Perique whirled, aghast. "LIttle one, if you do not slow down and wait for me I am going to punish you when we get home—" she called as she took flight, winging her way after Scarlet..

You say that like she would consider getting punished by you a bad thing

Scarlet and the Nurse was a good scene.

Ok, this is super interesting. Added it to "Tracking", though it might be added to more of my bookshelves later.

Hmm. The plot thickens. I'm tempted to suspect mind magic of some kind, both to impair Floral in the Borderlands and to convince her to blame herself. Though if that's the case, it's shoddily done stuff, easily falling apart under logical assault. The lack of care in establishing a plausible self-blame scenario didn't either.

I still have many open questions, including Lily the Veiled's tribe. Also, I love the contrast between Scarlet's competence and confidence. Eagerly looking forward to more.

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Wait.. what!?

Okay i want this story! This is, unexpected but I can very much see Gilds being muscle like that, but damn how'd they hook up?

Though guessing that wasn't who she was talking about.

We'll probably have more to chat about later but I do want to clarify: yes, she is talking about Gilda the griffon. As in that Gilda.

The reason? As Perique is to Cynewulf, Gilda is to ChuckFinley. As for how they hooked up, it's another story.

First of all, I love the title for this story. It harkens back to the style of many mystery novels, Agatha Christie's in particular.

Have you based aspects of Scarlet Letter's personality on any specific literary detectives? I haven't read enough Mickey Spillane, Aforementioned Agatha, Dashiell Hammet, Raymond Chandler, etc. etc. to form a plausible guess.

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If there's a specific fictional character she's based on, it's Ariadne Oliver. In that I tried to do with her the same thing Christie did with Oliver in her stories.

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There are also some aspects of her personality that seem neurodivergent, if you allow me the expression. In her scene with Redheart, she feels anxious, and doubtful about how to act, about what would be appropriate. And her doubts are not about how to make a better impression, not about how to better influence Redheart. They are real doubts, because she is really feeling those emotions. And what hurts her most, the thing that almost makes her cry, are Redheart's accusations that she doesn't seem to care. I believe that her problem is that she doesn't know how to seem to care, even if she is really caring. Her further doubts about her introduction to Grant, and her need to confirm with her friend that she really acted correctly are further evidence of her neurodivergence. Maybe a small degree of Asperger.

I can sympathize with her troubles.

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What? Me? Write a character who expresses spectrum traits?

oh no i'd never do that.

(Yeah you're on the money. I won't ever name what's going on with Scarlet Letter, but she's very much expressing ND traits on purpose, and asperger's is definitely a good way of reading it).

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Oh she knows~ *eyebrow raise*

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Lily, the Veiled is a unicorn who traded away her own magic to wield the powers of an ancient magical artifact that extended her lifespan and has granted her limited ability to command crystal elementals. After the resurgence of the Crystal Empire she became a controversial character in the lore due to the revelation that King Sombra was a real, actual figure, and the backstory of her abilities was slightly tweaked to make them less connected. Her first appearance was in Ashmouth, a gothic horror set, where she used her crystalline powers to supply necromantic energy and summon the Stein Stitchers.

(I have literal pages of notes about Conjure: The Meeting in the back of my mind)

"in already, Nurse Redheart"
"already; Nurse" or "already. Nurse"?

"which was a harder ask for pegasus ponies"
"task"?

"run! Run and be"
"Run! Run and be"?

"kinda.. Some kinda"
"kinda... Some"?

"and doesn't mind care if"
Were both "mind" and "care" meant to be there?

"Scarlet around to her flank"
Is there a verb missing?

"Conjure: The Meeting"
In the first chapter, it was "Conjure the Meeting"; should one of them be changed?

For Clockwork Society neophytes like me, here are guides to the meaning of different collar colors and styles and safety bells.

Ooh, this is getting interesting.

I'm really enjoying the MtG references too.

Kinky mystery fic with well explored sexual themes, detailed and quirky characters, and emergent natural world building? oh you are a rare breed of writer I do NOT find often enough! Faved and followed!

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There are some good Clocktower stories. They require a bit of belief suspension, of course, but if you can keep that up they can be pretty fun. Terra Nova was decent, and I enjoyed the one with Colortura.

