That explains everything.....not.
Konrad felt like he was thrown inside a washer, with a large amount of Blood, Sweat, and Tears as the washer was unbalanced, tumbling him around with a vengeance. After tumbling inside said washer, he was ready to simply relax and dry out so to speak. Unfortunately for him, the universe had other plans. He was currently struggling to hold himself up with the painful and open wound of his left arm, bruised chest, and beaten face with the taste of blood in his mouth. Never before had he simply wanted to just fall asleep before in his life, but with a complete line of angry Royal Guards in his way, that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. Even worse was the fact that an angry Princess Celestia along with the mane six, equipped with the Elements of Harmony, were staring him right in the face.
“And of course first contact doesn’t fucking go well…it never does for me. God dammit! I got the Blanks killed and of course Princess Luna isn’t here to back me up! At least I got Ruby and Mitta, nice to know they are on my side…fucking Rainbow Dash…”
“Umm…parlay?” asked Konrad with a nervous smile.
A tear of sweat dripped down the side of his head as his crossed over a cut on his face, no doubt caused by Blood Clop. The stinging pain was nothing compared to the awkward and very tense scene before him as Princess Celestia, the mane six, and the Guard looked at him as if they had defecated themselves. Their jaws were lowered and their eyes were widened as they stared straight at him. It was uncomfortable enough to have a lot of people stare at him, but it was even worse when it was his favorite characters from his favorite cartoon staring him in the face with the exception of Fluttershy cowering in the back.
Konrad swore he could have heard a small squeak coming from Fluttershy, and if he was not badly beaten or with the threat of being turned to stone, he would have gone “Dawww” on her.
“AAAAAGGGHH! This is just like those god awful Fanfics where the human gets screwed time and time again! Can’t I get a fucking break?! I think having Ruby rape by back was more preferable to this! Actually, that does seem like a good idea…NO! Snap out of it! Think of something!”
“Uhh…is that a yes, no, maybe? C’mon, give me something.” said Konrad with a nervous smile.
“You’re…you’re Blood Hoof!? But…that doesn’t make any sense! This is completely contradicting the previous evidence we found! All signs pointed to this being a misunderstanding! This can’t be true!” cried Twilight Sparkle.
“Ah’m sorry Twi, but it looks like this Konrad feller is one of them. I thought we might have been wrong about him, but we ain’t.” said Apple Jack while taking her rope of her side and getting it ready.
“AAAHH!” screamed Rarity,” He’s a disgusting rotten ruffian Blood Hoof!”
Using her magic, a broken purple gem was levitated near her horn with the jagged edges pointed at Konrad.
“I’ve got a gem and I’m not afraid to use it! Stay back! STAY BACK I SAY!” screamed Rarity.
“EEEP!” was all Fluttershy could say.
“WAAHAHAHAHA!!” cried Pinkie Pie. “He’s one of the bad meanie Blood Hooves! My pinkie sense said he would be a friend! WAAAAH!”
Pinkie Pie continued to cry, almost creating a puddle of tears. Seeing Pinkie Pie cry was something he hated seeing, but he was very confused at the reaction of the ponies. Ruby didn’t freak out like they did, and Princess Luna didn’t even react negative at all to the appearance of Konrad. While seeing a human for the first time may be shocking, he’d never expected them to react this badly ever.
“Dang it Pinkie Pie! Why can’t your Pinkie sense do it again!? Wait a minute, why are they calling me a Blood Hoof? Are they fucking blind?!”
“Umm…what?!” said Konrad with confusion.
“You heard her bucko! You’re one of them! See I told you everypony!” shouted Rainbow Dash.
“One of them? Can they even see with their own fucking eyes? And please don’t cry Pinkie Pie! I like you!”
Hoping that Pinkie Pie could hear his thoughts, Konrad was disappointed that Pinkie Pie continued to cry, creating a large pool of tears near her. Confused as to why she was even crying in the first place, Konrad continued to look around as to why they thought he was Blood Hoof. They all continued to look at him with either fear, or anger. Twilight Sparkle appeared to be disappointed for some reason while Rarity appeared to be merely disgusted at his dirty clothes. Apple Jack was still sizing him up and down and had her rope ready.
“Bucko? Is that all you got? Seems pretty lame to me, and what are you going to do with that jewelry? Show it off to us and hope we die?” said Ruby with an unimpressed look on her face.
“Shut up you ghost freak! I took on one of your buddies earlier, and I can take you on too!” said Rainbow Dash as she got into a fighting stance.
“Alright Rainbow Dash, you’re really starting to piss me off.”
“Oh really? I’m already dead, you can’t kill me! And the others that can only make me suffer are already dead. He…” pointing a hoof to Konrad, “…did ALL of that to them. Don’t make him do the same to you!” said Ruby with a smirk.
“I killed them too Ruby, do not minimize my part.” corrected Mitta with an annoyed look.
“Yeah, but in her defense, I got more than you did and…” said Konrad.
Taking a look at Rainbow Dash with a bloody smile,
“… I did it 20% percent cooler, something she can’t do.”
At this point, Rainbow Dash was absolutely furious at Konrad’s jab with her face turning bright red and snorting at the same time. Rainbow Dash tried to make break at Konrad, hoping to smash him head on, but was stopped by Princess Celestia as her solar colored magic grabbed control of her tail. Realizing who stopped her, Rainbow Dash looked down in the ground in embarrassment as she flew back to her friends, but not without casting a mean glare in Konrad’s direction.
“Yeah same to you Rainbow Dash, didn’t like you that much in the first place.”
Realizing that insulting Rainbow Dash, although satisfying, wouldn't help them out at all, Konrad began to frantically think of anything to help diffuse the situation.
“C’mon think! Talk or something!”
Konrad went to hold his arms in the air only to have his left one ache in pain before putting them back down, holding the injured arm with his right. Spitting out some blood, Konrad tried to smile in a reassuring way, which only seemed to make Rarity’s face turn green.
"Okay, trying to be non threatening didn't work out....heh Rarity's face turned green."
Konrad turned to Princess Celestia, still donned in a Nightmare Night like Armor, Konrad held up one finger and asked,
“Your highness, would you just give us a second?” asked Konrad.
Princess Celestia appeared to as if she was going to reply what was most likely a denial of his request, but stopped when she saw Konrad promptly ignored her as he turned his attention to Ruby and Mitta. Princess Celestia narrowed her eyes at Konrad as he huddled together with Ruby and Mitta.
Konrad whispered to Ruby and Mitta asking them,
“Ladies, why are they calling me a Blood Hoof?”
“That is because you look like one Konrad. Your skin looks rotten, your open fresh cut wounds look coagulated, and your eyes are as red as mine. You actually look fearsome and handsome I must say.” replied Mitta with her eye brow raising up and looking at Konrad's appearance with interest.
"Mitta thinking I'm handsome? Okay, no Mitta....just no."
While Konrad gave a nervous smile, Ruby blushed in embarrassment with her ears lowering down.
“Mom!”
“Relax Ruby, I’m just teasing." said Mitta while rolling her eyes with smirk.
"Good....don't do it again...I already saw your zombie "marehood" earlier.... I'm gonna need a lot of booze to unsee or forget that!"
While Konrad relaxed a bit knowing that Mitta was simply teasing, Ruby began to pout at her mother. Konrad couldn't but help find the ghost pony's pouting to be very cute.
“Well, it’s still not funny! They look like they want to kill both of you! I’m not going to lose both of you! I can’t be alone! Not anymore, not when we just stopped the nightmare!” replied a worried Ruby.
Putting a hand on Ruby’s neck and messaging it slightly, Konrad made eye contact as he felt the ghost mare relax under his touch. With her teary eyes, she looked at his now glowing red, but peaceful eyes as his made contact with her glowing yellow eyes. Konrad spoke in a soft and reassuring tone,
“You won’t lose us Ruby, I won’t let that happen. Your suffering is over, and I won’t let the pain come back to you. And…wait…I look like a Blood Hoof?!
