Ch 13. I Need A Drink
We landed in a heap, as if some giant had picked us all up, shook us and our luggage around, and then dropped us on the floor. Rarity, who had been standing the closest to her pile of luggage, was buried the worst. I could hear her muttering something about how uncouth it all was.
And of course the two guard ponies who we had just appeared in front of were in total shock.
“What in Celi...HALT!” Yelled one of them, a spear leveling itself at my face.
“GUARD!” Came a powerful voice from behind our pony pile.
“Princess Luna!” said both guards as the bowed to the Princess who was out of my sight.
“Might I ask how you appeared in my royal bedchambers?” Asked Princess Luna as we struggled to unbury ourselves and each other.
“I’m sorry Princess Luna, I was rushed and I kinda just aimed for Canterlot, and nowhere specific here.” Said Twilight from underneath Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy.
“And how did you get past your brother's spell?” Princess Luna asked.
“I am the one who taught him the spell.” Replied Twilight, “And I also thought I felt Celestia’s magic influencing where we were going to land, but I don’t think that’s the case.”
“Oh, Celestia helped. That explains it entirely.” Said Princess Luna laughing.
It took us several minutes to disentangle ourselves from each other and our luggage, the whole task made much simpler when Twilight simply levitated all of Rarity’s bags up into a stack again.
Once I was free from the pile of tangled pony limbs, I made sure Applejack and Scootaloo were okay before turning to the Princess.
“Sorry ‘bout the intrusion, the townspeople in Ponyville are a bit over-zealous at times.” I said casually, I heard the guards armor clink as they stiffened.
Luna, also noticing, leaned to her right to look around me, “Do you not have something to be doing? Such as helping our guests get their luggage to their rooms?” She said coldly to the guard who had pointed his weapon at me.
“But Princess!” He started to protest only to be silenced by a glare from the Princess.
“I’m perfectly safe with Cass, he is about as harmful as a butterfly on a windy day.” Luna said, leaving no room for argument.
The guards quickly took the luggage out of the room, leaving our little group standing in what appeared to be a lavish bedroom. The room itself suited the princess perfectly, the dark blue of the paint on the wall matching both the drapes and tapestries which had Luna’s cutie mark on them. The room was in perfect order, everything neat and orderly, except for the bed which looked like she had just been sleeping in it when we had appeared and scared her out of her slumber.
That and the fact that she was only wearing three socks.
“Did we interrupt anything?” I asked.
“Whatever do you mean?” She asked in her Royal Canterlot voice, pushing me several inches back.
I just pointed at her socks and the bed, rubbing the ringing noise out of my ears.
She looked at her hooves, and with a blush, and with a little hop, she whipped the socks off her feet and flung them out of the nearby window, where a distant crash resounded.
“Wow Luna, you hit that gardener right in the face with those socks!” said Pinkie Pie who was looking out the window.
“So, umm, should we let you get back to your...nap?” I asked hesitantly.
“No!” She said in her Royal voice, before continuing in a normal voice, “I m-mean n-no, no I'll take you to my sister.” Luna stammered
“Is there something different about you?” She asked, looking at me critically.
“Umm, no?” I responded, leaning back from the Princess as she got real close to my face.
“Why does it look like your soul is mixed with two others?” She said, her eyes glowing faintly.
“Oh, that. I adopted Scootaloo with Applejack. You can see that?” I asked, surprised.
“Of course.” She said, “Anyone with magic can see that.”
“Then what about our mental...thing?” I asked.
“Thats different.” Came her voice directly into my head, she smiled and winked at me.
“Mental thing?” Asked Applejack.
“Nothing.” Both me and Luna said in unison.
“So, ummm, Dad?” Asked Scootaloo, tugging on my plants leg.
“Yeah, Scootaloo?”
“Can we meet Princess Luna?” She asked, puppy dog eyes in full effect.
“Are thou not afraid of meeting me?” Luna asked, surprised.
“Maybe!” Squeaked Sweetie Belle as she disappeared behind Rarity’s forelegs.
“Don’t be afraid child, I am harmless, let us partake in the fun, Huzzah!”
Apple Bloom, who had until a couple seconds ago been hiding behind Applejack's leg peaked out at Luna's offer. “Well what do you do for fun here?”
