• Published 20th Jul 2019
  • 688 Views, 49 Comments

A Series of Great Ideas (Or Not) - TheGuineaPig45



Shining Armor and Flam wake up in bed together, no memory of how they got there or what they did the previous night. All they know is that Apple Bloom has been kidnapped, and they're the guilty party.

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Chapter Three: Seeking Guidance

“You were supposed to lock the door!” Shining Armor angrily whispered to Flam. “Why didn't you lock the door?!”

“Excuse me?! You were supposed to lock it!” the stallion replied, glaring at the prince. “Why do you blame me for everything?!”

“I don’t like taking responsibility for things that are obviously bad!”

Starlight Glimmer stamped her hoof. “GUYS!” she shouted, levitating the suitcase toward her. “What is going on?! Shining Armor, why are you in Twilight’s castle?” She turned her attention to the other pony in the room. “Who are you?!”

Flam held out his hoof. “Flam of the Flim Flam Brothers. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Starlight rolled her eyes, then opened the suitcase. Her jaw dropped.

“Why is Apple Bloom’s corpse in here?” she quietly asked, unable to look away.

“It’s not a corpse,” Shining Armor corrected, closing the suitcase again. “She’s not dead.”

“Actually,” Flam chimed in, “we never checked her pulse.”

“What did we say about me doing all the talking?”

“Right. Sorry.”

“There’s a perfectly normal explanation for this,” Shining said, going back to Starlight. “We just… don’t know what it is.”

Starlight Glimmer backed away. “You kidnapped Apple Bloom.”

“No.”

“You kidnapped Apple Bloom.”

“No.”

“You kidnapped Apple Bloom.”

“You can stop repeating yourself, I think you’ve got it,” Flam said. “Yes, we kidnapped Apple Bloom.”

Starlight Glimmer blinked, then took off running. “APPLEJACK!

“Crud!” Shining Armor said, dashing after her. At this point, his heart was getting used to beating fast. Flam quickly followed suit, and within seconds, the two unicorns were chasing Starlight Glimmer.

As they passed door after door, Starlight kept calling Applejack’s name over and over again. She wasn’t as fast as either of her chasers, so they were quickly gaining on her, but she had something they didn't. She was an expert at levitating herself.

Right as they passed the library, Starlight began glowing, and she flew outside to one of the castle’s balconies. Shining and Flam, needing to catch their breath, sat down on the ground.

“This is the end,” Flam panted, patting Shining Armor on the back. “There’s no way we can catch her. Applejack is in the castle with us! We’re gonna get exposed!”

“No, no, no,” Shining said, shaking his head. “Leave this to me.” He got back onto his hooves, then began running up the stars. Flam remained on the ground, taking deep breaths.

Shining Armor made it to the top of the stairs, and ran through the first door he found, leading him to the balcony. He was immediately met by Starlight Glimmer who was looking over the edge.

“Where is she…” the mare muttered under her breath.

Shining Armor put one of his hooves on her back, causing her to jump. “Starlight Glimmer,” he said slowly, “please, let me explain.”

Starlight backed away from him. “Applejack is looking for her lost sister, and you have her! What is there to explain?!”

“The fact that we don’t remember doing it!” Shining exclaimed, lowering his head. “This morning, I woke up in a hotel room with that con-pony, and no memories of who he was or how I got there. While we were trying to figure things out, we found Apple Bloom in the closet!”

Starlight looked perplexed. “You don’t remember kidnapping her?”

“I don’t remember anything,” Shining admitted, walking closer to Starlight. Still, she backed away from her. “Flam and I were trying to get our hooves on a memory spell so that we could find out what happened.”

“Why not just return Apple Bloom?” Starlight asked. Her horn was glowing, as if she was poised to attack.

“Because, then she’d rat us out!” Shining Armor said, this time backing away from Starlight. “If word gets out that I kidnapped a filly, I would be exiled from the Crystal Empire! And think about the ramifications of another Equestrian leader turning out to be the bad guy. There’d be an uproar! Equestria would fall into shambles!”

Starlight Glimmer seriously considered this for a moment. Her horn stopped glowing.

“Please,” Shining begged, finally meeting Starlight in the middle of the balcony. “You’re a guidance counselor. Guide me.”

Starlight bit her lip and moaned, then sighed. “You are SO in the wrong, Shining Armor, and, I know you should just return Apple Bloom and serve whatever sentence you’re given,” she said. “But, at the same time, you’re right. That would cause a mass panic, which would help nopony.”

