…System Reboot Initiated…
…CPU: Operational…
…Motor Systems: Optimal…
…Emotion Drive: Stable…
…Critical Error Resolved…
…Beginning Power-up Sequence…
…Power Core: 95%...
…Portal Recharge Time: 11:20:37:47…46…45…44…
Shadow’s optics slowly came into focus as his systems recovered from his forced shutdown, his movements sluggish as his processors reconfigured to his current orientation. He was lying on his side on what appeared to be a hospital bed, the blinds pulled open to reveal that it was night at the present moment. He slowly moved into a seated position, his gaze traveling around the room as the events leading up to his emotional overload began to run through his mind. It only took a second or two for him to analyze and catalogue the relevant information into subfolders for future use, his processors focused on one thing as he jumped off the bed and made his way to the door.
Dr. Kelly was critically injured, and given how much time had passed, there were only two possibilities as to her current condition. Either the pony doctors had stabilized her, or she was no longer alive.
Shadow opened the door to his room, glancing left and right down the hallway in an attempt to see if anyone was present, but all that met his searching gaze was a dimly lit corridor with a few other doors on either side. Knowing that Dr. Kelly had to be in the hospital somewhere, he followed his audio receptors and turned down the staircase until he reached what he presumed to be the ground floor. The soft chatter of ponies could be detected from a large distance, thanks to the stillness of the night, and it was only a few moments longer before Shadow opened the door to the Recovery Ward.
Standing around a bed in the center of the large room, were Princess Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Shining Armor and what appeared to be the doctor on duty. The dark blue unicorn was wearing a coat and had a surgery mask hanging around his neck as he talked with Celestia, although if the dark expressions on their faces were anything to go by, the news wasn’t good. Captain Goodwill was standing to one side in full battle gear, his weapon at ease but his gaze locked on the door leading to the hall, the perfect image of a menacing guard dog. No one was going to harm his charge while he was on the job, of that Shadow was certain. Other than that, the rest of the diplomatic team was missing from the scene, although given the time of night Shadow presumed that they had gone to sleep and would come back in the morning.
Princess Luna was the first one to spot Shadow as he entered, save for Goodwill’s nod of acknowledgement, her face lighting up as she turned to face him, “Shadow! Praise be that you are well. We were worried that you had fallen to some unknown ailment and would never return to the waking world.”
“I’m alright now, Princess,” Shadow replied as he walked up to the gathered ponies, “but I can tell that there is something that is bothering you. Is Dr. Kelly no longer with us?”
Luna glanced at her sister before the doctor spoke up, his gaze locking with Shadow’s for a moment before turning to the bed behind them, “The patient is stable for now, but there is something that you all need to know.” Shadow stepped past Celestia and looked down on the sleeping form of Dr. Kelly, his ears turned towards the pony doctor so he could listen as he inspected the unconscious woman, “While we were able to repair the holes in her skull and sealed the cracks in her ribcage, I’m sorry to say that there is nothing we can do for the damage to her brain. Physically, she is perfectly healthy, but mentally, we are slowly but surely losing her.”
Shadow turned his gaze away from Kelly and back to the doctor, “You mean she’s dying.”
He nodded, “Indeed. While there are many things healing magic can do, there is nothing that can be done to fix a broken mind. She will continue to breathe on her own for a while, as well as display sporadic brain activity, but eventually the damage to her mind will overcome her body and she will die. I am deeply sorry, I would do more if I could, but unless we delved into dark magic, there is nothing anypony can do to save the human at this point.” He bowed his head and turned away, “I’ll let you say your goodbyes. She might be able to hear you, so I guess that could offer some comfort before her final moments. I’d say she has an hour or two before the time comes, so I’d make it quick. With your leave, Princess, I shall return to my other patients.”
The door closed behind him and for a moment there was nothing save for the soft chirping of Dr. Kelly’s heart monitor. Then, Celestia turned to face Captain Goodwill, her expression guarded and her voice level as she spoke, “Shadow, please repeat what I am about to say so that your guard can understand me. There are a few things that I must know before we go any further.”
Shadow nodded, stepping up to Celestia’s side as the diarch spoke and returning the Captain’s words in turn once he replied.
“What actions will the humans take if Dr. Kelly does not survive?” Celestia asked, “What retribution will they seek for the death of an ambassador?”
The Captain turned his eyes to address Celestia but did not turn away from guarding the doorway of the room. His voice was level and his delivery succinct as his reply growled through the air, “Murder is a serious crime for humans. We used to imprison those that did such deeds for the rest of their lives, but as the prison population grew to unmanageable levels, alternatives had to be looked for in order to keep people from committing the acts in the first place, or at least to discourage the vast majority.”
Celestia’s face became unreadable as a mask fell over her features, “And what alternatives were eventually settled upon?”
