Wait what just happened? You were in the middle of the party that was just getting to the good part and suddenly the story skips it? Did you forget to post the second chapter or something because that's what it feels like. This feels like an entirely different story. In fact the first chapter could be the start of the 2nd story and this feels more like the start of a 3rd story. It's really jarring and doesn't flow well when you suddenly jump ahead like this. Personally I'd rather you took your time to finish off what happened after chapter 1 than this as this chapter was a big let down to me.
8645886 That's pretty much where i'd planned to end it to start with. It was really mostly just a prologue of sorts than anything and to show that they're making the effort to include him.
8646095 It doesn't work though, it really feels like there are missing chapters because of this. In fact you could place the first chapter later on in the story as they are on the island for better flow. I think everyone would have preferred you actually finish that first part before going on to this to make the story work better. It's kind of a mess now with chapter 2 being all out of place.
8646095 I don't want to come off as rude, but I don't think that was a great decision. Regardless, I enjoyed reading the first chapter, and the last story, and I cannot wait to read more
I know you got this a bit, but I feel like there is more you can do here. In my eyes I see a lot of potential for this sequel. I love what you did, having the girls pitch in and try to include Spike more, and this can be done in later chapters, but I feel like there can be more development between them. Overall, I really like this, and I would hate to see this in the graveyard with other cancelled or bombed sequels.
Wait what just happened? You were in the middle of the party that was just getting to the good part and suddenly the story skips it? Did you forget to post the second chapter or something because that's what it feels like. This feels like an entirely different story. In fact the first chapter could be the start of the 2nd story and this feels more like the start of a 3rd story. It's really jarring and doesn't flow well when you suddenly jump ahead like this. Personally I'd rather you took your time to finish off what happened after chapter 1 than this as this chapter was a big let down to me.
Thank Celly for more of this story!!
8645886
Agreed. It does ruin momentum.
Good job
What's the island's name?
Awww, I wanted to see more of their game of Truth or Dare.
8645886
That's pretty much where i'd planned to end it to start with. It was really mostly just a prologue of sorts than anything and to show that they're making the effort to include him.
8646053
hadn't decided on that yet.
I'm really enjoying this story. I like these characters and how they're being portrayed. I hope the author keeps on with this one for a good while.
8646096
How about Shadow Dragon?
8645886
Agreed... I was momentarily bit confused. First they are doing party-game's, the next chapter they are choosing vacation spot...
8646111
Doesn't quite fit with the idea of an island resort.
8646219
Pleasure Island.
i.ytimg.com/vi/ss7AQC79t2s/maxresdefault.jpg
Shouldn't this be prologue instead?
8646095
It doesn't work though, it really feels like there are missing chapters because of this. In fact you could place the first chapter later on in the story as they are on the island for better flow. I think everyone would have preferred you actually finish that first part before going on to this to make the story work better. It's kind of a mess now with chapter 2 being all out of place.
8646400
I agree.
8647014
Same here.
Guess I'm the only one that doesn't really mind the jump.
8639488
Bit of a spoiler, but it's quite ironic when you made that comment...
Ok I can’t wait to read this I think when I saw this I cried idk because i was also yawning but yeah imma read this now
Glad to see that this is continuing, can’t wait for more.
8646095
I don't want to come off as rude, but I don't think that was a great decision. Regardless, I enjoyed reading the first chapter, and the last story, and I cannot wait to read more
8646400
^^^^ This
8700367
Well yes. Big is good too, of course...
I absolutely loved the first story, so I'm really excited to see how this one turns out.
Dead goose story? If it is welcome to what 90% of these stories I put in folder eventually become quickly after I put them in folders.
No offense, but part of what a sequel is supposed to do is one-up the original. That said... *lowkey requests more, even steamier sex*
This was a fun read :) I hope you keep going with it.
8777728
Pretty sure its a perma cliff hanger
I know you got this a bit, but I feel like there is more you can do here. In my eyes I see a lot of potential for this sequel. I love what you did, having the girls pitch in and try to include Spike more, and this can be done in later chapters, but I feel like there can be more development between them. Overall, I really like this, and I would hate to see this in the graveyard with other cancelled or bombed sequels.
8802976
Same here i want to see more of this i like it
8777728
CLIIIFF HANGER HANGING FROM A CLIIIIFF AND THATS WHY HES CALLED CLIFFHANGER!!!
8800689
Until I see 'status: hiatus', I maintain hope :p
WE...WANT... MOOOOAAAAARRR!!!!
Another great story that had really good potential just left 4 dead in the water
*knock knock knock* helloooooo.... Anypony alive here?... Author?... I feel its been much too long since an update
More please?
I hope there is a new chapter soon. this story is very interesting
Continue this. It was not only funny but capture Tempest pretty well. In my point of view that is.
If it ain’t to much can you please add more I would like to read more to see if tempest really means by sharing spike
This is really drawing, cant wait for more!
More please.
Going to go ahead and make the educated guess here that it's been left to rot.
Update?
I would like an update to this story for Christmas please!!!!!!
Need more! This is by far the best harem I’ve seen yet.
When's the next upload??
Are you dead?... Alive?...In limbo?...
If you’re in limbo, I’ll see if any of my
fellow demons can help you return... for
a price...Ten tons of solid pure platinum.