A Tale of the Pinkie Pied Piper and the Pastel Pestilence

by Pacific Penguin

Cheesecake!

…I didn’t even try to pretend that I understood what exactly Pinkie had done. It was mesmerizing, to say the least. And probably more than a little inexplicable. I would try to ask her to explain what exactly she had done later, but it would prove too… Pinkixotic for me to follow, despite immense effort on my part.

Perhaps you’ve had this problem with Pinkie Pie before?

I’m pretty sure if I asked her again, I wouldn’t get the same explanation a second time, either. But maybe that’s the ingeniousness of it. She’s such an occurrence, that she can’t be replicated. If she went into business parasprite hunting, she’d certainly have a monopoly on it.

I don’t see how anypony could possibly try to reverse engineer or derive her methods from her.

Business efficiency aside, we still had to get the lot of the parasprites the heck out of Fillydelphia before they caused any more damage…

Still a little dumbstruck, Guy and Prim Amber could do little more than follow the premier party pony forward down the street. Unbeknownst to them, their mouths hung open as they followed her in a daze. There weren’t any ponies around to let them know that their mouths had decided to have minds of their own, however, there were plenty of parasprites swinging up and down in the air. But they were too busy being possessed by Pinkie’s song to voice any such complaints. There were so many of them crowding the air around Pinkie… and yet, it must have only been a small fraction of the entire parasprite infestation.

Guy was the first to come to his senses, shaking his head violently, which caused his helmet to rattle on his head. “Hey… Prim?” he said, still sounding a little dulled. “I think… I think if we want to finish clearing the city… you may need to amplify Pinkie’s song.” He looked at her briefly, then continued. “I know you’re a little drained… but could you do that? Help end this infestation - oh the thought! - finally?”

“Hey… you got it, boss.” She replied, horn already glowing. Pinkie’s normally light pink coat was briefly accentuated with an amber glow. Not that she noticed, she was too far in the zone, and was again marching forward with her eyes closed. Almost immediately after her horn’s glow died, Prim stumbled.

But Guy was immediately there to support her. “Good work! Here, you can use me as support,” he said, and offered a hoof. “I think you’ve earned yourself an extended break after this. For now, just take it easy.”

“Of course… sir?”

“Yes, Prim?”

“You will take a break as well, right?”

“Oh, assuredly. Leave it to you to look out for me better than myself… anyway, we should help guide Pinkie so that she can disinfect Fillydelphia the most effectively. What kind of coverage is she getting with her music now, do you think?”

They proceeded to discuss the specifics of Pinkie’s broadcasting range, the most effective route she might take, how long it might take her, the works. Once they had devised a route for her, it was a simple matter of nudging Pinkie Pie to get her attention, and then dictating to her where she would need to go.

It took them the rest of the day to clear the city. By this point, the pink pony was quite the sight. Parasprites funneled toward her from the sky, forming a tornado-looking formation down to her, and more and more parasprites joined it from every direction each passing moment. By twilight, they had her herding them off to Ridley Creek. She looked very fatigued (but then again, they all did), and after a brief inquiry as to her ability to carry on (a conversation which consisted of her making various scribbles on a pad of paper between notes), they managed to get a response something along the lines of “cupcake reserves full” from her. Not ones to doubt the Pink(ie Pie), they let her journey on to the mystical wooded area.

But they did, of course, insist on seeing Pinkie to the forest themselves. When they reached the outskirts of town, they met large group of extremely bewildered ponies. Which, considering the large collective of parasprites, came as no surprise. Most of the ponies’ reactions were to stop and stare. After Guy eased their fears by insisting that in fact the situation was under control, many were calmed, but many others still stared in obvious disbelief.

It wasn’t every day that a huge, slow moving tornado of parasprites oscillating up and down, which touched down at cotton-candy colored pink pony, who appeared to be playing no less than five instruments at once, waltzed out of Fillydelphia, after all.

---

He finished off the letter with his systematic sweeping signature. For such a large incident like this, there was a lot of paperwork to go through…

But this letter wasn’t part of the paperwork. This was a letter for the Princess informing her that Fillydelphia was now free of the parasprite threat.

He gave it a quick check making sure it covered everything, then rolled it up and bound it. He tossed it to their secretarial baby dragon, who immediately sent it away in blue flame. Guy had some breakfast to catch with Pinkie and Prim before Pinkie caught the train. He knew just where to take them, too…

He arrived. It was a small, older restaurant, but it was good. He insisted on surprising Pinkie. Besides, he figured she probably liked surprises. And what could be a better surprise than potentially the best Filly cheesecake in the whole city?

He pulled a chair out from one of the tables outside, and took a seat. He had asked Prim Amber to lead Pinkie Pie to the restaurant, so all he had to do now was wait for them. It was an especially bright morning. Perhaps a little hard on the eyes, but Guy didn’t mind.

Soon enough, Prim and Pinkie had arrived.

“Well, if it isn’t the parasprite prima donna herself. If I’m to believe what I’ve been hearing, you’ll be commandeering parasprites to go forth and take over the world next, heh. Good to see you!”

“Aw, it was nothing.” Pinkie said shyly.

“Oh, but it was! You didn’t have to take this on. Me, I was just doing my job. But you came here voluntarily, and saved Filly! Right Prim?”

Prim nodded in agreement. “Indeed, sir.”

“So, you wanted some Filly cheesecake, right? Well, here we are, the best cheesecake place in all of FIllydelphia! Have as much as you want before you go!”

Guy ordered for the group, and in no time, there before them was a beautiful beige cheesecake, with a drizzle of caramel and some raspberries on top. It even glimmered a little in the light. They divvied it up, and began to eat. Guy took a bite. Oh, it was just as good as the first time he had had it… He looked up.

