• Published 14th Jan 2020
  • 2,385 Views, 335 Comments

Schultz Knows Nothing - JustAnotherHistoryBuff



What happens if when Hogan, his men, and the lovable Sergeant Schultz, jumped out of the airplane in "Hogan Gives a Birthday Party" and somehow land in Equestria.

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The Mind of Robert Hogan; Part 3

Luna knew what prisons were like. For centuries, she had sentenced countless ponies to be sent to the dungeons of Canterlot. But this... this was a whole new experience for her. There was not much to take in, just simply damp, bare walls. There was a bed, but it was quite bare. The mattress was so thin that it could double up as a blanket, the blanket itself wasn't even a blanket, it was just a large rag. There was not even a pillow in the cell.

Taking in the atmosphere, Luna began to look back at what she had just witnessed. She had witnessed many sides of humanity. Happiness, greed, tragedy, shock, sadness, and war. But now she was about to witness something worse than them all. Torture.

Torture was a word that never went around even the darkest of Equestrian alleys. Even mobsters in Manehattan never stooped down to this level, they maintained their own, twisted sense of honor. But here in this cell, wherever Hogan was... it was as if humanity had lost its... humanity. As much as Luna wanted to get Colonel Hogan out of the cell, she knew she couldn't because it was all a memory. She could stop the memory, but she still needed to learn more about Hogan.

Just as she was about to try and see where she was, Luna heard the faint sounds of polished boots clicking their way towards the cell. When Hogan heard this, he immediately put on his cap and stood up as straight as he could, still attempting to maintain his military discipline. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the door finally swung open and two men dressed in black uniforms with peaked caps walked in, their faces not betraying whatever their true emotions were. When they finally shut the door, Hogan's face let out a faint smile.

"Are you guys room service? If you are, good... I was about to ask for a refund." He said, earning him a punch to the gut.

"Silence you American pig. You are lucky you aren't dead yet." Said the man who punched him.

"Oh, your too kind." Hogan replied, once again earning him a punch the gut.

"Are you ready to speak Colonel Hogan, or would you like the chair again?" The other man said, his accented voice giving a hint of annoyance.

"That's what they said last time. You know, you guys should really work on your methods. If you want, I can take you over to London so you c..." This time, a fist landed straight in Hogan's face, finally causing the Colonel to collapse.

"You know Colonel Hogan, we have our methods." The man who punched Hogan said.

"Yeah yeah, y'know you should really refine them. I know a few guys back is Ohio that could help you out Captain... Bauer was it?" Hogan said, clenching his bleeding nose.

"Bag him up, and take him to the chair Krauss. I am just about ready to take him the Oflag." Bauer whispered into his colleague's ear.

"An Oflag is too good for this fool, if anything lets take him to a Stalag." Krauss said back.

"Oh, and what Stalag would accept an officer?" Bauer asked suspiciously.

Before Krauss could answer, the cell door swung open and a large man wearing a grey overcoat with a scar on in right cheek walked in. His face serious to the point where when both of the Gestapo officers saw him, their faces went pale and they both immediately snapped into attention.

"G-General Burkhalter Sir! We were not expecting you to be here!" Bauer nervously said.

"And I did not expect an allied officer to be held in Gestapo confinement for over 2 months Hauptmann!" Burkhalter replied. His eyes glared at the Captain with a fire gaze to the point where Bauer began to visibly sweat.

"Herr General... this is a Gestapo m-matter. I must pro..." Krauss tried to say before he was cut off by Burkhalter's glare.

"This has been a Gestapo matter for 2 months and no progress has been made! And now I have the International Red Cross breathing down my neck for this officer's whereabouts! If today's interrogation does not end with any information, you will hand over custody of this prisoner to me! Have I made myself clear gentlemen?"

"J-jawohl, Herr General." Both men said in defeat.

"Good, I expect to be notified when this is over." With that, Burkhalter turned around swiftly and walked out of the cell leaving Hogan and the two Gestapo officers alone.

"Heh, you guys need to grow a pair." Hogan said with a smug grin on his bleeding face. Immediately, Krauss grabbed the pistol on his side and whipped it on Hogan's forehead, knocking him out.