As the realization finally sunk in, Konrad pulled his hands away and looked at them. Sure enough they were as gray as dead skin could get, with a few veins showing through. His cuts indeed were coagulated as Mitta claimed, causing Konrad’s blood to freeze in fear and sweat blood from his forehead.
“No no no no NOOO!!!! This is a fucking load of horseshit! I’m not a goddamn Blood Hoof! Why did this happen?!”
“How is this possible?!” asked Konrad.
Both Ruby and Mitta looked at each other before shrugging the pony equivalent of “I don’t know”. Mitta had a look of sympathy for Konrad as Ruby looked at him with great worry for his safety. Konrad looked around trying to think of anything until he found a large piece of the glass punch bowl that had knocked him down. He could see a small reflection coming from it, with the most notable feature being his eyes. The glowing red coming from his eyes sent shock waves through his mind before they turned to a dark glow, showing the anger flowing through Konrad.
“The punch that had the Poison Joak! Son of a-“ said Konrad.
“YOUR TIME IS UP! FACE US THIS INSTANT!” shouted Princess Celestia.
Exchanging nervous looks, they turned back to Princess Celestia, Ruby, Mitta, and Konrad looked at each other hoping one of them had an idea. As it was obvious none of them had a plan, as Konrad looked at Princess Celestia with a nervous smile and asked,
“This may be a useless request but…parlay?”
To Konrad, he had only seen Princess Celestia a few times on the show with her own moments of anger. That was nothing compared to the look of border line rage across her face, one that seemed to outmatch Luna’s glare. If Konrad wasn’t so tired and if there was more light he would have seen the pulsating vein on her neck.
“Yup, I’m fucked….again.”
“OUR TERMS HAVE NOT CHANGED! YOU WILL SURRENDER NOW AND PAY FOR THE CRIMES YOU HAVE COMMITTED AGAINST MY SUBJECTS! WE WILL NOT NEGOTIATE ANYMORE!” yelled Princess Celestia.
“Woah woah woah! What crimes?! What are you talking about!?” asked Konrad with a look of confusion on his face.
“YOU HAVE THREATENED AN INNOCENT SEA SERPENT, ASSAULTED MY CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD AND A PRINCE OF EQUESTRIA, CONSORTED WITH THE VILE BEASTS KNOWN AS BLOOD HOOVES AND HAVE JOINED THEM, CONSORTED TO PONYNAPPING AND ASSAULTING A FILLY, AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, PONYNAPPED AND ASSAULTED MY DEAR SISTER!”
“Shit! I forgot they saw me kick Shining Armor’s plot. So this is just after he got married huh? Now I know what season I’m in, not that it helps me. But Ponynap Princess Luna and Apple Bloom?! Oh fuck no I didn’t! Now I know that serpent blabbed about me.”
Snapping out of his thought, Konrad noticed Ruby step towards Princess Celestia as the ghost mare spoke up to defend him.
“He most certainly did not hurt Apple Bloom, nor did he ponynap your sister! If it wasn’t for him, both of them would have been dead. You should be thanking him. You’re just like your sister “Princess” Celestia, so bucking spoiled!”
Princess Celestia took a step back and her eyes widened at the language and defiance Ruby was showing her. Nopony had clearly ever talked back to her or had shown such a lack of respect. The other Guards looked at Ruby with their eyes narrowing as their forelegs wrapped around their spears. Konrad looked at the force before him with a nervous smile while saying,
“Uh Ruby, thanks but you’re not help-“
“Hey Ghost freak! Nopony talks to the Princess that way!” said Rainbow Dash.
Looking up just time to see Rainbow Dash get back in a fighting stance, Ruby rolled her eyes and said to Rainbow Dash,
“Oh really? Well I just did, and I did the same to Princess Luna too. She tried to use her position to intimidate me, and what did she get for her trouble? A black eye.” said Ruby with a hint of pride in her voice.
Konrad facepalmed and groaned in a painful frustration as Princess Celestia, and the mane six looked at Ruby with anger in their eyes.
“Oh great…dammit Ruby! You’re not helping at all!”
"Ruby....thanks for defending me but you're really not helping."
“Hey, that’s not very nice Miss Ghosty!” said Pinkie Pie with a cute angry face.
"Well to be fair, neither was Luna, she hit me first with her magic." replied Ruby with an annoyed look.
“So yah hit Princess Luna? Why Ah’ve never heard of such a low down move before in mah life!” said Applejack.
As Mitta and Konrad watched the exchange, Ruby gave Applejack a look of bewilderment and asked,
"Umm...didn't I just say she hit me first? And if you think that's a low down move, try living my life as a ghost for past 100 years. You wouldn't believe what I've been through."
“This can’t be true! I can’t believe I was wrong about you two! And to think that I thought you two were friendly! You hurt my brother!” said Twilight with a look of anger on her face.
"Well, he was the one that threatened to turn us to stone and jabbed Konrad with a spear! We were just trying to bring Luna and Apple Bloom back, but he wouldn't listen-"
“Why the nerve of you! You struck a Princess of Equestria?! I hope you receive your just Desserts!” said Rarity as she turned her heard away while sticking her muzzle in the air like a rich pony.
"-at all...you know, I'm starting to fell like I'm being ignored." said Ruby as she turned to Mitta and Konrad.
"I don't know what to say Ruby, at least I'm paying attention to..."
Konrad trailed of as he saw Fluttershy, who was no longer hiding behind Princess Celestia, was now hovering next to Rainbow Dash, who looked like she would attack at any moment. Fluttershy appeared to be staring at Ruby, but not just any stare, it was THE stare. Konrad observed as Ruby made eye contact with Fluttershy, who appeared to be trying her hardest. But it was no use as Ruby simply turned away from Fluttershy’s stare and looked at Konrad with confusion evident in her glowing yellow eyes. Konrad simply shrugged before looking back at a disappointed but still angry Fluttershy.
“Heh, even when she’s angry, the D’awww is still prevalent. I guess Fluttershy's stare got nothing on Ruby.”
"- you...Well, you're not being ignored now. I can't tell who won that stare contest though."
"Stare contest? That's what that was? Yeah, she sure is really threatening."
Fluttershy was really getting mad as Konrad could see her pout with cute anger. She was just like she was on the show when she was angry and if they weren't in a bad position situation, he might have hugged her.
"Scratch that, that's just plain weird to have a stranger hug you for no reason and boy is she mad at Ruby!"
“OOOH! Desserts!? Where? I’m could go for some cake right about now!”
“Cake? There WAS some before I blew it up.” said Ruby.
“WHAT!? Why would you do that Miss Ghosty? Cake is soooo good!” asked Pinkie Pie.
“Heh, good old Pinkie Pie.”
“Because I was busy trying to shoot one of them with his weapon and I missed. Besides, it’s just cake. Not like anything special was lost and my name is Ruby, not ghosty.” said Ruby with a not amused look on her face.
“Are you kidding me silly filly?! Every cake is a special story of its own!”
“Urge to make cake related joke rising…”
“I think you need to lay off sugar and just stick to hay.” said Ruby.
"Seriously? That's so weird! You're not the first pony to say that to me this month, but sugar is just too good to get rid of!"
"I can tell, since your so bucking energetic." replied Ruby with an eye brow raised.
“ENOUGH!” shouted Princess Celestia. “SINCE YOU WILL NOT COMPLY WITH MY ORDERS AND HAVE ADMITTED YOUR GUILT, I SENTENCE YOU TO PETRIFICATION BY THE ELEMENTS!"
“Oh yeah! You’re bucked now bozo!” said Rainbow Dash.
That got Konrad's, Ruby's, and Mitta's attention as Princess Celestia boomed her judgement against them.
"What?! Oh hell no! I'm not going to be a garden decoration! Princess Celestia, you're really not giving me much of a choice here."
"WHAT!? ADMIT GUILT?! I didn't admit ANYTHING at all! You're just going off what some stupid panicky and effeminate sea surfer screamed about!" yelled Konrad.
"Effeminate?! Why that Sea Serpent was nothing more than a nice gentlecolt! He has class and sophistication, something a ruffian such as your self could never hope to achieve." said Rarity.