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D O M I N A N T' S C R E E D

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*takes notes*

The game is afoot! Or would it be 'ahoof'? Either way, we have us a mystery, and a rather serious one at that, now how will our plucky detective solve the crime? Who would do something so against every last thing the Society stands for? How much kinky, kinky fun will we get to see? Let's find out!

Scarlet waited anxiously outside the door to the hospital room,

Guessing Floral's, they did say she was being treated, but also said nothing had happened, so just in for observation/testing/safety? Plus likely some counseling and therapy. Which brings up a question... Would Starsong be handling that, or tracking down the culprit more? Though Hospital? Transfer her out of the Society?

absolutely swarming with Clocktower Society members who would be well-trained to help her recover from the shock she was going through

So, they have a usual hospital they contract and have staffed with their ponies to help deal with stuff to big for them alone and that needs this sort of care? Also, yeah, help her deal with this and keep her safe.

Ponyville General.

Ah! that makes sense....

Too easy.

Well, ponies on the whole do seem to be very trusting, they keep falling for Flim and Flam after all. So yeah, easy enough to get a good cover story and have them trust you. On the other hoof, given what she just went through, and the situation, would expect at the least there to be a few Tower Guards with her to make sure who ever did this doesn't try something.

. "Lonely" was what happened when you got tired of being alone, opened your door to go look for company, and realized just how few ponies actually cared whether you were there in the first place.

Must.... hug... sad pony......

Scarlet didn't feel the need to open that door very often, and didn't care to think of what that said about her.

And again, this is just, so well crafted, so well spoken, says so much.. and just makes me want to give her a big hug!

Nurse Redheart sighed.

Ah, yeah no need for Tower Guards when you have her nearby..... Now might be a good time to run, but doubt you'll get far.

Seduce the nurse? Maybe but that would likely involve her ending up in worse trouble than she was in already, Nurse Redheart knew how to use a cane.

I'd be more concerned that she knows how to use a hypodermic, and has access to all KINDS of fun medical tools. Also watching Scarlet trying to seduce somepony would be hilarious.

Best bet, just be honest.

"Ummmm....."

did you actually think this plan through

Doesn't seem that way. Still looking more and more like her and Dresden are meant to team up.

that discarding a solution as "too easy" was a great way to fail to solve a puzzle.

Yup, sometimes the easiest way IS the right one. Also a reason for the 50/50/90 issue. That smart people will, on average, when given a 50/50 choice, talk themselves OUT of the right answer 90% of the time. (yes the is being hyperbolic.)

the last three times you lied your way in here to talk to a patient either.

Ah, so nopony bought it, they just know her and play along. Still, shows how dedicated she is to getting the answer, and also good show of how little she thinks things through about how it can effect ponies, just looking at the hard facts she needs to find.

That said, yeah.... don't think the way she is likely to question the mare might work well, this is a situation that really needs a delicate touch.

The noise she made instead was a stifled sniffle, if that.

Awwwww Poor Pony!!!! No make Pony sad! But still, again, great emotion and, it makes sense, works well. She really is trying to do the right thing, does care, in her own way, but just, doesn't quite get it, and being lectured about how big a screw up she is for not getting it...

Been there, done that....

You've done this one too many times,

So three is the limit? Good to know.

What bothers me is you don't seem to care."

OKay, chill the buck out Redheart! She does care just.. doesn't really think things through fully or really 'get' the whole 'interacting normally with ponies' thing to see what is going on. Now stop making sad pony sad!

She'd left it hanging, it was definitely a trick question. Was it the kind of trick question you were supposed to answer? That was harder.

I'm with her..... buck those types of things....

"It's that I'm going to let you get away with it anyway."

Let's see.... because despite that, she does know Scarlett cares in her own way, but doesn't quite get the nuances. But also likely, because Scarlett is just that damn good at solving things and Redheart wants to make sure this gets solved?

your questions do end up getting things found out that much faster.

That one was obvious.

"Because Floral Fragrance is my friend."

Ah, personal connection, and a dependent clause to the first one, not it's own separate reason. But she gets it done faster, and Redheart wants it DONE!

she turned on her hoof and marched away,

That said.... maybe you should stick with her? Just in case?

Still this was a great exchange, Redheart taking no shit, being smart enough to not buy this, stern, calling Scarlett out on things she really should not be doing (if a but harsher then needed and failing to take into account WHY Scarlett acts like that) but being reasonable overall and seeing the value in this. Though, this also does not say good things about Redhearts opinion of the guards looking into this. But on the other hoof, every bit helps.

