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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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hoo-e four chapters in less than 24 hours? if I finish this as fast as I did crimson night at this pace we'd have 44+ chapters on our hands. but I have no idea how long this is going to be. just like with crimson dawn- and any other story really- it is very susceptible to change via reader input so tell me what you guys think and any suggestions in the comments and you just might see it used. thanks to s00perguy for the basic idea and design assistance on the reaver gauntlets.
it's up to you guys. shall we keep Emerald, add her to the team and pair her with spike? or is that just going to be a one time thing and you guys can create the OC that pairs with him. your choice!
*looks at title* ummm...i sont know wether to be scared or joyfull at this chapter?i bet it will be great.
*after reading* well that was actually ok and actually...great compared to most story's i have read
736906
Have you got an x-box? Because if you haven't, your missing out...
Favourite game ever!
...after halo...
737451
If you mean EmeraldxSpike that would be interesting if you mean as partner sure why not.
737626 nope only got a pc
737582 much easier to write things like that when they're humanized
well played good sir well played indeed two mustaches for you
736906 Are you talking about Twilight's gauntlet weapon? Cause that's kind of what I gathered for that. Shadow and I were talking about what wrist-blades were, and it all depends on who taught you, mostly.
Now, OFF TO READ THE 4TH CH-- PROLOGUE!
Okay. I am okay with this. I am very okay with this.
I'm not sure if I've ever told you this, but you always capture Twilight's slightly awkward and formal speech perfectly. Just felt like sharing.
738125 who taught me what?
738308 Who taught you(subjective) what wrist-blades were and how to use them.
738350 um me. wristblades and claws i get from what i see on shows like predator and stuff like that and just basically how to sue them. animes like Naruto a bit as well, it's not really a specific style i refer to when writing them.
738402 I see. But you don't. You(subjective), second-person. "It all depends on who taught you." As in "It all depends on who the teacher was." For anyone. "you". Second-person.
I am floundering, trying to explain. Please tell me you get it, now.
738482 nobody's taught me what they are or how to use them, I gleaned the information over my imagination mixed with what I've seen
Well the action scenes were exactly what I was afraid they'd be, low on description and a little disjointed resulting in something that overall wasn't very exciting. I also found it odd how close they all came to killing eachother in a sparring session. Surely there's a way to practice that doesn't require Pinkie to swing that axe around, that's just and "axe"ident waiting to happen. I'm sorry I couldn't resist
That said the character interactions were very nice and the scene with Twilight and Celestia in the bath tub achieved sexual tension very nicely. To be honest though I thought Rainbow stole this chapter with the line "Well, does this turn you on?” i was laughing so hard at that scene.
Also your partnering RD and Pinkie? I'm fine with that but last chapter gave me the impression you were shipping AJ and RD with this line: "But she wasn't the only one, Dash and Applejack couldn't take their eyes off each other."
Overall a good chaper but the action was disapointing,
738734 i think i was still deciding who to pair with who, i was going with RariShy at that point, but I think I decided to go with LunaShy. as for the action...it's because I lost the entire chapter and couldn't bring myself to write it all over again, didn't have the patience...I'll try to make up for it next chapter
738809
Ah. Fair enough. I guess I'll have to wait till next chapter before I make my judgment.
As for the pairing I'm not really worried about who pairs with who but I found the way you seemed to jump from one copule to another a tad disconcerting.
739166 while I wouldn't have a problem with it at first you'd think it'd just be boring. but spike, you're living with a bunch of BADASS girls. you won't get bored
739327 I haven't really been jumping couples though...and I think what I was doing with the slight AJ/Dash was to imply they were *cough cough* 'open minded'.
739417
Fair enough, I probably read a bit too much into that anyway.
*smashes you with the Grammar Hammar* VERBS *smash* AND *smash* ADJECTIVES *smash* ARE *smash* NOT *smash* PROPER *smash* NOUNS!
Seriously, stop capitalizing them.
Also, why are they training high school students for this? Shouldn't this fall under the jurisdiction of the Royal Guard? Why the flying fuck are they training children to do the military's job? Seriously, plothole much?
Giggidy Celestia wants Twilight And Twi wants Celestia
Im Okay with this
--------------------
Lunar Justice
I don't see how that could possibly change anything?...
2173852 because if you look a few sentences later, it explains why