• Published 24th Jan 2020
  • 10,200 Views, 497 Comments

Mind Over Matter - Boopy Doopy



I got one wish. So what did my drugged mind come up with? To be a pony in Equestria.

  • ...
37
 497
 10,200

Treated Like A Child

The next thing I knew, I was being shaken awake. I was still a bit sweaty, and my jaw still hurt, but I was relieved by the fact that my itching wasn’t quite as bad as before I’d gone to sleep. I opened my eyes and was greeted by another doctor, a mare that I hadn’t seen before. She was white with a brown mane, and looked younger than Doctor Night. No other doctors ever came to check up on me in the several hours I’d been there, and I hadn't seen anyone else besides him, so I assumed it meant Doctor Night’s shift was over and she’d be in charge now.

“Hey, Leo,” she said sweetly, with a tray of food captured in her magic. “I know you’re sleeping, but it’s time for us to get some food in you.”

I looked around the room, a bit disorientated. “Where did those two go?” I asked. “Who are you? What time is it?”

“I’m Doctor Spark, it’s just after seven, and Herbal Essence and Thundertail had to go home for the night. But they told me to tell you that they promised to be back first thing in the morning. Until then,” she said, quickly setting the tray down, “you need to eat.”

My mind focused on the food. In front of me was a salad that I would have trouble eating myself, oatmeal that I couldn’t possibly eat by myself, and hay. I immediately scowled at it, feeling as though she went out of her way to make sure I needed help feeding myself. “Is there anything else?” I asked with a tone in my voice.

“I'm sorry,” she told me sympathetically. “That’s what they gave me. I'd check, but I don't really know this hospital all that well. I actually usually work in Baltimare."

“She’s lying,” my human mind thought. “She chose this meal. I doubt there are any other ponies in this hospital besides the receptionist.”

"Then what are you doing here?" I asked, slightly suspicious.

"Well, Doctor Night asked me to come here to help take care of you. He actually wanted me to stop by tomorrow, but when I heard about you, I decided to stop by and see you today."

"Okay…," I said, trying to not get worked up. I didn't know why I was getting angry. I completely expected to see a social worker. It might have been the fact that she was here so soon. Then again, my outburst at Doctor Night might have been a contributing factor to her stopping by today. Still, I wasn't the only colt in all of Equestria. There had to be other ponies she could be helping.

"Are you a psychologist?" I asked seriously.

"I am," she answered honestly, "and I do hope to get to know you, but you don't have to worry, because I'm also a trained nurse, so I'll be able to take care of you."

The way she spoke gave me the impression that she was fresh out of training for whatever her official position was. "Well, congratulations," I thought. "You get the most difficult pony possible as your first case."

"For now though, let's get you eating."

"Well, I don't like hay, and I can't use magic…," I said, trying to keep the tone out of my voice as I scratched my face. "Which you had to have known," my human mind thought.

"I did hear that you don't know how to use magic, but I can help feed you if you’d like me to.”

“It’s fine,” I told her, frustrated, sure that she gave me this meal to force me into accepting help. I looked again at the meal in front of me. I wasn't going to embarrass myself eating the salad, and I was not going to be spoon-fed oatmeal like an infant. Which only left hay. I sighed at that. Managing until I learned magic was going to be brutal.

I took a bite and made a face. It tasted just as bad as I imagined it would, like mowed over grass, and made me upset that she put it on my tray.

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

"No," I said as I tried to eat it. I was able to choke about half of the hay down before giving up. It was disgusting and was going to make me vomit if I continued. I pushed the tray forward slightly, and announced, "I'm done."

Doctor Spark frowned at that. "Are you sure?" she questioned. "Asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of. It's what I'm here for."

"Why do you have such an aversion to getting help?" I asked myself. "It's not like you'll even remember this in a few days, and they certainly don't seem to care."

"Because I'm not a child!" my human mind thought.

"You've been acting like a child. You haven't acted like an adult a single day in your life. Just suck it up and accept the help."

"I'm not that hungry anyway," I told her as I scratched at my face again, feeling like my itching was getting worse again.

"Okay," she said, picking up my tray. "Did you need to go to the bathroom?"

That question caught me off guard. "What?" I asked, completely confused. "Why?"

"Well, you said you can't do magic," she told me kindly, "and with your hoof, I thought you might need some help."

The way she said that triggered something in me. It sounded like a lie, sounding as though she was speaking to a toddler. It suddenly dawned on me I was much younger than I initially thought. I was thinking before that I was eight to ten years old, but was realizing now that I was probably actually four or five. The thought made my cheeks burn. They weren’t helping me because I was injured or couldn't do magic, they were helping me because I was a five- year-old.

I clenched my already hurting jaw. I could not stand that guy. I knew he did this on purpose. I felt like he took advantage of my wish, like I was being set up just to be humiliated. I was in Equestria, the place I wanted to be, and I hadn’t been able to enjoy it because I was in an itchy, anxious, five-year-old body. Why was I even here if I couldn’t enjoy being here?

"Leo?" Doctor Spark asked concerned, seeing me getting upset. "Are you okay?"

I hated this, and I hated myself for wishing this, for thinking I could change, for even getting upset in the first place. Why was I getting so worked up over something so ridiculous? I wasn't an angry person. My human body hardly ever got upset. I'd always had a laid back personality, even before my addiction. But now, in the three days I'd been here, all I'd ever felt was upset and angry and anxious and resistant, and I hated it. I hated my lack of emotional control. I hated even more the idea that I was changing into this person, that I was trading in not caring about myself for being angry and upset all the time. The thought that I might be this way forever was overwhelming.

