When confronted by Sunset, Wallflower Blush realizes that absolutely nothing she does matters. Rather than lash out at Sunset's friends, she turns the Memory Stone on herself and completely erases her own mind.
When confronted by Sunset, Wallflower Blush realizes that absolutely nothing she does matters. Rather than lash out at Sunset's friends, she turns the Memory Stone on herself and completely erases her own mind.
“How am I supposed to get back at you if nothing I do matters?!” Wallflower screamed, her voice cracking in anguish.
Sunset glanced back at her friends, who were still observing the argument with a slew of confused and apprehensive stares. As much as part of Sunset wanted to yell at Wallflower again, she thought better of it. She only had a few minutes to save her friends’ memories, a goal Wallflower certainly wasn’t making any easier.
“N-nothing... Nothing I do matters...” Wallflower whimpered, trailing off as she backed away. Her cheeks reddened as tears trickled from her soft brown eyes, and she glared at Sunset from within her anguished expression. “It's just like you said years ago—no one would even notice if I-I was gone.”
Sunset sighed, shivering at the bitter taste of her own self-resentment. She knew Wallflower had to have been a victim of her years spent bullying other students. Many of her worst jeers and insults were tailored to be as hurtful as possible to her target, and while Sunset didn't remember saying such a thing, she was far too conscious of her own horrid behavior to doubt Wallflower's words. The sincere pain Sunset saw in Wallflower’s eyes left her as intent at repairing the damage she’d caused as she was with getting her friends back.
“Well I was wrong,” Sunset said. She stepped closer, driven by mounting guilt as much as fear. She looked to the horizon, the fading embers of sunlight only adding to the weight of anxiety, and her priorities shifted back. The third day was almost over, and Sunset needed to get that stone now. “I’ll make it up to you, okay? I promise.”
Wallflower was silent, even as her breaths came quicker. She stared at the ground as her hands clenched and unclenched at her sides, and Sunset recognized the slightest trembling in her knees. Beneath Wallflower’s lengthy bangs of green hair, tears rolled slowly down her face, their trails glinting faintly in the dim glows of dusk.
Sunset bit her lip, her stomach turning at the prospect of antagonizing such a distraught girl even further. When she turned around, she saw her friends still looking on from afar, talking amongst themselves in hushed voices far too quiet for Sunset to hear. She pushed her trepidation to the back of her mind, even as Wallflower’s cries echoed softly in her ears. Sunset took a brief moment to remind herself that she had to do whatever was necessary to get her friends back.
Another glance at the sky only confirmed that she was running out of time. She turned back to Wallflower, who was now whimpering between shallow breaths. Sunset reached her hand out, as if to take hold of Wallflower’s own. “I know what it's like to be lonely, Wallflower. I can helpyou,” she said. “Please, just give me the stone so I can have my friends back, then we can—”
“No!” Wallflower’s sudden scream made Sunset jolt. “Get away from me!”
Wallflower stumbled backwards, her hand reaching into her bag. Sunset’s heart skipped a beat when she saw the smooth gray curve of the memory stone rising from within, firmly in the grasp of Wallflower’s shaky hand.
It was so close. If Sunset could just get a little closer, she could snatch it, and then—
“I said get away!”
Sunset froze on the spot. Wallflower was pointing the memory stone right at her, its cold gaze staring into Sunset’s eyes. The space between them fell into an intense stillness, as if the world itself had stopped breathing.
It was Wallflower who broke the silence. “You don’t want to ‘make it up to me!’” she shouted, her voice cracking. “You just want to undo everything I did! You c-couldn’t care less about me!”
“That’s not true,” Sunset said. She did her best to keep her words calm and measured, even as her heart pounded in her chest. “I want my friends back, yes. And I care about y—”
“Shut up!” Wallflower shut her eyes tightly, her freckled cheeks wet with tears. “J-just shut up! I know you don’t care about me—no one cares about me!”
At that, Sunset winced, the fresh memories of her own years of isolation weighing heavily on her mind. Even with her goal of breaking the memory stone almost in reach, she couldn’t help but feel awful for the now-sobbing girl before her.
Wallflower kept crying, her entire frame shrinking with every broken shudder of her lungs. “No o-one cares about me... Not even m-m-me...” She fell to her knees, clutching the memory stone to her chest like a child would a favorite doll. “Nothing I do matters... I don’t matter...”
Sunset held her breath. This was her chance to end things peacefully. She knelt down before Wallflower, holding her hand out once more. “You matter to me,” she said, smiling.
