HUMAN ZOMBIE KILLER!
Lyra Heartstrings was dreaming that her wonderful man was currently fighting mutants somewhere in a forest. She was trapped in a hut somewhere and she had to get out somehow. Could it be that the man would fail? Could it be that despite his weapons of destruction he would fall short of defeating the monsters? And more importantly would she win the contest?
“N-no….NOOO!!!!” cried Lyra in her sleep.
This couldn’t be happening! He was supposed to make it out! He was supposed to take her away and they would dance at the Grand Galloping Gala while Bon Bon would be jealous and more importantly WRONG about humans. Yes, that’s what would happen she’d be the center of attention with all of her fellow fandom members in awe and jealousy that he chose her over them. And after sharing a wonderful kiss, they would shuffle dance all over the place.
As if the dream couldn’t get any worse, cake appeared in front of her. It was so delicious except when she went to get some for her human, it turned out be a lie!
“C-cake…it’s not REAL?! NOOO!!!” shouted Lyra in an extremely violent tone.
Then Lyra woke up as she was violently being shaken from her slumber to the sight of a very angry and bloodshot Bon Bon. Her mane was in complete disarray as her mane curls were unkempt and she had severe bags of fatigue under her eyes. Well, she looked not that much different from earlier but the anger in her eyes was of a new intensity, one that she had never seen in her best friend before.
“Heh, I think I might have gotten carried away again. But what they hay it was an awesome dream before it all went to pony heck!”
Lyra’s thoughts were interrupted as one of Bon Bon’s eyes started to twitch severely. It was the same look Twilight Sparkle once had when she went loco and hypnotized the town into going crazy over her fillyhood doll. That was certainly a weird day alright, though, considering she tricked the entire school into thinking she was a filly just so she could sit in on the lessons of humanity, she had no right to criticize.
“Okay Bon Bon, we’ve been friends for a long time, but you’re really starting to creep me out.”
“Uh…you okay Bon Bon?”
“SLEEP!!!! I NEED IT! YOU’RE RUINING IT!” shouted Bon Bon.
Lyra backed up against the head of her bed at the creepy display her longtime friend was giving off. It almost seemed that she was going to turn into a mad mare right there do Celestia know what!
“WOAH! Okay, Bon Bon really needs to get some sleep meds from Doctor Stable or something.”
Then Bon Bon’s face slowly turned into a creepy smile and that was just all sorts of wring for Lyra.
“Okay buddy of mine…I’m uh…sorry I had a nightmare and-“
“OH THAT’S OKAY! We ALL have nightmares that just happen from time to time.”
Bon Bon’s voice, as well as her sanity, was severely straining making the situation even more creepy.
“Oh please don’t kill me! That’s just a creepy and bad way to go! I have yet to meet my human!”
“Please Bon Bon…don’t hurt me! I’m really sorry for waking you up.” said Lyra in a pleading tone.
Bon Bon’s expression dropped from her crazed demeanor and began to frown seeing the genuine fear on her friend’s face. Bon Bon immediately hugged her best friend and began a flurry of apologizes for scaring Lyra.
“Oh I’m sorry Lyra! I was just so upset for not getting any sleep! I didn’t mean to scare you! Tomorrow is going to be such a stressful say making candy for the fillies and colts and it’s going to be such a big rush for the store! I mean I have to get money for our rent somehow.”
The two friends let go of their embrace and Lyra immediately relaxed knowing that Bon Bon wouldn’t go crazy stabby on her.
“I swear that was one of the worst dreams I have ever had. I’m SO not drinking bad cider ever again. If I do then I could go to jail! Now I know why that stuff is banned by Celestia!”
“Yeah, I can see why this all so stressful for you. I’m going to enter that costume contest Mayor Mare is throwing tomorrow, and man do I have an idea that will win for sure!”
Bon Bon facehoofed and asked in a dreadful tone.
“OH! Let me guess…a-”
Bon Bon didn’t even get a chance to finish as Lyra went in a complete rant of her human costume by showing her a picture of the sketch she drew. She originally was going to draw herself in the sketch but it made sense to draw the human in her dreams instead. Her reasoning was that is because one, it was "more awesome" that way, and two, it was just better to see a human instead of a pony. Rarity wouldn't have a problem visualizing what Lyra wanted and that the human perspective would be helpful in getting what Lyra wanted in a costume.
