Topside
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WHY IS MY NAME (ALMOST) ON A CLOPFIC?!
I absolutely love this story.
Please update soon
5961789 I cannot fully comment on this. ...okay, I can; it was a working title and I was dead-tired when I put the finish on it and submitted it so it stayed.
5961806 Aheheh. W-well, this is somewhat embarrassing; as the description says this is intended to be a one-shot. I keep telling myself it's a one-shot because I have nowhere else I currently intend to go with it. I'm going to update its status to completed...but that's not to say inspiration won't end up having me write more for it. I mean, I keep trying to get inspired to continue my other two tales, and that's when this happened!
Inspiration is a fickle mistress.
Thanks for the comments errypony!
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Don't worry, it's okay. I'm just surprised.
Hmm, is Sombra trying to make himself a new body he can later reincarnate into?
I certainly wouldn't put it past him...
Anyway, I enjoyed the read and will be hoping for another round some time in the future
5962408 Hadn't really considered that all that much. I suppose anything is possible when you're dealing with an uber-powerful, dark-magic-wielding unicorn that's cheated death the way some ponies make trips to Sugarcube Corner. I still don't (currently) have plans to continue this but again, if I get enough material to do more with, I will.
I suppose if there's curiosity, the spoiler'd text to follow is my current thoughts on how this would play out if continued.
Sombra is totally out there, physically manifested, laying low. The night was very real for our second-person mare. The pendant isn't some vessel, phylactery or device for bringing himself back. He just found his way into the head and the bed of a mare that was giving off all of the right signals, and he's left her with the trinket as a sort of mark. "This one is mine," it says. She could take it off...but she won't, save for bathing. And maybe, just maybe, she'll run across somepony else wearing one to match, their eyes will meet, and they will know.
...dammit. Okay, show of hooves, who/what should his next conquest be/have been? Another earth mare? Pegasus? Griffon? Changeling, if Sombra really wants to (literally) stir up the hive? No promises but I'm considering inspiration fuel at this point.
Good job! Very enjoyable
There aren't enough second person stories where you're a mare.
They are always welcome in my book! Have a like and a fav.
5964333 This. I get that it's easier to write from a comfortable, familiar perspective...but then I end up reading things like Royal Duties and I think, "This way untapped potential lies." Glad I'm not the only crazy one out there who likes this idea.
That's also enough reason that I'm strongly considering pushing forward with this one and seeing how far my inspirational steam takes me, and this yarn. I'm happy with this as a one-shot. If I can make it a full-fledged story with at least a somewhat interesting plot? I'll be
ing ecstatic. I may or may not have the start of another chapter written out already.
Sombra is a very sexy specimen for clopfics, very nice cloppyness.
I have a thing for wings, so put my hoof toward the Pegasus/Griffon camp for "next cute thing sombra has fun with".
Batpony would be fine too.
Good story, well made and I don't see enough story's with a Females POV, I like it.
5968642 LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO.
...I'm honestly surprised I didn't realize the potential to go this route right out the gates. It's one of my favored pairings, and...well, I could go into even more detail about why it's a good choice here, but I'll let that come on its own time. Giggity.
Yes!
Ehem. I mean, I really like that you're going to continue this story.
5983418 Glad you're still enjoying!
I feel kinda bad because I started this out thinking there wasn't anything else I could do with the tale, or at least convincing myself of it...then a fairly innocuous qusetion by 5962408 has me spin half of the opening in a single comment.
It feels like false advertisement in a way, but at the same time, if I keep having fun writing it, everypony enjoys reading it, and it's not spiraling out of control into Chris "What Am I Doing" Carter territory with no plan? Well, by the flanks of the moon, I'm gonna keep going!
Great chapter.
This is getting interesting.
Sombrashy is a good pairing.
Any reason why this is in the Updated feed with no updates?
6011508 That was, unfortunately, my
. I clicked "publish" instead of "edit" when drumming up a new chapter. 
However, said chapter is pretty much done. Giving it one more read-through for quality and I'll be posting it prolly within the hour. Sorry for the false alarm, everypony!
