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Somepony To Love

a few years have passed in ponyville and while somethings stay the same others grow and change. a simple night out with her friends might make twilight learn something new and unique about her faithfull assistant and might make her change the way she sees him. the story came to me while listening to queen's somebody to love . so just as a suggestion try listening to that while reading it.

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Comments ( 6 )

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jack_fraust

jack_fraust #1 · Jun 25th, 2012 · · ·

ok, first thing... fix your formatting. the type you use makes it look like a long list of very short individual paragraphs. It also appears the paragraphs end and begin in the middle of your sentences, are only one sentence long, and lack in the ability to covey complete thoughts. Fixing that issue would be a great place to start, and would bring readability to your writing. Although I am interested in where you planned on taking the story, the formatting made it impossible to read.

thewaffler

thewaffler #2 · Jun 25th, 2012 · · ·

This is alright fic; the spelling and grammar are alright, but the formatting is horrific. Please fix it, because it'd be shame for readers to just judge it based on how difficult it is to follow.

Peace Out

purplegurl

purplegurl #3 · Jun 25th, 2012 · · ·

formatting gave me a headache please fix it

ToriBoshi42

ToriBoshi42 #4 · Jun 25th, 2012 · · ·

FORMATING FORMATING FORMATING!

WhiteSun

WhiteSun #5 · Jun 25th, 2012 · · ·

ugggh!!! i knew something was going to come up like this... i keep trying to format it and it keeps denying it... ugh just ugh... in anycase thank you for the feedback .