Wiping the blood off the Luger's hilt, Krauss holstered it back in his waist clip and together with Bauer, lifted the unconscious Colonel off the ground and carried him down the hall to another room. Luna, against her better judgement, decided to follow them inside the room.

Once inside the two Gestapo officers closed the door and set Hogan's still unconscious body into a chair with leather straps. When they strapped Hogan's arms and legs to the chair, Bauer took a bucket of water from the corner of the room and splashed Hogan's face with it, causing the Colonel to wake up coughing.

"So Colonel Hogan, we get to play this game again. If you want out, tell us about the Norden!" Bauer said while Krauss was preparing some sort of electrical wires in the back room.

"Oh, well I used the Norden back at the Pentagon. One of the best vacuums I have ever used." Hogan dryly said. When that response came, Bauer pushed the chair back and dipped Hogan's head into a bucket of water.

"Shall I start at low power?" Krauss asked.

"No, go to medium... I am tired of his games." Bauer said, rage teeming in his eyes.

With that Krauss took the two wires and dipped them simultaneously into the water causing Hogan to begin to scream in pain. This process was repeated a few times before Hogan was finally removed from the electrical torture bath and back upright in the chair.

"I will ask again Colonel, what do you know about the Norden?" Bauer once again asked.

"The Norden is a great machine. The dustbag is quite durable I must say." Hogan casually replied. It was odd, how he could remain calm and collected while still being tortured. But once again, he was dipped back into the water and the electricity began to surge through the water at a higher power this time.

When Hogan was finally pulled out of the bucket, Krauss looked at his watch.

"Burkhalter comes back in 20 minutes Bauer."

"He can have his prisoner for all I care. But I think the good Colonel deserves a little parting gift, don't you?" Bauer asked his colleague.

"Yes, I think he does." Krauss replied, an even smile forming on his face.

The next 20 minutes were sights Luna could not bare to watch. The finally stopped torturing Hogan with the water and electricity, but now they were beating the man up. They tore off his shirt and began to whip Hogan's back, painful screams coming out of his mouth with each painful whip making contact. By the time Burkhalter arrived, Hogan was in such a bad shape he needed to be carried out in a stretcher. When Hogan was finally loaded onto the ambulance, the dream once again shifted.

***

When the shift finally stabilized, Luna found herself in the ambulance with Colonel Hogan. By now, he looked somewhat stable but the injuries still showed heavily as he laid on the stretcher unconscious. He looked oddly peaceful though, despite everything she had seen him go through.

After about 10 minutes, the ambulance finally slowed to a stock and noises could be heard outside.

"Ah, General Burkhalter, such a pleasure to see you Sir!" A somewhat egotistical voice said from outside.

"Klink, if it is a pleasure for you, why is it not for me." Burkhalter replied.

With that, the voice shut up for a few seconds before another question pipped up.

"Forgive me Here General, but what is the meaning of this ambulance here? There was not supposed to be any new prisoners here."

"Klink, shut up and let me speak."

"Yes Herr General, shutting up."

"Now, inside is a new prisoner, a Colonel to be exact." Burkhalter began to explain.

"An officer? Herr General, why is this man not at an Oflag?"

"These orders came from the Gestapo Klink. I think you know it wise not to disobey Gestapo orders. But moving on. I would've taken him to a hospital but it appears the Gestapo was not very fond of him. He seemed to annoy them quite a lot." Burkhalter casually explained.

"Rest assured Herr General, he will not be a problem here."

"For your sake Klink, that better be the case. Or else there will be a new opening in the Russian Front for you."

"Yes Herr General." The voice said with a somewhat fearful tone.

Finally, the ambulance doors opened and Luna got a look at what she was facing. In front of her stood General Burkhalter with another officer beside him. The officer beside him wore a uniform similar to Schultz, but it looked more official in terms of tank, and it also had a cap similar to Burkhalter's. The human in question though was devoid of hair on the top of his skull and wore a monocle on his left eye. From the way he presented himself, he looked quite bumbling.

"Schultz! Get Sergeant Wilson here at once." The man yelled.

"Jawohl Here Kommandant!" A voice called back. Looking out of the back of the ambulance, Luna saw the figure of Sergeant Schultz dash off somewhere within the compound. Everything was odd to her at first, but then Luna remembered what she was told. This was Stalag 13.

