avidreader07
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Wtf? Why doesn't this have more views?! Come on, people! This should hit every kink you have!
interesting
This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!
------ Review ------
Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Note: not reading the final chapter, since it was published after the contest's deadline. This review and score only applies to the first two chapters.
-It's an interesting world you've built here, with lots of possibilities.
-Quite a bit of exposition about vore, which does drag on a bit.
-Seems like their pony forms weren't used very much ... could have been anthro from the start and been fine.
-The ending does feel pretty rushed. Probably would have been better to cut some of the exposition to free up word count for that instead.
-Twilight swallows down Rarity's cum after eating someone. That's a missed opportunity to mention her meal feeling the added cum, isn't it?
-Overall, a very nice fleshing out of the fetish.
------ Scores ------
To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 70/100
Allure: 85/100
Enticement: 98/100
Immersion: 89/100
Prose Quality: 91/100
Total Score: 433/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.
Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!
10249965
Another surprisingly high score. Especially the enticement. I admit, the pony-form did play more into the Fleur/Strawberry bonus scene. Again, I’m prone to asides, and filling out unnecessary details. The background of the royal greeting, for instance. But it creative enough that I didn’t want to cut it out. And while there’s a lot I would’ve fleshed out, if I’d had more words to work with, I probably wouldn’t have covered the internal cumshot. This was more about the predator’s POV, than the prey’s. I explored that pretty thoroughly in Comforting A Student.
Sorry if this comes across as rambly, or whatever, but I don’t really have anyone else to talk about my writing with.
Congratulations on winning Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
For the full results, check the Dirty Little Award Show.
This story won:
i.imgur.com/wxQxyoZ.png
All Night Long
When you head up to the bedroom, you bring coffee and some snacks ... because this is going to take a while. Your clopfic was the longest by Fimfic's word count!
i.imgur.com/Ifh4wDJ.png
Wallflower
When you go to an orgy, you mostly just kind of stand at the edge and watch. Not because you want to, but because nobody seems to notice you. Your story had the least views at the poll's voting deadline.