations with no distractions. 

“Maybe we should’ve pretended we were best friends with Maud?” Fluttershy suggested.

“That would’ve blown up in our faces real quick,” Moon Dancer remarked, “Deceptions like that require everyone be on board and I don’t think Maud would’ve gone along with it.”

“Quite right, darling. I think in this case honesty is the best policy, even if it hurts,” Rarity agreed. Tom thought it was fine and dandy of them to be talking about honesty now after he had been the one force to break the bad news, but he let it go. Then there was a knock on the door.

“Still a public library!” Tom shouted at the door, but he opened it nonetheless and there stood Pinkie, looking happy as ever.

“I’ve come up with just the thing to bring everyone closer together!” Pinkie exclaimed and she pronked around the library. Every one of them suddenly got a sinking feeling. They followed Pinkie anyway and soon discovered the crazy mare had built some kind of obstacle course.

“I call it the PinkieRainbowSpikeRariCocoTwiAppleTomFlutterDancerMaud Fun Time!” Pinkie explained.

“And that isn’t a mouthful,” Spike snarked. 

“It combines everyone’s interests into one giant activity that we can all enjoy together and it will totally bring all of my bestest friends together as bestestest friends!” Pinkie cheered at her great idea, “You’ll need these.” Pinkie pointed to what looked to be safety equipment.

“What are we even supposed to do?” Rainbow asked. So Pinkie geared up and showed them all the parts that were supposed to represent what each of them loved. Moon Dancer wasn’t the only one who thought it was a bit shallow to reduce their interests into a singular thing or activity, but she wasn’t of a mind to say it out loud. 

“Pinkie, what’s that last one?” Twilight asked, pointing to a very dangerous looking pile of rocks. Actually, it looked like they were about to avalanche any moment. 

“It’s a rock slide of course! For Maud,” Pinkie answered happily, “First you climb then you slide!”

“I feel like we should stop her before she gets hurt,” Applejack muttered.

“I agree with you, but what are we gonna do? Tie her to a chair until Maud leaves? Have you tried stopping Pinkie from doing something she wants to do?” Rainbow asked. Rainbow had tried once and swore never again. They all just had to pray that Pinkie knew what she was doing and that the rock slide wasn’t half as dangerous as it looked. 

No sooner than the words were out of Rainbow’s mouth than Pinkie got her hoof stuck in the rocks and her struggling to free herself caused an avalanche. The largest boulder at the top came plummeting straight down at Pinkie. 

Before Tom or Moon Dancer could so much as finish crafting a teleportation matrix to save Pinkie, Maud had moved at super pony speed to reach Pinkie and smash the boulder into dust with her bare hooves! To say the rest were dumbfounded would be an understatement. Maud then freed Pinkie by easily smashing the rock trapping her and carrying her down the rock pile.

“Pinkie, what were you thinking?!” Maud asked her voice full of worry for her younger sister as she hugged the pink party pony. 

“I guess I wasn’t…” Pinkie said ashamedly. 

“I know how important it is to you that your friends become my friends, but these things happen in their own time and sometimes it doesn’t happen at all. You can’t always fix everything with a harebrained scheme. Will I become friends with your friends? Maybe, but trying to force it is only going to hurt those chances. Do you understand?” Maud looked into her sister’s eyes. 

“I understand,” Pinkie said morosely. 

“Good. Now, do you want me to go back to the rock farm? I don’t want to cause you any undue stress,” Maud said gently.

“NO! Please don’t go. I don’t know when I’m going to see you again,” Pinkie was on the verge of tears.

“Silly Pinkie, you’ll see me over winter break,” Maud promised.

“But what if you get a coltfriend and want to spend the holidays with him? What if you have an end of term assignment and can’t come home? What if-” Maud stuffed a hoof in Pinkie’s mouth.

“Pinkie, I promise you, I will do everything in my power to see you during winter break. I’ll stay the last couple of days, but if I hear you scheming something to force your friends and me together, I’ll leave immediately, got it?” Pinkie nodded her head vigorously. 

The last two days of Maud’s stay in Ponyville passed uneventfully. No monster attacks, no friendship problems, just two sisters spending a little bit of time together.
> Crystal Peace
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 30: Crystal Peace


“You do realize they’re going to kill me,” Chrysalis said conversationally to Luna on the train to the Crystal Empire.

“They’ve known where you live for almost a month now. If they wanted to seek bloody vengeance, they would have done so already,” Luna pointed out reasonably, despite wanting to call her best friend a big baby for worrying so much. 

“Haven’t you heard of home field advantage, Lulu? They’re luring me to the seat of their power where they can strike me down ruthlessly and efficiently. I may have the lifespan of an Alicorn, but I’m not quite as durable,” Chrysalis made it all sound so reasonable. Luna scoffed.

“Really, I don’t think Twilight would take too kindly to her brother and sister-in-law murdering someone she ostensibly considers a friend. If you knew Shining Armor at all, you’d know he’d go to the ends of Equuis to make his sister happy,” Luna dismissed Chrysalis’ concerns.

“But what if she’s in on it?” Chrysalis asked in fake paranoia.

“Now you just sound like a conspiracy nut. If Twilight was in on it then Tom would have to be as well and I can’t see either of them condoning murder,” Luna rolled her eyes.

“I’m not mad! No, I’m the only sane one left!” Chrysalis exclaimed melodramatically. 

“I’ll be there to protect you, miss ‘only sane one left’,” Luna said patronizingly.

“I don’t think I like your sass, Lulu,” Chrysalis pouted. 

“Like it or not, we’ve arrived,” Luna remarked as the train’s brakes started squealing in an effort to stop the locomotive. 

“Time to face the executioner. Tell my children I love them!” Chrysalis cried as she stood to exit the train. 

“What a drama queen,” Luna said, not without affection. The pair exited the train and there on the platform stood Shining Armor and Cadence. 

“Princess Cadence, Prince Shining Armor,” Chrysalis greeted formally when she saw them and bowed politely. While she wasn’t nearly as nervous as she had played up to Luna, there was still some trepidation in her. 

“I am pleased to see you in good health, my niece, Prince Armor,” Luna said, ignoring the tense atmosphere. 

“Hello Auntie, Queen Chrysalis,” Cadence was still wary of the Changeling queen, but Luna was vouching for her, so she had agreed to the meeting. 

“I would like to start off by apologizing for what I did during your wedding,” Chrysalis began.

“Auntie Luna said you weren’t yourself at the time,” Cadence said graciously.

“Just because I was insane at the time doesn’t excuse what I’ve done,” Chrysalis argued. Why was she arguing? She should’ve just taken the handout, but something about that rankled her.

“Insanity is a legitimate defense, if anyone wanted to try you for your actions, you’d probably be declared not guilty based on an M’Neighten defense,” Surprisingly, it was Shining Armor who spoke up.

“Come again?” Chrysalis wasn’t familiar with all the legal proceedings of Equestria. 

“Most defense attorneys would probably argue that you were insane, due to starvation, and thus unable to appreciate that what you were doing was wrong at the time,” Shining explained. 

“I’ve invaded countries before what happened in Canterlot,” Chrysalis pointed out.

“Would you invade, say, the Griffons right now if you knew there would be no negative repercussions?” Shining asked insistently.

“No…I put my invading days behind me when I met Luna,” Chrysalis reluctantly admitted. 

“Then you were doing something you would normally never do under what most would consider extreme mental duress if not flat out insanity. When you were plotting to take over our wedding, did you know it was wrong?” Shining continued his questioning.

“The only thing I really remember from that time was wanting to see my children fed,” Chrysalis confessed.

“Most judges would consider that as begin unable to see what you did as doing wrong,” Shining told her, “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not exactly thrilled to have you here, but I’m not going to hold a grudge with someone who’s sorry for what they did and weren’t in complete control of their actions to begin with.”

“If you say so, but I still feel the need to make up for what I’ve done,” Chrysalis wasn’t completely sold on what Shining was saying, but she didn’t want to argue with him either.

“You’re helping Tom and my sister. That’s making up for it in my books,” Shining said simply. 

“If that’s good enough for Shining, then it’s good enough for me,” Cadence agreed with her husband, “Let’s head back to the castle, we can talk more there.”

“You and your husband are wise, Cadence,” Luna complimented as they walked. Cadence blushed slightly.

“I’m just doing what I think is right,” Cadence replied, “Although, I do have a question. How did Chrysalis come back to her senses?”

“Ah. That. Well, I suppose electroshock therapy was before your time, but that’s the best thing I can compare it to. That Love shield you both used was like an electric current to my whole body,” Chrysalis explained.

“I have heard of electroshock, but it sounds positively barbaric,” Cadence said with disgust.

“Electroshock therapy was quite common before my banishment. When used properly, it was surprisingly effective. However, these days there are better drugs and magical treatments that render electroshock obsolete,” Luna commented.

“Yes, most of the horror stories you’ve probably heard about it are either from fiction or criminal misuse,” Chrysalis added. Since it wasn’t a long walk from the station to the castle, the group arrived just as Chrysalis finished her sentence. The servants led them to a conference room, where they all sat at a table prepared with snacks.

“We weren’t sure what Changelings ate besides Love, so we got a little of everything,” Cadence said sheepishly.

“We can eat most things, but get very little nutrition from anything not made with Love,” Chrysalis picked up a loaf of bread and slice of pie in her magic, “Whoever made this loaf loved what they were doing, but the pie maker seems to be just going through the motions.”

“That makes “baked with love” a whole lot more literal,” Shining quipped. Chrysalis allowed herself a smirk.

“So, I have a few questions prepared, if you don’t mind?” Cadence asked.

“Go ahead,” Chrysalis waved her on.

“What is Changeling shape shifting? There are wards on and around The Royal Palace that would dispel most illusions,” Cadence inquired.

“Changeling shape shifting is almost entirely physical. When we change, we become whoever or whatever we shape shift into. There is a minor illusory part of it, but it’s mostly to smooth out any imperfections in appearance when replacing someone wholesale. I won’t claim to know exactly how it works; only that it does.” Chrysalis answered.

“I’m sure Twilight would love to spend some time figuring it out,” Shining remarked

“I’m sure she would, but for now it’s best not to distract her with mysteries that can remain a mystery a little longer,” Luna put in and Chrysalis nodded in agreement. 

“Alright, next question how did the two of you meet?” Cadence questioned as she took a pear for herself. 

“It was about six months before I was banished,” Luna began.

“For me it had been about a year since my children and I had fed properly. We had just come out of a nasty skirmish with the Deer, so we were a sorry sight when Luna came across us,” Chrysalis continued.

“Equestria was still relatively young after reforming in the wake of the Chaos Years Discord ruled over. Much of what we claimed to be our territory was still largely unexplored. When reports came in from a distant village of horrible bug ponies I and a team of my guard went to investigate. I thought it would be another routine job of exterminating a monster or at worse a corrupt necromancer. We were all surprised when that turned out to not be the case,” Luna recounted with a fond smile.

“When I spotted Luna and her guard I sprang to meet them and growled ‘leave my children alone’. My children and I were all in a sorry state from the fight a scant day and a half ago,” Chrysalis added.

““You talk?” I asked bewildered. Chrysalis sneered at me and said “Of course I talk, you simpleton”.” Luna giggled.

“Of all the things you remember…” Chrysalis groaned. 

“I saw they were weak and hurt, so I offered them sanctuary until they could recover,” Luna said, ignoring her friend’s complaint.

“I was naturally suspicious. Who just offers to help instead of exterminating an unknown threat? I asked as much,” Chrysalis remembered, “She said “Tis what Ponies do” I wanted to laugh at her, but my children needed help, so I took her offer and hoped I wouldn’t regret it later.”

“I took them all to our castle in the Everfree and saw to it they were fed and watered and cared for. I had learned on the journey that they subsisted mostly on Love, but could not feed on their own Love except for such miniscule scraps as to not be worth mentioning. That is how they survived their imprisonment. Chrissy squeezed every drop of Love she could from herself and kept her children in a state of suspended sleep most of the time to conserve their energy,” Luna reveled.

“Luna and many of the night staff greeted us with open arms. The day staff was slightly wary of us, but was respectful of their princess’ guest. The only one who seemed to have a real problem with us was Celestia herself,” Chrysalis sighed.

“Celestia has said that she was afraid of you and that may well be the case, but I wonder if she wasn’t also jealous of the time I spent with you,” Luna mused. 

“Whatever the case, after almost a month with Luna, we were ready to return to the Hive. No sooner than we were all inside than it was sealed shut. I had no idea what had happened at the time, but I had hoped that Luna would free us swiftly. As time passed that hope faded into despair and then rage. Eventually even that rage faded to nothing more than a pathetic ember. After a thousand years passed, the seal broke and you know the rest,” Chrysalis finished the tale. 

“I’m sorry you had to go through all that,” Cadence said quietly.

“It happened, it’s over, and you had nothing to do with it,” Chrysalis shrugged, “Now, we didn’t come all this way for you to hear two old mares prattling on about the past. We need to talk about the future.”

And so the two leaders began to talk about commerce, tourism, and all the other dreadfully boring things that are needed to keep two powers in a harmonious relationship.
> Applejack's Dilemma
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 31: Applejack's Dilemma


It had all started so innocently. With the warm weather months coming to a close, the Apple Family had taken one of the dwindling opportunities of the year to go swimming in the local swimming hole. Applebloom adored swimming, even if she couldn’t yet do so without water wings. 

