Ch 14. Why can't Nothin Ever Be Easy?
I stormed into the large comfortable looking room, slamming the door shut after myself. Storming over to the window I threw it open, wanting fresh air to be blowing across my face. There was a gentle knocking at my door, and not wanting to be bothered I ignored it.
The persistent knocking on the door eventually got on my nerves, so I went to the door and as I reached for the door handle, the door was violently bucked inward, smashing me full in the face.
“Now what in tarnation has you soo... Where did ya go?” Asked Applejack as she entered the room.
“Oww”
“Oh, now what on earth are you doin’ behind that door?”
“Just relaxin.” I come out holding my nose, trying to slow the blood pouring out of it.
“Now what in tarnation has you so worked up?” She said as she led me back to the bed, grabbing a towel from the side table to soak up the blood.
“Why does everyone think that our relationship is doomed to fail? Did we move too fast or something? Did I do something that makes everyone just instantly assume that I’m a horrible person only interested in banging you?”
“Ah don’t know. Is that what the Princess wanted to talk to ya about?” She said gently, sitting next to me.
“More or less.”
“Now what is this mental thing that you mentioned earlier?”
“That night at the hospital, Princess Luna came and visited. While we were walking through the gardens nearby she did some magic thing. I truthfully don’t know all the details. But she looked into my head to make sure I was safe to be around. And as an show of good faith, she reversed the spell and let me peer into her mind. Every now and then I see memories and thoughts that are not mine. And I also think we can somehow communicate, as if the bridges made between our minds are more than a one time thing.”
“Have ya tried to, ya know, do it on purpose?” She asked hesitantly.
“Um, no. Gimme a sec.”
Furrowing my brow in concentration I made the mental image of me yelling “LUNA!” at the top of my lungs.
“Ah! Is thy in trouble?” Came her instant response.
“No, just seeing if we had some sort of telepathy.”
“Well of course we do, did I not mention that?”
“You may have forgotten that.”
“Oh, ummm, well HUZZAH! That was a test, and you, um, pass!” I could almost see her giving me a cheesy smile.
“So what bad habits are you teaching my daughter?”
What came next surprised me, I saw a flash of light on the inside of my eyelids, and then I saw the throne room from underneath a table. The vision shifted left showing me the Cutie Mark Crusaders who were armed with an arsenal of prank items. A mirror appeared from nowhere and floated up into my line of sight, showing me Luna’s smiling face.
“It can be more than just thoughts. With some effort we can share our experiences.”
“Umm, is that safe?”
“Perfectly safe, I think.”
I watched as she looked out from underneath the tablecloth at Celestia, who was sitting alone, or so she thought, in the throne room. There were large puddles all over the ground and a lone cloud lazily hanging out near one of the windows. Creeping from an alcove above the throne, Rainbow Dash sprinkled something from a jar down onto the Princess. There was a moment that she just continued reading from the scroll levitating in front of her, oblivious to the prank. Then all of the sudden the Princesses still wet fur started changing color, to a dark blue.
But the Princess just sat there, completely oblivious to the change.
“Should we try the powder of itchy-ness next?” Whispered Luna.
“I can hear you younger sister.” Celestia said without looking away from her scroll.
Luna was climbing out from underneath the table when a gentle shake brought me back to the real world, a concerned looking Applejack looking straight into my eyes.
“What happened?”
“Ah don’t know, you tell me. You tried that mental thing, and next thing ah knew you were droolin’ all over yourself.”
Wiping my face quickly I sat up, instantly regretting it. It felt as if I had just drank through all my stock of Moon Whiskey. Wait....what? Those thoughts were not mine, I had never brewed my own whiskey. I was going to have to ask Luna if there was a way of keeping our thoughts from overflowing into each other.
“Easy there pardner, don’t want ya to hurt yourself now.” She said as she helped me into a seated position.
“Thanks.” The vertigo was fading fast, but it still felt....wrong, to have my body.
“So, what happened?”
“Turns out that we can do more than text each other with our minds.”
“Text?”
“Send messages, like just then I was in Luna’s body,seeing and hearing everything she did. Hell I could feel my wings...Her wings pressed into my sides.”
“Sounds like twelve different flavors of confusin.”
“You got no idea, though you might find this funny, Princess Celestia is now blue.”
Applejack, laughing at the mental images, stole my heart.
“If only I could make her do that more, my life would be better.” I thought to myself.
“I could teach you to make her happier.” Thought Princess Luna, mischievously.
“Not very Princessly of you Luna.”
“I was stuck on the moon for a thousand years, thy will cut me some slack.”
“Umm, hun, you’re doin it again.” Said Applejack as she prodded me in my ribs.
“Oh, sorry, Luna is distracting me.”
“Oh, can she see and hear us?”
