9609703
alright good.

That was a great sex scene all right

9609760
yay!

Good very good

Good, but you still need an editor, it doesn't flow quite well. Also absolutely humongous sentences that get the reader lost.

everyday somewhere in the back of my mind I think, " has this character been shipped with this other character?" then it just happens after a while that someone makes it; Thanks

Welp they got the foreplay out of the way, now all is left is the sex & deal is complete!

9610088

I sure hope so.

~Skeeter The Lurker

9610097
as do I, I don't want my inability to Literature right to get in the way of this being a good story

I wonder what would Twilight react knowing her assistant get his own par... assistant?

Litterature

What is...
What?
Why?
How?!

Good chapter, pretty steamy but looking forward to the next chapter when the REAL fun starts.

How long the gang will be out?

9610203

when I wright Castel and Castle I get no red Underline for either and I can never remember which is right

You're not getting a red underline because both of them are valid words. Castel is one of the Old English words for castle. That said Chrome is currently marking it in red in the textbox I'm typing this response in.

when I wright

On a somewhat related side note, it's kinda funny how many common misspellings were originally totally valid words. "Wright" is a common misspelling of "right", but has a completely different meaning from the correct word. It's Middle English and means a "creator of something" (eg a boatwright is a creator of boats).

9609891
They gotta get hitched 2 remember. Second part of the deal on spikes end

There are at least two myths I can think of where A guy wins a girl by force or threat. Cu Chulainn and Eife getting together after he kicks her but and then Freyer of norse myth who threatens a frost giant chick into marriage

9610328
Oh yeah, that too

No lie, this could be an interesting drama/comedy if done right, on top of being a great porn.

9609318
Found it; https://www.deviantart.com/jonfawkes/art/Riddle-of-the-Sphinx-Pic-of-the-week-MLPS7E18-703639781

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Wish I had done that, they already edited the story

9610673
You could also look at your own edited story :/

Holy random capitalization, Batman!
*tries again to read* I don't even...no!

9610727
I'm stupid Robin

9610727
well, my editor said they edited the story, wanna field test that statement?

*Twilight walks in* Spike? We’re back and I picked you up a-
*see Spikexsphinx*
Twilight:”Excuse me, but what the fuck?”

I would like to see a part where she fucks him in her giantess form.

9610878

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What do you mean by "field test"? Strange way to refer to someone's edits.

9611562
sorry

9611526
that moment when everyone complains and offers zero help, and then over the mountain the great hero Arachne the weaver called down from above,
"Let me just criticize you the right way by showing you what was wrong and explaining why it was wrong instead of just yelling that your trash"

Seriously thank you, I'm editing the story as soon as I post this comment.

9611526
(2) Sphinxes means plural. Unless more than one Sphinx is inside the room without any of us noticing it, then you should’ve written “Sphinxes’” which means that the Sphinx is smiling.

you want me to change Sphinxes to Sphinxes? Was this an accident, or did you do this just to see if I was actually trying to take in what you're telling me?

I edited to rest of the story around what you told me and added a few descriptions at areas you told me didn't make sense, such as clarifying that the Sphinx slammed the door with magic.

9611599
While I appreciate the effort put into that post, most good editors won't be copy pasting most of your writing into their comment and it seems unfair to lump everyone else together as unhelpful. I can help edit just fine, but I think I speak for most people when I say I'd rather do it in a Google Doc than in your comment section.

"Now, now." She said, "I do not think you will need your sweat pants either." Spike sighed as he lost the pants, revealing to her that her original thought on him was wrong, she had seen a lazy dragon on first look, now with a good view of him mostly naked, she saw a Dargon who could probably break through the wall with little effort, Spike was pulling his tank top over his head when he heard the snapping sound, with one final pull he watched as the paper that had been her clothing fell to the floor. Greeting him with not only a full view of her body in all its glory but a look that would have made him take a step back had the forward direction not be so very inviting.

9612329
fear me, for I am the Dargon!

Thanks for pointing that out to me, It's been fixed

Run on sentences that never end, junk words, stuff I flat out have no idea what it tries to say, random words being capitalized and this was the edited version? You need to fire your editor. Preferable out of a cannon.

