Chapter 15
It was the third and final day of the festival, the end of a long and wonderful weekend. Appleloosa had to get back to work as did Twilight and her friends. The Princess Suite was crowded with sleeping bodies, save two. Amid the sleeping, snoring ponies all piled into the same bed, two figures stood out and both were standing near the window, watching as the sky turned pink.
Spike stood, his front claws resting on the windowsill, and he was just tall enough to peer out. Boomer, beside him, was perched on the windowsill itself, and her face was pressed up against the glass. Her long tail was curled around Spike’s arm and the tip of her tail twitched with happiness.
The two dragons couldn’t be more different; Boomer was a tree dragon and a wyvern by technicality. Spike was an earth dragon and one day, he would grow into a massive, lumbering land drake. Yet, for all of their differences, there were remarkable similarities. They were both dragons raised by ponies, they both struggled to fit in, and both were bonded to their companion equine in such a way that neither understood the connection, but both were aware of it.
Both were the first lines of defense for their bonded equine companion. Spike, a consummate professional, even though he was a baby dragon, micromanaged all of Twilight Sparkle’s affairs. His perfect dragon memory was the real secret behind Twilight’s success as a princess, and it was the two of them working together, covering each other’s strengths and weaknesses, that allowed Ponyville and the surrounding environs to prosper. He protected Twilight from her shortcomings and from bureaucrats wanting to waste her time.
For Boomer, the protection she offered Sumac was more straightforward. She was his literal first line of defense. Boomer was a fire breathing creature made of thick scales, sharp claws, and when she was provoked, she had a mean streak a mile wide, because she was still struggling with the advanced equine concept of ‘being nice.’ Boomer was a dragon, which meant that she was one of nature’s natural jerks. She wasn’t nearly as refined as Spike was.
“I think Twilight needed this trip,” Spike whispered to his adoring coconspirator.
“Yeah?” Intrigued, some of Boomer’s spines rose, an indicator of dragon curiousity if ever there was one.
“Now that I think about it, we all needed this trip.” Spike drummed his claw tips on the windowsill. “Boomer, I’m gonna do something bad.”
“You are?” Boomer asked.
“I am.” Spike nodded and swallowed. “We’ve drifted apart, Boomer.”
“We have?” Eyes blinking, Boomer managed to look quite sad.
“No, not you and I, Boomer… but us. All of us.” Spike gestured at the pile of ponies in the Princess Suite bed. “Boomer, dragons don’t have a roar for what we are, all of us together.
Relieved as much as she was confused, Boomer let out a gasp, pleased to know that she and Spike were still best buddies, but puzzled by Spike’s words. She didn’t quite understand what was going on, but that was okay. Spike was older and he was in charge. She didn’t need to understand what was going on, she only needed to trust in Spike. Trusting in Spike was a good idea, because Lemon Hearts said so, and Lemon Hearts was never wrong.
“I think I’m gonna start filling in time with Twilight’s friends into her schedule and take advantage of the fact that she can’t always remember the little details.” Spike let out a sigh and looked guilty. “If I tell her that she should maybe go to the spa with Rarity on a spur of the moment sort of thing, she always tells me that she can do it tomorrow. And the next day, when I make a suggestion, she says that it can be done tomorrow. Problem is, Rarity leaves for Manehattan. Or Fillydelphia. And tomorrow never comes.” The little dragon let out another dejected sigh. “Twilight never argues with the schedule though. At least, not often. If it’s written in ink, she does it. She just assumes that she told me to ink it in. There is so much power in ink.”
“This is bad?” Boomer asked, flexing her tiny clawed fingers into fists.
“Bad, but good,” Spike replied, his voice strained and cracking as it rose in pitch, but not volume. “It’s a bad thing to do, but I’m doing it for the right reasons… I think. I don’t know, but things can’t keep going on the way that they are. I’m really unhappy, Boomer. They’re my friends too, and I miss them.”
Extending his arm, Spike pointed at Sumac, who was being used as a pillow by Pebble. He looked at them for a moment, his eyes narrowed, and his tail swished from side to side behind him. “Boomer, you would keep them together, even if it meant getting in trouble, right?”
Hunching over, Boomer gave thought to Spike’s words, and she gave her tummy an absentminded scratch. Her head tilted off to one side, her spines twitched a bit, and then she replied, “Trouble with Twinkleshine?”
Cringing, Spike recoiled in horror and he slumped down to make himself look as small, helpless, and harmless as possible. A faint whine of fear could be heard, and Spike clutched his own tail, trying to comfort himself after suffering the terrible thought. With a slow turn of his head, he looked at Boomer, who was still thinking, still pondering.
Some ponies had a reputation.
“I would keep them together,” Boomer whispered to Spike, her claws twitching as she struggled to understand the complex feelings she was experiencing. Feelings were hard, and it was easier to be a jerk. Feelings required hard work, while being a jerk required no effort at all.
Nodding, Spike looked relieved. “That’s what I thought.”
