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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
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*goes on two day no Internet hiatus*
*comes.back*
"well, might as well see what Dark's been up to..."
*checks fimfiction*
fuckin' six chapters. Blew me away. God, so glad I've already finished reality jumper or you'd be competing for iPod time. I've only read spike and sapphires mission! Son of a bitch! Gotta go catch up! Also, before I leave for home to read it, I saw mention of a new weapon for dash. Please tell me it's mine... PLEASE!!!
FIRST,and great story![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
786410 sorta, it's what we brainstormed about. i didn't remember it's special abilities so those aren't there yet really.
786446 stop making first comments. it just gets you temp banned
786446You fail. Also, don't do that shit, instant temp ban.
786536 okay, and remember, there's only two. Gets sharper as a battle draws out (kinda in the same way Sebastian shaw stores kinetic energy getting stronger with every hit) and splits Ito two, one that looks like weaponized rainbow, the other a sleeker, thinner version of Silver Linjng due to the lost mass, making it a manageable one-handed weapon.
786545 didn't you do it before? : P
786579 yes. And I got temp banned. And pissed myself when I saw it that morning. Heart attacks aren't fun, lemme tell ya.
786592 "You fail. Also, don't do that shit, instant temp ban." you say it as if you're innocent of the same crime. derp
786603 well I only did it once! And I learned! Anyway, note my weapon ideas. Use them and incorporate them. Into it. Best. Ideas. Ever.
nice badass scoots![:scootangel:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/scootangel.png)
Isnt a Zweihander the german equivilant of a Claymore but with a thicker blade.
Plus badass Scootaloo is pretty awesome. Though i think as they are in the Everfree shouldn't an Ursa of some kind show up? If you want take a look at my story for a huminoid version of an Ursa.
787871 I don't know for sure but I think so. and they are inside a giant tree/ a giant tree-top village so most of that stuff doesn't apply. but don't worry, we'll have something like that in here after a bit
So much lag. Anyway, forgot to post this yesterday.
LOVING crazy Twilight. Very good use of her newfound psychosis, though in my own headcanon it's Fluttershy who has the personality issues. Two extras, actually. Regular Shy, the shy pony we all know, Angry Shy, the psychotic, sadist, and Weird Shy, who acts completely normal until yo ask her opinion on something, which is always something random unless you understand my headcanon, which is laced with bits of fics I only read half of, and storylines darker than "Cupcakes" and funnier than "Celestia hate tea". Plenty of weird sh
t, basically.
t I have to deal with
ck with me and die. Slowly." pretty quickly. Very unsurprising considering my personal experiences with prejudice. New kid, nerd, social reject, insert pathetic, almost non-existent social life sob story here, etc., etc.. Either way, very good piece.
oh well, I can do it up in an hour or so, no problem.
t I just got sudden inspiration for my own fic... Terrible timing... Oh well, I'll jot down notes, I guess...
ck, so don't be surprised if my opinions on certain elements like character personalities are widely different from the common accepted canon, though I do maintain my original impression so I can discuss these things with normal people...
God damn it Pinkie! Stop censoring me!
Pinkie: sorry, but you don't know if there's little foals reading it or not!
Pinkie, you know perfectly well that this is the mature section. Legal age only! It's supposed to be anyway...
Pinkie: whatever you say, I'm still gonna do it.
Fine, but at least don't talk to me if you plan on doing that, okay?
Pinkie: okey dokey pokey!
*sigh*
And that's the sh
Oh for god's sake Pinkie!
Ugh, whatever...
Back to the story. I find it slightly humorous that you managed to figure out an all-purpose plot filler. Analogous to Star wars' force, you have glyphs. Pretty much a fix-anything except when it's inconvenient...so there's that, and I love how you use glyphs to bring modern comforts, not entirely unlike how they used the force to power the Star Forge in KotOR, though on a much smaller scale, thigh I'm sure you could figure out how to power something that large if necessary... Yes, I do love star wars, what of it? Not
to mention I like to drop the science like Skrillex drops the bass... (yay pop culture references!)
Oh, and your pinkie fourth wall breaks are always appreciated. Good stuff.... Though the explanation I would have given would have been "because no matter how much you know, it won't help if you piss us off. Remember that."