“Hey Granny, why don’t you come join us?” Bloom asked while floating in the water. The old mare had then regaled them with a story of her youth. How she had been the only Apple to nearly break a high diving record, from six stories into a pie pan. Since then Granny Smith had given up swimming all together. Applebloom thought that was kinda silly, but didn’t get the chance to think about it as Big Mac donned a shark fin and spooked her something fierce. 

A little later, they had all packed up and were headed back home. Applebloom still couldn’t believe that her Granny Smith had used to be a high diver.

“The best in Ponyville,” Granny bragged.

“Do you think I could be a high diver?” Applebloom asked. Maybe she could get her Cutie Mark in it?

“Nope,” Big Mac instantly said. 

“Absolutely not,” Applejack agreed. 

“But-”

“Now you hold your horse feathers little seed. I never said bein’ a high diver was a smart decision. It’s incredibly dangerous!" Granny Smith interrupted.

“I know, but-” Applebloom was cut off again.

“But nothin’. It is the riskiest, scariest darn fool thing I ever did do! That’s not to say I don’t wish I was still young and spry and confident, BUT let’s leave the flyin’ through the air to the Pegasai,” Granny said with a wink. 

Applebloom was mostly convinced, although a part of her still wished she could try high diving at least once. Then, suddenly, a whole group of injured Ponies started walking past the Apple Family. Granny and Applebloom were curious enough to follow the crowd. Applejack and Big Mac eventually gave in to their whims and followed as well. As they drew closer, the sound of music started to reach them. Soon they were in sight of a large tent. They entered the tent and soon two horribly recognizable voices called out.

“Thank you one and all for your attendance! We guarantee your time here will not be spent in vain!” Called out the first voice.

“In fact, we think it will prove to be the most valuable time you’ve ever spent!” Called out the other voice as the curtains went up and revealed the Flim Flam Brothers. 

“This should be interestin’,” Applejack growled. 

“Eeyup,” Big Mac agreed with contempt for the two swindling Unicorns. 

“Welcome one and all to the demonstration of a lifetime!” Flim announced.

“A demonstration of a better life!” Flam continued.

“A demonstration of a better time!” Flim followed, “And if we haven’t captured your interest just yet, by the time we finish, an unfortunate phenomenon practically guarantees that we will!”

“A phenomenon? What’s that?!” Flam asked his brother.

“It’s a circumstance perceptible by the sense, but in this case, it’s the simple fact that-” And then Flim broke into song about their wonderful new tonic and how it would cure all that ails you.

“Saints preserve us, they’re actually selling snake oil,” Applejack turned to see Tom and Twilight had entered the tent.

“Sellin’ snake oil?” Applejack asked.

“It’s a term from back home. A con man used to claim his medicine was made with snake oil, which was supposed to cure all that ails you. Really what he was selling was beef fat and turpentine. Maybe the saddest part is that snake oil used to be part of Chinese folk remedies, but it was only a specific kind of snake rich in omega-3 fatty acids, which are really good for you. Well, good for humans at any rate,” Tom explained as they watched the Flim Flam Brothers “cure” a stallion in crutches.

“How’d they do that?” Applejack asked.

“Paid actors, which is probably the oldest trick in the snake oil selling book. I came here because I was in the market when I saw a whole bunch of ‘injured’ Ponies walking by instead of heading to the hospital. I have to say, when Twilight told me of your first encounter with these two, I thought she was exaggerating.  Now I don’t think she was selling it hard enough,” Tom mused as the brothers listed off just about every sickness under the sun that their elixir could supposedly cure. 

“Seriously, an elixir that can make you grow old? Well, at least they aren’t claiming to be selling- wait, never mind, they are trying to claim it’s the fountain of youth,” Twilight sighed in disgust.

“SOLD!” Suddenly Granny Smith shouted, waving a pile of bits in the air. 

“Congratulations, Granny Smith, you just made the purchase of a lifetime,” Flim smiled smoothly as he levitated a bottle of their brew to the old mare. 

“Are you as worried as Ah am?” Applejack asked.

“Eeyup,” Big Mac replied.

“If they’re selling anything like what the crooks tried to sell back home, then that’s a definite yes,” Tom responded.

“Granny Smith, I don’t think you should…drink that,” Twilight’s warning came too late as the elderly mare had already started chugging the contents. 

“Well, here’s to hoping it’s nothing too toxic,” Tom remarked dourly. Tom grumbled something under his breath and then purchased a bottle for himself and the brain trust back at Golden Oaks to analyze. Hopefully they could bust Flim and Flam on something. 

The next day AJ and Big Mac were trying to explain to Applebloom that when someone’s trying to sell something that’s too good to be true, it usually is, when Granny Smith came swimming down the river. 

The three on the riverbank panicked, but Granny Smith ignored their rescue attempts and proved to be perfectly capable of getting out of the water on her own. The three were understandably gobsmacked. 

“Granny, I thought you were afraid of the water and what about your hip?!” Applebloom exclaimed. Granny waved her off, saying that thanks to Flim and Flam’s formula, she was feeling better than ever. To prove her point, she chugged another bottle and started tap dancing like a mare half her age. 

“When I looked at the water this mornin’ I got all the same aches and pains, but one sip of that there magic elixir and it all went away! Why, I might even get a head start on my chores!” Granny said with cheer and then dragged Big Mac off to do some apple bucking… even though the next rotation of trees wouldn’t be ready for bucking for a week yet.

“Gee, it looks like that tonic works after all,” Applebloom remarked, “I wonder what’s in it.”

“I think we should go find that out,” AJ and Applebloom headed to Golden Oaks to see if they had cracked the formula. 

“MUAHHAHAH! IGOR, FETCH ME THE SALTPETER!”

“YES, MY MASTER!” 

"THOSE FOOLS WILL RUE THE DAY THEY CALLED ME MAD!!"

“Nope,” Applejack just turned around and shut the door. Spike came out a moment later.

“Don’t mind them, they’re just having too much fun playing mad scientist,” He shrugged.

“All that over tryin’ to figure out what’s in that soup Flim and Flam made?” AJ asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh, they figured out what was in it ages ago. It’s just apple juice and beet leaves. No, now they’re trying to “improve” it. Really I think they’re just having fun turning liquids different colors and sometimes having it explode,” Spike admitted.

“Really? Can I join?” Applebloom asked eagerly.

“No,” Applejack quickly shot her down, “Well, Ah suppose Ah can’t begrudge them too much fer wantin’ to have a little fun. If anyone needs it, it’s those three.”

“Yeah, well, I better go back in to make sure they don’t burn the place down in their excitement. See ya AJ, AB,” Spike reentered the library and closed the door behind him.

“So what’re we gonna do now? Iffen it’s just apple juice and beet leaves, then what can we do?” Applebloom asked her older sister.

“We go get them to confess, is what,” Applejack said firmly and the duo headed to the tent Flim and Flam were using. There they discovered the Earth Pony who had been ‘cured’ of his crutches when they had been there yesterday. As soon as Applejack called out to him, he bolted and AJ and Bloom gave chase.

They soon cornered him and it wasn’t hard to put together he was putting on costumes to pretend to be someone else for every show. Just as Tom had said, he was a paid actor. The sneaky stallion then pulled a lever and escaped in a cloud of steam. Applejack and Applebloom split up to catch him and AJ spotted him just as he fled into the tent. There she confronted Flim and Flam.

“Well, if it isn’t our most favorite Apple!” Flim cried out upon seeing her.

“What brings you back to our humble abode?” Flam inquired. The stallion, Silver Shill, hid behind Flim’s legs like a scared school filly. 

“You two charlatans sold my granny a bottle of apple juice and beet leaves! Now she’s off actin’ like a filly again and if she doesn’t stop she’s gonna hurt herself!”

“Now, you don’t know she’s going to hurt herself, do you?” Flim asked pointedly.

“Well, no, but-”

“And isn’t she much happier now than she was before she took our tonic?” Flam pressed the issue. 

“As I understand it, your granny was a famous aqua pony,” Flim remarked.

“The star of the show!” Flam agreed as he prepared to squeeze a fresh batch of tonic, “Once upon a time, that is.”

“She hasn’t so much as set hoof in the water since then, am I right?” How Flim knew that Applejack didn’t know. She didn’t like that one bit. 

“Until today, that’s right,” She begrudgingly admitted. 

“So even if our tonic is nothing more than apple juice and beet leaves…” Flim trailed off as he squeezed an apple and some beet leaves into a tonic bottle.

“Does it really matter if it makes your granny happy?” Flam concluded. 

“So now the question becomes, do you really want to be the pony who takes that happiness away?” Flim finished as Flam floated the fresh squeezed bottle over to her. Applejack just stormed out of the tent, catching Applebloom along the way.

“So, what happened?” Applebloom asked as she followed her older sister.

“Flim and Flam made a mighty good point and Ah ain’t happy about it one bit,” Applejack growled. 

“Are we gonna tell Granny what’s in the tonic?” Applebloom questioned.

“Ah don’t know. Are we right to take away somethin’ that makes Granny so happy? Even if it is a lie, maybe this one is OK?” Applejack sighed heavily. She wasn’t a philosopher or super book smart like Twi and the rest. Applejack resolved to visit Golden Oaks again first thing in the morning.

So it was that Applejack found herself knocking on the door of Golden Oaks and was soon let in.

“Aren’t ya gonna make a remark about this here bein’ a public library?” Applejack teased in an attempt to lighten her own mood.

“It’s before operating hours, so no. Hate to break it to you, but you’d need to come back in a couple of hours if you wanted to hear me repeat that gag,” Tom snarked around a yawn as he poured himself some orange juice, sacrilege that it was, “So, what brings you here at this early hour?”

“What Flim and Flam are doing ain’t right, but it’s makin’ Granny so happy. What do Ah do?” Applejack asked.

“Well, unless the law is different here in Equestria, the instant Granny Smith or someone else who bought the tonic files for false advertising, they’re busted. I know I can’t do so, because I bought the stuff knowing full well they were lying through their teeth. I’d have to check the laws in question, but I don’t believe you can file on Granny’s behalf unless she’s proven mentally incompetent. Of course, it’s always possible I’m talking outta my ass, so you can try to file false advertising. I’m not a lawyer. 

“Even if Ah can, should Ah?” Applejack wondered.

“I think that’s something only you can answer. However, consider this, Granny will most likely find out the whole thing’s been a hoax sooner or later and what’ll she think when she learns you’ve been keeping it from her?” Tom shrugged as he took a swig of his orange juice. 

“Yer right…Ah can’t hide this from Granny. No matter how it makes her feel right now, she’ll feel worse later if Ah keep it from her. Maybe once this whole thing blows over, she’ll remember that she was able ta swim well enough under her own power!” With that in mind, Applejack headed back to the farm, where she caught her family preparing to head back to the swimming hole.

“Granny, can Ah talk with you in private?” Applejack asked.

“Sure thing sugar!” They walked off a little ways, “Now, what’re ya’ll so worked up about?”

“Well, Granny, the thing is…that tonic you’ve been drinkin’ is a hoax. It’s nothing more than apple juice and beet leaves!” Applejack flinched away from what she was sure was going to be a very sad grandmother. 

“Oh Applejack…Did ya think I was born yesterday?! I was sussin’ out swindlers afore you were even a twinkle in yer mother’s eyes! Of course I can tell the taste of apple juice and beet leaves! We live on an apple farm!” Granny shouted.

“But- but- the swimmin’ the hip?!” Applejack stuttered out. Granny looked a slight bit ashamed of herself.

“When Bloom asked me to swim with ya’ll, I turned her down. I felt like a heel and wanted to make it right. Flim and Flam’s tonic was just a convenient excuse. Once I was back in the water, I remembered how much I loved swimmin’. After that, the lie just got a little outta hoof. I didn’t want Applebloom to think I was a grumpy old mare who wouldn’t have fun with her grandfoals,” Granny Smith confessed.

“Applebloom knows the tonic’s a lie too,” Applejack informed her. Granny blinked a few times, processing this.

“Well now I just feel like a fool,” Granny complained. 

“What’d ya say we run those Flim Flam Brothers outta town?” Applejack suggested. Granny Smith grew a predatory grin.

“That sounds like a mighty fine idea,” The pair made their excuses and went to take a piece of hide out of the scheming brothers. Unfortunately, when they got to where Flim and Flam had been set up, they found only a single, empty bottle. 

“Aw, shoot, looks like those rapscallions got while the gettin' was good,” Granny grumbled. Applejack picked up the bottle. 

“Well, I somehow doubt that’s the last we’ll ever see of those two. At least we’ll always have this dumb bottle to remember them by,” Applejack joked as she slipped it under her hat. She never saw the rainbow sliding over the bottle.
> Pulling Together
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 32: Pulling Together


Rainbow Dash was finally on the cusp of being accepted into the Wonderbolts! Now that Wind Rider was officially booted out of the Wonderbolts, Spitfire had been able to fast track her into acceptance. Now all that stood between her and her goals was a test on the history of the Wonderbolts. 

As much as Rainbow liked to play it cool when things were bothering her, she honestly wasn’t feeling all that stressed about her test. No, for whatever reason, Twilight was the one having a freak out over someone else’s test. Not that Rainbow felt she should be particularly surprised by that. Secretly Rainbow thought Twilight enjoyed worrying over every little thing. It was weird, but if it made her happy, who was Rainbow to judge?

That was how Rainbow wound up sitting at a desk with a book as big as she was and easily three times as heavy plopped in front of her. 

“Twilight, call me crazy, but I don’t think Rainbow is going to learn much just by trying to memorize facts out of a book,” Tom quipped. Rainbow felt a rush of affection for the Human. Anything to get out of reading the tombstone before her.