“Look Bon Bon! It's a HUMAN ZOMBIE KILLER! Aren't humans cool?!"
Bon Bon didn't find her drawing amusing at all but rather annoying as it was nearly being shoved in her face, not to mention that she was tired beyond belief.
“Go to sleep Lyra, your being too loud! And humans and zombies don't exist!“
But Lyra didn't respond as she went into a rant about humans, more specifically the one she dreamed of.
“You see in my dream he had this stick thing that shot fire and whatnot-“
“Lyra…”
“-he also had this carriage that ran on its own made of metal and”
“Okay Lyra, I think you’ve said-“
“-he kicked their plots, took me away, and we lived happily ever-“
“LYRA! STOP!”
The seafoam green mare ceased her “hummie” rant in embarrassment as her ears lowered and her faced went slightly red. She had gotten carried away once more and now she made herself look like a dork as other ponies called her from time to time. What stunk was the fact she herself wasn’t an ugly mare at all but it seemed that her human hobby tended to turn off Stallions a lot. And that was something she didn’t want but then again if they couldn’t accept her for who she was then they weren’t worth her heart.
“Oh man…I’m acting like a dork again and Bon Bon knows it…but humans are so cool!”
“Sorry again…I really like this stuff Bon Bon! Why don’t you give it a try? There’s a lot of books and stories that my fellow fandom members made!”
“Um…yeah about that Lyra.”
“I making a fanfic right now, it’s called-“
“Not interested Lyra.”
Lyra didn’t even get a chance to finish her sentence as Bon Bon killed her attempt to convert her friend to the crowd of hummies. The fandom was so much fun and you got to meet new friends! Why couldn’t she see that?
“Oh darn…well if you ever want too…”
Bon Bon sighed and looked at the floor near the bed, doing her best to not ruin her friends feelings on the subject. The cream colored mare looked back at Lyra and said,
“Look Lyra, I really think you might need to take a break from your hobby. You see-“
Lyra raised her hooves in the air with protest and said,
“But it’s not hurting anypony and-“
“I know Lyra but let me finish.”
“Okay.” said Lyra as she lowered her hooves and went into a pout.
“Look Lyra, when was the last time you played your harp for any events?”
“Um….2 weeks ago?”
“Lyra…”
“Okay…not since Shining Armor and Princess Cadence’s wedding which was a month ago. And don’t get me started on being taken hostage by a changeling! That seriously ruined my day! I mean I wanted to catch the flowers but I didn’t get too! Stupid changelings and their dumb magic!”
“I wasn’t going too, but you see ever since that happened, you haven’t been to any music bookings or birthdays or well…anything you could get paid for your special talent! I mean, you get paid to play music on your family’s Lyre! You loved music so much and you were going all the time! I don’t know if you’ve noticed but you had all of the single stallions looking at you all the time! You could have had any of them if you’d just tried!”
Lyra’s ears perked up at Bon Bon’s claim and she was very much surprised that she had so many stallions checking her out. She always thought herself to be an average looking mare but that apparently was not the case. Was it her fandom THAT much of a turn off?
“But…then why is they don’t-“
“Like your fandom? I’m not going to lie to you Lyra it’s very…dorky, and a real put off. I mean, you barely spend time outside unless it’s to pick up food from the market or to go to the Library to get books on humans. And I’ve noticed when you speak to guys you only talk about humans and men in general. Stallions don’t want to hear about another male species being better than them! It’s a real blow to their ego, I mean how would you like it if a stallion came up to you and told you about how great female humans were?”
“But human females are cool! I’d love to be one and have really long human hair, slender physic and-“
“Lyra! You can have a long mane but you always choose to have it short! Not that that’s wrong but I mean why do you think being a pony is bad or dull?”
“Well…don’t get me wrong I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the way I am but…I mean it’s new and exciting and…”
“Lyra, it’s because of what happened at the wedding wasn’t it?”
Lyra’s face went neutral before she immediately started to hug and cry on her friend’s shoulder.
“WAAAHH!!! I thought I was going *sob* to die that day Bon Bon! I thought *sob* I’d never see anypony again and...”
“Shhhh….It’s okay Lyra, you’re still here and you still got a lot to live for. You just need to get out and see it and not let life pass you by.”
Bon Bon began to caress her friend’s mane and rocked her back and forth as Lyra started to sob less and less. Eventually they broke from the sisterly embrace as Lyra wiped tears from her eyes.