"Achieve? Missy, that serpent is anything but a guy. If he was here, I'd have to ask for his guy card on the spot, but he'd probably turn the river into a stream of piss since he's such a coward despite being bigger than me."
A few of the Guards in the far back could be heard laughing, and Konrad had no doubt about they agreed with him concerning the "Steve Magnet" Serpent. The Princess and mane six however, including Pinkie Pie, were appalled at Konrad's use of the word piss. It seemed that some words were universal, but the word "Fuck" was something they didn't know about. Making a mental note to keep his swearing down as best as possible, Konrad knew that he had just made him self a bigger hole that he had to get out of.
"Missy?! I'll have you know that I am a mature Lady, and I do not wish to be addressed as "Missy". I am NOT some filly who is still in school!"
"Mature? Oh so that means your old right?" asked Ruby.
"Ruby..." said Konrad.
Rarity took a step back with contempt in her eyes at Ruby for calling her old. Apparently, no woman or mare ever like being called old.
"Old? OLD!? How dare you! I am NOT old!"
"Well, you said mature and so you must be-mnph!"
Konrad immediately held Ruby's muzzle down and said
"Don't. Let me handle this."
Ruby merely narrowed her eyes at Rarity before turning her glowing eyes back to Konrad. They ceased narrowing as she nodded in agreement with him. Letting go of Ruby's muzzle, Konrad turned Princess Celestia, hoping to explain himself better and to avoid being turned to stone.
"Your highness, you'll have to forgive her since she's suffered really bad for a long time. You see neither her nor I "ponynapped" Princess Luna or Apple Bloom. We were bringing them back after fighting the Blood Hooves earlier in some crummy old castle."
"Crummy?" asked Princess Celestia in her normal voice with a hint of her feelings being hurt.
Konrad reprimanded himself mentally as he forgot that it was their old home and feelings were likely still attached there just as Luna displayed earlier.
"Damn, must be really important to them. Okay, be very careful Konrad! You're walking on thin ice."
"Okay okay, historic looking castle. Point is, "they"..."
Using his good arm, Konrad pulled up his arms and pointed at the dead bodies around him before turning back around.
"Kept trying to kill us every step of the way. I tried to get out of the forest with Luna but they blocked off the pathway and well....you no doubt saw my truck from earlier in the river."
"Truck? So that's what it's called?" asked Twilight Sparkle.
The Element of Magic suddenly used her horn and a small note book with a quill appeared. The items were enveloped around her magic and scribbled what Konrad assumed was a note about his truck.
"Yeah, that's what it is...then the serpent dude screamed his heart out and ran away."
"Is that before or after you insulted him?" asked Princess Celestia.
Giving a nervous smile and scratching the back of his head, Konrad replied,
"Well, you see....that was just me being frustrated. I yelled to get his attention and he just assumed I was a ponynapper and swam away. Seeing as how he was my ticket to get Luna out of there and when he ran away leaving us behind...I got mad."
"I see....and what is her excuse for insulting him.?" asked Princess Celestia as she turned to Ruby giving her a stern look.
"My excuse? More like frustration at his stupid assumption that we were responsible for ponynapping Apple Bloom and Luna-"
"My sister is a Princess and you will address her with the proper title Miss Ruby. If you want me to change my mind, you will show some respect this instant!"
As Konrad looked at Ruby, he could tell she was doing her best not bite back at Princess Celestia. Taking a deep breath Ruby continued,
"My apologies. The serpent assumed that we ponynapped "Princess" Luna and Apple Bloom as we were trying to get him to give a us a ride out of the forest. I insulted him out of frustration as well. If you were in our hooves, you might have done so too."
"Insulting others after they are scared in the presence of an unknown being and Ghost will never get you anywhere my little pony." retorted Princess Celestia.
"I'm not your little pony, you-"
"Ruby! Stop for crying out loud!" interrupted Konrad.
Ruby gave Konrad an apologetic look which he returned with a reassuring look. Taking his attention back to Princess Celestia, whose patience was pretty much done, if not already broken.
"Look, we could have been less intimidating, I admit that, but we were trying to do the right thing. As for the fight between your Captain/Prince whatever, that was a misunderstanding as well."
"Let me venture a guess...you insulted him too? Is this a common practice where you come from? To insult and fight everypony?"
"No, not it's not Princess Celestia, but when he threatened to tell you guys that we ponynapped and a hurt your sister and Apple Bloom, I lost it and punched him."
"So you hurt him out of fear?" asked Twilight Sparkle.
Konrad turned to Twilight Sparkle and said,
"Pretty much that and out of anger too. I don't like being threatened with imprisonment/petrification, especially when my friends are threatened too and ARE innocent. Granted he was just going off of that "gentlecolt's" word,"
Holding his hand up, Konrad curled his index and middle fingers back and forth to emphasize Rarity's description of the Serpent in a sarcastic manner. This was not lost on the ponies, especially Rarity, due to the fact that Spike's claw was capable of the same gestures as a human was capable of. Rarity gave Konrad a unique glare that involved merely her eyes narrowing in a "I'll destroy you!" look. Resisting the urge to smile at Rarity's temper, Konrad continued,
"and doing his job but again, I don't do well when being threatened. Did I mention that I don't like getting petrified? I'd really like for that to not happen to either of us."
"Is that all you have to say for yourself Mr.Konrad?" asked Princess Celestia.
"Well...that and I'm not actually a Blood Hoof."
"Now do yah expect us to believe that? You look just like one of them Blood Hoof fellers and so does she!"
"Yeah about that, that's the poison joak's doing." said Konrad.
"Oh really? Yah sure she didn't have anything to about that?" asked Applejack while pointing a hoof at Mitta.
"You would be wise not to accuse me of his appearance Miss Cowpony. I had nothing to do with his appearance, and he is speaking the truth." said Mitta with an annoyed look on her face.
"Mah name's Applejack, and Ah know one of your pals hurt mah little sister!" yelled Applejack.
"Oh, pardon me for making that mistake since I really don't know who you are. Perhaps you would do well not to let your younger sister wander alone in a forest. A responsible sibling would know better."
Applejack's face was now turning red like a tomato at Mitta's statement and looked like she was ready to hogtie Mitta in an instant. Konrad's heart began to rapidly beat as he was nervous about a fight breaking out between the mares.
"Hey Miss zombie! Applejack is responsible! She's the most responsibilitiest pony in all of Ponyville!" said Pinkie Pie.
"Based on what I've seen, that isn't the case. If it wasn't for me, my daughter and Konrad, she would not have made it out of Sunny Town alive or even the forest for that matter. I think there's room for improvement."
"Mitta, you're not helping either!" said Konrad.
"What is the point Konrad? They've already deemed us the evil party, I don't see how we can reason with them."
"We ARE reasonable, it's just we don't know if you're telling the truth or not!" replied Twilight Sparkle
"You wouldn't be able to tell the truth even if it bit your flank like a snake!" shouted Ruby.
"I like you guys, but I think you just hit the last nail in our coffin. I'm fucked for sure."
"I think I've heard enough from you three. Since I cannot tell if you are speaking the truth, and your constant disrespect towards my subjects and I, you are sentenced to indefinite petrification until I deem otherwise."
"WHAT?! NO! That's not fair! I saved your sister and her little sister too!"
"I cannot tell if that is true or not. What I do know to be true is that you have threatened a peaceful subject, attacked two of my Guards and my Captain of the Royal Guard, who happens to be married to my niece and is the brother of my pupil Twilight Sparkle.
"That's me in case you forgot." said Twilight.
"Oh thanks for reminding me! I kinda forgot about that since you know, I'm about to get turned to stone!" yelled Konrad.
"Well you brought it on yourself bucko! You're zombie face ain't getting out of this one bozo!" yelled Rainbow Dash.
"Brought it upon myself? I was kinda trying to save everypony's life, including myself. And Ruby is right, your insults really do suck."
Rainbow Dash looked like she wanted o yell back at him but was stopped as Princess Celestia jumped in before she could say anything.