To his surprise, the entire cake was gone. Gone. “t-the- wha-juh? What happened to the cake?!” he stammered out.

Licking her lips, Pinkie said “Mmmmm… You said I could have as much as I wanted! And lemme tell ya, it was phantasmal!”

“Eh… nevermind. I really should know better by now.” He said, then finished his slice of cake. He got up and went to the front counter.

“We’re going to need another cake.” was all he said.

---

The station was filled with ponies today. Pinkie had cleared the parasprites only last night, but news had traveled fast. It was a bustling hub again, as train stations should be. The voices of numerous ponies carried through the air. A train had just arrived, bringing with it an influx of ponies. The Friendship Express, is what it said on the side. And, if the train schedule for today was to be believed, it was to depart in 15 minutes.

Pinkie, Guy, and Prim stood in a small semicircle around a cart on the train platform. They were finishing up putting away Pinkie’s instruments in their many various cases. Then Prim Amber loaded them onto the cart easily with her magic.

“… And you should be all set then.” Guy was saying. “You’d probably better be boarding soon then…”

“Ohhhh, but I hate goodbyes!” Pinkie said with a sniffle. She reached up with her hoof and wiped away a tear. “You’ll… you’ll write, won’t you?” She pulled out a notebook and quill, and quickly wrote down the address for the Cakes’ bakery, and handed it to Guy. “Send me a letter sometime! Oh, wait… you know, I think Twilight has been doing some research on parasprites... you should send her a letter too! I’m sure she’d want to know about everything that we did!” At this point, she took the notebook and wrote in Twilight’s address. “There, now if you can’t get a dragon to send it, you’ll still be able to get a letter to her!”

Over the hustle and bustle, a voice rose: “The Friendship Express will depart for Ponyville in five minutes!”

“Oh! I’d better go! But I will miss you both! Be good!” she spoke, while giving Guy and Prim each a quick hug. “Happy trails! And if you don’t write, I will, I’m warnin’ ya!”

“Take care of yourself.” said the white stallion.

“Adios, Pinkie Pie.” came the response from the purple-maned unicorn.

Pinkie pushed the cart onto the train, then turned back, one hoof still hanging onto it.

“One last thing,” the head guardspony said. He called out to the station, “Give it up for PINKIE PIE!” and clapped his hooves on the ground, which spread like wildfire.

“Oh, you all are TOO sweet!” she said with a giggle. She waved to the crowd vigorously. They cheered for her as the train began to move. The rate of the train’s chug-a-chug increased steadily, evening off soon after the train left the station. Pinkie waved the whole time. And this time, there weren’t any parasprites to digest the train.

…And that’s how the biggest swarm of the century went down in Fillydelphia. I would have written Pinkie Pie first, to be honest, but the Princess told me how important this parasprite research is. I still feel our city is completely indebted to Pinkie Pie for what she did. It could not have worked out better.

I’m pretty sure I covered everything, but if you have any other questions, just let me know, and I’ll try to answer them for you.

If you want an account of what happened from Prim, well, you can get that from her yourself; she’s now in Canterlot. After the Princess got wind of what she did in Filly, she invited her to train to become a sage of magic at Canterlot castle. I’ll miss her, but I wish her all the best. You’d better watch yourself though, I think she’d be a viable bearer of the element of magic at this rate, heh.

As for me, I’m still in charge of the guard here. No complaints from me though. It’s good work.

Oh, and don’t tell Pinkie this yet, but Princess Celestia has a special award to give to Pinkie Pie for her actions during the infestation. She plans to award it to her personally. I don’t know exactly what it is, but it sounds pretty impressive.

And that concludes this letter. I made it as brief as it could be, and it still turned out to be pretty long. But Pinkie said you’re an avid reader, so perhaps this won’t be verbose enough for you. Ah well.

All the best,

Gaius Felix

Comments

[DstroyA]

love the concept and the story line is pretty well developed but the pacing seems just slightly off to me. It's an entertaining read but it doesn't seem to me that it put enough detail into the locations and the dialogue could use some work. It's a great story, but it could always be greater. Keep writing.

[Pacific Penguin]

993226

That's the kind of feedback I'm looking for. Thanks for leaving me a comment!
Those are issues I'm aware of, and things that I'll be trying to improve on in the future.

[DstroyA]

993271 always glad to put in my two bits for aspiring writers. While I don't write anything myself I love to read and as such find that my advice is often surprisingly helpful. Glad I could be of use.

[Bronzedragon]

A thought that just Pinkie popped into my mind. Is it possible that parasprites are a subspecies
of tribbles. Somebody call Spock.

As for the pacing being slightly off. What else would happen when Pinkie is involved.

[The Rarispy]

Loved this story. My only disappointment was that I was starting to hope for a sort of romance to blossom between Guy and Prism.

Maybe I've just got too much shipping on the mind. All the same, I really enjoyed reading this.

[MeadowRosePony]

996368 I'm pretty sure a romance has blossomed- use your imagination and read between the lines

But Guy was immediately there to support her. “Good work! Here, you can use me as support,” he said, and offered a hoof. “I think you’ve earned yourself an extended break after this. For now, just take it easy.”

“Of course… sir?”

“Yes, Prim?”

“You will take a break as well, right?”

“Oh, assuredly. Leave it to you to look out for me better than myself… anyway, we should help guide Pinkie so that she can disinfect Fillydelphia the most effectively. What kind of coverage is she getting with her music now, do you think?”

[Koipondponies]

Uhh... Why is an E rated story in an M rated folder? Even more confuzzling is the fact that it has no tentacles, yet is in the "Everypony Loves Tentacles" group... Weird... If you would please remove it? From said group?