“I don’t kn-”
“Yes.” She thought to me.
“Yeah, she can.”
“Well then you might want to look away.” She said as she leaned into me, closing the gap with my face. “I’d like to prove her sister wrong.” She said just before she kissed me.
A Few Hours Later...
“Now you did what?” Laughed Applejack.
“I’m not kiddin’! There I was standing on the roof, my good buddy, Keith, right below me. The beer had made it seem like such a great idea, I mean, anyone can leap into a pool, but who can leap into the neighbor's pool from our roof on nothin’ but a scooter.”
“Oh Scootaloo would love this story!”
“Heh, yeah. But anyways, we hit the bottom goin’ like 25 miles per hour, somehow the ramp that we made outta a keg and a two by four held and we flew over the fence, through the tree, and landed right in the pool.”
“You made it?”
“Oh fuckin’ hell yeah, the only thing we never figured on was that the pool was empty!”
“Whoops, now what happened to ya’ll?”
“Well Keith had to have my teeth removed from the back of his head and I had to get the scooter removed from my ass. But those few months in the hospital was freakin worth it. When I was finally able to walk straight again the women were all over me. You see we humans are simple creatures,” I add with a fancy accent, pretending to drink tea all sorts of fancy-like, “We throw our women at the stupid and the strong, breeding generations of stupider and stronger humans, and thus repeating the process.”
Applejack was banging her hoof on the table, laughing so hard tears were rolling down her face.
“Ah can’t believe you were ever that dumb!”
“Now I was only a kid then, hell I wouldn’t have even known what to do with a woman at that point, I’m sure you’ve had some moments when you were younger. Aw, hell, I’ve been tellin’ stories since we’ve gotten to this doughnut shop and you ain’t even said one yet.”
“Well, umm, nothing really happened...”
“I really need to play poker with you.”
“Poke her?”
“Another time, but anyways, you by far are the worst liar I've ever seen.”
“Ah’m the element of honesty, kinda implies somethin’ don’ it?”
“True, but now you’ve gotten me even more curious, what did you do.” I say quietly, poking her in the ribs under the table, causing her to jump.
“Well, ‘bout six years ago ah found Big Mac’s stash of hard cider.” She said, blushing so hard I could almost feel the heat off of it.
“And?”
“Ah, well, turns out ah can’t hold my liquor at all, woke up the next mornin’ in the middle of town with a lampshade on my head, with a headache worse than any other.”
“Well I could’ve told ya that you can’t handle alcohol. Hardly the worst thing to happen when you got drunk.”
“Well, ugh, there’s more than just wakin’ up in the middle of town.”
“More?”
“Yeah, my coltfriend at the time got the bright idea to, ummm.....take advantage of me....”
“What’s his name?” I asked, seriously.
“Nononono, Big Mac already straighten’d him out, he ain’t even shown his face in town since Mac did that whoopin on him.”
“Is that also why he’s so protective of you?”
“Yeah, ah was so heartbroken that ah couldn’t bring myself to leave my room for a good month or two afterwards.” She said, a solitary tear slipping out of her eyes.
“Hey, stop that.” I said gently, wiping the tear from her face, “He was an idiot for wastin’ a relationship like that. And just think, if you had never broken up with him, you would’ve never been available for a devious manly man like me to come in and sweep you off your feet.”
“Ohhh, where is this ‘manly man’ ah wanna meet him!” She joked.
“Oh hah-”
“Cass!” Screamed Luna.
Falling out of my chair, gaining quite a few looks from the other ponies in the doughnut shop, I look around for the panicked sounding princess.
“What in tarnation is going on with you?” Asked Applejack as she helped me back into my chair.
“I don’t know, I could’ve sworn I heard Luna scream my name.”
“Scream your name....”
“Not like that!”
“Well ah didn’ hear a thing.”
“Hold on.” I said, concentrating on Luna, I could almost feel her panicking.
“Luna?” I thought gently, if that was even possible.
“Cass! Have you seen the crusaders while out in the town?”
“No, but I really haven’t been looking, they were supposed to be with you.”
“They were, but we ran out of the prank tools and I asked them to get more while I raised the moon. I also sent Rainbow Dash with them but they never made it there. What will I do? Have I lost my new friends?”
“Calm down, they probably got lost, can you send me a mental image of the route to the Prank store?”
“Ye-” She was cut off by flashes of light, showing me the route she took every time she went to the prank store and all of the alternate routes she had discovered while avoiding the guards.
“Thanks, I’ll find them, don’t worry.” I thought back to the panicking princess, who seemed to almost be in tears if I read the moods she was broadcasting right.
“What wrong hun?” Asked Applejack, worry written all over her face.
