"Wallflower!"
...
"W-Wallflower!"
...
...
"...Can you hear me?"
...
"Wallflower!"
...
...What is this?
...
Tired.
...
"No..."
"No..."
"No..."
...
"No..."
...
...
"N-no!"
...
...
...So, so very tired.
...
...
"No!"
...
"Wallflower!
Wallflower!"
...
...
...
...
...
Voices...?
...
...
...No.
...
...
...
Silence.
...
...
...
Stay here.
...
...
...
Rest here.
...
...
...
End here.
...
...
...
...
...
...
Die here.
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...Light.
...
...
...
...
...
Light?
...
...
...
...
...
Light.
Light...!
Light burned her retinas before her eyes even opened. She wanted to scream. It hurt so much.
...How to scream? She didn’t know. She stayed silent.
Her eyes were closed. Why was it so bright? Where was she? Where had she been? Somewhere darker. Darker and darker, shades beyond black.
Smothering. Comfortable. Safe.
Safe. Was she safe? If she was safe, she wouldn’t be hurting, right? She didn’t hurt anymore, though.
Did she acclimate to the pain, or did it disappear?
A sound. A voice. Voices. ...Who’s there?
What are you doing?
What were they saying? She knew the words. She heard them clearly, but the meaning behind the sounds was lost. Was it? She could understand herself. Think, idiot.
Everything was in front of her, but she couldn’t put the pieces together. She had to try, though. She focused intently on the words echoing in the air all around her. She could figure out what they meant, if she could just...
Focus.
“Why isn’t she waking up?”
Wake...?
“I don’t know! T-Twilight said...” Fear.
“What did I say?” Confusion?
Would you shut up?
“N-no, the—sorry, Princess Twilight said if I broke the stone, all the memories taken in the last three days would return...” Sorrow. Resigned fear? Giving up? No, that wasn’t right.
You’re smarter than this.
Another voice. Crackling and loud. “Well it worked for the rest of us!” Anger. Frustration?
“I know, Rainbow Dash! B-but...”
“But what?”
Despair. “I-I... I don’t know! I d-don’t know h-h-how to...”
Wake up.
A softer voice. “Maybe she just needs more time?” Hopeful. Was it? She couldn’t tell. She wasn’t familiar.
Wake up!
Something touched her. Something touched her. A wetness. It tickled, rolling steadily down her face, the first of many in a pitter-patter of invisible rain.
What was that...?
Senses returned, one by one. She was so warm. She was being held. It was comforting. Safe. Safer than the darker-than-darkness? Probably not, but it would have to do for now.
What is it?
“I... I don’t know...”
More wetness. The warmth pressed into her, wrapping around her. Maybe it was safer. If only she knew what it was.
“Wallflower... Please...”
Open your eyes.
She opened her eyes.
Bright. Brighter than bright, the opposite of comfort. She tried to raise her arm to shield herself, only for her limb to respond with a pitiful twitch. She tried again, and it moved a little more. A third time, and finally it lifted.
“Wallflower!”
She knew that word.
Of course.
“O-oh thank Goddess, you’re awake!”
‘Wallflower.’ It was her word. Could she say it?
She took a breath, a long one. She had been breathing this whole time, now that she thought about it. She should’ve thought about it sooner.
“Hhhhnnnnnmmmmmmmmmmm...” So much for words.
“You’re o-okay, Wallflower! You’re okay, I-I’ve got you...!”
Showoff.
May as well try again. Another deep breath. She was getting good at that part.
“Hhhhhnnnmmmmwwwwhhaaa...”
Try again.
She needed to breathe. Breathe again. Breathe deeper. She could do this.
The one holding her was silent, even as more wetness fell from her face.
Does she have a word, too?
“Hhhnnnmmmwwhaall...”
“Yes! Y-yes, Wallflower! You’re Wallflower!” The girl holding her was trembling with joy. Joy...?
Excitement. Happiness? Who knows.
“Girls, she remembers!”
One more breath. This was it.
You’ll fail.
“Wallflowerr...”
Lucky.
The warmth tightened around her again. She couldn’t breathe as well.
So much for being good at that.
“Uhm, Sunset? Ease up, darling.”
She could breathe again. Good. Breathing was good, and she was good at it. Maybe she was good at other things.
