53 - I Wanna Get Physical
Mayor Mare scribbled busily at the podium, a quill held in her mouth as her head wagged about, making the marks of her deliberation. "Both sides have made compelling arguments. It's good to see that they both have their eyes on the prize, and are here for good reasons." She brought her quill down, tapping its edge firmly.
"Both made claims of support and harmony." She set down her quill. "Twilight's was more direct. It's difficult to argue statecraft isn't on the nose, as it were." Her eyes swept over the assembled crowd, their distant murmurs the backdrop of her thoughts. "We have pulled into a draw."
She raised a hoof, slowly pointing at Twilight, then Lyra and Bon Bon. "It all comes down to the third, and final, competition. But, that will wait. Thirty minute break begins now." She tapped the same hoof against the podium. "Not all of us enjoyed a home-cooked lunch. Refreshments will be available, provided by the kind ponies at Sugarcube Corner."
"That's me!" came the excited cry of Pinkie as she vanished in a pink puff to rapidly set out the tables of snacks for everyone to enjoy.
Lyra waved lightly at Twilight. "Nice speech. You had, like, a million flashcards I bet, right?"
Twilight raised a brow as she stood up. "Are you making fun of my study methods?"
"No! No... I just remember it." She smiled gently, turning for the food tables. "You're cute when you study. That never worked for me."
Bon Bon swatted Lyra, spurring the mare into motion before she looked to Twilight. "I'm fairly sure Lyra is not 'in' this. The more we do, the more sure I am..."
Twilight approached cautiously. "She's conceding?"
Bon Bon shook her head. "I didn't say that. I'm saying she doesn't see you as an enemy, and she doesn't see Laud as a prize. We're friends having... an especially spirited debate. Don't hold this against her. It'll break her little heart if you hold a grudge, whichever way this ends."
Twilight shook her head slowly. "This is... We're talking about the future of the entire world, even beyond Equestria itself. This is not just a random debate of philosophies."
"You don't need to remind me of that," assured Bon Bon, gesturing to herself. "Also, you know I'd have done better if I was allowed to start discussing state secrets, Miss Princess."
Twilight's lips twitched in a coy smile. "Perhaps. Thank you for refraining from doing so... Let's not stoop to cheating."
Bon Bon suddenly poked Twilight dead in the center of her chest. "Like a certain princess making a big showy display of learning his language and chastising us for not having these collars already on?"
Twilight had the shame to color faintly, her underhoofed technique pointed out. "Sorry... Look, this is what Princess Celestia trusted me to get done. I don't want to disappoint her, or Equestria as a whole! This is my first country-wide action as a princess that could change everything. Of course I'm taking it seriously..."
Bon Bon set her hoof on her chest. "Do you think I would be here if I thought I couldn't handle the responsibility? This would hardly be my first assignment." She glanced off at Lyra, who was already snacking and chatting with other ponies. "I'll be handling the hard parts. She just wants to be with him, as ultimate friends."
Twilight was mid-step, but froze. "I... wait." She turned to face Bon Bon. "Wait."
"Hmm?"
"You and her are best friends."
Bon Bon's teeth clenched almost without her awareness. "And?"
"And... I'm sorry." Twilight resumed her walk. "I should have noticed. Some friendship princess. This must be horrible for you."
"What?!" Bon Bon rushed to keep up with Twilight. "What are you implying?"
"She's ready to install somepony else in the position you've held dear for years." Twilight glanced aside at Bon Bon. "But you're such a good friend, you're trying to help her." Her smile spread, thin as it was.
Bon Bon huffed indignantly. "Don't make me out as some kind of tragic hero." She thumped the ground with an angry step. "If we win this, we'll be legally recognized as the best friends two mares can be."
Suddenly the two mares were pulled together, Pinkie standing between them, a foreleg around either. "Gee, if only you could just be one big herd instead of two itty bitty fighting ones. That would sure be a lot easier."
"Unacceptable." Laud approached, his voice clear and surety in his steps. "You have made yourselves clear, but I am not a reward to be given away." He stopped in front of the three ponies, his eyes moving from one to the next. "I am making my own decision. If you will not allow me that, then I will know without doubt where we stand."
Twilight tilted her head faintly at him. "Hello, Laud. What's wrong?"
