Twilight Sparkle seemed to be recovering as she drank some water and Spike the Dragon was no worse for wear after having been crushed for a second time on this trip. Spike looked embarrassed and a bit sheepish. It was one thing to be smushed by your crush, but to Spike, Twilight was like… a sibling. Icky. Twilight on the other hoof, looked haunted as the noontime hour approached.
“So, uh, Applejack, you ready to team up?” Rainbow Dash asked. She seemed more concerned about winning than she did Twilight’s current state of mental health.
“Sorry Dashie, that won’t be happening,” Applejack replied in a slow, apologetic drawl.
“What? Why not? We’re a team, Jackie!” Rainbow stared at her best friend and best rival of many years with a look of astonished disbelief.
“Sugarcube, we was a team.” Applejack’s eyes narrowed and she pulled the hat off of her head, revealing her drooping ears. “I’m sorry, Dash, but I’m gonna pair up with Fluttershy. This ain’t about winning, but I want her to have some fun and I don’t want her to feel like she has no chance at all.”
“Traitor!”
“Shoutin’ it don’t make it so.” Applejack’s expression hardened a bit as her competitive nature manifested. Rainbow Dash was a fine friend, and that was good and all… but Applejack prefered her as part of the competition.
“Fine!” Whirling around, Rainbow eyeballed Pinkie Pie. “How about it, Pinkie?”
Ears twitching, Pinkie Pie’s gaze darted over to Twilight, and then returned to Rainbow. “Sorry, Rainbow. I think I’ll stick this out with Twilight. She needs me.”
The sound of panic could now be heard in Rainbow’s voice. “Spike?”
“Boomer and I plan to win.” As Spike spoke, Boomer giggled and made rude gestures with two raised middle claws, mimicking the ancient pegasus wing signals for war. Dragons were nature’s jerks and no amount of nurturing against their nature could prevent that.
Looking alarmed, Rainbow’s eyes fell upon Sumac, but she never got a chance to say anything.
“You should know that I’m going with Pebble,” Sumac said to Rainbow Dash, sounding apologetic and fretful. “We also plan to completely crush you with our adolescent appetites. Prepare to be wrecked, Rainbow Dash. It’s nothing equinal, it’s just that you are old and you suck.”
“She stinks like your sheets do on washday,” Pebble deadpanned.
Twilight Sparkle choked on her water and it went shooting out of her nose.
“Savage!” Applejack cried, not sure whom she should feel sorry for.
Mouth falling open, Rainbow Dash looked indignant as she glared at both Pebble and Sumac, unable to believe the sheer audacity that the pair of them had to talk that way. Some ponies were just poor sports. Her lip curled back in a snarl at the dastardly duo, she shook her hoof at them, and then she cried, “Fine! Rarity then!”
“Oh, sure, darling… as if I want to team up with you… what was that horrendous thing you had to say about ponies who are picked last in sports?” Rarity let out a haughty sniff and turned away. “I am forced to accept of course, as we are expected to compete. Harrumph!”
Heaving a dramatic sigh, Rainbow Dash went to hug Rarity, who resisted at first, but then gave in with grudging acceptance. Rarity’s cold affection warmed, then she gave in and began stroking Rainbow Dash’s mane, trying to smooth it, which was probably Rarity’s single most affectionate gesture. Rarity only fixed the manes of those she loved, and Rainbow was dear to her heart.
In the times of greatest trouble, it fell upon Pinkie Pie to pick up Twilight Sparkle. That was just how it was, Pinkie Pie accepted it, and took it as a sign that the universe favoured her as Twilight Sparkle’s bestest friend. There was no need to rub the noses of her friends in this fact, but Pinkie was pleased that the universe had chosen her.
Princess Twilight Sparkle was a big, hopeless, nerdy, introverted, book-reading dork and what she needed in her life was less lists and more laughter. And maybe therapy, but that was the realm of Princess Cadance, and not Pinkie Pie. Focusing upon the task at hoof, Pinkie Pie pushed the distractions from her mind. The noontime hour approached. High noon.
It sounded so dramatic!
“Twilight, what happened to you?” After a hot, quick minute, Pinkie added, “Don’t play dumb or else I’ll play rough.”
“I can’t talk about it,” Twilight responded as she shrank back on the bed where she sat, all too aware that her friends, the two mouthy savages, and two dragons were now staring at her.
