Because sometimes you don't want an epic tale about how things got to that point, y'know? Or to put it another way, this story gets to the meat (heh) of the matter.
PRINCESS LUNA PREGNANT EQUESTRIA SLEEP-DEPRIVED AND CRANKY MARKET CRASHES AS ECONOMY DISRUPTED MONKEY MAN BANISHED TO MOON
Twilight threw the paper in a huff, landing it squarely in the center of the Cutie Map. She growled as Starlight and Spike entered the throne room, and bolted the door behind them as they made their escape.
Right now she was just the Princess of Distant Acquaintances. Friendship would take at least three more cups of coffee.
She hammered down another cup and turned the page.
8484570 In his view they were kimda harassing him and threatening him. He made valid points about what reality would've done. Plus coming out of no where is a sure sign of creeped out to a protagonist
In his view they were kinda harassing him and threatening him. He made valid points about what reality would've done. Plus coming out of no where is a sure sign of creeped out to a protagonist
Well, yeah, they were. And that is a fair point. Although if he did have honorable intentions, he would have continued to her cottage anyways.
Sweet Celestia, this was glorious. And I do hope Celly is sweet, for his sake. This is one of the few pieces that can only be described as 'meh' from the text alone... but as soon as you make the effort to really picture what you're reading, it becomes laugh out loud funny. Well done.
Sweet Celestia, this was glorious. And I do hope Celly is sweet, for his sake.
This is one of the few pieces that can only be described as 'meh' from the text alone... but as soon as you make the effort to really picture what you're reading, it becomes laugh out loud funny. Well done.
Thank you!
Pretty much all of these are really lacking in development, but if you start thinking about them they get funnier and funnier. Or at least that's how it happened in my mind.
No. This can't be the end. I demand (yes, demand!) an epilogue, you missed the obvious finale: the (attempted) hook up with Nurse Snowheart. Then it can be over. Unless there's Discord.
No. This can't be the end. I demand (yes, demand!) an epilogue, you missed the obvious finale: the (attempted) hook up with Nurse Snowheart. Then it can be over.
Would our protagonist really want to hook up with the only pony who can fix him after all his sexual problems? What if she gets mad at him? What then?
When I come up with more dumb ideas (which, let's admit, is probably going to happen), I'll do a sequel.
tiny text
I don't even know how that would go. That's the kind of thing that Super Trampoline could write well.
Dear Princess Celestia, I heard the most amazingly strange thing last night. I'm not quite sure what it was, but I'm including a transcript. Sincerely, Princess Twilight Sparkle.
9619327 I mean, I’ve never met a ghost, so I can’t say for certain, but practically everything I’ve read suggests that they’re supernaturally cold, so...
Huh, he never did make it into Celestia's bed. Or she into his - I'm not sure what the Royal Protocol is for humping someone who's humped your sister and your student.
True Fact: The alicorn amulet wasn't meant to be used to take over villages or Equestia - it was created by Celestia so she could have a roll in the hay with her latest fling so she wouldn't break somepony's pelvis while in bed. Or on the Throne. Or on the windvane cunningly hidden on top of her private tower.
Heh, tiny.
...
Somehow, despite the crudeness of my mind, I had not considered the Royal Canterlot Voice's ramifications with sex.
I never would have picked Luna as being into water sports...
Now I can't stop laughing
8484380
Best joke in this collection. (With apologies to Admiral Biscuit)
Headlines:
Twilight threw the paper in a huff, landing it squarely in the center of the Cutie Map. She growled as Starlight and Spike entered the throne room, and bolted the door behind them as they made their escape.
Right now she was just the Princess of Distant Acquaintances. Friendship would take at least three more cups of coffee.
She hammered down another cup and turned the page.
"Phhhht. No!"
8484204
Somepony had to say it.
8484267
I mean, in hindsight it's really obvious.
8484380
I'm glad that joke got caught.
8484420
8484475
That is a very intentional watersports joke.
8484570
In his view they were kimda harassing him and threatening him. He made valid points about what reality would've done. Plus coming out of no where is a sure sign of creeped out to a protagonist
8484509
And that's how Tirek was made.
