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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Alrighty guys. I'm adding a few more characters in, hopefully I'll remember they're there in future chapters. who wants me to bring back Onyx? I could do it. you'll have plenty of time to suggest and vote because as mentioned above I won't be back until mid-late friday. here's to hoping I don't lose the drive for this story while I'm gone. if I don't you'll be looking at an avalanche of updates though. a week is a long time to come up with chapter ideas : P
make at least a fire and wind wendigo that are good come in. PLEASE
803562 you won't be back till Friday NOOOOOOOO! I don't think I can last that's long
803632 but that ruins the mysteriousness of the wolves! I may make it relevant later, but for now it's just part of the lore
ahhh!!!!!!!!!! ok
jack frost is a ice wolf...
805271
805753 lol lucky you, you get my last comment reply for a week.and i am super proud of the Canterlot battle, managed to make an entire five pages of it
Cool i like this. But bringing back onyx might be too many charactors so stay without her for now.
805903
802974 Fimfiction, Y U NO TELL ME THERE WAS A RESPONSE?! Well fimfiction's retardation aside, I know it would be more complex, so that's why I just threw the idea into the lions pit as it were, and the only intention for it was mostly for the almost inevitable battle for home thing. You know, the bad guys amass an army and attack the base of operations of the good guys and you start killing off people you may want dead. Basically I designed that weapon as a one use thig, basically she gets into an epic battle defending one thig or another then dies I a sudden, saddening way. Nothing beyond that really. Also that double blade design was in my head without purpose or use for the longest time, so I saw an opportunity and took a shot. So sue me.
Anyway, what I came to say, originally was: no chapters? From Tartarus High? the apocalypse cometh! Everyone save your children! But seriously, you've been so on this story that NOT seeing a chapter every single day is mindblowing. Lol. No complaints, pace yourself, just taking note... Oh, and an interesting idea is like to present:,a chapter from the bad guys' perspective. Seriously, I don't care how you write it, but if you need something to do for the Lolz, just write that bit. You could even just write the dialogue etc. while they Re unknowingly being stalked through the woods while one guy keeps complaining that he feels like he's being watched before being shushed and ridiculed by his fellows for being paranoid. Shortly before their heads are removed in quick succession by Twilight and friends. So many Lolz. Just like:
"GUUUYYS, I just heard another sound. It sounds big!"
"Shut up, if you keep talking they'll hear an ambush coming!"
"Seriously! I think they're already here!"
"You're being paranoid!"
No I'm not! My grandmother could see things, man! Could always tell when crazy shit was gonna go down! I inherited it, you know. I smell a shitstorm comin'..."
Whatever, James, keep your thoughts and your freaky voodoo powers to yourself."
*all of their heads fall off suddenly excePt for James*
"HA! I fcking TOLD y-"
*slice*
Oh right! And before I forget, the berserker rage is not an easy thing. I'm saying that something like that would happen in a more dire situation. Example: good friend/partner hurt, enemies advancing, surrounding, can't see team, doesn't look like there's anyone coming to help, and a moments hesitation could spell injury or death. It's in these times that we revert to kill or be killed: the berserker rage. Perhaps another team member is trying to cut through the enemy ranks and said raging person is so in the flow of death and murder that they can't stop before it is too late. Now, I'm not saying it has to be a lethal hit, or even a hit at all. Even better, said rescuer could block this attack, which CAUSES them to be hit by a manticore or slicer (which appears to be your standard low-level horde monster, equivalent being ghouls in Crimson.) thus injuring them. It can be achieved in any number of ways. I do believe that these are trained professionals, etc., but even trained professionals make mistakes, and to bring these characters back to a more human state, you'll have to give up a little of their godliness. Yes, an ultimate demon-murdering badass is great, and awesome for fight scenes, and you can still have that, but mistakes are made even by the best trained professionals.
In the end, it's all up to you, and action is great, and you do it well, and I'll probably never tire of it. Just consider it. Maybe do it for one of the newbies, one of the ones more likely to snap under adverse conditions and stacked odds. Just remember, humanity makes characters relatable, and yes, this can be achieved through romance, and can do so quite easily. All I'm saying is that flaws give an individual, well, individuality. An overreaction here, an under reaction there, these bring new parts of a person to light, and I'll admit you somewhat achieved this with Twilight's freak out when she blew a man's head apart. However, this is still a personality development thing, and to this point Twilight, or any character for that matter, has yet to say "oops" that I have seen up to this point... I don't know...
