Color of text represents the person who is thinking the text. Silver = Dawning Light. Purple = Twilight Sparkle.
I realize it may be hard to read the silver thought text, and apologize. This chapter is confusing, I know. I spent a long time rereading it to get the details as understandable as possible. If your head hurts, I recommend you visiting your doctor as you have probably been mind fucked!
Serious comments, please. No bull crap. Constructive criticism is appreciated. Thank you for the feed back.
Interesting story so far, first unicorn is probably lonely all alone in the Everfree so yeah go kiss a unicorn, but why doesnt she just go visit ponyville, maybe she cant leave the forest and disappears during the day?
I can read the text just fine. However, it is considered good form to write is such a way that cues like that are not needed. Prehaps you should make it a goal for future chapers to try and work on writing such that people could understand who is thinking even if were to not use colored text?
958639 read this comment from earlier. This is going to be the twist of a life time! Your head will spin! The sun will be delayed from rising as Celestia reads this! Trolls will be asking themselves "Dafuq???" last line... (thats you)
958739 Didn't it though? The feeling of seeing it on the featured bulletin board was amazing! I was getting more notices about this story than I ever imagined I would! I hope you enjoyed reading this, your majesty.
Lets see. Dawning Light is slutty mcslut, who couldn't keep her legs closed to anyone except her husband. She gave birth to 2 children, neither child of her husband. I think they let her go too easily. Luna and Celestia are children of heavy adultery and bastard children, hell she wasn't satisfied with one adultery, she had do to do double adultery. Oh what a great mother. Also would be great for public morals if this was to get out, bastard children with slutty whore mother ruling all equestria, all their actions would be forgotten and labeled as hypocrites. After all this time she is now brainwashing Twilight and feeding her with artificial love and lust. I call that rape. Also the energy she is feeding Twilight was supposed to kill her...so she feeds that energy to one poor unicorn so she can live forever and whore herself around more. Maybe get married again and again for multiple adulterys and bastard birthing.
958570 I think I missed your comment. I'm sorry. Umm, I'll see what I can do. People seem to be okay with the color and it really matched Dawning Light... But then again, it is hard to read......... Still considering my options.
959515 Did you read chapter 2? She fired magic lazers. You call that taking it well?... As Celestia might say *gotchya* Lol, yea she did take it well, didn't she?
959463 Your interpretation of this story is highly misled from the start. She was banished for her actions and the crime fit the punishment. Also, I don't know if you knew this, but gods *greek gods* did this sort of thing all the time! And she is not brainwashing Twilight. she isn't using magic. Dawning Light is under a love spell. Did you not see the episode of mlp where Twilight lost her head and enchanted the doll causing everyone to love it? Same, concept only flipped up a bit. My original character isn't a "whore" as you put it. She made mistakes that she is sorry for. (Which if you would let me finish the next few chapters, you would find out just how sorry she really was!) WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES! EVEN GODS! Next time you want to totally shit on my story, you should do this...
959535 Yeah I read that. I meant that she's taking the information Omegaflank is dishing out really well... I.E. Sole purpose in life is to be a mute goddess' consort. And. HISTORY! She should be jackhammering Omegaflank with questions!
959589 Thank you so much for the nice comment, unlike others who find it proper to try and make an original character sound like something their not!959463
Color of text represents the person who is thinking the text. Silver = Dawning Light. Purple = Twilight Sparkle.
I realize it may be hard to read the silver thought text, and apologize. This chapter is confusing, I know. I spent a long time rereading it to get the details as understandable as possible. If your head hurts, I recommend you visiting your doctor as you have probably been mind fucked!
Serious comments, please. No bull crap. Constructive criticism is appreciated. Thank you for the feed back.
Keeps getting more interesting!
958289 glad you like it!
this story is on the front page... cant... contain... excitement... (five minutes later...)
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3r3wpHNdQ1r3xauuo1_1280.png
Congrats on the feature!
cool story
958370was... it was on the featured... for fifteen seconds... STILL AWSOME!
958405 thanks!
958452 was that your best 15 seconds of fame ever?
958458 No... I once met Paul McCartney. that was my best 15 seconds.
958468
15 seconds more then stories who dont get featured
And lol, i made a load of possible scenarios in my mind, her being their mother wasnt among them
MOAR!
958484 wanna know how i came up with this? see the picture below.
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw299_1298776425927.jpg
please dont cry 958474
958502 @15 second feature:
i.qkme.me/3owx11.jpg
958509 Lmao! Yep, but hey, 15 secs was enough to shoot up the fave level of this story! I think its great! I'm grateful!
958534
43 likes 75(6) comments.
Also my first comment:
Nailed it!
958554 lol, yep! nice call!
Wow I quite liked this alot!
Could I suggest choosing a darker color for Dawning Light? Like a green or light blue?
Consider this favored, liked and watched
958554 So, tell me, was the silver text difficult to read, or does it make things more interesting?
958572 Wanna know what I looked like when I had the premonition for this idea???
s17.postimage.org/tv027vnwf/Luna_explosion.png
I stopped and literally thought to myself "Dafuq?... This is PERFECT! Must write story!"
