A short lapse in communication was all it took for Blueblood to take his leave, swiftly and deliberately trotting through the door, leaving the two princesses in an uneasy silence.
When Celestia turned to Twilight, she found her wistfully staring into Blueblood's empty cup, likely still contemplating all that she had heard.
Celestia's caring and beseeching tone cut through the silence. "Twilight... Please listen to me."
Twilight turned to regard her. Her eyes were glossy, the fur beneath her eyelids was damp. "Are you really going to let this happen, Celestia?"
Celestia hated to see her student and friend so upset and bewildered. She opened her mouth to speak but was swiftly cut off.
"Did I not do enough for you? For Equestria? I took on my role as a princess, I defended our country when no one else could, I returned your sister to you... And now this? You dubbed me Princess of Friendship, I-I thought that meant I was meant to bring love and happiness to other ponies, not be a—" she squeezed her eyes shut, appearing to be wrestling with the concept. A single tear seeped through her closed lids. "...a pawn in your political games?"
Celestia's face hardened. "Twilight, hear what I have to say before you—"
"Don't look at me like that!" Twilight snapped, suddenly defensive, "I haven't done anything wrong! I've only tried to help you and Equestria, and now?! And now—"
"I have no intentions of you and Blueblood's marriage being permanent," Celestia stated, her tone clear and soothing.
This seemed to knock the wind out of Twilight. "Y-you don't?" she sniffled, suddenly still.
"In fact, I implore you to fight this ruling at every opportunity. It is not just. At the time of this archaic law's conception, the national climate was much different to what it is now. Many things have changed, and what was once considered a necessity is now nothing more than simple barbarism; this is but a tactic for the Royal Council and their affiliates to strengthen their positions."
As Celestia gauged Twilight's reaction –relief appearing to gradually emanate from her– she noticed that it was quickly offset by something she identified in her prized student far too often, a spark of realisation.
"If that's the case, why didn't you tell us this when Blueblood was in the room? In fact, why didn't he seem to care?"
Celestia sighed, stepping closer to Twilight and lifting her in her magic, setting her down on a luscious pillow. "The situation is complicated, to say the least. Suffice to say that Blueblood is by no means happy about this union, but if the council have willed it he is unlikely to oppose it directly."
Twilight's head tilted from where she sat, still shaking off the familiar, comforting feeling of Celestia’s magic. "Why not? He has every right to, doesn't he?"
"To be frank, Twilight, the position Blueblood holds is tenuous, much like mine. Of course, the power at my disposal is immense, but there are other factors at play. Unfortunately, the strongest does not always win, and this is a prime example of that.” Celestia began to softly pace before Twilight, her hooves landing with little force, as if her energy had been sapped.
“When you live to see my age, as I'm sure you will, you come to realise that there is more than one way to fight, and ofttimes the least trodden path is the most fruitful. I cannot oppose this decision directly as I have to be seen to be cooperating with the council and attempting to facilitate a stable future for Equestria. If I was to go against the voices of so many, it could lead to turmoil. You must understand, Twilight, that power only exists as long as other ponies give it to you. While you may trust me without question due to our shared history, I do not have such connections with the common pony."
Twilight slowly nodded. "Explain one thing though: Why does it have to be us? You said you were unable, but what does that mean, exactly? Plus, with Cadence and Shining Armour—"
"I went through menopause roughly six hundred years ago," Celestia interjected, her eyes focused on the floor, "And Luna and I have agreed that foals would not be good for her health. We worry that the stress of motherhood might give rise to serious depression, and that the consequences would be catastrophic. As for Cadence..." Celestia scowled, uncomfortable with the words she was about to say.
When she spoke, it was with a snarl. "Cadence is feared for what she has birthed. A natural born alicorn is unheard of in history, and a large element of the reason for this union is that alicorns are precisely what are trying to be avoided. Because Cadence is the only alicorn to have ever given birth to an alicorn, while so many others have tried in the past, the council is reluctant for her to have any more foals, they believe Cadence’s ability to birth alicorns to be an anomaly, statistically she should be one in a billion,” Celestia’s eyes narrowed, “In other words, the council wishes to see royal foals that aren’t Flurry Heart."
Twilight's eyes hardened, she too appeared upset by the prospect. "Why would anypony want to avoid alicorns?"
"To put it simply, they are feared. We are feared, that is. In the last Equestrian census, there was a twelve percent swing in favour of the monarchy being disbanded. Luna is the sole reason. The population is fickle, many ponies hadn't even heard of the mare in the moon until Luna's return, yet when I embraced her as my sister and allowed her to retake her rightful place alongside me, ponies quickly educated themselves, to varying levels of success." With this, Celestia ceased in her movements, looking at Twilight squarely.