“Nonsense, this is how teaching is done,” Twilight ignored him.

“OK, just ignore the guy with the degree in education. It’s not like he’d have any idea what he’s talking about…” Twilight completely ignored Tom’s sour expression. 

“Alright, but how am I supposed to get this entire huge book into my tiny head,” Tom snickered at Rainbow’s word choice, “Aw, shaddup.”

“With my handy dandy study check list, of course!” Twilight exclaimed happily, having Tom levitate said check list to Rainbow. First on Twilight’s list was reading and highlighting. Rainbow had no idea what Twilight meant when she said to ‘separate the wheat from the chaff’ so she just marked everything with the marker she had been provided with. Twilight was not impressed, but Tom seemed to find it amusing. Who he was laughing at, Rainbow wasn’t sure. Probably Twilight, although it might be both, seeing as Rainbow drew pictures in the books.

“I really like how you captured Twilight’s essence here,” Tom snarked as he showed off her drawing of Twilight. Twilight was not amused. 

“OK, so reading and highlighting isn’t your thing. Let’s go with the tried and true: A lecture!” Twilight decided.

“Twilight, you’re teaching one on one here, not an auditorium full of college kids or even a regular class room. A lecture is only going to put Dash to sleep,” Tom protested. 

“Nonsense, everyone learns best with a good lecture,” Twilight waved him off.

“You know, I almost don’t want to break that naive little heart of yours,” Moon Dancer spoke up, “But I don’t want you doing something dumb which leads to you and Rainbow having a fight, so… Twilight, not everyone learns like you do.”

“I- Moon Dancer, what do you mean? You and I were top of our class. That has to mean our way of studying is best!” Twilight sounded shocked and appalled. 

“Twilight, you and Moon Dancer were top of your class because you both had a voracious hunger for knowledge. Tell me, how many lectures do you actually remember and how much of your tests were you just copying straight from the book? I don’t know how it is in the Equestrian education system, but back home, students would lose points for taking directly from the book unless instructed to do so,” Tom told her.

“Uh, there was that one lecture with…but what about the lecture about…oh my stars, I can’t remember a single specific lecture,” Twilight started breathing heavily.

“Twilight, relax, you’re a visual learner. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just how you learn best and how you retain the most information, by reading. Rainbow here could be an auditory learner, so she’d learn best from something like a song or a mnemonic device. She could be a kinesthetic learner, learning best by doing a physical activity related to the subject material. She could even be none of the above. In an ideal world, it’s a teacher’s duty to find out what kind of learner their students are and teach them in the way that works best for them. In an even more ideal world, students would be tested for what kinds of learner they are and sent to teachers that would best suit their needs,” Teaching was something Tom had grown passionate about over the course of his own education. He himself was an auditory learner. He learned best when he had a song about the subject, or failing that, listening to music while he read on the subject matter.

“I guess that makes sense…sorry for trying to force you to my way of thinking, Rainbow,” Twilight apologized. 

“No harm no foul,” Rainbow replied breezily. Then Rainbow’s stomach growled.

“Right, we can reconvene with our attempts to find Rainbow’s learning style after breakfast,” Tom decided and they all adjourned to the kitchen, where Spike was already making scrambled eggs. 

“Thanks Spike,” Twilight said gratefully, even if she couldn’t actually eat anything.

“You’re a lifesaver!” Rainbow happily declared as she sat at the table. 

“Someone had to keep Twi from starving to death during those long study sessions,” Spike snarked, “First round, ready up!” 

Once breakfast was finished and the dishes cleaned, everyone headed outside.

“I think as far as preliminary testing goes, why don’t we gather up the whole crew and see if they have any ideas? I can’t come up with a song to save my life, so hopefully one of the others will be able to,” Tom suggested. So they gathered up everyone and brought them up to speed.

“Oh, I have an idea, if that’s alright with everyone,” Fluttershy spoke up first. So that was how Opal and Angel Bunny wound up dressed as Luna and Celestia on a stage that the Ponytones usually used. 

“I don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted by the cat playing me,” Luna drawled. 

“Oh, um, I’m sorry,” Fluttershy quickly apologized.

“It’s fine Fluttershy, I was joking,” Luna assuaged the yellow Pegasus’ fears. They watched as all the local pets put on a show. It didn’t go as well as they hoped. Rainbow had difficulty telling who was supposed to be who and what was going on. It wasn’t helped by the pets accidentally knocking down all the props.

“I, uh, I don’t think I’m going to learn much like this,” Rainbow said uncertainly.

“Aw, come on Dashie, that was amazing! Buuuut, if plays aren’t your thing, then maybe I can help!” Pinkie then broke into a rap song of all things and somehow Vinyl was there too. There was a strong desire to ask, but ‘It’s Pinkie Pie, Don’t Question It’ eventually won out. Alas, Rainbow didn’t seem to pick up much from the song either.

“I mean, maybe it’ll take a few repeats to get it to sink in?” Tom suggested.

“We don’t have time for that!” Rainbow cried. Rarity was next to step up to the plate. Her idea was another take on visual learning, showing Rainbow the fashions each iteration of the Wonderbolts wore and what happened during its tenure as the Wonderbolts uniform. Rainbow was quickly overwhelmed.

“You know, I kinda like this bomber jacket. Mind if I keep it, Rarity?” Tom asked while Applejack was talking Rainbow down.

“Go ahead, darling, I wouldn’t have much use for it,” Rarity replied.

“Thank you~!” Tom was inordinately pleased by his new acquisition. He then followed Rainbow and AJ outside just as he heard AJ tell Rainbow she was up a creek.

“That’s not helpful Applejack!” Twilight called after her. 

“Mayhap Dame Rainbow learns best as I do, by doing,” Luna suggested.

“Give me an hour or so and I can set up a game of Jeopardy. We can play a few games and hopefully that’ll help it sink in,” Tom answered hopefully.

“Can I come with?” Rainbow asked.

“Of course! It might even be beneficial if you watch me set the whole thing up,” Tom took to the air with Rainbow close behind. Tom and Twilight were swapping ideas on subjects and questions and answers. Rainbow was paying attention to what they were saying with one ear. It sounded exactly like the kind of egghead thing Twilight would enjoy, but if it helped her, she wasn’t going to knock it. Rainbow was even asking a few questions along the way.

Tom and Twilight were so engrossed in their conversation that they didn’t notice anything around them, so it came as a complete surprise when Rainbow shoved Tom away.

“What the heck, Rainbow?” Then he watched as Cherry Berry’s pedal-operated helicopter flew right past where he had been flying, “…Well that certainly would have been painful.”

“Yeah, you two were jabbering on so much you didn’t even notice,” Rainbow told them with a smile.

“But how did you notice? You were listening to us and even asking questions?” Twilight asked. 

“You both are still rookies. Every experienced flyer knows how to multitask,” Rainbow explained.

“Really now,” Twilight was surprised.

“Yeah, it’s second nature to almost every flyer. Yes, I was paying attention to you two, but I was also scanning the sky and ground for any problems,” Rainbow revealed, “Flying isn’t just flapping your wings. You gotta see and hear everything down to the littlest detail.” Rainbow then went on to list all the things she had seen and heard during their flight. Twilight gasped in realization.

“I think we just figured out what kind of learner you are, Rainbow,” Tom said with a smile.

“And not a moment too soon,” Twilight agreed. 

“What, for real?” Rainbow asked eagerly.

“Meet us at Golden Oaks in an hour and a half. We’ll then head to your house. I promise we’ll have you learning the history in no time at all,” Tom promised and zipped away. 

Ninety minutes later and Rainbow was expectantly hovering in front of Golden Oaks. Tom and Twilight walked out and took to the skies as well.

“Let’s head to your place. I’ll tell you our plans there,” Tom instructed and they were off.

“So, how’s the team looking for the Games?” Twilight asked.

“They’re doing great. Ponyville’s gonna be proud of ‘em. I know I am,” Rainbow replied happily, “What about your squad?”

“Lyra’s been almost insufferable since those articles came out, but other than that I’m confident we’ll make a good showing,” Tom answered.

“Yeah, I heard Cloud Kicker joking to Bon Bon the other day about not being invited to the harem,” 

“Well, we are lacking a Pegasus,” Tom snarked.

“Don’t encourage them Tom,” Twilight groaned as they touched down at Rainbow’s house.

“So, what’s this super study idea you two had for me?” Rainbow asked impatiently.

“Well…what do you remember about our flight?” Twilight asked with a huge grin.

“Nothing special, other than after Luna was banished to the moon, Celestia needed protective forces, so Earth Ponies, Unicorns, and Pegasai formed the EUP guard of the Protective Pony Platoons,” Rainbow rattled off like it was second nature. Her eyes went wide as she realized what she had just said. Twilight and Tom were grinning like loons. 

“Go on,” Tom told her.

“And, at the celebration of the first Celestial Year of Peace, an elite flying squadron preformed, headed by General Firefly, who later named the group the Wonderbolts!” Rainbow exclaimed.

“Uh huh,” Twilight encouraged.

“Commander Easy Glider established flight choreography that is still used by the Wonderbolts today! I know the history! I know it all! But how?! What hoo doo magic did you two use on me?!” Rainbow demanded to know.

“No magic, just your own personal learning style,” Twilight answered.

“You’re a subliminal learner, Dash. You won’t learn much by trying to get facts forced on you through your conscious mind, but your subconscious is like a steel trap. So if you’re doing something else, like say flying, and things are presented to you in the background, like signposts held up for you to casually observe and people shouting certain phrases while you’re focused on flying, then you’ll learn at quite a rapid pace,” Tom explained. The signs had been Twilight’s idea after Tom had explained to her exactly how subliminal learners tended to operate, with podcasts and lectures to listen to while they were working out or doing chores and such.

“The whole town agreed to help you, Rainbow. They all want you to succeed. We couldn’t have done it without their help,” Twilight said softly. 

“I…wow, that’s just incredible,” Rainbow felt herself go misty eyed.

“You have the tools you need. Now get out there and ace that test tomorrow!” Tom shouted.

“YEAH!” Rainbow shouted back, “Right after I go thank everyone.” 

The next day, Rainbow sat for her test. She’d be lying if she said her heart wasn’t beating harder than usual in her chest, but with the help of her friends, she was confident she knew all the answers. One by one the questions came and one by one the answers rose from her subconscious as if she had known them all her life. 

When she was finished, she turned in her test to the examiner. He took it, looked it over. Rainbow grew anxious as he looked at her and back at the test multiple times. Finally he slammed the test back down on his desk. For a heart stopping moment, Rainbow thought she had failed, but then the examiner slapped a shiny gold 100% sticker on the test. Rainbow spent the rest of the day celebrating with all of Ponyville.
> The Real Equestrian Games
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 33: The Real Equestrian Games


The Equestrian Games were upon them. Some were resting, saving their strength for the Games. Others were squeezing in that last bit of exercise before the Games started, hoping to push their performance to the limit. Still others were just goofing off, trying to ignore the tension coiled like a spring around each and every one of them.

Rainbow’s team was universally in the second category. They were doing minor weight lifting, wing ups, and crunches. Rainbow sure had been surprised the first time she watched a Changeling, with their insect-like wings, doing a wing up. 

Twilight, Tom, and Moon Dancer were all reading, to everyone’s great surprise. Truthfully, the trio was anxious because their cloning experiments were almost bearing fruit. They had been able to clone a feather, some hair from the mane and tail, and fur. Before they were ready to call it a success, they were going to clone a full organ: Twilight’s kidney. 

Lyra, on the other hoof, had not a care in the world. She was confident the crash course training she had undertaken when first inducted into S.M.I.L.E put her head and shoulders above the rest of the competition. So she was napping away as the train moved closer to the Crystal Empire.

The Earth Pony team shared a mind with the Pegasus team, jamming in as much practice as possible before the Games started. Applejack, Big Mac, and Bonnie were taking turns spotting each other in various exercises. 

As the Crystal Empire came into view, Rainbow gathered everyone into a single car and gave her speech.

“I know each and every one of you has worked hard to prove you’re the best Ponyville has to offer. In each of our individual qualifiers, we all passed with flying colors. However, the Games will be bigger than that. There will be events that weren’t part of the qualifiers. You all know this. You all have prepared for this. I don’t care where we place as a whole. You’ve all made me so proud. Despite that, I know none of you will be satisfied unless we go out there and give it everything we’ve got! WHO HAS THE BEST TEAM?!”

“PONYVILLE!” The assembled all shouted out. 

“And don’t you forget it. Alright everyone, get your stuff together, we disembark in two minutes,” Rainbow watched as everyone dispersed to make sure their luggage was ready for transport to the hotel. 

“That was so cool, Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo squeaked. 

“Thanks Squirt. I know you’ll look even cooler when you and the rest of the CMC take the field with Ponyville’s flag,” Rainbow told her earnestly.

“Aw, shucks,” Scoots blushed.

“Thanks, Rainbow,” Applebloom said with a smile.

“No tree sap around this time~” Sweetie snarked and the other two CMC started giggling.

A couple of minutes later, the train had arrived and everyone was getting off. Spike was a massive help in keeping the luggage organized. Many shuddered to think the state of everyone’s luggage had Spike not been there. Normally Twilight would have been there to help as well, but she and Tom were busy making sure everyone was properly registered for their events in the Games. 

Spike had just finished putting everything on the trolley when he was snatched up by two Crystal Pony guards. They ran at top speed and before Spike could do much more than shout in surprise, he was deposited before Cadence.

