Sweet Dreams (by Pearple Prose)
“Ponies do not die, for they will live on forever in our dreams.”
— Princess Luna, Diary Vol. III
The grieving mother came to Princess Luna on a soft summer morning, wearing a dark veil in spite of Celestia’s shining Sun.
“Your Highness?” she asked, tentatively, head bowed.
Luna blinked, and turned to look at the mare. She was sitting on the grass on the hill overlooking Canterlot’s graveyard, and the mare was standing off to one side, at a respectful distance. “Yes?” she said. “What is it, my little pony?”
“I… I am very sorry to bother you, Princess Luna,” said the mare, “but I have a rather selfish request to ask of you.”
Princess Luna’s double chocolate sundae – seasoned with extra sugar – slowly descended, held by her magic, from her lips to the ground. “Ah. Well, we would be more than happy to accomodate you, I’m sure,” she said. She smiled, remembered what happened last time she’d smiled in public, and dialled it down to something that might be called ‘an optimistic tightening of the lips.’
The mare held a hoof to her chest, over her heart. “Your Highness, you are able to… see into ponies’ dreams, is that right?”
Luna nodded. “That is indeed within my station.”
“And you can give us good dreams too, yes?”
“Yes. Is something wrong? Have nightmares been troubling thee, of late?”
“No, that’s not the issue. You see, your Highness, my poor, poor little Sweet Tooth passed away last month.” The grieving mare’s voice held a hint of a withheld sob. “And I was wondering… if I could see him again, just one last time? In my dreams? He is a little white colt, with a lovely red mane, and a sweet little smile, and he–”
Luna blinked. “Oh. Yes, I can do that for you.”
The mare paused for a second. If the strange casualness of Luna’s response registered at all, she didn’t show it. “Oh, your Highness!” She fell into a deep bow. “Thank you! Thank you so very much!”
Luna smiled. “You’re welcome, my little pony. I hope you will have a lovely night’s rest.”
The mare cantered off happily, humming a little song under her breath.
Luna maintained the smile until the mare stopped peeking back over her shoulder, then let it fall into a thoughtful frown. She took a swig of her sundae, and she tapped her ice-cream-covered chin, and then she thought: What a strange mare.
Celestia’s teacup paused at her mouth, then descended slowly to the tabletop where it clinked against the matching saucer. Her mouth hung open slightly.
“That’s… a very kind thing for you to do, Luna,” she said, eventually, in entirely genuine surprise.
Luna made a face at her. “Well, I daresay there’s no need to say it like that, Sister.”
“There may not be a need, but there is a precedent,” Celestia replied. She didn’t mention any of them out loud, but she thought very particularly about certain well-meaning-but-horribly-executed-and-also-entirely-misunderstood gestures on Luna’s behalf, mostly stemming from a lack of understanding of the modern world, lack of self-awareness, lack of common sense, and just general lacking.
“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“A worryingly large percentage of my subjects believe that you do, in fact, eat foals that do not give you candy on Nightmare Night, Luna.” Celestia sipped from her teacup.
“Ahem,” Luna began, shooting her sister a glare. “Our subjects, Sister.”
“Right. Sorry.”
“It’s fine.” Luna looked down at her teacup, which had been hovering noncommittally near her mouth for the entire conversation. “Anyway. I must confess, I do not understand why that mare was so joyous that I chose to honour her request.”
Celestia smiled. “Oh? That is a very sweet thing to say, Luna. Perhaps it’s because many ponies do not expect such a kindness to be given so freely?”
“Maybe?” Luna shrugged, and went silent for a few moments. And then she said, “Is it truly a kindness, though?”
Celestia paused. “That is incredibly profound, Sister. I had not thought of it like that.”
“You’re being sarcastic again,” Luna grumbled.
“No, no! Honestly.” Celestia gazed out the window at the night sky over Canterlot. “It is an interesting observation. Is seeing a dearly departed loved one again truly a kindness, despite how we may believe it to be? Perhaps the joy will be too short-lived, and will only stop the wounds from scarring over sooner?” She put a hoof to her chin, looking thoughtful.
Luna just looked confused. “Whatever you say, Sister.”
Celestia gave her sister a concerned glance. “Are you okay, Luna? You seem quite upset about this.”
“I just don’t understand why she felt the need to come to me about it.” Luna set the teacup down on the table and began spooning in sugar. “I mean, it’s not as if she can’t just go and see her son anytime she wants.”
There was a pause. Celestia’s head tilted, slowly. “Luna.”
“I mean, that’s why we have all those graves, right? For storage.”
“Luna, no.”
“I suppose it’s just easier this way? You’d have to spend all the time digging them back up again, otherwise, and you’d be all sweaty at the end of it. So I’m really just here to save them the effort of going through all that. Seems quite lazy of her, if you ask me.”
Celestia pressed a hoof to the bridge of her snout.
Luna, noticing nothing, raised her teacup, which now contained more sugar than liquid. “Oh well. I hope the mare has a pleasant night’s sleep.”
“Luna, no.”
Luna shuddered. “I don’t envy her, that’s for sure. It turns out Sweet Tooth’s gone a little sour in the interim.”
“LUNA–”
“Sweet Tooth? Sweet Tooth, is that you? Oh, of course it is. I’d recognise your mane anywhere…”
“...Sweet Tooth?”
“SWEET TOOTH?!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA–”
Luna sipped at her sugar. “Mmm. Much better. Also, on this topic: we really should reconsider how we store dead ponies. Maybe there is beauty in truth, but a rotten hole in the ground really does not do them any favours.”
“Luna for the love of—”
“Ponies do not die, for they will live on forever in our dreams. Sorry about that.”
— Princess Luna, Diary Vol. III
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God DAMNIT Luna. YOU HAD ONE JOB!
Damn it, Luna! You're FIRED!
Oh Jesus....
Should be a graveyard, unless Canterlot also has a church.
Graveyards are places to bury the dead.
Cemeteries are the same, but attached to a church.
Yes, I know, I'm a pedantic asshole.
Again, those beginning and ending quotes really make this chapter for me.
Goodness, this chapter
Now I think of Sweet Tooth from Twisted Metal...
8254619 You mean 'pedant'
8254635
The term you both are looking for is pedantic. "Pedant" is a noun, not an adjective.
8254657
DAMNIT I hate my phone's autocorrect. It kept telling me that "pendantic" isn't a word, even though it worked PERFECTLY FINE just now.
FML.
"Luna, no" is my new favorite bit of dialogue.
So she had rotten version of sweet tooth appear in the dream?
You had one ONE job, Moonbutt.
How was that saying? There's nothing worse than seen one's wishes granted.
I don't see the problem here. Luna has been extremely accommodating. It's not her job to think about all those silly, little details that become lost in a badly formulated request.
8254619
Canterlot houses Celestia and Luna. It is a church.
Everyone's complaining about Luna having one job, but hey, she did it!
...
Technically...
Nicely done
Luna, YES
This is utterly delightful.
Yup. Definite Llamas with Hats vibes.
8254717
I think the issue is the spelling. It's 'pedantic', not 'pendantic'. Hence Mobiusman's correction.
Why didn't she just give the mare a Monkey's Paw and have her wish to get him back? That always works out great!
"Luna no..."
How my parents are whenever I begin to 'think'
8279750
Why the heck would Luna need to give them a monkey's paw? She's the whole damn ape!