“Death.” Was the simple reply, “The taking of a life would be met with the loss of one’s own. Straightforward, to the point, and permanent. I do not know what ponies do to people such as that, but given the circumstances, it doesn’t matter. The ambassador will uphold the laws of our people and request that the perpetrator be tried in a human court. If found guilty of his actions, which I would almost guarantee, then he would be put before a firing squad and sentenced to death for the murder of an ambassador. If you do not allow us to try him in our courts, then you would be pressured to perform similar actions in your own legal system. Given the charge is murder, I would say that unless you imprison him for life, or something more severe, humanity would threaten you with war for the unprovoked killing of an ambassador.”
“And if we chose to resist when we do not dispatch the guilty party?” Luna countered.
“You would lose,” Goodwill replied, “It wouldn’t even be a fight worth writing about in the history books. It would be a one-sided bloodbath that would result in your people massacred by the thousands. We are a space-faring race, Your Highness, with weapons that can level cities from orbit and single-person platforms that can take out opposing combatants from over three miles away. One man could take out this entire city without ever setting foot inside the walls, with the push of a button. I’m not saying you wouldn’t put up a fight, but as it stands, you wouldn’t have a prayer at even scratching our combat forces.”
Silence followed his words, the shock on the pony’s faces evident for all to see as Shadow finished translating. Cadence looked slightly green after hearing what the Captain had said, while Shining Armor simply stared into space, his mouth repeating what Goodwill had foretold like a mantra of doom. Even Luna seemed to have been cowed by the certainty that the human guard had spoken with, her eyes traveling over to Dr. Kelly as if witnessing the death of her subjects with every second that passed, slowly progressing towards destruction as the doctor’s life faded bit by bit.
Yet, as Shadow turned to face Celestia, he saw a determination in her gaze that rivaled the heat of the sun, her gaze traveling to the slumbering form of Dr. Kelly as the other royals moved out of the way. Celestia stood over the unconscious woman and closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath before turning to Goodwill once again.
“I will not sentence my ponies to death when there is another option.” Her voice was determined and level as her eyes moved back to Dr. Kelly, her eyes softening as her horn lit up, “There will be no need for such punishment if Dr. Kelly lives. While the actions of Prince Blueblood will not go unanswered for, I will not allow relations between our peoples to be marred by death when peace and harmony can be achieved instead. Luna, Cadence, I will need your help if I am going to make this work.”
The other royals stepped up to the bed, Luna on the opposite side while Cadence stood at the base, “What are you going to do, sister?” Luna asked.
“Something that will change history for both ponies and humans from this moment forward.” Was the cryptic reply, “I will guide the spell, I just need your power in order to complete it. Hopefully it will be enough to save Dr. Kelly’s life, and prevent disaster from befalling our world.”
Three horns lit up at the same time, light blue and deep navy magic shooting into Dr. Kelly’s body as Celestia’s golden aura enveloped the woman’s form. Goodwill and Shining Armor shielded their eyes as the light climbed to blinding levels, although Shadow refused to look away as Dr. Kelly’s body was slowly lifted from the bed and into the air. Ribbons of light folded around her as the wires secured to her arm and chest fell off, the shriek of the heart monitor flatlining echoing around the room as the cocoon of magic completely hid Dr. Kelly from view.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the light began to fade from the room as the door burst open, the frantic eyes of the doctor and a duo of nurses falling onto the glowing ball of magic as it began to drop onto the bed once more. Shining Armor and Captain Goodwill lowered their arm/foreleg and gaped at what had happened, the doctor and nurses following suite as jaws dropped to the floor. The heart monitor was forgotten as the ball of light settled onto the sheets once again, slowly fading as a form was revealed from within. Yet it was not the form of a human that met the eyes of everyone present.
Lying on her side, her chest rising and falling slowly with each breath, was a cream-coated unicorn, her two-tone gold and red mane falling over one shoulder while her tail curled up between her hind legs. The alicorns sank to their haunches as the medical staff rushed to check on the new pony in the room, one of the nurses finally shutting off the heart monitor as the doctor scanned Dr. Kelly with his magic.
“I don’t believe it.” The doctor said as he finished his scan, “She’s completely healed. Princess, you managed to heal the damage to her brain! But, won’t her body return to normal once the transmodification spell wears off?”
Celestia gently waved off the nurse that was fussing over her, standing once again as Captain Goodwill slowly approached. She watched as the guard inspected the former human with a narrowed gaze, his eyes slowly moving from the sleeping mare to the Princess’s neutral expression, “What exactly did you do to her?”
Shadow figured that his translation wouldn’t be needed, but he did carry over Celestia’s reply as she glanced at both the doctor and Goodwill, “While a normal transmodification spell would wear off after a period of time, the spell that I just used is far more powerful. It takes the living essence of a being and safeguards it while changing their form from one species to another. Dr. Kelly is still the same being she once was, but now in a pony body. Instead of her transformation being temporary, her new form is tied to her lifeforce, which makes it as permanent as the life she lives. She will be a pony for the rest of her life, but at least it will be a life that will last longer than what precious few hours her old body had to live. While I would not normally use such drastic measures for one individual, the threat of war between our people was far too great a risk for me not to act.”