"From what I can tell, more and more ponies are beginning to distrust my judgment as a ruler, and now that these same ponies are becoming aware of Nightmare Moon, they are beginning to fear it also. A hierarchy is needed, with proper distribution of power, and we the princesses must be prepared to relinquish our roles should that time ever come to pass.” Twilight appeared to be surprised by this revelation from the way that her muzzle hung, but she quickly shut it.
“However, contingencies must be put in place first. The problem in this is that if I was to remain stagnant and refuse to cooperate, a coup could be a few centuries, if not decades away. In contrast, if the royal tree is to be extended, however that may be accomplished, while the fair distribution between alicorns and the other tribes would likely appease many, there is no guarantee that future generations of royalty will not be incorruptible."
Twilight shifted on her pillow, glancing at the window in thought. Celestia knew it was a lot to process at once. When Twilight opened her mouth, she appeared to have fifty questions at the tip of her tongue. Eyes darting as she considered what to ask, she settled on: “Why did they choose Blueblood?”
“I believe the council sees him as easy to manipulate. He is a strong pony, but reluctant to oppose them. Also, his bond with me complicates matters. They likely knew that if I was to be seen condoning their actions, there was little to no chance he would put up a fight. They do not have his best interests at heart, nor yours, they only seek to further their own respective agendas. Of course, the council have done many things that could ostensibly be seen as beneficial to the majority, some of the things they have accomplished are admirable and significant, in fact, but as time passes, new members fill their halls, and not all of them are so caring and benevolent.”
“Hold on,” Twilight’s eyes fell on Celestia, “What exactly are Blueblood’s ties with the Royal Council?”
Celestia’s answer was forced and abrupt.“It is easier if you ask him that yourself, but I do not recommend leading with it, he is not the most trusting. What’s imperative for you to realise now is that he will not oppose this bond alone. It is for this reason that I didn’t reveal my true thoughts until he had already left. Blueblood is a complex individual, and you would be wise to learn his true nature as you proceed, it may help you to figure a way out of this mess.”
Celestia pushed a smile onto her lips, a sad thing, but genuine all the same. “I urge you to do what you do best, Twilight, dust off those old books and find a solution. If I can assist you in any way in the background, I’ll try my utmost to do so.”
Twilight nodded once more, wiping her eyes and trying her hardest to return Celestia’s smile, though her muzzle would barely cooperate. “I appreciate what you’ve said, Celestia, but Blueblood is just the worst of ponies. All I’ve heard are stories of how he treated Rarity at the gala, and considering that, I just-I just—”
Celestia cut Twilight off with a sudden and affectionate stroke of her mane. Twilight stopped short, slowly exhaling in an effort to release her mounting stress. Celestia’s look was maternal when she spoke. “Exactly, all you have heard are stories. What does that tell you, Twilight?”
“It tells me that other ponies had a negative interpretation of Blueblood,” she stated.
“And you are not other ponies,” Celestia laughed briefly, considering just how unordinary Twilight really was, “As such, you should make your own mind up. I… I cannot promise that you will think any differently as a result, but I do hope that you’ll give him a chance.”
A sharp sound whistled through the air; the repetitive clanging of blades sounded in the gardens of Prince Blueblood’s royal estate.
Blueblood dodged the onslaught of incoming blows with deft and nimble movements, swinging his body as rhythmically as he swung his weapon. With a short rapier in his telekinesis, Blueblood proceeded to whip the sword out of the other pony’s hand, disarming him before moving in for a quick thrust to the shoulder.
The blade connected, being stopped at the other pony’s fur, a magical barrier preventing a piercing, potentially mortal wound.
The swordsman lifted his mask, laughing. “A stunning riposte, prince! I must say, I wasn’t expecting that in the slightest! Tell me,” he leaned forwards, a smirk on his face, “Have you been receiving lessons in secret from one more experienced than I?”
Blueblood lifted his own mask. He returned his tutor’s gaze, but not his smile. “Truly, I have not. I simply do not wish to delay on this morn, I have a meeting that I am quite anxious for.”
“Another?” He laughed, levitating over a decanter of fresh water and two glasses. He offered one to Blueblood, who shook his head in a short motion. “That’s two in a day, is it not?”