For a moment, Wallflower stared back in silence, her eyes wide and misty. She looked at the stone, then at Sunset, then at the whispering girls in the distance. She wiped her eyes and let out another shaky exhale. “I-I’m so tired of being alone...”
Sunset inched closer. “I know,” she said, “but you don’t have to be alone anymore.”
“I’m so, s-so tired... All the time...” Wallflower turned the stone over in her hands, staring into its colorless eye.
“I really do want your life to be better, Wallflower,” Sunset said. She watched Wallflower carefully, wary for any flinch that may indicate her lashing out. “Please, let’s help each other, okay? Don’t you want to be included?”
As soon as those words left Sunset’s lips, Wallflower stiffened up, her whimpers fading. She tried to blink away her tears, taking several deep breaths. The sudden shift left Sunset uneasy, and she wavered as she spoke up.
“Wallflower?”
Wallflower's brief composure cracked, and years of loneliness and misery flooded down her tear-stained cheeks. Her lips parted as if to speak, only to be drawn into a thin, silent line.
Then, in an instant, the space between them was filled with a brilliant blue glow. The memory stone’s engravings were illuminated with shining cerulean light, and Sunset recoiled. She stumbled back as all of her thoughts were scrambled by the fresh panic seeping through her veins, and she waited for the coming burst of Equestrian magic to assault her mind. After a few seconds passed without anything happening, Sunset barely opened her eyes, squinting at the scene before her.
Wallflower sat still, the memory stone still in her hands. Her long hair was billowing every-which-way, waving about in the rushing air like so many tangled vines. She stared unblinking into the impossibly bright light radiating from the stone's eye, her face sunken with a renewed, empty despair that made Sunset’s heart ache. The tears on her cheeks shone like sapphires within the blue haze of magical energy, but when she looked up at Sunset, her face did not betray the slightest hint of emotion.
Sunset shielded her eyes from the glow. Behind her, she heard her friends’ voices call out with a cacophony of shouts and screams. Still, the magic did not come, and the trepidation only made Sunset’s pulse beat even harder. It thundered in her ears between her every rapid breath—only to nearly stop when she at last realized what Wallflower was doing.
“Wallflower!” Sunset cried, reaching blindly forward. “You don’t have to do this! I can help you—!”
The only response Sunset received was a second wave of energy knocking her to the ground.
“Wallflower, please!”
Then, just like that, the blue glow vanished, and Sunset tried to get up. For a moment everything was still, but before she could speak, another flash of light left her reeling. When she opened her eyes again, her words died beneath a horrified gasp.
Thousands of ribbons were bursting forth from Wallflower’s forehead, shimmering with every color imaginable. Wallflower’s face twisted with pain as every thought, every memory, every piece of herself she’d ever known was forcibly torn out of her body. Her anguished cries fell into a single agonizing scream that echoed across the parking lot, deafening Sunset to every other sound in the world. The twirling storm of ribbons glowed brightly with magical energy as they swarmed together above Wallflower’s head. Her tortured screams at last died in her throat, leaving behind a breathless gasp.
Then, all her memories converged into a single verdant beam that was sucked into the memory stone, vanishing entirely. As soon as it did, the air fell silent and still once more, as if nothing had happened at all.
“Wallflower!”
Without a word, Wallflower collapsed lifelessly to the ground. The memory stone tumbled from her grasp, clattering across the asphalt before rolling to a stop in front of Sunset. She paid it no mind, instead scrambling to her feet and rushing to Wallflower’s side.
“W-Wallflower! Can you hear me? Wallflower!” Sunset grabbed Wallflower by the shoulders, struggling to flip her body over. The second Sunset saw Wallflower’s face, her breath left her entirely.
The soft brown eyes that had glared at Sunset only moments ago were now half-lidded and glossy. They gazed up at the ever-darkening sky, unseeing and empty. Wallflower’s lips were just barely parted, and impossibly quiet breaths came in and out. Other than the slow, slow rise and fall of her chest, Wallflower was completely motionless, as if she had fallen asleep and only her body’s autonomous functions remained.
“No, no no no n-no no!” Sunset screamed, desperately shaking the totally limp girl in her grasp. “Wallflower! Wallflower!”
Sunset didn’t bother to wipe the tears from her eyes as she clung to Wallflower’s body, cradling her as she cried and cried. She heard the voices of her friends as they ran over, but their words were indecipherable beneath the sound of Sunset’s own sobs. She hugged Wallflower as tightly as she could, as if doing so would somehow impart Sunset’s own liveliness into the empty shell of a girl in her arms.