When she was about thirty percent satisfied she wouldn't start crying,

Because of course she renders this down to numbers.

......... totally don't do that myself sometimes.....

speaking to the amount of care she must have put into maintaining it.

Or the Den Mothers that helped her recover fixed it to try and soothe her and make her feel better.

Marks just above her forehooves, deep scratches. Scarlet knew what welts from a crop or cane looked like, and these were different.

Restraint marks? The hoofbands are supposed to prevent those, being safe locations to attach restraints to. So, also ignore those and just tie her hooves directly? Or injuries she got fighting back?

sleepless nights, which made sense.

"nights"? How? How long ago was this? Didn't Scarlett start doing this the next day after the night it happened? So how would she have had sleepless 'nights' unless whatever she'd gone through lasted way longer then we thought. Not sure if story is just being a bit hyperbolic and exaggerating for the sake of giving an idea, or this is meant as a clue.

help Nurse Redheart hate her a little less.

Now now, I don't think she HATES you really.... is upset at and exasperated at sure, but 'hate'?

"A friend. I think."

I like how she has to qualify that. Both that she's uncertain of this, and also has to be as precise as she can be.

she should have sent her instead.

Eh, but at the same time, you can notice little clues, pick up threads others might miss, and the exact way she says things, little bits of body language, might say a lot more. Still, would be good to have her here as well.

the griffon who found you

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Oh... wait, already talked about this and it's not Gregor.......... If not for that, damn you would have been getting my hopes up, and so would have been sure it was him. (Still, given the only reason it wasn't him was because you wanted the finder to be a potential suspect, and you didn't think anyone (at least reader wise) would ever suspect him for a moment is quite a good sign. Glad he came off as just that damn morally sound and decent.)

"How did you know he was a griffon?"

Also a good question, did she check out some reports first? She had to have poked into some files and asked around to find out where Floral was being kept.

She pointed to Floral's forehooves, indicating the marks.

OH!, Marks from the griffon clawing the restraints off of her in a hurry?

Plus, I've been dating a griffon for a few years now."... Gilda

Wait.... what!? She's DATING Gilda!? Perique was literal about 'other half'? I just figured it was a business deal. But, if that's the case then, what's going on between Scarlett and Perique if Gilda is the one she's dating and her 'other half'? Now I'm all confused.

really remember anything from last night,

Okay so it was only one night and the story was just lapsing into a bit of hyperbole to describe how she looked.

and it might take time for everything to come back. If it even does.

Narratively convenient. Of course, be far to easy and no real mystery if she knew everything. And repressing trauma like that is a common enough thing. Though.... they did do a full tox-screen right? Make sure she wasn't slipped something that would mess with her short term memory?

Grant

See above... sad it's not Gregor, but very very happy for the reason it's not him. But hey, looks like we're setting up a pattern of Griffons just being stand out, upstanding Doms. Which makes sense given the lore so far about CTS Griffonia. Having a lot less subs to go around makes them treasure and take very very good care of those they do have.

in the Borderlands

Hmmm, which section of it? For something like this, I'm assuming most likely Ruins, followed by Wastelands.

wondered if it was because of the quality of information she'd just been given.

Well, fair enough. It's not a whole lot of help and not really anyplace you could start from, or giving any major details that could be useful. But you never know.

"I think I know who the culprit is, and even if you could prove it there's not much you, or anypony else can do."

!? So, somepony that had a personal issue with her? Guessing influential, but.. NOPONY is THAT influential or above being dealt with. Especially when it's something that is going to piss Luna right the fuck off, even if most ponies might shy from dealing with him, like ANYTHING is going to stop the Princess of the Night from protecting her little ponies. Or like CTS itself wouldn't deal with them, no matter who they are. Hell, they'd kick one of the Princesses right the hell out for shit like that.

Though on another note, having her call him 'the culprit' just sounds, kind of odd given how stunned and out of it she is meant to be. It sounds a bit to dispassionate and perfectly crafted. To precise a wording. If I were really really digging into things, that, plus her convenient lack of details and let, just so happening to have an idea who it was, would make me suspect the it was possible she set this up herself, possibly either for attention, or given this bit, to try and frame somepony else.

It was enough to make a detective weep.

Or be highly suspicious, see above. Yes, don't just toss out an answer for being 'too easy' but at the same time, don't accept it blindly either if it really does feel too easy.