“Thanks Bon Bon…but I’m still not letting go of my hobby anytime soon!”
“No way! Humans are cool…but I guess I am taking it a bit too far.”
“Ugh…okay let’s make a deal. You start to work a little bit more and get outside WITHOUT your human fandom in mind, and I’ll….I’ll….”
Lyra’s ears perked up and a smile slowly crept up. Lyra knew what was coming up next and this was going to be great.
“YESSS?”
“I’ll…read your fanfic and give the human fandom a try.” Replied Bon Bon in a defeated tone.
Lyra got on all four legs and jumped in the air with joy that her friend may very well join the crowd of hummies.
“YEAH! WOOHOO! Bon Bon’s going to become a hummie!” shouted Lyra.
“I didn’t say I was GOING to be Lyra! I said I would give it a try!”
“Heh, nopony gives it a try and walks away without turning a hummie! Oh this is great, we could draw our own OCs! And-“
“OCs? What are those? And stop jumping on the bed like filly!” asked Bon Bon.
Lyra ceased her foal like escapade with an embarrassed smile before getting back underneath her covers.
“Sorry about that. OC means original characters, you know they are-“
“I get it Lyra…Oh sweet Celestia what did I get myself into?”
“The best hobby since Apple Pie!”
“Mmm pie…could go for some tomorrow actually."
“Okay…I’ll TRY Lyra.”
Lyra quickly pony squealed in excitement before Bon Bon finished.
“But you WILL go out and earn some money for our rent, and please try to ease up on the fandom.”
“Ugh…fine Bon Bon, but you’re not going to regret this! And you’re going to love my costume! I already have this dance routine with music and I’m going to win this prize money for sure!”
Bon Bon’s ears perked up as the sound of money, something they needed at the moment.
“Money?”
“Yeah, there’s a 1000 bit prize for best costume! And mine is awesome!”
“Well…I hope you win it Lyra! We really need the money, but remember try to ease up on the fandom. And if a stallion comes up, give him a chance will you?”
“Why are you so invested in you love life Bon Bon? Is there something I should know about?”
“Actually yes, and I’ve been meaning to tell you for quite some time. You see ever since you’ve been staying inside more often…well…you see there’s been gossip among some ponies that we are a couple.”
“Yeah, so what I mean were a couple of best friends living together until one gets married or something whatnot.”
“No Lyra…I mean COUPLE as in…mare and colt.”
Lyra at first didn’t register the sentence due to the nonsense it seemed to her. Then when her mind actually comprehended the meaning that Bon Bon was saying, it made sense and it utterly grossed her out. Lyra recoiled and visibly shuddered while almost giving an expression of vomiting before saying,
“EWWWWW!!!! Gay!”
“Yeah…now you see why I keep bringing stallions up.”
“Well, you think that since I talk about men they wouldn’t think that.”
“Well, some ponies are just plain stupid.”
“I agree…Okay I’ll try to ease up on the fandom but I’m not giving it up anytime soon okay?”
“Fair enough I suppose. Okay, now that we got that settled I’m going to go back to sleep…minus the shouting of humans and stuff. Good Night Lyra.”
Bon Bon got up and walked to the door before Lyra stopped her and said,
“You know wouldn’t it be cool it a real human showed up?”
Bon Bon froze and turned her head slowly back towards Lyra.
“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen Lyra. You’ll be the only human there, but I promise to be there and I will give it a chance. Besides if a human does actually show up, I will say you were right that they exist and that I’m a fat poopy plothead to the human and kiss his hooves.”
“Feet, they have feet…at least that’s what I think they have.”
“Okay, feet. I promise.”
“Pinkie Promise?”
Bon Bon shuddered in fear and Lyra knew why. It a Pinkie Pie promise and that mare could do some many impossible and creepy things that nopony could ever figure out why. Bon Bon stepped into it this time and she knew it.
“Fine, I Pinkie Promise.”
“And…”
“And breaking a promise is a quick way to lose a friend-“
“f-f-f-f-F-F-F-F-OREVER!” cried the voice of Pinkie Pie as if it had echoed from a great distance away.
Bon Bon shrieked in fear before she began to shake. Lyra could only laugh at the sight in front of her. Bon Bon, who was embarrassed, stuck her tongue at Lyra in anger.