As her desperation reached a fever pitch, Sunset took hold of Wallflower’s wrist. Maybe there was something left, some part of Wallflower’s soul that Sunset could draw out with the power of her geode. Her eyes flashed white, and she held her breath as she awaited whatever fragments of Wallflower’s mind still existed for her to see.
She saw nothing, not even blackness. There was nothing left to see. Wallflower was gone.
The glow in Sunset’s eyes faded, and a trembling exhale left her as anguish and panic tore her mind into a frenzy. This couldn’t be happening. She wanted to help Wallflower, to right the wrongs she had committed against her, and now she would never have the chance. Sunset had forgotten this girl existed at all, and instead of making up for her past sins, Sunset had instead pushed Wallflower to... To...
Sunset gasped, a hitched sob cracking in her throat. Even if Wallflower’s body remained, her life was entirely over—and it was all Sunset’s fault.
“Sunset! Look at me!”
Her horrified reverie was shattered by a barking voice beside her. Sunset looked up, and through her tears she saw the girls who were once her friends clustered around her and Wallflower. Rainbow Dash was standing closest, her expression a mix of terror and fury.
“I said look at me! Who is she?” Rainbow Dash shouted at her. “Did she do this? Did you do this? Answer me!”
“I-I... I didn’t—”
“Don’t you lie to me, Sunset Shimmer!” Applejack spoke up, her green eyes flaring with anger. “I always knew you were low, but this?” She jabbed a finger at Wallflower, still lying motionless within Sunset’s embrace. “This is sick!"
Rarity glared daggers at her. “Whatever just happened to this poor girl, you will undo it this instant!”
Sunset blinked. She could undo it. In all her panic and horror, she had forgotten about the stone.
She could still save Wallflower. Above her, the last bands of light were vanishing beneath the horizon. She could save all of them.
“The memory stone!” Sunset’s head swiveled, searching the asphalt for the stone. She spotted it just beside Twilight. “Right there! Twilight, right next to you!”
“Huh?” Twilight took a step back. She glanced down, then bent over and gently lifted the memory stone in her hands. “What about it?”
“We need to break it! She used it to erase all her memories, but they're still—all your memories are still in there!” Sunset stammered, her words tumbling over each other as she spoke rapidly. She turned to Applejack, seeing the orange geode around her neck. “Applejack, you have to destroy it!”
Applejack looked back at her, apprehension plain on her face. She gestured to Wallflower’s lifeless body. “And how do I know this ain’t gonna do the same thing to the rest of us?”
Sunset whimpered, her lungs tightening in her chest. “Please...!” More tears filled her eyes. “Look at me, Applejack! Do you r-really think I’m lying about this?”
For a moment, all was silent. Applejack stared at Sunset, her expression entirely unreadable. Sunset clung to Wallflower a little tighter, repeating her silent pleading with every shaky breath.
Finally, Applejack’s eyes hardened. “Give it here, Twilight," she said.
“What?” Twilight stiffened up. “Y-yeah, okay...” She handed the stone to Applejack, who turned her gaze to match its unblinking eye.
“Wait, Applejack!” Rainbow Dash spoke up, her arms raising in protest. "You aren’t seriously... I mean... It’s Sunset Shimmer! Are you really just gonna take her word for it?”
Applejack held the stone in her hand, gripping it tightly. "I am," she said. Without another word, she gritted her teeth and crushed the stone to pieces.
Everything disappeared as blinding light filled Sunset's vision.
Light burned her retinas before her eyes even opened. She wanted to scream. It hurt so much.
...How to scream? She didn’t know. She stayed silent.
Her eyes were closed. Why was it so bright? Where was she? Where had she been? Somewhere darker. Darker and darker, shades beyond black.
Smothering. Comfortable. Safe.
Safe. Was she safe? If she was safe, she wouldn’t be hurting, right? She didn’t hurt anymore, though.
Did she acclimate to the pain, or did it disappear?
A sound. A voice. Voices....Who’s there? What are you doing? What were they saying? She knew the words. She heard them clearly, but the meaning behind the sounds was lost. Was it? She could understand herself. Think, idiot.
Everything was in front of her, but she couldn’t put the pieces together. She had to try, though. She focused intently on the words echoing in the air all around her. She could figure out what they meant, if she could just... Focus. “Why isn’t she waking up?” Wake...? “I don’t know! T-Twilight said...” Fear.
“What did I say?” Confusion? Would you shut up? “N-no, the—sorry, Princess Twilight said if I broke the stone, all the memories taken in the last three days would return...” Sorrow. Resigned fear? Giving up? No, that wasn’t right. You’re smarter than this. Another voice. Crackling and loud. “Well it worked for the rest of us!” Anger. Frustration?