"It's me."

Okay... was NOT expecting that..... I mean, obviously with the above I was open to her as a suspect, but was not expecting her to admit it, or to say she thought she did it to herself. Was not suspecting it in this fashion. Though does explain why she didn't think anypony could do anything if she suspected she was self harming.. without even being in control of it. Though still, plenty they can and would do, just nothing punishment wise. Plenty in making sure you got help wise though.

They said my bell had its enchantments intact, right? It should've rung even if it was silenced then.

Okay, not sure it works that way. The enchantment pretty much just makes sure it's only rung if you will it to ring. It would still need the physical ability to ring. Guessing it also has some amplification magic to make it ring out a lot louder and clearer then a bell that size should, but if it still relies on a physical mechanism to cause the initial vibrations,or even if the magic is the spell itself causing the shell to vibrate to make the sound, being stuffed with something as vibration dampening as cloth would still screw it up. Though how the PipSub is messed up, but not the bell is a bigger question.

"That's stupid," Scarlet said before she could help herself.

Lot blunter then I'd put it, but yes.

"That's stupid. Who gave you that idea? They must not have been paying attention."

Well, in this case.... blunt and direct could help. Still, directing the 'stupid' at others and not her, good call.

it's certainly possible for you to be the culprit. I just don't see it being plausible.

Ehhhh, unwitting, trying to harm herself type culprit, no. Trying to pull a Munchhausen's or set up somepony else, not ruling that out as plausible.

You had no reason to sabotage your own bell, since the enchantments would have kept it from ringing if you didn't want it to.

See above, to set herself up as clearly a victim.

I know what gags are. Was it a ring? Bit? Ball? Muzzle, cleave?"

REALLLY gotta be specific around here.

That proves there's at least one other pony involved in this story.

Not really, she could have just grabbed it from one of the private rooms, I'm sure there are any number of places a pony could find basic stuff like that just laying around for the taking.

"Tell me, do you know the real name of any of the doms you've played with recently?"

Don't most of them use their real names? We.. haven't actually seen any Doms using anything but their real names, or anypony really. At most it's slaves using their 'Slave ID' which is still based on their real name. Aside from those few with special permission to assume a different ID for very, very good reason for wanting to remain anonymous. I just figured having to use real names and not pretend to be others without permission was required for safety/security reasons.

The batpony extended her wing, drawing Scarlet in closer.

If she is pressed that tight against her side, wouldn't she be pressed right onto the wing preventing it from extending? If the wing was already out, how would extending it, pushing it away from Perique, draw Scarlett closer to her?

"...I meant that so many ponies connected to the case would live so close to us,"

Not really, given just how many Society members live in Ponyville.

"Wait, Floral living here came as a surprise to you?"

I'm with her, how would any member living in Ponyville some as a surprise?

There's just so many more reasons to hate your neighbor than to hate an acquaintance at your sex club.

Hmmmm, makes sense. Have a more personal motive to it. Doesn't rule out the latter being the case, but the former is more likely.

Scarlet sometimes wondered if friendship wasn't some kind of cruel game that normal, acceptable ponies played with each other just to drive home how little they cared about anyone outside their circle—or so they'd have an excuse to hurt each other when things went wrong.

........ wow. Somepony needs some one on one time with the Princess of Friendship. STAT! I do get the train of thought there, and it ties in well with her outlook and personality so far, and I so get that feeling and.. yeah been there. But still, Twilight, we need a friendship intervention ASAP!

Ponyville was a growing community

Between all the world changing things that have happened there in the last few years, plus being the location of the newest Princess? Yeah I figure Ponyville's been growing really fast.

Even so, it was rather unusual to see a house with a rowboat sticking out of the attic window.

This is a town that has PINKIE PIE! And yet... yeah.... that is weird even by THOSE standards....

On the other hand, it was fairly common to meet pegasi who could bench you and your entire family.

Yes, but we've seen EP's that are able to pull an entire house behind them, while pronking, and barely notice it, and toss rocks hard enough to create a nuclear rocksplosion, without even seeming to have to try. Still giving EP's an edge in just being naturally stronger and tougher. But yes, it's an on average, and there will always be ponies all over the spectrum. But non-Ep's would likely have to work harder at it.

probably one of several.bad days by the looks of things.

Random period. Also, so, others already come question him?

"I'm.... I'm sorry. It's been—anyway, come inside."

