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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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here's summore explanation my friends
763001
762617
You could have some sort of demonic version of changlings...
you, good sir, earn another
I say try the medusa.
great chapter man, nice little tocuh with the whole demon thing
and as for creatures go, three words: giant squirrel zombles
763404 too cliche
sure
so we have at least Twilight and Fluttershy with Demonic Heritage and Dash could possibly be a third? This is seriously getting crazy, but i can't wait to see what happens next
You are a mad bastard, yo realize that, right? I mean, this is DEFINITELY another Crimson Night, without a doubt. 21 chapters in a little over a week and no sign of stopping! Just remember who the little people are when you're famous! or i might have to find you and remind you...
(writing that emoticon, no I don't have access to the little buttons while typing it on my iPod, reminded me of something interesting. Because I actually write them out o my iPod, I've become so accustomed to using them, they worm their way into my conversations in other facets of the Internet, those being email, Facebook, Skype and texting. Just thought that'd be cool to know for those who care... )
Anyway, on to the story!
First off is the first occurrence worthy of mention, and that's when Dash landed. Personally, if I saw something carrying around its own body weight, and then some, I wouldn't even stand, I'd have to sit, so I give these military guys some credit...
Actually, I'd probably have one of my patent pending freak outs, in whic I flail my arms trying to gain my list balance before screaming and falling flat on my ass. While everyone laughs. And then considering its humanized RD carrying a humanized Pinkie both carrying heavy weaponry, probably get a gun-boner immediately after my normal hot-girl-boner. (what, it's not weird, they're human! That's right, just keep justifying yourself, you perv...)
So basic idea here is that I'm hardly a hundred words in and I can say you're already off to a good start. Oh. And GOD have your fight scenes improved! I mean really, the gore and the detail and everything is just BEYOND awesome! And including crazy pinkie in the fight was a good way to add to the gore. I mean, how much better can you get than ripping the guts out of your enemy? Not to mention that kinda hearkened back to Cupcakes for me for some reason... Just sayin'...
I can see now what you meant when you said to really liked fighting with Rainbow's fists, and I guess you can now see why I like CQC in general. It's VERY personal and intimate, much more so than gunplay, and though you can achieve something similar through a pistol battle, it's like a sword fight where every single move is a thrust. It just doesn't last long without a LOT of enemies without getting boring. But with a horde and sword, you can stretch that shit out for hours on end, hell, a group of thirty I can make last for a few thousand words easily. So it's really good for adding meat to any story.
My one thing that I must touch on EVERY one of these comment review things, is the name of the drug and the effects it has. Demon blood? Meh, it's a little obvious as to what it does, but I guess that doesn't exactly matter, as all it really is, is an epic mcguffin to help move the story along. And I Really like the way the story is moving... Also Rainbow's ass in my head pictures... NO! BAD S00PERGUY! NOT ALLOWED!
XD. Sorry, can't help but just keep thinking back to Twilight's... Orientation day... :P
Oh! Right! Before I forget, my naturally infinite well of ideas is still spewing forth with ideas, so here it is! A name for the freaky new guys. Hellblades. Yeah, I know, it sounds a little dorky, but it's fitting for a species that can't really name itself and considering it's mostly army personnel that will be using the name, it would actually probably stick. I don't really have much else. Walking knives are difficult to name. *shrug*
Onyx? Is that an intentional connection to G&E, or am I just making them? Wouldn't be surprised if it were the latter, but you have already made one G&E reference, so I don't see why not...
Somehow, I totally see Fluttershy doing exactly what she did. With her medical expertise, I would expect her to be able to look at an opponent and figure out where the important bits are. Very cool. And being a caretaker of injured animals, I'm sure she'd be fine with the sight of blood, so slitting throats wouldn't be all that big a deal... Yet again, very fitting personalities.
Two thumbs up that I have to give you. One, leaving the eyes vague. This is perfect, because I was thinking maybe sometime later you could inscribe a pattern on said eye. Maybe a glyph by twilight to somehow enhance her vision? Idk. Number two, actually MENTIONING that the whole half-mystical-creature thing was cliché. Just... Such a win. It's like the characters are saying to us "yes, we realize it's ridiculous, but give us a second, we'll make it awesome. Come on, you know we're good for it. Now keep reading."
So much lol... It might just be what I see, but it still makes me laugh, so leave me be.
Oh, and three, giving the eye more versatility than "it sees magic" and allowing her to see normally. This is VERY helpful in later battles, I can tell. As well as she could develop that glyph I mentioned earlier making it more and more complex as time goes on, allowing her more little perks. And an untattooed eye is just one cleansing glyph away, so she can use a new design when need warrants, though I can promise that a tattooed eye would at least be an uncomfortable process to say the least.
Rainbow losing her feathers... I can just see them falling off like rain, her looking at everyone else with the expression of "what the hell is happening to me?!" and for some reason in my head, her feathers turn black before they hit the ground... Dunno why. For more drama I think. Just the whole Rainbow transformation bit was really cool. I have a thing for wings, so sue me... And weapons... And women... And the cat eyes just sealed the deal. So you kinda have all of my likes rolled up into two characters, and one in particular, though honestly, I would have pegged RD for the already-turned half-demon, not Fluttershy. I guess it's just because of her attitude, but still...
Hmmmm... Do I hear the sound of horses? Because all I hear from chapter 12 from some reason is *clop clop clop*
XD XD XD. Sorry, but I couldn't resist. Though I must admit, this is a decent pairing, I really like it. And ignore my fun-making, because if anything, if I were criticizing, I'd be the worst kind of hypocrite. XD XD XD.
EDIT: BIG ASS M'ER F'IN' REVIEW. I swear to god, I'm just going to collect my comments and post them as full reviews and replace you with the username of the writer and just be done with it! and this One had to be a two parter because I didn't want to submit a review longer than the chapter! XD.
need new demon?
myteespot.com/images/Images_d/d_10848.jpg