“Oh dear, sorry about that Spike. I told them to fetch you, but I didn’t think they’d do it so…eagerly,” Cadence apologized. The two guards blushed in embarrassment.

“We apologize, Spike the glorious and magnificent,” One of them said before both of them bowed away. 

“‘Spike the glorious and magnificent’?” Spike asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“The Crystal Ponies as a whole consider you a hero for what you did to help overthrow Sombra. There’s even a statue of you,” Cadence pointed and Spike looked to see a giant statue of himself. 

“That’s pretty cool!” Spike exclaimed. He’d never been a real hero before! It was always the girls and recently Tom too who were the heroes. 

“Yes, and we were hoping you’d do us the honor of lighting the Torch at the opening ceremony,” Cadence told him.

“Of course! Anything for my adoring public,” Spike replied with a huge grin.

So it was the next day, with people from all across Equuis in attendance, the Opening Ceremonies were about to begin. Everyone from Celestia and Luna on down was in attendance. Ponies from Saddle Arabia, ambassadors from Griffonstone, Delegations from Neighpan, and of course Chrysalis was sitting proudly next to Luna. 

“Good day, your Highnesses,” Tom greeted as he bowed before taking a seat to the right of Celestia that had Twilight’s Cutie Mark emblazoned upon it. 

“I wish we could be sitting with our friends,” Twilight sighed.

“At least we’ll be down there with them when we compete in three day’s time,” Tom quietly comforted. 

“Three days of you being forced to rub shoulders with the big wigs,” Twilight’s tone took a mischievous bend, “Are you sure you’ll survive?” Tom didn’t dignify that with a response. What he did spot was Spike walking up to the Torch.

“Is Spike supposed to be there?” Tom asked. All he got in response was a cheeky grin from Cadence. The Flag Ceremony began before Tom could try and get real answers out of Cadence, so he contented himself to watching as the various towns of Equestria put on their own song and dance. Twilight went wild when it came to be Ponyville’s turn, but Tom controlled himself after seeing a sideways glance and a shadow of a smirk on Celestia’s face. She knew exactly how her former student was reacting. 

Once all the flags were planted, Spike slowly climbed up to the Torch and after a few false starts, lit it with his fire breath. Twilight felt proud of her number one assistant for pulling through. 

With the Opening Ceremony finished, the crowd dispersed; ready to reconvene tomorrow for the Earth Pony events. Ponyville celebrated a job well done by the CMC and Spike back at the hotel they were staying at. Night fell soon after and inevitably, day followed. 

“Hoo boy, I’m more nervous than a cat in a rockin’ chair factory,” Applejack muttered as the MC said a few words before the first event of the Games. 

“Eeyup,” Big Mac agreed. 

“We’re all going to be just fine. We’ve put in the work, now it’s just a matter of finishing what we started. Aren’t you Apples supposed to be good at that?” Bonnie teased. 

“Hardy har Bonnie, but ya’ll have a point,” Applejack admitted.

“And now we bring you our first event of the Games! The 400 meter dash! Competitors, to the starting line!” The MC called out.

“Well, that’s mah cue,” Applejack sighed and stepped out onto the field and took her place besides about 14 other Earth Ponies. AJ took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Every muscle in her body tensed, ready to spring into action. She’d finish this dash so fast she’d show Rainbow a thing or two about speed! 

The referee shot the blank into the air and Applejack was off like a mare with her tail on fire. It really wasn’t all that different from the Running of the Leaves back home. The pounding of other’s hooves trying and failing to keep up with her own, but this wasn’t some race in name only. This was a genuine competition. 

Suddenly, before Applejack even realized it, she was past the finish line. 

“…And Ponyville takes the silver in the 400 meter dash!” Applejack was panting from the exertion, but was overall pleased with herself for getting second place in the event. 

The next event was the snatch. That meant it was Big Mac’s turn to take the field. She watched as Big Mac stepped up to a very large dumbbell grabbed it in his mouth to start hefting it. Big Mac was the strongest stallion she knew. She had seen him carrying whole houses around, for crying out loud! With minor difficulty, he brought the weight up to above his head. He held it there for a moment before letting it drop. 

This cycle continued until Big Mac finally met his match at 852 KGs. He barely managed to lift it and set it back down before tapping out. When all was said and done, Big Mac had taken first place and tied for the world record. Applejack couldn’t be prouder of her brother. 

Next up was the hoof wrestling event. That was where Bonnie came in. What she lacked in raw strength, she more than made up for in technique. The hoof wrestling event would take place in a single elimination style tournament. 

Bonnie made her way through her opponents with varying amounts of trouble. She nearly lost her second match as it was against a mare who looked like she could bring down Big Mac, but Bonnie prevailed. Even though her fetlock felt like it was about to fall off afterward. Her final opponent wound up being a stallion with a wiry build, but a smooth layer of muscle was easy to see under his coat. He and Bonnie were matched evenly for almost a whole minute. Then Bonnie’s muscles twitched and her opponent seized that moment of weakness to slam her hoof to the table. 

The next event was one shared across every tribe: the relay race. Bonnie would start them off as the one most comfortable getting going from a cold start, then Big Mac would take the baton and while he wasn’t the fastest, he was a stable runner, and then finally AJ would bolt for the finish. They ran a good race, but ultimately came in fourth. 

After a quick intermission for lunch, the next event was the 5000 meter run. This was Applejack’s favorite event. She could take an even pace for most of it before pouring on the speed. The 5000 meter run wasn’t exactly rocket science. Applejack and the other 14 Ponies in the race all took off from the starting line. A couple tried to get an early lead by running faster than the rest of the pack, but they soon regretted it when they were tired and those that had gone at a steady trot passed them by. At about the 100 meter mark, everyone broke into a dead sprint. AJ managed to place a respectable third in that event. 

The penultimate event of the day was the discus throw, handled by Bonnie. Of the three of them, she had done the best with the discus. AJ could never get the timing right and Big Mac just got dizzy. Even being the best of the three, none of them were particularly gifted in this event, but Bonnie still managed to scrape a 5th place finish. 

Finally was the endurance bench pressing event. Everyone would be hefting 50kg dumbbells and whoever lasted the longest would place first. Sounded simple enough, but the competitors also had to do at least one rep every 20 seconds or be disqualified. Thanks to Twilight and Tom’s research, Big Mac knew that for best efficiency he had to lower the weight down to his chest over the course of a second or two and then ram the weight back up as fast as he could. 

Everyone started off strong. The weights weren’t that heavy for an Earth Pony, after all. Five minutes in and they were starting to feel the burn. Ten minutes and the first of the competitors had dropped out. Fifteen minutes and there were only a few left still struggling to complete their reps in time. Twenty minutes and it was down to Big Mac and a mare half his size. 

How she was managing to keep up with him was something he could think about later. Right now he had to focus. The same rhythm, up down up down, repeated over and over again. He was used to exerting himself for long hours on the farm, but the weight was quickly becoming more than he could bear. He was slowing down. He knew better than to panic and push himself harder. That would only tire him out even more and he needed every little bit of energy he could muster. Just when he was sure his legs were about to give out:

“It’s over folks! Big Macintosh of Ponyville has won the gold for endurance bench pressing!” Big Mac’s spotter quickly grabbed the weight and set it in its hold. Big Mac limply lay there, unable to will his muscles to do anything. He didn’t need to move at all. The Ponyville team as a whole swarmed the field to carry him off to rest and celebrate the night away.





Dawn rose on the second day of the Equestrian Games. Even if it was called the Pegasai day, it was open to all flyers, as attested to by the griffon athletes that were participating and Ponyville’s Changelings. Rainbow Dash was on the verge of giving another speech, but felt in this case silent support was called for. 

The first event was a simple wing up event. This event allowed more than one representative per town, so Cloud Kicker and Pharynx were both competing. Whoever did the most wing ups before collapsing won. It wasn’t flashy, but Cloud took second with 6,456 wing ups and Pharynx took third with 6,342. 

After that was the 400 meter flight. Rainbow, having the fastest 0 – max speed of almost any modern Pegasus was a natural choice for this event. Luna had told her that when she was a Pegasus, before ascending, her 0 – max speed was even faster. Rainbow wasn’t sure if she believed the Alicorn, but it was always nice to have a goal to strive for. At the moment, she easily took the gold in the 400 meter flight. 

The final event before lunch was the 8 klick endurance flight, Fluttershy’s area of expertise. With the advent of Flutterbat, Fluttershy had become able to expend almost no energy while still maintaining a respectable flight speed. How she was able to do that, even Luna wasn’t quite sure, but the facts of the matter spoke for themselves. So it was that Fluttershy was able to push on at speed while her competitors were gasping for air. She easily earned the Ponyville Flight Team their second gold medal. 

After lunch it was the three winged race, with Derpy and Pincer partnering up. When Rainbow had first heard the three winged race was going to be one of the events, she had wanted herself and Fluttershy to be the pair. Derpy and Pincer had managed to out fly them at every turn, earning them the spot. The two somehow worked in perfect harmony and earned Ponyville another silver medal.

Once that was finished, it was the aerial acrobatics competition. Derpy and Fluttershy soared through the air with absolute grace, beauty, and confidence. It was like watching one of those old timey ballerina performances Rainbow’s Mom had dragged her to when she was a filly. Fluttershy and Derpy flew with each other with an ease born of their long practice. They earned Ponyville a bronze, but Rainbow and many others felt the pair had been robbed.

The final event of the day was the traditional relay race. The order and those that would compete had been adjusted from the Rainbow Falls tryouts. Rainbow would be taking advantage of her natural talent for going from 0 - max speed to start the race off right. Fluttershy would take the second leg of the race with her steady speed. Pharynx would take all he had learned and use it to push for a strong finish. Rainbow had felt bad for removing Cloud Kicker from the lineup, but the mare had asked for it herself, so there was no point arguing. Cloud Kicker could almost be as stubborn as Rainbow and they all wanted Ponyville to have the strongest showing possible for their first Games. 

As soon as the gunshot went off, Rainbow kicked off and reached just sub Rainboom speeds in seconds. Fluttershy, expecting Rainbow’s meteoritic start, accepted the baton from the prismatic mare without her losing any speed. Fluttershy was by no means the fastest, but the lead Rainbow had given them to start with meant she was still a little bit ahead of even the fastest of the 2nd leg racers when she gave the baton over to Pharynx. The Changeling’s wings beat furiously as he squeezed ever drop of speed out of them. Many teams had arranged for their fastest to go last and he crossed the finish line in a photo finish with Cloudsdale’s Spitfire. 

Half an hour passed while the judges examined the pictures. Many would be nervous in such circumstances, but not the Ponyville team. Silver or gold, it was still an excellent showing and they were already celebrating when the judges announced they were unable to determine who came in first, thus Ponyville and Cloudsdale were awarded the gold jointly and Manehatten was awarded the bronze. 





The final day of the Games was upon them. In the interest of fairness, Twilight and Tom had decided to only participate in the relay race and the final event. Lyra and Moon Dancer would be handling all the other events.

To start off the day the first event was the relay race. Despite Tom’s efforts, Lyra was easily the most physically fit of the three. Even Lyra was little more than just above average when it came to physical fitness. It was no surprise when Ponyville’s Unicorn team placed 9th in the relay. 

The second event was magical power lifting. Weighted balls of cold iron were used in increments of 2 kilos. Cold iron was used because otherwise some Unicorns could heft upwards of 5500 kilos, such as Twilight Sparkle before her ascension. Cold iron wasn’t as magic retardant as the Rings of Scorchero, but it wasn’t far off either. Moon Dancer would be handling this event.

Moon Dancer easily breezed by the first few weights. She started noticing the heft when she reached the 10 kilo weight. A sweat was breaking out on her brow when she reached the 30 kilo weight. She could barely lift the 44 kilo weight. The 46 kilo weight refused to move at all. 

Moon Dancer was one of the first to make her attempt, so she got to watch as many of her peers failed to even breech the 30 kilo weight. She allowed herself a feeling of smug pride as the final Unicorn made it to the 44 kilo weight but couldn’t get it to budge. 

“Well done, Moon Dancer,” Tom and Twilight complimented and Moon Dancer felt she was walking on sunshine. 

Last before lunch was the rapid fire accuracy event. Lyra’s training had her on equal footing with the Solar Guard Unicorns that were participating for Canterlot’s team. When it was over, Lyra felt she could’ve won if she had gone all out, but ultimately she had chosen to take accuracy over speed. Still, she was happy with her silver medal. The kiss Bonnie planted on her made her feel like a gold medal winner anyway. 

Once everyone had returned from lunch, the next event was a test of how many spells one could successfully perform. This was another event Moon Dancer was confident she had in the bag. If Twilight had still been a Unicorn and competing against her, she might have been worried, but no other Unicorn she knew of came close to the sheer number of spells she had memorized. 

Thankfully, it wasn’t a magical endurance test, only a test of how many spells one could cast, so there were mana crystals on standby to help replenish those with smaller Mana Fonts. Moon Dancer went through three of those crystals herself when showing off each of her 128 spells. The only one who came close was an orange Unicorn stallion with a scraggy goatee competing for the Crystal Empire. He preformed 112 spells and he went through a full ten of the mana crystals to do so. Moon Dancer couldn’t help but think it was a shame for someone who was so talented to be held back by their Mana Font. 

Before the final event, there was the javelin throw event. For Unicorns, this event was just as much about finesse as it was about raw power. To keep it from devolving into a contest of how far a Unicorn’s magic could reach, they were only allowed to touch the javelin with their magic inside the designated ring. Lyra stepped up for this event. She didn’t have the raw power of Twilight or even Moon Dancer, but her finesse was second to none. Her Special Talent was manipulating stringed instruments, after all. She earned a solid third place.