That was some fast thinking, and.. good call there, the sudden change..... he's worried about her then, not pissed or upset and being a suspect, if he even knows he might be. (Thought wouldn't the guards investigating this have asked about contacts as well? What are they doing with all this?) But just, worried and stressed over somepony he cares about being hurt?

And halfway-ish point, stop here, let you digest this chunk before going on. LOVING THIS! so far, and the mystery is barely started, but already so many details set up, so much great stuff, and a lot to think about and consider. As evidenced by just how much I've already had to say, and those are just first thoughts. This is looking like one hell of a great mystery, but getting late so, yeah post this first half, try to get the second half done tomorrow. LOVING IT!

8409701 *cough* CTS Luna Saga *cough* shamelessselfpromotion

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The only thing I would remove is Scarlet having a romantic relationship with Gilda. She seems so devoted to Perique I just don't see her as being into polyamory.

Yeeeaahhh that did feel really really weird.

And so another genre joins the collection: mystery, and a good one so far. Keep it up.

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Wait.... what!? She's DATING Gilda!? Perique was literal about 'other half'? I just figured it was a business deal. But, if that's the case then, what's going on between Scarlett and Perique if Gilda is the one she's dating and her 'other half'? Now I'm all confused.

Yeeeaahhh that did feel really really weird.

As someone actually in a polyamorous relationship, the fact that I'm head over heels for my girlfriend doesn't mean I love my fiance any less - and vice versa. This is one of those things where I'd absolutely disagree, in part because it relies on the idea that you can't have intense feelings of love and devotion for more than one person at a time.

8410595 It's less the facts don't work, as yes that is perfectly possible for things to be like that, as it is the presentation of it narrativly for me, and just coming up like that, after how she was last chapter. As with some of my issue with that, it's the change in perception of her causing some mental gear stripping from how sudden it feels. This one nowhere near as extreme but still enough to, as you saw, make me go 'wait, what?'

Plus it being Gilda just adds an extra 'whoa... what?' factor of trying to parse the mental image of her dating somepony.

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Gilda's not in the current Scarlet Letter story, but I plan to show the two of them together for the next one I write.

As for the sell, just noting that sticking point on presentation or not, polyamory doesn't get negated by the level of devotion to one partner or another.

8410644 Not saying it does, my 'wait, what' was pretty much just on how it was presented in story causing a quick bit of mental transmission slippage. Now you need to write more stories because.... Gilda!? Relationship!? This I have got to see.

Commence part two!

Scarlet's Further Notes on High Tide:

Yeah, these are really starting to grow on me.

but to be honest between the name, the boat, and the scars around his hooves I'd say less "like" and more "definitely is".

Yeah, that one goes in the 'ya think' pile.

Scarlet's Addendum to Further Notes: Next time, bring hangover remedy..

If he's dealing with a hangover, and doesn't already have his own remedies, or isn't able to just ignore it... he ain't really a sailor.

unusual for a largely-vegetarian community like Ponyville

Fishing ships used to catch fish for trade with Griffons?

"I've been... bad, the last few days."

"Few days"? So is this another slip like the 'sleepless nights' or a clue? Given this all happened last night.

"You must have taken the news rather hard,"

Going by the lack of calling him out on he just outright said something went wrong before this incident happened...

and she didn't want to see Perique have to wrestle him.

Who knows, you might end up finding out you like watching your Mistress all hot and sweaty and grunting like that.

"The news? The—aye, the news,"

oookay, another hint that this wasn't the crime that set him off at first, but is Scarlett going to catch that?

I'll find him and—I'll fucking kill him!

Get in line.

Also, no, just no. That is a very, very bad idea. If he's dead.... he can't suffer for what he did.

"There's no need for such strong language—"

Heh, you haven't spent much time around sailors, have you? That is polite conversation levels of profanity for us.

"Fuck the bastard right up his skull, that's what I'll do! Keelhaul him, rip his guts out, feed 'em to the sharks!"

Brutal, but nah. Ohhhh very good idea. Well, maybe just, slit him open and trawl him behind the ship. (And no I didn't say kill him first.)

"We're landlocked."

So? I'm sure Fluttershy can find a shark or two for you easy enough. And we know Twilight can teleport to some large body of water from here.

"She's my sub, he had no right..."