Bon Bon nodded in agreement with the question. "You look upset."
Laud brought his hands together slowly, fingers weaving. "I will marry Twilight, it is the most intelligent political move. We understand and respect one another, and I predict little friction between us. It may even deepen as we get to learn more of each other. No matter how--"
Bon Bon bristled furiously. "But--"
"--No matter," continued Laud. "--how we phrase this, polygamy is not a good look to start with." He lowered, dropping to a knee to be more on their level. "But what is not said is not heard. If Lyra wants to pursue me, in private, and Twilight is not offended, then I will allow her that."
Twilight softly coughed into a hoof. "If Rarity heard any of this, she'd swoon. This is sounding right out of a novel she'd read."
Pinkie shrugged her shoulders. "Or you can be a super secret herd, that works too." She flashed a bright grin at Laud. "Good luck whichever you do, alright?" She bounced off, unbothered by the idea proposed.
Bon Bon stood tall and frozen a moment, but it was faltering. When Laud fixed her with his sure gaze, she grunted and fell to her haunches. "That's your decision then?"
"It is." He crossed his arms across his front.
Bon Bon raised a hoof as if to pinch at the bridge of her nose, though it was more of a rubbing. "You're really a stubborn thing... One of the things I respect." She set the hoof down and let out a slow breath. "Alright... alright. I won't force a pony to marry me... No matter how much I want Lyra to be happy, that... is a step too far."
With a soft thud, Laud slapped a hand down on one of Bon Bon's shoulders. "You fought well and hard. You've gained my respect today, even if I was scandalized. You are a warrior, in battle of any kind. Lyra is fortunate to have you at her side."
As if summoned by her name, Lyra trotted towards the group. "Hey, you're supposed to be getting a snack, people. Well, maybe not Laud, you already ate, but the rest of... hey, what's going on?" Her eyes darted between Laud and Bon Bon and took in his stance, the hand, Bon Bon's look. "Is he proposing?!"
Bon Bon snorted softly, though she was smiling. "Yes, but not the sort you were hoping for." She turned to Lyra. "We're conceding this match."
"What? I mean... alright... why?" She sank to her haunches, her plate of food lowering in her magic to rest on the grass. "Did I do something wrong?"
Twilight dipped her head towards Lyra. "I'm sorry, for being a poor sport. If... you want to be friends with Laud, please, I won't stand in the way." She softly coughed into a hoof. "I am not... emotionally prepared to speak on other things, nor do I think you are."
Lyra began to color rapidly, catching the implications easily. "Y-yeah, I get that... So... Really? We're giving up."
Bon Bon pointed to Laud. "He made a decision. I... will not fall back on any law that says a stallion's word is to be ignored in cases like this. That... is a step too far. I..." She glanced up at him. "I respect him, and that means not forcing this. Those two statements cannot exist together."
Laud nodded as he rose up to his full height. "Thank you, Bon Bon. Lyra, do you understand and agree?"
Lyra threw up her hooves. "Well, if I didn't, I'd be the only one, and that would be super awkward."
Laud put a hand gently on her head, his fingers rubbing through her mane around her horn. "But do you agree, whether or not you will go along with it?"
Lyra reached up and put her hooves on his arm, holding it. "Are you upset at me? I could have... stopped this before it started."
Laud continued the soft petting. "It was a failure, but one you have recognized, and will avoid in the future. It is also done. No, I'm not upset with you. Are you in agreement?"
Lyra let her hooves slide off of his arms and return to the ground. "Then I want to be friends. We can, uh... consider... other things later." She perked an ear at Twilight. "So, uh... you're alright with this?"
"The idea of royal consorts entertaining a paramour on the side is not entirely unknown." Twilight's eyes darted skywards and away. "Not that I thought I would be... living it... Regardless! If we are in agreement?"
Mayor Mare approached at a trot. "I hope everypony is minding themselves here. This isn't a chance for any fighting between the proper events."
Laud ran his hand in an arc across all three potential wives. "I have made a choice."
Mayor Mare blinked with obvious confusion. "I hadn't asked for one in the last round. Who did you favor?"
Laud moved in two easy steps to be beside Twilight. "She will become my wife and we will do our people proud. We will face the challenges that threaten their security together."