“But what about her duties as a scientist?” Goodwill replied, “She has obligations to the diplomatic team that must be met if we are to open proper negotiations. How can she perform those duties if she’s no longer human?”
“Rest assured, Dr. Kelly will still be able to perform her duties once she gets used to her new body.” Celestia said, a hint of venom tinging her tone as her gaze shifted to the far wall, “I will personally guarantee that she will have everything she could possibly need in order to ensure that your mission is a success. Plus,” a devilish smirk found its way to her lips as her eyes returned to the Captain, “she won’t be forced to learn on her own how to use her new body. We will help her in every way we can and enact punishment on our wayward nephew at the same time.”
Tilted heads and confused expressions were the norm as Celestia turned and opened the door, “Please, follow me. The medical staff will ensure that nothing happens to Dr. Kelly while we are gone. I request that you accompany us as well, Captain. I believe a human witness is required for what I am about to do.”
The royals filed out of the room, Shadow and Goodwill following behind as they made their way through the halls of the hospital. They quickly found themselves standing in front of another room, although if the loud complaining coming from within was any indication, the resident of said room was already up and aware.
Celestia’s horn glowed as she opened the door, the grating whining thankfully falling silent for the moment as the rest of the group entered. Sitting on the bed, a rather relieved-looking nurse standing beside him, was Prince Blueblood himself, his eyes narrowed in annoyance and gratitude at the same time. While Celestia and company filed into the room, the nurse beat a hasty retreat, slipping by the larger ponies as the prince began talking again in his overblown and pompous attitude.
“Oh, thank goodness you’ve arrived Auntie, I was just telling these simpletons that I am perfectly fine and should be released from this establishment post haste, due to the fact that I have a party to attend tonight that I must be…present…for…” His voice rose by several octaves as he spotted Shadow and Captain Goodwill entering the room, his eyes narrowing into pinpricks as his heart began racing once again.
Yet, before anything else could happen, a golden glow enveloped the prince’s body, forestalling his scream and cutting off his magic as Celestia marched up to the edge of the bed, “That is quite enough, Prince Blueblood. You have caused quite enough trouble for one day. I will not let your cowardice cause another international incident like what happened this afternoon.”
“Whatever do you mean?” He asked as his eyes shifted from Celestia to the aliens in the room and back again, “Those are some of the monsters that attacked me in the main hall! They should be locked up in Tartarus for attacking part of the royal family! Auntie Luna,” His gaze shifted to the navy alicorn, who was watching the proceedings with a narrowed expression, “please inform your sister of the transgressions laid upon me by these beasts! I was nearly killed and now they are being allowed to roam freely about the castle!”
“BE SILENT!!” Everyone present jumped as Celestia’s voice echoed around the room, “Prince Blueblood, these are not monsters, nor were you attacked when you encountered these beings earlier today. They are part of a diplomatic team that was sent here to negotiate the relationship between our peoples. Your actions nearly led to the death of an ambassador and could have led to all-out war between the humans and Equestria. Your self-centered ego nearly cost us the peace that has lasted for over a thousand years, and even now you still paint yourself as the victim after nearly murdering an innocent being.”
Blueblood sputtered, trying to come up with a reply, but Celestia wasn’t having any of it, “You will remain silent until I am finished speaking, or else I might reconsider allowing the humans to handle the matter of your trial.” That shut the pompous unicorn up quickly, his jaw closing with a click as Celestia’s tone dropped into a deadly serious rumble, “Due to your actions, and the penalties that have been levied against you by the humans, I am left with no choice but to revoke your title as Prince. You are not worthy of the title after your actions today, and you bring shame upon the noble ponies that came before you. Your land, holdings and wealth will be seized by the crown, and you will be forced to serve the needs of your victim for the next five years. You will care for her while she adjusts to her new body and abilities, and you will assist her in every way possible while she continues her duties as part of the ambassadorial staff. You will live with the humans, learn their language and teach our own so that we can avoid any further incidents born of misunderstandings. You are no longer a member of the royal family, but you still carry the weight of Equestria’s future on your haunches. Your actions will have direct consequences on how the humans perceive ponies, so take care not to disappoint them or me as you move forward. Mess this up, and nothing will protect you from the punishment that was originally placed upon your head, not even me.”
Shadow translated for Goodwill quietly as the former prince gaped in shock at Celestia. Yet as his gaze traveled from one cold face to the next, reality seemed to sink in and tears ran from his eyes as he climbed off of the bed, sinking to his knees before Celestia’s hooves as he blubbered, “Please, you can’t do this to me! My family has been part of the nobility for generations! You-You can’t take my title away! The other noble houses won’t stand for it! I’ll tell them all, I’ll make you reconsider when the other noble houses threaten to revolt! I’m a prince! I’m above these lowly creatures that have seen to trample through our home like they own it! You can’t do this to me!”