........ Oh really? I'm not liking this guy much, and this seals it. He's being just a bit overly harsh, and the way he's phrasing things, this pretty much confirms it. She's a Red Collar, she is not anyone's sub. Though seems this guy feels otherwise and is being far to possessive

Not to mention this.. this is making it about HIM, he's pissed because someone 'broke his toy' more or less it seems. He's pissed, but seemingly for, at least in part, the wrong reason. Given that, and he's on the list of Doms to check out, and that he's clearly been having issues before this happened, she not just roll over and agree to be his property? in the negative, this is NOT how you Dom way? Definitely something not to like here.

And yeah, he's drunk, but In Vino Veratas.

I thought it'd be that fucker Grant, but his mates all said he'd been deep in the Borderlands all night... and I guess it's his fucking thinking what saved her, so—"

One member being fucked up enough for this is bad enough, a bunch aiding as well? Yeah.. no. So he's got what seems to be an alibi. Also, the second bit, but, in theory at least, he could have staged it for the sake of saving her to make himself look like hero. Or set this up, and then had second thoughts, or not expected his 'mates' to be with him and so changed his plans. Still ways it might be him, but yeah he is waaay down the list somewhere around the 'it's a non-0 chance' level.

"We took dom classes at the same time.

That's not knowing him outside the Society. Not sure where that question came from either, given he's said nothing that would indicate he knows him at all, just repeating what would likely be in public reports on the incident.

Good kind of griffon, if you know what I mean

I do love how you can pretty much just swap out the name and this would be Gregor. Except I plan on him being from Manehatten, not Canterlot.

Scarlet almost snapped at "good kind of griffon"

[insert obligatory 'that's racist' comment] [also obligatory 'no, it's speciesist' comment]

Now I'm fuckin'... fuckin' gonna be out of the society if I do that again."

Ah, sooooo he got pissed at him, thought he had done something, confronted him... still doesn't explain the 'few days' bit. Guessing he's more drunk over that then Floral.

as soon as we know who's responsible, we'll talk to you."

Ummm, not smart.. at all. Talk to the authorities first, get the pony arrested and dealt with, then do that. Not do that first.

You can't imagine what it's like, being meant for the sea and having to live here. Can't even smell the ocean spray here.

Yeah, THAT can be quite rough. Though even with fishing trade drying up... moved trade routes or the griffons just getting stingy or something? Nothing at all you could do closer to water? Why would you move to the middle of the continent?

and doesn't mind care if you're bad at being gentle

I get what this is trying to say, that he tries his best at aftercare, but, isn't really good at it, and she's fine with that. But it is very awkwardly worded.

Yeah... yeah, I went down to visit once.

This just feels.. not well connected. Establishing this. The above, asking out of nowhere if he know the griffon outside of the Society, and getting nothing that said yes, then right into this, which is good and the attempt early said he knew, but how it got around to that was odd and a bit forced feeling.

"Last... played with?" HIgh Tide's face was blank. She might as well have asked him what color red was.

Oooookay, that is beyond odd. I'm in full Whiskey Tango Foxtrot mode on that one.

"Can't waste time on this. I'm worried they're in danger."

They who?

First off he's probably suffering untreated depression.

Seems likely. So are we just ignoring the whole 'few days' bit and how something was going on before the thing with Floral that might have tied into it somehow? Or, was that really just not supposed to mean anything?

Recreational salt use was quite legal in most of Equestria, and most salts gave you little more than a pleasant tingle. Rumor had it that if you found the right ponies, though, you could indulge in a lick that would send you halfway to your foalhood and back again before the high wore off.

Well... okay then. And all this from a one off joke way back in season 1. Still, okay so he's been drugged? Without knowing it? And, ones that screw up short term memory at that? Or, he's just high as a kite?

What bothers me is that he lied.

Ohhh so we DID catch the oddities in what he said?

...

And not going to let out what he said that was a lie? Story! Stop being a plot tease! So was it the whole 'few days' bit, or some of the other odd things?

"No. Tea."

"Tea?"

"Trust me. We'll need it."

Counter the salts? Or, just to get people talking?

Notes on Canterlot and its Citizens, by Perique:

Damn, would have preferred seeing Scarlet's far more blunt take on it.

Just as our little Ponyville is an "earth pony" town,

Ehhh not in exactly the same way. Yes it was founded by EP's, but at this point, seems to be the most evenly lived in place in Equestria as far as the three tribes living together goes. I'd say if you want 'the Earth Pony settlement" that would be Manehatten.