Sorry, I know I'm rambling, but tripping and falling IS a part of human life, and if you want to retain their humanity, as is clear through the way they think, then have them make a mistake. Maybe not a dire one, hell, no one even needs to get hurt, just show us they're still human beyond just their relationship process, because I don't care how thorough your training has been or how amplified your speed and reflexes are, something can throw you off of your game.
Sorry, on to the actual review.
YAY! More Crimson references! Which, speaking of, I really want to see more of, which, since this story is soaking up viewership and time, I'll have to be patient for... Though not passively, certainly! I'll be waiting with a couple of ideas jotted down that have come to me over the past week or so... Though I really hope that that weapon idea I dropped off for Vinyl works for you, my pride and joy at the moment, rivaled only by my concept for Rainbow's sword design, which I actually spent a full ten minutes thinking about, which, in my time, is a small eternity...
Yes! Right! Off topic! Though I'll have to continue this tomorrow night, because right at this moment, I am writing at 1230 and I need to wake up in 4 hours...
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I'm back!
Sorry, minor thing I have to say, I actually had a southern editor editing one of my stories last year, and the main character had a southern accent, so in chapter 23 when AJ is talking, when she says "a might prettier" the word is actually mite, as in dust mite, implying extreme littleness. This was pounded into me by said editor, as I made this mistake repeatedly. And no, I never published said story... Nor, sadly, do I have a copy of it hidden anywhere, as I lost it when I lost my flash drive earlier in the school year...
Anyway! On to another bit! Being a European mythology buff, I feel it important to point out that wyrms are, in fact, smaller. They are indeed demon dragons, but as a whole, they are somewhat weaker than your European classic (four legs and wings, breaths fire, etc.) also know as any dragon in Skyrim. I studied this. Maybe in other mythologies a wyrm is bigger, but I haven't read such a book. Please direct me if I'm wrong.
Sorry if I seem a bit more critical today, but I'm tired, and tired results in me being a bit more blunt. Not like I wasn't already blunt as a door to the face, but it also saps some of my tact... Also, pretty much anything I have a vested interest in, European polytheistic mythologies, for one, is something I don't like people getting wrong. Lol. Though I might be wrong about this one, because I'm not entirely sure, I'll have to read the Dragonology book I gave to my friend sometime. As far as I remember, however, wyrms were elemental dragon demons, that, though smaller and physically weaker, possessed magic in larger quantities than a standard dragon (European classic).
Hold up... What's this? You used my eye glyph tattoo idea...? So much win. Btw, a a pentagram is five points, and hexagram is likely your idea, also known as the Star of David. And I didn't say it, but naturally the pentagram was EXACTLY the one i was thinking of! Though I should draw the exact design.
You have actually inspired me to DRAW. Yo have no idea the implications of that. I'm going to get to drawing it, and have you tell me what you think. Request the drawing if I forget to link it to this. I have to go draw now. Back in a few...
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Right... Uhhhh... That took a sht ton more time than I thought it would...4 hours longer... Whoa. PM me if you wanna peek at the different glyph designs I've got going in my mind. They're actually pretty well done, if you'd like to look.
Okay. So she just Kamehameha'd an entire battlefield and vaporized half of a mountain into ash, and all she can think of is how awesome a wyrm skull style helmet and pauldrons would be... Interesting...
Oh, and the fight with the crusaders? Brilliant. Oh, and I hate Diamond Tiara. Just generally. I know most people do, but I hate her with a burning passion. I dunno... Just really do. I'd give example of the degree of my hatred, but they're a mite disturbing. So I'll just keep this review somewhat PG.
Wait wait wait. Wut? Stop fuxxing w/ my mind! So mean! Twlight's parents weren't dead? Talk about a neck-snapping twist... Oh well. Also, lol at the names. I love you. So brilliant. Loving all of the Dawn references.
Very interesting concept with the wendigoes, btw. They should make interesting allies, being another elemental creature, not to mention the polar opposite of dracomages.
Oh, and of course, as with all party based RPG's, which this plays out similarly to, you get another member the moment to meet a new species. Always. Lol. Love the addition though.
Oh! And you should think about adding a demon party member. Just mebbe. Though as has already been stated, 'tis a bit of a clusterfck, so yeah, stick with the main group, but you can use her as a fall ack for any positions not important enough for the main group to take.
809356 I love this one...
as usual you never cease to amaze us all
cant wait til twi loses it again