“So… you’ll help us?”

Starlight Glimmer hesitated. “How were you planning on keeping Apple Bloom quiet?”

“We were going to erase her memory,” Shining admitted, a little too nonchalantly.

“Yeah, no,” the mare replied, walking back inside the castle. “That is a horrible plan.”

Shining ran in front of her, blocking her way. “If you’ve got something better, I’m all ears.”

Starlight used her magic to pick him up and put him to her side. “Why not just explain what happened to Apple Bloom? If she knows it’s a misunderstanding, maybe she won’t rat you out.”

“That requires knowing what happened last night.”

Starlight Glimmer groaned, and rubbed her temple. “Alright, fine,” she finally said, looking Shining Armor in the eyes. “I’ll help restore your memories, and then you will figure out how to solve this in a smart, sensible manner.”

Shining Armor’s face lit up. “Oh, thank you so much!” he exclaimed, giving the mare a big hug. She quickly pushed him aside. “I promise, I will fix this.”

“You better. And don’t think that, because I’m helping you, I agree with what you’ve done.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

The two came back down the stairs together, where they found Flam lying on the ground, moaning.

“I thought you said you were good at running,” Shining Armor joked. Flam opened his mouth to respond, but decided he was too tired and just glared.

“Good news, Flam,” Starlight Glimmer said, magically lifting him onto his hooves. “I’m going to restore your memories so you can set everything right.”

“Oh, goody!” Flam gleefully chirped. “Maybe now I’ll know why Shining Armor kissed me.”

Starlight raised an eyebrow, but decided not to question it and continued speaking. “It’s a complicated spell, though, and it requires two ponies that aren’t either of you. We’ll have to find somepony else.” She looked around the hall, then frowned. “Where’s Apple Bloom?”

Flam and Shining looked at each other. Both of their faces turned white. Without a word, they ran back to the bathroom.


“Well, we had a good run,” Flam sighed, shaking his head. “I think I’m going to ask for a chocolate cupcake tower as my final meal.”

Shining Armor and Starlight Glimmer stared at the floor of the bathroom. The suitcase containing Apple Bloom was gone.

“Okay, it’s not over yet,” Shining said, trying to remain calm. “All this means is that somepony found Apple Bloom. She’s still unconscious, so until she wakes up, there’s no way of connecting the kidnapping to us.”

“Except that Applejack and Fluttershy saw me with the suitcase,” Flam said, his eyes bugging out.

“Well, then there’s no way of connecting the kidnapping to me,” Shining corrected.

Flam began anxiously pacing around the room, taking deep breaths. “This is bad. This is very, very BAD. I’m going to Tartarus. Flim and I never even got to say GOODBYE!”

“Calm down,” Starlight interrupted, magically stopping him in his tracks. “As long as Applejack or Fluttershy aren’t the ones who found her, you’re both off the hook. For now.”

“We need to make a list of suspects,” Shining suggested. “Flam said he saw Applejack and Fluttershy earlier, and I found Twilight and Spike in the library. So that’s four creatures who might’ve found the suitcase. We can narrow that down with ease.”

“Except, Rarity’s also leading her students tour of the castle today for her decoration class,” Starlight said. “And that tour started… five minutes ago.”

“Bad, bad, bad,” Flam repeated, rocking himself back and forth on the ground.

“Let’s put restoring our memories on the back burner for now,” Shining Armor decided. “Right now, we HAVE to find whoever has the suitcase. If we can grab it before Apple Bloom wakes up, we’re still in the clear.”

“Except we’re not,” Flam gasped, having a sudden realization. “The crumpled up notes inside have our signatures on them! Even if Apple Bloom is out, those put the blame directly on US!”

“WHAT?! How did you two mess up this badly?!” Starlight Glimmer shouted, putting her face in her hooves. “Look, we need to split up. Flam, go check the tour. Shining, look for Applejack and Fluttershy. I’ll talk to Twilight and Spike. Maybe, if we’re LUCKY, they haven’t opened up the suitcase and found what’s inside yet.”

“And what if they have?” Flam asked, sweat dripping down his forehead.

“Then I wish you the very best of luck.”

With that, Starlight Glimmer ran out of the room, leaving a panicked Flam and a nervous Shining Armor by themselves.