“Indeed,” Blueblood stabbed his sword into a mound of dirt with a thrust of his magic, “And I am gladdened by neither. I have a great amount weighing on my mind, and I often believe you’re the only one privy to that, Stone.”
The bladesman smiled. “It’s quite alright to have worries and woes sometimes, my lord, but you mustn't allow them to weigh you down. Besides, it’s not as if I know what any of your issues actually are, and I wouldn’t wish to either. Being able to provide assistance in my own small way is more than enough for me.”
Suddenly and without warning, Blueblood swung his sword at Stone, clumps of dirt still attached to it. Stone barely managed to parry in time, using the long glass decanter as a shield, though it cracked and nearly shattered under the force of the thin sword’s flick.
“Oh, we’re playing like that now, are we sir?” Stone grinned, readying his weapon.
“Please, will you stop your incessant jabbering and put up some semblance of a fight this time?” Blueblood instinctively ducked, hearing the potted plant that had just whistled past his ears smash on the paved ground ten paces behind him.
Channeling energy through his horn, Blueblood began to pick up whatever garden ornaments and tools he could find, flinging them at Stone with impunity. Of course, not one met its mark.
Blueblood took a hard hoof to the face, stumbling back as he blocked a continuous flurry of swings. If there was anyone more adept with a sword than Stone, Blueblood hadn’t met them.
As he trotted backwards –trying to circle around to avoid backing up onto the path and tripping– he tried to anticipate Stone’s movements, but the other unicorn was as innovative as he was lithe and skillful. Stone went for a touch on his shoulder, then at the last second twisted his blade around in a counterclockwise motion, aiming for his underbelly.
Aware that he wouldn’t be able to block in time, Blueblood twisted his front left hoof, hoping to intercept the blade with his metal horseshoe before it struck true. Unfortunately, he miscalculated his movement, and the blade nicked him across the side of the hoof.
Stumbling forwards, he bent his front fetlocks and crouched down, pain throbbing in his hoof.
“Are you in pain, sir?” Stone asked, trotting over with his sword in a lax mental grip. “Would you like to take five?”
As Stone approached, Blueblood crouched further forwards, inhaling sharply as he put more pressure on his injured hoof.
“You appear to be hurt, sir. We should dress the wound and oof!--”
Springing straight up from his downed position, Blueblood bucked Stone right in the face, forcing him to topple backwards. A magical kinetic burst saved him from hitting the floor, repulsive energy pushing him back into the air. Twisting his body whilst airborne –twirling his sword throughout the motion– he landed atop Blueblood, pressing his blade against the prince’s neck with his aura, pinning him to the floor with both front hooves. “What have I told you about playing possum, sir?” he asked, a small gash on his muzzle from where the reasonably strong buck had connected.
“A real fox will sink his teeth in just to be sure,” Blueblood recited, his tone even, “I submit, in case you were curious.”
“Oh, of course.” Stone climbed off of Blueblood, putting some space between them and allowing him to return to his hooves. “Why the aggression today, if I may ask? It’s been a while since you’ve tried to pull that little trick on me.”
“None of your concern,” Blueblood replied placidly. “Now, could you inform the housestaff that we’re likely to have a guest arriving soon?”
“A guest, sir?”
“Yes you parrot, a guest.” Blueblood snapped. “Tell them that the guest quarters need to be ready for use within the hour, I wish to retire early.”
“May I ask who we are receiving, sir?” Stone asked, sheathing his weapon as he spoke.
“Princess Twilight Sparkle,” Blueblood scowled, though he didn’t allow his frown to stay for long.
“Oh, the princess?” Stone smiled, an eyebrow raised, “Very interesting, Prince. And the nature of this visit?”
“We are to be married,” Blueblood mumbled, eyes averted.
“To what?!” Stone exclaimed, incredulous, “You’re to marry Princess Twilight Sparkle, and you never thought to tell me?”
“You ask too many questions!” Blueblood barked, his brow straight, teeth bared. “Do not assume that you have the right to address me with such impertinence, old friend or not you still work for me. Now, go and tell the housekeepers that we have a guest arriving soon, and do it swifty! I will not tell you again.”
“But prince, this is a joyous occasion, we should be celebrating—”
“We most certainly should not!” Blueblood shouted, before considering the implications of what he had just said. “I do not wish to discuss it now,” he continued, his calm returning in some capacity, “but be aware that this is a matter of great discomfort for me. Furthermore, that is privileged information, between me and you.” Blueblood took a shallow breath before giving Stone a softer look. “Now, if you’d please?”