Sporting a playful grin, she simply answered, "Prank Celestia!"
The look on the three young fillies faces was nothing compared to the look on Rainbow Dash’s face, she looked like she had just found a role model almost the equal of the Wonderbolts.
“How about you girls go help the Princess with her latest prank.” I said mischievously.
With a grin the three young fillies ran off with Luna, Rainbow Dash following close behind, leaving me, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Twilight all laughing knowing that this was not going to end well for a certain sister.
“Wait, how are we supposed to find Celestia now?”
After what felt like forever exploring deeper into the castle looking for the Princess, and not seeing anypony, we decided it was a futile effort to just be wandering around in what appeared to be giant circles. We found ourselves a nice little room full of comfortable armchairs, and while Twilight tried to contact Celestia with her magic, we sat around and relaxed.
“You would think that such a big place would have more ponies working here.” Whispered Fluttershy.
“Yeah you would think so, we ain’t seen anyone since Luna scared her guards off.” Said Applejack lying across my lap, half asleep.
“Have you had any luck dear?” Asked Rarity, who had pulled a hairbrush from somewhere and was brushing the knots out of her tail.
“Yes, she said guards are on their way.” Twilight replied distractedly after a moment, her horn glowing brightly.
“Now, ah got some complaints ‘bout how you’re raisin’ mah kid.” Said Applejack, poking my nose with her hoof.
“What?” I said innocently.
“Do you think it’s a good idea to let them go and prank the Princess?”
“They got Princess Luna with them, she won’t let anything happen to them.” I said confidently.
There was a knock at the door before it swung open, revealing a white unicorn wearing a fancy jacket and had a ring on his horn.
He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Twilight.
“Big Brother!” She said running over to him and giving him a hug. “I didn’t know Celestia was sending you!”
“And I didn’t know you were friends with the human!” He said hugging her back.
Staying seated due to Applejack looking too damn cute to move off my lap. I held out my hand and greet him with a smile.
“Names Sergeant Castle, but call me Cass.”
Taking my hand in his hoof, “My name is Shining Armor, I’m the Captain of the Guard here.”
“Wow, Princess Celestia considers me important enough to send the captain of the guard to come get me and be my tour guide, I’m honored.”
“You won’t hear me complaining, gets me away from all the paperwork, and if I take a detour I can swing by and surprise my wife for a short bit before returning to work.” He said, lost in his own thoughts for a moment.
Chuckling a bit, “I guess the military is the same everywhere, paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork.”
Laughing along with me he continued, “Come, we shouldn’t keep the Princess waiting, and you guys are actually a lot closer than you think.”
Standing up, and helping Applejack get to her hooves, I ask. “Did you happen to see Princess Luna, Rainbow Dash, and a group of fillies running around today?”
“Yes, I’ve received reports from my guards telling me to expect another prank on Celestia sometime today.”
“Does things like this happen a lot?” asked Applejack.
“Yeah, those two have started a prank war, and the guards are ill-prepared.”
“Casualties of fun huh?”
“Yeah, last week all of Celestia’s personal guards showed up to guard duty purple.”
Laughing as he lead us across the hallway and down a cleverly hidden stairwell he continued, “And the week before that all of Luna’s guards showed up to duty with itchy powder in their armor.”
“So do all the pranks happen on the guards?” Asked Rarity, who was bringing up the rear.
“Thank the Princesses no, yesterday Princess Luna came down for breakfast completely pink, apparently her shampoo had gotten mixed up with a dye, and Luna, not being a morning pony in the first place, did not notice until she had gone back up to her room.” He was laughing hard as he opened the door at the bottom of the stair, revealing a rather angry looking guard who looked like he had gone through a fluffer, his fur sticking straight out in all angles making him appear much larger than he normally would have been. None of us could hold back our laughter at such a ridiculous sight.
“Take a day off Guardspony Grain, if that is you in there?” A nod from the fluff monster, “I can’t have you walking around, I would never get anything done because I wouldn’t be able to stop laughing.” Shining Armor said after bringing his laughter quickly under control, presenting a formidable poker face.
“Yes sir!” He said, snapping a smart salute before quickly departing.
“One of the ‘victims’.” I guessed.
