Whatever Luna was thinking before she walked into Twilight's library, it all went away like the wind when she saw Hans Schultz and five other humans standing at attention in front of her and Celestia. Unlike how she saw Schultz in his dream, she fully saw the pudgy man in his uniform. Looking at the rest of the group, she noticed that two of the humans, one of whom was rather short, both had faces of held up rage. Their faces reminded her of Blueblood's face before he broke out into his competent rant against the noble earlier that day. The other humans in the group still looked quite cautious, especially one wearing a peaked cap with an Eagle and a Shield with stars and stripes on it. This was probably the Colonel Hogan Schultz was talking about in their little dream talk over the night. From one look, it was clear that this Colonel was either mad, suspicious, or both. The suspicion was quite warranted but the anger that seemed to show strain in his face seemed uncalled for. Whatever he was angry about, it looked like it was going to have to wait.
When the formalities were set aside, the questions began with Celestia taking the lead.
"Good Morning to all of you. My name is Celestia, Princess of the Sun and Co-Ruler of Equestria. To my left is my sister Luna, Princess of the Moon and also Co-Ruler of Equestria." With that, Luna nodded silently, still trying to analyze the rest of the men.
"Now, if I may ask, what might be your names?" Celestia asked.
Immediately, the Colonel walked up smoothly, saluted both of the princesses, and began to state his name and rank quite officially.
"Good Morning Princesses, my name is Colonel Robert Hogan, Senior Prisoner of War at Stalag 13 and former CO of the 504th Bombing Group."
"Bombing Group?" Celestia asked puzzled.
"Just extra details, now I think you'd like to meet the boys, would you?" He asked quite swiftly.
"Erm... of course. Please, do so." Celestia reluctantly agreed. Though she could see that her sister was puzzled, Luna knew all too well what game the Colonel was playing. Skipping to the point to draw attention away from a different topic. It was not exactly manipulative, but it was an easy way to get out of something. Most normal ponies who have not experienced this yet would not notice it. Other ponies would simply be naive to it, Celestia included.
One by one, Hogans's men and Schultz were introduced to the Princesses. The two humans she noticed earlier, named Le Beau and Newkirk, seemed to be uncomfortable when the two Alicorn's came up. When Luna passed them, she took a subtle note to see that both men's... hands as they are called... were bound together by rope and held together by Schultz and another human named Carter. Both of them showed a friendly face when the Princesses passed by but then turned serious as soon as Luna and Celestia were passed them. When all was said and done, Luna and Celestia knew all their names. Hogan was their commander, Kinchloe was Hogan's second in command and radio operator, Carter was a demolitions expert, Newkirk was a tailor, and Le Beau was their chef. Like Luna before she got deep into her conversation with Schultz, Celestia was surprised to hear that Schultz was actually the chief of the guards that guarded Hogan and his men at their Prison Camp. But the details regarding that were lost when Twilight asked that they all sit down.
Making their way to the center of the library, all of them sat down in more of a circle and really just began to talk about each other and ask questions. Carter proved to be somewhat similar to Pinkie Pie as he tended to ramble on with his explanations and stories. It was quite amusing though when Hogan, Schultz, and the others just stared at him which told him "Shut up Carter". Hogan however proved to be quite suspicious. Luna noticed that he would ask quite a lot of questions and seemed quite tense. Once again, everypony else did not notice that but Luna. She made a mental note to enter the Colonel's dreams when night fell.
The nicest part of the morning though was when Pinkie Pie brought Schultz some Apple Strudel. When he saw the dessert on the plate, his eyes sparkled with joy as a big smile appeared on his rather chubby looking face. He was a gentlecolt though and courteously thanked Pinkie for the gesture. He even shared it with all the others. Le Beau and Newkirk however glared at each other when the Strudel was passed out. Clearly something happened earlier so Luna decided to ask after they had finished. However, that was not meant to be as the door to Twilight's library crashed open and a certain pony investigator walked in fuming with rage.
*** *** ***
Deja Vu is something that seems to only happen on rare occasions. This was one such occasion. When Hogan turned to see who nearly busted down the door, a brown pony wearing a suit, overcoat, and black fedora, with a jet black mane and an oddly familiar thin mustache firmly walked in with a face of held up rage clearly showing. Immediately, he turned to Hogan and then to the pony nearest to him.
"WHO IS THIS CREATURE?" He yelled at Rainbow Dash. As soon as Hogan heard the voice, he nearly fainted.