Celestia stood there with an impassive expression as the unicorn before her fell further and further into his misery, her cold mask unmoved as she simply turned away and walked out. Shadow and Goodwill followed as the other royals brought up the rear, the wailing cries of Blueblood fading into the background as the door was slammed shut behind them.
“What will we do if he follows through with his threat, sister?” Luna asked as they returned to the room containing Dr. Kelly, “Even we cannot stand against the noble houses if they choose to unite against us to support Blueblood.”
“Leave that to me.” Celestia’s tone was flat, her mane hanging lower than usual as the weariness of the day seemed to catch up with her, “I will make sure that nopony can save Blueblood from his punishment. Not this time. He has gone too far, and his punishment has been a long time coming. I will personally see to it that he does not touch a single bit until he has paid the price for what he did. He will never be a prince, but he will be able to earn back his place as a noble, given enough time and hard work.”
“Then what shall be done about Dr. Kelly’s safety?” Luna added, “Surely you won’t entrust our former nephew to have her best interests at heart after what just happened.”
“That is why I will be assigning more of our staff to help Dr. Kelly as she gets used to her body and new abilities.” Celestia’s lips curled slightly as she glanced over her shoulder at Luna, “You wouldn’t think I’d let Blueblood have her all to himself when she needs bathing and other such things, would you?” She giggled as Luna’s cheeks turned red at the very idea, “Relax, sister, I will make sure that nothing bad happens. Plus, I’m certain that our friend Shadow won’t be letting the good doctor out of his sight for the foreseeable future.”
Luna nodded, her blush fading as she glanced back at Shadow, who had been busy passing on the sister’s words to Goodwill as they returned to Dr. Kelly’s room.
They entered the room once again just as the doctor was finishing up with his examination. The heart monitor and the I.V. drip had been hooked up again, although it was probably more for show than to help Dr. Kelly heal.
“The patient seems to be fully healed.” The stallion said as the royals filed into the room once again, “However, we’re keeping her sedated while we run a few tests, just to make sure nothing unusual is going on. Our preliminary scans have shown that she has next to no magic in her body, so until she absorbs enough of the ambient field to safely utilize her horn, we’re going to keep her here for observation and monitoring. Rest assured that she will make a full recovery in time, but as to how long that will take, I do not have a definitive answer.”
“Thank you, Dr. Suture,” Celestia replied, “We request that any changes in Dr. Kelly’s condition be reported to us immediately, and that nopony is to speak with her until we have a chance to explain what has happened. Shadow,” her gaze leveled on the mechanical hound as he stepped up to the bedside, “please refrain from telling Dr. Kelly anything until my sister and I have a chance to talk with her ourselves. I think it will be a bit easier for her to take it if the reason for her transformation comes from the ones who performed it. Do you understand?”
Shadow nodded, “I do, but I will not lie to her if she asks me what happened prior to the change. I’ll leave the magic explanations to you, but anything concerning the actions of Blueblood and the resulting aftereffects I will not hide from her. She has a right to know what happened, and I see no reason to keep the truth from her if she asks.”
The ponies nodded their agreement as one, Shadow passing on the Princess’s request to Goodwill as the guard took up his position against the wall once more. He grunted his understanding as Shadow sat down next to the bed, everypony except Luna yawning as eyes began to droop.
“Well, I think we should retire for the night.” Celestia covered up a second yawn with a hoof as she turned to face Luna, “I will leave the stewardship of the night in your capable hooves, sister. Please wake me if anything happens or if Dr. Kelly’s condition changes in any way. We’ve come too far to let something slip between our hooves now.”
Luna gently pushed Celestia out of the door, a smile on her lips as her elder sister weakly tried to fight another yawn, “Go to sleep, sister. I shall watch over our newest little pony with Shadow and Captain Goodwill while you rest. Put your worries aside for now and let me carry your burdens while you sleep. It has been a long day and there will be many more to come once Dr. Kelly awakens.”
With that said, Luna stepped aside to let Cadence and Shining Armor out of the room, closing the door softly behind them as she turned around and walked up to the bedside next to Shadow. The lunar diarch looked down on the sleeping mare with a slight frown on her muzzle, her words quiet as she spoke to the machine next to her.
“Such drastic changes in so little time,” her voice was soft but held a weight that seemed to hang over their heads as she continued, “it is a wonder more disasters have not befallen our fair Equestria in the time I was gone. And yet, I see great things coming from this union of cultures, although this poor mare is going to get caught in the middle, of that I am sure. She has a hard road ahead of her,” she glanced down at Shadow out of the corner of her eye, “can I count on you to help her through the coming trials? She will need support from her friends in her time of need, and I cannot imagine anybeing more qualified to protect her and to pull her up when she falls.”
