The Fight
White's POV
"Say White, how dare you trying to eat a princess without me.." he said with a grin. He's right, I tried to eat Twilight before.
"Ace.." I said quietly. His rinkaku are upright, i knew it...he's trying to pick up a fight with me..
"Twilight! go run for your..."I was shocked to see she was not there.
"Looking for your precious princess.." I turned and saw Twilight was coiled by one of his tentacles.
"Should I devour her or not ?" he licked Twilight. "Stop it you pervert!" she said after being licked.
"Don't you dare do that again!!!" I burst out in anger summoned my kagune and attack him. I aim to stab him in the chest but he blocked it. Ace grined and attacked with his tentacles, but I was too fast for his attacks. I know Ace couldn't attack with full speed when he is holding Twilight with one of his tentacles.
(Heh, you maybe too fast for my attacks but I know what will slow you down..) Ace thought. He licked Twilight's ear.
"Ahhhh!!!" Twilight screamed. I stopped and got hit by Ace's tentacles.
"Not bad for a bikaku you got some skills.." he grinned. My vision is blurry, and I'm too weak to move.. No I must save Twilight from Ace.. I tried to move but I can't go any further.
"Let me go pervert!!" Twilight struggled.
"You really don't know how to quit aren't you..princess." Ace threw Twilight to the ground. Leaving her unconcious.
"Bam!!" I heard a smashing sound and everything went black.
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Um, not wanting to be rude seeing how this is your first story, but this really needs a lot of work done on it. You keep switching from POV to many times in the first chapter which is kind of putting me off, the chapters are a too short, and it seems a bit rushed from what I can tell.
8428446
I know right this fanfic was a bit rushed. In the first chapter I don't really read through the whole chapter before submitting it. I think I'll edit that later... Btw thanks for pointing out some errors in my story..
8428848
You're Welcome
Great story continue it please