Hochstetter... Of all people Hochstetter... he thought. When he looked around, he saw that Schultz had turned pale white while Kinch held his head in the palm of his hand. Carter had already fainted and was being resuscitated by Twilight and Newkirk and Le Beau just stared at each other in shock.
Before this pony Hochstetter could get an answer out Rainbow Dash, Celestia stepped in.
"Major, I did not expect to see you here." She said diplomatically.
"Princess, the Equestrian Investigation Service is always on top of things." He retorted back at her. Now, in the time Hogan was in Equestria, he had some time to learn about a bit of recent history. And seeing how many villains had attacked this nation, he decided to retort back.
"Clearly recent history shows otherwise Major." That set it off.
"WHO IS THIS CREATURE?" The pony Major yelled, his voice louder than before. Now Luna decided to get in.
"MAJOR HOOFSTETTER, KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN OR I WILL HAVE THE ROYAL GUARD REMOVE YOU FROM THE BUILDING!"
She yelled. Well, it was not exactly a yell, but more of a very loud and official voice. But like Hochstetter, Hoofstetter would not let up.
"I will get to the bottom of this! I will surround this town with a ring of iron if I must!" He yelled. Now it was just getting too easy for Hogan.
"Oh, just like you did all those other times?"
Right on queue, Hoofstetter reached his peak.
"BAHHH!" The irate pony major yelled as he stormed out of the door in a fit of rage.
Hogan was too busy snickering when Newkirk spoke up.
"Ey there Colonel? Is it me, or does that ruddy Major seem oddly and scarily familiar?" He asked.
"You know Major Hoofstetter?" Twilight asked.
"Well, we don't know him, but I am pretty sure we know his counterpart in our world." Hogan responded.
When the color returned to Schultz's face, the round Sergeant got up and made sure to look out the window and lock the door before he sat down. Unbeknownst to Hogan, he had no idea that Schultz was absently wishing for his rifle right there with him... loaded.
I enjoyed how you brought in Hoofstetter. I hope Celestia will have him enjoying a very nice reassignment to someplace very far away. Either that or he somehow gets friendship beamed.
How lovely!
"Both" is unnecessary; just "named Le Beau and Newark," otherwise you're saying the chef is named "Le Beau and Newark" and so is the tailor.
"Bound" together; the second "together" is awkward, especially after the first one; a better term might be "still" or even "fast."
"Proved."
"Out" doesn't belong here.
10074325
Yes, I have repeatedly urged the author to get a proofreader. He urgently needs one, but refuses (It's a guy thing)
Schultz in Equestria... The thing I didn't realize was missing in my life.
Ah my favorite character has arrived!
Sadly the one clip from "Happy birthday, dear hogan" was deleted.
Klink, you are succeeding, by yourself, what millions of enemy soldiers are unable to do! BRING THE THIRD REICH TO IT'S KNEES!
10074353
I actually thought I got it all, turns out I am blind.
10074325
Danke
10074393
Lmao
10074455
Oh it's a button! It says US!
10074302
Oh, there will be much more of Hoofstetter in the next chapter...
Much much more....
Evil laughter ensues
10074308
Thank you!
Just a quick note, thank you all for 700+ views! Let's hope that this bad boy reaches 1000+ views!
10074455
My favorite Hochstetter quote
"Every year that man lives takes a century off the Thousand Year Reich!"
(referring to Klink)
Oh this keeps getting good
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IT SAYS......I should have known better than to come here in the first place.
I’d think the pony who led a nation for at least a millennium would be pretty experienced with conversational tricks. Of course, it’s not always the right time to press a curious point.
10076841
Remember, Celestia if anything is the more naive one. We all know how calculating Luna can be.
10074798
Like I said "A guy thing"
Considering the fact that BOTH leaders of their nation are there and his rudeness toward Luna (while still in full view of Celestia), Hoofstetter's behavior would indicate he's got balls of iron!
I mean, just imagine the show's Major Hofstetter showing the same rude attitude toward Adolf Hitler while the Fuhrer was trying to have a friendly chat with Hogan!
I seriously wonder what the Princesses would think of Schultz if they learned about what his country was doing to a certain group of people.
While Hogan's Heroes is humorous, it becomes less funny when you learn so many of its actors were victims of the Nazis, including Holocaust survivors.
10078964
Yeah... It does. But I still admire the show and find it funny. Especially compared to politically correct bullshit that is shown today.