Not likely.
If she could breathe, she could use words. Words like ‘Wallflower.’ Other words too, probably. She knew quite a few other words, come to think of it. If she used what words she knew to learn about more words, she could use those meanings to find other meanings. Meanings beyond the words.
Breath. “Whherrre...” Another breath. “...Am I?”
Another breath, but not hers, and not nearly as slow. It was faster. Sharper.
Gasp.
The girl holding her gasped. “Y-you don’t remember...?”
A different voice, stronger. “Maybe it’s coming back to her slowly!”
“Y-yeah, I bet that’s it!” Raspy. Confident, but not really.
You shouldn’t know those words.
“Maybe...”
“Well what do we do in the meantime? We have to get her home, right?”
It was so hard to keep track of who was talking and what they were saying. No one even answered her question.
You shouldn’t know any words.
Maybe she needed to ask it again. A deep breath, deep enough for more than one word. “Where am I?” Pride swelled in her chest.
“H-huh?” Sunset looked down at her. “School, Wallflower. Canterlot High School. Do you know where your home is?”
What did she mean? There was a way to find out. Another breath. “H-home...?”
Sunset just stared at her, more wetness falling from her face. One of the others spoke up instead.
“Does anyone know where she lives?”
You shouldn't even be here.
“I didn’t even know she existed until today...” Sunset sounded guilty, but over what?
“Okay, well... Check her phone, maybe?”
“G-good idea! Is it in her pocket?”
You should be dead.
“I don’t see it...”
“Nothing in her bag, either.”
You wanted to be dead.
“Alright, well we gotta keep her safe ‘til she comes to her senses.”
“She c-can stay at my apartment.” Sadness again. Sadness was easy to recognize. “It’s my fault she’s like this at all...”
“That’s not true, Sunset.” So the sadness was Sunset. Or was Sunset sad? That seemed right.
“Y-you all said it yourselves...”
You can still be dead, if you want to.
“We didn’t remember you, darling.” Guilt again, but better masked. A different flavor of fake confidence. “We do apologize for assuming the worst, but until a few moments ago we had forgotten how wonderful you’ve become.”
“Yeah... Thanks, Rarity.” Bitterness. Not at ‘Rarity,’ though. Maybe it was?
And you do want to.
“I’ll drive y’all over there.”
“Okay.”
Wallflower—she was Wallflower—blinked at the space above her. It expanded every-which-way and was very dark, although it was nothing like the darker-than-darkness. It was colder, shallower, and full of little glittering sparks. The more she stared at it, the more she wanted to know what it was.
“S-Sunset...?”
Sunset was immediately in front of her face. “What is it, Wallflower? Are you okay?”
Of course not.
Combining what she’d learned, Wallflower raised her arm as high as she could, her limb trembling as it reached upwards. After a heavy inhale, she spoke in tandem with her motion. “Whhat’s th-that?”
“Huh?” Sunset looked up. “What do you mean, Wallflower? There’s nothing there.”
“Y-y-yes there is,” Wallflower said. Speaking was getting easier, now. Not quite as easy as breathing, but certainly better than before. “It’s not n-n-nothing.”
You can go back there.
“Wallflower...” Sunset spoke softly—whispered. “I’m gonna take care of you, okay?”
Wallflower thought about it. Sunset was warm. Sunset was still holding her. Sunset wasn’t as comforting as nothing, but she was better than something else.
“...O-okay.”
No, it isn’t.
Woo, what a doozy. Thank goodness, for Wallflower's sake.
Oh, and congrats on getting featured!
<3
Holy shit, that's some straight-up art right there!
Oh, by the way? Congrats on hitting the feature box again.
Okay, the formatting here is really good; the opening itself works really well, but the way the little comments are interspersed throughout the text of the rest just works super well, creating this sense of an inner voice or dialogue that's faded, that's just lingering at the back of the mind. And it goes along great with the Wallflower at the front of her mind, too, the way things are slowly coming back to her and the strange disconnect between her before the memory wipe and the her that's manifesting here. Honestly the characterisation is reminiscent of another fic, and I mean that in a really good way.
Yeah, that formatting and use of shading is art and pushes this from 'I'm interested to see where this goes' into favorites right away.