“Princess Luna sent Rainbow Dash and the Crusaders to go get more prank stuff, and they haven’t gotten back yet, they’re probably just lost. Unfortunately Luna is worried that the worst has happened.”
“Ugh, knowin’ that Rainbow Dash she probably got them all lost chasing after some poor pony who looked like a member of the Wonderbolts.”
“Yeah, but we should get going.”
We exited the doughnut shop, paying our rather large bill, and continued down streets that I now knew like the back of my hand. Such as that bush over there where Luna hid for three hours from Shining Armor and his guards after a particularly....embarrassing prank.
Turning down the next street I heard odd noises coming from one of the ally’s, almost sounding like a fight. Curious, I walked over to it, Applejack right on my heels. Peaking around the corner I saw a scene that made my stomach drop like a stone. Rainbow Dash was on the ground, bleeding from the back of her head, and the Crusaders were surrounded by a group of earth pony thugs.
“I asked nicely, and then not quite so, but do I really need to tell you to give me all of your money?” Threatened the largest, who was only bit smaller than Big Mac.
I sprinted around the corner, sliding between the ponies who didn't have time to react to my sudden appearance. Popping up in front of the Crusaders, I lowered myself into a threatening stance.
“If you were smart you would disappear.” I growled.
“Now why would I do a silly thing like that freak, there’s one of you versus six of us, and we are all armed.” He said cheerfully.
I slowly pulled my knife from the back of my pants,the low grating noise sounding louder than a gunshot in the darkening alley.
“An’ he ain’t alone!” Said Applejack from behind their little gang.
“Aww, how cute, your little marefriend is here to save you. I’m gonna enjoy pleasurin’ her right in front of your bleeding face.
Whipping my arm out in front of me I caught the closest in a haymaker, he staggered right into my second punch that put him out before he hit the ground. Not like I stopped to check though, I was already working on the second pony. Slashing at his face, he barely dodged but didn’t see my foot as it connected to the top of his head, driving his face into his own knife. The next pony, seeing his other two buddies fall so easily, turned to run, but was tripped up by his own weapon as it was ripped from his hoofs with a little magic from Sweetie Belle.
The fourth pony, who was trying to fend off a double attack from Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, he never had a chance as I brought the base of my knife up into the side of his head. Hitting him quickly three times he fell into some trash bins, where a swift kick ensured he stayed down. Applejack, meanwhile, was busy bucking the last goon in the face as I charged the leader of the gang. He stepped behind Applejack, grabbing her mane with one hoof and putting his knife to her throat with the other. He just stood there, looking happy at his apparent victory.
“You move and she dies freak!” He said evilly as my vision blurred to black...
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Luna's point of view: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL
Cause i think they can share powers to now.
meep!!
-hides-
It was such a nice day. Slept well, good breakfast and then a evil cliffhanger out of nowhere...
damn...lets see how he manage that
1229117
Luna should totally say that through Cass. If for nothing other then the lulz.
1229117 oh god how will this end LOL!!
Yeah, that guy's dead...
OH MY GAWD YES!HELL FUCKING YES!YTEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!NEW CHAPTER!yeshDSG
*reads*AW HELL FUCKING YEAH!SHOW THOS B*TCHES HOW IT IS LIKE TO HAVE PTSD AND MARINE FIGHT TRAINING CASS!
I'm hoping he like pulls out a pistol and like some slow mo matrix thing happens.
No, but I hope it's an epic scene. Great chapter!
1229867
army....
Huh... I wonder where Big Mac hid the body... I bet it's buried under Bloomburg!
Then everypony dies and Cass wakes up on the moon.... in a mountain of bananas.
1229117
haven't decided the upper extent of there mental sharing so.....
1229137
its what i do best, ruin the best of days
1229965
nah, think matrix with a knife
1230027
Fuck. Yes.
THROWING KNIFE THAT BITCH
M4 B*TCHES!!!
Ellis?
1230178
ellis.....maybe a sly reference to him....
... “Nononono, Big Mac already straighten’d him out, he ain’t even shown his face in town since Mac did that whoopin on him.”...
Would that be an alternate explanation to Sy Clops Pony from "Best Night Ever"?
1229117 i think they arent that connected yet also not related to him <-- MATRIX THROW *dodge and then evil smile slowly moving knife* MATRIX ATTACK BY LIKE 20 OF HIM FROM NOWHERE
1230014 bananass?
Hen you make this guy so mad that he ant see you run deep shit dude he killed a whatever that chicken thing is and ther isn't a trace of it left.
1229117 i love that game
. that would be epic and dreepy... oh god scary thought.
“Ah! Is thy in trouble?” Came her instant response.
Should be 'art thou in trouble'
Excellent, chapter! as always =D
there sending the survivors to iraq?
i don't know if that's better or worse than a zombie apocalypce...