Crashing a Canterlot Wedding
"Twilight and her friends will..." The doors crashed opened, cutting Cadence off. A group of twelve changelings led Twilight Sparkle, Apple Jack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie (hereafter collectively referred to as the "Mane Six") into the chamber.
"You were saying?" Queen Chrysalis rhetorically asked Princess Cadence.
"Twilight was the only one who suspected me but none of you listened being caught up in your wedding preparations," Chrysalis mused.
"Now..." she began but trailed off. Everyone looked up in confusion, even the changelings. Rarity broke the silence by asking the burning question everyone had on their minds.
"What in Equestria is that noise?" A distant rumbling, growing steadily louder. An explosion sounded in the distance. A swishing noise above them, faint at first but then definitely audible. Followed by a huge BOOM as the ceiling crashed into the floor, and a sizable crater formed in the middle of the room.
A voice came from the crater, "Kai, disengage spartan lock." followed by a loud hiss of compressed air.
Queen Chrysalis blurted out "Get him!" Without missing a beat all of the changelings rushed towards the crater. Before any of them got there, a strange silhouette came spinning out from the crater. It landed on two legs to almost everyone's disbelief. It stood tall at seven feet and four inches. The dust settled and this creature was in a stare off with twelve changelings.
Twilight was confused, very very confused. This, thing whatever it was could apparently speak their language and looked very... outlandish. It stood on two legs, very similar to how Spike does as a baby dragon, but looked much more adult and didn't look like a dragon at all. It was covered in what looked to be bluish grey metal plates a yellow visor covered where it's eyes would be, it had a very rugged look about it. Twilight was indeed very confused.
B311-627 looked around, eyeing every creature in the room. Sizing up each one. He deemed the one that had yelled seemed to be the most dangerous though he knew not which one that would be. There were, twelve small bug like creatures in front of him. Each stood at about his waist at it's tallest. It had a horn like appendage on it's head and a pair of thin insect like wings at it's sides.Two blue eyes on each head stared coldly into his visor. To his left were what looked like a larger version of the black bug like creatures, but with an elongated horn and three antennae like appendages on it's head.
'A Unicorn' he thought in disbelief as his eyes moved to the left. A tall equine creature with blue hooves and a blue mane stood there. This unicorn had a blue mane and a white coat and horn. It had a greenish look about its eyes.
Near him was a tall, pink-coated "Alicorn?" sat. Its eyes were a mixture of purple and pink, and it had purple wingtips. Its ragged looking mane and tail were a three-tone pattern going from purple, to pink, to a shade of pink that was nearly white. It wore a golden necklace and shoes. It had a mark on its flank that was a prismatic heart with golden adornments on either side of it.
A lilac-coated Unicorn with a purple mane and tail that featured streaks of a lighter purple with a more notable pink. It had a mark on its flank that consisted of a magenta six-pointed star on top of a smaller yet similar white star, surrounded by five stars that were smaller still, creating a sparkle effect. It was followed by a small purple "dragon?" with green spikes and a yellow belly, walking on two legs, along with five other equines.
One was a white Unicorn with a deep purple mane and tail. It also had false eyelashes, and some light blue eye-shadow over its piercing cerulean eyes. Its mark was three diamonds. Another was an orange equine with a blond mane and tail, each tied at the end with a red hair-tie. It wore a stetson, and had a mark on its flank of three bright red apples. Its eyes were a vivid green, with three white freckles at the corner of each. The next to be seen was a pink equine with a darker pink mane and tail that were the very definition of the word 'frizzy'. It had light blue eyes, and a mark on its flank consisting of two blue balloons and one yellow one. The next was a yellow-coated "Pegasus?" with soft blue eyes and a long pink mane and tail. Its mark was three pink-winged butterflies. Lastly, a cyan Pegasus stood a scowl adorning its face. It had a six-colored rainbow mane and tail, and violet eyes. Its mark featured a cloud with a multicolored lightning bolt coming out.