I am on a Tablet (light is just a touch over dark) and the opening hit me hard. It's 1:30 a.m., which makes the hit even harder. It's kinda like somebody waken up from a coma, or somebody just go through surgery and is waking up, in words.
So, is Wallflower amnesiac now? Or is her self gone? Leaning towards the second one.
This is really good. Like just... woah.
Love the use of formatting. I assume the lack of immediate return is probably due in part to how many memories Wallflower lost, as well as that little voice she still harbors that led to her doing it in the first place.
Damn, very impressive here. Was confused at first (yes, on phone ) but realized quickly what was going on.
Nice work
2 in one day
Came to this story because of the comments and stayed for the material. This was great stuff! I'm not a fan of suicide/self-harm fics at all, but the way you penned this chapter and the previous one was brilliant.
Ooof. That was rough. So, something went wrong with the memory stone, and Wallflower's memories didn't go back. Maybe because she emptied herself completely, there was nothing for the memories to latch onto and use as a anchor to return.
9770236
Art is the best way to describe it.
Using the faint text hinted at the state of Wallflower's psyche.
As much as I like the effect of the faded text, it's a little too faded. I'm not on a mobile device, either. I was still able to read it, but just barely. Even changing the color themes didn't help.
So first off, your really heckin' clever use of formatting blew me away (I'm using my phone). I figured you'd like to know. T'is art, Scampy. Art.
So there are a million questions running through my head right now. Where will she go? Was there something that demanded her constant attention? Will she ever hear herself clearly? Would she hear herself as herself? Wait, is Sunny gonna have to be her mom?
Hoooooooh you've got me hooked. I love the way that Wally (Wallies?) was written. It feels like everything is confusing and maybe overwhelming. You clearly provide what information is present, but also seamlessly define what she actually undertands. It's great.
I also have a soft spot for characters that have to start from nothing (like that wasn't obvious).
In short, 11+1 out of 10, three thumbs up, all hands firmly on deck hell yeah gamer.
those are some pretty hot formatting tricks there
Wallflower is by far the most relatable character. Your fanfics like these make her even more relatable! I would definitely erase my own memories if it makes me a better person than the disgusting spoiled jerk I am
I demand MOAR! Which is to say, I loved it, and if you are to keep writing I will be very pleased. Though I can not actually demand anything of anyone, and now I am rambling to try to explain my bad joke. Hurray anxiety. But like yeah loved this so far. I will say that on dark mode this is particularly hard to read the small dimmed text.
Okay it is hard to read in any form. Maybe try a shade or too more intense next time, just enough that it is easier for us with bad vision, cause trying to read that stuff gives me headaches.
I really enjoy what you've done with Wally's inner voice. It's a pretty great touch.
Beautiful. I love the use of opacity tags as a literary device. I smashed the like button.
You weren't kidding about the use of greyscale. Once I finished the first scene, I thought, "That's a brilliant way to use that little trick. Really illustrates the dissociation she feels upon waking up. Neat..." And then you used it again, and even better. The interspersed comments of what I'm guessing are "the little voice" inside her, borne of anxiety/self-loathing/self-hatred/etc. were... uh, what's an adjective better than "brilliant"? Masterful? Ingenious? I guess I'll go with those, but, in any case, what you did worked. (I'm kinda hoping the other chapters will keep this formatting because it's so damn good.)
I'm glad to see my initial concerns/predictions about Wallflower's mental capacities were a little off. However, her having to relearn how to talk, albeit briefly shows that the magic went beyond just identity, though that could have just been due to the shock/confusion of the situation and the impact of the spell. If I'm wrong, and things other than personal memories were affected, I'm wondering if/how that will come up again. This all leads to interesting questions about what the Memory Stone can erase—and what it can't. Given that Sunset saw nothing when she used her geode, but Wallflower's "little voice" clearly remembers some of her feelings about herself, I'm guessing that either some or all of Wally's memories are gradually going to return... or that there are some things the magic can't touch. On the "for better or for worse" scale of this latter possibility, I'd hedge my bets towards worse.
I like how consistent Sunset is across all of your stories. Without fail, she thrusts the burden of responsibility upon her own shoulders, albeit for slightly different reasons each time, and it always feels true to the character.
Thats some nice use of grayscale. Excellent!