“Yeah, well humans showing up are just as likely as Zombies showing up! Mark my words Lyra it’s not gonna happen!”
And with that Bon Bon slammed the door and ran back to her bed room leaving Lyra to fall asleep quickly.
“Oh it’s gonna happen alright…and I’ll be there to see it Bon Bon!”
Lyra then went back to her dreams before getting into an epic battle with the same human male fighting zombie ponies left and right. What a bucking cool dream it was!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Discord was becoming worried about Konrad’s safety for he was captured by the Bloody Hooves. It’s not that he actually cared for the human, it’s just that this new found source of entertainment was just too great to end abruptly. Discord especially liked his plan to poison their flanks with the wonderful Poison Joke plant. The Lord of Chaos remembered leaving that wonderfully cultivated plant in Everfree Forest from a long time ago. It certainly was a wonderful masterpiece that he left in the magically scarred land that was once the epicenter of Pony Civilization.
Even when he wasn’t around he could still take delight in playing a few jokes without actually having to be there and nopony was the wiser. And yet, this human had used his wonderful creation to outwit the boringly dim minded undead ponies. They had no idea what was coming their way.
“Undead or not, no pony or human for that matter is immune to my wonderful plant! I wonder what will occur to those rotten bottoms. Oh I can’t wait to hear what will happen…but Konrad better not die! I have yet to meet him! Speaking of Konrad, who is this Ruby he is thinking of? He better not fall for this ghost mare or whatever Konrad said she was! Oh wait a minute…I can hear something…”
Discord immediately ceased his worries and listened intently for Konrad’s chaotic thoughts. He could still only hear bits and pieces of his mind, but the more chaotic the nature of his mind was, the more he could hear it. Nopony in his entire existence had such an ability to project one thought's towards Discord, not even Princess Celestia herself.
“Or her parents for that matter; why is it that I can hear him but no other individual? It’s like his existence here is one big contradiction…one that I fully intend to have fun with. He is so out of place and so non-pony like! Yes that’s it! He doesn’t make sense!
A pity that I can’t see what’s happening, for I wish to see what real human looks like! Those pictures the ponies created a long time ago were so comical, and they say I looked mismatched! Now what is it that I hear…OH THIS IS JUST TOO GRAND!”
As soon as Discord continued listening, he could hear a mass ranting of swear words that only a true individual of chaos would know. The words he was hearing full of panic, disharmony, and above all chaotic in meaning and nature. Nopony would ever use such a word, at least the ones he knew. Princess Celestia and her parents certainly were namby pamby in nature that their bluster never could do anything to him.
Even Princess Luna’s Canterlot voice was nothing to the words he was hearing. The only thing that Discord found genuinely annoying was the loud voice she used to project towards him. He parents were the same as well.
“Ha! And the only thing they can do is squeak like a dog’s chew toy if I feel like it! Which reminds me…”
The Lord of Chaos snapped in claw and the plushie forms of the former King and Queen of Equestria appeared in his claw and paw. Their faces were still filled with ire towards him, and also that of Konrad.
“Well hello again my little plushies! Did you enjoy your nap? Oh who am I kidding, you never do. Well, allow me to give you a quick update. Your daughter Celestia is currently on her way tearing apart my wonderful forest of chaos searching for this Konrad. And while I am certain that she will no doubt find him eventually, know this…I will get to him eventually and he will become my apprentice.
You’re daughter Luna WILL chose him as her mate and a new rule will soon spread over Equestria, with me behind the scenes. And there’s nothing you can do about it!”
The plushie form of the King Cosmos and Queen Galaxia flared up into flames giving the Lord of Chaos the satisfaction her so desired. A true troller thrived off of grieving individuals and this Konrad certainly was doing a good job of it, even if he didn’t mean to. And that’s what made this human the best candidate for the job, he had the looks, the raw ability, and best of all he could do it without magic. The only thing that was standing in all of this was his obvious affection for ponies.
And that was something Discord would have to change as much as he could possibly do. Had anypony been holding the plushie King and Queen in their hooves, they could have been burnt to a crisp. This didn’t affect Discord however and he soaked in their anger as best as he could.
“Good! Let the hate flow through you! I love how much you have fallen over all these years! I can’t wait to see what you will do when your precious widdle Woona marries this human! Besides, you wouldn’t want your daughter to be unhappy would you?”