958612
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltnm0gDJYZ1r2ipzbo1_500.png
I can read the text just fine. However, it is considered good form to write is such a way that cues like that are not needed. Prehaps you should make it a goal for future chapers to try and work on writing such that people could understand who is thinking even if were to not use colored text?
Can't even think of something funny, cynical or even funk inducing for a comment.
Sweet Celestia, I must be getting old or not funny.
958628 Yea, I just thought it would be an interesting change to the way stories on this site are generally written.
958639 read this comment from earlier.
This is going to be the twist of a life time! Your head will spin! The sun will be delayed from rising as Celestia reads this! Trolls will be asking themselves "Dafuq???"
last line... (thats you)
958666
Well apart from the fact that I'm going to cry my self to sleep tonight, keep up the good work Babycakes.
958695... Babycakes? Rotflmfao! Oh, no, no. Don't call me that. Oh you funny!... Oh, and by the way, please don't cry!
958693cheers, love!
My, my, my. This story certainly exploded in popularity.
958643
Colored text is fine, as long as it is not used as a crutch in place of proper writing.
958739 Didn't it though? The feeling of seeing it on the featured bulletin board was amazing! I was getting more notices about this story than I ever imagined I would! I hope you enjoyed reading this, your majesty.
958743 I only use it for thought text.
I wonder if I should include changelings in this story...
958717
Having a sex tag i get what kind of "involved" you have in mind.
blog.applejunk.net/wp-content/gallery/cache/3656__420x_if-you-know-what-i-mean.png
Hmm banging the mother and the daughters, Twilight would be a real player.
958769
Please no changelings x3 that would complicate the story some I think unless it happens later on.
And yes I plan on rereading this all day
this is incredibly good and well thought out. i am loving this so far so please keep up the beautiful work.
I like the Story more and more! I ask myself what happend, when Celestia and Luna find out, that there Mother is still alive!
958484 milf
958990lets hear it for over 420 views!
959241 oh, of course they wouldn't be til much later on in the story.
959331 your makin me blush! ill do my best
959333
959376... ya sly dog, you!
Lets see.
Dawning Light is slutty mcslut, who couldn't keep her legs closed to anyone except her husband. She gave birth to 2 children, neither child of her husband. I think they let her go too easily.
Luna and Celestia are children of heavy adultery and bastard children, hell she wasn't satisfied with one adultery, she had do to do double adultery. Oh what a great mother. Also would be great for public morals if this was to get out, bastard children with slutty whore mother ruling all equestria, all their actions would be forgotten and labeled as hypocrites.
After all this time she is now brainwashing Twilight and feeding her with artificial love and lust. I call that rape.
Also the energy she is feeding Twilight was supposed to kill her...so she feeds that energy to one poor unicorn so she can live forever and whore herself around more. Maybe get married again and again for multiple adulterys and bastard birthing.
958570 I think I missed your comment. I'm sorry. Umm, I'll see what I can do. People seem to be okay with the color and it really matched Dawning Light... But then again, it is hard to read......... Still considering my options.
Congrats on the fifteen seconds of fame....
I'm not jealous at all.
Not one bit...
The story's escalating quickly and Twilight's taking it awfully well.
959515 Did you read chapter 2? She fired magic lazers. You call that taking it well?... As Celestia might say *gotchya* Lol, yea she did take it well, didn't she?
MIND. OFFICIALLY. BLOWN.
I'm really enjoying this story. I'm patiently awaiting the next chapter.
959463 Your interpretation of this story is highly misled from the start. She was banished for her actions and the crime fit the punishment. Also, I don't know if you knew this, but gods *greek gods* did this sort of thing all the time! And she is not brainwashing Twilight. she isn't using magic. Dawning Light is under a love spell. Did you not see the episode of mlp where Twilight lost her head and enchanted the doll causing everyone to love it? Same, concept only flipped up a bit. My original character isn't a "whore" as you put it. She made mistakes that she is sorry for. (Which if you would let me finish the next few chapters, you would find out just how sorry she really was!) WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES! EVEN GODS! Next time you want to totally shit on my story, you should do this...
narwhaler.com/img/uy/6/think-before-you-post-spiderman-Uy6rCE.jpg
959463 That's another thing. How the fuck is she supposed to go around fucking every pony IF SHE IS STUCK IN THE EVERFREE FOREST!
And, technically, the power she is granting to twilight is a GIFT! not a curse! your argument is what i would call "derpalitious!"
959535
Yeah I read that.
I meant that she's taking the information Omegaflank is dishing out really well...
I.E. Sole purpose in life is to be a mute goddess' consort.
And.
HISTORY! She should be jackhammering Omegaflank with questions!
959589 Thank you so much for the nice comment, unlike others who find it proper to try and make an original character sound like something their not!959463
959664 Omegaflank! Oh... Best comment I've heard all day! Oh... Oh... (Omegaflank...)
958757
I have. I admit, I do worry a little as to where this story could go, but I try to keep an open mind.
959696 As I said. Nothing bad will happen to Twilight, nor any pony else. My intentions are good, your majesty.