“Yeah, and that’s a new one, I’m guessing today is going to be a long day.”
“What makes you say that?”
At that point I saw Princess Celestia, standing outside of her throne room, sopping wet, apologizing to a group of nobles who were also wet. As I walked over to group she gave me a warm smile before continuing.
“Welcome Sgt Castle, I would invite you into my throne room, but it seems to have developed a weather pattern in there.” Behind the nearby closed doors a large puddle was spreading, and I could hear the faint noise of a heavy downpour.
“So, does something like this happen often?” I ask.
“Only when Luna helps it. Come, walk with me Sergeant. Alone.”
The Princess leads me down the hallway to another sitting room, much like the one we had found earlier. Taking a seat on a comfortable looking couch she invited me to sit in the chair opposite of her.
“So what did you want to discuss?” I asked, fearful that it’ll be a repeat of last time I had met one of the princess, alone.
“I want to discuss how you are, coping with this new world.” She said coldly, giving me a hard stare, “The only reason I haven’t already gone into your mind to see how you think is because my sister vouches for you.”
Standing up suddenly, knocking the chair I was in over, “If you even get that horn near me we will have issues lady!”
“Do not worry, I have no intentions of going into your mind, it is not an enjoyable practice for either party involved.”
“Then what the hell do you want me in here for? I said, backing away from her, reaching into the small of my back.
“To merely discuss your options.” She said, nonchalantly.
“Options? Why am I not liking the way you are sayin that?”
Ignoring my last comment, she continued, “The first option you have is to accept that you are stuck here and make lasting relationships, of which you seem to have made a few already. The second option you have is to go home.”
“Wait! Princess Luna said I would not be able to get home! She said there was no magic to get me home!”
“And there is none, that she knows of, magic has grown in the thousand years she was on the moon.”
“So you can send me home?”
“No, the magic involved would turn our world inside out.”
“Oh, that might just be a small issue.”
“I would say so, I quite enjoy my world like it is now.
So is there an option three?” I ask, crossing my arms in front of me.
“Yes, you can not accept the facts and become a recluse, locking this world out.”
“Why on earth would I do that?”
“Because the realization that you will never have a family here. I don’t know what your relationship with Applejack is but I will tell you now it will not work. There will come a time that she will want foals of her own, and you cannot provide. There will be times that you will want something she cannot provide. I’m warning you now while you still have time to end it before one of you gets hurt.”
You could have heard a pen drop a thousand miles away the silence was so total, I was barely breathing, the rage building in my chest.
“Just so you know, there are some things in life that are deeper than a physical attraction. Just because she’s a different species doesn’t mean I cannot love her. I will admit that sex will be, weird, if it ever happens. As for kids of our own, there is always adoption. It scares me that you cannot accept that we make each other happy, if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be standing here.I owe her my life, she saved me from a downward spiral I didn’t even realize that I was in. Is it bad that your sister, who has been trapped on the moon for a thousand years, because of you, knows love better than you?!”
I was practically shaking at the end, she just looked at me in shock, she definitely was not expecting me to be yelling at her. And neither did her guards as they swarmed the room.
“OUT!” She commanded, the guard ponies skidding to a stop before running right back out of the room.
“Compassion must be new to you,” I said quietly, “You couldn't even show your sister mercy and release her from her private Hell.” I’m not sure if the images flashing through my mind were mine or Luna’s, but the sorrow of being trapped for far too long alone I knew was both mine and hers.
“You are so out of touch with your people that you are getting reports on Friendship for God’s sake. You’re more than a thousand years old and have no friends, have no close loved ones. Hell the only one who ever loved you, you banished to the moon for a thousand years. But yet, you still have the audacity to be trying to tell me how to have my relationships.”
I stalked out of the room, leaving the princess wide-eyed with shock. The guards on the outside of the room attempted to stop me, still clueless about the shouting that had just happened. They had no chance in Hell of slowing me down as I walked through them, parting the group like the Red Sea. My friends were on the backside of the group, concerned looks on their faces.
“Shining Armor, can you lead me to my room?” I asked, ignoring the questioning looks.
“What was going on in there?” He asked.
“Later, right now you probably want me far away so I don’t do something stupid.” I could feel my friends concerned stares burrowing into my back as I walked away. But for the moment, I couldn’t give a flying Batman fuck.