The plushie forms of the King and Queen ceased their angry expressions into a very neutral tone. It seemed that they were contemplating the possibility of their daughter marrying outside of her race. Their expressions rapidly changed from that of disgust to genuine curiosity. To their credit, they genuinely seemed to try and conceive of the idea of interspecies romance. During their time, such a thing was unheard of even when the old Equestria had the Griffons as peaceful neighbors after a long period of animosity prior to Discord’s arrival.
Discord was now starting to worry that they would be open to the idea, and if they were, then his immediate form of entertainment would go away. And not to mention a huge tool in his long term plan to convince Konrad to join him would be severely damaged. To his relief their expressions returned to anger once more.
“Phew! I was worried there for a second. Oh Konrad, you are in soo much trouble! And I will be your only hope if I have my way.” thought Discord.
“Well it’s now past your bed time your majesties! I’ll let you know of any developments when I feel like it.”
And in an instant the former King and Queen of Equestria were gone. They were safely tucked away in a part of Discord’s mind where nopony could find them, not even Princess Celestia or Luna herself. The Lord of Chaos returned his attention back to Konrad’s current dilemma and wondered how he would get out it. Discord laughed and continued to enjoy the wonderful duress that Konrad was experiencing.
“Woah! So that’s her MOTHER you’re talking to?! Oh yeah, you’d be a fool if you chose that over Luna, but then again I really don’t care, only chaos. I’m so going to get more of it and…OUCH! THAT HAD TO HURT!”
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is good. but need sleep. hmmm.....
To hell with sleep.
This is the new sleep.
And food.
And education.
And air.
And showers.
And exercise.
But you lose points for not making Lyra X BonBon.
But I forgive you 
I was hoping for more but..... whatever, nice work!
he got kicked in the balls at the end..or something to do with his balls..BALLS IT WAS BALLS SOMETHING HAPPEND THAT INVOLVES BALLS
2337936 Homosexual relationships gross me out dude, and the fact that Lyra and Bon bon have been beaten to death in the shipping dept. is a death sentence for it in my story. I should also tell you that there will be a seperate story about human x bon bon romance that involves a jealous human obsessed Lyra later on.
2337819 I know right.
2338098 So was I, but hey I got serious work that involves evaluation for my career, that's kinda more important that this is at the moment.
2338141 It was something alright, but as to what it was...you'll see. Oh and awkward mom! moment coming from Ruby later on. She won't be happy with what she sees. Oh and Luna and Apple Bloom will be in it too. Expect to find out what the poison joke plant does!
Bon Bon is not going to be happy.
...continuous staying for releases.
Such a teaser chapter! In your human x Bon bon story will it be the same universe or a completely seperate story and different Lyra and Bon Bon ? Man Mitta seems pretty crazy.... What a way to chase the boys away from her daughter by acting psycho....Lol
2338248
Oh well, that's ok
Can't wait for that story either btw 
the idea simply overflows with awesomeness!
2339231 Similar Bon Bon and Lyra, but different universe and guy. And Mitta has been a zombie all these years too. She sees herself as a failure for letting what happened to her daughter, and now that neither Ruby nor Mitta has ever dealt with a potential mate for Ruby, Momma's in defensive mode and only wants the best for hr precious Ruby. Too bad she doesn't realize Ruby really loves him and that he's really the only guy she has a shot with.
2338367 Oh you have no idea.
2339321 I'll get back with you on the oc character stuff and the HumanxBon Bon story will be more simple and shorter, with lots of MLP antics. No dark stuff at all in it.
2338248 Hahaha I know that feel bro, I'm like you doing works like crazy for my career so no problem, I'm happy that you actually updated the story, good work!
I like
2342058 Glad that you do cause it's not over yet!
2340953 Glad to know that your still reading. Going to work on the next chapter tomorrow. I hope you'll like it when it comes out.
2343893 Great! Then I wish you good luck, my friend!
I hope there will be more action in the next chapter.....
The moment I go to a freinds house for the wee also onobile sorry spellingjend this updates mayybe I shoukd get out more oft
en
2345784 Maybe, I haven't written it yet and I'm still deciding how to get the story flowing.
2347713 It happens.
SO MUCH IRONY. ITS KILLING ME. LOL
2357232 You'll see more of it later.
this is the best way to tell a story bud keep it up
2365841 Thank you very much! I hope you'll like the next one!
2337936
I beg to differ. Chocolate M&Ms are a must.