For a prison camp, it looked surprisingly well kept. Other humans dotted around all corner of the camp, each wearing similar uniforms with divulging ranks. When she looked to her right, Luna caught the eye of Kinch, Le Beau, and Newkirk standing outside one of the barracks looking at the ambulance inside their compound. From the looks of it, they were just as puzzled as the man with the monocle was.

After a few minutes of waiting, Schultz came back with someone Luna could only think was the medic stationed at the camp. By now, Hogan was taken out of the ambulance and his stretcher was on the ground. When Schultz finally saw Hogan, he wore a face of shock and disgust at the Colonel's condition. Finally, he motioned for the medic to help pick up the stretcher and take him over to the medical barracks.

When they began to make their way to the infirmary, Luna overheard Schultz and Wilson talking about something and decided to listen in.

"Jesus Christ Schultz, this guy is in pretty bad shape. I am not sure he will even make it." Wilson said with a whisper so they wouldn't be heard.

"Sergeant Wilson, this is the Gestapo's doing. Most likely, he did not talk. The fact that he is alive after whatever they put him through gives him my respect." Schultz said, trying to focus on trying to keep Hogan's head from falling from his grip.

"I didn't know the enemy could respect one another Schultz."

"Sergeant, let this be between you and I. I despise the Gestapo and their methods along with the National Socialists. If I were younger and did not have a family to manage, I would fight them."

"I figured as much Schultz, your different than the others."

"Thank you Sergeant. Now, I think we best find a bed for my newest headache."

"What makes you think that Schultz?" Wilson asked, genuinely curious.

"I know nothing for now, but I just have a feeling." Schultz said. Finally, both of them disappeared into the building they entered.

When all was said and done, Luna stood shocked. She had seen what humanity was like, kindness, happiness, sadness, grief, pain, and respect. With all she had seen slowly flowing back into her mind, she began to slowly breakdown into sobbing on the camp grounds. She laid their for a while before finally stifling off the last tears before she got up to freeze the dream.

As she lit her horn to freeze the dream, she called out to Hogan.

"Colonel Hogan, can you hear me?" She asked. No answer came. She tried to look around only to find Hogan sitting in a chair in full dress uniform, drinking something from a bottle.

"You called?" He asked, his face emotionless.

"Y-yes..." Luna tried to say before she was cut off by Hogan's index finger.

"Before you stumble upon your own words, at least sit down so we can talk... assuming that is why you entered my mind." He ordered, gesturing towards the chair across from him. He was not threatening, but Luna still felt compelled to follow what he said, not wanting to push it. When Luna sat down, Hogan took another swig of his drink before finally starting off his questions.

"So, I assume you have been watching this all night, is this true?" He sternly asked.

"Y-yes, I have Colonel." Luna shakily replied.

"Christ..." Hogan said under his breath, rubbing his head with his forehead before taking another drink.

"You know... That peculiar drink of yours is not real."

"I like to think of it being real in here. And for your information, it is a beer."

"I-I am sorry to..."

"Don't say anything... please..." Hogan said. From the look in his eyes, he was clearly thinking about something unpleasant.

"Please pardon me for asking... are... are you thinking about... about her?" Luna tried to ask. Her question got it's intended effect though as when Hogan heard about "her", his eyes darted up towards Luna.

"Yes... I am thinking about Lisa..." Hogan said softly. For a moment, the dream shifted back to the dance floor for only a few seconds. Once again, the fight between Mike and Hogan played out before them with both Hogan and Luna turning their heads away from the scene. When the dream finally shifted back to Stalag 13, Luna decided to ask the question lingering on her mind.

"Colonel... Did Lisa... Is she still..." Luna's voice trailed off as Hogan looked up to her wearing a face of sorrow.

"To answer your question... she did survive... but from what I know she was or still is paralyzed from the waist down..."

"Have.... Have you seen her yet?" Luna asked.

"I saw her everyday as soon as I was out of the hospital. I tried to stay with her until she woke up, but well... The service calls." He said, looking down at his uniform. "I was eventually transferred out of the Midwest and got shipped over to the East Coast."