"Enough you two! Until I can determine what is true, I cannot allow you three to remain free as you represent a threat to my subjects. If what you say is true and my sister confirms your story, then I will return with a new decision. You will not harmed, but you will not be allowed to remain free. Do not resist as it will only make your situation worse. Should you do so, I will do whatever it takes to keep my subjects safe."
"And I will do whatever it takes to keep my daughter safe, including Konrad!"
"And I'm not going to let you hurt my special somebody!" shouted Ruby as she and Mitta stepped in front of Konrad.
"Umm....Ruby, Mitta?" asked Konrad.
But it was no use as the mares would not pay attention to him and continued to banter back an forth.
"Special somebody? You mean somepony right?" asked Twilight Sparkle.
"No, special "somebody", he isn't a pony, I thought a bookworm such as yourself could tell that."
"I am not a bookworm! And wait...somebody? I've heard that term before..." asked Twilight Sparkle as she went through her notebook looking for the answer.
Ruby rolled her eyes at Twilight Sparkle reading her notebook her actions contradicted her denial of being a bookworm. Rainbow Dash, however, was not going to let the opportunity to insult the trio slip away.
"Pft! Who cares! Let these two freaks be together! They'd have ugly foals anyway, that's if they could have them!" said Rainbow Dash before she began to laugh, pointing her right hoof at Ruby.
"Oh shit....she went there."
Stepping forward to Ruby's side, he looked at the ghost mare and saw a streak of tears come out of her glowing yellow eyes. The sight was heart wrenching as the fact that Ruby could never be a mother, even if she was alive was impossible if she was with him. Her right to motherhood, which was taken away at the hooves of her former friends, was being shoved right in her face as if a bully was rubbing her muzzle in the dirt. Konrad knew Ruby did nothing to deserve the treatment she had received in the past and she certainly didn't deserve that jab coming from Rainbow Dash.
"Okay, I don't care at this point, Ruby and Mitta have suffered enough, Apple Bloom and Princess Luna are safe, and Rainbow Dash is going to learn how much she's pissed me off. Nopony talks to Ruby that way!"
Ruby began to cry and whimper as a flood of bad memories came surging though her, as well as the fact her dream of being a mother with Konrad's children was smashed like a mirror. Mitta put her hoof on her daughter's shoulder as she cried. Fluttershy, who was no feeling very sympathetic to Ruby, turned to Rainbow Dash, and said,
"Rainbow Dash, I think that was mean of you. You're making her cry."
"Pft so? They hurt Apple Bloom and Princess Luna! They're just lying to save their own coats!"
"Still, that was very mean to say she can't have foals, even if it's true." said Fluttershy.
"I have to agree with her Rainbow Dash, that was way too far, even if they are undead beasts."
"Yeah well..."
Everypony ceased talking as they noticed Konrad had walked right up to Rainbow Dash, causing the Guard to point their spears at him. The look of Konrad's Blood Hoof like face made the Element Bearers to take a step back except Rainbow Dash. They were now staring each other down as the situation was now thick as butter, with Ruby and Mitta staring at Konrad, as well as the Guards and Princess Celestia. Nopony was sure what was going to happen next, but Konrad knew what he was going to do for sure. Rainbow Dash glared at Konrad, who in return simply gave her a cold, murderous look with his eyes glowing a dark red.
"So, what are you going to do freak? You can't hurt all of us, and you're going to be turned to stone. Why don't you just walk away right now and accept being a statue bozo?"
Konrad didn't say anything at all but merely just kept staring and staring at her. This began to unnerve Rainbow Dash a bit but none the less she stood firm. After 10 seconds of silence Konrad spoke up in a raspy and menacing tone, giving everypony except Mitta and Ruby a chill to their spine.
"Oh I don't have to hurt to everypony Rainbow Dash...only you."
"My dick will accept being a statue!"
"Okay, renegade star, you can appear now! I'm trying to be intimidating to save Ruby's honor!"
The moment Konrad wished for the symbol to appear, it suddenly began to flash in the corner of his eye.
He gave into it with all of his heart. Konrad then gave Rainbow Dash a big smile as his teeth were sharp and as bloody as Mitta's, even more so due to the fact that his teeth were meant to eat meat. Rainbow Dash face was no longer full of a smug look but one of fear, as the color of her face went pale and her pupils shrank. Using his good arm, Konrad clenched his fist, pulled his arm back, and swung it at Rainbow Dash's face with a speed that would make her or any speed junkie jealous. The fist made contact with the mare's face and the classic sound of a loud punch was heard.
Everypony stood still with either a look of shock on their face or went "OOHH!" in sympathy for Rainbow Dash. The Pegasus mare and bearer of the Element of Loyalty, fell out of the air as Konrad's fist struck her. She collapsed on the ground and moaned in pain as Konrad casually walked back, satisfied that that Ruby's honor was saved, even if they were going to be petrified.
"I might have sold my soul away, but if it was going to happen, I'm going to do it defending Ruby."
As Konrad made it back to Ruby's side, he gave the ghost mare a wink along with a look of satisfaction on his face. Ruby's tears ceased pouring from her glowing yellow eyes, and a slow smile of peace and happiness began to spread on her face. His heart suddenly began to flutter as she made eye contact with his with her eyes now glowing a soft yellow instead of the normal dark yellow they usually were. Neither of them heard the command of Princess Celestia telling the mane six to activate their Elements as they continued to look at each other tuning everything out.
"What....what's happening to me? Is my heart growing three sizes large or something?
Or am I....no that can't be!"
All six of the Elements began to glow, lifting their bearers up in the air. The mane six’s eyes were closed as the magical energy that Konrad recognized from the show began to flow out to each of the Elements. Pinkie Pie’s Element was the first to pulsate, shooting a blue highlight of her Element’s symbol. The pink color emanating from Pinkie Pie's Element snapped Konrad out of his trance with Ruby's yellow eyes and causing him to look around. He began to sweat blood as he knew what would happen next, and began to wonder if he could escape at all. Unfortunately, the Guards were one step ahead of him and had encircled them while they were being confronted by Princess Celestia. Realizing that there was no way out, especially in his wounded condition, Konrad gave up hope of escape, and looked at his Blank and Ghost companion.
“Uh…Ruby, Mitta? I think you two should run and leave me…now!” shouted Konrad.
“We will not abandon you Konrad! I will stand with you to the end just as you have sworn to Ruby and I.” said Mitta as she looked at Applejack’s Element beginning to pulsate orange.
Looking at Mitta, Konrad nodded with a smile and said,
“Thank you.”
Despite a having jagged and bloody set of teeth, Mitta gave Konrad a heartfelt smile, to his surprise, that didn't creep him out.
“No Konrad, thank you for being such a brave and strong gentlecolt. You stopped the bastards that murdered my daughter by standing up to them when you could have run away. You even stood up to me in the process too and showed me my errors in a…”colorful” way.” said Mitta as she narrowed her eyes.
Konrad couldn’t but help chuckle at her emphasis on the word colorful. Mitta did the same before continuing,
“You’ve made my daughter very happy after all the suffering she’s been through, and I’m proud that she found such a treasure such as yourself. So once again, I give you permission to date and marry my daughter Konrad. I think you’ve earned her.” said Mitta while giving him a wink.
Blushing with blood oozing out of his gray cheeks, Konrad nodded before turning to Ruby. Just before he made eye contact with Ruby, he saw Fluttershy’s Element pulsate with its own outline of yellow Butterflies.
“Damn…I can’t believe this…at least Mitta likes me now.”
“And I’m not leaving you either Konrad! If this is the end, I want to be with you, with my hooves in your hands…Konrad?”
Konrad looked at Ruby, making eye contact with her. The ghost mare known as Ruby was simply looking at him, smiling and showing no more fear as if such a thing were an ancient memory. Konrad’s heart was beating fast as the ghost mare got closer to him.
“Yes Ruby?” replied Konrad.