Yeah,, my methods tend to become "f
yay! References to Crimson Dawn with Bright Steel (I believe that's what you named him. That or Bright Armor, either way, I see story bleed. Lol.). So much role confusion in my brain! But that would be more due to it being almost midnight... I don't know why it's taking me this log to read this. Probably because I feel like a bastard for forgetting to send myself the story I was supposed to edit...
Aaaand sh
Vinyl as a blacksmith? And Octavia assisting? Alright, I can dig it. Just never pegged her for that more like a bard, or, to modernize it, a traveling, down on her luck, musician... Idk. Also, my newfound headcanon, due to its recent overhaul by my friend's fic, has given the background ponies weird personalities, like Vinyl being completely unflappable, Fluttershy being a multiple personality psychotic, and Derpy being a badass psycho-mom, and that's just the beginning. Yeah his fic is a mindf
"can't think of legit ways to add action"
... Fo' real? That's why you have a second brain, boy! Me! If nothing else, I can pull something completely contrived right outta my butt! In this case, this is just "adding to the ranks" kinda stuff, so there's no real action to be had, and you need to balance it out sometimes and have a calm period. Just like movies, if books have long stretches in which there is nothing but action, they get dull, and run out of ideas quickly. I seem to remember you saying something about balance in the story? That you needed at least one pairing to keep writing? Well that's the same thing. Just like you need a little romance at times, you also need a little relative calm.
"Vinyl, wielding a Zweihander"
WOOOOOO! Love those swords... Designed to basically tear through whole people. Yeah, pretty epic deadliness... Aw, damn, I just got a cool idea for a Zweihander for Vinyl, now that you went and gave her one.
Devil's Tuning Fork. As I figured that Vinyl would be SOMEWHAT similar in attack abilities, at least attributed to her canon character, to Naruto's sound ninjas, I took the idea of the arm amplifier worn by the leader of the group, and turned it into a sword. And not just any sword. A double sword. That's right, two blades side by side that, when blocked by an enemy, vibrate and send out ferocious sound waves that can potentially blow the eardrums of the opponent, deafening them, even upsetting the fluid I their ears, giving them vertigo. And assuming a hit, it's literally double trouble, making two cuts instead of one, and with the spacing, it could even be used similarly to a sai, controlling and holding the opponents weapon. God that's an awesome idea. Please use it, good GOD please do... (of course vinyl would be immune to this as she likely inflicted deafening noises on her own ears when she used to DJ, toughening her ears somewhat, and of course you can have twilight give the sword a friendly fire glyph of some manner)
Which brings me to another thing, I've noticed no one in your fics ever accidentally gets hit by their own teammates, and I find that slightly strange, especially that I'm only noticing it now. I mean, these are teenagers, and I know I've said that silly thig like reality kinda have to be thrown out the window considering the context, I think it would be an interesting story piece...
Imagine with me, if you will, in the fury of battle, one person falls into a berserker rage, seeig nothing but red and enemy, filled with piss and vinegar, and suddenly turns and is faced with a friendly. In the state of mind they're in, all that moves is an enemy, and therefore this person is also, and before they can stop themselves... Well, you know what I mean. The potential for tugging at heartstrings is massive here, in that you could put a highly skilled combatant out of the game without even harming them and developing their character all at the same time as they come to terms with injuring or even killing a fellow team member, a fresh recruit, or even... Well, I'll leave the possibilities to you...
So many ideas were inspired by this fic, I don't know what to do with them all! Oh, and a weapon design for Octavia, since I noticed that A: you don't have any weapons for her, and B: you've never had someone use this particular weapon before: whips. We're talking Ivy (from Soul Calibur) kind of stuff here, and I think that Octavia has a story a lot like Ivy in my headcanon, so to me, she's perfect. Almost a match, in fact. She was born into a high class family, check. Brought low by demons in some way (in Ivy's case, she was tuned into a demon when she trained with Cervantes, her father(I believe), in Octavia's, she was simply turned into one, obviously.), check. She fights various warriors, demons, etc., to regain her lost position? Soon to be true for Octavia, since I have no doubt they're going to enjoy a fight sooner or later...
Also, the whip weapon, which I have no name for that I can nail down right now, and the The Devil's Tuning Fork, both allow you some new option during combat, including a kind of ranged attack, a little more grace in motion with the whip, etc. I can't name all of the possibilities without taking up a page, but I know you can figure out SOME way to use it...
Scootaloo reminds me a lot of this guy:
idigitalcitizen.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/1280x1024-sideswipe.jpg?w=1280