All Over the Board

by Brass Polish

2 Minotaur

“There you are!” exclaimed Silver Spoon when Diamond Tiara burst into the schoolhouse. “Is anything wrong?”

“No, I’m good,” replied Diamond Tiara breathlessly. “How’s everyone doing?”

“I’ve been tin plated making me immune to slings and arrows, Rumble’s been appointed mayor of the crow ponies, Apple Bloom liberated a mercenary group from a fishmongers, and Twist is hiding in a sugarcane field to avoid a minotaur.”

Diamond Tiara hastily chose a game piece and a section of the expanded board; the part she picked faced the row of windows closest to the front door. She had a plan to freak Pinkie Pie out even more.

“I think something happened to all the school ponies!” Pinkie told Twilight. “None of their parents or siblings know where any of them are!”

“Calm down, Pinkie. They could be…”

“I know what they might be doing!” Pinkie interrupted. “They could be trying to overpower a power-hungry tyrant!”

“Huh?”

“You know, like they did with the Alicorn Amulet and that guy who was a less threatening version of Tirek!”

“Oh. So, you think they’re gathering in secret to stop a hostile takeover of Equestria?” asked Twilight.

“Uh, I could help you look for them if you like,” said Amber. “I’m not due to get a visit from Princess Luna until tonight, so I’ve got time.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s just a storm in a tea cup,” said Starlight.

“Easy for you to say,” twitched Pinkie. “You used to be a power-hungry tyrant.”

“Pinkie, you’re paranoid,” Twilight insisted. “I’m sure if their parents and siblings were worried, they would have come to either me or the Mayor by now.”

Pinkie looked at the door. Plainly, she’d expected somepony like Applejack or Derpy to burst into the room raving about their little foal going missing. But nopony arrived.

“Come on, Pinkie,” Amber took Pinkie’s hoof. “Let’s look around town together.”

Having played Sovereignty all day yesterday, Diamond Tiara was doing well despite starting later than the rest of the class. She was ploughing through her part of the board, and already, she’d unfolded several sections.

“Wow. You’re a machine,” said Rumble.

“Big deal,” scoffed Gilt Eyes, indicating his expanded part of the board. He’d unfolded so many sections, one of the school windows was covered up.

Diamond Tiara was one fold away from covering a window herself. Before her next turn came, she spotted Pinkie Pie and Amber Aldis approaching the school. She quickly grabbed the dice, and rolled a 249.

“Yes!”

She quickly moved her piece forward, commandeered the last few acres of the cauliflower field she’d requisitioned from the shifty apothecaries, and then she unfolded her next board expansion.

“The windows are boarded up!” she heard someone shout from the other side.

“Is somepony yelling out there?” asked Cheerilee.

“I didn’t hear anything, Miss Cheerilee,” lied Diamond Tiara.

On the other side of the wall, Pinkie Pie and Amber Aldis played right into Diamond Tiara’s hooves by trying to peer through the windows that happened to be blocked by Sovereignty boards.

“Well, the school’s locked up, so there’s nopony in there,” Amber said. “Um, we should probably split up. Why don’t you go see Zecora in the Everfree Forest?”

“Great idea!” Pinkie Pie bounded away. “I’ll find out who they’re trying to stop from taking over Equestria!”

Amber sighed. “I’ll bet she’ll be in there for a while. I guess I’ll see if I can get any information from Cheerilee.”

Ponies had to be careful not to draw attention to themselves when they entered the Everfree to visit Zecora, but Pinkie Pie was in such a rush, she showed less restraint than usual upon arrival. Her panic over not knowing where any of the school ponies were was not helped by the arrival of a minotaur, who stomped towards her until a talisman materialized out of nowhere and went over Pinkie’s head and around her neck. The minotaur recoiled, and promptly retreated.

“Forget that noise!” he groaned as he ran into the overgrown bushes.

Once he was out of sight, Pinkie examined the protective talisman around her neck.

“Are you here, Zecora?!” she looked around.

“I’ll remind you that silence is paramount to survival,” Zecora emerged from behind a tree. “I must ask what warranted your obnoxious arrival.”

“All the foals in town are missing!” Pinkie could not keep her voice down. “I thought maybe they were taking turns with the Alicorn Amulet with you again to try and defeat some powerful villain!”