Another Element lit up as both turned to see that it was Rainbow Dash’s Element. It pulsated a bit louder than the rest, causing both Ruby and Konrad to narrow their eyes at her before turning back to each other. Ruby stood on her hind legs as Konrad grabbed her forelegs with his hands firmly wrapped around her hooves. As Ruby balanced herself with Konrad’s helping hands, Ruby continued to look into his now bright glowing red eyes. She put herself closer and closer and Konrad did the same.
“I-I…I love you Konrad.”
“Ruby loves me…I already knew that but as for me….”
“Ruby...I…I lo-.” replied Konrad.
“Today is your very lucky day Konrad. Get him now! Use Ruby as the catalyst!” said an all too familiar voice.
Ruby’s eyes lit up in a bright white glow as Rarity’s Element began to pulsate its diamond outline, adding more to the Element’s collective power. This took Konrad by surprise as well as Ruby herself.
“What the hell?!” shouted Konrad, causing Ruby to freak out as she realized what was happening her eyes.
“What the fuck is going on with Ruby?! And was that…no it couldn’t be!”
“Konrad! Mommy! What’s happening to me?! I’m scared!” cried Ruby.
“I don’t know, but hold on tight! I won’t let go and it’s going to be alright!” said Konrad.
“It’s okay my child. Konrad and I will be here for you.” shouted Mitta as she looked at her daughter.
Konrad suddenly wrapped his arms around Ruby as her eyes began to get brighter and brighter, causing Konrad to close his eyes. He felt the grip of Ruby’s forelegs as it was obvious she would never let go of him. He began to stroke his fingers through her mane as she began to cry, not knowing what was happening to her, and more importantly the fear of losing Konrad.
“Shhh….it’s okay Ruby…I’m here for you…And you too Mitta, get over here!”
Using his good arm, Konrad grabbed Mitta’s neck and pulled her over to him and Ruby. This took Mitta by surprise, but the zombie mother instantly understood what he meant and joined them in a group hug. Twilight Sparkle was now lifted in the air as her Element of Magic lit up, causing her eyes to glow white as well. The combined power of the Elements shot out a Rainbow, flying straight into the air before arching down towards Ruby, Mitta, and Konrad. As Konrad saw the rainbow head their way, he looked grunted at it before turning to Ruby.
“See Ruby, we’re all here…together until the very end.”
“I love you Konrad! I love you mommy!” said Ruby as she began to cry as loud as Pinkie Pie's Element began to pulsate it's own magic with Balloon outlines.
“I love you too Ruby.” said Mitta as she too cried with tears of blood coming out
“This is it! I need to tell her!”
With the Rainbow barreling down on them, it covered all three of its targets. Konrad could feel the magic attempt to restrict him with the same sensation that Shining Armor’s magic had except it was ten times more powerful. He strained to resist it in the same manner that he had with the strange black haze, but with his wounds to great, he couldn’t hold it anymore. Konrad was simply too tired to put up a fight against the Elements of Harmony, which was a fight that he didn’t think he would have won anyway. Giving up what effort he had left, he looked at Ruby with a heartfelt smile, putting a hand on her cheek as he wiped a tear away and said,
“Ruby…I choose-.”
Konrad looked at Ruby as her eyes suddenly flashed a bright white, even brighter than what Twilight Sparkle’s eyes were. Ruby’s eyes suddenly consumed Konrad’s vision blocking out everything the man could see, even Ruby herself.
“Story of the fucking Blanks....I’m ready for my game over now.”
With another big and even brighter flash, a great loud noise was made.
BOOM!
The last thing that Konrad heard was the sound of the Element’s Magic and Ruby’s screaming, before the boom drowned out the noise out. His ears rang for a few seconds as the brightness turned to darkness and the ringing in his ears ceased as quick as the darkness appeared. Konrad, Ruby and Mitta, were no more.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The rainbow that was barreling down on its targets suddenly dissipated as it made contact with Konrad, Ruby and Mitta. The Elements of Harmony ceased its grand exercise of power as the flash was suddenly gone as it had appeared. Everypony, including Princess Celestia, was blinded as their ears rang from the loud noise of the boom, causing a few ponies to fall down or bump into one another. When all of their eyes had adjusted, the sight before them caused shock and confusion.
“What?! But…how?!” asked Twilight Sparkle to nopony in particular.
“I don’t believe this! That was just so…unexpected.” said Rarity, not noticing that her mane was blown back in to a straight mess.
“Woah nellie! This don’t make any sense whatsoever!” exclaimed Applejack as she adjusted her crooked Stetson.
Rainbow Dash flew right over to the spot where Konrad, Ruby and Mitta were, walking around on the ground looking for an answer. Everypony looked at the spot where the trio had been, only to see that there was nothing. There were no bodies, no hoof prints, not even a body or even a trace of remains. The strange bipedal Blood Hoof known as Konrad, the ghost known as Ruby, and the zombie known as Mitta, had completely vanished in thin air.
Princess Celestia herself was at a loss as to what they had just witnessed and began to think of anything that might explain the lack of stone remains.
“I don’t understand this at all. They should have turned to stone! Nothing is more powerful than the Elements of Harmony! So why are they not here in a stone prison? At least they are no longer a threat to my subjects. I cannot believe the events of this night but…it happened. It’s time to order that this place be cleansed and to keep the events on a need to know basis. I don’t want anypony to panic over zombies.”
“What the hay?! Where did they go? Did the Elements completely vaporize them or something like that?” asked Rainbow Dash as she began to look around where the trio were.
“I don’t know Rainbow Dash, the Elements were not supposed to do that.” said Princess Celestia as she stepped forward towards the point of impact.
“But…what does that mean?” asked Twilight Sparkle as she began to join Rainbow Dash in her investigation of the spot.
“I am not sure my faithful student. The Elements of Harmony have only been known to turn those that are evil into stone, such as Discord. In fact, this is the only known case of the Elements being used on somepony besides Discord or Nightmare Moon. Even my sister and I know little about how it affects others when used against them as they've only been used three times in known Equestrian history, two of which were Discord himself.”
“But Discord was evil, and so were the Blood Hooves, so theoretically, they should have turned to stone…Do you think we made a mistake?” asked a worried Twilight Sparkle.
Before Princess Celestia could respond, Rainbow Dash jumped in and said,
“Buck no we didn’t make a mistake!”
“Rainbow Dash! Use better language please, especially in front of the Princess.”
“Heh…sorry about that your highness…” said Rainbow Dash with an embarrassed look as she hovered above the ground.
“But seriously, you all saw that it was the same two from earlier! You know, the one that your brother was beaten by?”
“But my brother did say that there was more to the story, and that he wasn’t one of them, and they did appear to…to…stop the other Blood Hooves…OH! I can’t look at this anymore.” said Twilight Sparkle as her face went green.
The sight of the dead Blood Hooves was simply just too much for Twilight sparkle as she turned away from the many dead Blood Hooves. Rarity did the same as well, and so did Fluttershy who flew to her friend to making sure she was alright. Rainbow Dash and Apple Jack continued to look at the carnage around them in shock and awe, unable to turn away from the horrific sight. Pinkie Pie ran over to the now destroyed cake ignoring the many dad bodies that lay around. Using her hoof to take a dab of cake, Pinkie Pie took a sample of the simple but large classic pink cake. As the cake made contact with her tongue, he face instantly turned many shades of green before spitting it out going,
“EEEUAAGH! This cake is nasty! Tastes like mud and worms! Another baked bad! What a lie!”
Several of the guards looked at the cake with disgust before returning to their serious demeanor. Princess Celestia smiled before returning to her student’s question.
“That is true my faithful student, perhaps he wasn’t really one of them at that point…but unfortunately, his appearance suggested otherwise. Perhaps he turned into one of them, and rebelled against their ranks, or maybe he was the victim of the Poison Joak plant as the Forest is full of the prankster plant. It doesn’t, however, change the facts that he WAS a member of the undead, did not surrender, and failed to follow my commands and also struck Rainbow Dash. It also doesn’t explain why there was indeed a Blood Hoof with him.”