The spartan was cut off from his musings as one of the little black bug like creatures shot forward. It was covered in a green energy, "plasma" he thought. He reacted quickly and deployed his forearm mounted shield. The projecting arms spun out and the plasma based shielding mechanism came to life. The spartan rammed the creature and sent it flying. Two more charged at him, he dispatched them the same way. Five dive bombed him while covered in the same energy. A quick sonic pulse stunned them and threw them off course. Each of them unceremoniously hit the ground with a thud, un-moving. He dispatched two more after being charged. The remaining three were each hit by crowd control grade plasma bolts and fell to the ground unconscious. The largest of the bug like creatures charged a green beam and fired it at The spartan. The spartan rolled and dodged in a seemingly impossible manner. At the end of the room, the largest bug like creature re-fired. Finally the spartan met the creatures magic head on.
He charged a miniaturized Covenant excavator beam and fired from his palm. The bright purple stream met the green energy in a blinding flash. The green beam yielded little resistance and was quickly overpowered and neared the large creature.
Twilight was seeing a light show of magic. The queen fired at the creature and "it?" fired back. While the queen was distracted Twilight moved quickly to Cadence and said,
"Go to him, quickly. While you still have the chance." Twilight then freed Cadence
Cadence went to Shining Armor, and she used her magic to get him out of his trance. Shining armor awoke to bright lights and asked if the wedding was over.
Everypony heard a yell, "NOOO" followed by a blinding flash. Queen Chrysalis had been thrown back against a wall. The thing spun around to face the other ponies in the room.
It first turned to Applejack. As soon as its' arm was raised everypony froze. Applejack reacted first and reared back yelling, "Same side, same side!" The thing paused, and then lowered its' arm a small whine dying off.
"Your spell preform your spell," Twilight yelled to Shining Armor. The spartan spun on her. From his perspective a tag was pinned to Twilight, "NEUTRAL" This tag began flashing red.
"I can't, I'm too weak," Shining Armor replied.
Cadence responded, "My love will help."
The big black one with insect wings got back up, and started laughing. "What a sweet sentiment, and what good would your spell do? My changelings already roam free." The spartan turned on Queen Chrysalis his blank visor betraying a void so deep, it terrified even her. Cadence and Shining Armor touched horns.
An alarm went off on the spartan's HUD. "AMBIENT ENERGY: 30 GJ" thirty gigajoules, ambient!? a glowing started at the front of the room. The two at the front formed a heart shaped and the ambient started rising, and suddenly paused. One word ran through the spartan's mind... fuck
There was a huge blast of energy, it moved out in the form of light closely followed by a shock wave. A sphere expanding at eighteen meters per second. The spartan couldn't run that fast. The energy collided with his armor and a familiar yellow hue began to build on the armor. The energy stopped moving. His shields were being drained even further. 10%. 7%. 5%. 3%. All the while the ambient energy began rising again as the shield was containing Shining Armor and Cadence's shield. Finally, his shields gave out and the blast swept through the suit, causing all the internal suit electronics to glitch out. He fell to one knee but the changelings all were pushed back.
After the blast he was kneeling on one knee. The armor was flashing yellow. Spartan B311-627 stood up and observed the room. It was ornate and seemed that it could be beautiful with out the newly formed hole. Hearing a person approach he turned around and saw a white alicorn. "Hello"
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9615812
I really hope not, but yeah, looking at the past... it's very much possible.
Also, why are there no character tags?
Yeah... not gonna read. Two reasons:
1. It'll never be completed or updated regularly (like most Halo crossovers on here)
2. I'm no longer a fan of the franchise anymore.
H5 was the final nail in the coffin. At first I wasn't at all bothered by it and enjoyed the gameplay. But then I realized how big and complicated the lore was becoming; also the major plothole of Halsey being welcomed back on the UNSC's side when she was clearly wanted dead in H4 by them previously.
Sure the books fill this in... but 343 should know that not everyone is willing to spend money on something that may or may not fill them in in on the details. Or that people just don't like wasting time reading novels and instead want to live the adventure within the game.
This is why I see now why most veteran Halo fans preferred the original trilogy: no major time jumps that require printed reading to catch up on lore, simple gameplay mechanics, and a smooth easy-to-follow story line. Quite honestly... all the Forerunners should've remained dead, and all their history lost forever. The ongoing Human-Covenant conflict along with the Flood should've been the only remaining thing throughout the series.
