• Published 20th Jun 2017
  • 6,171 Views, 245 Comments

Mad, With Power - Aragon



Sisters being peaceable with horrors unspeakable. (A collection of creepy and surreal little comedies about the Princesses.)

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An Acquired Taste

“It is much safer to be feared than loved.”

—Machiavallo, The Princess.

“I disagree.”

—Princess Celestia, The Princess Replies.




In the dead of the night, the sound of teeth sinking into flesh echoed around the corridors of the Castle, and Celestia’s pristine white coat met red for the first time in millennia.

She grunted, tried to pull—but pony teeth are not made to cut, they’re made to mush and break. It was a messy job, one that took too much time, and too much effort.

Then it was over, and Celestia’s head jerked to the side.

She munched.

And swallowed.

Silence reigned through the Castle once more, blood dripping through the corners of Celestia’s mouth.

Then she looked to the side and spat. “Luna?”

"Yes?"

"That tasted nothing like Earl Grey."

Luna blinked. “Wow,” she said. “Really? Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“Well, that is just ridiculous.” Luna trotted towards the corpse, her head slightly cocked to the side. Her horn glimmered, and the moon shone brighter, illuminating the corridor a little better. “He even looks like the thing!”

It took Celestia a moment.

“What?”

“The corpse!” Luna pointed at the dead Royal Guard. “See? It looks just like the thing. It should taste like the thing, too.”

“The… The corpse.” Celestia squinted. “The corpse looks like Earl Grey?”

“Indeed! See? That bit over there, it’s exactly like—”

“Luna,” Celestia interrupted. “You have no idea what Earl Grey actually is, do you.”

“I assume it’s either a beverage or a noblepony, and it honestly works on both.” Luna pointed at the dead Royal Guard again. “See? Look at the blood under the moonlight. Doesn’t it look like a drink to you?”

Celestia looked. “It does not.”

“It does, too. Surely you jest, Sister, or you ate it wrong.” Luna stuck out her chest in a show of unabashed pride, and then pushed Celestia aside as she approached the dead Royal Guard even more. “Observe!”

And she kneeled down, and took a hefty bite.

Fifteen bloody seconds passed.

Luna swallowed.

And then Celestia just arched an eyebrow and looked at her. “Well?”

Luna looked back. “Um. Well.”

“Anything to add?”

“I…” Luna squinted. “I might have misremembered my cannibalistic days a little bit, I suppose. This is—maybe they changed their flavor?”

“Luna, you do realize we just killed one of our Royal Guards for nothing, do you.”

“It’s probably something in the food!” Luna said, kicking the ground a little, as if to accentuate her words. “Yes! That must be it! You need to feed your subjects better, Sister!”

“We just killed and ate one of our Royal Guards for nothing.” Celestia sighed and shook her head, blood still dripping from her chin. “I have to admit, Luna, this night has been nothing but one disappointment after the other. First we run out of tea, and now…”

Luna looked at Celestia here, and she seemed to make herself smaller. When she spoke, her voice was quiet, soft, innocent. “I’m sorry,” she said.

And Celestia, upon hearing this, immediately changed her own tone and waved a hoof in a dismissive way. “No, no, don’t worry. It’s just—I didn’t have my cup after dinner, Luna, and I’m merely in a bad mood. You are not at fault.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely. You tried to help me, too. Your efforts were just slightly misguided, is all—but I know your heart was in the right place, Luna. And that’s all that matters.” Then Celestia looked at the dead Royal Guard, longing in her eyes. “I must admit, I also let myself get my hopes up.”

“Hmm.” Luna visibly relaxed. She got closer to her sister, bumped shoulders with her almost subconsciously, and then looked at the dead Royal Guard too. “It’s a shame they don’t taste like Earl Grey, though. You wouldn’t have run out of tea ever again.”

“It would have been,” Celestia said, “an elegant solution. But alas, life is sometimes not easy, and we must accept its hardships.” She let a small smile creep up to her face, and chuckled. “Isn’t that what makes life beautiful, in the end?”

Luna chuckled back. “I guess.”

“Let that be a lesson, then. We don’t always have easy solutions, but that doesn’t mean life isn’t worth living.”

“Hmm.” Luna poked the corpse. “Should we clean up this mess?”

“Oh, there’s no need. We have ponies who do that for us.” Celestia turned around and walked away. “But we better not say this was us, I feel. It’d be too embarrassing.”

And so they left, behind them a trail of crimson hoofsteps, and a dead Royal Guard shining under the moonlight, his face forever frozen in a mixture of shock and surprise.




“It is much safer to be feared than loved.”

—Machiavallo, The Princess.

“I disagree. If you’re loved, they forget why they feared you in the first place.”

—Princess Celestia, The Princess Replies.

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