True Love and Junk

by Goldy

This extremely stupid story

A/N: PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA, READ THE FULL DAMN STORY BEFORE THUMBING DOWN, NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS TO RESIST. (Giggity)
Please note that this story is supposed to suck. That's the point.
Also, it gets serious at the end (At least, a little bit.); if you want to read that, go ahead.

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Dis iz mai frist fanfic sooo plz b niec ok??????? ♥♥♥

True LOVE! EP. 1
Warning! Rated PG-13!! (Because I obviously have the authority to rate it.)

Pinkie Pie
Age: 16
Likes: Candy, radishes, love
Hates: Contributing to society

Rainbow Dash
Age: 17
Likes: Popularity, boys, drama
Hates: Feeding orphans

Rarity
Age:17
Likes: Clothes, shoes, style
Hates: Noobs

Twilight Sparkle
Age: 15
Likes: School, learning, ♥Pinkie Pie♥
Hates: Idiots

Fluttershy
Age: 16
Likes: Art, music, singing
Hates: FiMFiction

Applejack
Age: 17
Likes: Football, hockey, football
Hates: Feeding orphans, too

Chapter uno!
The setting is Hilly Highschool, a small high school with a Russian flag waving with the wind.

"Hey girls," Rainbow Dash said to Rarity and Pinkie. "Let us go to the mall!"

Rarity said, "OMG! ♥ Like I'll totally go!!"

"But we're in the middle of class-" Pinkie said. Rainbow Dash stared at Pinkie intently. After a moment, Pinkie frowned.

"FASHION!!! ♥" Rarity said.

At the MALL...

"OMG!!!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "Try out this new dress!" Rainbow Dash then instantly put on the dress somehow.

"OMG! ♥♥" Rarity said in approval. "It's so totally cute on you!"

"Hey girlz," Applejack appeared suddenly.

"Oh, hey, Applejack!" Rainbow Dash said. "Like my new dress?"

"It makes you look like a toenail clipper," Applejack said, forgetting that she's supposed to have an accent.

"OMG!!!" Rainbow Dash said. "Thanks! ♥ Want to date?"

"Yes," Applejack said "You are as beautiful as a flower and I'll never let you go."

"Hey girls," Pinkie said. "I'm gonna head back home now."

@ PINKIE'S HOUSE!

"Ugh," Pinkie said. "I'm tired of being lonely. I need a GF, too! Maybe I'll go on FB to see who's available!" Pinkie then somehow opened her laptop that she obviously has. She was already on Facebook; her friend, Jordan Mike (Obviously a pony name) posted: "I pooped today!"

Hm... Pinkie thought while staring at the search bar.

LATER...

"Eye no who two date!!!" Pinkie said.

Chapter TOO!

At: Hilly Hightschool, which now has a McDonald's flag.

"OMG!!!" Pinkie said. "There she is!!!" Fluttershy! ♥ she thought while looking at her.

MEAN-WHILE...

"Another A+! Good job, Twilight!" Princess Celestia said.

Pinkie... Twilight thought.

"Now class," Princess Celestia said.. "If everyone would turn to page 527..."

She's so pretty... Twilight thought.

"Today we'll learn about subtraction!" Princess Celestia continued.

Does she even know I exist?

"So as a demonstration, I'll use puppies and this handgun!"

She'll never know how much I love her...

"Now, what's three puppies minus two puppies?"

Unless I tell her!

Arf arf arf! Bang! Bang!

I'll do it at lunch!

Chapter Tree!

"Hey, Fluttershy!" Pinkie said.

"Oh hey, Pinkie ♥" Fluttershy said.

"Wanna go out for some dairy products sometime?" Pinkie said.

"Oh, um sure. When?" Fluttershy said.

"How about two in the morning?" Pinkie said.

"Alright. See you then."

"There's PINKIE! ♥" Twilight said. "Oh, dear, she's with Fluttershy! But I'll have to try to talk to her!" She walked up to Pinkie. "Yo Pinkie."

"huh?" Pinkie said.

"Oh," Fluttershy said. "You two know each other?" Both of the other ponies were silent for a moment.

"I really like your mane!" Twilight said while moving her hoof through it. Pinkie looked at Twilight.

"You're sweet. I like you too, Twilight," she said.

"Really?" Twilight asked. "Better than Fluttershy?"

"Yeah. Even tho Fluttershy is 'popular', she's a jerk."

