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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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The Sirens, oh man I hope that Chrysalis finds out about the portal and goes through it by mistake, it would be cool how she reacts to the human world and maybe she finds Sunset, the Mane 7 and the Sirens too, heck it would be cool for her to run into Human Celestia, Luna, Cadance and herself too.
Hahah, nice.
Obviously, you're just being considerably evil, Chryssie, nothing more. And the Nile is really nice this time of year.
Well, considering that their screams were probably audible from the other side of the planet, no wonder someone heard them.
Meanwhile, cut to Luna's furious scrubbing bath number 362.
The lurking pony can't be Pinkie, she's terribly at being sneaky. RD would have done something brash rather than subtle. Maybe it's Fluttershy? Could be Applejack as well, considering all the noise those two made on the outskirts of Sweet Apple Acres.
I hope Applejack likes eggs, because she's about to get scrambled.
Loved it. It's just so entertaining how whenever Twilight seems to get one over on Chrysalis, Chrysalis pulls the figurative rug out from under her hooves. It's also great how Chrysalis is slowly coming round to genuinely caring about Twilight.
Something interesting you could do in developing Chrysalis's character is have her reach a point where she's forced to confront her feelings for Twilight, perhaps by somehow submitting to her. As a consequence, however, she could end up hating herself for betraying her ideals and end up poisoning herself due to her self-hatred; after all, she feeds on emotion, so it makes sense that feeling negative emotions directed to one's self would hurt her. This could lead to Twight eventually reconciling with some of Chrysalis's more predatory qualities as she realizes it's simply part of who she is.
You could also have Chrysalis molt her shell some time. By doing so, it could make her completely vulnerable to Twilight and others. This could even lead to Twilight caring for Chrysalis while she's indisposed and learning to actually love her. It would be even better if Chrysalis tried to hide her molting, just to lay on how much Chrysalis defeats the thought of Twilight, or anyone for that matter, seeing her vulnerable.
Why am I reminded of the nightmare all of a sudden with that voice...
Calling it now, the stalker isn't Applejack.
This is total bullshit, because Twilight went from "clever & on guard for tricks" to "wearing her stupid hat" in between the barn and the farmhouse.
8702823
Funny how what you find super entertaining is the single thing I most dislike about the story. 8447422
The one silver lining is that since Chrysalis seems to operate entirely in this mode...
s2.quickmeme.com/img/b9/b9b27724987d87d96748b52a7470d000ba078e55944a21dc54a45a9ac32d5e96.jpg
...it would be pretty interesting character development for her to truly understand the concept of "a win-win compromise".
8703029
It is kind of annoying always seeing Chrysalis being the one "coming out on top", but I guess on the other hoof the entire story is Twilight getting one over on Chrysalis who's only now just starting to barely realize it.
I'd like to make it known that this would've been out on Saturday, but I was being slow.
I’m loving this more and more! Applejack is the obvious stalker, but for some reason I’m betting on Rainbow.
Great Chapter, You are really making Chryssi the most lovable character in the story and she is moving up into my favorites!!!
Oh, Chryssi. Don't worry about that feeling in your chest. Probably just heartburn. Yeah, heartburn. Totally not that other thing. 'Cause, y'know, you're a big tough Changeling queen. So, yeah. Heartburn.
I lost it at this part. Chryssi has good taste in fishhorses.
I-it's not because I love you or anything. Baka!
Those her plans are mainly successful, it seems the long ha!e is Twilight's
Oh, I can't wait to see Chrysalis bloat up. Here's hoping Twilight will have learned by then how to be an evil tease.
And who oh who could be the Peeping Tom? I'm betting on Lulu.
I'm not sure where this story is going but I've really enjoyed these past two chapters. I'm very much looking forward to the next one.
Well now you did it. You got me hoping the sirens will somehow make an appearance here, unlikely as that would be. Excellent chapter.
8705255
Oh no! I shudder at what would happen if Adagio and Chrysalis met.
