Mash my buttons

Button Mash824 stories ·1,380 members

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Regis-Th3-Lesser

Regis-Th3-Lesser #1 · Dec 26th, 2017 · 1 · ·

Keep in mind that this is my first fanfic. Please consider supporting me on patreon!

Me: Awe, it’s nice to have a new author :3

Inner Me: Destoy his confidence!

Comment posted by beamssuwu deleted Dec 26th, 2017

beamssuwu

beamssuwu #3 · Dec 26th, 2017 · · ·

8630010
very funny I actually laughed at that.

Regis-Th3-Lesser

Regis-Th3-Lesser #4 · Dec 26th, 2017 · 1 · ·

8630184
Don't worry. I'm a big joker. I forgot to read this, but I may as well now

Regis-Th3-Lesser

Regis-Th3-Lesser #5 · Dec 26th, 2017 · 1 · ·

That was bad. Rushed, prose was clunky and hard to read, and... I don't know what to say about your dialogue.

Button Mash says, "I, ummmm" button stuttered while covering his cock with a part of the bush
Sweetie Belle says, "were you watching us?"
Apple Bloom says, "yeah, were you watchin' us?" Apple Bloom and Scootaloo walk away shaking their heads
Button Mash says, "yeah" He knew there was no denying it "I was"
Sweetie Belle says, "what are you hiding there?" trying to move the part of the bush hiding his thing.
Button Mash says, "Um nothing! nothing at all." *blushing a little* Sweetie Belle tries to move the bush a little but finally succeeds.

When writing dialogue, you usually want to put the speaking action (he/she/it said) behind the dialogue.