• Published 20th Jul 2019
  • 688 Views, 49 Comments

A Series of Great Ideas (Or Not) - TheGuineaPig45



Shining Armor and Flam wake up in bed together, no memory of how they got there or what they did the previous night. All they know is that Apple Bloom has been kidnapped, and they're the guilty party.

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Chapter Eleven: Shining Armor and Flam Try Not to Die

Sweetie Belle peeked through the broken window again. There were five guards standing by the front door. When their first knock was met with no response, they knocked again.

“This is the Canterlot Royal Guard,” a deep, gruff voice shouted. “Open up!”

Flam was clinging onto Shining Armor’s back, trembling. “What do we do?!” he asked, starting to hyperventilate again. “WHAT DO WE DO?!”

“Maybe if we don’t answer the door,” Scootaloo suggested, “they’ll just go away.”

They knocked one more time.

“There’s several broken windows,” Rarity pointed out. “Even if we don’t let them in, they have probable cause. They’ll just come inside!”

“We can’t let that happen!” Flam panted. “If we get found out, they’re going to arrest us, or send us to Tartarus, or even execute us!”

“Equestria executes ponies?!” Apple Bloom gasped.

“What do you think happened to King Sombra?!” Flam said. “It’s not the ‘Magic of Friendship,’ it’s the ‘Magic of Murder’!”

Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom looked at each other in horror and shock. Rarity levitated the rubber sword and bonked Flam in the head with it.

“Stop scaring the children!” Rarity hissed, shaking her head. “My friends and I are not murderers!”

“Really?” Flam challenged. “That what actually happened to Sombra, huh?!”

Rarity opened her mouth, thought, and then closed it.

The Royal Guards knocked one last time. “If nopony answers this door, we’re coming in!” one of them shouted.

“Everypony, focus!” Shining said. “We have to get out of here, or our lives are over! Scootaloo, this is your house! Is there any way to escape?”

“We have a back door,” Scootaloo replied. “But it’s on the first floor. If the guards come inside, you won’t be able to get to it!”

“Not if somepony answers the door and distracts them!” Apple Bloom exclaimed, clicking her front hooves together. “Shining Armor, while we’re talkin’ to the guards, you’ll only have a couple of seconds to escape! Don’t waste them!”

Shining Armor beamed. “Thank you so much, Apple Bloom.”

“Don’t mention it.” The filly grabbed the other Crusaders by their hooves, and led them down the stairs. “Let’s go!”

Shining, Flam, and Rarity watched as the girls vanished from their view, and waited for their cue.

“Wait, you’re sticking with us?” Flam whispered to Rarity, confused. “Why?”

“Obviously,” Rarity scoffed, “somepony has to keep you from sitting on thumbtacks and slipping on banana peels.” She grinned at him.

“That is so hot,” Flam murmured to himself.

The Unicorn Squad intently listened downstairs, waiting for the door to open and the Crusaders to speak. After about thirty seconds of silence, they heard the creaking sound of a door hinge.

Now!”

The three ran down the stairs as quickly and quietly as they could. However, in his rush, Shining Armor didn't look where he was stepping and accidentally slipped on a spare marble, sending him tumbling down the steps, right onto the thumbtacks.

It took the strength of every muscle in his body to not scream.

“I heard a noise,” a Royal Guard said in the distance.

“Oh, yeah,” Scootaloo improvised. “My pet chinchilla is very clumsy.”

Rarity and Flam silently helped the prince onto his feet. One of the thumbtacks had lodged itself on Shining’s flank, but there was no time to remove it. The prince cringed from the pain, but kept going, successfully following his team out through the backdoor.

“We made it!” Flam exclaimed, feeling the sunlight on his face. He let out a deep sigh. “That was absolutely insane! How did we do that?!”

“It’s not over yet,” Rarity said, walking ahead. “We need to get you hidden someplace safe. Come on!”

The mare began running, and Flam followed to the best of his ability. Shining Armor, however, limped slowly behind them, his pain incapacitating him.