“I know, Rainbow Dash! B-but...”
“But what?”
Despair. “I-I... I don’t know! I d-don’t know h-h-how to...” Wake up. A softer voice. “Maybe she just needs more time?” Hopeful. Was it? She couldn’t tell. She wasn’t familiar. Wake up! Something touched her. Something touched her. A wetness. It tickled, rolling steadily down her face, the first of many in a pitter-patter of invisible rain. What was that...? Senses returned, one by one. She was so warm. She was being held. It was comforting. Safe. Safer than the darker-than-darkness? Probably not, but it would have to do for now. What is it? “I... I don’t know...”
More wetness. The warmth pressed into her, wrapping around her. Maybe it was safer. If only she knew what it was.
“Wallflower... Please...” Open your eyes. She opened her eyes.
Bright. Brighter than bright, the opposite of comfort. She tried to raise her arm to shield herself, only for her limb to respond with a pitiful twitch. She tried again, and it moved a little more. A third time, and finally it lifted.
“Wallflower!”
She knew that word. Of course. “O-oh thank Goddess, you’re awake!”
‘Wallflower.’ It was her word. Could she say it?
She took a breath, a long one. She had been breathing this whole time, now that she thought about it. She should’ve thought about it sooner.
“Hhhhnnnnnmmmmmmmmmmm...” So much for words.
“You’re o-okay, Wallflower! You’re okay, I-I’ve got you...!” Showoff. May as well try again. Another deep breath. She was getting good at that part.
“Hhhhhnnnmmmmwwwwhhaaa...” Try again. She needed to breathe. Breathe again. Breathe deeper. She could do this.
The one holding her was silent, even as more wetness fell from her face. Does she have a word, too? “Hhhnnnmmmwwhaall...”
“Yes! Y-yes, Wallflower! You’re Wallflower!” The girl holding her was trembling with joy. Joy...? Excitement. Happiness? Who knows. “Girls, she remembers!”
One more breath. This was it. You’ll fail. “Wallflowerr...” Lucky. The warmth tightened around her again. She couldn’t breathe as well. So much for being good at that. “Uhm, Sunset? Ease up, darling.”
She could breathe again. Good. Breathing was good, and she was good at it. Maybe she was good at other things. Not likely. If she could breathe, she could use words. Words like ‘Wallflower.’ Other words too, probably. She knew quite a few other words, come to think of it. If she used what words she knew to learn about more words, she could use those meanings to find other meanings. Meanings beyond the words.
Breath. “Whherrre...” Another breath. “...Am I?”
Another breath, but not hers, and not nearly as slow. It was faster. Sharper. Gasp. The girl holding her gasped. “Y-you don’t remember...?”
A different voice, stronger. “Maybe it’s coming back to her slowly!”
“Y-yeah, I bet that’s it!” Raspy. Confident, but not really. You shouldn’t know those words. “Maybe...”
“Well what do we do in the meantime? We have to get her home, right?”
It was so hard to keep track of who was talking and what they were saying. No one even answered her question. You shouldn’t know any words. Maybe she needed to ask it again. A deep breath, deep enough for more than one word. “Where am I?” Pride swelled in her chest.
“H-huh?” Sunset looked down at her. “School, Wallflower. Canterlot High School. Do you know where your home is?”
What did she mean? There was a way to find out. Another breath. “H-home...?”
Sunset just stared at her, more wetness falling from her face. One of the others spoke up instead.
“Does anyone know where she lives?” You shouldn't even be here. “I didn’t even know she existed until today...” Sunset sounded guilty, but over what?
“Okay, well... Check her phone, maybe?”
“G-good idea! Is it in her pocket?” You should be dead. “I don’t see it...”
“Nothing in her bag, either.” You wanted to be dead. “Alright, well we gotta keep her safe ‘til she comes to her senses.”
“She c-can stay at my apartment.” Sadness again. Sadness was easy to recognize. “It’s my fault she’s like this at all...”
“That’s not true, Sunset.” So the sadness was Sunset. Or was Sunset sad? That seemed right.
“Y-you all said it yourselves...” You can still be dead, if you want to. “We didn’t remember you, darling.” Guilt again, but better masked. A different flavor of fake confidence. “We do apologize for assuming the worst, but until a few moments ago we had forgotten how wonderful you’ve become.”
“Yeah... Thanks, Rarity.” Bitterness. Not at ‘Rarity,’ though. Maybe it was? And you do want to. “I’ll drive y’all over there.”
“Okay.”