Mayor Mare's ears flipped back against her face. "I... see." Her eyes darted to Lyra and Bon Bon. "This is most irregular, and I've been reading up on the process in preparation for my duty today. Do you contest this? It is well within your right to do so."
Lyra shook her head quickly. Bon Bon dipped her head in a more proper fashion. "We yield to his wishes. We will remain available, as friends."
Twilight stepped towards the couple. "I accept this decision." Her eyes were on them squarely. "I wish to thank them, both of you. You... helped clarify a lot of things for me." She raised a hoof to her chest. "Let's do our best, all of us. I feel increasingly certain that we will see this through, with friends and family close at hoof. With friends like these, we can overcome any challenge that may appear."
Lyra quirked a smile. "Spoken like a true princess of friendship." She suddenly threw her arms around Twilight, pulling the princess closer. "Come over here!" She buried her face into Twilight's neck even as the alicorn's wings shot out. "You better take care of him. He likes to act all big and tough but he has feelings too."
Bon Bon threw a leg over Lyra, pulling her away from the startled Twilight. "As do you. I'm going to make you a special treat when we get home."
Lyra gasped with a radiant smile. "You don't mean?!"
"I do," confirmed Bon Bon, her brows wagging suggestively.
Lyra squealed as she ran off, departing the conversation in a flurry of hooves.
Laud watched after her before he looked back at Bon Bon. "Did I just watch a... solicitation?"
Bon Bon's brows fell before her eyes rolled. "Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm going to make her a candy I know she loves and I don't make very often. It takes forever, but I say she's earned it today."
And contest... aborted. I feel certain some of you will be happy, and some of you... less so.
How did I handle this arc? Rip me to shreds in the comments below.
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Not my preferred result, but it's consistent with what we've seen of Laud's character.
Twilight might actually outlive him after which she would be free to choose who she wants. I am not entirely happy about this outcome since Twilight never chose for this union but it doesn't ruin the story. Discord's entrance and introduction is needed since I doubt the humans will react positively to the Spirit of Chaos.
I'm one of the people happy about this development! (Indeed, it feels like this chapter was written for me, in a sense.) I'm surprised it went Twilight's way, but not disappointed.
I'm not sure what the point of this arc was, after you hit the 'abort' button. It doesn't feel like anything that happened in the contest really mattered, and if Laud was going to go "I'm not a prize to be fought over, and Twilight's the best political choice, so that's what's going to happen", why didn't he just do that upfront?
Sorry Lyra. Some ponies are destined to be wives, and some ponies are destined to be mistresses. You were just not important enough to be the first.
I feel a bit less guilty about skimming this arc, since it doesn't seem to have gone anywhere. I'm a little disappointed that the first time the ponies are giving any real agency in the story is brushed aside, but I was never really invested in the outcome of this contest to begin with.
This outcome definitely makes the most sense, Twilight is the better choice politically speaking and anything else can be figured out when they are not dealing with a first contact scenario.
Well that was... disappointing. Like others have said, I'm not sure what the point of this arc was. This chapter pretty much invalidated the whole thing, and none of the characters even had any sort of emotional or character growth through it all. It especially downplayed Lyra's feelings to the point that it honestly seems like she didn't have any emotional attachment to Laud to begin with.
8987007
Twilight's initial choice should have been respected especially if your going to go down this rout, you basically reconnected the decision (or lack there of.) Twilight made in the earlier chapters by doing this. If anything he should have gone through with the contest to it's finish as a political sign of support for the local culture. Instead you are now basically putting the ponies in an inferior position similar to the Shantor, and ensuring that future arrivals will have no need respect the local customs and policies.
Finally something that made sense. I wasn't sure if Laud would simply go with it. As he said, and I commented on it last chapter, he isn't some price to win.
Now I am curious how Paul and Celestia will take it. For me it seemed like Celestia hoped that her friends, Lyra and BonBon would get Twilight out of it, but Laud made a final decision. And then there are the other bearers and especially Starlight, who made it her mission to stop Twilight from "being stupid". Hope she can accept their decision like an adult and doesn't try another scheme like the last.
this is shit
Felt kind of meandering probably best that it was aborted below the story showed down too much. That said I was hoping Lyra would win. At least she gets tasty treats.
8987090
I see your point but not why it is replied to me. It seems more of a general comment rather than a reply.