8484591
Well, yeah, they were. And that is a fair point. Although if he did have honorable intentions, he would have continued to her cottage anyways.
8484594
Yet Mac and Bulk interveive, when the protagonist was going to agree to what Fluttershy wanted of course, and practically told him off
8484612
Well, we don't know she was going to agree. And what if he gave her fleas?
...
If anything, I think Anon might need medical attention.
8484699
And if the fleas had _crabs_? Surely Fluttershy would have a cure for that. Otherwise she could serve the crabs tea.
Sweet Celestia, this was glorious. And I do hope Celly is sweet, for his sake.
This is one of the few pieces that can only be described as 'meh' from the text alone... but as soon as you make the effort to really picture what you're reading, it becomes laugh out loud funny. Well done.
Please don't end this here, it has so much more potential
8485036
The more I think about that, the more disturbing it becomes.
8485805
Thank you!
Pretty much all of these are really lacking in development, but if you start thinking about them they get funnier and funnier. Or at least that's how it happened in my mind.
8488909
That's basically all I've got for now.
Of course, there might one day be a volume 2.
8494889
What is wrong with me? I laughed so hard reading these XD
Hope you can think of more eventually for other characters
Either Celestia will kill him, or want to go next...
Or go next then murder him in his sleep... so... both...
Bendy-tier conclusion.
8521229
(my favorite is the ghost one)
I'm sure I will, some day. When I get enough, we'll have a volume II.
I'm not sure his eardrums can handle round 2 with the Royal Canterlot Voice.
I don't think Celly would murder him in his sleep. That sounds more like a Limestone thing (and she didn't).
She might banish him to the moon if he's not good enough, though.
8527242
Thanks (I think)!
Superfluous speech marks?
And poor anon.
8581157
Heh, oops! Fixed, thanks!
He's already died once, so it can't get much worse.
8696796
Or a jealous one who can't get laid no matter how hard she tries.
Yes, you do.
8705265
Seeing as how everyone sees her as a goddess who they are not worthy of being near, that is perfectly fair.
Luckily, Scootaloo hooked up with her.
And they had adventures in Twilight's gall bladder.
8705283
It's potentially not the craziest thing I've written.
No. This can't be the end. I demand (yes, demand!) an epilogue, you missed the obvious finale: the (attempted) hook up with Nurse Snowheart. Then it can be over. Unless there's Discord.
8731192
Would our protagonist really want to hook up with the only pony who can fix him after all his sexual problems? What if she gets mad at him? What then?
When I come up with more dumb ideas (which, let's admit, is probably going to happen), I'll do a sequel.
I don't even know how that would go. That's the kind of thing that Super Trampoline could write well.
8735115
1) He's hooked up with everypony else, why not her?
2) He's not smart enough to worry about such things before it happens.
8735124
Those are two very good rebuttals.
Dear Princess Celestia,
I heard the most amazingly strange thing last night. I'm not quite sure what it was, but I'm including a transcript.
Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle.
8789978
Heck, if Twilight figures out that it was anon, she's got measurements and other scientific data.
good one, pretty funny
9270956
Thanks!
9617738
Huh… okay.
9619327
I mean, I’ve never met a ghost, so I can’t say for certain, but practically everything I’ve read suggests that they’re supernaturally cold, so...
Huh, he never did make it into Celestia's bed. Or she into his - I'm not sure what the Royal Protocol is for humping someone who's humped your sister and your student.
9809937
Honestly, he’s probably lucky that he didn’t. He might not have survived a roll in the hay with Princess Celestia.
9810096
True Fact: The alicorn amulet wasn't meant to be used to take over villages or Equestia - it was created by Celestia so she could have a roll in the hay with her latest fling so she wouldn't break somepony's pelvis while in bed. Or on the Throne. Or on the windvane cunningly hidden on top of her private tower.
9811021
New headcanon accepted.
“Put this on.”
“Why?”
“So you’ll live.”
9817561
Huh. So that became a chapter?
9821300
Sure, why not?
8484586
Went right over my head.