• Published 20th Jul 2019
  • 722 Views, 49 Comments

A Series of Great Ideas (Or Not) - TheGuineaPig45



Shining Armor and Flam wake up in bed together, no memory of how they got there or what they did the previous night. All they know is that Apple Bloom has been kidnapped, and they're the guilty party.

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Chapter Ten: We Need to Talk

Author's Note:

Originally titled, "Spilling the Tea"

Shining Armor looked at the fire escape. The top was very high up off the ground, which was great for getting jumping into the second-floor window of Scootaloo’s house.

It was just horrible if he missed.

“Are you sure you can’t just levitate me to the window?” Shining Armor asked, feeling the lump in his throat get bigger.

“I can't hold you up for that long,” Rarity said, nudging the prince toward the ladder. “I lift fabric for a living, remember? I’ve never lifted anything heavier than a sewing machine.”

Shining whimpered. “But what if I miss the window? What if I fall and die?!” His breathing sped up, until Flam rubbed his back.

“You’ve got this,” he said, winking at the prince. “I mean, after all we’ve been through, a death by falling would be… pretty pathetic.”

“It’s two stories,” Rarity pointed out. “You’ll be fine. Besides, Flam will be right here to catch you, if the worst should happen.”

“I will?!” the con-pony gasped, caught by surprise.

“My Sweetie Belle is very determined,” Rarity continued, physically pushing Shining Armor forward. “It won’t be long before she actually figures out how to send that letter. If you want to save your flanks, you’ve got to hurry!”

Shining Armor glanced at Flam, his eyebrows low and his teeth biting his bottom lip. Flam shot back a similar look, and the prince sighed. With his ears drooped, and every muscle in his body shaking, he began to climb the ladder.

Once he reached the top, he looked across the way. Sure enough, the window was straight ahead of him, roughly five feet away.

All four of his legs were trembling. He looked down, and saw Flam and Rarity waving to him. Even though they were only a floor below him, in Shining’s eyes, they seemed like they were a hundred feet below.

“Come on!” Rarity called up. “Before the Crusaders found out what we’re doing!”

Shining Armor took a deep breath. He looked directly at the window, and shook his body out. After three more seconds of hesitation, his front left hoof left the surface.

Then the front right hoof. The back left hoof. The back right hoof.

And then, he was fully in the air. Nothing touched his body except the wind and the heat.

And then the glass.

He slammed into the window, shattering it. As he flew into the house, shards of glass surrounded in him, seemingly in slow motion. He landed on the floor with a thud, then looked up.

He was in.

From the outside, he could hear Flam and Rarity cheering. Slightly injured from the jump, Shining slowly got up, his body aching, but his mind more invigorated than ever. His mane was a mess of glass and whipped cream, but he didn't care. The Crusaders were close, and he was going to talk to them.

He walked through the halls, looking into every room to see if the fillies were there. After the third try, he opened a door, and there they were. Completely unsuspecting.

Scootaloo, to the left, looking through a toy box for more potential booby traps.

Apple Bloom, to the right, drinking a glass of water.

And Sweetie Belle, in the center, her magical aura surrounding one piece of paper.

Until the paper was gone.

“I DID IT!” Sweetie Belle shrieked, clapping her hooves together. “I sent the letter!”

The other two Crusaders ran over to congratulate her, only to see a very disheveled looking Shining Armor, frozen before them with his mouth gaping open.

All three girls screamed and ran behind Scootaloo’s bed.

“Stay back!” Sweetie Belle shouted. “Leave Apple Bloom alone!”

Scootaloo grabbed a rubber sword from the toy box. “I have a weapon, and I’m not afraid to use it!”

“Girls!” Rarity shouted, appearing behind Shining Armor with Flam. With the Crusaders distracted by Shining Armor, they had finally been able to make it up the stairs. “Get out from behind that bed this instant.”

The fillies looked at each other with hesitation. Scootaloo kept her sword close.

“You’re with the kidnappers,” she said, sheltering the other two behind her. “How can we trust you?”

“Well, you can not trust me all you want,” Rarity replied. She turned to her sibling and pouted. “But, my dear Sweetie Belle? We’re sisters!” As if it were her second nature, she started crying on command.

“I gotta learn how to do that,” Flam murmured to himself.

“Rarity!” Sweetie Belle whined. “Don’t make me choose between my best friends and you!”

The mare kept crying, to the point where Shining Armor and Flam started feeling uncomfortable. For a while, the Crusaders stayed put, watching her sob.

After the longest two minutes, however, Sweetie Belle couldn’t take it anymore. She ran over and gave Rarity a huge hug.

“Awww,” Rarity replied. Her tears had vanished, as if she had never cried in the first place. “I love you, Sweetie Belle.”