9615661
Yeah I thought that was weird too. The overuse of capitalization on words like “Member” and “Marehood” made this harder to enjoy reading

Buster Knutt is correct. We (meaning this website) are starved for Sphinx action. So we are trying to help you. For all your grammar faults, you do develop a decent plot and keep things moving along.

Everyone who made a comment to edit and fix your story wants you to succeed.
It takes time and practice to "get gud" at doing just about anything, writing included. Just make sure you learn from your mistakes when they are pointed out.
For example, the Random capitalization of Some words. It actually might be better to error on not capitalizing any words until you get a stronger understanding.

And now, I'll add what threw me off:
Human women have a womanhood.
Mares have a marehood.
Sphinxes have a .......

9615661
(1)Run on sentences that never end, (2) junk words, (3)stuff I flat out have no idea what it tries to say, (4)random words being capitalized and this (5)was the edited version? (6)You need to fire your editor. (7) Preferable out of a cannon.

(1) In your first six words of your complaining here (this isn’t a critique, otherwise it would’ve at the very least pointed out some of the problems) you said a lie. There are several run on sentences, that much is true. But to say that the run on sentences never end is a huge misconception in an off itself. A real “never ending” run on sentences is what almost everyone would call a wall of text that doesn’t respect any comma nor periods in its entirety. And last time I red this story, which happened today I might add, the author does respect both periods and commas.

I would suggest that when you’re trying (and I’m losing that word rather loosely here) to create a critique that you, at the very least, point out some examples or show a modicum of truth while doing so.

(2) Care to elaborate on what a “junk word” is, or have you created a new term that doesn’t exist to proof nothing because the term “junk word” doesn’t exist to begin with. And saying that there are junk words while not pointing said junk words out isn’t only intellectual dishonesty (saying that there’s something that you think is there without proving its existence of it being there) but also doesn’t work in your favour because you never showed any evidence of it being there to begin with. All you’re doing in that simple statement is screaming “there’s a fire” without pointing out where the smoke is coming from.

(3) I would suggest that if you have a hard time reading this rather simple story. I mean, this isn’t an HP Lovecraft novel like Dagon or The Dunwich Horror, that you go and find something more of your level....whatever literary work that might be is entirely up to you.

(4) Do you even know what random actually means? Random, chaotic and sporadic, though used in different contexts, mean practically different things while still holding to the same principle of disorder, be it conscious or subconscious. There are indeed several words that are capitalized, and pointing them out (which actually helps the author) is what most call “constructive criticism”.

And by the way, the word you’re looking for isn’t random (mainly because that means that the decisions taken had conscious decisions behind them). The word you’re looking for is sporadic. Sporadic means that something (in this case the improper use of capital letters) happen in irregular intervals or few places that are either scattered or isolated.

(5) This story wasn’t edited, in should the fact that the story clearly has an incomplete status. It’s still being edited, should you actually read the description of the story, which you clearly didn’t if you ask me that is.

(6) And which of the three eidtors should Silver Butcher fire? I mean, you did notice the three names of the people editing this story right? And in case you didn’t, which to be honest seems to be the case, let me help you with that.

There are three editors you know, editing the story. And here are their names.

Arachne the weaver, Badwold 231 and The Force.

It is impressive what 5 seconds of reading a description can do innit?

(7) And you need to use an autocorrect feature (and before you say “I was on mobile you douchebag” Well guess what, I am always on mobile. I just actually pay attention to what I’m writing and I always do a double take in order to make sure that whatever I’m writing is properly written and actually makes sense.

As Silver Butcher said. There are those who criticise a story by saying that there are problems while not even having the decency of pointing them out. And then there are those who criticise a story and point out the problems that they can find in order to actually help the author. I wonder in which you fit in

I suppose that's a good way to test-run a relationship.

9618420
Well considering that part of a sphinx is in the feline part of their body you are left with either the word for a female cat or a female lion if you wish to be more specific . So either pussy or lioness neither of which sounds good.

Great chapter with juicy details The pacing seem to be a littel fast but otherwise amazing work Thanks for this treat

9618706
Dang

This was a fun and spicy foreplay chapter.

I was hoping she would have fun at her original size

A dragon of culture, knowing is to pleasure is receiving it in turn 👍