Great chapter. I'm excited to see how Smbra met Shy.
Oh my... I finally got to it an read through the current chapters and, Topside, dear friend, you do not disappoint. The female POV is really good and I wouldn't mind seeing more stories use that. The first chapter was fantastic and I really liked how you made Sombra appear so mysterious and seductive, still maintaining his villainous mannerisms while being appearantly sweet and caring for Bluebell. This might very well be my #1 favorite Sombra story - EVER. It really tickled me just the right way, you know.
And while I can totally see how you originally was going for a one-shot, I'm instantly happy that you keep going with this. The second chapter was quite entertaining but it was the third one that really made my curiousity peak and I can't wait to learn how Fluttershy met Sombra. And hopefully you'll provide me with answers all the questions popping up in my mind now, like; What is Sombra up to? What will all this mean for Bluebell and Fluttershy? Will even more mares be claimed by the dark king?
Great work so far, darling... sorry for taking so long to finally come to it and actually read and comment on it.
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Glad everypony is enjoying!
That is indeed the focus of the next chapter, or possibly two. I had a good chunk of it written out, and it seemed alright in my head except for one glaring detail that a close friend and pre-reader pointed out...which sort of derailed the whole thing. I'm heavy on perspective, and this change recolours that element of perspective completely in the opening scenes. I've not scrapped it as the pieces have their uses, and will not really affect the progression of the tale, but it has put a slight setback into my attempt to get a new chapter out soon.
That and industrial-grade pseudoephedrine. How I write anything in this state is beyond me.
Sombrashy is an adorable ship, for sure.
Nice to see Sombra's recollection of his return. Hope to see how he and Fluttershy bonded with each other.
How's the story doing?
6284275 It does live! Sorry for leaving this idle for so long. It's been a rocky couple of months, culminating with the loss of a very close friend. I've actually got a good part of the next chapter already written; I just need to pick up and add a bit more to it and I think I'll be happy enough with posting it. Stay tuned, and thanks as always for reading!
This chapter was great. I'm happy to see a SombraXRarity ship joining the fray and I love the new friendship between Fluttershy and Bluebell. Also, the dream scene was funny.
Forgot to ask, will there be an explanation on how Fluttershy hooked up with Sombra or why he's after Rarity now?
6590860 Thank you, faithful reader!
This chapter marked a couple of interesting points for me. First was that while I am eager to see Sombra and Rarity actually cross paths, I had to take a step back along with him. If he moved too quickly...well, he didn't get where he was by not being cautious. I realized, as he did, that things couldn't just happen. Sombra attempting to expedite his conquest of Rarity would backfire, and if I tried to rush events in the story without thought, I'd write myself into a corner.
Secondly I'm starting to wonder if my second-person perspective shouldn't have abandoned after the opening chapter, because it's proving beyond a challenge. Now make no mistake, I'm okay with writing challenging things; writing is allowed, and even is supposed to be challenging, but if the audience is struggling to keep up? That element needs to be ditched. The important question to all my readers becomes:
Does the perspective switch prove a challenge to read?
6600484 I actually like the way you're writing right now. I simply felt that there wasn't enough exposition on how Shy became Sombra's first conquest, but I guess that'd be explained in later chapters. Frankly, I like how you explain Sombra and Bluebell's efforts and adventures.
6600504
Oh, for certain. It's probably going to be in the next chapter I put up, that little backstory being concluded. I do hope to keep everypony equally involved in this story as well. I don't want any character just being background noise or filler, and I don't want to fall prey to the trope of having to give a character something to do--if a character needs to be given something to do, they may as well not be in the story.
When I read the name of the story, this song pops into my head:
6672900
Greeeeeat, even without clicking, that's gonna be stuck in my head now.
...I can't be upset by this.
Gotta say that I didn't expected Bluebell to get to the third base with Fluttershy so quickly...or that Fluttershy can cuss and knows the meaning of a safeword. I really like the quick update on Thanksgiving and the fact that next chapter will involve Discord. Hope to see the next chapter soon.