Wallflower—she was Wallflower—blinked at the space above her. It expanded every-which-way and was very dark, although it was nothing like the darker-than-darkness. It was colder, shallower, and full of little glittering sparks. The more she stared at it, the more she wanted to know what it was.
“S-Sunset...?”
Sunset was immediately in front of her face. “What is it, Wallflower? Are you okay?” Of course not. Combining what she’d learned, Wallflower raised her arm as high as she could, her limb trembling as it reached upwards. After a heavy inhale, she spoke in tandem with her motion. “Whhat’s th-that?”
“Huh?” Sunset looked up. “What do you mean, Wallflower? There’s nothing there.”
“Y-y-yes there is,” Wallflower said. Speaking was getting easier, now. Not quite as easy as breathing, but certainly better than before. “It’s not n-n-nothing.” You can go back there. “Wallflower...” Sunset spoke softly—whispered. “I’m gonna take care of you, okay?”
Wallflower thought about it. Sunset was warm. Sunset was still holding her. Sunset wasn’t as comforting as nothing, but she was better than something else.
Sunset fell back into the stiff cushions of the chair beside her couch. Next to her, Wallflower was lying motionless, staring off into nothing. Her mouth would open and close periodically, her face scrunching up as it did, as if she was preparing to say something only to change her mind at the last second.
With a heavy sigh, Sunset cradled her head in her hands. This was all her fault. She had been the one to plant the seeds of self-destructive thoughts in Wallflower’s mind all those years ago. She had been the one to provoke Wallflower into turning the stone on herself by failing to calm her down. She was the one who couldn’t figure out what to do, leaving Wallflower in whatever state she was in now.
Frowning, Sunset turned her gaze to the floor. Even her friends knew it was her fault. They just wouldn’t admit it because they felt guilty about forgetting her.
Beside her, Wallflower shifted a little. Slowly, slowly, she craned her neck back to look at Sunset. Her soft brown eyes stared upside-down, and try as she might, Sunset couldn’t begin to guess what thoughts were going on behind them.
Wallflower took a deep breath. “S-Sunnset?” Even the single word was drawn-out and slow, almost as if it was too heavy for Wallflower’s tongue to form.
“Everything okay, Wallflower?” Sunset asked. Her facade of calmness pulled at her lips, forcing her mouth into a strained smile.
“Whh-allflower...” A single blink. “Th-that’s me?”
Only a short depth beneath her measured voice, Sunset was shrieking at herself internally. How could she have let this happen? Wallflower had lost everything, but she’d gotten everything back, too. Sunset had watched while every memory that escaped from the shattered memory stone streamed back into Wallflower’s head. So why was she like this? Why hadn’t it been enough?
Sunset suppressed a shiver, a bitter thought lingering on the fringes of her mind. She had made Wallflower hate herself so much—hate living so much—that she tried to erase herself from existence. Then, in Sunset’s continued selfishness, she expected Wallflower to just willingly return to the life she’d tried to end? She had wiped her own mind for a reason. So long as that reason still existed, she would never want to come back.
“S-S-Sunset?” Wallflower’s breathless voice spoke up beside Sunset.
“What is it?”
Wallflower’s face wrinkled, like she had smelled something foul. “Are... Are y-you—” She paused, inhaling once more. “...M-m-mad at me?”
“What?” Sunset sat upright. “Of course not. Why would you think that?”
Wallflower blinked at her. “I-I dhh-on’t... Hee... Hhhah-hmm ahh hahh...” Her words twisted into a dry, broken laugh, and in an instant, Wallflower’s expression flipped into an almost-brazen grin. Her shaky smile only widened the pit in Sunset’s stomach. “I don’t r-r-remember.”
Sunset’s heart skipped several beats. “Well, uhm...” She averted her eyes from Wallflower’s gaze. “What do you remember?”
Several seconds passed in silence. Sunset shifted, biting her lip as she awaited Wallflower’s response with mounting trepidation. When Wallflower did finally speak, her voice was as slurred and shallow as ever.
“It w-was, uhhh, d-dark. Dhhh—” She paused, inhaling softly as she stared at the ceiling. “D-darker th-than dark,” she said. She glanced back at Sunset. “It was n-n-nice.”
“And, uhm...” Sunset kept doing her best to avoid eye contact, even as a mess of concern and anxiousness pulsed in her veins. “Do you remember anything before that?”
“Not me, n-no,” Wallflower said. “S-sorry.” Her face fell into a dull frown that reminded Sunset of the last look Wallflower had given her from within the blue glow of the memory stone.