Shadow looked at the human-turned-pony in the bed before him, his emotions running a mile a minute as he tried to compute as many possible scenarios concerning Dr. Kelly’s future. Yet all he ended up with was an overheated processor and a starship’s worth of frustration for his efforts, his mind settling on the simple fact that there were too many variables to predict what would happen next.
He let out a sigh and turned to face Luna, his voice uncertain as he replied, “I will do whatever I can to help and protect her. I’m just not sure if it will be enough to keep her safe.”
Luna’s smile lit up the room as she turned her own gaze to the unicorn mare, “That is all I can ask of anypony. You will do just fine, and I think that Dr. Kelly would say the same, if she knew that you were going to stand by her side. Have faith in yourself, and you will be able to face anything the future throws at you, no matter how challenging. I know a machine such as yourself does not need to sleep, but I do not want you to waste power when it is not needed. Rest now, I will watch over our little pony with the Captain until the morn.”
Shadow wanted to argue, but after overheating his processor and the unexpected shutdown caused by his emotion drive overloading, he was feeling a very foreign sensation in his body and mind. It was like his systems were running at half speed, and his movements were sluggish to the point of almost setting off an error in his coordination program. Shadow identified the sensation as being worn out, but given his mechanical nature, that shouldn’t have been possible. Yet as his optics powered down, he couldn’t argue with the facts as he lay down on his stomach plating and rested his head on his front paws. The last thing he registered before his power-down sequence began, was of Luna softly chuckling to herself.
…Power Core: 94%...
…Portal Recharge Time: 11:16:53:21…20…19…18…
i see real problems could comefrom this a some of humans don't like it when people fuck with our body's without our say regardless of reason the phrase i will die a human first before i live as (insert anything other then human here) is not uncommon yer this could end up very bad the only saving grace is that his fic dose not have a DARK tag so its unlikely to go as bad as i am thinking it could
love your story so far one thing anyway you could do some more world building of what the human race governments are like is there still a U.N are worlds now nations is there one large government i am not sure iv seen it said before now if so please direct me to the chapter so i can read it again
Reading huge blocks of text in italics really sucks. It really breaks the immersion. You might consider using a different language signifier, or using italics for only the minority language in the chapter.
Shame that Doc Kelly's pretty much a pony after this point, but I'm glad that she's alive and Blueballs got the punishment he sorely needed. Most HiE's I've read had the pony conversion spell be permanent. There are buffs to being a pony like a longer lifespan, enhanced strength, flight, magic, and enhanced durability, but at the same time debuffs like increased pacifistic instincts, heat season, cuteness, herd mentality and spontaneous musical numbers to name a few exist.
Mmm, dont know really how I feel about the ponification, I dont hate it but I'm not much of a fan of it really, thou I am certainly happy dr. Kelly will be ok. Xd
And even more ecstatic that blueblood gets what's coming to him! xp
I wonder what Kelly's reaction to being a pony is going to be when she wakes up? I can't wait to read about it in the next chapter!
The guard took that really F***** well. I expect there to be a lot more paranioa from the rest of the humans from now on.
So shadow is becoming more... alive, for lack of a better word
Hitting all the HiE cliches now
This sort of thing always bugs me because it's so at odds with the direction reality is going that it has really dark and dystopian implications for the Earth in question.
Given that the U.S.A. is such an anomaly in favour of this perspective, would I be correct in guessing that you're American?
Here are some reasons it's got such dark implications:
In countries without capital punishment, it's generally considered a bad thing for the following reasons:
OK. I have to say it. This feels hugely contrived.
Blueblood randomly inflicting a fatal injury in a story that, until now, had built the impression that such a thing was tonally incompatible? Characterizing Earth in a fashion which suggests a massively dystopian future? (Those of us who live outside the U.S. but keep up on the state of things already see the present-day, real-world U.S. as dystopian, with the state of its health care system [1] [2] [3] [4], the gun problem, how the police treat those they see as powerless, the wealth inequalities, the political corruption [2], and so on.) ...and then the too-convenient "turning someone into a pony fixes the unfixable" trope?
(Among other reasons, turning someone into a pony is such a major thing that it should be "what the story is about", but you've already got one of those... Shadow becoming humanity's first thinking, feeling A.I. and developing friendships and "a life". Now, you either have to neglect one of those (or give neither enough time to properly shine) and, if the "turned into a pony" is the one that gets neglected, it just exacerbates the feeling that it's a contrived bodge that you're using without properly understanding the narrative implications of adding it to a story which, before, was The Positronic Man crossed with a first-contact story and ponies.)
You've just eaten up a lot of the interest you built up in the story over the first 15 chapters. (Partly because of how many fanfics I've read which jumped the shark and did so by poisoning what was working with an attempt to introduce crude drama or "rebalance" a story that had grown around exploring the interpersonal nuances and/or comedy in a context where the villain was impotent.)
