A young human finds himself in Equestria, lost, not in body, but in purpose as he attempts to belong in the alien world. A mare, devoid of a destiny, seeks to end it all. Can these two stray souls find meanining in each other? Can they find more?
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Wow, I think I'm early..
Anyways, for where to go, it's possible that you're blocking because you're only looking one way.
I mean, anything could happen.
Elements of harmony met in library or what have you,
Floor messes up big time, learns new lesson, start back into a weird situation
Granny falls in love with some old guy from town/goes on a rampage for [insert reason here]
.. Y'know. In this type of story, I'm sure even fillers could be enjoyable. Think of the pacing, ect, ect.
... It feels odd seeing the eye icon with the number 15 on it
So the reason Floor had to be all sneaky in reading the book is that Anon kept talking about how juvenile and obvious the lessons presented were, and it made her feel embarrassed that she didn't know them?
Why does the panties in the picture say ‘Anon’?
They pre-ordered for him :3
You obviously want things to become cringy and embarrassing, but also hopeful for Florb.
Perfect!
You can move the story forward by having Floor earn a cutie mark, either for her art or some other talent. Then she kisses Anon in the heat of the moment.
Anon is dense so floor will have to initiate, or mess up that makes it obvious
First, I love it! Love the story and where you're taking it so far.
Second, if you want a different perspective, this is kind of how I imagined the scene for the 'catalyst' to go:
- Floor comes to a head in her own issues with not having a cutie mark because of some dealing with other ponies thing or depression
- Anon sits her down and reassures her she's fine just the way she is
- Floor doesn't really buy it
- Anon gives her a heartfelt speech about how humans rarely ever find their 'purpose in life' as opposed to ponies who find it at a very young age usually.
- One line that stuck out to me in my head when running this scenario was "I'm just as lost here as you are"
- Emotional moment and bonding
And then you have a launch point to continue wherever you wanna take it. Whether that be platonic or romantic.
Take that for what you will. It's just my own mini head-canon of one potential instance from how you've written the story so far. It does seem to me that the main issue plaguing Anon and Floor is that there's a lack of communication in key parts of their relationship. Or miscommunication. And I understand this can be a literary tool, and might be entirely intentional, but it's the thing that I see as holding back the progression more than anything. The moment where Floor asked Anon if he liked Page Turner broke this and really helped to progress the story an I really liked that part.
Anyways, hope that's at the very least interesting to you even if it's entirely useless for your story. Either way, I look forward to seeing how you pull it all together.
One sided, eh? If only you knew!
Agreed.
Bath whore... fimfic sentence of the year lol
The mental image of Floor going 'ninja' with a pair of panties over her face is adorably awful.
For an ending I think it could work if there were some conflict that they would need to overcome together, something that makes it clear that they are better off as a pair. Perhaps something comes up which would mean Anon has to move out; like a way for him to return to the human universe? A fire at the old-pony home that means granny has to stay for a week while the building is repaired; so either Anon has to move out to make room or deal with the awkwardness of living with Floor & granny? Floor somehow earns a cutie mark and loses her NEET subsidy but is still a lost soul and needs Anon's support to find employment?
It would be nice if they end up together and this somehow sets both of them up for a brighter future... beyond having someone/pony to bump uglies with.
How about have a few chapters that lead to romance and Floor finding her cutiemark? There is nothing wrong with a true happy ending sometimes :)
If it were me, I'd be all over that. Lots of nibbling involved, too.
Great story so far!
Some ideas to help with writer's block:
After some triggering event (Random creature attacks ponyville and Floor/Anon get caught up in it, mean trolls on the internet, Anon is needed elsewhere for a few days, apartment damage due to years of filth is found and requires fixing, or Gramgram moves in for a week due to some issue at the elderly home as others have recommended), Floor comes up to anon, stares for an awkwardly long amount of time until anon asks what's up, at which point Floor admits her love and immediately runs off and hides (Just like with my first crush! ... I am a sad individual). Anon mishears it because floor speaks too fast, so just shrugs it off at the time. Only later does he discover the drawings when they spill out while he is cleaning. Perhaps even in separate chapters.
There's still plenty of room for filler chapters with more awkward interactions between chapters that actually move the end goal of the story forward. Those are a huge draw to this fic tbh. Also great work capturing anon/Floor's different perspectives in general!
Some ideas:
Fumigator comes in to remove termites or something, so Floor and Anon stay at Fluttershy's place. Floor doesn't quite grok nature, being so near the Everfree forest.
Floor, trying to be sneaky, crawls around the ventilation system to avoid meeting Twilight Sparkle or some other public figure in her apartment when they stop by to say hi to Anon. She ends up falling through a taped up spot in the vent, getting stuck in the wall like a cat.
Anon tries to drag Floor out to get a haircut, replacement light bulbs/fire alarm batteries or some other errand
Anon needs to use the computer to do some paperwork/pay some bills/order replacement parts for the sink, Floor desperately tries to delete all trace of certain... internet activities before he gets in her room. She doesn't get everything, but anon pretends not to notice to avoid embarrassing Floor
Floor and Anon Forever and Forever 100 years!
Dude you've already made this an fic amazing and everyone likes I don't think you gotta worry about what comes next just do you!
I kinda want a bedending here like a foreshadow from chapter one but anon fails to get to her in time and well the rest should be interesting. Also great story man loving every chapter.
Thanks for the update. I'd like Anon to somehow get a clue that Floor "likes" him likes him. I like a couple ideas presented earlier but maybe combined? Perhaps Anon needs to order something and he uses Floor's computer. He sees the titles of a couple of browser tab titles and they're all about how to woo a stallion. Later on whatever he's ordered is delivered but needs a pen to sign for it (let's say the driver's pen runs out of ink). He rummages through Floor's computer desk drawer for a pen and finds Floor's drawings. Or better yet; he spots a three panel strip of Floor presenting Anon with a gift (or flowers), Anon sweeping floor off her hooves and then them making out like horny teenagers. Anon goes through a mental 1 (internet history) + 1 (drawings/comic strip) = Anon+Floor . Some mutual spaghetti spilling happens, etc., etc.
8511695
I would think so too, but all I could imagine was hentai kamen
tome*
Something with Grandma and the kissy drawings, perhaps Anon having a "Eureka!" moment or the granny tells him how Floor feels outright, or implies it heavily enough that he(eventually) realises it himself, or some combination of the above.
Or bring in another character, or a new location, circus(love tunnel? lmao), a hike in the wilderness, a park, etc.
really good fic, though not sure why i had found this gem in the adopt a human group O.o
As a Anon I approve this!! plus I want the fuck Floor
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it's all in the switches. They almost uniformly use the same trash. So, newly bought mice won't last long. They are intentionally designed to break.
The mouse already uses the perfect solution: light gate.
I think Anon should find the kissy drawings in Floor's drawer, and realize her feelings for him, and act on that.
Also If You're still in Need Of An Editor, I'll Gladly Do It. There Are Some typos and other Things throughout The Story.
Just Let Me Know.
8529996
Not to be an asshole, but for an editor, you sure do have a lot of random capitalization going on there.
Forgot to capitalize.
Well I'm hooked I'm checking back every single day even though I know it's going to take a lot longer than that to finish this this is going to be one of those things I torture myself over as I constantly wait for the next chapter
I'M going to read this tomorrow, even if I wish once again, that Anon had a name.
Still nice but the story starts to feel like to fell like ir dismissed the former story idea and is concentrating on "how to get in your pants" now.