I usually try to answer every comment, but I'm getting a little overwhelmed, so I'll say this here: I'm really happy to see so many people are enjoying this story, and I also appreciate the comments of those that enjoy it less. I once told myself that I'd stick to smut, that I'd just write clop with a story, but somehow I find myself writing a story with clop. I blame my love for Twisalis. If you ever see me posting a non-mature non-sex tagged story on this account, send help.
Cheers to y'all!
8702904
I mean, she's the obvious choice, too obvious, so obviously she wouldn't be the stalker. But is it too obvious it's obvious, to the point it would be obvious to subvert the too obvious obvious? But then is THAT too obvious?
8703029
I still have your feedback in mind in mind as I write, and even if the story doesn't necessarily go where you'd prefer, I do hope you still enjoy reading it. You can't please everyone, and never should try to, but listening to legitimate criticism does help a story grow.
8703222
Considering you catch the silliest mistakes and helped make my writing a lot less derpi, I'd say it's largely worth the wait, no worries mate.
8703705
derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/8/18/1228112.jpeg
Silfoe does best Tsunsalys!
8705264
I'm posting this link to a random story for no reason at all, I would never do something as awful as self promote or anything like that. Ever.
8703185
The question now is just how long it'll take Twilight to realize it.
i was just going to say dang this is hot.
but i see something going on hear Chrysalis has fallen for Twilight for real.
8705804
Well, I really appreciate that attitude, and I think it bodes well for you as an author, whether or not the fruits of that effort are ones I care to reap. BTW, if I ever catch you writing PG-13 Twilight+Chrysalis, the help I send is likely to be in the form of upvotes.
8705804
But if it was Applejack, Chryssie would've recognised her scent and her heat. So I shall place money on Fluttershy. It's always the quiet ones, plus of her friends, she's most likely to be in woods.
8709706
But equally it's not stated that Chrysalis doesn't recognise the pony following them. I wouldn't be at all surprised if it's just a red herring put in there to mess with the readers a little; when you break it down Applejack is the only one of Twilight's friends that doesn't require some stretching to place them there: Fluttershy might hang around the wild edges of the farm looking out for critters, but outright stalking a pair of ponies after watching them bone seems extremely out of character for her. There's a strong case for Rainbow Dash being at the farm because we know she often uses the trees as napping spots, but when you combine the apparent backwardness of herds in this story with her Cloudsdale upbringing and being the element of Loyalty, I can't really see tailing a married couple with the apparent intention of getting some as something that she'd do either. Plus there's the extremely simple explanation that if Rainbow Dash really were trying to follow them unnoticed there's no way she'd be on the ground, so we can safely discount her completely.
Meanwhile Applejack is on the farm, drugged by Chrysalis (let's be honest, bug queen's defence on that point was total bollocks), in love with Rarity, apparently okay with herds, and it was pretty obvious from how Chrysalis teased Twilight in front of her that there was no way they'd make it off the farm before having sex. In fact I'd say as it stands she's the only one of Twilight's friends that Chrysalis could conquer without the story having to bend the rules considerably and I'd be genuinely surprised (and a little disappointed) if it turns out it wasn't Applejack after all.
8711848
I entirely agree that it wouldn't be Rainbow. However, Applejack also wouldn't really tail somebody, she's more likely to have kept out in the open than hiding behind a tree.
It does, however, fit Fluttershy's behaviour quite well. She is, at the end of the day very shy and of all the Main 6 the most likely to hide behind a tree after catching them, though from embarrassment rather than malice. (The only other who is likely to hide behind a tree to watch would be Rarity, because gossip)
I reckon Fluttershy has a crush on Twilight but was too shy to act on it previously, and the time spent behind the tree is her working up the courage to actually do something.
Either way, we'll find out (Eventually)
8712166
Well, it could be a number of ponies, AJ, Big Mac, One of the CMC? They were on the farm after all, in one of them out of the way areas were the clubhouse is....
Who knows... I'll eagerly await the next chapter to find out.... (Edit... OH My, the next chapter is already out.... Welp, back to reading.)
Lets all hope its not Granny Smith... XD then again she dont seem the sneaking type LOL
you missed "of which"
9025160
i read this entire chain, good luck to the next person who tries
…waaaaaiiiiit a minute…Chrysalis isn’t talking about Rockhoof, is she?