“But…but there was just so much that didn’t make sense! And now that the Elements of Harmony had a completely unknown effect on them, making them disappear instead of petrification? I just don’t understand it at all!”
Walking over to her student, who had a sad expression, Princess Celestia nuzzled her, and said,
“You are a wonderful mare and a wonderful student Twilight. The fact that you see the good in everypony and the fact that you look at everything before jumping to a conclusion shows the wonderful soul you have. We may never know full truth about this whole…horde of Blood Hooves, the origin of the Ghost, or even where or more importantly what Konrad was. We handled the situation as best as we could and there was nothing you did wrong. Do not ever forget about that.”
Looking up at Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle gave a small but weary smile.
“No doubt this whole night has been very taxing for her as it has for everypony. What a terrible night this has been. At least young Apple Bloom, and my sister are safe and sound as well as Twilight Sparkle and her brother. I think it’s time to destroy this sight of evil from the face of Equestria…just how did all of this come to be? Where did this evil town come from? I don’t remember anypony remaining here after the fight of Discord so long ago.”
Turning to Lt. Vigilant Sight, Princess Celestia gave the scout the final order concerning Sunny Town.
“Lieutenant Sight?”
“Yes your highness?” saluted the bruised and bitten stallion.
“I want you to search the whole town for any more of these…“
Taking a look around Sunny Town, Princess Celestia looked at the sad, empty and dark sight before her eyes. She wondered if this town had innocence once upon a time, and shuddered at the thought of Ponyville become such a sight as well. Taking a look at the dead Blood Hooves, Princess Celestia, narrowed her eyes and said,
“Abominations…if no more are found, I want you to burn this town to ashes. Make sure the remains are no more.”
"Yes, you're majesty! Also of note, we found these on the ground while we surrounded the unknown being called Konrad."
The Unicorn Scout used his magic to levitate three objects in the air, allowing Princess Celestia and the mane 6 to see what Vigilant Sight found. The first one was very small, about roughly the side of a hoof and was L shaped. It was mostly made of metal and had some strange writing on the side, with a 10 in a small circle. There was what appeared to be some sort of lever, similar to a trigger of a cross bow except it was surrounded by a curved bar.
The next object was longer and large as it was made out of metal and had an orange banana shaped appendage on the underside of the strange object. The ponies recognized it as the object the serpent described as the "red claw".
The last object was the longest and more interesting of all. They instantly recognized it as the weapon that Konrad used against Shining Armor. It was long and made of metal and two sets of wood, with the front having 6 holes placed in an odd pattern. It had a small metal protrusion that reminded them of a waffle wattern, which Pinkie Pie called pointed out before anypony could say it.
After nodding in agreement, Twilight pointed out the most interesting detail of the weapon, which was some sort of scope on top. Twilight used her magic and took the weapon away from Vigilant Sight, who in return gave her an annoyed look but knew better than to chastise the pupil in front of Princess Celestia.
Twilight Sparkle observed the strange markings which were made up of a few inverted chevrons and a strange numerical marking system inside which was lit up by a red illumination.
"That's strange...I have no idea what the markings mean at all."
"OOH! Let me see!" said Pinkie Pie as she pushed Twilight out of the way.
"Ahh! Pinkie!" yelled Twilight.
But her complaint fell on deaf ears as Pinkie Pie said,
"Ooh! It's so red and numbery with markings and what not! So what's it mean Twilight?"
"Ugghh!!!...Nevermind." said Twilight as she performed a facehoof.
"Oh I wonder what this does..." said Pinkie Pie as she put the tip of her hoof on the strange trigger.
BOOM!
The weapon made the same big flash and loud noise as it had earlier taking everypony by surprise. The bullet went straight into the air and hit several branches before going far off in the distance at a speed that Rainbow Dash could only dream of.
"PIINKIE PIE!" yelled everypony except Princess Celestia.
The Pinkie Party Mare simply lowered her ears and smiled in embarrassment while putting the weapon down and said,
"Oops! Sorry everypony."
"I think nopony should have access to this dangerous weapon for the forseable future. Vigilant Sight, I want these weapons locked up and delivered to my personal vault. Nopony other than me is allowed access to these unless I deem it to be important. Is that understood?"
"Yes, you're majesty! I will see to it personally."
"Thank you Lt. Sight. Keep me informed of anything else noteworthy."
Vigilant Sight gave Princess Celestia a salute before using his magic to pick up the newly found weapons. As he began to walk away, he gave Pinkie Pie scowl, who in return blushed in embarrassment. Several of the Spartrota Guards began the task of collective every single remain that they could find, ensuring that no trace of the Blood Hooves would ever found. The mane six began to gather around Princess Celestia, all wondering what their role would be next. Princess Celestia looked at all of them and saw sadness in their eyes. The evil they had witnessed was very disturbing and would no doubt leave a scar in their minds for a long time.
“Girls, I know this was a very trying time for all of us and that some of us almost lost our loved ones. While Nightmares may come to you in your dreams, know that my sister and I will always be watching over you. And do not forget about your families. Cherish them, and be with them as much as possible, for they will be your guide through any trial that may arrive before you.”
“Thank you Princess Celestia!” said every young mare.
“You’re all very welcome!” smiled Princess Celestia.
All of the young mares smiled at Princess Celestia, who in return replied,
“Come my little ponies, I do believe we have friends and families waiting back home for us, and if I’m not mistaken, a party to prepare for the next night.”
“WOOHOO!!! We’re going PAAARRTAY!” shouted Pinkie Pie as she jumped in the air.
“Oh yeah! A party after kicking Blood Hoof plot?! This is going to be AWESOME!” shouted Rainbow Dash as she somersaulted in the air.
“Ah’m definitely gonna spend that time with mah sister for sure. Ah’m not letting her git away from mah side no siree! Not for long time.” said Applejack.
“I’m just so glad that that those scary zombies are gone. Now that they are, I might join the party too!” said Fluttershy as she spoke up a little louder than normal.
“Cool! Fluttershy is joining the party! Yeeeaaaa! OH! What are you going to be for Nightmare night Fluttershy?”
Putting her hoof to her lower muzzle, Fluttershy began to think very hard before responding,
“Just myself Pinkie Pie, with all my friends.”
The mane six immediately group hugged as as Spartrota Guard went 'D'aww!" nearby earning him a glare from his fellow comrades. As the girls finished their group hug, they giggled at the embarrassment of the Guard before Pinkie Pie said,
“Okie dokie lokie! I think all of you girls are going to LOOOVE the moon cake I made for Princess Luna. OOOHHH! I wonder she and Apple Bloom are awake! I think we should just go there and give them a surprise visit and make them super duper happy!”
“Ah'm up for that! Anypony else?"
"Me too! I hope my brother is awake! I'm so going to give my BBFFF a big hug!"
"As will I when I see my sister my faithful student...and I can't wait to get out of his this dreadful armor. It's very itchy!" said Princess Celestia.
All of the mares giggled and laughed as they made their way towards Ponyville's Hospital, eager to see their friends and family and far away from the place where the horrible nightmare was finally over. While their ordeal was over, a tough decision laid ahead for an out of place human known as Konrad. And that decision involved a Ghost Mare, and an Alicorn Princess. It would be a tough decision indeed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The last thing that Konrad remembered seeing was Ruby's eyes before they went to an insane brightness level. Just as it got to the point where shielding wouldn't work, it was went dark as lighting hit the room, killing the electricity and cutting off the light. It was still dark and Konrad couldn't see anything but feel felt relaxed as if he had finally gotten the rest he needed.
"Ahh....feels good....wait a minute....I'm not dead am I?"
Konrad began to moved his legs and his fingers, feeling something soft. It turned out to be a comforter for a bed, and the soft feeling on his head turned out to be a pillow. This gave Konrad an immense feeling of relief knowing that he was not dead, but rather he was just sleeping.
"A dream....it was all a dream...I must have gotten drunk and had a crazy dream about my little pony and what not. I probably watch that creepy pasta Story of the Blanks game and passed out on my bed. It felt so real and what not. Heh, at least I'm back in my bed, and in the safe confines of Raccoon City."
