Gentlehoof
Joined 22nd Aug, 2015 ·
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Today I was thinking about this story and thought of a bit more that could make for an interesting ch 2. In it he takes Blue and Silver to his parents farm to meet his family, including all his sisters. The awkwardness of the introductions would be quite humorous. Perhaps if I had time, I'll get back to it at some point in the future.
Good-looking.
Telling saves time. Showing (i.e. writing dialogue) allows characters to open up not just to each other, but to the readers. It's ultimately up to you, but I think we have some time for Dirtbound to tell his story without the help of a narrator.
While I like the general idea, your execution could certainly use some extra work. We know very little about the characters and they don't interact much. Some descriptions of the house feel a bit excessive. The set-up is a little bizzare: at one point Blue Bonnet invites herself in the shower and almost gets the stallion off, then stops and leaves. Was that supposed to be teasing?
Liked the sweet ending. Again, a little bit of character development at the start would make it mean a lot more.
9841865
Sounds like a great idea! Do it!