Pity it had to fit in 20 minutes, but DHX wouldnt run to making the competition a double episode?
Still, shows the House beats Equestria in the first round, now to see who Paul the coach brings in for second hitter?
I sincerely hope that Celestia is going to be upset with Twilight about this.
Keep in mind, I am a terrible person though... *Waits anxiously for the next chapter.*
8987119
I think I meant to reply to you but got stuck at some point then ran on a tangent.
Twilight's actions are consistent with her character, which is to say, her desire to please and impress Celestia will always override any and all ethical considerations. And if she perceives herself as starting to fail, she will rapidly spiral into panic attacks and extreme behavior.
Tfw the the entire forced marriage bullshit is celestias fault
Anticlimactic, but that's okay. I'd already figured out that the winner didn't matter much anyway, because friendship is magic.
8987314
Too bad this will probably the opposite, if Celestia was hoping her friends would get her out ifvthis,
Well now the decision is his, and he's made it, and that can be all the difference needed.
Keep going! ;)
Actually it's the idea of one spouse is actually the thing that is a fad. In fact, in comparison to human history, it's been around for only a small part of it. PologamY is much more common in human history than monogamy.
8987456
Are we going back 100, 200 years? Are we pushing past before most of what we consider a society existed? How long is this 'fad'?
I'm of two minds. On one hand Laud made the logical decision. On the other hand logic often takes a back seat in affairs of the heart.
8987497
It's only a fad if it goes away, so monogamy isn't really a fad as a change of priority to better advantage the female and her children, at least in humans. Polygamy favors the male partner, which is why in 99% of multiple marriages it's one man and multiple women, it allows the man to produce multiple offspring and have multiple caregivers for them in the form of his wives. The females and their children gain only a portion of the male's support and attention. In a monogamous relationship the female and her children receive all of the male's support and an attention. In modern times child mortality is much much less to more resources can be commuted to fewer offspring with the knowlage the child won't die before adult hood. Also Monogamy is easier because spouses don't need to compete for attention. So in modern times monogamy is more worthwhile and less complicated.
Remember just because things used to be different doesn't mean the old way was better (or the new way is better for that matter).
8987874
You appear to be answering the other person, but replying to me, which feels odd?
8987878
Might be a slight crossed wire, but I feel the logic is sound. For humans the shift toward monogamy is less a fad and more a response to lower child mortality rates and favoring the female partner more. Can't say for sure it's the same for ponies.
8987888
Yes, sure, but I wasn't the one that called it a fad.
I like how Twilight is explicitly acknowledged to have knowledge of Bon Bon's secret agent status. It's a thing I'd like to see in the show, what with Twilight being a princess for some time now.
For the record, I will state that I am displeased with this outcome. I politely demand that you void Laud's marriage to Twilight somehow. Um, that is, if you don't mind me demanding things... eep.
Celestia, for Twilight's sake, do something! I don't care if you have to throw the sun at Paul, Twilight's happiness and emotional well-being is important too! Surely you, an immortal being with over 1000 years of experience in the political game, can think of something. Please, for Twilight.
Welp, looks like my attachment to Twilight is making itself known. But I shall not concede on my stand. I blame Paul, so I shall think of Paul what most everyone else seems to think of Flash Sentry.
P.S. Sorry if this seems petulant, but I really wish that Twilight's own wishes are respected. I do acknowledge that some drama is necessary from time to time, but this hit me hard, so I decided to express my opinion.
Seeing as Pinkie is a pony, shouldn't it be foreleg? It is Pinkie, however, so I won't question it if she suddenly sprouted arms.
arc?
8988060
The forelegs of basically every animal is an arm, but I switched it to foreleg.
A horse has two arms, but no hands.
8988182
Well, arm is more convenient to write than foreleg.
i admit i did not see this out come but this work out super good.
Ah, seems like the Progeny of the Hawkwood lost his nerve. Sad, but not something which cannot be expected of such weak house.
This will reflect badly on ponies, Hawkwood and this marriage in the future.
Edit:
Laud could have acted sternly about this, but failed to do so. And now in middle of competition he calls it off? This has no honor.
Interesting how a polygamous society can accept paramours easier than not. Makes sense, too.
I wonder though if Twilight will be willing to get physical with Laud. Lyra certainly seems to be.