Also, I'm sorry to say that, given where you are in the overall story arc, it's very likely that chapters to come will drop the story's overall assessment enough for it to be dropped from the "Under Consideration" section of my recommendations group rather than graduating to the "Great OCs", "Humans" and "Sci-Fi" folders as I'd expected.
Would it be possible to transform Dr. Kelly back once they gain enough knowledge about human biology?
Similar to how Twilight could transform herself into a breezie, likely with good knowledge on them.
9485056
I’m going to have to agree because I’ve notice this as well, to me it feels like you did this so that the romance tag can happen between Kelly & Blueblood, I’m not crazy but I have a feeling your going to do that which is fine by me but the whole death sentence is very... odd.
I’ve seen many darker Earth stories but never really liked those and I agree with what he said about that.
Be carful with your story
Well, this fic is never getting added to the "Give Blueblood Some Character" group, I can tell you that much. Seriously, he has had all of one voiced appearance and two camios, and the worst he has ever done was troll a perceived Gold Digger. One would think that he had yelled at Fluttershy for all the hate he gets.
9485056
I mean, it's a story about a giant interdimensional robot wolf with laser beams meeting My Little Pony. Surely you weren't expecting Dostoyevsky.
9485072
That is a thought.
Though we don't know if transforming back returns the same state of injury. Since canon didn't say, that's up in the air by itself.
9485135
No, but I can sum up the narrative problems I pointed out in a few more-concise points:
All together, they combine to produce a very worrying sense of "The author's success in the previous 15 chapters relied heavily on blind luck rather than an understanding of what made the story work so well, and that luck may be starting to fail." (Either that or "the author changed their mind and has decided to start the sequel without first finishing the first volume.")
EDIT: Sorry to anyone who read earlier versions of this. I have no idea why my ability to proofread my own work temporarily deserted me.
Hymn .... I don't see them having a problem with her being turned into a pony .... it's gonna suck for her thou she's gonna go from a roboticist to the humans #1 expert on magical energy after she learns some stuff..... the tests the tests oh my g all the tests they'll run to try to replicate a physics and technology breaking ability. They might even have a few volunteers get changed as reparations for their ambassador being attacked.
Blue Blood typical rich bitch. He believes that nothing he does could ever be wrong, even if it puts everypony's life in danger. And if he keeps it up after this, he will find himself before human justice, and even his aunt won't be able to protect him, not that she would disire to.
Hey, you plan to keep writing after season 9 ends?
9485137
That's up to debate i guess, since magic works differently from each story to story. Mainly for plot convenience.
I think the answer is becoming obvious if we question the author about it.
I’m not the biggest fan of Celestia, but I REALLY like her in this chapter. Blueballs got what he deserved.
9485389
To answer your question, I do plan to keep writing after Season 9 ends, although I don't know if I'll add in more works once Gen 5 begins or not. We'll have to see how things go, but I don't plan on stopping anytime soon, even after the main series ends.
Thank you for your frequent comments, and I'll see you next chapter,
Shadow Quill, Messenger of the Moon.
9485935
Hey, I don't know if I will even get into G5 at all, mlp was about more then just the cute ponies to me. It was about Twilight and her friends, and without them, I don't know if I can stay with it.
9486041
seriously? 🤷 I found a video of it.
Ehhh, not really. I've grown a tad tired of Blueblood and the rest of Canterlot's nobility all being made up of all sorts of evil pricks with the power to tear down the Diarchy if they get upset. It's not as if the Canterlot nobility -which itself is kinda fanon when you think about it. The only actual noble we ever see outside the Princesses is Blueblood- has ever been depicted as anything worse than a bit snobbish. Most of them seem to be pretty okay.
Uh, Celestia? Forcing the attempted murderer back on his victim as a caretaker is horrendously disrespectful toward the victim. It's basically compounding trauma.
My only nitpick is how blase Celestia and Luna were after they transformed Kelly. Like after it happened they basically went, "welp, that solves that. I'm going to bed." Other than that, I'm looking forward to how this pans out. I'm getting Project Sunflower vibes from this now
“Hey, Blue-Butt! Kelly’s thirsty, get her some cider!”
Although I felt his punishment could have been a bit more severe,(Like turning him into a human...) it seems adequate considering the plethora of ponies that will be added to Kelly’s personal staff to keep him in line and help her cope. The most important question now is what Kel-Kel thinks of all this. I’m going for the, ‘Ohmygosh, I’manalien, thisisthebestdayever!’
No. This chapter does not fit very well, stop pandering. An evolved civilization will not be crying for blood from an accident, and most certainly not eye-for-an-eye justice. Something has changed and we don't like it...
9484854
Don't forget the emotional stress debuff till the seven stages are done.
9488203 I thought the process of grief has five, not seven.
huh.
Well, I did not see this coming great job!
Also, blue balls finally gets what he deserves nice!
I wonder how Kelly will react when she sees what happened to her?
post the next chapter soon, please!