“What happened, Twilight? Don’t make me keep asking. As your bestest friend, I have ways of making you talk. I really, really love you and I want to help you.” Pinkie Pie, sitting on the bed, leaned in until she was snoot to snoot with Twilight Sparkle. Reaching out her front hoof, she booped Twilight on the nose to show that she meant business, and would play rough if she had to.
If a Pie booped you, they meant business, and Sumac could testify to that fact. He pulled Pebble a little closer, his face solemn, knowing that Pinkie was about to work her magic. Pinkie Pie was a witchy mare who worked in mysterious ways, something both Sumac and Pebble could attest to.
“Pinkie Pie, don’t do this to me,” Twilight begged.
Her eyes darting around, Pinkie Pie saw her friends nod one by one and the committee formed a silent majority. Reaching out, Pinkie Pie put her foreleg around Twilight’s neck, a firm but gentle reminder that right now, her friends loved her and wanted what was best for her. It was time to make Twilight better and make her face one of her silly hangups so that she could be happy.
Pinkie Pie had come a long, long way, and was now a lot more confident doing this. She had learned to be gentle, to be subtle, and now, it was just something she did. Typically to Tarnish when he was having one of his moments, but also to Pebble. Helping ponies smile through the pain was just one of many services that Pinkie Pie provided.
“Twilight, you might as well tell me what happened.” She watched as her friend of many years began chewing on her lip and Pinkie Pie gave Twilight’s neck a squeeze.
“M-m-my mother told me not to do it,” Twilight stammered, her words hesitant and squeaky. “She told me it would happen, and it did… ‘They’re just so cheesy,’ she said to me, and now, those words haunt me… she was right… she was right.” The apprehensive, anxious, anxiety-ridden alicorn began to rock herself back and forth.
Nopony laughed.
With a little moan of worry, Pinkie Pie pulled Twilight into a hug before she rocked herself off of the edge of the bed. Feeling it was the right thing to do, she kissed Twilight on the cheek and for a second, there was an electrical connection, like static cling on blankets just pulled from the dryer.
“I loved quesadillas,” Twilight confessed in a hissy, sibilant, almost serpentine whisper. “I fixed them in the same way that Sumac fixes grilled cheese sandwiches… I didn’t need a pan or a spatula… I could just make one without interrupting my studies too much.”
“Oh, Twilight,” Pinkie Pie sighed, seeing where this was going.
“B-b-b-but just like my mother said would happen, there was an accident!” Closing her eyes, Twilight clung to Pinkie, rubbing her forelegs over Pinkie Pie’s soft, plushy curves and seeking comfort. “All the cheese oozed out and landed right inside my book… and I could just hear my mother shouting, ‘I told you so!’ It was awful.”
“Did your mother actually punish you?” Pinkie asked.
It took a while to answer. Twilight was far too busy rubbing her forelegs up and down Pinkie Pie’s well padded ribs, an act that caused Rarity’s eyebrow to arch as she prodded Rainbow Dash. “Well, no, she never found out I did it. I hid it from her. I was so ashamed though… I hid it from her and I studied, and I studied, and I tried to find a way to clean up my own mess… Cadance found out…” The confession just trailed off and she pressed her face into Pinkie’s neck. “She’s so nice, and soft, and pink, just like you,” she whispered.
For reasons she could not explain, Pinkie Pie’s heart was thrashing against her ribs and it was difficult to breathe.
“I was able to clean it up… I cleaned it up and I made the mess go away… it went away…” Twilight was squeezing Pinkie Pie with enough force now that rolls of velvety, silken flesh collected in her embrace and oozed like pink frosting through her encircled forelegs with a delightful slowness. “I still feel so guilty… it makes me panic now and I just feel so disgusted with myself. Cadance was there to comfort me though… she was there… but she can’t be here now.”
Rainbow Dash and Rarity turned to look at one another while Twilight continued groping Pinkie Pie in the most arousing therapy session ever.
“In my dreams, my mother just kept lecturing me, over and over, saying, ‘I told you so!’ and, ‘They’re just so cheesy.’ I thought the book was ruined. I thought I had ruined a book. It was so awful.” Shuddering, Twilight somehow redoubled her grip around Pinkie Pie, whose eyes were now bulging from advanced alicorn affection. “I even had dreams that my father spanked me when he found out, and Cadance… Cadance would come and rescue me and she would toss the mean old tyrant down the stairs… my father never spanked me, and he was always nice, but these were dreams and they didn’t make sense. Cadance was just so perfect, and she rescued me. I was like a princess in a tower and she saved me and Smarty Pants from the tyrannical Sir Spanksalot.”