“A little help!” he called out to the ponies ahead of him. They quickly dashed back to him, and Rarity removed the final thumbtack with her magic. Shining Armor fell to the ground, moaning.

“Are you okay, babe?!” Flam asked, hovering over the fallen stallion.

“Don’t call me babe,” Shining groaned. “Ugh… I’m starting to think jumping through a window wasn’t such a great idea. And falling down the stairs certainly didn't help.”

“Yeah, probably not,” Flam sighed. “Looks like you’re out of commission for now.” He looked up at the sky. “Gee, if only we had Discord. I’m sure he could help us out right about now.” He continued looking up, as if waiting for something to happen. “Discord, that’s your cue. Discord? DISCORD!”

“Flam, dear, please stop shouting at the sky,” Rarity said, once again shaking her head. “Did you actually expect Discord to appear just because you shouted his name?”

“Well, I had hoped. Isn’t that what he does for you? Shows up out of nowhere and then solves all your problems?”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “More like causes them,” she muttered to herself. “Listen, Flam, if Fluttershy’s not involved, Discord isn’t either.”

“So you’re saying that we have to kidnap Fluttershy now?”

“Please help me,” Shining Armor moaned from the ground. “I can’t feel my… Actually, I just can’t feel.”

Rarity and Flam helped the prince onto his hooves, and the trio began walking away from Scootaloo’s house. With Shining Armor leaning on the other stallion for support, they couldn’t go very fast, but at least they had lost the Royal Guards for the time being.

They had made about six houses down, when a male stallion in a hat appeared from an alley perpendicular to them. He stared for a moment, then pointed at them with his teeth bared.

YOU.”

“...Us,” Flam replied, waving to them. “Do we know this pony?”

“That’s Braeburn,” Rarity said, taking a step back. “Applejack’s cousin. Is it just me, or does he look upset?”

Braeburn’s nostrils were flaring, and his eyes appeared to turn red. Without warning, he charged at them.

“Uh, yeah, he’s upset!” Shining shouted. “RUN!”

The Unicorn Squad turned around and ran to the best of their ability, though it was difficult with the injured prince. Even at their fastest, Braeburn was still gaining on them.

Flam looked over his shoulder. Two more Apple Family members, Red Delicious and Apple Cinnamon Crisp, had joined Braeburn in the chase.

Rarity screeched to a halt. Apple Fritter and Baked Apples had appeared in the road ahead of them, gunning for the unicorns. To the left was Apple Honey, and to the right was the pony Applejack referred to as “Just Apple.”

“WHAT IS GOING ON?!” Flam cried out, looking around. More Apples were popping up from every direction. “We’re surrounded!”

Braeburn, who was the closest to the group, was dashing with all his strength. He was less than an inch away from Flam, when suddenly…

ZAP!

Flam looked up. He saw the blue sky painted with fluffy clouds, but no Apple Family members. Below him was the ground, but it looked like it was several feet away. All of a sudden, it hit him. He was on top of a building.

“How did we--”

To the right of him was Shining Armor and Rarity. To the left of him was none other than Starlight Glimmer.

“BROTHER!” he exclaimed, giving the purple unicorn a hug. “Oh, I’ve missed you!”

“I missed you, too,” Starlight replied, warming returning the embrace. She then took a good look at the others. “What happened?! You’re covered in glass, confetti, and… is that whipped cream?”

“Long story,” Shining admitted. “Thanks for the teleport-save back there.”

“Of course. Did you find the Cutie Mark Crusaders?”

“We did!” Rarity confirmed. “They were happily willing to forgive Shining and Flam for their forgotten crime…”

“I’m sensing a but,” Starlight worried.

“...but the Princess Celestia was called and, long story short, the Royal Guard wants their heads.”

“Greaaaat.”

“Judging by what just happened, I’m assuming it didn't go much better with the Apples.”

Starlight shook her head. “I got there too late. The barn was filled with more Apples than I could count, and Big Mac was telling all of them about who kidnapped Apple Bloom. There were too many of them to spell, and, long story short, the Apple Family wants their heads.”