Then there was the final event, the one that many argued was the most exciting of the whole Games. It would test any Unicorn and one Alicorn to their absolute limit. 

On the field, there had been installed seven rings, the largest of which was about 15 meters in diameter and each subsequent ring was about a meter smaller in diameter. Those rings were industrial strength anti-magic rings, the type used in Null Magic Research and around modern prisons that housed Unicorns. The first was a minor dampener and the seventh ring theoretically extinguished all magic that came within it. Supposedly even Discord would be powerless inside the seventh ring. The only reason it was included in the event was because seven was a magically important number and helped the other rings function. 

The event had a Unicorn hold a golf ball in their magic and walk into the rings. Each ring awarded points for how long you stayed within without dropping the golf ball. The first ring gave 1 point per second, second ring gave 2 per second, and so on. Once you crossed into a ring, you could not retreat into a lesser ring. 

Tom was going last in the event. So he sat quietly as he watched each competitor enter the rings and eventually leave. He felt more nervous than he did before his first performance with his college theater troupe! His heart was thundering in his chest, although he hadn’t moved since he had come back from lunch. 

“Tom, what’s the matter?” Twilight asked in his mind.

“Nothing’s wrong,” He lied. He knew full well why he was like this. He didn’t want to embarrass Twilight. He didn’t want to fail Ponyville. He had kept count; Ponyville and Cloudsdale were tied in medal placement. It would be a huge upset if Ponyville took home the title. He watched as the Unicorn from Cloudsdale put up a strong 50 points. He had gone directly to the 5th ring and stood there for ten seconds before his golf ball dropped. This event was just as much about mind games as it was the actual scoring. Could Tom match his performance? He had to at least try.

At long last, his turn came. He grabbed the golf ball in his magic and marched straight into the 5th ring. It might’ve been a mistake. He should’ve eased himself into the anti-magic rings. Five seconds in and he was already feeling his grasp on the golf ball weaken. His magic aura was fizzling.

“NO!” He shouted with all his might and closed his eyes in intense focus, summoning up every scrap of Willpower he possessed. Suddenly images flashed before his mind’s eye. The first time he had picked up a slice of haybacon in his telekinetic grasp. The first time he had teleported with Twilight’s instruction. The first time he had felt the Magic of Harmony flow through him via Twilight at Canterlot High.

Suddenly a feeling of Power thrummed through his Heart. It was unlike anything he had felt before. His wings flared out of their own accord and his eyes snapped open. He couldn’t see himself, but they were glowing white. It felt like the rings didn’t even exist. He confidently strode forward, past the 6th ring and directly into the middle of the 7th and final ring. The Magic Killer ring. 

Nothing had felt so right in all his life. He felt he could do anything with this boundless power! A part of him knew that was the power talking, but he paid it no heed as the rings all began to melt around him. Magic itself had called his name and his Heart and Soul were responding. Tom was experiencing his first Surge and boy was it a doozy.  

“That is quite enough for now, my little pony,” A gentle voice called out amidst the raging storm of Power and Magic. Suddenly it was snuffed out like a candle. Tom collapsed like a puppet with his strings cut, although he was still awake. 

“What a rush!” He breathed heavily.

“I believe that answers your question of whether or not you’ll be allowed to inhabit an Alicorn body,” Celestia whispered quietly to him. 





Of course, after Tom’s display, he was carried off to bed while Ponyville as a whole, both those in the Empire and those back home, partied with wild abandon. Alicorns were also immediately banned from future Games. That much raw power is just cheating. 

Late in the night, Tom awoke alongside Twilight. He had to check with her to make sure that day's events hadn't been a dream.

"No dream, Tom. Looks like you might just wind up being the Alicorn of Magic," Twilight was only half teasing. Tom's preformance had been outright staggering.

"Why would I be the Alicorn of Magic? You're the Alicorn of Friendship," Tom pointed out.

"If Discord's existence proves anything, it's that there's more than one kind of Magic. Just because I represent a singular aspect of Harmony Magic via Friendship, doesn't mean you can't be Alicorn of a broader field of Magic. I mean, if we want to get really technical, Luna and Celestia are both Alicorns of specific parts of the same 24 hour time cycle. Many consider Love to be an evolution of Friendship, so some might consider Cadence and I to be virtually Alicorns of the same thing. There's no reason why we can't have some overlap too," Twilight responded. Tom had to admit, she made some very good points. 

"I suppose...maybe it wasn't bad luck that we ended up together. Maybe it was always my destiny to wind up here, with you, and eventually become an Alicorn. There's a sobering thought. A regular 23 year old man destined to become a powerful purple pony princess. God works in mysterious ways indeed," Tom let out a weak laugh. 

"Well, Tom, I look forward to working with you for the rest of eternity," Twilight said with the absolute minimum amount of snark such a sentence required. 

"I suppose there are worse mares I could be trapped with until the End of Days," Tom quipped, "Well, we better get back to sleep if we want to be able to wake up to see all the delegations off tomorrow."

"Yes, we need to get all the rest we can for your smiling and waving like a trophy mare," Twilight sarcastically remarked. 

"Good night, Twilight," Tom said firmly.

"Good night, Tom," Twilight echoed and soon both were asleep again.
> Harmony's End
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Chapter 34: Harmony's End


The Games had gone wonderfully, but now it was time for all the commoners to go home. This presented an excellent opportunity to the rulers of the respective nations of Equuis to gather and discuss politics. Discussions to which neither Tom nor Twilight were invited. Neither was very happy about being excluded when Twilight was ostensibly a princess with equal authority to Cadence, Luna, and Celestia. How many times had Celestia told Twilight that because they were equals now that she didn’t need to refer to the Alicorn of the Day as ‘Princess Celestia’?

No, instead the pair had been demoted to lawn decoration, made to sit around and look pretty without even getting paid for it. At least Twilight was able to rant and rave about the injustice of it all while Tom pretended to be a perfect perky powerful purple pony princess. Try saying that five times fast. Twilight even got to run color commentary on what she thought of all the dignitary’s outfits and didn’t have to worry about an accidental snort of laughter. Some people get all the luck. 

Finally, after two agonizing days, the final pair of dignitaries, who hailed from Saddle Arabia, were ready to return home. With a final polite bow to the two Saddle Arabians, they were out the door and Tom collapsed into an ungraceful heap.

“You alright there, Tom?” Cadence asked.

“If you think I’m ever going to stand around for sex appeal for two days while the “adults” talk shop again, you are all sorely mistaken,” Tom growled from his heap.

“We apologize, to both of you. Twilight is an equal in princesshood and if the end of the Games is any indication, Tom will soon be joining us. However, the other nations of Equuis will be slow to recognize your authority. It would have been…troublesome to force the issue at this juncture,” Celestia apologized. That took all the wind out of Tom’s sails.

“I don’t like it, but I understand,” Tom sighed as he summoned the body double for the first time in nearly a week.

“I understand too,” Twilight said softly, “I just…am I really an equal princess? I don’t rule over anything, except maybe Golden Oaks Library and I feel like all I ever did before I became a princess was write friendship reports and act as your personal problem solver for whatever magical mishap occurred that week.”

“We have considered giving you Ponyville as your own personal fiefdom, but Tia tells us that such practices fell out of favor over the course of my banishment,” Luna confessed.

“I imagine that was before the Changelings moved in?” Tom asked.

“Yes, it was. Twilight, to be honest with you, being a princess may seem like it’s all about the land you rule or the people you command, but in truth it is all about helping the common person to the best of our ability. I admit, it is something Tia and I have been able to do less and less of as the years have gone by. I can at least still offer help in the Dream Realm, but Celestia is almost entirely trapped in royal politics. Caged by what is or isn’t considered “proper” for a princess,” Luna let out a melancholy sigh.

“Luna is unfortunately correct. It was an insidious thing that started slowly, but as the first generation of Equestria passed away, we both became placed on pedestals that have only grown more and more distant from our citizens. Luna’s banishment helped her break free of that, at least somewhat, but it is hard to break what is, at this point, millennium of tradition,” Celestia shook her head sadly.

“But you, Twilight, are perhaps more a princess than either of us. Together with Tom, you have continued to aid your fellow beings even after your ascension,” Luna encouraged.

“I haven’t done all that much. It’s mostly been Tom,” Twilight said with a blush of embarrassment. 

“And I wouldn’t have been nearly as helpful as I have been if I didn’t have you to teach me and offer me counsel. You’ve never steered me wrong Twilight and you would’ve helped others just the same if I had never wound up in control of your body. Celestia and Luna are right, you’re a true princess by every measure that matters,” Tom insisted. 

“They’re right, Little Spark, anyone who can’t see the wonderful mare you’ve become is blind,” Cadence added, throwing in her old nickname from when she took care of Twilight as a filly. 

“Thank you all, so much,” Twilight said thickly, overcome with emotion at the outpouring of love and support. Then somewhere a clock struck the hour. 

“Sounds like it’s almost time for bed for all of us of diurnal persuasion,” Celestia remarked, “How you work the shifts you do, Luna, I will never know.”

“The Dream Realm sustains me well enough,” Luna shrugged.

“Good night, all,” Tom bade as he and Twilight headed to the room they were staying in.





It was the dead of night and a lone Unicorn stallion was walking down a dark alleyway in Canterlot. He thought he was alone, until he almost plowed into a cloaked figure. 

“Very sorry, you came out of nowhere,” The stallion apologized. 

“Is he friend or is he foe, the Pony wonders… I can assure you, I am no friend. I am Lord Tirek!” The figure pulled off his cloak, revealing a centaur that appeared half again as big as the Unicorn he was speaking to and with a fair set of muscles, “I will take all that should have been mine long ago!” 

Tirek opened his mouth and a jet of Magic came pouring out of the Unicorn’s horn and into Tirek’s waiting maw.  Soon the Unicorn’s Cutie Mark vanished and the Unicorn collapsed. Tirek grew slightly bigger and his already well defined musculature became even more intimidating.





Celestia bolted upright in her bed. Luna burst into her room an instant later.

“Luna, I just had the most terrible dream,” Celestia gasped out.

“Why do you think I am here? It was no dream,” Luna reported solemnly, “It was a vision. Somehow Tirek has freed himself of Tartarus and has already regained far too much power.”

“How could he have taken so much Magic already? Surely it would have been reported if Ponies started losing their Cutie Marks!” Celestia fought against her rising panic.

“You know as well as I do that sometimes people slip through the cracks. If a child who just got their Cutie Mark was ambushed while rushing off to tell their parents, if a homeless beggar is drained dry and killed before the body is disposed of…” Luna shook her head, “There are too many ways in which this could have gone unnoticed for as long as it has.”

“Then we must gather Cadence, Tom, Twilight, and Discord. It is our only hope,” Celestia said gravely.

Soon thereafter, all of Equestria’s Princesses, Discord, and Tom were gathered and told of the tale of Tirek and Scorpan. 

“We believe he escaped when Cerberus left his post at the Gates of Tartarus,” Luna told the others.

“But that was over a year ago, why are we only hearing about this now?” Twilight asked.

“Tirek is as cunning as he is cruel. We can only guess he has been very careful when selecting targets to drain of their Magic. It is only by the blessing of my vision that we even know now, before it becomes too late,” Celestia answered.

“We don’t have the physical Elements, but we should still be able to channel Harmony Magic, let me and Twilight-” 

“No, Tom. As Tirek is currently, I fear he may even be able to consume your Magic. It is too risky to send you and the Elements after him. In this matter, we must place our trust in Discord,” Celestia announced.

“Me? You- are you really saying that you’re placing your trust in me?” Discord sounded incredulous. 

“Since your reform, you have been exceedingly helpful already and you have used your Chaos Magic only for harmless pranks and games. You and Fluttershy are particularly close. What reason would we have to distrust you?” Luna asked plainly. 

“Well, Ponyville is already strange enough that I hardly have to do anything to liven it up,” Discord protested weakly.

“You act as if you haven’t been assisting the people of Ponyville with their various small troubles,” Luna said patiently.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Discord summarily denied. Luna snorted in amusement. He may try to be subtle, but Chaos Magic tended to be as subtle as a jackhammer to someone who could sense it.

“Discord, please, tell us straight, what’s bothering you?” Tom requested. 

“I’m not afraid of Tirek, if that’s what you’re asking. No, I’m afraid I’ll somehow let you all down. Before, when I was ruler of all the lands and all that rot, I thought I had everything I ever wanted. Then Fluttershy opened my eyes. I realized I had always missed one thing: I was lonely. Sure, I could talk with the Tree, but she’s so boring that I couldn’t stand to be in her presence at all,” Discord laughed, “If you had told me millennia ago that I would be concerned over what a gentle Pegasus who might as well be the Tree’s Avatar thought of me, I’d have thought you crazier than I was. Why is Fluttershy different? Why do I get along with her and not the Tree, even though she is mortal?”

“I think you just answered your own question, Discord. Fluttershy is mortal. She’s more than just one note. You’ve done an exceedingly admirable job of breaking out of your basic nature, but the Tree has probably seen no reason to do so herself. You’ve evolved beyond what you were because Fluttershy showed you that no one is truly trapped by their nature,” Tom replied. Discord grew a faraway look. 