Emerging from the hotel, Twilight Sparkle was surprised that her friends did not immediately rush off to do their own thing. There was a feeling of togetherness now, something that Twilight hadn’t even been aware that was missing. The gang was all here and everything felt good.
Pinkie Pie had her smile, smile, smile and a bit of a pronk in her step. Fluttershy seemed calm, collected, and confident. Rarity didn’t seem so high strung. Pebble wasn’t slouching and she walked with her head up for once, which made Twilight happy, though she couldn’t say why. As for Twilight herself, it felt as though she had been given a temporary reprieve from the crushing weight of the crown upon her head. She had her friends again, and while things weren’t quite like they were in the old days—much had changed and such changes were inevitable—but things were still pretty good.
In fact, things were great.
Twilight was ready to do some princessing after her total failure and breakdown yesterday. It was time to be the princess that the ponies of Appleloosa needed her to be. She felt regal, noble, she felt majestic. Reaching out her wing, she gave Sumac a soft slap to get his attention.
“Stop slouching,” Twilight commanded with a smile, finding it easy to begin her princess duties. A princess’ sorcerer had to look presentable, after all, and being a sullen, moody adolescent was no excuse.
Almost as if on cue, Braeburn approached, his hat pushed down over his eyes. Twilight was ready for… well, anything. After her failure at the anvil ringing competition, Twilight was ready to do anything to make up for it. Hog calling? She could do that, she had Applejack. A fashion review? She had Rarity. A pet show judge… she had Fluttershy. Twilight could do anything, just so long as she had her friends with her.
“Well, ‘allo there, Princess Twilight,” Braeburn drawled. “Ready for the big event?”
Big event? Twilight was ready. She nodded.
“You look eager… I am too.” A worried smile crossed Braeburn’s muzzle. “Cheese Sandwich just skipped town without a word why, so I guess it falls on me to announce the big event. I done reckon I won’t do anything fancy, just announce y’all as the Elements of Harmony.”
“Um, just wondering, what is the big event?” Twilight asked.
“Oh, we’s havin’ us a big ol’ quesadilla eatin’ contest,” Braeburn replied in his thick, syrupy, slow voice.
Twilight’s left eye began twitching. “What?” Her voice was reedy, almost a whine.
“A big ol’ quesadilla eatin’ contest,” Braeburn repeated. “And y’all is expected to participate. Prince Gosling, see, he done got this idea that he wants to showcase the princesses as common ponies, in touch with the common pony folk, and it was his idea to have the Elements of Harmony come to Appleloosa and join our eatin’ contest. Which is why all of you is here. Princess Luna is in Vanhoover right now, for the Flapjack Friendship and Family Festival they have.”
“I am so going to kill that prancing, puffed up peacock!” Twilight’s voice was a squeaky, strained growl. She took a step backwards, and bumped into Fluttershy, who let out a startled squeal of alarm from the sudden, unexpected contact.
“And it goes without saying,” Braeburn continued, “no using magic to cheat, no shrinking the quesadillas down to make them bite sized, no fancy tricks, just eatin’.”
Eye twitching, the corner of her mouth jerking, Twilight’s face took on an expression that Spike hadn’t seen since the Smarty Pants incident, and the little dragon panicked, clutching at his cheeks with his claws. Tugging on his face, helpless, Spike watched as his best friend had a meltdown, knowing that he was powerless to do anything about it.
“Twi?” Rainbow took a step forwards, then took a step backwards, looking fearful.
“Is something wrong?” Braeburn asked as he pushed his hat back.
“Yep!” Pinkie Pie blurted out in response, her voice sounding very chipper. Nimble-quick, she pronked out of the way as Twilight fainted and tumbled over into the dust, crushing Spike beneath her. Being a brave, noble dragon he had tried to save her just as he had tried to save Rarity, and Pinkie Pie figured she owed him a Brave, Noble Dragon Party. “Twilight Sparkle has turophobia!”
“My poor, little Spikey-Wikey!” Rarity laid him out on the bed and stuffed a fluffed-out pillow beneath his head. “Such a perfect gentledragon… to suffer the same indignity… twice… on the same trip...” Of course, she said nothing about how she had been one of the ponies responsible for crushing Spike on this trip.
“I can’t believe that you carried Spike but you made us carry Twilight!” Applejack cried as she dumped Twilight from her back and onto the bed. “Ugh, she weighs a ton! I swear, every year, she gets heavier! Why is that?”
“Alicorns get more durable as they age,” Sumac responded in a calm, nonchalant voice, and the colt was glad to have a chance to show off his knowledge. “The increased density makes them resistant to damage. Princess Celestia says body density is an earth pony power and it is how ponies like Maud and Pebble are nigh invulnerable and can punch through rocks.” Feeling eyes boring into him, the colt turned to look at his filly friend, who had a ferocious stare. “Don’t look at me like that Pebble, when I’m quoting scientific facts.”
“We can be hurt,” Pebble mumbled, “and some of us have fragile egos that we get from our father.” The filly snorted, her eyes narrowed, and she scowled. “Body density… ugh! Disgusting!”