Doing her absolute best to suppress her own urges to cry, Sunset took a series of long, heavy breaths before responding. “It’s okay,” she said. “I’m not mad at you, I promise.” She lowered her head, sighing. “If anything, I’m mad at myself.”
Wallflower struggled to sit up, only making it about halfway before falling back to the couch. She spoke without missing a beat. “Whhh-why?” she asked.
“Because this is my fault!” Sunset shouted, only to wince with guilt when her sudden outburst made Wallflower flinch. “I-I’m sorry, it’s not... It’s not because of anything you did, Wallflower.”
Wallflower held her gaze, unblinking. Her lips curved down into a bitter frown. “Y-yes it is,” she said.
“Wait, huh?” Sunset sat up straight. “Do you remember what happened with the memory stone? What you did with it?”
Seamlessly, Wallflower shifted back from a frown to a blank stare. “The wh-what?” Her pupils widened, and Sunset could see her entire body tensing up. “The eye.”
“Yes, the stone with the eye!” Sunset said. “Do you remember? You had it and—and you used it on my friends, remember? Then you—”
“Th-then it was dark.” Wallflower interrupted her. “B-bright, then d-d-dark.” She blinked, frowning again. “Darker.”
Sunset held her breath. Somewhere, somewhere in Wallflower’s fragmented mind, her memories still existed—at least her memories of the moments leading up to erasing her mind. Maybe there was some way Sunset could help her piece things back together. Maybe she could still fix this. She could still fix this. It would be simple—easy, even. All she had to do was find some way to put Wallflower’s thoughts back in order, and it would be like nothing ever happened at all. If she did that, maybe it would be enough for Wallflower’s other memories to fall into place as well.
“S-Sunset?”
The curtains of her hopeful reverie were pulled aside. “Oh, uhm... Yeah? What is it?”
Wallflower looked through her. “Wh-where are you...?”
“What?” Sunset shifted in her seat. “What do you mean? I’m right here.”
“N-no you’re not,” Wallflower said. Still, she seemed to gaze past Sunset, facing her but not really looking at her. “I c-c-can’t see you.”
Beads of sweat decorated Sunset’s brow, matting her bangs to her forehead. She positioned herself directly in front of Wallflower. “Wallflower?” She spoke as clearly as she could. “Tell me what you see, okay?”
“Hhnnnnnmmmhhhhh...” Groaning, Wallflower shut her eyes, pushing herself away from the couch cushions. “Stoh-hp it...!”
“W-Wallflower? What’s wrong?” A frenzy of confusion and fear descended on Sunset’s mind. “Tell me what’s wrong, I can h-help you!”
All at once, Wallflower went silent. She knelt on the couch, turning to face the wall behind it. Even at an angle, Sunset could see the depth of her sudden scowl.
“No y-you can’t.”
Before Sunset could even respond, Wallflower reared her head back and smashed it into the wall, her horrid scream echoing in the tiny space of Sunset’s apartment.
“Wallflower!” Sunset shot up, immediately grabbing Wallflower by the waist. “S-stop it! What are you—?”
“Rrrrhhhhhh-aaaagghhh!” Wallflower struggled in Sunset’s grasp, twisting and fighting. Sunset could barely see through Wallflower’s tangled hair, but even still she held on as tight as she could, pulling Wallflower backwards.
“Get away f-from her!” Wallflower thrashed wildly, clawing desperately forward at some invisible threat. Sunset at last managed to get her off the couch, and the two of them tumbled to the floor. Wallflower fell silent the second they hit the ground, and as Sunset scrambled out from beneath her, she saw Wallflower’s face had fallen back into an empty, aimless stare.
“Wallflower, wh-why did you do that?” Sunset couldn’t stop herself from screaming as well. She brushed aside the tangled green hair on Wallflower’s forehead, revealing—to her relief—only a small bruise.
Wallflower didn’t so much as glance Sunset’s way, and when she spoke, it was in the softest of whispers. “Wh-why are y-y-you so mean?”
“Wh-wha... I...” Sunset couldn’t even formulate a thought, let alone a response. She collapsed against bottom of the couch, barely sitting up as she leaned her head back over the cushion. Neither she nor Wallflower spoke, the latter still staring at the ceiling with expressionless, half-lidded eyes. With a heavy sigh, Sunset pulled her legs in, resting her head on her knees.
This wasn’t going to be easy. It wasn’t going to be simple. It might not even be possible. Sunset’s actions had led Wallflower to try to end herself, and there would be no painless way of undoing the damage Sunset had done to her.