Stone nodded and trotted away, he likely had nothing else to say. Blueblood looked around at the scene before him, seeing scattered ornaments, mud trodden onto the path, and various other telltale signs of the damage him and his teacher’s conflict had caused in such a short amount of time.
Looking upon it in solitude, a smile slowly but surely tugged at his lips, until it had spread over his whole face. Playing back his favourite scenes from the fight in his mind, he allowed himself to be lost in fantasy –a brief reprieve– softly chortling at the sight of the destruction they had caused in such little time.
Surely, if Blueblood could handle Stone, he could handle anything.
Hm....
I'm enjoying the premise so far.
The pacing, not so much. But this story is still new, and it's just getting started.
Good luck.
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To everyone who expressed interest in a new chapter: I've got you covered!
AAIQU
Now isn't this an interesting twist to events? You've characterized Blueblood entirely differently that I'd expected. Basically a 19th/early 20th century noble, as opposed to a more old school one. I'd actually say the scene made me think Dune when reading it, and that's not a bad thing.
8349827
Interesting, in what ways would they be different? I mean, I feel more recent nobles make more sense for Equestria's hereditary elite as a whole, but I'm curious (and strangely poor at extrapolation at the moment) what the distinction is, precisely.
This second chapter sells the fic a lot better than the first. Celestia's much more convincing - still a horrible person for what she's dragging Twilight into, but one prepared to actually offer some small amount of real justification to the protege she's throwing to the wolves. This fic badly needs the alt-universe tag, though, for this characterization of Celestia alone.
I look forward to how you get to a sympathetic picture of Blueblood from where you've started. Because right now, he might be understandable, but he's not sympathetic.
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Mostly names. He knows the name of even one of his servants, the help. In the vampire times(Sorry, old joke), in almost every age before the 1800s, the help was just that to the nobility. They had no names, not even really faces, they were just the help. He even sparred openly with this guy, and nobles tended not to do that with the more common man, preferring duels against each other instead, as really, only a noble was equal to another noble.
Attitudes of that nature began to change in the real world around 1537, when the first major company was created in England, and its power rivaled that of any single house. They actually controlled shipping in and out of the country for some time, and even were the Navy for a while, their ships being the ones to fight off the Spanish Armada in 1588. Of course, said company is only a matter of record now, as the nobles carved them up when they felt the common rabble was becoming too powerful, but that was somewhere in the 1600s, and they were knocked down several pegs in England and elsewhere as global trade picked up, and the nobility became replaced by Merchant Leaders. Leading to the founding of America, amongst many other results.
he has never dated has he?
The council trying to make non-alicorn royals... Only one alicorn has bore a child, how can they be sure alicorns don't always have alicorn foals? Of course maybe they never thought of it, sometimes we miss what is starring us in the face. No pony knows how alicorn genetics works so depending on Twilight having Unicorn foals is foolish.
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'While so many others have tried in the past' implies that Celestia knows of alicorns from past times who attempted to have alicorn offspring but failed. This could lend credence to the theories regarding why there are now so few alicorns. Namely, the fact that they can't be born, and have to ascend from one of the three tribes. Until now, at least.
It's a measure of headcanon, but not unfeasible. To assume that nothing is known about alicorn genetics is to assume that Cadence was the first alicorn to have a child. Considering the fact that there's no indication whatsoever that Celestia and Luna were the first alicorns ever, I doubt that's the case.
AAIQU
Someone is not very happy with the idea of a forced marrage and it not only Twilight.
8349886 Yeah. "This female alicorn and male unicorn pairing produced an alicorn foal. We don't want that, so let's have a female alicorn and male unicorn pairing."
Wow, I really want to see how are you going to explain what happened at the gala, it's been always my headcanon that at the gala Rarity whenever was watching Blueblood we were just seeing what Rarity wanted to see (like a Rarity-Vision) and in reality Blueblood was just annoyed to be at the gale, or maybe he was just passing to the gala like another noble, but when he sees Rarity insisting on trying to woo him then he showed his fangs trying to shoo her... maybe he might have thought that Rarity was just another Noble Hunter, trying just to get Blueblood for the status... thinking twice Rarity WAS just trying to get Blueblood for his status...
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They apparently blame that on Cadance, and figure it's not just because she's an alicorn. After all, the implication in-show is that Celestia and Luna themselves have never had alicorn children, nor any other hypothetical alicorns in the past.