“Um…” Pinkie Pie had the distinct feeling that there was a lot more to this than just quesadillas. She also had trouble not melting into the bed, because Twilight was doing something wonderful to her fat rolls, and Pinkie did not want this to stop, because this was the greatest thing ever. Gasping, Pinkie was having some trouble breathing, and she gave Twilight a reassuring pat.
Twilight continued squeezing Pinkie Pie like a squishy stress ball.
“Um, Twilight… I think it is going to be okay… you can stop punishing yourself. You can—OH!—stop punishing yourself because everything is okay, your parents love you, and you learned some new magic to make everything better. You can go back to loving quesadillas again without worry… they, uh, ooooh, Twilight… they, uh, uuuuh, yeah, right there, along my spine, Twilight… you have nothing to worry about.”
Freezing, Twilight Sparkle opened her eyes, blinked once, and said, “You’re right… I don’t.”
“That got weird,” Sumac whispered to Pebble.
She nodded.
“My glasses fogged over.” The colt sat there on the floor, his hind legs tucked together, and he sat with rigid, unyielding posture. He looked over at Rainbow Dash and Rarity, who were whispering something to one another, then back at Pebble. His fillyfriend was plump and squeezably soft. If he wanted, he could squeeze her just like how Twilight had squeezed Pinkie. His tail swished over the floor as his dock twitched and he thought about all of the ways he wanted to squeeze Pebble.
He would start by squeezing himself between Pebble’s thunderous thighs…
As the noontime hour drew ever closer, Twilight Sparkle was not the least bit panicked. She was feeling good about… well, everything. Pinkie Pie had somehow fixed her brain, which Twilight might have worried about under normal circumstances, but this was a much needed vacation and normal circumstances did not apply.
Rainbow Dash and Rarity kept whispering to one another, no doubt discussing their strategy and planning how to win the quesadilla eating contest. Twilight was okay with that, paired up with Pinkie, she felt that there were some good odds that she and Pinkie could beat Rarity and Rainbow Dash.
Applejack’s hat circled the floor, like a shark patrolling the ocean, and a long, prehensile tail trailed out behind it. Twilight smiled, Boomer was no doubt playing submarine or something. Lifting her head, Twilight looked over in Pinkie Pie’s direction.
Sunlight poured in through the window, surrounding Pinkie Pie in a beautiful, rosy, golden glow. She was staring out the window, smiling, her body bouncing to music that only Pinkie Pie could hear. A hot flush, almost painful, took over Twilight’s face and crept down her neck. She thought of another pink pony and the thought was almost too much to bear. The quesadilla incident, as Twilight called it, was when little filly Twilight knew.
She had a crush on her foalsitter.
The thought went through her mind without panic. She didn’t freak out, she didn’t start screaming, and she didn’t cringe from the overwhelming sense of awkward embarrassment that usually followed such thoughts. Much to her surprise, she was okay with it. She was okay with it and everything was fine, just like how she was now fine with quesadillas.
No doubt, she had avoided the cheesy, delightful treats because of some sort of psychological aversion, just like how she avoided thinking about her crush on Cadance. It was time to grow up and get over that. The two events were forever linked together in her mind. There were other pink ponies in the world… and orange ones too… there was a whole world of ponies available to her… and quesadillas.
Twilight was almost one-hundred percent absolutely certain that she had shouted Cadance’s name when she had drunkenly masturbated next to Rainbow Dash in the bed. It was time for a long talk with Rainbow Dash, maybe her most loyal friend could help her set straight her sexual priorities.
It was time for that next step… those dangerous, dreadful steps into a perilous romance…
But that would come later, for now, it was time to eat.
... huh. Didn't see that one coming.
Haha ha haha! Yay~
I knew it!
Well that was anticlimatic...interesting how her love of books played into that...I wonder if the love of books thing also has a very understandable explanation....
It be interesting to see a spiritual sequel to this fic detailing how she acquired her bibliophile...
A Bookish Bonanza perhaps
I see what you did there.
Also, interesting take on the quesadilla incident!
7958162
Well, I couldn't exactly have quesadillas kill her father and mutilate her brother.
Sometimes, things are just mundane. For better or worse. They are what they are.
I don't know... this isn't my favorite twi ship, but it is still far from the worst.
I will withold my negativty and see how you play this out.
7958179
Aw, you should take note that no real shipping has actually happened yet. It's just implication and already you are all grumpy about it.
And if you think it resolves in this story, prepare for severe disappointment.