Beside her, Wallflower kept gazing away into nothingness, maintaining her blank stare without so much as a twitch. Sunset could only watch her, tears escaping down her cheeks as she finally sank beneath the waves of her guilt.
Even after Sunset fell silent, Wallflower—that was her word—never tried to move. She stayed motionless on the floor, blinking up at all the nothing around her.
Was that what she was seeing right now? Nothing? No, that wasn’t right. Wallflower knew the nothing—it was safe and soft, like a warm shroud on a cold night. Just because she couldn’t see anything didn’t mean she was seeing the same nothing she came from. Where is it? It was nice, that nothing. Was Sunset nice too? It would be easier to tell if Wallflower could find her. She left you. She missed Sunset, almost as much as she missed the nothing. They both made her feel better. When would Sunset come back? Would she ever come back...? Just like everyone else. Of course she would. Sunset was nice. She must be nice, because she was holding Wallflower after she came back from the darker-than-dark place. When will you leave her? Yes, she concluded. Sunset was nice. Idiot. Pain. Will have to try again. Her head hurt. How did that happen again? You failed. She must have hit her head on something, something she couldn’t see. Maybe she hit her head on the nothing—not her nothing, but this nothing all around her right now.
It’s not yours, idiot. Was this really nothing? No, she reminded herself. It wasn’t anything, but it was not nothing. And either way, it really wasn’t safe, not if it hurt her head. What else will it hurt? Her nothing would never do that. There was no pain when she was with her nothing. It’s notyours. Would she ever be able to go back there? She hoped so. But how to find it? Try again. Try again. Wallflower blinked—at least she thought she did. It was impossible to tell. She tried her best to flex her muscles, starting with her fingertips. Despite remembering how to move, she found doing so now to be impossible. It was as if something had disconnected her mind and body. Only the parts that moved, though. She could still feel. She knew because her head still hurt. It hurts.She made it hurt. Sunset said something to Wallflower about a stone. Maybe someone threw a stone at her, and that’s why her head hurt. Don’t listen. Maybe when Wallflower asked Sunset things, Sunset wasn’t telling her the truth. Why would Sunset do that, though? She was nice. Was she nice...?
Was she breathing? If this place wasn’t anything, she wouldn’t be able to breathe. She was breathing. She could feel her lungs expanding and contracting, just as she felt her head hurting. She’ll hurt you. That was good. She needed to breathe. Liar. There was a sound—quiet, like Sunset had been—and Wallflower started breathing faster. She didn’t like it very much, but she couldn’t control it any more than she could control her arms and legs. It isn’t safe here. Her head hurt. She still couldn’t move. She heard the sound again, and it was closer. Was it? Maybe it was just louder. She couldn’t tell, not when there wasn’t anything. But if she heard something, then it was something. Now she knew it was definitely not nothing. God, you are stupid. The sound was louder, like wind rushing in her ears. It had a tone to it, rising and falling and rising again, sometimes shaky and sometimes calm. It would stop for a while, then start again. She’s going to hurt you. Wallflower’s heart pounded in her chest. She couldn’t move. Why couldn’t she move? She focused all her energy on lifting her legs, fueled by a sudden desperation to get away from whatever nothing-not-nothing she was in. Not safe. Not safe.Not safe. Not safe.Not safe. Not safe.Not safe.Not safe. Not safe.Not safe. Not safe...!
Run...! Her limbs stiffened, shuddering. Even though Wallflower couldn’t see, she knew she was in danger. You have to run. Where was Sunset? She wants to hurt you. Sunset was supposed to be nice. She was supposed to keep Wallflower safe. Why did she go away and leave Wallflower with this awful noise? She left you. Maybe she went to the nothing. Wallflower wished she could go away with her. She’ll kill you. Without Sunset, she was scared. Without Sunset, she was all alone. Why would Sunset do that to her? ...Familiar.
Was she always scared? Was she always alone? Maybe Sunset wasn’t nice. You have to get away. If Sunset wasn’t nice, why had she talked to Wallflower at all? It was because of Sunset that she had been so warm when she came back from the nothing. Don’t trust her. Maybe it was Sunset’s fault that Wallflower had to leave the nothing. Maybe Sunset took her from there, stole her away from the darker-than-darkness that made her feel okay. Maybe Sunset wanted it all to herself, so she ripped Wallflower from safety and left her here with this fake nothing that was only cold and scary. She’ll never let you go back. Sunset must have lied about being nice. Sunset must have pulled Wallflower away from the nothing. Sunset must have been the one who made her head hurt. It still hurt, even now. Was it worse than before? She didn’t know.