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As far as we know Luna and Celestia were the only alicorns in Equestria before Cadance. If no alicorn tried to breed that means the nobility was trying to breed one with unicorns and pegasi, which would naturally fail as alicorns mix all 3 tribes not just 2. If there are other alicorns in this story's universe you'll need to explain where they are/went. It's a plot hole unless you plug it.
Spike! I need a diversion quick!
what cha need?
An invincible army of flying tanks and flame throwers!
???
and you get to merry Rarity too!
Wut!?
the dragon unicorn republic you'll have a majority takeover of Equestria???
Does that make me a princess too?
with powers and riches and our own kingdom?
No just a diversion so I can run far far away!
???
"When the Royal Council planed to trap Twilight with archaic laws and devious stratagems, they plotted well, but Celestia plotted too, and alicorns are the best of plotters..."
It seems like the RC have become too familiar with the cute and cuddly version of Celestia to the point that they have forgotten her true nature. And to make matters worse, they have blatantly manipulated and upset the second youngest and emotionally unstable (relatively speaking) of Equestria's pantheon.
Jace Everett comes to mind here:
♪ There's no place to hide down here
Now I'm a wandering stranger
A scar for a name
A mark so deep and black
My children's children feel the shame ♫
What is this hand doing on a pony? Also good job on answering some of the criticisms from the comment section from the first chapter.
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Shit. Thanks very much for pointing that out!
Looks like there's a Necessary Adjustment.And thank you, I do try to value everyone's perspectives of course!AAIQU
So the council wants to keep the status quo by building a larger royal family, hopefully minus any more Alicorn births, while Celestia is hoping to eventually disengage the royalty from power, and wants it to be a stable decline.
Celestia's concerns regarding the recent census and connecting it to Luna's return fail to take note of how Luna and her efforts in the dreamscape as well as her continued work for Equestria should be able to knock those numbers down as years pass and she does not turn back to Nightmare Moon.
Plus while it's all well and good to have a peaceful transition, Celestia forgets that leaves generations of ponies who won't be able to enjoy those liberties she eventually plans to give them. She means well but forgets the millions that won't get to enjoy the fruit of those plans.
I have already come up with several solutions to this problem.
1. Call a meeting of the Concil, and invite Rarity. Tell Rarity what their plan is. Watch Rarity tear them apart.
2. Do as Celestia suggests, with a twist. Look up any archaic law that has the death penalty and see if it applies to any members of the Council, I'm sure she'd find some.
3. The media. Get all of her friends 'The Heroes of Equestria' to speak out against this union and explain to the masses why a pony who has saved all their lives at one time or another is being forced into a marriage and see how long it takes for the public to demand the Council be disbanded.
I have others but those are the most practical.
Oh good, this chapter saved it for me. We'll see how this goes though.
Well... this should be interesting.
I'm not a fan of this ship, but have a like!
the menopause line felt unnecessary
Wow that was fast
great chapter by the way i'm liking Stone
Very often raised idea, and quite frequently poorly implemented. Already, there's some flaws present, though I suppose some might be chalked up to the creative license one has when writing fanfiction.
Still rubs me the wrong way when Celestia is unable to control her own court though, which is pretty dubious in nature, at best. Meh.
Just a shit vehicle/plot hook that's present here.
I wonder what Shining Armor will say about all this... I would laugh if he and Blueblood were friends back in the day but had a falling out
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Yup. As before, so as always. Celestia being an idiot remains the most popular of Deus Ex Machina, and she continues to cave to an opponent without any ground to stand on.
After all, what precisely do they think they can do if Twilight says no and, say, seeks asylum in the Empire? Besides try to explain to the populace that their prestige was more important than national security when the next crisis shows up and the Elements don't.
Well good premise... just please remove the menopause line... I know that not everyone wants to deal in their stories with correct equine physiology, because it is about magical ponies not real horses... But if you think about it... Why would an alicorn lose their ability to reproduce... They are immortal/ageless... Either they lose their fertility by ascending or not... I know that alicorn physiology is not the focus of the story... as a person with basic knowledge of biology it just irks me a lot... it just doesn't make sense... probably saying that some injury took her ability to have foals would be better... Otherwise this is setting up to be interesting story!
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I'm sorry you feel that way! However, your reasoning is a little flawed.
(Just gonna add 'based on my understanding of the show' here.)
First of all, I'm pretty sure you'll find Twilight at least holding some power over the land she presides over as the general consensus. Second of all, the difference between Twilight (and Cadence) and Blueblood is that while Cadence was adopted, she was also an alicorn, and according to the comics had a mother who ruled the crystal empire before her. In other words, Cadence basically inherited that land. Blueblood is adopted too, but he's a prince in title only (also not an alicorn). The thing that made Cadence an exception was her birth mother, the thing that made Twilight an exception was her ascension to alicondom, as well as the erection/germination of her own castle, which was a pretty strong indicator that she was meant to do the whole princess thing at least kinda properly.