“We have until noon to get Twilight sorted out,” Applejack said, taking charge of the situation. Turning her head about, Applejack eyeballed her own broad, well padded hips. “Well, that explains a few things, I done thought that fancy new scale I bought was a lyin’ to me.”
“No, Applejack, you’ve gotten considerably heavier as you’ve aged, I can’t even lift you with my telekinesis without straining… I, uh… ulp!” Slouching, Sumac tucked his tail between his legs and looked down at the floor, unable to bear Applejack’s suffocating glare.
“Keep talking, Smart Guy,” Applejack said to Sumac as her eyes narrowed and her ears pivoted forwards beneath her hat. “You know, there are times when it just ain’t good to be honest, and it’s better to just shut up.”
“Right,” Sumac squeaked, sounding just like a yearling.
“Me, I just got fat.” Pinkie grinned and leaned up against Applejack’s side. “It’s the sweets. Now I jiggle-wiggle when I pronk.”
“You carry it well, darling.” Rarity had a nervous smile because of this discussion about weight, and she hoped that nopony brought up or discussed her own marshmallowy body, which now required a somewhat larger, but not too much larger dress size. The best defense, Rarity found, was to be pleasant and complimentary.
Rainbow Dash extended a wing and began fanning Twilight with the hopes of reviving her. Twilight’s prone body did nothing to respond to the cooling breeze and the rainbow-maned pegasus looked a little worried. “She freaked out and was too hot. Twilight still isn’t used to her wings and she just doesn’t listen to me about the warning signs.”
“Poor dear, overheating…” Fluttershy also began fanning Twilight, and Spike as well, even though Spike didn’t have problems with the heat. It was just a kind, affectionate gesture.
“So, how are we gonna come together and save Twilight from herself?” Pinkie Pie asked her friends. “Those quesadillas aren’t going to eat themselves!”
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DON'T GIVE TWILIGHT ANY IDEAS!
And HERE are those quesadillas!
Would a blindfold be a fancy trick..?
RIP Twilight's sanity
Pinkie Pie, "It's jelly belly time."
media.tumblr.com/39ec005ff632920c658efb5a8175c8f5/tumblr_inline_ms5mknsH261qz4rgp.gif
One this is done, Twilight will somehow have eaten so much cheese she won't be able to poop for a week.
Oooooh, and here I thought you meant "quesadillas" in the proverbial sense. As in "this story is so cheesy".
You need someone to eat cheese? Only one man can be summoned at this moment...
Leave it to Gosling to decide that the best cure for an irrational fear is public humiliation.
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He didn't know.
I had a predatory grin when I read about the eating contest.
Here it begins.
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Well, the big bad comes at the end.
I like this plan. I like this plan a lot.
Bwhahahahaha! The quesadillas! The quesadillas at long last!
Ooo, or maybe not.
I'm still really curious about the exact status of Weedworld Rarity and Spike.
Oh my god...
Spike is a good friend.
And here she thought the last day would be a brie-ze.
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You munster!
I Caminbere this.
They already seem more like there show selves than the somewhat broken people we had at the start. Yay~
Hey, there are the quesadillas!
And Leave it to Gosling to do such a thing. The pretty bird that he is.
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Those were grate but I'm sure you can do feta.
When Grogar inevitably returns for the final showdown, he will come with weaponized quesadillas. Ponyville will be doomed.
I can honestly say I feel happier for everyone involved now. Especially Spike. Just because he does his part in the background doesn't mean he can't be proactive about fixing problems.
Something just hit me. I remember in that Fluttershy foster care story, you said in the comments that Pinkie was traveling around, looking for something outside of parties in her life. If I'm not mistaken, that story takes place quite a bit before this one. Does that mean that her travels had something to do with Cheese Sandwich? I suppose the details aren't necessary, but little things like that really flesh out your world.
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It is surprisingly entertaining watching this happen with someone else. Seriously, Radical, you're doing all the Spike-obsessing I was worried that I was going to do reading this. How do I get my hands on a popcorn gif?
Sidenote: that story sounds delightful. I'd love to see more of those three, especially since I haven't gotten to know Meg too well yet.
This has been a delightful read. I love it.
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But this is more Sumac's specialty.
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Bitch I was Spike obsessing since before you joined the site.
Because I joined it first.
Also started reading kudz's stories first.
Also, maaan, given the guff that Spike fans get vs everyone-who-is-lukewarm-on-Spike plus I am not give-no-yays-guy, I try to avoid talking about this stuff, mostly.
Now is sorta a special case, and I'm probably gonna go back to restraining myself in comments shortly.
Been thinking about this, about how Spike isn't a "jerk" but...
That's not true.
In S1 and S2 Spike had quite the capacity for jerkitude. In that he was snide and sarcastic. Then he cut back.
I wonder if he still has temptations of snideness... And if he'd kinda fit in with Boomer/Sumac/Pebble better if he let himself be snide just a little bit more.
Poor Twilight, she's doomed T_T