9486163
I agree full hardly. I prefer stories where Blueblood is is secretly a nice guy. As for his behavior, Rarity couldn't take a hint to save her life. Any single, high society, and eligible bachelor, most likely attracts gold diggers who see him as only a bank roll for life. You have to admit that if rarity wasn't a gold digger looking for a paycheck, she would have defended her friends when he insulted them to her face at the Gala. Bye the way, One of my favorite portrails of Blue blood is in the story Cultural Artifacts by Dan_s Comments
Not only is his roll well thought out, but as the story progresses, he comes across as a quietly competent leader, so screwed over by absolutely everyone that you actually root for him.
The Monk
9486191
You think K was bad before. A group of explorers leaves to start negotiations and just happens to come back fully converted into a actual 100 percent genuine alien.
How do you prove you are who you are when you have a completely different body. New teeth, can't use dental records, new eyes, can't use retinal scans. Cant use medical records, new body. So how do you prove to the spooks and other intelligence agencies that the aliens didn't teleport a mortally wounded human out and replace it with an alien agent of their own.
K is going to have an absolute shit fit. As are some of the team members she came with. For example, that human translator is not going to believe its her at all. he has a very distrustful personality, as proven in the initial board meeting where he suspected some funny business was going on.
The Monk
9490336
The Author has a ton of little easter eggs in his story. Much wider meme-age than a single movie.
Doctor Scott is Rocky Horror Picture Show, from the Cthulhu Mythos, penned by the famous 1920's horror writer Joseph Frank Keaton.
And thats just two of several easter eggs in the story.
Sadly, like many 1900-ish horror writers Buster died penniless and relatively unknown While the book never saw popularity, a movie based on the Rocky horror achieved cult status. He is mainly remembered for his Cthulhu mythos which was kept alive by H.P Lovecraft in his stories, and the famous story "The Ghost Map by Doctor John Snow"
The Monk
"Knowledge is power and power corrupts, so study and be evil." - Reykan
I'm loving this, it is very good!
While I like what happened to Blue, I kinda wanted it to have been someone else... I dunno, like bumping into a dragon and accidentally impaling her on the dragon ambassadors spiky fins or something... Coulda opened a whole new world of problems!
How about celestial goes and fucks herself.
9484815
That is what my stance would be. I honestly don't know how I would even begin to describe my anger if some random horse shoved me into a new body I didn't ask for.
Good read and you got originality going for you as well, which is hard to come by on Fimfiction these days.
Nice bombshell at the end too but i have to agree with HugLordFalcor I'd be fucking pissed to be changed into a pony against my will all things considered and my first waking words to Celestia would be "eat a DICK"
9485056
I don't get people like you, why can't you just roll with it, it's fiction.
What's funny though is all the time and effort you put into researching all those nifty facts and then writing all that plus putting all those links in as well LOL. I gotta ask, how long did it take you to put all that together?
You know you could have used that time to do something productive in your life. Just saying...
9495806
First, it's an expression of how much I care about the story. I love this story, therefore, I care deeply about it not driving itself to ruin like so many other fics I've read over the last 15 years which made comparable missteps as the first sign of having jumped the shark. I want it to be the best story it can be.
Second, I write stuff like this as a way to give something of value (advice) in return for being entertained by an art form that the author can't legally accept money for.
I won't deny that I got a bit carried away there. I intended it to be just a short little thing but it turned into a long OCD ramble of "one more thing" and "I can do better". The key thing to understand is that, while I'm in the grips of such a process, I enjoy it just as much as reading a good fic.
Actually, it was very productive. This isn't the only time I've brought these sorts of issues up and it's very satisfying to finally have a solid set of citations on hand. I'm planning to rewrite that comment into a post on my blog so I have something not tied to a fanfiction site that I can point people at.
(I'll probably post my review of Eon by Greg Bear (a classic sci-fi novel) first though. The last week or so has been a mess and that'd been in the backlog longer.)
9485056
I'd disagree on the gun entry, but you do have a point with that one. I'm not sure how the future earth would handle an increasing amount of its citizens ending up in jail. Either they end up working (leading to slave labor with a chance of trumped up crimes to get more workers), or they cost ever more money to house (leading to poor conditions and a loss of funds for more useful things).
The trend is to assume that as society reaches post-scarcity (which interdimensional travel would imply, at least that the tech level is comparable), crimes would be reduced, but it's also not so clear that's really the case. If information is the only thing that's really worth anything anymore, wouldn't that make for even more BS copyright laws? (As an aside, the current ones are depressingly funny to read. SO MUCH SILLINESS...)
I'm suspecting that at least a part of this future earth IS thus dystopian. Sure, there are some well-meaning people, but there's apparently a Hugh Jass in charge of the Slider facilities, and if there were no exceptions made for a meeting with aliens (BB could probably get freed under a "chronic stupidity" clause...) that went badly, what can you even hope for?
I agree that this is kinda a distraction from what we thought was the main plot, though. I have nothing against the diplomacy team, but now we have to deal with a legal battle and a transformation alongside Shadow's evolution.