As for trying to force Cadence to have a foal, this makes little to no sense, as I'm sure you would have seen had you read on, although I don't know where the notion came from in the first place. You seem to be putting a lot more importance on the fact that Blueblood is a noble than it's worth.
Also, you appear not to know the difference between a county and a country. the fact that you quoted and underlined it then proceeded to talk about it as you did anyway shows that.
Also, are you under the impression that royals that aren't blood related are unable to marry? How do you think royal bloodlines have been propegated for thousands of years? There would be no law on this whatsoever, Twilight isn't related to Celestia.
To put it bluntly, as far as I'm concerned your opinion is wrong. I hate to say that, too, as I like to see merit in everyone's opinions, even some of the most critical ones I have received have been constructive in some way, but this just seems inane and ill informed. The only reason I've replied to this comment in particular is that I don't wish to see people scared away by your comment. I've not done this with other comments recently because no matter how critical or harsh they were I thought they made some kind of point, or at least had a shred of tact I guess.
It doesn't serve you to be rude and patronising when you haven't a leg to stand on, sorry mate.
Still, I'm sorry I couldn't entertain, thanks for sharing.
AAIQU
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The reason for menopause in Celestia and Luna is likely the same reason humans have it: she ran out of egg cells. When human women are born, they only have a certain number of egg cells, and lose one every month after they reach puberty. Assuming thar rhe author does not have the whole "heat" thing in this universe, female ponies likely go thru the same thing. Even if there were heat, they would still eventually run out. Thse reason an alicorn could simply not generate more is likely because egg cells lack a complete set ot chromosomes, and thus, cannot undergo mitosid to make more.
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Luna and Celestia aren't the only royal family in Equestria, though. We know that the unicorns had their own royal line long before Luna and Celestia entered the scene, and there was another in the Crystal Empire. It stands to reason these were not the only ones and that the lines that existed did not just vanish in a puff of smoke when Luna and Celestia took the throne, but merely took a step back.
And historically speaking it's always been easier to arrange a marriage between the unmarried than it is to break up a married royal couple. In the case of Cadance in particular, it could be seen as an act of aggression against the Crystal Empire where Cadance and Shining are rather popular and suffer none of the fear that the Equestrian court holds. By virtue of their status as the only link of power Equestria has over the Crystal Empire, they're pretty much untouchable.
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In the same logic, trying to force Cadence's sister in law, who may well have an indirect claim to that throne, into marriage is an act of political aggression against the Empire.
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Twilight's status doesn't have the same power. She's a sister in law, not a direct ruler of the Empire. At worst it's an insult, but that in no way compares to a foreign power tearing apart the royal family that saved and is currently ruling the Empire. Certainly not something to start a huge conflict over.
Heck, you could even argue that the Crystal Empire could be more understanding of the council's position. The Empire came back from a thousand years in stasis, back from the time where those kinds of arranged marriages were common.
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I wouldn't make any bets that an empire quite literally powered by love, whose ruler's magical portfolio is based around the same, and which has in recent memory (for them) suffered as slaves is going to be particularly sympathetic to forcing somepony who helped save them into a loveless marriage to allow her to be controlled.
Ignoring, of course, Shining Armor's personal reaction to 'we wanted an Alicorn to breed but your wife's not available so we're gonna have your sister legally raped instead'.
The second chapter just makes this even less plausible. Celestia's worried about a coup attempt in decades or centuries rather than the outright possibility of civil war (or crisis that Twilight simply refuses to help with because she's been given every reason to tell the Equestrian government to go hang) tomorrow, because apparently this particular version of her has the foresight of a particularly soft turnip.
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This maybe a derail, but considering Celestia a immortal woman for now... Means she has some way to repair or regrow the ends of her chomosomes so her cells do not have division limit... witch is where the immortality probably comes from... i just find it dumb that after ascension where she would get such upgrade to her body... witch upgrade would not stop oocyte degradation... then she would have about 15 millennia worth of eggs... (if she ascended when 21 years old) and if that is not the case... Luna is under 60 years old... witch I find unlikely...
I've seen a lot of not so good reviews pointing out why this story can't happen, but I think it's really great. You've obviously put a lot of thought and care into this story, and I'm really enjoying it. I can't wait for the next chapter!