Here the sun rises not in the east nor does it set in the west, but all are ordered by our rulers.

Ummmm, yeeees, they do control it but... it still does those things. It's not like the sun itself has some odd relation to the orientation of the Canterhorn. The sun still rises and sets in the exact same way it does everywhere else in Equestria.....

Here the Moon sleeps in the morning and rises in the evening.

Well, ONLY if you are using "the moon" figuratively for Luna herself, and not the literal moon. Don't think the mountain is big enough to park that thing on, and it would be rather noticeable if it was there.

Have they forgotten the miracle of the sisters—or do they simply know it far deeper than those of us who live out of their immediate sight?

Ummm, not really seeing how this is all that different from any other place in the world. Hell for most ponies, it really wouldn't matter. the 'nobles' and upper class yeah, but only because they are in the city to try and suck up to power or be seen in a place of power etc...

I sometimes like to think Celestia uses Canterlot as a kind of containment area, to keep as many of those pompous, useless assholes busy doing nothing in the city, to keep them from getting int the way of the ponies that actually do shit that helps Equestria.

No, no no, please no, it's awful and maudlin—

Yeah... reiterating my above bit. Would have preferred Scaret's more direct, blunt responses. As you might guess, i am HORRIBLE at poetry, as I tend to prefer to take things as literally as possible with wording.

Canterlot was a noble's city rather than a college town,

City... containment vessel.... tomato-potato

and its students had to live somewhere

Well, it could just be a boarding school that has dorms on premise.

"You're sure this is the place?" Perique asked as the two approached one such new building.

"My sources never lie.

Okay this, took me a few reads to get right. The way it's phrased, it seems like Scarlet is telling Perique that this is the place her sources told her to go to, leaving a 'wait what?' about what sources, when, how did she talk to them, what went on off panel? Now rereading the whole thing, this is where her source IS in the first place, but that leaves the question, why would she say her sources never lie in regards to being asked, if this is the place to ask one of her sources? Just, seems a bit oddly worded for what it's trying to say.

"We're from the Society, are you doing okay and can you help us solve a mystery?"

Wait, no.... they already talked to the source and this is where they were told to go? That raises more questions, like why would Perique wait till now to ask if Scarlet was sure about this, rather then back when they got the information in the first place, or even when scarlet told her of her plan to ask Lemon? Waiting till just before they knock seems a bit pointless and needlessly delayed. Definitely comes off like trying to shoehorn in some exposition, which is kind of what it is, to explain skipping the scene of getting Grant's address, which given this is a detective story, could have just been summarized in narration rather then the awkward questioning.

It's ginseng

Does it really sing?

"Did I do that right? I think I did that right. Right?"

Perique nodded. "Absolutely you did that right."

d'awwwwwwwww. Alright, that whole bit was adorable!

dexterous though they might be, pony hooves were really not meant to grasp the little loops on these mugs and teacups

1. That' why you just grab the thing whole between them
2. Also why I go with pony having a low grade tactile Telekinesis effect.

As he tilted it back to his beak his whole foreleg, talon upwards, began to tremble slightly.

So, the salts? or whatever else she was worried about him over?

You've been nervous since a few days ago, I'd guess

Wait so the story IS saying ti's been a few days since then? How long did it take her to get started on this? But no, back in the talk with Floral, Scarlet very, very specifically says 'last night', so it couldn't have been 'a few days' it's not even been 24 hours yet.

you'd already jumped on her right? I saw the claw marks near her hooves.

Oh, so grabbed her legs and scratched them by being kind of rough? Alright, not what I assumed, but that works.

Knowing how close you came to being a criminal must have been nerve-wracking,

Not really a criminal in that case, doing something he'd regret and feel shitty about, something that would really really fuck him up for doing, yes. But hard to see anypony being held criminally responsible for this given the circumstances.

I can imagine you've spent some nights wondering if anypony else you played with was in a similar position

1. Here we see the true insidious, fucked upedness of this, as it undermines so much saftey and trust in the Society and in the members, makes them doubt themselves, doubt things, second guess, it's screwing with things on such a grand scale..
2. How would he have spent 'some nights' wondering this, if it happened, last night?

and now suddenly you find out that some guy from your sex club is bringing up your name in connection with a near-rape. Yeah. I'd be terrified too

Yeah, having in Society stuff getting brought up IRL is going to freak some people out, especially stuff like that. Going to be hard to really make a case publicly about this, given so much that is meant to be secret. This is when having the Princess on hoof to handle things helps quite a lot.