Pinkie has her own special kind of magic. And lo does it work wonders.
Perhaps this chapter caused a noticeable ripple in Cadance's love-sense?
Heh.
I've got a sinky feeling that Mi Amore De Cadenza is not the answer.
Initially I was thinking Flutters.
But now, I am less sure.
Possibly the Pink One.
...I ship it. Also, Twi, there are children present.
I...ship it? Wait, that could be something else entirely, now that I think about it. Still, who'd expect Rainbow Dash to be Rarity's partner in discussing the romantic lives of others? Assuming that's what's happening, anyway.
Gah, I didn't even consider her! I was thinking maybe Celestia there for awhile, but I wasn't a hundred percent on that. This really paints her actions during A Canterlot Wedding in a new light, doesn't it?
Yeesh, there are downsides to living in a society full of nudists.
So, sometimes I have terrible, awful thoughts storm into my head; the kind of thoughts I could really do without. Remember how Rainbow Dash has seen things that Sumac would really rather she didn't? At first, I just figure he'll become a bit more paranoid in the future. But then I suddenly think, what if he likes being watched?
...
Kudzu, if I had money to spare, I would pay you to never write that. I don't look down on others for fetishes, mind you, but I still have a habit of picturing Sumac as a five year-old. The dichotomy that such erotica would create would likely result in the destruction of time and space. And I have it on good authority that you live in time and space, so it's in your best interest to prevent that.
7958222
Rarity and Rainbow Dash are discussing Twilight, not each other. They are comparing notes so they can begin a full frontal assault.
7958222
7958235
No way, you jerk! You have to do like everyone else and wait until I figure out how to kill gravity.
Freakin' gravity. It's day will come!
7958232 hopefully it's not going the route of trying to trigger a relapse to prevent twilight from eating them. That'd be so underhanded(hoofed?)
...of swans? sorry,I know it was obvious but I couldn't resist
7958272
Um, no. That's not what they are doing. Let me spell this out.
- Darling, we need to get Twilight laid.
- Don't I know it.'
- I think we can make this happen, darling.
- Can I watch?
7958280
Watch? I kinda figured Twilight would ask Rainbow to take her virginity, if one, or at least help her threw a night.
I now want The Perilous Romance of a Book Horse
7958280 ooh, thank goodness.
When I read
I thought it was like, meaning plotting to win the eating contest. I am a dumb. I take too much at face value, forgive me for my lack of reading comprehension.
7958182
Aw. Twinkie is probably my favorite ship. Also my two favorite ponies. (I know some people say TwiPie, but I like sillier ship names.)
Seen a few stories where it wasn't a book that covered in cheese but rather Twilight. Apparently they weren't allowed to cool a little before she tried eating them
7958177
... huh. You know, you're right.
After all, everything seems like a big deal when you're little, even the stuff that isn't, and if you never try and work through those things which are a big deal when you are little, they continue to be a big deal when you're big too, even when they really shouldn't be.
E.g.
"Muriel!"
"What is it?"
"I wanted peanut butter on the top and spam on the bottom!"
"Turn the sandwich over, Thurgood."
"... well, I'll be."
Huh. Cadence, eh?
I believe it.
Welp, that was definitely a textbook case of false advertising. Don't get me wrong, I was expecting a silly comedy and got some of your best stuff so far instead, but the title was really misleading.
7958931
How is it misleading?
Do tell. The story isn't over yet and the contest hasn't happened.
7958932
Shrug. The description highlights Twilight's Turophobia, but didn't highlight any of the other content that makes up the majority of the story. Doesn't make the story bad or anything. Just makes the short description misleading for the most part. Everything I'm now invested in this story for has nothing to do with Quesadeas any longer.
7958974
Um, the big eating contest at the end hasn't happened yet, and not everything is said or done yet.
Way to judge a story on things that haven't even happened yet. Do you see a complete tag?
7958980
No, but the story is near its end as you said. Even if being near the end means doubling the remaining content and making most of it about quesadeas, there's still the massive amount of investment the reader needs to put into the story to get to the Quesadeas. At the end of the day it doesn't matter if there is Quesadeas just how important they are to the story. I've gotten so much non-quesadea content at this point that a few ending chapters with Quesadeas isn't likely to change my mind. You've even phrased the turophobia such that it's not a fear of cheese but Twilight connecting her more normal quirks to cheese specifically -- the perfectionism and need to do good. I mean, that is kind of how fears actually work but with all the set up so far it just ties into all the growth Twilight's already gone through this fic -- especially with the mention of the crush on Cadance -- so it all just feels like everything before the Quesadeas is more important than the Quesadeas themselves.