“Alright, I’ll do it. I don’t know if I’ll succeed, but I owe it to my friends to at least try! Oh, and before I forget, the Tree was being her usual ‘Holier than thou’ self and asked me to give this to you. As if she couldn’t do it herself,” Discord grumbled something under his breath before handing Tom and Twilight the Friendship Journal, only it had been marked under certain segments: Rarity’s Fashion Week, Rainbow’s clash with the Wonderbolts at Rainbow Falls, Pinkie’s showdown with Cheese, Fluttershy’s misadventure with the Breezies, and finally Applejack’s encounter with the Flim Flam Brothers.

“What does this mean?” Twilight asked.

“I haven’t the slightest. The Tree refused to tell me anything, probably worried I would spill the beans before she wanted them spilt,” Discord then knocked a few beans out of his ears, “Although, to be fair, I totally would’ve just to get on her nerves. The only thing I know is that it’s somehow related to that box she sprouted a couple months ago.”

“Something we can deal with after Tirek is safely back in Tartarus,” Tom decided. 

“Probably for the best. Who knows how many years it’ll be before the Tree intends for you to crack that mystery,” Discord cracked a few eggs before scrambling them and throwing the whole thing, bowl and all, out the window to become a flock of pigeons.

“Now we just play the waiting game. Once Tirek drains another, Discord should be able to sense it and go capture him,” Luna was clearly unhappy about that, but there wasn’t much they could do. They had no idea how out of date Celestia’s vision was. 





A couple of nights later and Tirek was growing bolder. He had just finished draining an unsuspecting Unicorn and spotted another who hadn’t seemed to notice. With a wicked grin, he approached the Unicorn, only for it to reveal himself to be Discord!

Tirek’s mind raced. He was strong, but not yet quite strong enough to steal pure Chaos Magic from Discord himself. A plan quickly began to formulate in his mind. He could only hope Discord was as big a fool as his brother.

“Discord, wait, before you take me back to Tartarus, there is something I must say!” He shouted quickly.

“And what would that be?” Discord knew he held all the cards, so didn’t feel a pressing need to see Tirek back to Tartarus. If the corrupt centaur wanted to say something, then he could do so.

“I was blind when I turned away my brother Scorpan. I thought I alone deserved power, but my years in Tartarus have allowed me time to think. I could have had all the power I ever wanted if I had become friends with the Ponies instead of trying to conquer them,” Tirek was lying through his teeth, but if there was one thing he was good at, it was lying.

“And the Unicorns you’ve been draining dry of Magic?” Discord asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I subsist on Magic as Chrysalis and her Changelings do on Love. It has been over a thousand years since I had eaten when I escaped Tartarus. I was starving,” That wasn’t even a lie. Tirek had altered his own biology with his Father’s Magic to be able to feed on Magic and grow ever more powerful with it, “My hunger demanded I be fed and I regrettably went overboard. I swear, when I am stable, I will return what I have wrongfully taken.”

Discord was uncertain. It had all sounded so very cut and dry when Celestia and Luna had explained it. However, he himself was a prime example of how someone could change for the better. If a Greater Spirit could change his very nature, then why couldn’t a mortal cursed with eternal life come to regret his actions? Could he really consider himself worthy of his friends if he turned away someone who needed help to get back on the right path?

Tirek sensed Discord’s hesitation. It was time for the finishing blow.

“Discord, would you or Chrysalis be here, enjoying the lives you currently enjoy, if someone hadn’t taken a chance on you?” That did it, Discord was won over.

“Very well, I will take you to Celestia and Luna, where-”

“NO! I fear what my hunger may make me do in the presence of such powerful…enticing Magic. Please, allow me to interact with twenty or so Unicorns, that I might passively sate my hunger enough to meet the Princesses without fear,” Tirek requested.

“I…suppose there would be no harm in it,” Discord replied.

“Thank you, Discord, you are a true friend,” Discord lit up at that, the fool. Tirek reached into his cloak, “Please, take this. It once belonged to Scorpan, my brother. Let it serve as a reminder of our friendship.” He pulled out an amulet and gave it to Discord. The idiot was positively beaming as he placed it around his…neck? Body? Whatever. 

“Well, friend, let’s get going! The sooner we get you fed the sooner you can meet the Princesses! I’m sure you’ll get along famously!” With a snap of Discord’s claws, Tirek found himself in a field overlooking Manehatten. He also saw twenty or so Unicorns looking around in confusion with Discord facing away from him.

“What’s going on?!” One of the Unicorns shouted.

“Everyone, please remain calm. I just wanted to request your services in helping a friend,” Tirek opened his mouth, “Allow me to introduce- Tirek, what are you doing?!” It was already too late. The Unicorns provided just enough power that he was able to start draining Discord as well. Discord tried to fight it, but his surprise allowed Tirek to easily overpower and drain him dry.

“Thanks for your help friend,” Tirek sneered.

“You…lied to me,” Discord actually sounded hurt, how cute. Tirek laughed in his face. 

“Why have a little power when you can have Absolute Power? I would’ve thought the Lord of Chaos of all people would appreciate that?” Tirek taunted. Discord laughed weakly.

“If you think draining this world of Magic will give you Absolute Power, then you are in for quite the nasty surprise,” That seemed to be all the energy Discord had left in him and he passed out. Tirek put Discord’s words from his mind. Now that he had eaten Chaos Magic, nothing could stop him! He would be God of Everything! His hulking frame turned to Manehatten. It was time for the feast to truly begin.





The day found the whole gang in the library of the Castle of the Two Pony Sisters. With Discord taking care of Tirek, Tom decided to get started on the mystery the Tree had presented them with. Everyone was happily chatting while reading various books.

It hadn’t taken long for the brain trust to realize a pattern had emerged in each of the marked passages. In each instance, they had gotten some kind of memento or keepsake. The thread from Coco, The Captain’s Badge from Spitfire, Boneless from Cheese Sandwich, a picture of Seabreeze’s family from Seabreeze, and an empty bottle of the fake tonic. Now they were just looking into how those items might tie into unlocking the box the Tree had produced.

“Maybe if we bring the items to the Tree, she’ll tell us something?” Moon Dancer suggested. 

“It’s worth a shot. We haven’t exactly been swimming in ideas,” Rainbow remarked. So the items were all gathered and placed before the Tree. Each one had a rainbow pass over it, but that was all they did.

“You know, if you wanted to be cryptic, you could at least do so in a way that doesn’t completely stonewall us!” Tom grumbled.

“COME ON BONELESS, GIVE US THAT KEY!” Pinkie shouted while vigorously shaking the rubber chicken. Boneless got away from her and smacked directly into the Box. Suddenly a beam of energy snatched up Boneless and he transformed into a key! The beam then pulled the key into one of the locks. 

“I can’t be the only one who feels like the Tree is cheating, right?” Moon Dancer asked.

“I feel the exact same way,” Tom agreed, “How in the Nine Circles of Hell were we supposed to know to mash the decidedly not key shaped items into the keyholes?!”

Whatever their personal feelings on the matter, they all placed the items on the Box and they were all transformed into keys and slotted into their keyholes. Of course, there was a single key still missing.

“How was I supposed to have an adventure of self discovery related to my Element when I’m stuck with Tom in control of my body?! How would I even have a moment of self discovery related to Magic?! Am I supposed to suddenly love learning Magic even more?!” Twilight was understandably frustrated. The Tree remained silent.

“We know you can talk, you withered old stump! Answer her!” Rainbow growled. 

Before anything else could be done or said, Spike burped up a scroll from Celestia. Discord had failed in his task to stop Tirek. Reports said Discord’s limp body was being carried around by Tirek like some kind of sick prize.

“How could Tirek have overcome Discord?!” Luna shouted in surprise. It made no sense unless Celestia’s vision had been very behind the times. Had they sent Discord as a lamb to the slaughter? 

“No time to worry about that now, we have to get to Canterlot!” Chrysalis exclaimed.

“You girls stay here, alert Ponyville, make sure everyone knows what’s going on,” Twilight instructed.

“Roger that!” Applejack replied. Twilight, Tom, Luna, and Chrysalis teleported to Canterlot together and the rest made full speed back to Ponyville.





“What do we do, Celestia? None of us are able to stop Tirek now that he has acquired so much Magic!” Luna asked of her older sister.

“You are correct. No one of us can stop him and he is on his way here to collect our Alicorn Magic. However, there may be two who can stop him,” Celestia’s gaze upon Tom and Twilight left no doubt as to who she was talking about.

“You don’t mean..?” Luna trailed off. Certainly Celestia wasn’t that crazy! But the more Luna thought about it, the more she was certain they didn’t have a lot of choice in the matter.

“I’ve talked it over with Cadence. It is our best chance to make it through this conflict,” Celestia said firmly.

“I’m feeling a little out of the loop. What are you planning to do?” Tom asked.

“When Tirek arrives in Canterlot, we cannot have the Alicorn Magic he is looking for. So, we will simply hide all our Magic away in you, Tom and Twilight,” Celestia revealed.

“Is that even possible? Won’t we, you know, explode?” Twilight asked pointedly.

“You are the Alicorn of Friendship, an aspect of Magic. Tom is likely also going to be an Alicorn of some aspect of Magic. If any are capable of holding the raw power of four Alicorns, it is the two of you,” Celestia explained.

“I won’t do it unless Twilight agrees to it. This is her body and I promised Shining Armor to protect her to the best of my ability,” Tom stated resolutely. The eyes in the room turned to Twilight.

“I think you should have a say, as you’re the one taking most of the risk, Tom, but if you insist that it’s my call, then I’ll agree to do it,” Twilight decided. 

“Very well, we will leave everything up to the both of you. Twilight, you have proven yourself capable of saving Equuis before and Tom, I have no doubt you’ll prove just as able. Take our power and confront Tirek as you see fit,” Celestia, Luna and Cadence’s horns all lit up.

“Ah, to Tartarus with it, I’m not an Alicorn, but I’m sure every little bit will help,” Chrysalis spoke up for the first time just as she lit her own horn. All four of their eyes flashed white. The combined Magical power congregated in a huge orb hovering above Tom and Twilight before siphoning down into his horn.

Neither Tom nor Twilight knew what to make of this. It was simultaneously pleasure and pain, agony and bliss. Tom felt every muscle twitch involuntarily and randomly as the huge amounts of Magic tried to acclimate itself to his body as he floated just above the floor. He couldn’t see it, but his mane had gained the ethereal quality that Luna and Celestia’s manes had. Or did have, as the case was.

Removed from their Alicorn Magic, Luna and Celestia both diminished. Luna looking just like the day she had been freed of the Nightmare and Celestia shrinking to match her sister’s size and her mane becoming nothing more extraordinary than a bubblegum pink color, just like one might find on so many other mares across Equestria. The only thing that still set them apart was the presence of both wings and horns.

Cadence and Chrysalis were the least effected visually, but they still looked dead on their hooves. All three Alicorns had lost their Cutie Marks. 

Eventually, the Magic inside Tom calmed down enough for him to land on his hooves, but his mane and tail still flowed in an invisible breeze. Twilight bade him to hug those that had just lost their Magic and he complied. 





Tom and Twilight returned to Ponyville with the moon high in the sky. It was incredible how easy it had been to teleport from Canterlot to Golden Oaks. His desire had barely registered as a conscious thought before he was outside the door. 

“You should raise the sun soon,” Twilight noted as she looked at the clock.

“It’s a good thing Luna taught us how to move the moon. It shouldn’t be too hard to do the same for the sun,” Tom realized he had just jinxed himself as his horn sparked, sending things flying everywhere.

“Tom, Twilight, what happened to you?” Moon Dancer called out as she flipped on the lights.

“We don’t have much time to explain. Luna, Celestia, Chrysalis, and Cadence all poured every bit of their Magic into me. Tirek is sure to come looking for it. We have to evacuate the whole town, immediately!” Tom told her. Moon Dancer grew a hard look on her face.

“Understood, I’ll go wake Spike and get to work alerting Ponyville. You two just do whatever it is you need to do to stop Tirek,” Moon Dancer bolted up the stairs and seconds later came back down with a groggy Spike in tow.

Tom looked up into the sky and focused on the connection with the moon Luna had helped him build. As carefully as he was able, he started to lower it. Suddenly he felt something else surge within him. He could only guess it was Celestia’s Magic. It fought to be used as Luna’s Magic was being used. Tom tried to rein it in, but the sun and moon skittered across the sky like they were drunk for a good few minutes before he was finally able to regain control. 

“You have to get better control,” Twilight told him.

“Stating the obvious, Twi, but I can’t do that here in Ponyville. We’ve gotta head out to the Everfree if we even want to let a fraction of this power free without hurting anyone,” Deciding teleporting was too risky in his current condition, he opened his wings. That proved to be a bad idea. Alicorn Magic included a Pegasus component, and with all that extra power, Tom was fast enough that even Rainbow couldn’t keep up when she spotted the flying Alicorn.

Eventually Tom managed to land and surprised himself and Twilight both by not crashing horribly. He did leave a skid trail a few meters long behind him though. He also wasn’t outside Ponyville yet. He took long enough trying to climb out of the hole he made without having his Magic go wild that the Elements caught up to him and Twilight.

“What happened?!” Fluttershy asked.

“Yer mane is actin’ like Celestia and Luna’s!” Applejack observed.

“Hasn’t Moon Dancer told you all to evacuate yet? Never mind, she’s just one pony. Long story short, the Alicorns gave me and Twilight all their power and Tirek is sure to be on his way. Get everyone out of Ponyville before it becomes a war zone!” Tom begged.

“Ya’ll heard him, let’s get to it!” Tom felt a surge of gratitude for the farm pony as she and the others charged off in different directions to warn Ponyville. Tom took off toward the Castle of the Two Pony Sisters, fighting random teleports the whole way.