“I love you too, Rarity.”

Shining Armor could feel his heart warmed, until Scootaloo’s cold glare stabbed him in the chest. He tapped Rarity on the back. “This is a touching moment, but…”

“Oh, right,” Rarity said, letting her sister go. “Fillies, gentlecolts, join me. There is no need for hostility, as my sister and I just demonstrated. Let’s all have a normal conversation like civilized ponies.”

Begrudgingly, Scootaloo met Shining Armor and Flam in the center of the room. Apple Bloom stayed to the side for a second, then stood behind Scootaloo.

“Perfect,” Rarity said. “Let’s all take a seat and chat. Who wants tea?”


“Wait, so you don’t remember kidnapping Apple Bloom?” Sweetie Belle asked, sipping her overly sugary tea.

“We don’t remember anything that happened last night,” Flam admitted. “Besides Shining Armor kissing me.”

Shining Armor’s face turned red and he covered Flam’s mouth. “That happened this morning.”

“Doesn't make it any better,” Scootaloo scoffed. “What’s Cadance going to think?”

Cadance isn’t going to find out,” Shining Armor growled. “But that’s not even what’s important. What is important is the fact that we woke up this morning, and Apple Bloom was in our closet. We had no idea what was happening. Our plan from the start was to just talk to you and sort this out without any trouble or ”

“Actually,” Flam corrected, taking a big gulp of tea that burned his tongue, “our initial plan was to erase your memory.”

Scootaloo spat out her drink. “Excuse me?!”

“You’re excused,” Flam replied.

“It was a very short-lived plan that was not my idea,” Shining Armor lied. “Look, Apple Bloom, we’re so sorry to have put you through this traumatic experience. We didn't mean you any harm. We can’t remember a thing, and we’re really just looking to set things right.”

“And also save our respective careers,” Flam added. “You know the truth now, so could you maybe not tell anypony what happened?”

Apple Bloom remained silent, and just stared at the stallions. There was a twinkle in both of their eyes, and their smiles seemed genuine. She sighed.

“Okay,” she finally said. “I’ll stay quiet.”

“YES!” Shining Armor and Flam simultaneously exclaimed, jumping up into the air. They started cheering and dancing, obviously knocking over everypony’s tea. After a moment, they smiled and stared into each other’s eyes. Flam went in for a kiss, but Shining Armor anticipated that and turned it into a hug.

But,” Apple Bloom continued, breaking up the hug, “only on one condition.”

“Anything! We’ll get you ANYTHING!” Flam said, clinging onto the other stallion.

“I need to know why you kidnapped me in the first place.”

Shining Armor and Flam nervously looked at each other, then nodded.

“Once Starlight comes back,” Shining Armor replied, “we’ll figure something out.”

“Um, sorry to break up this tender moment,” Sweetie Belle interjected, a tremble in her voice, “but did everypony forget that I just sent a letter to Princess Celestia explaining what happened?”

Just as they had simultaneously risen, Shining Armor and Flam simultaneously fell to the floor.

Tartarus,” Flam moaned, curling himself into a ball. “We’re going to Tartarus.”

“You know, I’m sure she gets a lot of fan mail,” Scootaloo tried to reason. “Maybe she won’t read it.”

All of a sudden, a scroll poofed into existence above Shining’s head, landing in his whipped cream hair.

“Or maybe she will,” Scootaloo nervously chuckled.

Rarity levitated the scroll towards herself and read it aloud.

Dear Crusaders,

I am appalled to hear that one of our own members of the Equestrian royalty would commit such a heinous act. I am sending several of the Royal Guard to Ponyville at once to protect you and arrest the perpetrators. Please, stay inside the house, and do not answer the door unless you hear five quick knocks in a row. I will personally see that Shining Armor and Flam are brought to justice, and that you and the other Apples are given counseling or anything you need to make up for this horrific event.

Please alert me with any more details, should they arise.

Princess Celestia

“THE ROYAL GUARD?!” Shining Armor gasped. “She’s sending the Royal Guard?!”

“Forget Tartarus!” Flam cried, rocking back and forth. “We’re going to die!”

“No, no, no, stop that ridiculous talk!” Rarity said, stomping her hoof down. “Sweetie Belle, quickly write Princess Celestia another letter explaining that this was all a misunderstanding, and that they royal guards can return to Canterlot.”

Sweetie Belle nodded, then ran to get a quill. As she looked for one, she peeked outside the window.

“So, minor issue,” Sweetie Belle said, returning to the group. “The guards are right outside the building.”

Everypony collectively screamed. “WHAT?!”

Downstairs, there was a pounding on the door. Five quick knocks in a row.

They had arrived.