It's not judging the story either. It's just looking at what the short description implies, and what you actually wrote until almost the ending of the story. There's nothing wrong with it, and I probably love this story way more than I would have if it was nothing but cheesy quesadea humor, but it is kinda mislabled.
7959013
So, you're saying that I should've just wrote a single chapter thousand word story with no background or character development of Twilight staring down a cheese quesadilla, with no logical progression of how she got there in the first place, or why it is such an issue for her?
7959020
No. I'm saying what you actually did was far better. It's only the short description that's off not the story. You could change it. You could not. It's up to you really, but like I've said repeatedly there's nothing wrong with the story. The story is amazing. It's easily one of my favorites.
7959029
I see. That makes things clearer.
Yes, the misleading descriptions. That's kinda my thing. It is technically true... and at the risk of spoiling things, Twilight has dealt with the mental blockage part of her phobia, but the actual exposure will be... troublesome.
So the description will ultimately hold true.
I think the Rainbow and Rarity might have some differences of opinion on a Twilight and Pinkie hookup in the very near future. Rainbow has to recognize them as both being emotionally compromised (since Pinkie is an earth pony and Twilight has earth pony abilities this might make their emotional compromise worse). Rarity seems more the type to try to push it. I am sure they both agree though Twilight needs to get laid just disagree on some circumstances.
7958187
7958199 Nah Nah Nah, in her drunken state with RD she was yellin' 'BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS'
This chapter gave me a lot of laughs. Thanks kudzu!
Well. I have to say that was a more traumatic quesadilla experience than I really expected to read about today.
Yeah, yeah it did.
That makes sense now that we've gotten the rest of the quesadilla story.
So, was the Cadance the pony that got married which led to Twilight being so romantically unhappy for all these years? Or was it someone else?
7958315 omigod that's perfect.
7959205
You raise very fair points. I've seen the kind of crap Spike gets in the comments over on Equestria Daily. Kinda killed any enthusiasm I had to comment there. As I've mentioned before, Spike is one of my favorite characters. Partly because I always gravitate towards the no-respect guy, but mostly because, at his best, he's a fun character to have around. His existence, and how he fits in to the world around him, never ceases to fascinate me.
Also, I'm glad we finally got an episode with him palling around with Big Mac. I've been wanting one since the Season 5 premiere.
7959651
Yeah. I think I'm actually "over" his portrayal in the show. Good or bad I accept it... and to be frank in S6 it was really good. My opinion on the fandom is not the same though.
However, in this story, I think what I appreciate the most is his relationship with Boomer.
Because it can't be described as "the same relationship someone has with Twilight but less intense" which is how you can describe a lot of other relationships he has. It is, in just a small way, Spike carving out something that is his own in life rather than allowing himself to settle into where Twilight is.
Like... I'm proud of him of taking the initiative, and of plotting and doing something that Twilight might not like for what he thinks is best for her, but I don't appreciate that as much as Boomer and he.
7959679
Season 6 had a couple more low-points than I really liked, but Spike was just on fire!
He and Boomer are really sweet though. Honestly, I always enjoy works that expand his relationships with characters other than Twilight or Rarity. We just don't get enough of that, even in fanfictions.
7959688
7959679
By teaching Boomer how to interact with ponies, Spike's own interactions with ponies has improved. He's really had to sit down and think about the mechanics of it all.
7959697
Huh...that's incredibly obvious, yet it never occurred to me until you spelled it out for me. That's a really nice detail, though.
7958280
You realize that between this comment and her talk with Sumac, "Voyeur Dash" is now officially a thing?
Watch out when you think you're alone~
Your privacy has just fallen through~
You feel a chill deep down in your bones~
'Cause Rainbow Dashie's creepin' on you~!
God bless 3am, an hour where nothing but the best decisions take place.
More seriously: I'm glad that Twilight is finally tackling the problems she's been repressing. Whichever pony (or ponies) she ends up pursuing, I look forwards to the inevitable chaos.
I'm really starting to like this story.
Ok. That was unexpected. Soooo... Twi has a thing for pink ponies. At least certain pink ponies.
Wooooow. Okay that was hawt, but also got kind of...weird o.o;
Twilight's moment with her pink stress ball seems almost identical to Moondancer's outburst in her episode; a moment of catharsis in which all stress is exorcised from the body.