"We just met!" Fluttershy said.

"Hey, Twilight," Pinkie said. "Do you want to consume some dairy-themed snacks with I?"

"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." Twilight said. She went silent. "Yup," she said with a frown.

Caphetr FORE.

"So Applejack," Rainbow Dash said. "What do you wish to do?"

"We're braking UP," Applejack said.

"But you were my one and only!" Rainbow Dash said, tears falling down her face.

"Oh well," Applejack said, still having no accent. "There are plenty more squids in the toilet. Bad bye!"

LATER THAT DAY.

"Ugh," Fluttershy said. "I am so sad Pinkie does no lurv me."

"Ugh," Rainbow Dash said. "I'm so sad Applejack does not lurv me."

Hmm... they both thought at the same time, with both of their thoughts being in the same thought bubble. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash stared at each other for a moment. Then they both fired lasers out of their eyes and both of their heads exploded. BOOM!

"Wanna go out?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Why not?" Fluttershy said.

V Chapter Five

@ the MALL...

"How's your ice-cream?" Pinkie asked Twilight.

"It's tubular!" Twilight said. They both then stared at each other for a few minutes.

"How's your ice-cream?" Pinkie asked.

CHAPTER SIX!

"FASHION!!! ♥" Rarity said.

♥THE END!♥

If this becomes featured... I'll make PART TWO!

(Btw, that just means like this story. Now do it.)

Also, READ DESCRIP. for upcoming stories!!! Here's some sneaker-peekers!

Cupcakes alternate ending
Cupcakes + My Little Dashie crossover
Fallout: Equestria side story # 12423844723486

As you can see, I like poniez, Cupcakes, and death.

BYE!!!

-♥Girl98♥

...

JK. lolol
I didn't reach 1000 words with this! Time to add some extra stuff!

---

Pinkie smiled as she finished dramatically reading her story to Twilight, who just stood there, awe-struck at the tremendous amount of stupidity. "Did you like it?" Pinkie asked. "Huh? Huh? Did you like it?"

"No, Pinkie!" Twilight said. "That was the most idiotic thing I've ever listened to! 'It's my first story' isn't any excuse for a bad story! Your characters are extremely off, this thing went way too fast, you didn't split the different chapters into different sections, it's really cliche, you used a ton of hearts, which should never be used in a story, and it's just overall TERRIBLE!"

Pinkie laughed. "That's the point, Twilight! It's a troll fic! It's supposed to be a horrible story!"

"Oh, well that's a good excuse," Twilight said. "Oh, wait. NO IT'S NOT. Troll fics are stupid! And for crying out loud, I don't have a crush on you! And neither do any other of our friends to each other! Don't do stupid shipping couples!"

The two went silent for a few moments. "So..." Pinkie began. "Did you like it?"

"NO, PINKIE."

They then continued staring at each other, silently. After a few more minutes, Pinkie said, "You wanna go out some time?"

"Sure."

Comments

[Goldy]

...Why did I create this? It's hard resisting to thumb this thing down myself. I'm such an idiot.

Oh, and by the way...
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My body is ready for the shitload of dislikes.

[Goldy]

...I feel awkward posting this.
But I think that by now, you all know I'm an idiot.

[Goldy]

This pile of shit's 'bout to hit the home page.
I can't wait to see how many people say this sucks in the comments later!

[R-B-D]

The ending was pretty alright

[Mr Ignorable]

I know you did this as a joke. And while the undercurrent of parody is there, and is funny,

I'll give you five seconds before I get my smart hammer. And beat the stupid out of you c:

[Bandy]

I'd still go out on a date with Pinkie even if she was a terrible writer.

[RainbowThunder99]

Actually, this entire thing was pretty damn funny. *likes* *favorites* x x

[WinterSpeed]

....
.....
This is terrible.....
.....
Why do I like it?

[Some Kinda Brony]

I lost it at "Hates feeding orphans" ...... I'm sorry, that was wrong. The rest made my brain want to do this:

[Nanohuman]

Made sure to completely alter character personalities so I didn't corrupt my memories of any of the mane 6. Anyway this was amazing as a troll fic, even though it didn't exactly work at trolling me. Like

[DarkAura]

AJ is unamused... buuuut since this is a troll fic and everyone acts OoC then that means AJ is amused.

Good. Bucking. Job. I mean that as sincerely as you think I meant.

[Ponysun]

Fail troll, OP is a faggot.