The Elements plus Moon Dancer and Spike were just seeing the last of the townsfolk to safety when a ground shaking stomping drew near. They all turned and for the first time beheld Tirek. He had grown gigantic with wicked horns sprouting out of each side of his head. He could easily hold three ponies in the palm of his hand. They were afraid, but turned to face him with courage. Discord was limp and lifeless, floating along in a bubble beside Tirek.

“You aren’t going to win, you ugly bastard!” Rainbow snarled. 

“You think your precious Twilight Sparkle will save you? Ha! I will take the Magic that is rightfully mine and my takeover of this pitiful world will be complete! She is only delaying the inevitable. Not even my Father will be able to stop me when I am done here!” Tirek declared.

“Sounds like someone had daddy issues~!” Pinkie chirped. Tirek seized her roughly with his Magic.

“Enough of your pointless prattling!” With that, he drained them all dry.





Tom was doing his best to control all the power that was now within him, but between nearly burning down half the Everfree and random teleports across all of Equuis, he hadn’t been able to do much. Now he found himself grumbling in the fissure of a rock.

“I feel like I’m starting all over again in Magic, only instead of a calm ocean of power, I’m saddled with a raging hurricane!” Tom groused.

“Well, complaining about it won’t get anything done,” Twilight sighed.

“PRINESS TWILIGHT, YOU HAVE SOMETHING THAT BELONGS TO ME!” Tirek bellowed

“Ah, shit, we’re outta time,” He used his enhanced strength to burst free of the rock and into the skies. This time he had a better idea of what to expect, so he didn’t go careening out of control.

“You are going to give me what I want!” Tirek ordered as Tom flew circles above his head.

“If I were a pigeon I’d take a shit on your head right about now! I’m not, so I guess I’m going to have to content myself with a hardy FUCK YOU!” Tom shouted. Tirek let loose a blast of magic and Tom accidentally teleported out of the way. He wound up on the bird’s nest of Golden Oaks where Twilight kept her telescope.

Tom got his bearings just in time to see Tirek fire off another blast.

“OWLOWISCIOUS!” Twilight screamed. Tom could sense the owl in the library too. Taking an incredible gamble, he teleported to grab the bird and then teleported out just an instant before the library was consumed by flames. 

“He destroyed our home,” Tom said quietly. 

“He destroyed one of the most important places on Equuis to both of us,” Twilight felt a fury like nothing she had felt before overcome her. That library represented so much to Twilight, so many good times with friends, a complete break from the anti-social mare she had been before. It had been Twilight’s home for over a year. To Tom it meant even more. It was the only place he had to call home on Equuis. Now it was nothing more than burning splinters. Tom shared in her righteous anger. They were of one mind. Tirek needed to pay. 

Suddenly it was like the Magic had never disobeyed him at all. Their combined rage gave the Magic focus. The Magic of four Alicorns and a Changeling Queen sang in every fiber of their shared being, down to their very Souls. 

Twilight supplied the spells and Tom the moment to moment battle plan. Together they threw everything they had at Tirek. The intellect of one of Equuis’ greatest minds mixed with the brutality of a vengeful Human. 

Tirek didn’t stand a chance. He was battered by spells, assaulted by Rainbooms, and pummeled by bare hooves. He tried to fight back, but every blast of his was met with equal force, canceling it out. Every time he tried to swat at the annoying Alicorn she either teleported away or slammed into him. Finally Tirek was on the ground and Tom let loose a beam of pure Magic, drilling Tirek into a crater. 

Unfortunately, while Tirek couldn’t fight back, Tom and Twilight couldn’t seem to inflict lasting damage either. Not without actively trying to kill him. They were furious, but not ready to kill.

“It would seem we’re at an impasse,” Tirek admitted sourly, “How about a trade?” 

He summoned bubbles containing Moon Dancer, Discord, Rainbow Dash, Spike, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack. They looked like they had been beaten. Tom and Twilight both instantly saw RED. 

“You care for your little friends, don’t you Princess? Then their safety for-” Tirek never got to finish his offer.

Tom and Twilight Surged as One and their only purpose was to end Tirek. They roared in an unearthly voice.

"NO ONE HURTS MY FRIENDS!"



 

The bubbles containing them popped as Tirek fell under attack. They all fell to the ground, but none were hurt by the fall. They looked up and they all stood spellbound as they watched their friend ruthlessly attack Tirek. Discord was the first to snap out of it.

“I’m sorry I let it come to this. I let him trick me,” Discord said sadly.

“We can talk about it later! Right now Tom and Twilight need help!” Moon Dancer was about to say more when the amulet Discord was wearing shimmered with a rainbow.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” Everyone shouted.

“When this is all over, I am going to have a strongly worded chat with that overgrown weed!” Discord swore as they all rushed to the Tree of Harmony. Discord placed the amulet on the Box and sure enough, it became the last key they needed. 

The Box opened and Harmony Magic enveloped Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and to everyone’s shock and to the horror of one draconequus, Discord was also enveloped.

When the light faded, they all came out looking like toys for small fillies. Even Discord. The Elements weren’t too bothered by it, but Discord looked downright furious.

“If this is your idea of a joke, Tree, then you need a new sense of humor,” He said sourly. The Tree then whispered something in his ear that made absolutely no sense. What did she mean ‘Magic is Missing’?

“You two can have yer spat later; we gotta help Tom and Twilight!” Applejack called out. Following her lead, the group rose up to find Tirek still getting pummeled. 

The centaur looked very much worse for the encounter. His horns were cracked in several places, his nose was bleeding profusely, maybe even broken, and he looked like he had lost more than one tooth. That wasn’t even getting into the litany of other injuries scattered across his body.

“Hey, Twi, Tom, the cleanup crew has arrived!” Rainbow called out, but they didn’t seem to hear her. The Elements shrugged and let the Harmony Magic do its work. Tirek was unable to defend himself and he rapidly shrunk down into a weak, elderly looking form. 

Even with the centaur defeated, the purple Alicorn descended on Tirek and began to wail on him with their bare hooves.

“Darling, he’s beaten, it’s over, and you can stop now!” Rarity cried out. 

“NO! NOT UNTIL HE GIVES THEM BACK!” Came the hoarse screaming reply. Something was deeply wrong here. Applejack and Rainbow forced the purple Alicorn away from Tirek’s battered form. As soon as they were away from him, the purple Alicorn broke down in what sounded like soul rending agony. They were howling in anguish and tears flowed freely from tightly closed eyes. 

“Tom, what’s wrong?!” Fluttershy asked.

“They’re gone! They’re gone!” Was the wailing answer she got.

“Who’s gone?” Rainbow asked in confusion. Suddenly Discord got a horrible feeling. He Looked and what passed for his blood ran cold. The Tree’s message suddenly made horrible, grim sense.

The Alicorn’s eyes snapped open, one green, one purple, “THEY’RE DEAD!”
> A Brief History of the Bible
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Excerpt 1: A Brief History of the Bible


“Tom, do you hate me?” It was the dead of night. The only two awake in Golden Oaks Library were Tom and Twilight. To no one’s surprise, the pair had been reading. Tom looked over at Twilight.

“I thought I made it clear I don’t hate you when we first met,” Tom replied.

“But I practice magic…” Twilight said morosely.

“What? What does that have to do with anything?” Tom asked in confusion.

“‘Suffer not the witch to live’.” Twilight quoted and Tom suddenly felt an intense desire to grovel at Twilight’s hooves. Which he did.

“I’m so sorry Twilight, I’m such an idiot. I gave you the straight King James Version. Instead of putting the Joseph Smith Translation over the verses like a semi-intelligent person, I put them in the back where I remember them being,” Tom berated himself.

“There’s more than one version?” Twilight asked.

“That requires a bit of a history lesson. Alright, so the Old Testament of the Bible was written in mostly Classical Hebrew or Biblical Hebrew. The New Testament was written in Greek and the Old Testament was translated into the same. Now, the problem with this is that Hebrew became a dead language for about 1500 years and Greek mutated so much as to be unrecognizable after the fall of the Roman Empire,” Tom started.

“Dead language?” Twilight asked.

“A language with no native born speakers. There are about 6500 languages currently spoken on Earth and there’s no way to know exactly how many languages have died over the course of history,” Tom answered.

“6500?! How- why would you need so many languages?!” Twilight shouted. There were only 5 main languages spoken on Equuis: Equestrian, Griffish, Breezian, Yakish, and Draconian. There were maybe half a dozen other less spoken languages. 

“You read about the Tower of Babel, right?” Twilight nodded, “Well they were underselling just how badly that event corrupted the Human Tongue.”

“That’s a sobering thought. Suddenly not being able to understand any of my friends…” Twilight shivered.

“Anyway, we’re getting off topic. After the fall of the Roman Empire, there was a great Dark Age, where much knowledge was lost. This was also during the Great Apostasy, also known as the Long Night, which happened directly after the death of Jesus Christ. God closed the Heavens during the Long Night, so some doctrine had already become corrupted by the time the Roman Empire fell.

“During the Dark Ages, only a handful of high ranking members of the Church knew how to read and to complicate matters they translated the entire Bible into Latin. Very poorly, I might add. So the clergymen basically reworded, reinterpreted, and flat out made up entire passages as it suited them. The Church basically used the common people as tools to increase their own prestige and power. They even started entire wars, known as the Crusades, over “holy sites”.” Tom said with disgust.

“That’s awful!” Twilight exclaimed.

“You’re not the only one who thought so, but at the time, to disagree with the Church was basically asking for them to either cart you off to an insane asylum or outright murder you, either by beheading, hanging, or burning at the stake. The Church was pretty much the absolute power in much of Europe.” Twilight recoiled at this. 

“That’s barbaric!” Twilight derided.

“Yes, it wasn’t until 1534 that a monk by the name of Martin Luther, using the then recent invention of the printing press, translated the Bible into German. Unfortunately, his translation contained many errors. The various languages are rarely good for one to one translations. Even among individual languages there are accents, local dialects, and unique turns of phrase. There are people who spend their whole lives learning to translate one language into another and even then there are disagreements on if their exact word choices are correct,” Tom explained.

“So where does the King James Version come in?” Twilight asked.

“King James the First came to the throne when several separate sects of Christianity were fighting for dominance. It was a troubling time to be sure, but the competition inspired many to reexamine the translations of the Bible. The extremely rough Latin, along with the original Hebrew and Greek versions were all looked over and translated into English. There were a few different versions of the Bible running around at the time, but they were almost all superior to the first Latin translation. 

“King James was a holy scholar himself and had retranslated some of the Psalms. He wanted to unite all the different factions, unite his people. So he gathered a bunch of scholars in an attempt to translate the Bible one final time into a form all the sects of Christianity would accept. The work started in 1604 and was completed in 1611. When it was released, it quickly gained popularity until it achieved its goal of being the most widely accepted version of the Bible released in modern times. At the time, it was the most perfect form of the Bible since the original writing. 

“However, it wasn’t entirely perfect. Certain passages were mistranslated, missing, or even corrupted. One of those passages was the one that you mentioned “suffer not the witch to live”. The correct translation would later be discovered to be “Thou shalt not suffer the murderer to live”. Quite the difference, eh? That verse in particular caused quite a lot of trouble, particularly during the mid to late 1600s, but that’s a history lesson for another time. 

“The King James Version would stand as the most correct version of the Gospel until Joseph Smith Jr. was inspired by God to retranslate the entirety of the Bible, from Genesis to Revelations. He started in 1830 and finished in 1833, but it wasn't published until 1867. It was when Joseph Smith Jr. was appointed as the Prophet, Seer, and Revelator of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints that the Great Apostasy was officially over and God once again spoke directly to his children on Earth. With God’s direction, Joseph Smith Jr. translated the Plates of Brass, which are what the Old Testament was originally written on, the New Testament, and the Plates of Gold, which contained an account of the ancient Americas, as well as commandments and further ministry from Jesus Christ after His death and resurrection,” Tom lectured.

“The Plates of Gold?” Twilight asked. Tom pointed to the book resting beside the Bible.

“They were published as the Book of Mormon. It tells how a family fled from Jerusalem, crossed the ocean, and lived in the Americas in ancient times. It also contains an account of the descendants of that family and the commandments they received from God during their time. The Book of Mormon covers a time period from about 2500 years Before Christ’s Birth, to about 400 years After His Birth or Anno Domini, which is Latin for ‘The Year of Our Lord’. Most just shorten it to BC and AD,” Tom answered. 

“I guess I should reread the Bible then,” Twilight remarked.

“Yeah, let me fix it for you,” Tom took about ten minutes to replace all the text of the KJV with the JST corrections. After that, they both continued to read deep into the night.
> Nerds Being Silly
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Excerpt 2: Nerds Being Silly


“I don’t think I’ve ever seen any “medicine” with that shade of green,” Moon Dancer quipped as Tom presented Flim and Flam’s Tonic. 

“Yeah, well, our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to find out what’s this stuff made of. Doesn’t matter if it looks like liquefied grass or not,” Tom pointed out.

“Spike, could you grab my Bunsen burner and a few beakers and stands?” Twilight requested of the dragonling. 

“Aye, aye, Twilight!” Spike replied eagerly and went down to the basement to grab the equipment.

“Well, first things first. Over the lips, past the gums, look out stomach, here it comes!” Tom took a swig of the concoction before either of the mares could stop him. Twilight and Tom both paused as the taste washed over his tongue. 

“Is it really that simple?” Tom asked bewildered.

“Flim and Flam wouldn’t put any more effort into this than strictly necessary. It might just be that simple,” Twilight pointed out. 