I started to feel tears well up again, and bit my cheek in anger in an effort to stop them, which only produced more tears, making me bite down harder. I knew what I was doing was wrong and would just make my crying worse, but I couldn't help myself. I hated how much crying I’d done over the last three days, and wanted it to stop. Before I knew it though, I was lying on my side sobbing, tasing blood, vaguely aware that I was being hugged by Doctor Spark. Her hugging, while making part of me angrier, made part of me feel a tiny bit better.

“Leo,” she told me softly, “what’s wrong?”

“I hate being here!” I choked out in my squeaky voice. “I hate my life, I hate being a colt, I hate needing help, I hate crying, and I hate this itching!

She hugged me harder, slowly drowning out my anger and tears. "Please don't hurt yourself, Leo," she whispered to me. "When you get upset, you have to tell somepony. You can't hurt yourself."

"I hate that I'm a colt, I hate that I have to be treated like one, and I hate that I'm getting angry and crying because of it," I sniffed through my tears as I started to scratch my face. "I hate that I'm stuck in this stupid colt body, I hate that I have to care about what happens to it, and I hate that I haven't been able to enjoy being here because of this stupid colt body and my stupid mind."

"I'm sorry, Leo," she whispered. "Why do you think you're stupid?"

"Because all I've been doing is crying, getting angry, resisting help, and trying not to screw everything up."

"Why would you think you're going to screw everything up?"

“Because I’m in this five-year-old’s body!”

She went silent for a while, continuing to hug me, thinking of what she should say next. Or maybe she was just letting me cry myself out. Either way, she spoke up several minutes later when I started to calm down more. “I know it’s hard to accept help, but that’s what we’re here for, Leo.” She paused, then asked, “Is it okay if I asked you some personal questions?”

“I guess,” I whispered.

“Can you sit up and face me, please?” she asked politely. I rubbed my eyes and complied with her request. She let me go and leaned onto the bed, putting her hooves on top of mine. “We'll start from the beginning, okay? Do you know how you got here?”

“Hurray. Questions we already answered,” my human mind thought.

“I walked.”

“Do you know how long you walked for?”

I sighed. “Two days,” I whispered.

“Do you know from where?”

“No,” I sighed again.

“That’s okay,” she told me kindly. She then stretched out one of my hooves. “Can you tell me how you got hurt?”

“I was bitten.”

“That must have hurt,” she responded. “Do you know what bit you?”

“No, we don’t,” my human mind thought.

“Yes, we do,” I told it, “and we’re going to tell her.”

“No, we’re not. Then, we’ll have to explain about our problems that we have, which isn’t a conversation we want to have.”

“Yes, we are. She already saw us bite our cheek until it bled. I’m fairly confident she knows what bit us.”

“I don’t know,” I told her.

“That’s fine,” she said as she picked up Doctor Night’s clipboard to write something down. She quickly set it back down and placed her hooves on mine again, continuing her questions. “How long have you been itchy?”

“All day,” I said, reflexively scratching.

“Do you know why you’re itchy?”.

My ear involuntarily twitched at that. “No,” I answered, silently cursing this colt body.

“Okay, Leo,” Doctor Spark started, “these next few questions might be tough, but I need you to answer them honestly, even if somepony told you to keep them secret. Okay?” I nodded, and she started again. “Has anypony ever tried to hurt you?”

“No.”

“Has anypony tried to touch you in an uncomfortable way?”

“No,” my pony body answered quickly, getting embarrassed.

“Have you ever taken medicine you don’t need?”

I flinched slightly at that, and hoped she didn’t notice. Why did she have to phrase the question that way?

“No,” I answered, keeping my tone the same.

“Okay,” she said, and picked up the clipboard again to write.

“Goddamn this colt body!” I thought. “Why did she have to phrase it like that?”

“She did that on purpose,” my human mind said. “She lowered your guard until she got to the question she was suspicious of. She knew you would react if she changed the way she asked the question. She is a psychologist after all.”

She put the clipboard back down. “Do you ever feel like you can't do anything right, Leo?”

“Not until very recently,” I thought.

“No.”

“Do you ever feel like hurting yourself, Leo?”

“Technically, no. Both of the times I did were more ‘heat of the moment’ type deals. Unless you count drug use. Then basically every day, all day.”

“Not really,” I told her.

“Do you ever feel like you don't want to be alive?” Doctor Spark asked seriously.

That one caught me by surprise. I didn’t ever think that, in either my human body or colt body. I didn’t ever think that I was giving off those signals. Although, when I thought about it, I could see how someone might come to that conclusion.

“No,” I told her.

"That's good to hear," she said, and picked up the clipboard again. She paused for a second, then continued, “Okay, I think that’s all of the questions I have for now, kiddo,”. She looked back at me and asked, “Was there anything you wanted to tell me?”

“Why couldn’t that genie have just me a stallion?” my human mind thought.

“No,” I answered, as I scratched at my face. Or, at least, I was about to scratch before she grabbed my hoof with her magic. She looked at me seriously.

“Leo,” she started, “I know it’s hard, but you have to try really, really hard not to scratch. You’ve been scratching the same spot over and over, and your coat is starting to rub off.”

“I’m sorry,” I said innocently.

“You don’t need to be sorry, but please, please don’t scratch.” She paused, staring at me for a second, then opened her mouth to continue.

“I don’t want anything for my itching,” I told her before she could ask me.

“Okay, was there anything else I could try and do for you?”

I suddenly felt myself blush, very embarrassed by what I was about to ask. It was another reason for me to hate being in this five-year-old colt body, and the thing that set off this little tangent we went on.

“What is it?” Doctor Spark asked.

“I, um…” I said quietly.

“Don’t you ask her,” my human mind told me. “I don’t care how young and injured we are. We’re not accepting help with that.”

“Yes?”

I blushed harder. “I have to go to the bathroom.”