• Published 20th Jul 2019
  • 722 Views, 49 Comments

A Series of Great Ideas (Or Not) - TheGuineaPig45

Shining Armor and Flam wake up in bed together, no memory of how they got there or what they did the previous night. All they know is that Apple Bloom has been kidnapped, and they're the guilty party.

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Chapter Seven: Whoops

Shining Armor sat across from me, his hooves twitching at my slightest movement. He was antsy, sure, but the cause, I was uncertain of. The evidence I had collected was circumstantial, yes, but who would I be if I didn't trust my gut? After all, I was--

“Um, Rarity, are we gonna talk, or are you just going to keep staring at me?”

Shining Armor waved a hoof in front of her face, bringing Rarity out of her silent narrating thoughts.

“Oh, my apologies,” she said, shaking her head. “Let’s talk.” Her horn began to glow, giving the clubhouse a brief, dim blue light. The blue light also flowed around another object, which levitated off the ground and was placed on the table in between the ponies. Rarity pushed it toward Shining Armor.

It was the pink suitcase.

“You seem to have forgotten a crucial part of your social experiment in the castle,” she said, giving the prince a side-eye. “I discovered it on the ground, simply thrown away as if you didn't need it anymore.”

“We don’t,” Shining Armor replied, trying to keep his cool. “The experiment is done. We got all the data we needed for the study.”

The stallion clearly wasn’t going to budge easily, Rarity thought, raising her nose at her suspect. I was going to have to try a different approach.

Shining Armor looked around the dark room. “Are these awkward gaps in our conversation supposed to mean something, or…”

“Have you heard that our sweet, young, innocent Apple Bloom is missing?” Rarity asked, twirling her mane.

Shining winced at the filly’s name. “I had not,” he lied, attempting to make his reaction appear as a sneeze by rubbing his nose.

“After my field trip, I ran into Applejack, and she told me the news,” Rarity continued. She was consciously choosing not to make eye contact with the prince, hoping it would intimidate him enough for a confession. “She was devastated, and frankly, so was I. Apple Bloom is a pony with good friends, strong morals, and a bright future helping ponies understand who they are. Her job helps Equestria and its residents so much. The thought of somepony taking her away is simply, well, unforgivable.”

Shining Armor could feel himself starting to sweat. For a split second, Rarity’s eyes locked onto a single droplet running down his face. Shining quickly wiped it away.

“I agree,” he said, a small tremble in his voice. “Kidnapping is serious. I can hardly imagine what the Apple Family is going through.”

He’s good, Rarity thought. But I’m better. It was time to play my ace.

Shining Armor rolled his eyes, growing more and more agitated by the repeated pauses in the conversation. “RARITY!”

“SHINING ARMOR!” she shouted, matching his tone. “Earlier, you claimed to be working with the Flim Flam Brothers! Is this true?”

“One hundred percent,” Shining Armor said, giving audible sigh of relief. Finally, an answer that wasn’t a lie.

“Interesting,” Rarity replied, slowing nodding her head. “Well, during this so-called ‘social experiment’ of yours, your associate Flam provided a rather intriguing detail about the suitcase your murder weapons were supposedly inside.”

“What, that’s it pink?” Shining Armor chuckled.

Rarity leaned onto the table and bore into his eyes. “That it was big enough to fit a filly.”

Shining Armor’s eyes widened. He couldn’t control it. His jaw dropped for a split second. He closed it as fast as he could, but the damage was done.

I’ve got him.

“If the experiment was about a suspicious product inside a suitcase,” Rarity said, her voice increasing both in volume and speed, “why would he even mention that it could hold a filly?”

“Size comparison?”

“Don’t play dumb with me! Apple Bloom mysteriously goes missing, Flam hints he had a pony in the suitcase, and you’re working alongside him! There’s only one conclusion I can reach, Shining Armor!”

The stallion shut his eyes. It made the blow a little easier to take.

Just a little.

Big Mac kept staring at Starlight Glimmer and Flam without saying a single word. While this wasn’t unusual, it felt more intimidating than the stallion’s usual act.

“So, um, Big Mac,” Starlight began, emerging from the hay. “I’m sure you have questions.”

“Lucky for you, we have answers!” Flam shouted, enthusiastically leaping out of the pile. He thought for a moment, then raised his hoof in the air. “Granny Smith just seems so lonely these days, doesn't she?”

Big Mac and Starlight looked equally taken aback. “Ee-- Nope?” the stallion replied, confused.

“Well, Limelight and I thought she did, so we lined up a couple potential suitors for her,” Flam said. “Because the old deserve love too, you know.”

Big Mac froze, his mouth gaping open. Starlight pulled Flam to the side.

“I am not going along with this,” she tartly whispered to him. “If an actual suitor doesn't show up, our cover is blown!”

“Fear not,” Flam replied. “Hopefully, Shining Armor wasn’t found out by Twilight, and he’ll be arriving here any minute. Since he clearly has an open-relationship with Cadance--”

Starlight put a hoof over his mouth and gagged. “Flam,” she said, slowly and clearly, “while I appreciate your energy, exuberance, and con-ponyship, some of your ideas just aren’t great. And this is one of them.”

“It’s a little half-baked, I agree, but just trust me--”

“You kidnapped Apple Bloom!” Starlight blurted out, stamping her hoof. “How can I trust you?!”

Flam started pouting. “Because we’re temporary siblings, Lowlight!”

“You don’t even know my name!”

“I thought we were bonding!”

“We were,” Starlight admitted. “But I--”

“You kidnapped Apple Bloom…?” Big Mac interrupted, his eyes darting back and forth from Starlight and Flam. They both sighed.

“Whoops,” Starlight said, slowly backing away from Big Mac. “That was my bad. Clearly, both of us aren’t the best at this.”

“That’s why we work great as brothers,” Flam replied. “But we don’t work great as spies.”

“Not in the slightest.”

“Hey, you know what I do when a scam goes bad?” Flam asked.

Starlight shrugged.


Before Big Mac could get out a word, the two were bolting out of Sweet Apple Acres, running as fast as their legs could carry them.

Princess Cadance opened her eyes and yawned.

She had gotten a bit of a late start this morning, but she wasn’t too worried. Sunburst was around to play with Flurry Heart, and there were no royal activities scheduled for the next couple days. If she wanted to, she could simply stay in bed, cuddling with her husband.

Her husband.

Where was her husband?

She couldn’t feel his body heat. She looked to one side, then to the other. He wasn’t in the bed with her! Panicked, she quickly got up and flew around the castle.

He was nowhere to be found.

She began searching every nook and cranny of the castle, hoping to find some explanation for where he went. And as she went into the closet in her bedroom, she found something.

One of her many pink suitcases was missing, and in its place was a note. Cadance eagerly levitated it toward her face, and read as fast as she could.

Suddenly, she dropped the note. She could feel her blood boil. In a rage, she stomped on the piece of several times and growled.

I will find you, Shining Armor, she thought, putting on her crown. You’ve got some explaining to do.