As Konrad continued to smile with his eyes closed at the strange but pretty realistic dream he had, he heard something strange yet familiar. It was the hum of machinery, and not just any machinery, something from a game of some sorts. If that wasn't the strangest thing, there was also the sound of a strange tune coming from what was most likely music coming from an alarm clock or something as it was gradually getting louder near the right side of his bed.
"Okay....I don't remember setting my alarm clock to play that tune or set it all for that matter...that humming noise is getting annoying, is my refrigerator having sex or something? Scratch that, I hope I'm still just drunk because I can't see Rule 34 of my fridge getting it on right now. My mind as already blown from that dream anyway."
But the humming noise was not stopping and neither was the music. Konrad tried his best to ignore it and continued sleeping but it just wasn't working at all. As the noise kept going, Konrad realized something else, he was not having a headache that was accompanied with a hangover. Whenever Konrad binged on alcohol, he went all out and whenever he woke up, he would always fee like a pixelated character was digging into his brain as if he was hoping to find treasure. This began to cause more alarm for Konrad, he began to slowly recognize the background noise and music.
"Okay....so no hangover pain, and the music and noise are still there.....when I open my eyes, I'm going to see my room with my xbox still running, and hopefully no red slippers....there's no place like home, there's not place like home, there's no place like-"
Konrad opened his eyes and to his horror he did not have the slippers on his feet. It was much worse as the sight before him was not his room at all but of a certain space commander that he was all to familiar with.
"What.....the.....fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccckkkkk?!" was all that Konrad could say as he saw the sight before him.
He was laying not in his bed but someone else's and his brain was trying to process the impossible sight before him. His clothes still looked dirty and bloody, but his skin was no longer gray, nor were his eyes red. His body still had his wounds and the pain suddenly came back to him as he got upright in the bed. After moaning in pain for a few seconds, Konrad spoke to himself while blinking his eyes,
"No....this isn't real. Not happening at all. Just a dream. My Little Pony isn't real and neither is this place."
Doing his best to not panic, Konrad tried his best to breathe before somebody spoke up and caught his attention.
"Well, about time you woke up Konrad been waiting for a few hours. Checking my messages on my terminal was getting real boring. Like the music? I thought it would wake you up. Oh and I got rid of that stupid Blank look for you, but the wounds....that's a different story."
Konrad looked at the man and recognized who it was. It was the man who saved humanity itself in one of his favorite games, it was none other than Commander Shepard himself. Konrad's eyes went wide at the sight of Commander Shepard sitting on the table and drinking what appeared to be a small glass with a bright neon blue drink as if he was the most interesting man in the Galaxy.
"Oh please Konrad, you should meet the real Dos Equis guy. He's really interesting for sure." said Commander Shepard before finishing off the blue drink.
Konrad didn't know what to do as his mind was doing it's best to process the sight and sound of what was the Commander Shepard and the fact that he was now on the Normandy. Konrad blinked several times, hoping the sight would go away. It didn't ,however, and Konrad was in too much pain to slap himself again as he had done in his truck.
"Still here Konrad and no, this isn't a dream. Want a drink? I think you earned one after what you went through."
Konrad suddenly broke out into a maniacal laughter before his eyes went apart from each other, and asked,
"Are you a wizard?"
"Nope, not a wizard but I can explain-"
""WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! WHY AM I QUANTUM LEAPING ALL OVER THE GODDAMN PLACE! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!? AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" screamed Konrad.
Konrad began to freak out and tried to get up of of the bed to run to the door but fell down before the bed landing on his wounded arm.
Commander Shepard merely sighed as he began to shake a mixer before pouring out the same blue liquid drink in a larger glass.
"You're going to need this first Konrad, and then I want you to calm down. Understood?"
"I don't....don't even....you know what? Fuck it. Give me that fucking drink."
"Don't care at this point must have drink so I can pass out. My fucking reality is a damn xbox or tv....or whatever!"
"Nope it's neither of those things Konrad, now get over and sit down. You got questions and I have answers....and alcohol too."
Realizing that Commander Shepard just read his mind, Konrad did the most unmanliest thing that he could think of and that was fainting on the floor. After pouring the drink, another Commander Shepard came through the door at the end of the room. It was none other than the female version of Commander Shepard and who walked towards the bed and saw the unconscious Konrad. A smile came across her face as she turned to the male Shepard and said,
"So....how'd he react?"
"Fainted after going nuts. It's going to be a long explanation."
"Yup, at least you did your job and got his ass out of there. What now?"
"Well, you know he can't go back to Raccoon City and you know we can't put him in Silent Hill either because of....you know."
"Yeah, that sucks for him....we'll pour me a drink. We'll just chill until he wakes up. His mind is going is to blow up when we explain everything."
"That's what the drink is for. Poor guy. So, you want the green one?"
"You know it!"
Both the male and female Shepard sat down on on couch making a few drinks and telling a few jokes before Konrad would wake back up. They were glad that Konrad was safe, and more importantly, their plan to cover their own tracks was working so far. If things would continue to go well, then they wouldn't be caught at all. For Konrad, his life was just getting more complicated.
OOOOOOOHHHHH SNAP! What the hell is going on you might ask? We'll you're going to get answers next chapter and the the one after that will be the ending! It's almost over folks yeah! I'm expecting you guys to go 
and all I can say is I'm sorry for the cheap cliffhanger and the most cheapest way to get you guys stay hooked. Everything will be explained, I assure you, just a warning though, it's really out there, so when the next chapter comes out and you're still confused, I'll answer every single damn question that I can. I hope you guys know your Mass Effect shit! Because this is one hell of a curve ball I just through at you guys. I hope this doesn't kill the interest for any of you folks! Oh yeah, I hope you guys loved the gun porn, because I did! Stay tuned!
Stats
Page generated in 0.031 seconds
Total duration
1,024 users online
1,703,637 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Of course. Literally the moment I'm about to go to bed: 'Oh Hey! A notification! Wonder what thats about?....GOD DAMN IT A NEW CHAPTER FINALLY GOT POSTED.'
I'm so torn.
*Possible Spoilers*
Wait so the other voices that Luna and Konrad heard in there head were the female and male version of shepard?
Mindfucked.
Well Celestia just went Super Ultra Mega Bitchlestia on us all and this chapter just had me saying WHAT coming down to the end. I would have thought at least Fluttershy would have felt bad that they might have vaporized some people/ponies that may have been innocent but NOPE! Seems the entire M6 and Celestia had a lot of bloodlust in them this chapter that overrode even their most basic ability to try and think rationally. No time tah think, here hold mah beer while ah blast these varmints with da Elements.
Well, aside from everything going to hell in a handbasket, I'm looking forward to seeing Luna's reaction when she finds out that her sister "incinerated" her beloved, and Apple Bloom hearing how AJ also did the same to her friend. Along with SA.
3148450 I know right? What could this mean?! Ahahahaha!
No bad... Konrad loves Luna nuff said.
3148367 dude i feel you. But im staying up the whole night xp
And also.... WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!!!!!! This is irrelevantM!!!!!
The chapter should be renamed Celestia is a Jerk.
3147416 You don't have to wait anymore it's up!
3147802 Because the sight of that Pegasi Mare crying just gives me do much satisfaction.
Achievement Unlocked: Being a dick.
3148470 Well, they tried to think straight and rationalize what they saw, but the fact that he was "turned into a Blood Hoof" didn't help and it also didn't help that Ruby and Mitta were getting upity with Princess Celestia, however justified they were. You have to remember they just got done fighting a horde of zombies and Princess Celestia is pretty much concerned with protecting her subjects. And pursuing some strange guy the likes of which nopony has ever seen before, who fought Shining Armor and ran away makes her very suspicious of him in the first place, so I think her Bitchlestia moment is a bit justified.
She also wasn't going to keep them petrified forever if they were telling the truth about saving Apple Bloom and Princess Luna. If not then, oh well she stopped three dangerous beings from running around and hurting her subjects.