6672970 Hee. It's always the quiet ones you have to look out for. When the reservations drop...
With that said, maybe the Flutterthing happened a bit quickly...but the two are equally committed to the Sombra herd. It's something very much like bonding in this light. And if one can't trust their herdmates in such a fashion, who can one trust?
...so is pinkie a character tag because she was involved in the story itself or is it foreshadowing something in the future?
6682411
Well, Pinkie is Bluebell's boss, but even beyond that she's getting more and more involved. One can't find themselves involved either with the Mane Six or, especially, one of their adversaries without having the rest of the bunch close behind.
She'll have more of a part to play in chapters to come, rest assured! Though I'm not sure how well I'll do at putting Pinkie Pie in any cloppy scenes. Even after having written a Flutterclop scene which I was more than pensive about. Damned if I won't try if it comes down to it though!
This story is great! Keep up the good work!
Update?
I'm curious. Will the next chapter be updated soon? I want to see how Sombra and Shy got into a herd or how he interacts with Discord.
Nice to see this story again. Really hope the next chapters explain how Sombra and Shy fell in love.
THANK GOD IT LIVES
Real glad to see this up. And that Sombra is actually one of the most sane ponies.
7172902
Again, apologies for keeping everypony waiting, and thanks to you and all of my regular readers. Hell, I'd resumed work on this chapter not even a day before I got a notice that the fic had made it into someone's folder of "Not likely to be updated", and that was the moment that I went from "I should work on this more" to "I NEED to work on this more."
7172910
Oh, he is. And do I ever have a plan for him~
I'm so happy you made it to the featured box. Congratulations! I can't tell you how wonderful it is to see this alive again, Topside! Of the dozens and dozens of Sombra stories I've read since I first set hoof on FIMFiction, I still treasure this one in the top three of my list and often refer to it as the "smoky, sexy Sombra tale" to anyone where it comes up in discussion. Heh, I even adapted the phrase "crapbaskets", getting a giggle out of the many Sombraphiles who are my friends here on the site.
It still has me hooked. I don't often critique, preferring to go with my general gut feeling of how good a story is in how it made me feel, and I am still retaining that feeling from the earlier chapters to this new one. I love your take on Sombra. It is truly unique from all the others and works so well here - and for him.
Welcome back!
This is... still too early to make much of a determining call on what was originally a one shot, the plot is slowly coming together it seems, but we aren't sure whether Sombra means to be 'evil' this time around, or where events might be heading. That's probably what will make/break it for me. Mind you, I don't expect him to go all nice and happy on everyone, but I am hoping you don't go all evil, get revenge on princesses once I've gathered my strength.
Now, my personal opinions aside, it's not bad for a mix of 2nd person and 3rd person, and it does have promise. I'll definitely be keeping an eye on it to see just what direction it is you are taking this in. Good luck on the future writings!
7173108
Comments like this are what make me glad I have a fairly cohesive plan for this fic.
If anypony wants to just see this as it develops, do not mouse over the text below. While deliberately vague, it is still what I would consider a spoiler.
I've gone through some amount of trouble to map out not only what is going to happen in the coming days/weeks for Sombra, but what happened a thousand years ago when the Empire first disappeared. Suffice it to say, while everypony's memories are trustworthy and intact, nopony ACTUALLY knows all of what truly led up to that time...and how it could have all been avoided.
Dang, you on a roll. And this chapter was very nice to read this morning! Catch up at your leisure.
Great chapter and I'm happy that it was a double chapter. I also liked how Fluttershy cowed Discord and Sombra when they were fighting. Really hope the next chapter shows Sombra spending quality time with his mares. Hope the next chapter comes as quickly as the others.
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I do have to confess, it's going to be a bit before the next chapter. I'm writing at what seems to be a decent pace again, but this next one? I have a feeling it's going to be a large one.
And I will endeavor to make it very much worth the wait.
Yeah, there's gonna be clop.
It's nice to see this story again. Hope to see how Rarity and Sombra met each other.