“If that is the case, it’s nothing to do with me. That amulet’s the only one I’ve touched recently,” Zecora removed the talisman from around Pinkie’s neck.

Pinkie Pie sighed. “They would have told you if they wanted to use the Alicorn Amulet, so that’s not what they’re doing. So where are they?!”

“I’m confident you’ll discover the explanation,” smiled Zecora. “And hopefully, it won’t cause you any frustration.”

Pinkie wasn’t listening.

“Mrs Cake’s note said she didn’t need me to foalsit anymore! What if that’s because Pound and Pumpkin are missing too?!”

And she bolted from the forest.

A quick and boisterous visit to Sugarcube Corner revealed that Pound and Pumpkin were safely at home.

“So it’s just the school ponies who vanished,” said Pinkie, not feeling any better despite her knowledge that the Cake twins were still here.

“I don’t think they vanished, hun,” said Cup Cake. “Although I do find it strange that nopony knows where they are. But if you don’t manage to find them, Amber surely will.”

Pinkie looked out the window and saw Amber Aldis flying above Ponyville squinting about for any sign of a school-age pony.

“Any ideas, Mrs Cake?” Pinkie Pie asked.

Cup Cake scratched her chin. “Perhaps they’re bowling. Or having their manes done.”

So Pinkie raced out of the bakery to make some inquiries. Sadly, Mr Kingpin, Aloe, and Lotus could not help her. No foals had visited the bowling alley or the spa that day.

“We have no appointments right now. Perhaps you’d like some treatment?” Aloe offered.

“You look awfully stressed out.”

“No thanks,” Pinkie Pie panted. “The only thing that could calm me down now is the sight of at least one of the school ponies!”

Her chance was fast approaching. The game of Sovereignty was going well, and the foals and Cheerilee were quite enjoying themselves. There were boards all over the classroom. Rumble had some sections on the ceiling. Both Featherweight and Snails were close to defeating the overlords, but by now, everypony was losing energy. No one thought to bring food and drink. Not everyone was on board with ending the game there, though.

“Perhaps if we all chip in, one of us could run and fetch some lunch,” suggested Cheerilee.

“I’ll go!” cried Diamond Tiara.

“Getting cocky, are ya?” chuckled Scootaloo. “Getting so far ahead even though you showed up late.”

Diamond Tiara didn’t answer as she collected everypony’s lunch money, but she actually wanted to see if Pinkie Pie was still freaking out about not knowing where all the foals in town disappeared to.

She was not disappointed. She made her way through town, and stayed out of sight when she spotted Pinkie Pie going door to door asking if anyone had seen any foals about. She managed to hold in her laughter until she got to the burger joint.

“Hey, Pinkie Pie was here half an hour ago asking about you and your classmates,” said the cashier.

“Oh. Well, if I see her, I’ll let her know where we all are,” lied Diamond Tiara.

“Where have you all been then?”

“Look, can I just get my order?”

“Oh, alright. If you think you can carry it all.”

All those bags of burgers and fries were rather heavy, and Diamond Tiara knew she’d look rather conspicuous carrying them all along Ponyville’s streets. She spotted Big McIntosh hauling an empty cart. He seemed to have finished a delivery of apples.

“Hey Big Mac, could you drop these off at the school house?” asked Diamond Tiara.

“Eeeyup,” nodded Big Mac.

Diamond Tiara was sure Pinkie Pie would get no information on the school ponies’ whereabouts from the quietest pony in town.

I’ll take the long way to school, she thought as she watched Big Mac leave with all the food, taking a sip from her pop that she held onto.

Diamond Tiara was wrong about Big McIntosh. Pinkie Pie left no pony unasked, and got an emphatic “Eeeyup” when she asked if he’d seen any foals.

“Blabbermouth,” Diamond Tiara grunted from behind the garbage bin she was hiding behind.

Perhaps if Pinkie had stopped to think, she might have learned that Big Mac was taking all those burgers to the schoolhouse, where all the school ponies were. Instead, she followed Big Mac’s gaze and ran towards Diamond Tiara, who dropped her drink and ran towards a back alley. Pinkie Pie didn’t spot her, but she sure did make a spectacle of herself as she ran towards the direction Big Mac indicated.

“Where are you, Diamond Tiara?!” she roared at the top of her voice.