As for them not being worried about hurting an innocent? I think I could have pulled one a bit better but I think Fluttershy was concerned about helping and being angry when she should have been.
There are sometimes when you must swallow your pride and and kiss ass or in this case, plot and lot's of it. It's like trying to deal with an angry cop if you get my meaning. Plus, I needed to find a way to move the story along somehow, but the
was planned all along. It will be explained later on and I promise to make it as clear as possible. Does this make sense to you?
3148507 Muwahahahah! You will find out what's going on, don't worry abut still......muwahahahaha!
3148541 Don't be too hard on her. Her niece's husband got attacked, Applejack's sister injured, not to mention her own, and she just got done fighting a bunch of zombies. Combine that with the fact that Konrad is a "Blood Hoof", she's very suspicious of him and the way she sees it, it's like she doesn't have a whole lot of evidence to otherwise suggest his innocence. Plus Ruby and Mitta back talking didn't help even though Rainbow Dash was being a bitch.
Loking at you RD 
It's like catching a child steal from the cookie jar and them denying and getting upity about it. You understand where I'm coming from right?
3148592
im looking forward to the new chapter impatiently now
Damn you and your good story
3148367
SAME. TOTALLY THE SAME SITUATION FOR ME.
Anyway, nice. I have never played a Mass Effect game, as I told you already, but meh.
Lo and behold... it gets featured again.
i.imgur.com/dstGMLe.png
Mind.exe has stopped working and needs to reboot...
3148735 i1288.photobucket.com/albums/b499/humansvd/1-44_zpsc53bb6c3.jpg
Commander Shepard approves.
3148661 NO! Keep going! There's plenty of treasures to be found....
3148653
i1288.photobucket.com/albums/b499/humansvd/index_zpsed457e7d.jpg
3148766 i1288.photobucket.com/albums/b499/humansvd/bsod-av19-alex_zps0b43857a.png
It's okay, take your time.
3148776
Indeed.
This Commander Shepard guy... he's from Mass Effect I assume?
3148826 Yup and this is the fem shepard ( you can make you character female or male )
i1288.photobucket.com/albums/b499/humansvd/index_zps5f5f1e2c.jpg
3148920
She reminds me of that one woman from Wreck It Ralph, except that the hair color's different.
If you've seen that movie, you know who I'm talking about. It's just the way she looks, and that mean expression.
3148935 I thought they copied Mass Effect or something when I first saw it and yes I know what you mean.
3148938
Either way, she looks hot.
Also, what would a zombie marehood look like?
And why am I asking that?
3148970 Imagine rule 34 of mlp....now imagine it with blanks....yeah....pretty gross. And Konrad saw Mitta's on accident. I wanted to put a part where Mitta was getting aroused the same way Ruby was when she was on his back since the mares are prone to strong sexual urges, but I felt that was going to far.
3148979
Well we got something kind of when Mitta said he was handsome... despite his looking like a blood hoof. And Mitta may like him now, but yeah, that just wouldn't seem right.
And no, no zombie marehoods. We had enough of that when Three Leaf and Gladstone were getting it on.
Good grief, they handled situation so well.
With intense bias, disrespect and inability to act like the adult ponies they are.
I am disappointed in you all.
So it seems Konrad is in a new world.
Either that, or his homestead. Regardless of his location, it makes no sense.
Oh, and what about Ruby and her mother?
Awaiting further releases.
Hmm, they have his guns, and I imagine that when Luna hears about this, she will not be pleased.
that's it Celestia keep digging yourself deeper, you are just going to hear it worse from your sister when she finds out what stupid shit you have been doing.
Celestias fucked luna rage mode and unforgiving applebloom mode activate!
3148367I had the same thing happen to me.
"
"Hmmm go to sleep now and get to class on time, or stay up and read the epicness.....
"Totally worth it!!!
dont you think that appel jack should know when peapol are lying or not
Well, he almost said he loved Ruby...so... Yay! Go team Ruby!
3148545 Yeah, I guess so, but now you'll have to push a chapter through even faster so my lingering doubts can be put to rest!
Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one - but some just smell worse than others.
Now he will never get his weapons back
why! Thats ok, you'll change your mind later when i'm done with you
But I must aquire more evidance that he chose ruby. Very well then, go on write more
3151056 You actually had a mass effect 3 ending
narwhaler.com/original/js/t/i-see-what-you-did-there-spiderman-jsTQbp.jpg
YOU %!@#% LEAVING US ON A CLIFFHANGER LIKE THAT
Yup. I ask. And no, I'm not very familiar with Mass Effect. Never played it. Them. Whatever. I will at some point, but have not as of yet.
Question was that a tf2 reference last chapter because I can't get that game out of my head.
Finally got around to read this chapter after procrastinating
So, what in the massive wide world of blue and green earthen geode exploding magmatic semen sizzling FUCK did I just read
It's like M Night Shyamalan just fucking took an idea out of his "Biggest twists cap" and gave it to you to make the biggest of twists
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/117/814/are-you-wizard.jpg
Splendid Chapter, my boy, simply splendid
3149069 It's one of those "I can appreciate and see why she's into you but don't necessarily want to do it with you moments". It's like having a girlfriend whose mom is attractive but you don't want to bang her type things. Do you understand?
And a lot would have to happen for that to be even considered and Konrad taking a plunge into romancing with a pony is already a stretch for him. If he didn't know what MLP was and he had the option of going home right there, neither Ruby nor Luna would have had a chance, no matter how compatible humans and mlp ponies can be. But fortunately for you and everypony else, he is.
3149095 It's Mass effect lore in general but references to ME3 are in it, especially concerning the ending that Konrad complain about so much in the beginning. Now look at the irony.
3149106 H&K?
Overpriced and their ownership is very frowny upon civilian ownership. FN? 
Now you're talking! Soviet Weaponry is awesome, I'll post a photo of Konrad's ( mine ) stuff in pm if you want.
3149133
Do you want to know how I can ruin your day? It does exists....specifically Rule 34 of this story....I'm not lying.
I'm sure you want to know how I know but....yeah it exists.
3149137 I know right? That was part of the plan for so long and I wanted to see the chaos and mindfuck that I knew was going to happen. It will all make sense folks, don't worry. but until then, stay confused. And Ruby and Mitta? You'll see.
3149174 You have no idea how she's going to react....well maybe a little.
3149192 Everypony is certainly going to be red faced and a certain filly won't take it very well
.
3149412 Are you quoting Princess Luna? I think you are.
3149482 Ass, plot...doesn't matter as long as it's close enough to a women, sapient, and hot! It's all good!
3149828 You made the right choice.
3150413 Then check this out, you'll like it.
3150590 3500 words down about 18000 more to go!
*BRAIN BACK ONLINE!*
Anger: “Fucking finally, took long enough…”
Adult: “Shut up. Welcome back, Granite”
Intelligence: “GUISE! I came up with a way to fix the bra-oh you got to be kidding me you motherf-“
3153927
I see then.
3154301 0_0
3153927
Good points. But still, "fucking Story of the Blanks!"
And, uh...
You're joking...
3154301 I'll tell you this, you won't like the ending. You can however see the reactions of people beating the game. Entertaining, but still.... And as for the r34 of this story, you won't find it. I have the only known pictures. The artist gave them to me. as gift I facepalmed and told him not to post it. He agreed. I still have them but I don't plan on looking at it anytime soon. I
when I saw it. It's probably a bad thing I even mentioned it.
3154450 That's what I did when I found it ( given to me actually ). There are however, worse rule 34 mlp out there. I wish I had brain bleach since r34 destroyed everything I love.
3154966 Read the comment above.
3156607
I probably shouldn't ask what they were about then...
Could you say anyway?
3156640 It involves Konrad......
3157036
...Does it involve any blanks?
Or Ruby or Luna?
3157134 it involves Konrad and a mare....that's all I'm saying.
3157157
...'Nuff said.
But anyway, Can't wait (again!) to see Konrad's decision. But whatever happened to Luna and Apple Bloom? We haven't seen them in a while.