Jura
Joined 30th Mar, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- tragicCaligula · 3.3k words · 152 19 · 4.9k views
- Brightlight24 · 277k words · 1,392 45 · 14k views
- darf · 9.5k words · 266 33 · 9.8k views
- Demon Eyes Laharl · 100k words · 3,417 100 · 45k views
- Hand-Made · 6.7k words · 527 37 · 17k views
- mrponyguy · 144k words · 193 27 · 3.1k views
- AuNaturale · 286k words · 1,884 177 · 36k views
- Sparky Brony · 224k words · 73 13 · 1.8k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.074 seconds
Total duration
1,017 users online
181,583 hits today, 2,205,040 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
lol what
You...SICK... bastard!
Go to a psychiatrist or some shit. You should not be having dreams like this dude!
I've had worse. Try to imagine your body being eaten from the inside out by spiders and snakes... then the gross and weird shit starts to happen.
897649
I feel like this is nothing compared to a lot of gore fics... But hey, I warned you XD
...Wow.
The worst dream I've ever had was just some horse or something chasing me down a street when I was 5. Maybe I'm mentally sheltered
I don't know wether to like it or not. I skipped the ending though, sorry
I'll be in the corner; whimpering
... not sure if this counts as art
Wow, people here are really dumb and thin-skinned, you'd think they had never read a piece of modern fiction before! For anyone who has read Game of Thrones or other dark series, like those from Philip K. Dick or awesome books like Wicked knows that graphic content doesn't necessarily mean a bad ride.
Now, my beef with the story is not its shocking parts or how it is written, which is very well. It's that there is not much story being told here. Beyond the progression of the mood of the scene, nothing really ever happens or develops... I didn't really feel a deep connection to either party and complete apathy is probably the most damning reaction to a piece of art, I suppose.
I would have adapted it even further from its dream roots to clean up the progression. Things that make sense while we're unconscious usually completely fall apart in the waking hours. There's no running motif or symbolism or other things I expect from overwritten, purple prose artsy type pieces either and those sorts of tactics can give a story a lot of cohesion and a resonating impact when everything is said and done, leaving the reader with something to think about.
Still, you show a lot of promise and I hope to see more grimdark from you! And it's not the length or the word count either, some amazing things can be done with short stories, you just need to make sure you have a central conflict, a strong introduction and a good payoff once all that is accomplished.
900525
Thank you so much for the feedback. Seriously, things like that are what make me keep writing. It is so helpful when people offer their input on my work. You can't know how much I appreciate it.
I agree with you though, I can see how a reader might not care about the characters and in future writing I really intend on working on that. In respect to the dream aspect though, the minor incoherence of the actual story was probably a flaw in hindsight but in the process it seemed like a neat concept.
Again, thank you.
Interesting story to say the least, though I hope you don't have dreams like this often. Still not as bad as Momma Fluttershy *shivers
901922
Is it bad that I got off to Momma Fluttershy? I'm not kidding about it...
902279 0_0
902354
I'm a fucked up person!
:elimsthgiliwt: dab ton
I'll have whatever he's having.
Joking aside, well done.
I love gore.
902354>>902468 What's Momma Fluttershy?
948287 worse than cupcakes is what it is. go read it if you're that curious, but I warn you it is brutal.
An enjoyable read.
*slow clapping*
Is the teasing the trigger part the part when you woke up?
2371908
Ha, yeah actually it was, sorry I don't check this account very often.