• Member Since 22nd Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 25th, 2016

WhiteSun


E

a few years have passed in ponyville and while somethings stay the same others grow and change. a simple night out with her friends might make twilight learn something new and unique about her faithfull assistant and might make her change the way she sees him. the story came to me while listening to queen's somebody to love . so just as a suggestion try listening to that while reading it.

Chapters (0)
Comments ( 6 )

ok, first thing... fix your formatting. the type you use makes it look like a long list of very short individual paragraphs. It also appears the paragraphs end and begin in the middle of your sentences, are only one sentence long, and lack in the ability to covey complete thoughts. Fixing that issue would be a great place to start, and would bring readability to your writing. Although I am interested in where you planned on taking the story, the formatting made it impossible to read.

This is alright fic; the spelling and grammar are alright, but the formatting is horrific. Please fix it, because it'd be shame for readers to just judge it based on how difficult it is to follow. :twilightsheepish:

Peace Out

formatting gave me a headache :facehoof: please fix it

FORMATING FORMATING FORMATING!

:facehoof:

ugggh!!! i knew something was going to come up like this... :applecry: i keep trying to format it and it keeps denying it... ugh just ugh... :pinkiesick: in anycase thank you for the feedback .

i will put it as unplubish for now until i can get it back and running again. thank you everyone for pointing it out i really do feel silly for it :twilightsheepish::facehoof: