Fading Suns: A New World

by David Silver

47 - Shotgun Wedding

Twilight walked away from the main room, her stepping a little stiff despite her efforts to assume a more natural gait. "Something wrong?" asked a familiar female voice. Twilight looked up to see Starlight descending towards her on the stairs. "You look awful."

Twilight pointed back where she had come from with a hoof. "Celestia just... arranged my marriage. I didn't even know that was a thing ponies did anymore..."

Starlight's brows rose in unison. "She did what now?" she said in a surprised and angry shout. "Where is she? I'll give her a piece of--"

Twilight popped her hoof into Starlight's fuming mouth. "No! No... She's the princess, after all, so--"

Starlight stepped to the side, freeing herself of the plugging hoof. "Newsflash, you are also a princess. You get back in there and you tell her she can get married herself if she's that eager to see a wedding!"

Twilight paled at the very idea. "I can't do that! She's... Celestia!"

"She is that," agreed Starlight with a little nod. "She's also wrong. You are not getting married unless you want to. Why is she doing this anyway? This isn't like her."

"It's about..." Twilight glanced aside toward a knot of humans closer to the entrance of the castle. "It's about them. She wants a blood tie to make our position 'clear and official'."

Starlight hiked a brow. "He's made friends with several ponies. Just about any of them would be less destroyed than you being assigned to this. I mean, hay, why not Mau--No, wait, she has a boyfriend now. Wasn't Lyra hot for him? Why not her?"

Twilight rolled a hoof in the air. "She... swore to be eternal friends."

"Friends are spouses that haven't taken the last step," argued Starlight. "Still sounds like she's a better pick for this than you are. You are a princess. You have responsibilities."

"And one of those," argued Twilight with a little frown. "One of those happens to be to ensure the peace of our people."

Starlight rolled a hoof. "And his marrying you, specifically, does that?"

Spike leaned against Twilight, fixing Starlight evenly. "I think they want him hooked up with somepony important, rather than just any old pony."

Starlight clopped a hoof to her face. "Right, so, why isn't Celestia throwing herself into the fire if she thinks it's such a good idea?"

Twilight's mane twanged, a few strangs going askew. "You can't be serious! Him, with... her?! No! I'll... keep her from that." She pushed past Starlight suddenly, ascending the stairs. "I need some time."

Spike watched her go before his gaze went back to Starlight. "So... we're going to save her, right?"

"Right." Starlight smiled a wicked little smile. "Let's fix this." She grabbed Spike in her magic and set him atop her. "Let's go. Are the other girls aware of this?"

"They're being told right now."

"Great. Let's put our heads together. I'm sure they won't be any more eager to let this stand." Starlight strode from the castle, passing the soldiers without even glancing at them.

It didn't take long to assemble the girls, but there was an extra member. Rarity cocked a brow at the intruder. "Pardon, darling. I don't mean to be rude, but..." She rolled a hoof. "I don't recall inviting you here."

Bon Bon smiled gently. "This is S.M.I.L.E.-related. I know we don't often call on you, but I am now. This is a matter of grave importance." The fact that she wanted to help her marefriend was a happy side-effect. "I am here to lend a hoof."

Applejack matched Rarity's expression with that extra dash of experience. "Ah thought they just trusted us to do our jobs jus' fine on our own?"

Bon Bon rolled a hoof. "Of course, and we do, but this is an urgent matter. I'm here to help, not order any of you around, I promise."

Rainbow circled over them with an angry huff. "Yeah yeah yeah! Enough talk. If Bon Bon wants to be angry at this too, fine. Welcome to the club B--"

"Agent Sweetie Drops," corrected Bon Bon. "I am on-duty."

"Yeah, fine that." Rainbow rolled her eyes. "You're such a pro, what do you know?"

"I know that the target has already expressed interest in a political marriage." She crossed her forehooves, leaning back on her hind legs. "I know he'd prefer a relationship to be more than political advantage, but he is also entirely willing to do what will benefit his people." She thrust a hoof up. "I am also increasingly certain he considers us 'his people', like a father looking on his foals. He feels it is his responsibility."

Fluttershy raised a hoof timidly. "He seems... like a nice enough po--"

Applejack pointed at Fluttershy, cutting her off. "He ain't even a pony."

Pinkie shook her head. "No one that can enjoy a slice of cake like that can not be a pony. He's just a pony with fingers, and a funny accent."

Rarity smiled gently. "I find myself in agreement with Pinkie. Despite his outward quirks, he is a refined noble and acts like a gentlepony if ever there was one." Her eyes shifted to Spike. "Well, at least one of two I know."

Spike smiled awkwardly a moment but hopped up to his feet. "Yeah, he's a good person. I mean, um, he was just as surprised as Twilight was. This wasn't his idea. I mean... I don't think he'll say no to the other one, Paul? But it's not his first pick."

Bon Bon leaned forward. "I have an idea. It will involve some personal sacrifice, but it could work." All eyes turned towards Bon Bon expectantly. "Lyra has already had interactions with him, and swore eternal friendship. A little nudging from her friend could push her over the edge, especially with news that he may be lost forever..." She made a pushing motion with her hooves. "If we get her to come out and confess her desire for him..."

Rarity shook her head firmly. "Celestia already declared them betrothed, darling. That isn't something you cancel easily. Twilight has first dibs on him, and that mare won't let him go unless Celestia says to do so. She is quite stubborn about that sort of thing."

Bon Bon clapped her hooves together. "But we have the law on our side."

Applejack blinked softly. "This I wanna hear. How's the law on our side when one of the ponies involved is Celestia, and she ain't on our side?"

Bon Bon fell to all fours and coiled back, pulling out a weighty tome that she let drop with a loud thud to the grass between them. "The laws of Equestria are vast and terrifying. Most don't even try to keep up to date on them, and that works well enough. We know what's nice, and what's not nice, and we act accordingly. It works more often than not." She tapped the book with a hoof and a cunning smile. "That hasn't erased the laws."

Rainbow rolled a hoof impatiently. "Get to the point already! What crazy old law are you planning on using?"

Bon Bon nosed the book open and flipped with her muzzle until she found the page she was after. The bookmark made the flipping easier to aim. "Here we are. In the event of a single mare and a single stallion becoming betrothed, a herd of mares may issue challenge. If they can demonstrate superior skill at caring for the stallion--"

"Darling!" Rarity was pink across her face. "That sounds dreadfully antiquated! A modern mare simply does not look at a stallion that way!"

Pinkie bobbed her head. "Yeah, that sounds... kinda odd."

Rainbow snickered at that. "You know it's good when Pinkie thinks it's odd."

Spike hiked a thumb at Bon Bon. "Forget that. You said a 'herd of mares'. Do we have one of those waiting to get in line to get married to Laud? I mean..."

"We do." Bon Bon nodded. "I can talk Lyra into it, I feel certain. For the good of Equestria, I will play my part." The others stared at her as if she were offering to jump into a volcano for their benefit. She did not correct them. She tapped at the open book meaningfully. "This challenge cannot be denied. A herd can always challenge a lone mare."

Rarity's nose was still scrunched in distaste. "Ugh, so tasteless. We've moved on past such barbaric times, darling."

Applejack raised a hoof. "Yeah, I mean that's true an' all, but this is fer Twilight's sake. Besides, the way I see it, if we make a big deal about this, we save Twilight, and they'll take this law right out of the books faster than a cat after tuna."

Fluttershy nodded softly. "I'd hate to think a group of mares could... do that if I... found... someone special..."

Pinkie thrust a hoof at Bon Bon. "Good thing we have a secret agent right here, ready to leap into action." She clapped her hooves with a loud clop. "Good thinking, Bonnie."

Bon Bon blushed softly. "Only Lyra can call me that."

Pinkie tilted her head. "Good job, you already sound like a herd."

Bon Bon only grew darker. "Anywho, I think we're all in agreement?" She slapped the book once more. "We pull out the law, issue our challenge, and win the right to marry Laud away from Twilight, freeing her from this. Their superior, Mister Hawkwood himself, won't be able to say a thing. He doesn't look like the kind of pony that questions laws either. We do it by the book." She ran her hoof over that very book. "Let them change it, after we're done."

---

Twilight jumped at a knocking at her door. It sounded like a human knocking, or possibly a dragon knocking. It was not a pony's knock. "Who is it?" she called as she turned to face it.

"It's Laud... Twilight."

He hadn't called her by her last name. Twilight tensed at the realization. "Um, come... in."

The door opened just wide enough for him to slip inside and close the door behind himself. "I just wanted to make it clear that this isn't my idea. I will not insist you do anything you don't want to do. We can live apart if you prefer."

Twilight blinked softly. "I'm not upset about you living in the castle. You were doing that before... this." She quirked a little smile. "Really, Laud, you haven't done anything wrong. However this goes, I trust we will remain friends."

"I would hope that as well." He bowed formally towards her. "It would be a shame to have that ruined by political machinations. We both want what's best for our people, so let us be united in that, and work in accordance to their needs. As royalty, we both understand this."

"Y-yes, we do." She nodded as she rose up to her hooves and began walking towards the balcony. "This must be twice as strange for you."

"Hmm?"

Twilight looked over her shoulder. "However bizarre this... entire thing is, the idea of two people of... different species potentially being wed isn't entirely alien to me. It sounds like, to humans, only humans are considered."

Laud shook his head as he approached her, moving to stand beside her, the wind tussling their hair out on the balcony. "I was raised with the idea that I would find a fine and brave woman someday to carry my legacy onwards in our children, but that was secondary to being a good Hawkwood. If I was asked to die for the good of my people, I would do that. This is a far sight less... of a sacrifice... Besides, though we are not yet certain, you may be much more human than you appear."

Twilight fixed Laud in her gaze without looking at him, one of her large side-set eyes easily trained on him despite her looking straight ahead. "I can't promise I'll be the woman you hope for, Laud. I'm just a unicorn." She raised a hoof to her chest. "I am Twilight Sparkle. It is nice to meet you, husband-to-be."