Okay this is better, this is a really good start that should have been part of the previous chapter. we finally find out why this happened and why Celestia or Luna hasn’t taken the bullet for Twilight.
But, I think you made a mistake there. if Celestia went through menopause 3500~ years ago than Luna should also have gone through menopause roughly 3500~ years ago, if being trapped on the moon put her in stasis, Luna can only be roughly 1000 years “younger” than her sister.
It is an easy fix just change it so she went through menopause roughly 500 years ago. That way her sister could still be fertile and the examples of alicorns giving birth would be more recent then nightmare moon whose discovery caused this panic
Blueblood still looks like the bad guy here, he actually looks more like the bad guy after this chapter.
In the previous chapter, Blueblood was just the designated dick assigned to rape Twilight in the name of politics. In that chapter, he just failed to show enough displeasure over the idea. he just looked like he thought this was an annoying chore just short of being told to move his ass to the Crystal Empire for an assignment.
But in this chapter, Celestia had to wait for Blueblood to leave before she can tell Twilight that she hasn’t given up yet and how she will fight the marriage, because Blueblood would stop them if he knew about it… just let that settle in. Celestia actually thinks that if they found a way that Blueblood wouldn’t have to rape Twilight, he would try to stop them. And she is the only one who thinks Blueblood isn’t just trash. That is way worse than before on every level!
Bitch please! she knows how Blueblood treated her friends, she was there, don’t act like she got her opinions of him from the tabloids.
Plus, Celestia just told her that he would be working against their plans to not have Blueblood rape and impregnate Twilight for politics. If there is any reason why Blueblood can’t say no, now would be a really good place to say it.
Right now, we have two sides to this conflict and in this chapter, Blueblood was put on the side who wants the princesses raped, impregnated and controlled by a noble husband to show them who’s boss. Instead of the side that does not want that…
If the twist is that Blueblood is Batman or a secret agent, then that it is something we should have been shown during the scene from Blueblood’s perspective. instead of showing him as a fencer who attacks his partner after the fight is over in what can only appear to be a temper tantrum.
Yeeeahhh....second chapter? I'm only giving it one blunt opinion. The grave is getting dug deeper boys and girls.
'Nuff said.
8350136
Just imagine Twilight trying that second one and the pony she tries it one goes "Alright, for the good of Equestria, I will sacrifice my life. Go ahead, execute me."
That would be a pretty bond Twilight would find herself in indeed.
Story is interesting, but I has hoped that there would be more humor in it to off set the serious undertone in of the reason as to why they apparently have to get married and the politicking in the backdrop. So far the characters feel a bit flat in there reactions as they seem so serious to the point I don't exactly recognize Twilight's and Celestia personalties like giving haft answers about what they think about Bleublood, especial for Celestia who knows him the best could at least show to twilight some of his more redeeming qualities if she thinks that she can count on him to do his duty and trust in him. For Blueblood himself it doesn't seem to steer up much reaction to him for being the pampered the he acted like in the episode, even if it could be just a facade. Still I will be looking forward to the next chapter.
8350738
Point, though counterpoint, we also know that it's a very traditional country. With very complex traditions to the point of almost intervening with diplomacy, what with the incredibly complicated hairdos required for symbolic meetings.
Shining's displeasure is similarly not mountain moving. He is Captain of the Royal Guard and Prince Consort to Cadance. On a political scale that gives him the power to voice his displeasure at best. A powerful tool that Twilight should absolutely use in her fight against these shenanigans, but not an instant fix for the problem at hand.
8350867
That's an empty threat though, as Twilight would never leave innocent ponies to suffer because the upper crust moves to chain her.
And how would this arranged marriage directly result in civil war? If anything, direct defiance of the law on Celestia's part is more likely to do that. The line between ruler and tyrant is a thin one, usually held only in check by how much the ruler follows the law. Look for example how easily any talk about changing the American constitution riles up tension all across the USA. Whatever president attempts to change it has to fight tooth and nail to do so, even if he does it legally.
It may not play into how Celestia tends to be viewed as an absolute ruler in MLP, but Celestia being unable to simply change old laws on a whim is actually a rather realistic point. Laws aren't made to just be scrapped on a whim. They can be changed, but they have to be changed through a legal progress.
Which is exactly what Celestia is telling Twilight to do. This entire arranged marriage thing is an old law that needs to go, but it has to be dealt with the legal way.
Sheer length and count of those autistic comments and a cute cover pic suggest you know what you're doing. I'll read this when I have some time.