The next few minutes were quite exhausting. Diamond Tiara was quickly running out of places to avoid Pinkie, but she was enjoying the sound of her yelling like a maniac so much that she refused to surrender. Pinkie Pie was getting incredibly frustrated, as not only were there boot prints in the snow all over this area, but her cheap crown had fallen off her head.

“As Celestia is my witness, I will find you, Diamond Tiara!” Pinkie exploded.

She came close. Diamond Tiara had given Pinkie Pie the run-around for so long, she wasn’t really paying attention to where she was running and hiding anymore. She couldn’t find a place to completely conceal herself, and she was sure bursting into any buildings would be a mistake. She stopped to catch her breath, and had to stifle a gasp when she realised she’d come to a halt right behind Pinkie Pie, who was also standing still.

“If I stay right here and don’t move,” Pinkie breathed heavily, “she’ll show up. She’s got to.”

Nope, Diamond Tiara thought, doing her best not to breathe loudly.

They both stayed where they were for over half an hour. Pinkie Sense gave no indication of somepony standing right behind you, so Pinkie Pie had no idea that Diamond Tiara was mere inches away. It was cold outside, and they were both shivering. Pinkie’s teeth chattering drowned out the sound of Diamond’s. Despite the uncomfortable position she was in, the novelty hadn’t worn off for Diamond Tiara.

At last, Pinkie Pie gave up. “I can’t just stand around anymore!”

As soon as she took off, Diamond Tiara realised something. They’d been standing near the garbage bin she’d been hiding behind when Big Mac pointed her out. She hadn’t noticed because she was wearing boots, but Diamond Tiara had been standing in a puddle of cola, which she’d spilled herself. It had frozen solid in the half hour she’d been standing there; and Pinkie’s tail had also gotten stuck in it. Pinkie Pie’s tail stretched and stretched as she ran further from the garbage bin. The chunk of ice began to detach itself from the snowy ground.

The next thing Diamond Tiara knew, she was being dragged around town, sliding on a sheet of brown ice that was clinging to all four of her hooves.

“Pinkie! Stop!” she called.

By now, Pinkie Pie was so worked up that she wasn’t using her ears. She had no clue that she was giving the very filly she was looking for the ride of her life. Up ahead, Amber Aldis had stopped flying around as her wings were getting tired. She saw Pinkie Pie on the approach, and dragging Diamond Tiara behind her.

“Hey Pinkie, one of the school ponies is stuck to your tail!” she shouted.

Pinkie Pie heard and turned around. Diamond Tiara’s momentum made her slam right into Pinkie Pie’s open hooves.

“Diamond Tiara! I found you!” squealed Pinkie happily. “Finally!”

Diamond Tiara was too exhausted to try and break free from Pinkie’s bone-crushing hug.

“Any idea where the rest of your classmates are?” asked Amber.

Diamond sighed. “They’re at the schoolhouse.”

“But we looked there. All the windows were…”

“We were playing a board game in there,” explained Diamond Tiara. “I covered that window with my unfolded part.”

“Hey. Did you know we were looking for you and the other school ponies?” asked Amber.

“Yeah. I was playing a joke on Pinkie.”

Pinkie Pie let go of Diamond Tiara and glared at her.

“You scared the sprinkles outta me! What kinda joke was that?!”

“What? You liked that joke I played on you yesterday.”

“Yeah, but you carried this one too long,” said Pinkie. “A joke’s not funny if you take it too far. I was worried sick about you.”

“Oh,” Diamond Tiara blushed. “I didn’t realise. I’m sorry.”

“Well that’s just not good enough.”

Pinkie Pie yanked her tail from the ice and walked briskly away, pulling Amber Aldis with her.

“Hey, wait! I need help!” Diamond Tiara’s hooves were still stuck in the brown ice chunk.

Pinkie laughed and turned around. “I was joking. You see what I mean though, right?”

“Yeah, I do,” sighed Diamond Tiara, relieved that Pinkie was coming back to help her break the ice. “I’ll never take a joke too far again.”

Soon, Pinkie and Amber had broken the brown ice and freed Diamond Tiara.

“Oh, I found this on the ground,” Pinkie reached into her mane and pulled out Diamond Tiara’s crown.

“She won’t be needing that back,” said Amber. “She just said she’s done carrying jokes too far.”

Author's Note:

I put this up today because there's no guarantee I'll have internet access on Saturday.