The noise was louder again. It must be closer. Was it going to hurt her too? Yes. The louder the noise got, the clearer it became. Its muffled whispers took form as they rose in volume and pitch, creating a sound that Wallflower could at last recognize.
“...Wallflower?”
A voice. “How are you feeling? I got some ice for your head.” Her voice. Don’t let her trick you again. She started to see colors. The more Wallflower listened to Sunset’s voice, the more the nothing-not-nothing faded away. Her vision was filled with featureless patches of red and yellow and orange and white. If you do, she’ll kill you. “Can you hear me? Wallflower?” Sunset’s face took shape before her, and another color came to life. Blue eyes stared down at her, warming her very soul. It’s all a lie. “H-hey, can you hear me? Speak if you can hear me,” Sunset said in soft, shaky tones. “Or move, or... Blink...?” Shakier with every word. Was she scared? It sounded like it, but Sunset lied to her before. She lied about being nice. Nice people didn’t lie.
“Wallflower? Say s-something!” Hands on her shoulders. She could feel them, just as she heard and saw Sunset, just as she felt her head hurt. It was all real—it wasn’t a lie.
“O-oh no, oh no no no...” Sunset sounded so scared... Was she really lying? How could she be? Everything else wasn’t a lie.
“W-Wallflower, please, wake up!” Don’t. She blinked, then blinked again. Slowly, she turned her head so that her eyes lined up with Sunset’s blue ones. They were blue. Bright blue.
“Wallflower!” Warmth wrapped around her, holding her tight. “O-oh thank Goddess, I was so worried!”
In that moment, Wallflower felt safe. When Sunset pulled back and she saw those blue eyes again, she felt even safer. Get away from her. Blue was a nice color, so Sunset had to be nice, right? No.
“Are you alright? I-I thought you might be—oh, uhm, what’s your name? Do you still remember? Can you tell me your name?” Sunset spoke so fast. It was hard for Wallflower to keep up. Whose fault was that?
She took a deep breath. It felt good to be in control of her breathing again. “...What?”
“Your name!” Sunset was louder again. Wallflower’s head hurt a little more, but at least she understood the words this time.
“Whh-allflower,” she said. She took a quick breath so she could be sure she’d finish the sentence. “My name i-is Wallflower.” Are you really that stupid? “Yes! Good, okay—sorry, sorry. I just had to be sure.” Sunset wrapped her in warmth again. It was really nice. That meant it must be really safe, too. She wants to kill you. Wallflower struggled with her own muscles, at last breaking free of their lethargy and sitting up. Doing so forced Sunset to let go, which wasn’t what Wallflower wanted. Maybe she should have stayed still. If she had, she would still be warm and safe. Not safe like the darker-than-darkness, but Sunset was the best she had until she could go back. She’ll never let you go back. “I’ve got the bed all set up for you, okay? Here, let me help you up.” Sunset took Wallflower’s hand then moved under her arm. She stood, and Wallflower had to stand alongside her.
“I’ll lead you up the stairs, okay? We can take it slow.” Sunset took a step, and Wallflower did the same. She stumbled a bit, and fear gripped her heart for a moment when she thought she was going to collapse. The fear evaporated when she realized Sunset kept her from falling. Sunset kept her safe. It’s all a lie. They moved up the stairs one slow step at a time. The first few were tricky, and Wallflower almost fell a few more times. Sunset held her up, though. Sunset kept her safe.
They reached the top, and Sunset helped Wallflower reach the bed. “I’ll go get the ice,” Sunset said. “You just lie down, okay? That bruise doesn’t look too bad, but better safe than sorry.”
Wallflower repeated those words over and over in her mind. Better safe than sorry. It was true. Sunset said it, and it was true. It had to be true because Wallflower felt so safe. You’ll be sorry. Her head didn't hurt as much. It hurt even less when she closed her eyes. Maybe closing her eyes was a good idea.
Her breaths were getting a little slower. She took a few quick inhales, just to be sure she was still in control of her lungs. Once she was sure, she let her breathing slow down again. You shouldn't trust her. Wallflower squirmed a little when she felt something touch her forehead. It was cold—very cold—but it made her feel better somehow. When she opened her eyes, she realized why. Sunset had given her the something-cold, so of course it made her feel better. She smiled, and Sunset smiled, and then she closed her eyes again.
Sunset wanted her to feel better. Sunset was nice. Sunset would keep her safe until she could go back. She must know that Wallflower would be safest with the nothing, so she would help her go back.
Idiot.
Idiot.Idiot.
Idiot. Idiot.
You idiot.
She won't help you go back.
She's not stupid like you. She knows what it means. She knows.