8351098
Dude, he's not happy with it either. If you want to keep up with the rape narrative, then at least recognise that's it's happening to both of them.
8351469
it is a threat she doesn't actually has to make herself. she can just move to the crystal empire and "unrelated" ponies can make remarks like.
oh what a terrible thing the nobles have done to that pour girl, a hero of equestria, practically forced into exile because of their endless lust for power. can you blame her? it's so tragic! if the personal student of the princess and savior of the realm isn't even safe from their unholy lusts than who is? I ask you who is safe?!
and somewhere they can also ask: oh, and what is the travel time to and from the crystal empire again?
8351548
it would be nice if it was actually SHOWN how much he hated this.
if we had seen him complaining or trying to stop it.
if Celestia didn't say he couldn't be trusted with their plans to stop the marriage.
you know, if it had been shown that Blueblood isn't part of the group trying to turn Twilight into a broodmare to undercut her power.
in short i'm complaining that this story has not done anything to make Blueblood sympathetic yet. my earlier comments even had suggestions how to make Blueblood sympathetic.
8351616
You mean when he was frustrated and tried to take it out on his servant? How he could hardly say it openly, mumbling it, yelling that this isn't a cause for celebration, how this was causing him "great discomfort", how he'd rather not talk about it or think about it if given the choice?
Those parts?
This story...Gosh, it's so...stupid. It hinges on so many stupid fanon facts it's painful.
-First, ancient Equestrian laws and royal families? There was only two royal family: Celestia and Luna, and the Unicorn Royal Family. The pegasus had a military dictatorship and the earth ponies had something, probably with elections. Maybe you meant Pre-Hearth's Warming laws? In which case, how are they relevant to Equestria?
-Two, you say that Celestia can't go against the law, or she'll be a tyrant. The thing is, she already is. She the ultimate authority in Equestria and is clearly able to do as she wishes. She doesn't abuse her power, fearing what she might become (read: Daybreaker), but I sincerely doubt she'd let greedy bastards compromise her moral integrity as well as the Harmony of Equestria.
-Third, let's assume there even is such a thing as a nobility in Equestria (the only example of which is Blueblood himself), and even then your story doesn't make sense. Sure, Celestia and Luna started as figurehead, but Celestia had a thousand years to take control of the government. A. Thousand. Years. I hate stories that portray Celestia at the mercy of mortal ponies, it's just not believable. Louis XIV managed to wrap the nobility around his little finger in a single lifetime, his rule having begun in civil war. Celestia, smart, cunning and immortal, wasn't able to do the same? Even when 2/3rd of the founding Equestrians did not have nobles? Even when she had a bucking millennium to do so?
-Fourth, who says she needs to break the law? Celestia says she relies on the power the people give her; so do the nobles. She'd simply have to reach out to the populace for them to take up arms to defend their beloved God-Queen.
-Fifth, on her being a God-Queen. Unless she's a pushover who's unwilling to stand up for her morals, the fact that she's the only thing keeping the planet alive would be more than enough to shut up the nobles.
Now, on to Twilight.
-First, what the actual fuck. Why would she have a demesne? She still lived in a library when she first became a princess! It makes zero sense, whatsoever.
-Two, she's a national hero. 5 times over. If news of her legal rape attempt reached the public, the nobles would soon find themselves at the pointy end of a knife.
-Three, I cannot conceive Luna, Cadance or Shining Armour being willing to let that happen. Luna nearly overthrew her sister because of her envy. Do you really think she'd let her saviour and friend be forced like that? For Cadance and Shining, the Crystal Empire was seemingly annexed by Equestria, and considering that I doubt she'd do otherwise, she probably gave Shiny a rank equivalent to King-Consort rather than Prince-Consort. Or in other words, they are equals, in all matters. It boggles the mind that they'd be unwilling to pull rank to save their family from such a sordid fate.
All in all, this story is incredibly contrived, and it's utterly ridiculous that the characters act like there is no solution when there clearly is a plethora of them. The story can only happen if Celestia, and everyone else, for that matter, are not Lawful Good, but quite solidly Lawful Stupid, being unwilling to break a cruel law that they would be entirely justified in getting rid off, an act the populace, if not the nobility, would completely support. The premise of your story would be far more easily acceptable if it was a comedy with serious elements, like The Demesne of the Reluctant Twilight Sparkle. As is, you're taking your story far too seriously, as the plot it was given is just too unbelievable to take seriously. Or at least, not without severely distorting our views of the main characters.