Sorry for ranting, but I just had to get that out of my system
. Nowadays I prefer Far Cry as my favorite FPS game, mainly because of the open-world sandbox environments, and the weapon customization
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I think this has potential. As such, I'm posting the spelling/punctuation errors I spotted, as well as points that I wanted to clarify or suggest improvements to.
Should have a comma after "lock", not a period.
Don't think there's supposed to be a comma between "were" and "twelve".
This isn't a complete sentence, as it's missing the predicate (aka the verb).
This needs some kind of change, perhaps adding "with" after "stood".
"The spartan" should have a non-capitalized "the".
Since we've switched perspective, it might be more consistent to place another divider above this sentence, like you did previously.
Think this needs a comma after "chance" as well.
This needs spelling correction and probably another comma after "spell".
"A" should be probably be capitalized, since it starts a new sentence.
"Without" should be one word.
What exactly is spinning? Was he was literally spinning around in circles, or was it his shielding, or part of his armor?
Is this his thoughts, or info being provided on his HUD? If it is his thoughts, how does he know to use the word "alicorn"?
Assuming that he deems plasma to be lethal force, why is he responding with non-lethal force? That's usually a bad idea for a civilian or LEO, much less a soldier who would presumably be trained to use lethal force as the first response to an attack.
Wait, so his suit's shielding was containing Shining and Cadance's bubble shield? Was it absorbing the energy, or was his suit's shields projected away from the suit?
I'm going to assume that Celestia's gait would be different from a human's, so perhaps "a person" isn't quite the right description for her approach.
"Hello" might be more impactful on it's own paragraph below the sentence.
In Halo lore Spartans are usually capitalized. Is the lack of capitalization intentional, and if so why?
As a side note, I'm listing the MJLOLNIR IX's major features as shown so far. Let me know if I missed anything:
9615828
Yeah... also, the publication dates don't really match up with the 'timer' ('10 hours ago') and the last time the author was online was apparently last wednesday...
9616216
Well, I'm gonna keep my eye on this one in case this is actually one of the rare cases when a Halo fic is finished.
To be honest, I still love Halo, and its lore is one of the main reasons, but yeah, the way the story was told wasn't exactly the best lately, to say the least. I wouldn't even have a problem with a more complex plot if it was portrayed in the games in its entirety. Novels are nice as spinoff stories, but making reading them basically essential to understand the plot just doesn't really make sense. I'm still wating for the PC port of MCC and Halo Infinite though. Kinda want to see how it works out.
9616549
. If only they reached out to the fan-base as soon they took Bungie's place in the game's development to ask them what they wanted in the next installment.
Frankly I think 343 just likes to find ways to make even more money off of an already best-selling franchise: which of course kills that reputation when doing so
I never said I hate the franchise to be clear; I just don't find it fun to play anymore... especially solo. I think you can see where I'm going with this
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Anyway I might check out Infinite because it looks like an open-world genre, but I'm still not sure
.
9617033
), Halo 5 could only bring joy when played in coop... except they removed split-screen. Yeah, I've no idea what they were thinking with that. And yeah, Infinite looks like it may be good, but sadly most of these 'returns to the roots' in gaming failed utterly... so I guess we can only wait and see.
Maybe you're right, I guess we'll just have to wait and see if they really dedicate themselves to the port as much as they say they'll do.
But yeah, I can definitely see where you're going, and generally I can quite agree. While playing Halo 4 solo was still fairly enjoyable (except for the parts where the new design of Cortana was shown... I still shudder at the thought
I and pretty much other like-minded people knew it: the story died... and just after two chapters? Wow. Not only that but the author seemed to have left the site before even making a bit of a name of themselves,
Man how pathetic
.
Update
Oooook
This is a pretty good start for your story. A few hick-ups here and there but not so bad at all. Just take what you hear as “stuff that needs fixing”
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If this really is your very fist start at writing something than go for it. Everything you will be getting is just “Constructive criticism” and should be used to help you get better at writing. I hope you come back and continue it. This looks like a really good story
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