"When was the last you saw her?"

"If I remember correctly... It was the summer of '35... Almost a decade ago..." He said, drifting off into his thoughts.

For a while, he did not speak... His face looking down on the ground. His only movements were to take sips out of his beer. Seeing Hogan in such a mood had Luna trying to think of a response. But all she could think of was useless, it was as if the words wouldn't come to her. Before she could get another thought off, Hogan looked up at her slowly. He wasn't crying, but his eyes were bloodshot red.

"I'm guessing she probably wouldn't want to see me to be honest..." He slowly said.

"Wh-why do you think that Colonel?" Luna asked.

"Well, think... Put yourself in her position. Would you want to see the guy who caused you to be paralyzed?" He stated.

"Colonel Hogan, it is not your fault that Mike did that." Luna said trying to help Hogan see her side.

"No, it is my fault... It is my fault that Lisa is probably still in a wheelchair and Mike is probably in some sort of loony bin."

"Then tell me Colonel, why did Lisa leave Mike?"

"Why do y... Fine. She left Mike because the idiot was a drunken bastard and never could pull his own weight or even get a damn job."

"And how did you treat Lisa."

"I treated her like how any woman should be treated, with respect and compassion. But I should've known god damn better than to piss with that jackass." He said, tears beginning to well up in his eyes.

"Colonel Hogan, look at me. It is. It your fault that Mike decided to do what he did. Even if Lisa did blame you, I am sure she would still forgive you considering how you treated her." Luna said with a conciliatory tone in her voice. She thought she had beaten Hogan, but she was wrong.

"You don't understand... Even if she did forgive me, I still live with that guilt. Every day of my life. You probably don't even know what that feels like do you. You never gone through emotional and physical torture like I have. You have the liberty of living in a good world devoid of what is found normally in my world... well... Minus your version of Hochstetter... But still... You wouldn't know." That statement Hogan made lit a fuse he should've been wise not to light.

"Hogan, you know nothing of me. Did Twilight ever tell you in your short history lesson of my own experiences? I will tell you this right now, I tried to take over Equestria, I hurt thousands of my ponies just because of my own jealousy towards my own sister! And for that, I spent 1000 years trapped on a solitary prison on the moon! You think that I know nothing about guilt? You think the world of Equis is devoid of all things tragic in your world? You think that you and I are different? You are entirely wrong. Yes, you went through severe torture in the hands of the black uniformed humans, but you do not know what it is like to spend 1000 years alone, trapped on the moon with nopony to give you company, and then once released, try to rebuild 1000 years of broken relationships with your former subjects. You know NONE OF THAT!" She yelled, even going so far as to use the Royal Canterlot Voice.

Her response got the effect she wanted. Hogan immediately sat down back in his chair, the flames of rage in his eyes slowly dying down. Now, there sat the one wise-crack Colonel Robert Hogan, diminished, and full of regret. For what seemed like an eternity, they did not speak. After a while, the dream once again shifted. This time though, instead of big cities, suburbs, prison camps, or the night sky... All there was were sprawling green plains, and one solitary tree in the middle of it all with Colonel Hogan nowhere in sight. When Luna got up from the table, it immediately disappeared. A slight breeze began to blow as Luna walked up to the tree.

When Luna finally made it to the tree, she found Hogan sitting on it's side, staring off into the endless plains of grass and flowers. For a while, Luna stood there, unsure of what to do or what to say. She knew what Hogan was thinking about though... atonement. It was clear he was trying to think of some clever way to make up for his past mistakes and he needed to be alone. Without looking back, Luna left Hogan's mind and entered the dreamrealm. Before she left the library to continue the night's work, she looked back at Colonel Hogan. As he slept, she could see that there were faint tears running down his eyes, and his face had a neutral expression surprisingly. It was a good start, getting to know the mysterious Colonel, but she still had gone too deep. All Luna could now do was hope that Hogan would still be open to talk with her. Regardless though, she was not going to enter his dreams as long as he was still here.

Author's Note:

I don't really have anything to say... Typing this up was something... Especially the whole Gestapo torture stuff... I won't say much, but maybe a simple coffee can help. And who better to liven things up that Carter.