Sparky_the_pony
Joined 20th Aug, 2015 ·
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Then why don't you have a second-person and anthro tag?
also:
>second-person
>self-insert OC with main 6
>main 6 stripping
>I wrote this for a friend
7939419
Thanks for the comment, I added the tags. Sorry, didn't notice them before. Still new here.
Is the rest of your comment just a critique that you don't like this kind of story? I know it's not for everyone, but I just wanted to put it online to get a bit of response. I'm sure there must be some people who'd enjoy it.
7945714 The second part of my comment is indeed my dislike for the base components of your story. Myself and many others despise many of the things I mentioned with my bullet points, mainly being 2nd person perspective, OC with main 6, and the main 6 being "OOC" or out of character, meaning they don't AT ALL act like how they do in the show.
Getting the main 6 to be themselves without having it feel forced as well as making it work for your story is a hard task, one many fail at. That's why I don't write about them.
7945722
Good points, thanks. I certainly don't put myself anywhere near the level of those who can make a convincing story involving the main 6 acting totally in-character. I'm just a trashy smut writer ;)
Odd, there are more downvotes than upvotes. (presses the upvote) It's a fairly well written erotic fic. I've been looking for some Anthro Strip club fanfics and yours fits the bill perfectly.
My only teeny disappointment is that the 2nd person insert didn't include the guy f3@$ing Pinkie's Brains out right before leaving. She was the most enticing of all the gals, the way you described her.