“Greaaaat.”

Shining Armor groaned. “First the Royal Guard, and then the Apples. What’s next?”

There he is!”

He jumped. The voice belonged to Rainbow Dash, who, along with a squadron of Wonderbolts, was in the sky, flying towards the Unicorn Squad.

“THE WONDERBOLTS?!” Flam shouted. “What do they have against us?!”

Spitfire dove at Shining Armor, nearly knocking him off the roof. He barely jumped out of the way, and immediately collapsed from the pain from before.

“That was for Twilight!” Spitfire yelled.

Starlight and Rarity gasped. “Shining,” the former asked. “What did you do to Twilight?”

Shining nervously chuckled. “Well, I was too scared to tell her the truth about what happened, so I, um, well…”

“Spit it out!”

“I trapped her in a magic bubble, okay?!”

Starlight facehoofed, Rarity nearly fainted, and Flam just sat there in shock.

“Rainbow Dash found her, so I trapped her too, but I guess they escaped. Long story short, Twilight and the Wonderbolts want our heads.”

“Greaaaat.”

“Well, hey, if all these ponies want our heads,” Flam said, “we must have very good heads.”

“Or very stupid ones,” Starlight snapped. She looked up, and the Wonderbolts were charging at them from above. “We have to move! Come on!”

Starlight levitated Shining Armor, and, with the help of a running start, leapt onto the closest building. Rarity and Flam did the same, and the four began jumping from rooftop to rooftop.

“What do we even do now?!” Flam asked, dodging a swipe from Soarin. “The Apples know the truth, the Royal Guard knows the truth, and the Wonderbolts are supremely annoyed at us! The secret’s out! We’re officially wanted criminals!”

“There’s two options!” Starlight suggested, clearing a six foot gap. “One, you turn yourselves in.”

“No!” Shining cried. “I’m the lovable leader! I can’t lose that!”

“News flash, you already did!” Rarity angrily said.

“Two,” Starlight continued, “we go to Princess Celestia, explain to her what happened, and hope she pardons you and sets the Royal Guard, Wonderbolts, Apple Family, and whoever else knows at this point, right.”

“That sounds like a very big chance to take,” Flam admitted. “I’m not sure if I’m willing to take it.” He looked below him, and saw a sea of Apple Family members. Above him was a wave of Wonderbolts, and what appeared to be Royal Guards joining the mix. “On second thought, I’ll gladly take it.”

“How do we even get to Canterlot?!” Shining asked. “Teleporting from here all the way over there requires an amount of magical power we don’t have!”

“We take the train, duh,” Flam replied.

Rarity’s entire face lit up. “Oh! And we’ll need disguises!”

“Good idea,” Starlight Glimmer agreed. “That’ll keep us from getting chased every three seconds!”

“More like every two seconds,” Flam corrected.

“Starlight, would you please teleport us to my boutique?” Rarity politely asked.

“With pleasure,” the unicorn replied.

The swarm of Royal Guards, Wonderbolts, and Apples watched as the Unicorn Squad vanished into thin air, gone without a trace.

“Search every house, every room if you have to!” a Royal Guard ordered to his squadron. “Find Shining Armor and Flam! NOW!”


From inside Sugarcube Corner, Gallus heard the shouting and looked out the window. He saw waves of ponies rushing around, peeking in every window. Through the mess of noise and hoof stomping, he heard two names: “Shining Armor” and “Flam.”

“Something tells me that wasn’t a social experiment,” he said, backing away from the window.

Suddenly, the Cutie Mark Crusaders burst in through the door.

“Can somepony help us?!” Scootaloo asked, panicked.

Gallus immediately rushed over to them. “What’s wrong?!”

“We need to get to Canterlot,” Sweetie Belle explained. “But we don’t have train fare!”

Gallus nodded his head. “I’ll take you. Come on.”

The griffon and Crusaders left the Sweet Shoppe and started heading for the train station, working their way through the crowd of ponies.

“I hope this works,” Sweetie Belle whispered.