• Member Since 19th Mar, 2012
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Aragon


Quoth the raven: "CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW CAW" (Patreon)

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Sisters being peaceable with horrors unspeakable.

(A collection of surreal and creepy little comedies about the Princesses. Collab with Pearple Prose).


As this is an anthology series, it will update periodically. The stories are largely unrelated, but within the same continuity.

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 245 )

As sometimes it takes me long to post anything new -- I'm working on Big Stuff, y'see, and that takes time -- I decided to just post a lil' anthology of bite-sized creepy comedies for y'all.

It'll update somewhat frequently, as these are easy to write (and fun, to boot). Special thanks to Pearple Prose and MrNumbers for the assistance!

"I don't agree with it either, but nopony else seems to realize it was supposed to be satire."

—Machiavallo, Reply to the Princess

As for Luna's modest proposal, as her sister said, her heart was in the right place. Presumably, so was the guard's

I kept reading "widow" as "window" and was very confused for a while.

Also, in Luna's defense, they really do all look alike after a while.

Do I even want to know what a seapony does with a watering can?

Also, I do love how the two sisters are equals and opposites in insanity, as they are in most things.

These little snippets are beautiful, but I think it's the quotes at the beginning and the end that really do it for me. I'm eager for more!

Again, her heart's in the right place. Her mind appears to be rooming with Discord.

Hope you don't mind the comment dump. These are fun in a way that makes me worry about myself for enjoying them so much. You're clearly doing something right. I look forward to more.

*sighs* And now I have to execute them for cannibalism... DO YO KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE TO DO THAT WITH PONIES AROUND HERE?!

Bronies are weird!

:trollestia:

“Resurrection doesn’t happen, Luna.

Feh. *presses 'respawn'.. a little star with eyes appears and floats upscreen... the pony revives!* All you need is control over the program. :trixieshiftright:

Spiderses...

This story deserved that. :trollestia:

8245299
It always was kind of odd how everyone takes that story seriously.

8245490

8245299

Poor dude wrote something he was completely against, but butchered up the whole thing by giving genuinely good advice. So nobody got it.

I just assumed, in this particular instance, that Celestia didn't get it either.

This is beyond hilarious! Also, found a mistake!

Suddenly, Seastar froze in place in the water, eyes wide with terror. Some great and inexorable pull dragged him back, and he swivelled in the air until he was looking right into the landpony’s eyes. He whimpered, although only bubbles escaped his lips.

If it weren't for the bubbles, I'd think he scared himself from the bottom of the ocean to above it!

8245299
Not anymore, it's over there...somewhere.
:scootangel:

8245314
Probably works on "Spongebob" logic (in regards to the watering can).

And thus, nobody ever saw Flash Sentry again.

This will never not be beautiful to me. Derp-ass Luna.

I thought for a second that they were talking about the guard who was eaten in the previous chapter. :rainbowlaugh:

...and in the shadows, Twilight Sparkle sits catatonic.

While Spike ventures forth to ask the princesses, "Hey, are you planning on finishing that?"

Quadruple favorited.


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NO I REGRET OPENING THAT IMAGE OHMEGURD

The solution turned out to be quite simple. They teleported the spiders to Chrysalis's hive.

It was Discord's idea, actually... The popcorn and folding chair concessionaires became obscenely wealthy.

Well, this is definitely the first story that goes from quoting one of the most famous lines in Machiavelli's The Prince to cannibalism and disappointment that ponies don't taste like Earl Gray. You definitely have my attention after reading the first short story. :twilightsheepish:

Alright, I finished reading the chapters currently published, and I must say that it was a pleasant read. Comedy and horror may have a plethora of differences on their own, but stories like this one show how entertaining they can be when coupled together. The way each chapter starts out with a famous quote or phrase, connects the story to that quote, and ends with a modified version of that quote/source is genius. That was easily my favorite part of the story, and it provides a number of opportunities to get Celestia and Luna into all sorts of situations. Furthermore, it makes me curious to see what other famous quotes or phrases are adapted into these kinds of short stories.

Speaking of which, Celestia and Luna had some wonderful chemistry throughout the story. They're not the Celestia and Luna we may be familiar with, but the way the story presents itself coupled with how the two sisters talk akin to their canon counterparts makes this wilder interpretation of them work. This portrayal of them also benefits the comedic moments sprinkled throughout the story, as it gives these wacky scenarios a hint of plausibility. I can't help but think of Luna accidentally unleashing a horde of spiders, or the sisters sending an inexperienced army into Griffonstone, being something that could happen under their watch. It's something that's definitely worth praise.

Anyway, I'm pleasantly surprised with how much I enjoyed the story, and I'll be sure to check out any future updates. Excellent work! :twilightsmile:

Okay, this was hilarious, as expected from Aragon :rainbowlaugh:

The quotes were the best.

8245299 Ha.

Luna, you lovable sociopath :rainbowlaugh:

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A pegasus might ask an earth pony why they're moving dirt from one part of the garden to the other, and the earth pony would reply, "Why, can't you see? It's the wrong type of dirt of course!"

And in this example we have the seapony equivalent. What does a seapony do with a watering can?
They move water from one part of the garden to the other.

Why?

Can't you sea?
It's the wrong type of water; off course!

It requires true talent to take that thin line between madness and genius... and crochet doilies out of it.

I humbly bow at the feet of the master.

The last line before the rhyme conclusion was golden. I can't wait to read more in the future :eeyup:

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now don't go muddlin this with your fancy book learnin' none

Well. This was, a thing. Very glad I don't deal with spiders.

Wow, I don't think I can even make a funny out of that. I got nothin'. :rainbowderp:

Lol wut?:pinkiecrazy:

You need to spice them to bring out that particular flavor, sugarcube :ajbemused:

Insta-faved, just because you didn't mention fucking Chamomile.

I swear, sometimes the Celestia interpretations can get so predictable.

8245306
I'm with you here. It's MLP. Everypony looks EXACTLY the same with slightly different color schemes.

8245306
I kept doing the same thing. I think I only started seeing the word "widow" after the timeskip. Even when I at first was confused and had to go back to the word while reading the story, I kept seeing window and thought that Luna for some reason thought that the pony behind a window is the window.

Then I read your comment and my brain started seeing widow. Truly this is the madness

I think the quotes at the beginning and end are my favorite parts.

Is there any clue on what exactly Luna did? I couldn't quite grasp it.

You probably really should have put Dark in the tags. Lighthearted viscous murder is always how I want to start my day, thanks for that.

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