Home run! Celestia should have gave him to Shining Armor. That would also set him shight. Oh well, but I'm still happy with the results.🙂
9496228
I agree wholeheartedly with everything you have described. I really liked where this story was headed and how it has been written thus far, but when I got to the transformation bit, my feelings toward the whole plot kind of... tilted, in a way. Of course, I'm not quite as able to put my thoughts as articulately and er... factually into text as well as you did - maybe I'm just not equipped with that level of OCD.
"that was... kinda disappointing..." were the resounding words that echoed fervently in my mind for the rest of the chapter. Whilst I am a sucker for eventual happy-endings, there are times that if and/or when the risk of death - a permanent lack of continuing existence as a character in a story - ceases to exist, interest in plot deviates and disintegrates. Especially if that event is overlapping another, such as the existential interactions between Shadow and the ponies.
Erm, the coherent side of my thoughts kinda end here.
9485150
The only point I can agree with here is the bit about Blueblood.
I don't in anyway see how you feel this suffers from tonal whiplash, considering this isn't even the first time a near-death situation has happened in this story. Or did you forget that Applebloom was literally eaten alive?
Also, pony transformation isn't being used as a plot-point at all; it doesn't matter what species she had turned into, the plot point is the transformation away from humanity. And quite frankly, in a story about human/alien relations, I find that to be a more than appropriate side plot. (I also find your assertion that something can't be used as a side plot well to be rather close-minded)
Finally, considering just how far in the future this is, I don't really think any current goings-on can accurately be used as evidence to the contrary.
Speaking as a military brat, and an avid "Royal RPer" (my Ponysona is the prince of a non-pony race)... Celestia was too gentle with Blueblood. He nearly killed an ambassador for BUMPING INTO HIM. As much as I love Celestia, and agree with her rule and stance against violence, near murder deserves more of a punishment than being stripped of his title and forced to "watch over the newly made mare" he nearly killed. My MLP-sona would have put him to death on the spot. No questions asked, no bargaining. Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars. Do not go to jail. Go straight to the chopping block and await the executioner. Granted, my sona is... well, not violent by nature but is a PRINCE of a warrior race, unprovoked murder such as Blueballs' would be punished by execution, immediate or otherwise. Though I do agree with Celestia's method of healing the doctor... I don't agree with her sentence of Blueblood. Tia, you're the PRINCESS. After you stripped him of his title, he threatened to have you usurped. That, right there... that is an admittance to an act of open rebellion against the rightful ruler of the entire nation. LITTERALLY ANY OTHER ROYALTY would have executed him right then. Less risk of his words reaching sympathetic ears.
Ooooh, but you were doing so well. I liked where it was going with the first contact, and the "emotion drive" was a stretch I could just about live with, but these last two chapters...
It may just be me, but a robot making actual tears is a no, and pony transformation is a no. A very big no, mind you. You know how many of these there are? Too many to count, and it's just a lazy like grab. This is a hard descision for me, but I'm just gonna dislike this and leave the story behind. Good day.
Poor story decisions here. This was a historically significant moment, the grand diplomatic meeting of two worlds...and you turned it into a silly and pointless Kick the Buttmonkey moment.
Doesn't even make sense. Why in the world would the guard be the one explaining the human response. Where was Lang? You know, the diplomat? He doesn't even appear in the chapter. You removed him because you know perfectly well he wouldn't say anything at all like what your guard said.
And then Celestia's reaction? Could she be more stupid? Putting the very cause of these problems, Blueblood, in a situation where he has to keep interacting with the humans? Instead of keeping him as far away from them as possible? Really?
For that matter, how in the world is this even better than letting her die? Consider two possibilities: 1) "Ambassador died in an accident. They're very sorry. " Or, 2) "Oh look, those new aliens we just met assimilated our ambassador with a forced full body transformation that destroyed her humanity. At least we think so. The other running theory is that they abducted her and she's in a lab somewhere being experimented on while and they replaced her with a unicorn given the memories they forcefully ripped from her mind."
Which of those scenarios do you think humans would react better to?
And you did all of this just so you could kick Blueblood?
9489691
The sad thing is that "Bluebood is bad" is a complete misunderstanding of the point of his character. The Gala episode was a deliberate gender reversal. Everything he did was either a parody or straight showing of traditional female expectations. Expecting a date to pay for food? Gasp! Who would do such a thing?!? Oh wait, women do. Hiding behind someone to avoid flying cake? Doesn't sound so crazy if it's a girl doing it, does it? Wanting a date to put down their coat on the puddle? That's an old-timey traditional show of chivalry...by men. Blueblood's purpose was to tell girls to stop having such unreasonable expectations of men, by showing how obviously ridiculous those expectations are when it's a guy having them.
And yet, the fandom's takeaway is that Blueblood was a horrible, horribly pony for not living up to the very unreasonable expectations that his character existed to deconstruct.