Laud offered a hand towards her. "I am Laud Mountbatten. It is nice to meet you, wife-to-be." Her hoof came and they met in a quiet moment of understanding.

Author's Note:

Bon Bon is all over this! Did you know the Mane 6 is a subset of S.M.I.L.E.? Doesn't come up much, but there ya go! The commissioner of a story had their story done, and is currently donating their weekly updates to this story!

Want this story updated faster? Want to get your own story written? Want to just support the author in his writing? Join the atreon!

Join my discord to chat!

Comments

[ShadwSonic]

Ah, so there WAS someone "like me" to deal with the issue! Excellent!

[Anachronon]

I'm just a unicorn

Silly Twilight, you are an alicorn.

And to the "duell" thing. First, they assume Twilight will forever be grateful without even making sure she doesn't want to. Second, a unicorn and an Earth pony against an alicorn and the Bearer of the Element of Magic...

Yeah, the odds are completely on their side.

[Booster Spice]

As usual the various political parties are making their own plans without knowing what others are doing?

Laud:Twilight.
Twilight:Laud
Discord:Papa.

[Xaldon Ajide]

I hope lyra wins. also Twilight would be better off as eternal friend. Or Queen of friendzone!

[VikingOtaku6]

The Element Bearers actually belong to a separate agency called F.R.O.W.N.

[David Silver]

8879662
Yes, yes they do, which S.M.I.L.E. considers to be a subsidiary. Bon Bon is taking advantage of this and pushing. Twilight might have pushed back more, but she wasn't there.

[VikingOtaku6]

8879711
Excellent; I've always been a fan of such things. Seriously, the protag using the laws against their adversary? Always gets me.

[harts fire]

bon bon best move fast if she is going to get the challenge filed and recognized.

[lordelliott]

"In the event of a single mare and a single stallion becoming betrothed, a herd of mares may issue challenge. If they can demonstrate superior skill at caring for the stallion--"

How the heck do they even judge that, and who'd be the judge? Can Cadence, as Princess of Love, claim jurisdiction over Celestia? Or maybe it's just a local council that gets formed? So many possibilities!

8879229
Maybe she still thinks of herself as a unicorn? That got me too.

[son_of_heaven176]

SMILE? Context, please.

[Mlp___Insanity_is_Magic]

8880085
season 5 episode 9, slice of life

[tsaukpaetra]

So they're going to run a gauntlet?
A herd of two is still a herd, we suppose...
Keep going! ;)

[Earthpatriot117]

Oh god, this will end....not so Well! Lol

[Comnislasher]

8879662
Um, no. It's just a SMILE inside joke. SMILE tend to use M6 as their own strike team (while M6 don't even know that someone uses them) and so they give them this nickname. It's a "Friendship Rangers of Worldwide Negotiation" or something like this.

[Midknight Defender]

8879229

Now, now, let's not be tribalist.

What we have here is a bard and a confectioner-slash-secret-agent-monster-hunter versus a bookworm and a magical powerhouse.

Bard and bookworm both have excellent lore stats, for knowledge of how to care for his mental and emotional well being, and secret-agent-slash-monster-hunter and magical powerhouse cancel out for protecting him from danger.

So what it all comes down to in the end, the final question that will decide this: can Twilight cook?!

The way to a stallion's heart is through his stomach, don'cha'know?

And if Twilight really objects to their attempt to "win" him, she can always offer to merge herds.

[David Silver]

8887733
Would a single person suffer me to live if I did that?

[Midknight Defender]

8887774

Phht. People don't matter, only ponies!

Besides, Twibon is an ultra rare ship that makes no logical sense. It's perfect!

[titanhades70]

8879229
Yeah. If it was Starlight, it'd be an entirely different matter. Lyra is no Starlight, though.

Good to see Starlight trying to free her very special somepony from this arranged marriage.

Can't help it, that season 8 premier did nothing but feed into my favorite ship, TwiStar.

derpicdn.net/img/2018/3/24/1689483/large.png

derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/3/24/1689238__safe_screencap_starlight+glimmer_twilight+sparkle_school+daze_spoiler-colon-s08e02_alicorn_animated_hug_pony_twilight+sparkle+%28alicorn%29_un.gif

[DDDDDDDDD23]

but will his people accept this?

[FridayPie]

8891009
Well , design for a public place or for a shop maybe different; it is governed by different regulations and needs. Though, in old times they nearly never did that in town areas. Door opening to outside would block walkway or will open onto steps. Making porches usually was forbidden, walkway would be too narrow for that, room might be too cramped to make door "sunk" into the building.

Actually by laws of my city making sunken front door or make it open so it would block walkway is forbidden. They get away by making dual doors , the outer part can be opened and locked in place, while inner opens outward.

[lolitsjack]

Bon bon gonna cause all ponies to get subjugated. Good job.

[_SkyHorse]

Applejack matched Rarity's expression with that extra dash of experience. "Ah though they just trusted us to do our jobs jus' fine on our own?"

Should be "thought."

Holy typos, Batman!

[RDDash]

If ponies truly moved away from such barbaric times Rarity, then Celestia shouldn't throw Twilight into bonfire. Starlight has a point.