If half of what Celestia had hinted at was true, then I was really going to need to find someone who brewed a nice strong drink somewhere around here.
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Celestia's a bitch...
Damn. That's all I have to say.
1210059
yup, its it obvious who my favorite princess is?dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
1210088 Um, the one the has been determined to be empirically the best? Extensive testing has conclusively proven that Princess Luna is in fact the biological embodiment of the concept know colloquially as "Best Pony".
Additional: Discord is however "Best Deity".
I m-mean n-no, no I'll take you you to my sister.” Luna stammered
idk if you meant for two yous if not there's two
nice
plus: I couldn’t give a flying Batman fuck.
shiiieeeeeet
1210132 That went through a few versions.
1210124 Please ignore the draconequus behind the red text. Luna is also "Best Deity".
1210141
lol
1210146
yup, many, many, many versions
1210220
Wait, there is? I've never played the game so....
Nice Luna is definitely best deity and wow. Cass has major balls.
1210490
thats a bible reference, as in when Moses parted the red sea....
But sure, lets go for a assassins creed refrence too, why notdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Derpy_Hooves.png
Personally, I think that Celestia is testing Cass in the same cold and rather impersonal way she tests Twilight and the others. She's deliberately provoking him and forcing him to confront uncomfortable questions that, perhaps, he might not want to consider, given his new emotional ties to the Apples. Assuming that she's satisfied with his response, she won't interfere. If she's dissatisfied and decides that he's either a threat to Applejack (who, as an Element of Harmony, must be protected) or even to himself, she will find some way to break them up, probably using some kind of mind-magic.
There is no way of telling at this stage what her conclusions are. She is very good at her poker face and playing her cards closer to her chest.
Cold? When you've got tens, possibly hundreds of millions of sentients depending on you for their security and survival, the fate and happiness of one or two individuals is barely an issue. She wouldn't do something like this casually (or even happily), but she would if she was convinced that it was neccessary.
HAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHA YYYYEASSSSSS NEW CHAPTER!
*reads*
hmmmmm NICE
1210597
Even if it is just a ruse to test him I don't see him being the best of friends with her anytime soon
Now i want Celestia to go to him and apologize(while attempting to hold back tears) and then they can be the bestest friendsss forever.
And have a nice long talk while Celestia makes him her first personal friend :D
1210733
in which case i dare her to get her horn near his head, I think i would enjoy writing that scenedl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png
1210736
Some friendships can only start when both parties are ignorant in their own cause.
Now Celestia finally realised that she did went a little overboard by saying those things and want to make up for it.
While Cass somehow feels awefull for putting salt into an old wound that the princess still had.
This will probably happen anyway considering Celestia always wants the best for all her subjects. Allthough it might not go as she planned it to go.
1210720
For what it's worth, I don't think Celestia is too worried about his opinion of her. His co-operation would be appreciated but she's powerful enough and smart enough to do without if he can't bring himself to do that.
I also got the feeling that Cass suspects what Celestia is doing and undestands. He doesn't like it but a soldier knows that he doesn't have to like the high-ups' decisions; he just has to live with them or despite them.
1210836
you gotta remember, he's just human, and his emotions are running at 120 miles per hour, something that is plain as day to use, when we are watching from a cool and calculated 3rd person view from the outside and not having to deal the the situations at hand.
and just because you understand the reasoning behind something doesn't mean you'll like them, at all, i still have a strong dislike for my drill sergeants, but I would not be nearly the soldier(and man) that i am today without the guidance that they had given me
"I couldn’t give a flying Batman fuck."
I am definately gonna use that in the near future!
It's official. Cass is a badass. (so badass, that his name rhymes with badass)
And yes. Celestia is a bitch.
I feel kinda bad for Tia' now.
1219649
doctors induce vomiting to remove certain things, his outfit is making her puke
He owned Celestia and I probably need a drink too hehe
Could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's impossible without surgery.
Celestia banished her sister to the moon for being an EVIL FUCK. She didn't do it for no reason!
And The part with celestia
At the end I was like
1210597
The problem with this at some point you have let go in order for others to grow and her actions were hurtful to say the least. Even if she meant well that not a good excuse.