“Moon Dancer, take a sip of this and tell us if we’re crazy,” Tom offered her the bottle. 

“I can already tell you’re crazy just because you drank an unknown mixture,” Moon Dancer deadpanned, but took a sip anyway, “Is that just…apple juice and beet leaves?”

“That’s what I thought too! I mean, we’ll still have to test it for any additives, but it tastes like just squeezed apple juice and beet leaves,” Tom exclaimed.

“I don’t think it has any additives, except maybe some vitamin supplements. You forget, Tom, pony taste is a lot stronger than what you’ve told me human taste is like. Most of what you people put in your food wouldn’t fly in Equestria,” Twilight observed.

“How to know you’ve been in a pony body too long: you forget what things taste like as a human,” Tom sulked. 

Spike came back up the stairs and after a small amount of testing they discovered it was indeed just apple juice and beet leaves. Not a single extra ingredient was added.

“You know, I’m almost impressed by the sheer audacity the Flim Flam Brothers have. Trying to sell such common items as a cure-all that all of Equuis has been looking for since the dawn of time,” Moon Dancer remarked. 

“I suppose we should just tell AJ what’s in it and be done with it,” Twilight sighed.

“You know, maybe this is just my inner pyro talking, but it’d be a shame to put the Bunsen burner and stuff away after we just brought it up here,” Tom commented casually.

“What are you suggesting?” Moon Dancer asked.

“Well, I don’t know about you girls, but chemistry has always been one of my favorite fields of science. What say you we “improve” Flim and Flam’s little drink?” Tom proposed.

“Sure, what the heck? I’m game,” Twilight shrugged.

“I mean, it wouldn’t be hard, but when you say ‘improve’ what do you mean?” Moon Dancer questioned.

“We start with a base of apple juice and beet leaves. Then we just throw whatever we feel like into the pot, see if anything happens,” Tom replied.

“You just want to see something blow up, don’t you?” Spike accused. 

“I will neither confirm nor deny any accusations of that nature,” Tom answered with a smirk. 

It was a simple matter to pull out a large cauldron and apply a proper heating cantrip to it so soon it was half full of simmering apple juice and beet leaves. The group spent the time it took for the liquid to reach a simmer gathering other ingredients. They also gathered gas masks, just in case they got too exuberant in their fun.

“So, do we just throw everything in, or what?” Spike asked.

“Silly Spike, we’ve gotta put things in one by one or it’s gonna spill everywhere. Now, what should we put in first?” Tom inquired.

“I vote we put in the carrot juice first,” Twilight opined.

“Why?” Moon Dancer asked.

“I mean, if we’re just here to have fun anyway, why not start with the carrot juice?” Twilight asked.

“She has a point Moon Dancer,” Tom remarked as he poured in the carrot juice. 

“OK, if we’re abandoning all rhyme and reason, then throw in some sulfur next!” Moon Dancer insisted and Tom added it to the pot.

“Goat’s milk!” 

“Potassium!”

“Spike, add a handful of bay leaves!”

“Molasses!”

“Sulfuric acid!”

“Oats!”

“Are you two just hungry?” Moon Dancer asked with arched eyebrow as Tom poured in a few cups of oats.

“Maybe,” Both admitted before Twilight started giggling. 

“Didn’t your mothers ever tell you not to do science on an empty stomach?” Moon Dancer teased.

“I thought that was never shop on an empty stomach?” Tom snarked as he threw in some crushed white peppercorns. 

“To be fair, I think a lot of things are done less optimally when hungry,” Twilight commented as she directed Spike to add tomato juice. 

“After this, we eat!” Tom announced as he added red food coloring. 

“You know, I don’t think we’re getting into the spirit of this experiment,” Twilight said with a thoughtful look.

“What do you suggest?” Tom wondered as he added some mayo.

“Does your world have Frankenstein?” Twilight asked with a growing grin.

“Oh, I like where this is going,” Moon Dancer snarked. 

“There is indeed a novel by that name back on Earth. So we go full Dr. Frankenstein?” Tom was almost vibrating with excitement. 

“IGOR, FETCH US THE SUGAR, SPICE, AND EVERYTHING NICE!” Twilight shouted by way of answering. 

“At once, my master!” Moon Dancer snickered in a terrible accent. 

“Igor 2, fetch us the butterfly wings!” Tom ordered. 

“Does this mean my brain is gonna get transplanted into the monster?” Spike asked.

“Dragon parts are sure to be valuable,” Twilight mused.

“MUHAHAH! IGOR, FETCH ME THE SALTPETER!” Tom laughed evilly.

“YES, MY MASTER!” Moon Dancer cried out.

“THOSE FOOLS WILL RUE THE DAY THEY CALLED ME MAD!” Twilight crowed. 

“Nope,” The trio turned just in time to see Applejack slam the door shut. They all broke down laughing after that.
> Captain's Log Star Date XXXX
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Excerpt 3: Captain's Log Star Date XXXX


Twilight’s Log Date 5/13/1001

It has been a week since I summoned and trapped the Human named Tom in my body. He is odd to almost every one of my sensibilities. He is squeamish about taking my…our daily shower every morning. He has refrained from eating fish, even when directly asked if he would like any by Rainbow Dash and Spike. I know Humans are omnivores from what Tom has told me, so why is he denying himself? It’s not like eating fish would hurt a Pony body, as he’s been told before.

It’s almost like he’s concerned about me, but why should he be when I’m the reason he’s stuck in this situation to begin with? Even if he has proven himself to not be the vengeful sort, nopony would concern themselves overmuch with the desires of their jailor. That’s all I am. His jailor and his foalnapper. 

Tom has also proven to be very stable, emotionally speaking, more so than I am, at any rate. He’s only experienced one mild panic attack that was quickly headed off by my friends in the time he’s been trapped in my body. I’ve had well over a dozen, starting each morning with the panic of waking and not being able to control my body. I know, and Dr. Mind has told me, that I am not the most emotionally competent of ponies. 

I feel like this is a punishment of some kind. Some wrong I have committed coming back to haunt me. That is the thought that crosses my mind in my darker hours. Yet why drag an innocent into my retribution?

I am not blind. I know there are things Tom is withholding from me. Personal details that he isn’t comfortable sharing and things about Human History that he wishes to hide. Could that have something to do with why he wound up here trapped with me?

I laugh internally at the notion. Nothing Tom had said or done indicates any sort of Dark Past that would warrant such a horrifying punishment as to be dragged from everything he ever loved with no chance of going back. No, the only monster here is me. 

It’s a wonder that the other Elements haven’t abandoned me and that I can still feel Magic at the very fringes of my conscious mind. I’m sure Princess Celestia and Luna would punish me if they could, but they can’t get at me without going through Tom. So not only have I taken him prisoner, but now I’m using him as a meat shield. The more I think about this, the worse it becomes. 

But what do I have, except my thoughts? I could inflict myself on Tom all day long, but I am certain that is the last thing he wants. So I leave him alone most of the time, let him get used to Ponyville while I languish in the privacy of my mind. 

I’ll have to communicate with him eventually. The Summit in the Crystal Empire is next week and he needs to learn how to act like me. What cruel irony that he must pretend to be his own jailor? I can only hope he doesn’t hate me as much as I hate myself.

End Twilight’s Log.
> Obligatory Musical
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


A Human, a Pony Princess, and a Mistake


Excerpt 4: Obligatory Musical


Rarity, Tom, Fluttershy, and Twilight were all in an empty room in the back of Rarity’s boutique. Tom had no idea what the pair wanted, but he hadn’t seen any reason to refuse their invitation either. However, as Rarity closed the door and the fashionista grew a slightly feral grin, Tom was coming to regret his choices. 

“Now, Darling, that song you sang for Rainbow during her Birthaversary was simply adorable. I must know more!” Rarity exclaimed.

“You want me to sing more love songs for you to hear? That’s what all this cloak and dagger is about? Why’s Fluttershy here?” Tom asked.

“Well, we thought Human songs might inspire a song or two for the Ponytones. Also, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious myself,” Fluttershy explained. Tom thought it over for a moment.

“OK, I’ll do it. Well, I won’t be singing. Thanks to Vinyl and a little bit of experimentation, I can recreate the music and vocals from memory. I also won’t limit myself to love songs, just because my knowledge of love songs comes almost exclusively from my older brother, who loved to play love songs 24/7 every time he had a girlfriend. I’m also not going to subject you to ever genre of music. I hate rap and I’m not going to make you listen to something like Five Finger Death Punch, even though I love them,” Tom remarked.

“‘Five Finger Death Punch’? Your human bands certainly have a way with names,” Rarity snarked. 

“Now the question becomes where to begin..?” Tom trailed off, mentally starting to go through his music library. 

“Wherever you think is best, dear,” Rarity encouraged. Tom’s eyes drifted around the room aimlessly until they came to rest on Twilight.

“Ah, I know the perfect love song to start us with!” He charged the magic and a piano started to play just a moment before the vocals began. It wasn’t quite like anything the ponies had heard before. But that ceased to matter when the singer began talking about Vanilla Twilight, violet eyes, and heavy wings.

“Tom, I am going to kill you,” Twilight swore.

“You can try~” Tom taunted as the song ended, “You have to admit, the song sounds like it was made for you.”

“Vanilla Twilight was my great aunt,” Twilight sulked. 

“That song was so sweet,” Fluttershy opined.

“How about another song that might ruffle Twilight’s feathers?” Tom asked cheekily before powering the spell and summoning up an illusion of what looked to be a small bird of some kind.

“Tom!” Twilight tried to protest, but the song was already underway. Tom may have not been singing, but he was clearly mouthing the words of one of the singers while having the bird sing other words. Tom was even dancing along with glee. 

“Quite an upbeat number for what seems to be a young princeling,” Rarity remarked.

“The Lion King is considered one of the best animated movies of all time back home. I did a stage performance of it once when I was in 9th grade. Remind me to tell you all about it later, as the song gets even better with context. For now, why don’t we try something a little darker on for size?” Tom asked. 

“Tom, what are you plotting?” Twilight asked suspiciously. 

“Plotting? I’m not plotting anything…much,” Tom said, looking as though butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth before being over taken with an evil grin. He lit his horn and said, “Now, my Dark Purpose will be fulfilled and the last of the Romanovs will DIE!”

The music poured into the room and Tom simply bobbed his head in time with the music as the ponies grew more and more horrified. Finally the song finished, leaving the ponies in a state of shock.

“That was certainly…intense,” Twilight breathed. 

“I, uh, I don’t think I liked that one too much,” Fluttershy confessed.

“It certainly had an enthralling quality to it, but I don’t think it agreed with me either,” Rarity sighed. 

“Hmm, alright, perhaps a softball is in order. I will warn you, however, this song may make you teary,” Tom said before powering the spell once more. A piano began to play and already it had a haunting, sad quality to it. This one Tom did sing along with, Twilight’s voice mingling with the sorrowful lyrics. 

“What did it mean?” Fluttershy asked quietly when the song finished.

“I don’t know, but for me it always reminds me of my mom right after she lost her baby in the womb to complications,” Tom answered as he rubbed a tear from his eye, “Now! Let’s have something a little happier!”

Before anyone could do anything, a new track started playing. It was immediately upbeat as the last was sorrowful. This one Tom contented himself to mouthing along with as he played the air guitar. 

“My, this almost sounds like Rainbow Dash’s theme song,” Rarity quipped. 

“I won’t deny thoughts of a certain prismatic mare crossed my mind when choosing this song,” Tom admitted, “It’s actually a song for a character that’s all about his need for speed, much like Rainbow. Now then, we’ve had sad, we’ve had dark, we’ve had romance, we’ve had hype, and we’ve had a little silly. What else do I want to show off?” Tom thought about it for a few moments before an idea came to him. It would require him to skirt the line with hard rock, but he thought the song itself was strangely appropriate.

A deep bass/ accompanied by a steady drumbeat started playing. Once the song started properly, Fluttershy pinned her ears against her skull, but strangely Rarity and Twilight seemed to enjoy it. The song played to its conclusion before anyone spoke.

“You’re a regular comedian, Tom,” Twilight snarked.

“I thought a song about being an animal was appropriate,” Tom said, utterly unrepentant.

“It was certainly very much unlike anything a pony would produce,” Rarity commented. 

“Equuis has Heartsongs. Your emotions channeled directly through your Heart and Soul via Harmony Magic. Heartsongs are extremely intimate to the one who is leading the Heartsong. I’ve noticed that almost every non-Heartsong piece of music here in pony land is purely instrumental. You have everything from Vinyl’s Dubstep to Octavia’s classical, but you don’t have the Beetles, you don’t have Keith Urban, you don’t so much as have Simon and Garfunkel. For Humanity, expressing ourselves is so much more difficult than simply being inspired with a Heartsong. So songwriters have taken it upon themselves to express every conceivable emotion, to make their understanding of the Human Condition known to the masses,” Tom tried to explain, “Here, I can think of no better way to end this session and demonstrate my point than with this song.”

An Organ began to play. Then an entire choir began to sing and Tom lent his voice to the singing masses. Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rarity were stunned by how Tom seemed to lose himself in this song. Equestria didn't have much in the way of proper choirs like this one sounded to be. If they hadn’t known any better, they’d have thought it was a Heartsong. It was clearly a song near and dear to his Heart. 

“That was beautiful,” Rarity whispered as he finished.

“That was the first hymn I sang after I was baptized. I will never forget it as long as I live. Thank you, this was quite enjoyable,” Tom said with a sincere smile. Without another word, he left the building.