"What? What gave you that idea? I catch blackmailers, I don't engage in it myself!"

Iove this. She really is just trying to show she understands, and lay out the facts to establish a common frame of reference. Just trying to set him at ease that she understands, but yeah the way she's doing it, really does feel like somepony setting up for blackmail.

Also alright we are into him not feeling at all like Gregor. Though this brings up a question, what ARE the CTS authorities doing during all this, haven't they talked to them?

who I'm like eighty-one percent certain is doing something entirely legal back home and can't be with us

my point is she's perfect.

This is GILDA we are talking about? Right? GILDA!? Perfect!? ....... does not compute.... error... error.... commentator.exe has ceased working, please reboot.......

And she's hung out with me before.

Okay, this is type of wording that really makes me go 'wait, what?" Why would you ever need to specific your marefreind has 'hung out with you' that.. pretty well implicit in being your marefreind. That she doen'st seem to see it like this is, beyond odd.

Scarlet had begun to feel a moderately warm and somewhat fuzzy feeling of kinship with Grant.

D'awwwwwwwwww.

"Well... crud," Scarlet sighed.

Got nothing helpful at all from him?

at no point had anything concrete about the case revealed itself.

Of course not. At least you all had fun though.

I didn't even know Floral's name until you two told me.

Wut? how would he not have been told this? How would the ponies questioning him about this not have used it? They were posting the name all over asking if anypony had seen her, did nopony even talk to him about this? That he wouldn't have found that out, or even asked about it out of concern given he found her... that is very hard to buy and making it feel like CTS isn't even doing any of the most basic investigating.

the borderlands

Caps missing.

and i wanted to

Same here.

"I've played in the Borderlands before. Had you not been there..."

Yeah, that was very lucky... and he did it right. But, as has been established, there are some real fucking ASSHOLES that hang out there....

Asking permission felt strange considering she was going to come back anyway, but there was something pleasant about Grant.

Again, d'awwwwwwwwww

"We could all play strip Conjure."

... how the buck does that work?

"I don't wear clothes."

"You'll have an excuse."

Exactly and, well okay then. Could be fun.

Ponies who claimed griffons were all grumpy, greedy bastards clearly hadn't spent enough time with griffons.

Or they did, but it was the ones stuck in Griffonstone. Really does seem to be more a cultural issue then a racial one. Griffonstone is just an utter shithole.

I'm not even into toms,

into The Overmare Studios?

OHHHHHHH, Male Griffon.

"Coming, mama!" Scarlet called in spite of herself.

"Mama?"

"Don't you dare judge,"

He's in CTS.. I'm sure he's used to this by now.

"Floral! You played with her before, right? She'd been in the borderlands other times, before last time!"

AH, so he knew her, but just casually. And if she's been in there before, enough to be recognized, it would make Doms less likely to suspect something, since they'd know her, or know enough to knew she's into this. Not fully sure what she meant by 'I figured it out".

, I think if I'm right this all makes perfect sense!

Hmmmm, so, what did you figure out then?

We just have to go confirm—the train!"

Well, can't you just use the portal from Canterlot to CEE, and then walk home from there?

"...What was that all about?"

Good question.

So yeah this is still really really good, and the mystery is evolving. the one fairly decent issue, is timing. This is taking place the day after it happened, but everything is treating it like ti's been several days, which makes things feel very off and confusing. Like the above thinking it meant something was being hidden through the word choice to make it seem like a few days.

Still see where this goes from here, loving it so far!

Okay, side characters are colorful and we continue getting to know Scarlet. The "griffon-(girl)fried" thing she's pulling out a couple times seems like a bit of an eye roll-inducing trait, especially in combination with/contrast to her response to the "one of the good ones" thing. But what can I say--it's not like that's an unrealistic characteristic, and it rounds her out a bit as a quirk that's something other than charming.

On the plot, sad to say so far I'm mostly along for the ride. Hopefully I'll start catching up to Scarlet next chapter.

Still my most favorited story everrrrrrrrrrrr.

Wait, Floral is Perique's neighbor? But she didn't appear to recognize her name (or description) when the den mother asked about her yesterday.

8441300
She was actually freaking out at the time for undisclosed reasons.