8987314
ok, why do you get 3 thumbs up, for saying something that when I said it, got a crapload of thumbs DOWN?
I call complete and utter Bullshit.
8988041
Unfortunately, this is just the first of many things that the ponies are going to have to "compromise" on. It's been made clear that the Equestrians have basically no leverage, militarily or economically; they're best bet is to hunker down and hope that there is still something left when the invaders are through with properly exploiting them.
8989959
How about Magically? Or Fluttershy could just ask Discord to do something. But that would defeat the whole point of this story, I suppose. Besides, Discord doesn't like to make sense.
We can also go Meta – plot armor, plot weapons, deus ex machinas, the list goes on. Yes, that might just work.
But this is all moot if the author doesn't want to go that way, though. I suppose we can only wait and see. But unless we encounter a plot twist, common sense dictates that this will end either in the ponies' favor or with the ponies having an equal standing. But that's perfectly fine, after all, don't they say, "The journey is more important than the destination"?
8990038
The author said somewhere in the comments that the ponies would have no defense against a human bombardment. As for Discord, he's not in this story; his name hasn't shown up even once, so we can probably assume he doesn't matter.
Basically, the ponies have to do whatever the humans say, or face destruction. And since even the "good" humans are looking to exploit their labor and resources, this isn't going to end well for them.
8988926
No, she won't, at least for now. This is a marriage of politics, not a marriage of love. Twilight doesn't have any feelings for Laud that will make her want go get physically intimate with him. There is, however, a chance that she'll develop said feelings in the future. I don't know what the chances of such a thing actually occurring are, and although I want to say "very low," I have to admit I am a biased party, so I cannot make an impartial prediction.
8990056
Welp, looks like it's up to plot devices now.
If only the humans were like those of Stardust.
8990239
Plot devices, as in "pulled out of a..." you mean?
8990320
You dirty bastard.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
8990337
What? I was referring to the tendency of writers (though not this particular one) to pull the solution to their characters' problems out of their plots.
What was the term, deus ex plotina was it?
And Pinkie does the same thing, only with her mane. Every. Damn. Episode. So of course she would approve.
Sure, I see the dirty meaning, now, after you've pointed it out, but 1: I don't think of Pinkie Pie that way; she'd be more of a crazy honorary sister type if I plonked down in Equestria somehow, and 2: takes one to know one
8990356
If you could explain this sentence a little more clearly for me, please? Forgive me, I'm a little confused as to what it means. (Also, does the "their" point to the writers or the characters? I'm assuming writers.)
To question Pinkie is the road to Madness. With a capital M.
He, he... misunderstandings, riiight?
Good to see you have something if you plonk down in Equestria – I'm sure Pinkie will accept you just right away, after of course the mandatory party.
If I myself plonk down on Equestria, I'll first (gently) ask Fluttershy for a hug, and then go meet Twilight in order to... well, meet her.
8990360
"Deus ex machina" (translation: "god in the machine") is an old, old, ooooollllllld trope, going way back to the ancient Greek theater traditions, wherein an actor playing a literal god would be lowered onto the stage via a crane to magically solve all the problems so the play could wrap up.
It's used today to describe any plot device introduced at random to suddenly make it possible to surmount the previously insurmountable odds facing the protagonist.
Like the "computer virus" in Independence Day, or the "rainbow power" that popped up out of nowhere to defeat Tirek
Sometimes referred to as the power of "handwavium" as well.
And Bookicorn is Best 'Corn.
I literally live in a private library. We would get along like ink and paper.
8990367
I know what "deus ex machina" means, and it's origins too. The power of Wikipedia.
I can agree with you on that. My favorite ponies are Twilight and Fluttershy, after all.
I think I'm jealous.
P.S. This conversation might be better held over PM. Wouldn't want to flood the comment section, after all.
I can't say that i liked that outcome, especially since it makes the last .. 10ish chapters more or less obsolete since they were about the whole arranged wedding (which i still consider as utter out of character disrespect from Celestias side, especially in how it was communicated) and the plans to avoid it as well as a whole contest around those plans which as of this chapter lead this arc to a complete dead end that did not tell us more than we already knew 9 - 10 chapters ago.
One ancient archaic law/custom nullified by another sounded like a good moral lesson, the current outcome.. well i would be lying if i said that i am unsure how to feel about it.